Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Hey Pandas, AITA For Feeling Upset Over Discovering Disturbing Online Activity In My Partner’s Past?
User submission
49
13.6K

Hey Pandas, AITA For Feeling Upset Over Discovering Disturbing Online Activity In My Partner’s Past?

ADVERTISEMENT

Moderator’s note:

If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.

Recently, I found a folder with 291 pictures of sexy poses and hardly dressed (some nude) women on my longtime partner’s phone. We’ve been together for 11 years.

I also found dating apps like OkCupid and MeetMe on his phone. I know he has been talking to people on them, even though he deleted all the messages (I found screenshots of some messages).

I never checked his phone before; I always trusted him and gave him space, respecting his privacy.

Now, he recently passed away from colon cancer

Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)

I was hoping to find some pictures and videos for our 20-month-old son and maybe a voice message he might have left for him.

But he didn’t leave any messages, notes, or anything for our son

Image credits: Rahul Chakraborty (not the actual photo)

Instead, I found out he was chatting with and had screenshots of naked girls over the whole 11 years we were together.

ADVERTISEMENT

I feel very betrayed and disgusted for spending so much time, attention, and money (since he couldn’t keep a job) on someone who did this

Image credits: Daniele La Rosa Messina (not the actual photo)

Even on days when I was laying in the hospital with pre-eclampsia, he was talking with other girls!

Am I just overreacting, or is this a guy thing?

Moderator’s note:

Please note that the images included in this article are for illustrative purposes only and do not represent the actual individuals or items discussed in the story.

If you have a comparable experience or story you’d like to tell, we welcome your submissions. Click here to share your story with Bored Panda.

Poll icon

Poll Question

Thanks! Check out the results:

You May Also Like

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?

Take the Poll
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

“They Saw The Blood Leave My Body”: Woman Refuses To Tip 10% At Bridal Store

How do you feel about the practice of tipping at a bridal store?

Take the Poll

17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It

Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?

Take the Poll

14Kviews

Share on Facebook
You May Like
Related on Bored Panda
What do you think ?
Add photo comments
POST
sparklystuffbyrae avatar
Lyoness
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feel your feels, friend. The only way to get past how you're feeling is to go through it. Allow yourself to have every emotion that comes up - anger, disgust, sadness, whatever it may be. And then be ready to grieve, not just for the loss of your husband but for the man you thought he was. Having been through something similar I strongly recommend therapy - it gave me back to myself. Be well.

pravina_ps avatar
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you all for your comments and support. I have an appointment next week with a psychologist to deal with this all. Every comment helped me as well and I'm glad I was able to share what happened with you guys. Thank you very much once again

glennschroeder avatar
Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not a guy thing. That is AH behavior, and it's not restricted to any one gender. There are plenty of good men out there, and I'm sure you'll find one (when you're ready, of course).

Load More Replies...
libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you are not overreacting, it's not a guy thing it's a callous cheater thing you supported him through illness and this was how he repaid you? I'm sorry for your loss. I will say, sometimes being seriously ill can make people a little crazy maybe to the point of grabbing at anything and everything to experience regardless of morals or ethics. If you can forgive him, great but you are definitely entitled to your feelings of anger and betrayal too.

Load More Comments
sparklystuffbyrae avatar
Lyoness
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feel your feels, friend. The only way to get past how you're feeling is to go through it. Allow yourself to have every emotion that comes up - anger, disgust, sadness, whatever it may be. And then be ready to grieve, not just for the loss of your husband but for the man you thought he was. Having been through something similar I strongly recommend therapy - it gave me back to myself. Be well.

pravina_ps avatar
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you all for your comments and support. I have an appointment next week with a psychologist to deal with this all. Every comment helped me as well and I'm glad I was able to share what happened with you guys. Thank you very much once again

glennschroeder avatar
Papa
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not a guy thing. That is AH behavior, and it's not restricted to any one gender. There are plenty of good men out there, and I'm sure you'll find one (when you're ready, of course).

Load More Replies...
libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, you are not overreacting, it's not a guy thing it's a callous cheater thing you supported him through illness and this was how he repaid you? I'm sorry for your loss. I will say, sometimes being seriously ill can make people a little crazy maybe to the point of grabbing at anything and everything to experience regardless of morals or ethics. If you can forgive him, great but you are definitely entitled to your feelings of anger and betrayal too.

Load More Comments
Related on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda