These Safety Tips From A Former Secret Service Agent Go Viral And Start An Important Discussion
Recently, Twitter user Ryanne quoted a TikTok, saying “men never ask for help.” This bold statement immediately started a heated discussion, and some of its participants began looking for the author of the message.
People eventually came to an agreement that it was Lauren, aka Cardy Couture Boutique. She has posted numerous videos, sharing advice on safety from her dad, a former member of the Secret Service.
This tweet started a heated discussion on women safety
Image credits: ryanneashleigh
So to get more information, its participants began looking for the TikTok that inspired it
@cardy_couture_boutiqueYour Welcome #BiggerIsBetter#DontSweatIt#inspirational#ShowerWithMoxie#virAl#fyp#marchmadness#momtok#qoutes#poster♬ A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
Women definitely need to stay alert. A sexual assaulter can be any kind of person. These words shouldn’t make everyone scared of everyone else; rather, they just mean that there isn’t one specific type who commits such kinds of crimes.
At least that is what Dr. Samuel D. Smithyman, a US clinical psychologist, learned when he anonymously interviewed 50 men back in the 1970s who had confessed to having raped someone.
These men had diverse backgrounds and social statuses as well as different personalities and mentalities. What really surprised Smithyman was how unconcerned they sounded when talking about such a criminal offense.
The motives that push a person to rape someone vary and are difficult to quantify. However, studies show that rapists have some common characteristics, including a lack of empathy, narcissism, and feelings of hostility towards women.
They came to an agreement that it belongs to Lauren, aka Cardy Couture Boutique
And she has a whole series dedicated to this important topic
The videos have a combined view count of nearly 2 million
@cardy_couture_boutiqueYou asked I delivered #RayBanElevatorDance #PlantersTrickShot #BiggerIsBetter #DontSweatIt #inspirational#viral#fypdong♬ A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
Lauren’s dad really knows what he’s talking about. Special Agents are men and women of the highest caliber, performing critical protective and investigative assignments. During their careers, Special Agents may be assigned to multiple duty stations throughout the United States and abroad with responsibilities that include: protecting various protectees, conducting criminal investigations pertaining to financial obligations of the United States, and planning and implementing security designs for National Special Security Events.
And Lauren believes her dad’s advice have already saved her life
@cardy_couture_boutiqueWill explain the last one in another video#FindYourCore#RayBanElevatorDance #GodzillaVsKongRoar #inspirationalquotes#SourPatchPrankFund#fyp#viral♬ A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
Some men have been questioning the application of these tips
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While women have been sharing stories, proving they can be more valuable than they seem at first
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I hate this post with every fiber of my body. It is so wrong that women have to live in fear like this. It's so wrong that there are such evil men in this world. It's just so much wrong, and so much pain, and so much fear. I hate it all. And, as a white man in the US, I am sorry that women have to live in fear. I am sorry that so many men are out there attacking women. I am sorry that you all have to go through this on a daily basis. I'm sorry.
Nice to see that someone gets it. Women did not create this type of world, but we do have to survive in it.
Load More Replies...As with so many things, condensing advice into headlines means important context and nuance is lost. If a man has the opportunity to ask another man for help, he should, but if the help required is clearly genuine (someone is bleeding, or there is a fire) that shouldn't stop him asking a woman for help if she's the only other person available - ask her to use her phone to call EMS. If he specifically targets a woman to ask for help, it's a red flag.
Just ask from a safe distance, e.g., 4-5 meteres, "Excuse me? I need ..... Can you please help me?" and do not approach the other person. Any other situation, I was taught, is potential danger. By my dad, btw.
When my indoor cat took off, I did ask some kids playing outside if they had seen her (kids are more likely to notice animals than adults are). However, I did not ask for help looking for her -- that would be irresponsible. I found my cat (thanks, kids).
Load More Replies..."When a man asks you for help you better run". So this is why I can't get any service at the stores I shop at.
I'm asked for help every flippin' day. By men, women, and whatever in between, and just be polite and keep a polite distance, and nobody has to freak out, y'know? *sigh*
Load More Replies...So many salty male tears. Like it or not, this is the world you have created for women, fellas. These are all great tips. Ignore all the men trying to make it about them, as usual, and follow these tips, ladies. Our kind and helpful natures can oftentimes work against us. Put your own safety first. You will never regret it, but you may very well come to regret being "nice" at the wrong moment.
Men are not the only ones who created this world. Women telling their sons to "man up" and "don't cry" and other things helped create toxic masculinity. And it will take all of us to solve this problem. Being divisive certainly won't help.
Load More Replies...I totally respect your efforts to keep women safe but.... I was walking in a large unkempt public park when I spotted a guy who somehow looked strange. I started thinking, ''I hope he doesn't approach me with a request''. Sure enough, he asked where he could find a priest (!) Turned out his mother had just died in his apartment (no airconditionning) . City sanitation said they,d pick up the body but he would have to do without religious ceremony. The guy was so visibly out of it that I walked him over to the university chaplain's house and ruined the end-of-semester barbecue party. The trouble with police and secret service is that they are trained to react by rote to emergencies where there is no time to think. I saw this fellow walking towards me (not behind!) and I KNEW.
First lesson of The Gift of Fear (classic on safety): Listen to your gut and trust it. Good for you.
Load More Replies...Telling women that men don't ask for help is telling men they *shouldn't* ask for help. As a victim of a pretty nasty attack in which my phone was stolen and I really needed help, this kind of statement is frightening. Be careful and have your wits about you but for goodness sake, men sometimes need help!
Sorry rather you go get help by a man than me take the chances of helping you and being kidnapped, raped and even murdered. Again, if you’re angry at this statement direct the anger at your fellow man.. we didn’t create this fear / reality… the men who rape is did…
Load More Replies...Awareness is good, but it creates a huge divide. It focuses on negativity, lots of negative emotions, thoughts, feelings attached. Spread positivity, not fear. I'd say, trust your instinct above all. A guy with a cast on his arm can need help. And EVERYONE should be able to ask for help. You can't see all injuries, disabilities from the outside. I'm getting a bit tired of this fear culture rising more and more here. Maybe because I don't live in constant fear like it seems the USA does? More positive stories (and not "how I survived an attack" or "rescued abandoned puppies" ) As there is a very strong negative thing to it. Stories about dancing in the street. Stories about crazy postitive stuff with no other incentive then that. Like just dancing in the streets because dancing and music is so wholesome.
I agree. Men asking for help shouldn't be this much of an issue. It can raise red flags if they are trying to lead you away to a secluded place, but it can also be a woman doing this and lead you to a place where her partner(s) are waiting. It's not a black and white thing, you need to be smart, not paranoid of one gender.
Load More Replies...This is how I experienced folks in the US. Super nice and super paranoid, always aware and ready to defend themselves. It's too much, this is how everyone ends up with firearms. Common sense goes a Long way, this fearmongering is totally exaggerated and dangerous in itself.
For me, it's not as bad as this sounds. You just want to be on the lookout for red flags.
Load More Replies...Bruh this article is sooo toxic and stereotypical like we are all humans after all.......
Bruh, male violence against women is soooo much a real thing. Too bad all the men beating, raping, kidnapping , and trafficking us don't realize that women are human after all...
Load More Replies...Forget the 'four right turns'. If you think you are being followed, go into a public place.
I can't even remember the last time I saw a pay phone. Better to drive right to the local police station.
Load More Replies...MeN dOn’T aSk FoR hElP- that’s such an antiquated view, Jesus Christ. I understand that caution and even some paranoia is necessary, but if some asks you for help that isn’t a reason to mace them and then call the cops. Handle everything on a case by case basis; if someone is obviously being creepy and getting too close then of course get out of there, but if someone rolls down their window to ask for directions that doesn’t mean they want to kidnap you.
I'd honestly rather cut the inspirational quotes and just hear what the Secret Service guy has to say.
This is "Taken" level of paranoïa meant to turn people into selfish, shitty people. This is it Bored Panda. This is goodbye forever. You are toxic.
If you live every day in fear - what's the point? Yes, sometimes a horrible person does a horrible thing. But 99% of people are good, they just want to get on with their lives, they're not saints but they don't want to hurt anyone. I just think it's nice to be nice, and what you give out you get back.
Well that's a crock of horse doody. You go ahead and be 'nice' to the creepy guys and I'll carry on looking out for myself because nobody else is going to.
Load More Replies...Sadly I was attacked by a random creeper in MY TOWNHOUSE COMPLEX Parking lot- which was huge & no one heard me yelling, so I pulled a Sandra Bullock move from Miss Congeniality-stomped on his instep, rammed my head at his nose, elbowed him, back-kicked his balls, then throat punched him hard as f**k once he let me go. Never thought I'd learn anything useful from that movie but HOLY S**T am I glad I saw it.
Wowzer, thankful u had something useful spring to mind! Hope you are ok/safer now. I remember that too btw Lol, S.I.N.G.; solarplexus, instep, nose, groin!
Load More Replies...Maybe this should be marked safety tips for Americans. Most of the civilised world isn't as f****d up
I often traval alone. Stay in the rather cheap hotels then - I'm not on vacation, I just wanna sleep and shower somewhere. I often have to ask for directions because I don't know every town in the country, and sometimes, I ask females for the way. Sometimes males. Never asked any else, never followed anyone, ... why does he think I wouldn't do that without any improper motivation? Why is "Men don't XY" never discriminating, but always ok? It is stupid, not even halfway true and likely, believing in it won't only not help you, but may cause additional problems (like, if someone - even a female believing she'd execute some self defense - sprayed me with pepper spray, I sure would lose any restrictions about being polite and not hurting people who I don't know, but beat the crap out of whatever idiot does so - and, likely, a lot of usually polite and inviolent men will do the same if they're treated that way). There are other signs to be aware of.
Dear people, I know many women have bad experiences, but neither this one nor the other post (about how men can help women feel safe) is meant to create/promote fear. It often sounds like that, i see it too, but it means to give you overview of situation. Situational awareness. In any situation. I was attacked twice in my life, once by woman,who was actually friend of my friend. I'm not scared of person asking for direction whoever it is, or runner passing by. Just be aware of your surroundings whoever you are, guys are so often easy targets too just they are asked to not to complain about it. If you're scared it's not good, do something about it, get training, practice, learn. Not all people are bad, but learn not to have to count on them. A friend may disappoint you too by not being able to react correctly, when you need it. You can have power/knowledge beat past, present and future, whatever they throw at you.
This is ridiculous,men shouldn't ask for help?So if you as a woman are in danger,than it is also not allowed to ask TO help?
You've misconstrued. Men rarely ask for help of strange women they don't know. Women need to be safe. Men often use a woman's desire to be helpful against her. Say salty about it, though!
Load More Replies...WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Hol Up, I Noticed Something... Sexsism Men Sometimes Ask For Help, I Do, Being One Myself. Nor Do I Feel Ashamed Posting This Comment. Though this is a concerning thing in people's everyday life, I still think that people have to think about the "tips" that they give. This Is The ONLY part of the post I feel this way about.
BP seems to be pushing this over and over. Being super careful is more than fine, making people paranoid, a lot less. One day you will need help and no one will help you. Is that what you want?
I'm so naive aka 'dumb' I've never thought about how it might look when I chat up someone. This gave me a lot to think about.
The poster's terrible grammar and spelling aside, most of her father's advice is sound....but shouldn't be taken at face value. I have a hard time taking advice from someone who is constantly (herself) shoveling food into their maw. It just doesn't seem as if they're actually into what they're posting, as if they just want to get attention any old way they can think of doing.
Secret service people don’t use tik tok. The woman on this post was never an agent in secret service for the US. Tik tok is a monitoring app. All secret service know this
My family and I just returned from a vacation and for 3 days my husband never left the hotel. I was very aware of my surroundings at all time. At one point I made my kids cross the street to avoid someone who just looked suspicious. After we crossed I stiff there for just a moment and saw several women walking alone who did the same. Sometimes you can just get a vibe about someone. Trust your instincts and act accordingly.
well, the last time i had to help anyone was an elderly couple on the street, the wife of whom had tripped on cobbles and banged her head. and because im disabled if i overdo it during a hike, id normally have no problem asking for help in the form of water or directions from passersby. glad to now know that because im white and straight, i no longer have the option of asking for help, but can now have the added benefit of watching a fellow human bleed to death in the street. awesome.
To the "Not all men!!!" crowd: Yes. All men. YOU might be a "nice guy", YOU know it. No one else does. The vast majority of sexual abuses and attacks on women are done by men. So, it's all men. Because all men have to take responsibility to make sure their enviroment isn't toxic towards women, by saying stop when someone makes a misogynistic comment or behaves like a sleaze. Also: Believe her. When she tells you about abuse, she's reaching out hoping someone will listen. Don't judge or try to excuse someone elses behavior. Believe her.
Men are mocked for not asking for directions, but if they do women think they are rapists. Society needs to stop having such stereotypes for men.
i'd like some more context on the four right turns thing. i feel like i've heard it before but i can't fathom now what purpose that would serve.
I wonder what is next. Victim blaming because she didn't walk in the middle of the road? Didn't have her keys between her fingers? Helped a guy who asked for help? Because she didn't let someone know where she was? Went home alone? Did we move on from "wearing revealing clothes" to: "didn't take precautions"? It is not meant to be like that. But people will say: "If only she had done -this and this- differently".
Fantastic advice! Thanks for sharing! This is especially helpful for people who are generally helpful and trusting. In Indiana, we pride ourselves on our Hoosier Hospitality. So this advice is great to remember that not everyone has good intentions.
This girl wasn't really a friend, but I knew her boyfriend. She was walking down the street cause she left a concert early, she was kinda f'ed up and these dudes threw her in their trunk. She freaked out and kicked the trunk open and ran off. I have had situations where that could of easily happened to me. S*** is terrifying
I am always so annoyed about affronted males and their 'notallmen' melodrama. No woman WANTS to live in a world like this but that is the way it currently is: We are constantly in danger and thus (almost) constantly alert. So, you don't like that women are wary around you just because you are male? Well, though luck, I don't want to be a victim and thus I am suspiscious regardless if that hurts your feelings. If you don't ike this, go change the world. But don't blame the victims.
The vast majority of men aren't a threat. How would you like it if someone said "we have to be wary of black people because some of them are dangerous"? It's no different making stereotypes about men than it is about blacks.
Load More Replies...I'm so relieved. Now all the creeps have a play by play. Also, never reveal your dad was in the secret service smh
I'm pretty sure I've never seen my husband ask for help. Especially not from other men. XD He's not even aware of it. I'm pretty sure Google search was invented so men could ask questions discreetly. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
All of this might be true and worthwhile, but I still want to see some 'men are awesome' articles from BP, just like I'd like to see some 'Good things about America', 'Good things about a free-market economy' and some 'Don't demonize people who don't share your political views' articles.
So sad that men have been taught that it's a weakness to ask for help. Ridiculous.
That’s not what’s being suggested. No where did it say, men shouldn’t ask for help because it’s a weakness. The meme reads “Men don’t ask for help.” Not “men, don’t ask for help.” It’s a warning to women to be wary of anything out of the ordinary. Ordinarily, an average size man is not going to ask an average size woman to help him load his vehicle. It’s based on statistics compiled over years of studying the MO of people who kidnap other people and studying how someone was murdered. You’re skewing this advice to fit your own world view, try being more objective.
Load More Replies...Like when was the last cute animal article? Those used to be daily!
Load More Replies...Nice victim-blame. When you're the one who is targeted, will you say, "Welp, I 'went to Vegas'?"
Load More Replies...I hate this post with every fiber of my body. It is so wrong that women have to live in fear like this. It's so wrong that there are such evil men in this world. It's just so much wrong, and so much pain, and so much fear. I hate it all. And, as a white man in the US, I am sorry that women have to live in fear. I am sorry that so many men are out there attacking women. I am sorry that you all have to go through this on a daily basis. I'm sorry.
Nice to see that someone gets it. Women did not create this type of world, but we do have to survive in it.
Load More Replies...As with so many things, condensing advice into headlines means important context and nuance is lost. If a man has the opportunity to ask another man for help, he should, but if the help required is clearly genuine (someone is bleeding, or there is a fire) that shouldn't stop him asking a woman for help if she's the only other person available - ask her to use her phone to call EMS. If he specifically targets a woman to ask for help, it's a red flag.
Just ask from a safe distance, e.g., 4-5 meteres, "Excuse me? I need ..... Can you please help me?" and do not approach the other person. Any other situation, I was taught, is potential danger. By my dad, btw.
When my indoor cat took off, I did ask some kids playing outside if they had seen her (kids are more likely to notice animals than adults are). However, I did not ask for help looking for her -- that would be irresponsible. I found my cat (thanks, kids).
Load More Replies..."When a man asks you for help you better run". So this is why I can't get any service at the stores I shop at.
I'm asked for help every flippin' day. By men, women, and whatever in between, and just be polite and keep a polite distance, and nobody has to freak out, y'know? *sigh*
Load More Replies...So many salty male tears. Like it or not, this is the world you have created for women, fellas. These are all great tips. Ignore all the men trying to make it about them, as usual, and follow these tips, ladies. Our kind and helpful natures can oftentimes work against us. Put your own safety first. You will never regret it, but you may very well come to regret being "nice" at the wrong moment.
Men are not the only ones who created this world. Women telling their sons to "man up" and "don't cry" and other things helped create toxic masculinity. And it will take all of us to solve this problem. Being divisive certainly won't help.
Load More Replies...I totally respect your efforts to keep women safe but.... I was walking in a large unkempt public park when I spotted a guy who somehow looked strange. I started thinking, ''I hope he doesn't approach me with a request''. Sure enough, he asked where he could find a priest (!) Turned out his mother had just died in his apartment (no airconditionning) . City sanitation said they,d pick up the body but he would have to do without religious ceremony. The guy was so visibly out of it that I walked him over to the university chaplain's house and ruined the end-of-semester barbecue party. The trouble with police and secret service is that they are trained to react by rote to emergencies where there is no time to think. I saw this fellow walking towards me (not behind!) and I KNEW.
First lesson of The Gift of Fear (classic on safety): Listen to your gut and trust it. Good for you.
Load More Replies...Telling women that men don't ask for help is telling men they *shouldn't* ask for help. As a victim of a pretty nasty attack in which my phone was stolen and I really needed help, this kind of statement is frightening. Be careful and have your wits about you but for goodness sake, men sometimes need help!
Sorry rather you go get help by a man than me take the chances of helping you and being kidnapped, raped and even murdered. Again, if you’re angry at this statement direct the anger at your fellow man.. we didn’t create this fear / reality… the men who rape is did…
Load More Replies...Awareness is good, but it creates a huge divide. It focuses on negativity, lots of negative emotions, thoughts, feelings attached. Spread positivity, not fear. I'd say, trust your instinct above all. A guy with a cast on his arm can need help. And EVERYONE should be able to ask for help. You can't see all injuries, disabilities from the outside. I'm getting a bit tired of this fear culture rising more and more here. Maybe because I don't live in constant fear like it seems the USA does? More positive stories (and not "how I survived an attack" or "rescued abandoned puppies" ) As there is a very strong negative thing to it. Stories about dancing in the street. Stories about crazy postitive stuff with no other incentive then that. Like just dancing in the streets because dancing and music is so wholesome.
I agree. Men asking for help shouldn't be this much of an issue. It can raise red flags if they are trying to lead you away to a secluded place, but it can also be a woman doing this and lead you to a place where her partner(s) are waiting. It's not a black and white thing, you need to be smart, not paranoid of one gender.
Load More Replies...This is how I experienced folks in the US. Super nice and super paranoid, always aware and ready to defend themselves. It's too much, this is how everyone ends up with firearms. Common sense goes a Long way, this fearmongering is totally exaggerated and dangerous in itself.
For me, it's not as bad as this sounds. You just want to be on the lookout for red flags.
Load More Replies...Bruh this article is sooo toxic and stereotypical like we are all humans after all.......
Bruh, male violence against women is soooo much a real thing. Too bad all the men beating, raping, kidnapping , and trafficking us don't realize that women are human after all...
Load More Replies...Forget the 'four right turns'. If you think you are being followed, go into a public place.
I can't even remember the last time I saw a pay phone. Better to drive right to the local police station.
Load More Replies...MeN dOn’T aSk FoR hElP- that’s such an antiquated view, Jesus Christ. I understand that caution and even some paranoia is necessary, but if some asks you for help that isn’t a reason to mace them and then call the cops. Handle everything on a case by case basis; if someone is obviously being creepy and getting too close then of course get out of there, but if someone rolls down their window to ask for directions that doesn’t mean they want to kidnap you.
I'd honestly rather cut the inspirational quotes and just hear what the Secret Service guy has to say.
This is "Taken" level of paranoïa meant to turn people into selfish, shitty people. This is it Bored Panda. This is goodbye forever. You are toxic.
If you live every day in fear - what's the point? Yes, sometimes a horrible person does a horrible thing. But 99% of people are good, they just want to get on with their lives, they're not saints but they don't want to hurt anyone. I just think it's nice to be nice, and what you give out you get back.
Well that's a crock of horse doody. You go ahead and be 'nice' to the creepy guys and I'll carry on looking out for myself because nobody else is going to.
Load More Replies...Sadly I was attacked by a random creeper in MY TOWNHOUSE COMPLEX Parking lot- which was huge & no one heard me yelling, so I pulled a Sandra Bullock move from Miss Congeniality-stomped on his instep, rammed my head at his nose, elbowed him, back-kicked his balls, then throat punched him hard as f**k once he let me go. Never thought I'd learn anything useful from that movie but HOLY S**T am I glad I saw it.
Wowzer, thankful u had something useful spring to mind! Hope you are ok/safer now. I remember that too btw Lol, S.I.N.G.; solarplexus, instep, nose, groin!
Load More Replies...Maybe this should be marked safety tips for Americans. Most of the civilised world isn't as f****d up
I often traval alone. Stay in the rather cheap hotels then - I'm not on vacation, I just wanna sleep and shower somewhere. I often have to ask for directions because I don't know every town in the country, and sometimes, I ask females for the way. Sometimes males. Never asked any else, never followed anyone, ... why does he think I wouldn't do that without any improper motivation? Why is "Men don't XY" never discriminating, but always ok? It is stupid, not even halfway true and likely, believing in it won't only not help you, but may cause additional problems (like, if someone - even a female believing she'd execute some self defense - sprayed me with pepper spray, I sure would lose any restrictions about being polite and not hurting people who I don't know, but beat the crap out of whatever idiot does so - and, likely, a lot of usually polite and inviolent men will do the same if they're treated that way). There are other signs to be aware of.
Dear people, I know many women have bad experiences, but neither this one nor the other post (about how men can help women feel safe) is meant to create/promote fear. It often sounds like that, i see it too, but it means to give you overview of situation. Situational awareness. In any situation. I was attacked twice in my life, once by woman,who was actually friend of my friend. I'm not scared of person asking for direction whoever it is, or runner passing by. Just be aware of your surroundings whoever you are, guys are so often easy targets too just they are asked to not to complain about it. If you're scared it's not good, do something about it, get training, practice, learn. Not all people are bad, but learn not to have to count on them. A friend may disappoint you too by not being able to react correctly, when you need it. You can have power/knowledge beat past, present and future, whatever they throw at you.
This is ridiculous,men shouldn't ask for help?So if you as a woman are in danger,than it is also not allowed to ask TO help?
You've misconstrued. Men rarely ask for help of strange women they don't know. Women need to be safe. Men often use a woman's desire to be helpful against her. Say salty about it, though!
Load More Replies...WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Hol Up, I Noticed Something... Sexsism Men Sometimes Ask For Help, I Do, Being One Myself. Nor Do I Feel Ashamed Posting This Comment. Though this is a concerning thing in people's everyday life, I still think that people have to think about the "tips" that they give. This Is The ONLY part of the post I feel this way about.
BP seems to be pushing this over and over. Being super careful is more than fine, making people paranoid, a lot less. One day you will need help and no one will help you. Is that what you want?
I'm so naive aka 'dumb' I've never thought about how it might look when I chat up someone. This gave me a lot to think about.
The poster's terrible grammar and spelling aside, most of her father's advice is sound....but shouldn't be taken at face value. I have a hard time taking advice from someone who is constantly (herself) shoveling food into their maw. It just doesn't seem as if they're actually into what they're posting, as if they just want to get attention any old way they can think of doing.
Secret service people don’t use tik tok. The woman on this post was never an agent in secret service for the US. Tik tok is a monitoring app. All secret service know this
My family and I just returned from a vacation and for 3 days my husband never left the hotel. I was very aware of my surroundings at all time. At one point I made my kids cross the street to avoid someone who just looked suspicious. After we crossed I stiff there for just a moment and saw several women walking alone who did the same. Sometimes you can just get a vibe about someone. Trust your instincts and act accordingly.
well, the last time i had to help anyone was an elderly couple on the street, the wife of whom had tripped on cobbles and banged her head. and because im disabled if i overdo it during a hike, id normally have no problem asking for help in the form of water or directions from passersby. glad to now know that because im white and straight, i no longer have the option of asking for help, but can now have the added benefit of watching a fellow human bleed to death in the street. awesome.
To the "Not all men!!!" crowd: Yes. All men. YOU might be a "nice guy", YOU know it. No one else does. The vast majority of sexual abuses and attacks on women are done by men. So, it's all men. Because all men have to take responsibility to make sure their enviroment isn't toxic towards women, by saying stop when someone makes a misogynistic comment or behaves like a sleaze. Also: Believe her. When she tells you about abuse, she's reaching out hoping someone will listen. Don't judge or try to excuse someone elses behavior. Believe her.
Men are mocked for not asking for directions, but if they do women think they are rapists. Society needs to stop having such stereotypes for men.
i'd like some more context on the four right turns thing. i feel like i've heard it before but i can't fathom now what purpose that would serve.
I wonder what is next. Victim blaming because she didn't walk in the middle of the road? Didn't have her keys between her fingers? Helped a guy who asked for help? Because she didn't let someone know where she was? Went home alone? Did we move on from "wearing revealing clothes" to: "didn't take precautions"? It is not meant to be like that. But people will say: "If only she had done -this and this- differently".
Fantastic advice! Thanks for sharing! This is especially helpful for people who are generally helpful and trusting. In Indiana, we pride ourselves on our Hoosier Hospitality. So this advice is great to remember that not everyone has good intentions.
This girl wasn't really a friend, but I knew her boyfriend. She was walking down the street cause she left a concert early, she was kinda f'ed up and these dudes threw her in their trunk. She freaked out and kicked the trunk open and ran off. I have had situations where that could of easily happened to me. S*** is terrifying
I am always so annoyed about affronted males and their 'notallmen' melodrama. No woman WANTS to live in a world like this but that is the way it currently is: We are constantly in danger and thus (almost) constantly alert. So, you don't like that women are wary around you just because you are male? Well, though luck, I don't want to be a victim and thus I am suspiscious regardless if that hurts your feelings. If you don't ike this, go change the world. But don't blame the victims.
The vast majority of men aren't a threat. How would you like it if someone said "we have to be wary of black people because some of them are dangerous"? It's no different making stereotypes about men than it is about blacks.
Load More Replies...I'm so relieved. Now all the creeps have a play by play. Also, never reveal your dad was in the secret service smh
I'm pretty sure I've never seen my husband ask for help. Especially not from other men. XD He's not even aware of it. I'm pretty sure Google search was invented so men could ask questions discreetly. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
All of this might be true and worthwhile, but I still want to see some 'men are awesome' articles from BP, just like I'd like to see some 'Good things about America', 'Good things about a free-market economy' and some 'Don't demonize people who don't share your political views' articles.
So sad that men have been taught that it's a weakness to ask for help. Ridiculous.
That’s not what’s being suggested. No where did it say, men shouldn’t ask for help because it’s a weakness. The meme reads “Men don’t ask for help.” Not “men, don’t ask for help.” It’s a warning to women to be wary of anything out of the ordinary. Ordinarily, an average size man is not going to ask an average size woman to help him load his vehicle. It’s based on statistics compiled over years of studying the MO of people who kidnap other people and studying how someone was murdered. You’re skewing this advice to fit your own world view, try being more objective.
Load More Replies...Like when was the last cute animal article? Those used to be daily!
Load More Replies...Nice victim-blame. When you're the one who is targeted, will you say, "Welp, I 'went to Vegas'?"
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