“Am I A [Jerk] For Telling Someone That His ‘Achievement’ Just Meant That He Had Rich Parents?”
Interview
Every one of us grew up differently. Some of us had everything we wanted, others had to work to get something fancy we really wanted, and some of us had to appreciate every little thing that we received. However, despite a common opinion that rich people are real jerks because they think that they have money and are higher class, there are genuinely some kind and down-to-earth people who were just lucky to come from a wealthy family and uses it for personal growth or their career, rather than a reason to be rude to people who have less.
More info: Reddit
While traveling may be a luxury activity that not everybody can experience, it still enriches and shapes your personality
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Image credits: John McArtur (not the actual photo)
Guy asks if he was being a jerk for saying that the achievement of visiting 150 countries just means that someone had rich parents
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On an evening out with work colleagues, someone shared that he had just visited his 150th country, which made everybody impressed except this guy
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He explained that it doesn’t say anything about him as a person, just that he had rich parents who could afford traveling several times per year
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This made his coworker upset, which made him question whether it was his place to say something like this
A few days ago, a Redditor shared his story asking community members if it was a jerk move to tell his coworker that visiting 150 countries is not an achievement, but a sign that he has rich parents. The story went viral and in 2 days it got almost 13K upvotes and more than 5K comments.
He starts the story by explaining that recently, his company hired a new guy, Jack, who just finished college. One Friday evening, everybody went to the bar, where Jack shared his latest achievement – he visited his 150th country. OP shares that while everybody was curious and were asking many questions, he just said ‘good for you’ and went back to his drink.
Jack noticed OP being quiet and kept asking what was wrong. He finally decided to say that visiting many countries just means that he had rich parents and has nothing to do with achievements. The author added that he grew up poor, thus rich people who think that they are better than everybody are a huge pet peeve of his. However, after this confrontation, OP says that Jack left soon afterwards and now he wonders if he should have kept his opinion to himself.
The author was called a jerk in this situation by community members. “Visiting 150 countries is really cool. He never said he was better than anyone else, you just assumed that because of your own insecurities,” one user wrote. However, a few people backed OP up: “I can see OP’s point, though. The guy wanted to phrase it as an achievement, something he worked hard to accomplish. In reality the toughest part was probably finding a blank page to stamp his passport,” one person emphasized.
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Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Carla Marie Manly, who is a clinical psychologist, life fulfillment expert, and author. She kindly agreed to share her insights regarding the topic of envy and how to deal with it.
“Resentment, which often occurs due to unresolved anger and pain, can be incredibly toxic to the self,” Dr. Carla emphasizes. “If you’re feeling resentful toward a coworker, it’s wise to pause to determine if the resentment arises from a coworker’s actions or unresolved personal issues.” However, the following phase is processing and letting go of the resentment in the most mindful manner possible, regardless of the cause.
Now, talking about envy, the psychologist says that it’s a natural human emotion which is a result of desire to have what another person owns on physical, mental, emotional or material levels. Envy, when managed well, may motivate us to work hard and advance, but if fueled with negativity, it can turn toxic. “We have the power to choose whether to cope with feelings in healthy or unhealthy ways.”
For example, if you are feeling jealous of a friend or co-worker’s privileged background, lashing out at the person won’t solve anything and could make matters even worse. Carla shares that journaling about your feelings of jealousy may help you to realize that part of you is frustrated and sad because you wish your family had enjoyed more affluence. “Alternatively, you discover that a friend‘s or co-worker’s entitled attitude—not their financial privilege—triggers your resentment or angst.”
Speaking about how self-awareness and understanding of personal triggers help individuals navigate social situations better, the expert says that “The more we work to increase our self-awareness, the more we decrease the reactive tendencies that cause so much turmoil and distress.” Every one of us has triggers and by learning to understand them, we can cope with them in positive ways which will lead us to greater well-being in ourselves and our relationships.
And finally, feeling jealousy is a natural human emotion, every one of us just has to learn to control it and use it as a motivation to achieve even more from our lives. Additionally, check out Dr. Carla’s book “Joy From Fear”, in which she explains that fear, when faced with awareness, is the powerful ally and best friend we all need, very similar to jealousy.
Redditors said that the guy was being a jerk and visiting that many countries is very cool, and nobody should feel bad about it
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OP has a bit of a chip on his shoulder. I grew up very poor and I had to work doubly hard to get anywhere so I understand the frustration if you compare yourself to someone who had a silver spoon. But the only person you should be comparing yourself to.. is yourself. The person you came from, the person you are and the person you want to be.
OP didn't say anything rude until Jack kept pushing him on it. He was letting others ask questions and the topic continue. Jack was the one who wouldn't let OP sit and quietly sip his drink while Jack was the center of attention. If someone in a public space says "don't worry about me" you don't push it then and there. Depending on the situation, your relationship, and how it was said you can ignore it, change the subject if you think the conversation is the issue, keep an eye on the person, or offer to help if anything is needed, but you don't keep pushing for a response. You don't know why they're being quiet, just that they are. Later, in private, you can ask if anything you were doing/saying was a problem or if you can help with anything. I don't blame OP for stating the truth after Jack kept pushing him to respond.
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Look, everyone has their own experience, history, etc. that colors their reaction. But my friends and co-workers make way more money than I do and have contacts I could never have and I love hearing about the adventures. Am I jealous? Sure. But that's my issue and situation, not their's. Aside from just being happy for them that they get to travel, hearing their stories is probably the only and closest personal travel experiences I may get to have. So, I appreciate them. YMMV, obviously, but if someone's not an a*****e about their wealth and/or opportunities then I don't get hating on them.
Jack sounds like a "place dropper" to me. I've known well traveled people that manage to work it into every one of their conversations, not unlike name droppers that never miss a chance to let you know that they have or had a personal connection to some well known celebrity.
It’s a way of showing off how rich they are to the peasants who actually had to work to get where they are, instead of Daddy calling in a favor to get them their job right out of the frat/sorority house. I have worked around way too many of those a******s, and been passed over for promotions, after years with a company and even being recognized for my work, for jobs I could’ve done in my sleep, in favor of someone’s son/daughter who just graduated. The little darling comes in, making way more money than the job actually pays, and proceeds to royally f**k everything up before being kicked upstairs to a higher position and even more money. Guess who was left to clean up their mess—-and STILL not promoted? Some of us don’t have wealth to give us such charmed lives and fake success. It’s always way easier to hit a home run when you’re allowed to start on third base.
Load More Replies... OP has a bit of a chip on his shoulder. I grew up very poor and I had to work doubly hard to get anywhere so I understand the frustration if you compare yourself to someone who had a silver spoon. But the only person you should be comparing yourself to.. is yourself. The person you came from, the person you are and the person you want to be.
OP didn't say anything rude until Jack kept pushing him on it. He was letting others ask questions and the topic continue. Jack was the one who wouldn't let OP sit and quietly sip his drink while Jack was the center of attention. If someone in a public space says "don't worry about me" you don't push it then and there. Depending on the situation, your relationship, and how it was said you can ignore it, change the subject if you think the conversation is the issue, keep an eye on the person, or offer to help if anything is needed, but you don't keep pushing for a response. You don't know why they're being quiet, just that they are. Later, in private, you can ask if anything you were doing/saying was a problem or if you can help with anything. I don't blame OP for stating the truth after Jack kept pushing him to respond.
Load More Replies... Look, everyone has their own experience, history, etc. that colors their reaction. But my friends and co-workers make way more money than I do and have contacts I could never have and I love hearing about the adventures. Am I jealous? Sure. But that's my issue and situation, not their's. Aside from just being happy for them that they get to travel, hearing their stories is probably the only and closest personal travel experiences I may get to have. So, I appreciate them. YMMV, obviously, but if someone's not an a*****e about their wealth and/or opportunities then I don't get hating on them.
Jack sounds like a "place dropper" to me. I've known well traveled people that manage to work it into every one of their conversations, not unlike name droppers that never miss a chance to let you know that they have or had a personal connection to some well known celebrity.
It’s a way of showing off how rich they are to the peasants who actually had to work to get where they are, instead of Daddy calling in a favor to get them their job right out of the frat/sorority house. I have worked around way too many of those a******s, and been passed over for promotions, after years with a company and even being recognized for my work, for jobs I could’ve done in my sleep, in favor of someone’s son/daughter who just graduated. The little darling comes in, making way more money than the job actually pays, and proceeds to royally f**k everything up before being kicked upstairs to a higher position and even more money. Guess who was left to clean up their mess—-and STILL not promoted? Some of us don’t have wealth to give us such charmed lives and fake success. It’s always way easier to hit a home run when you’re allowed to start on third base.
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