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The Married Kama Sutra describes itself as the world's least erotic manual. However, while the volume isn't quite sexy, it's absolutely hilarious. Created by Simon Rich and Farley Katz, the book explores how the kids, the dishwasher, and other nuisances transform a couple's sex life.

And it's about time the Kama Sutra got an update! Don't get me wrong, the old guide to the "art-of-loving" is fine and all, but modern society needs something more... up to date. Complete with four-color, full-page illustrations in the style of the original, but with modern, domestic accouterments, here are the poses, positions, and games married lovers play nowadays to keep the spark alive.

More info: Amazon | Follow Farley Katz on Instagram

#1

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Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

boredpandana
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol, but look how at peace she is

Metalmesh
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman-“oh,well” Man-“Dammit!” Teddy-bear - “Derp”

Why?
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congress is not in session!

Ján Danczi
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

inaccurate , not because there is a blanket missing, but the guy would have a raging boner, but he does not in the drawing :D

Gwyn Plaine
Community Member
6 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

lol that man's pot belly laying next to his perfectly healthy & trim wife ...... coz women don't get fat!!!!!!!

"Simon and I met on the Harvard Lampoon comedy magazine," Farley Katz told Bored Panda. The undergraduate humor publication was founded all the way back in 1876, and for some time Rich was even its president.

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    #2

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    chi-wei shen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This position is not limited to Indian food.

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worth it - I love Indian food!

    Tammy Hornback
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is also called the Golden Corral

    Why?
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also known as "Belching All the While."

    Francis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh yes! i love this position

    Even though the Kama Sutra is the oldest surviving Hindu text on erotic love, the original composition date or century is unknown. Historians place it somewhere between 400 BCE and 300 CE.

    Vatsyayana Mallanaga is its widely accepted author because his name is embedded in the colophon verse, however, little is known about him.

    #3

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband often changes what I do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Tambot
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine too... at the end of the day, I guess it shows he cares about cleanliness somewhere in the house

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    Veronique Gagne
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do that to my long-term boyfriend who has a dishwasher for longer than I do. And I MUST go and rearrange everything after him cause other wise, some stuff will melt or never get cleaned... But I love him and say nothing

    M.J.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they always do it wrong!

    Marlene Ricker
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this one. I have to admit I have a way of putting in the dishes that you violate at your own risk!

    KT Trondsen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ugh just let him do it his way, don't have to control everything

    BigCityLady
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s me, coming up behind my husband...I have never understood his d/w technique. I just know they don’t come out clean!

    Warawk
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, its womansplaining

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    The Married Kama Sutra would probably make a good wedding or anniversary gift. The authors managed to write down all the things the rest of us only think about without sacrificing their charm. "It's a lighthearted, fun romp through the crippling realities of commitment," Katz said.

    #4

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Kjorn
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same thing for me but about kids. when i heard trouble kids and so happy it's not mine :-)

    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or simply looking at each other with really wide eyes and both thinking, at the exact same time, that they’re really happy to be married to each other and not one of the Battling Bickersons (old radio show reference).

    #5

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also known as “Me Time”, and much deserved.

    Ann McNeil
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does she have a sea serpent for a leg? What is that?

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two legs - one bent leg and one straight leg where we can see the toes.

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    Ladislav Pollo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wine in the box?! Is this some peasant think that I dont understand?

    NMN
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe it's a thing there where those two guys are from. In US they have wine in cans and even cardboard boxes, I think it's hilarious, my mom plainly refuse to have that sort of thing when she goes to US.

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    #6

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “To sleep – perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub…”

    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Correction: “the sweet release of [uninterrupted] sleep”.

    Jenn Unicorn Popping
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG...my LIFE is a "Waltz of the Sloths"... :)

    #7

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    NCC~1701
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is my mom when my dad’s twelve years old sneakers are literally showing his socks but he insists “no it’s fine, besides, they’re my comfiest ones”.

    Marlene Ricker
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I totally understand your Dad's position. Often the oldest shoes ARE the comfiest!

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    Aubrie Allen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I met my boyfriend he only owned 2 pairs of underwear and he thought that was just fine.

    ZombieGirl
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband went shoe shopping tonight after work because he has been complaining for months about his sore feet.....he came home wearing his new shoes and said "I don't really like them but they will do." I asked why he doesnt like them and he said "well, they are too small and hurt my feet." .......*sigh*

    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Followed by the man either not wearing the new clothes at all. Or, like my husband, using the nice thick cotton Calvin Klein tees I bought him to wear—-as casual shirts/layers with jeans—-as undershirts worn under his work shirts. To be discovered, damp and stinking with yellowed pit stains, in the laundry hamper. They were outerwear, not underwear!

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    #8

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or the acceptance of digestion

    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine blames it on the dog—-who does fart copiously but only silent but deadlies, not loud rips.

    Meami
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When the woman, in turn, passes gas in front of the man, without so much as an apology, it is called "the revenge"

    #9

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with Ana, just imagine if it were the other way around. That’s breakup material right there. Also, pedo s**t.

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend's husband always eyes up other women around her - he's blatant! Don't know how she puts up with it. Whoever does it, it's not at all respectful. I agree with you both!

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    Veronique Gagne
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That feels like a real story... Ouch

    Leslie Burleson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ew gross ... I would NOT be checking out a teenager

    Matt O'Quinn
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no it's called the wounded teenager

    Layla Corman
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Maybe the woman is just sick and tired of asking over and over, getting different and ridiculous excuses.

    Matt O'Quinn
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    In response to LAyla Corman no it's called the annoying b***h wife.

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    #10

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Tammy Hornback
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Self Congress It sounds so plausable

    St. John
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Yes. But the strange part is the question "Really?". Because - if you wont have interaction with your husband, how else he should get over it? Cheating?

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    Jus
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would break my heart. Really.

    Emerald Joanna
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would be more concerned about the fact he disturbed my sleep!

    Marlene Ricker
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would be furious with a man who did this!

    Matt O'Quinn
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is called " I know you have no interest"

    Sarabelle Palsy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My spouse just assumes that I've done this while they were asleep in bed next to me and I've never done it... but apparently they've woken up to me groaning before thinking I was doing this... but it turns out that I was having those dreams where I was playing tennis or some stupid c**p. I mean, if you want to do it, go for it, that's what I'm always told by the spouse... but I just like privacy lol.

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    #11

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the sister in grey brandishing the turkey leg like a club.

    Veronique Gagne
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems like you've been trough some stuff man... :-(

    Matt O'Quinn
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "the f**k your relatives I'm going to get drunk and jerk off"

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    #12

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    natie marie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to do this incessantly to my old housemate. But now my boyfriend is tidyer than I am and I call this position The Turning of the Tables

    Janis Wise
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alas, I’m not subtle enough for that position!

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    Keith Wollenberg
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is it called when the woman is cleaning, but the man sits on the couch to indicate that she, too, should be resting?

    Matt O'Quinn
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "the you decided to clean while I'm decompressing so deal with it"

    Soggy Crumpet
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This never works. Go for the more direct approach of actually asking. Subtlety is lost on most men.

    Tammy Hornback
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Natie Marie your comment would be even funnier with #14

    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband is pretty tidy, but I remember past boyfriends on whose heads I actually dumped all their dirty clothes, to let them know they were doing their own damn laundry from that moment on. Same thing with sweeping all the dust and dirt on the floor right onto their feet. You’re supposed to be an adult, not a child, so you can get your a*s off the couch and join me in cleaning the house!

    #13

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Bobby's Girl
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When no one understands a cartoon's caption, it is called.... huh? Oh! Do you think it is supposed to read "bangs" instead of bands?

    Ann McNeil
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh now- I'll bet that's what it means- she certainly does have rather noticeable bangs ....

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    Ann McNeil
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Returns home with bands"? What does that mean? (honestly - I don't ...

    Backtotheislands
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe she went out to the clubs?? She knew he wouldn't know the difference if she got her hair done or not, so she used the time to go party?

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    #14

    The-Married-Kama-Sutra-Illustrations-Simon-Rich-Farley-Katz

    Simon Rich and Farley Katz Report

    Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my wife comes in and I quickly close the lap top and she asks what I was looking at, I say it's porn because I'm too embarrassed to admit I was looking at funny kitten videos on YouTube.

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw, I expect your wife would adore you for it!

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    Cori
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The facial expressions are the best part!

    Tina Laskey
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I loved all of these and it made me think of my own funny situations. I wrote and drew four of them and sent them off to my friends.

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