Family Drama Ensues As These Parents Gifted Their Older Son A Car On His 18th Birthday But Disappointed The Younger One When He Turned 18
Interview With AuthorHaving a family is great. You get to explore life with the people you love the most, knowing that they’ll always be right by your side. It provides you with unconditional support and guarantees your mental well-being. Of course, there might be a few disagreements along the way, but you know that you can absolutely rely on them no matter what.
Now, that’s a best-case scenario. Many folks struggle with toxic families that don’t follow the standard norm of a healthy relationship and choose to exist in emotional chaos. The environment starts to feel almost unbearable and what is supposed to be a home becomes a simple residential building.
This online user took it to one of Reddit’s famous communities to share his rather unfair story regarding his parents’ blatant display of favoritism towards their firstborn child. The post received nearly 13K upvotes and 1.6K worth of comments discussing the couple’s inexcusable behavior.
More info: Reddit
Having a big family is amazing, but only until your parents start to choose favorites
Image credits: daveynin (not the actual photo)
When choosing to have a big family, all parents know that it’s important to treat your kids equally. Having multiple children could potentially lead to some sort of unintentional favoritism – though usually, folks know that treating your offspring differently could lead to serious problems. However, it feels like this particular family is not so bothered by the feelings of their youngest son.
Family drama ensues after parents gifted their oldest son a car, but didn’t do the same for his sibling
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
The author begins his story with a little disclaimer. He explains that he knows how the title of the post truly sounds, though he asks the fellow Redditors to hear him out. The OP has an older brother who was lucky to get a car for his 18th birthday. It wasn’t a new vehicle nor it was something expensive – but it was in great condition. The sibling then revealed that his brother didn’t hesitate and teased him about the new addition for the rest of his senior year of high school.
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
To add some context, the author also mentions that in terms of grades and overall achievements, he was doing just as well as his older brother. Moreover, he used to volunteer and clean up garbage in their local area, so naturally, he was also expecting to receive a car as his 18th birthday gift. Of course, he didn’t want anything out of the ordinary – just a car that would get him around. But when the birthday finally came, the OP revealed that, frankly, it was nothing like the party his brother had.
Relatives supported the author when he decided to confront his parents
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
The sibling shared that his mother personally baked a cake for his brother’s birthday, whereas he was surprised with a supermarket sheet cake. The brother even had a DJ at his party, but the OP had his dad’s old boombox with a couple of mix CDs. Eventually the party was coming to an end and the author was hanging on his last thread of hope, thinking that his parents would surprise him in just a moment – however, that didn’t happen either. In the end, the OP decided that it was time to confront his parents and ask why he didn’t receive a vehicle, if his older brother did. His folks openly said they believe that their oldest worked much harder for it, but the author didn’t accept this odd answer and wondered what his sibling did that he didn’t.
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
Luckily for the author, his grandmother was nearby and managed to hear this unpleasant conversation. The woman didn’t think twice and started voicing her utter disappointment about this whole favoritism situation. The conversation eventually turned into an actual family conflict, so the author decided that it’d be best to go and think about it in his room. Later on, the sibling shared that he had actually gotten a few phone calls from relatives saying how sorry they were and that his birthday was finished with an evening outing with his grandparents.
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
However, once the author came back home, his parents were pretty furious and told him that he had humiliated them in front of the whole family. The next few weeks were spent in complete silence, though the surprise was yet to come. One day, the parents gifted their youngest son that long-awaited car, yet the gift was practically thrown at him and given without any sort of enthusiasm. Naturally, the author felt horrible about it, as it seemed that he’d purely blackmailed his family into getting him that vehicle.
The author edited the post to address a few things and explain his situation more thoroughly
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
Once the post started getting some feedback from all the users, the author decided to edit it to debunk some speculation. The OP revealed that his parents make pretty good money and as far as he’s aware, the only thing that affects their finances is his older brother’s college tuition, though he has a partial scholarship. The sibling then goes to share that his intentions are completely opposite to his brother’s and that he plans to fully sponsor his own college education.
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
The sibling also shared that the reason behind the favoritism isn’t due to gender. He also added that his car cost his parents $1600, whereas his brother’s car was a whopping $3000. Additionally, he mentioned that he did talk about getting a car a few times prior to his birthday, but because his folks always dodged the conversations, he decided to stop talking about it all together.
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
In addition, Bored Panda managed to reach out to the author to find out a little more about the relationship within the family. We asked the OP to describe what kind of bond he has with his older brother, to which he replied: “my brother… I almost don’t even have a relationship with him. He was nice to me when we were kids. But he got meaner as he got older. And my parents put their focus on him. And that only stroked his ego. After he left for college he changed a little. Wasn’t so cocky and arrogant towards me. He wasn’t anything towards me really. Was practically a robot that only said a few words.”
The OP thanked his parents for the long-awaited gift but they didn’t seem to be enthusiastic about it
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
BP then wondered if the author could remember when the environment in the family started to change and the OP said: “as kids, my parents started out treating my brother and I equally. I wanna say it was around the time I was 10 that it started to change. From there, the rest is pretty obvious.” We then asked the author to elaborate on his relatives’ reaction to this event – “It was a borderline intervention that I wasn’t present for. And my parents tried to blame me for it. After that, my grandma told me that a good portion of the family was calling, texting, emailing, messaging, basically any form of communication my parents used.”
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
“And they used it to let them know exactly what they thought of them for weeks. And then it ended up not just being relatives too. But other people we know. My parents got me a car to try and save their own reputations. It didn’t really work, though, as they’ve been called out on that too. The only thing that’s even remotely gone their way is the family has mostly settled down now. But I have a feeling it’s not over.” The author also added: “my parents still barely speak to me. And I think they are just waiting for me to leave for college. My grandma says they’ll never go to family counseling because they’d get savaged again. So they are basically just laying low and waiting for this all to blow over.”
Image credits: cheezit-bit-boi
We are taught that family is everything, we are expected to forgive and forget just because we’re blood. It’s believed that we should be grateful for whatever we get – yet, this story proves that just because it’s family, it doesn’t mean that it’s not toxic. What do you think about this situation?
1.3Mviews
Share on FacebookThese parents are on their best way to remaining alone in a few years, without any of the kids paying them a visit. The spoiled, older one already doesn't give too much f**k about them, and this with years won't be better. The other, younger one will make his own way, and they'll "see" him max. at their funeral.
Agreed. It's just common sense when you have more than one kid. Parents were showing blatant favoritism and got called out on it.
Load More Replies...Use the car, get a job, set up your college/scholarship/student loans, move out, go make an excellent life, and don't bother with your parents or brother again. I'm getting a serious vibe of "we didn't want/plan the second child" so you're always treated as second best in everything. Even your brother seems to have relished being lorded over you in this situation. Not even a 'Happy Birthday" text or call from him? Cold. I don't think you'll find from this family anything you really need, the love, acceptance and respect that should be there simply isn't. Best to just move on and find people who celebrate you as much as anyone else. Best of luck.
Sounds like the parents think he is the accidental child! My mom had my older sister at age 19 and then me in 1962. And then surprise, surprise we had a third baby in the house. Never ever have my parents treated any of us 3 girls differently, no favouritism. We loved my folks accident and spoiled her gladly. She is still a great joy and i have a sense of gratitude for having her in my life.
Load More Replies...Your parents are assholes. Get out of there as fast as you can. You did nothing wrong.
Honestly I would get a job and pay my parents back for the car so they didn't have anything to hold over me and then move tf out. Mom, Dad you obviously didn't want to get me this car and didn't feel I deserved it and honestly I wouldn't have accepted it had I had any other way to get a job and pay for it myself as it wasn't given to me in the spirit of which a gift is intended so I'll give you the money, you give me the title and we can stop pretending this was ever anything other than an asset you felt shamed into giving me.
It's so gross that he'd have to pay then back when his brother didn't, but these parents feel like the type who will be calling this kid 20 years from now like 'remember when we got you that car?? So you need to do xyz for us'-- better to remove that obligation asap
Load More Replies...they bought the car because they were publicy shamed, use them for food and housing until you can move out and then cut them out of your life.
Yeah seems like it is, if hadn't his grandma interfere they wouldn't give him the car. Sad honestly bc what he asked is reasonable to me, i didnt live in US but i live in an area far from the city where it's hard to get public transportation (and not convenient) so it'll be very limiting if we dont have our own vehicle
Load More Replies...I can understand if they didn't have the money (even if it's because it is used for the brother's tuition) and it's their right to make gifting decisions as parents, but the thing that gets me with this story is that they couldn't be honest about it. 'Your brother worked harder for it' is a trashy excuse that takes the fault/responsibility off the parents and puts it on the OP, without ever having given the OP the specific expectations or requirements for 'working hard' in advance. These parents will find themselves ostracized from the whole family and still blame it on their son and not their own choices. Yuck.
I'm really happy he has the grandmother there so his self esteem isn't completely in the toilet. My my experienced growing up in a family where her brother was showered with lavish gifts. He was such a mommy's boy she kept buying everything for him, he lived with her all his life and kept the house when she died, and he's never had a real job. She just took care of him while my mom's been technically working since she was 12 (I count the babysitting that she did).
My parents had the same mindset. Younger sister was showered with expensive presents and I got nothing. Mother's exact words were ' I don't need you. I have another daughter. ' Fast forward - I got married and had two boys. Sister had no kids. Suddenly its 'Oh, Honey we love you!. Bring our grandchildren over." I said You didn't want me, therefore you don't have grandchildren. ' Parents have passed now and they never met my children. Poor planing on their part.
That's very hurtful to read, how can parents said that when they're the ones who chose to have sex and make the child(ren)? It doesn't makes sense 😤
Load More Replies...Maybe the parents favored the older son because he turned out just like them.. The younger one just had to go and become a decent human being. pfft.
I am the oldest by 7 years. On my 18th, I got a 14 year old car and kicked out of the house. On my brother's 18th, he got a trip to Jamaica and a brand new sports car.
Wow that's messed up. I hope you are thriving without them now.
Load More Replies...I have five brothers who all received cars for their 18th birthdays. I came home on my birthday (I lived independently and was in uni at that time). There were no presents because no one was expecting me. I went with the family to my grandmother's house, thinking I would be a nice surprise. I was told off because I had not been invited. I later received a second had ring with someone else's initials on it.
That really stinks. I'm guessing family reunions aren't in your future and I don't blame you one bit.
Load More Replies...Get a job, finish your college, move out and never come back. If you get a new car somewhere along the way, leave the old subaru at your parents' door and the keys on their table with a "Thanks for everything" message. Don't you ever look back. WTH!
No. Sell the Subaru, & use the money to pay for therapy! He owes those creeps NOTHING.
Load More Replies...So, I can totally relate. My situation is actually much worse but I know how you feel. My sister is in Federal prison and gets treated better than I do, she always has. My sister has nothing....has never had a job, no college, gave up her kids and is doing 20 years for drug trafficking....but what she wants she still gets. I could rant about it all day. It's an extremely hurtful situation and I feel horrible for you. I will say this....speak up now and don't back down. If you don't stand your ground it will never change....even your children will be treated differently. Trust me...I know. Don't base your value or self-worth on any of it....they're the problem not you. Also, I'm proud of you for saying something. That's hard to do. You have nothing to prove. Just be someone you are proud of. That's all that matters.
I know what that feels like. In my country, driving licences are expensive and my siblings got theirs paid for by our genetic donors. Me? Not a dime and from that day, I was "lucky" if they even called. I don't count.
Same. When my father told my siblings he'd go with them in getting their licenses, I chimed in saying I want to get mine too. He just laughed at me. I was so hurt. But now I managed to get mine by myself.
Load More Replies...I am so sorry you had to endure that. That was wrong on so many levels. I know I am not the perfect parent but I've always tried to be fair. Granted there are times that one child got something "better" than another but because of the way they earned it or just dumb luck. For example. My Oldest and Youngest get kind of shafted with stuff sometimes because Youngest is right before Christmas and Oldest is right after. When I was a single mom it was hard to always make ends meet. Parties weren't always a thing due to bills. But I ALWAYS tried to make their special days special in some way. Our tradition was I'd take them out of school or let them stay home and I'd take them to lunch and a movie. 1 on 1 time. But if you buy a car for one you should definitely buy for the other (rest) UNLESS the other child absolutely did not earn the privilege's. (barely passing, not doing chores or whatever the household agreement is) But if both are on even (ish) ground there's no reason.
My parents always tried to even things out fiscally. Like my sister loved makeup and clothes, but I was into video games. So my sister would get like 15 presents for Christmas and I would only get 1 or 2 because mine were more expensive. I was okay with that. I actually had to tell my mom I was okay with combining my Christmas and birthday present so I could get a video game console I wanted. I made her cry one Christmas because I said she could return my clothes and other presents and they could use the money for something else. It took many years and conversations for all of us to understand each other. My mom loves giving gifts. Cards, flowers, things like that. And I think they are a waste of money. Save your $4 for my card and add those up to buy me a microwave or something I actually need.
Load More Replies...I have 3 children 18F, 14M 11M. Can't imagine having favourites. They are all very different, but amazing in their own way. I just can't fathom treating one better/ worse than the rest
Exactly! I was only Blessed with one precious child. Had I been fortunate enough to have more, I would have Loved then EQUALLY, & valued each equally, & treated them all fairly. You are doing it RIGHT. Well done. God bless you & your family. 💗 And, God bless this young man. ❤️
Load More Replies...I was thinking that as well. Maybe mom had an affair and his real parentage came out when he was 10. It wouldn't be the first time.
Load More Replies...This behavior will get worse now that you're over 18. You'll notice your brother and his partner will get better treatment. You'll notice his kids will always get toys. They're doing the bare minimum because you were under 18, once you're an adult and it's social acceptable to make their kids take care of themselves theyll always choose him.
How these parents acted was really appalling. You don't favor one child over the other. You treat them the same. The parents are the ones being brats. Giving their son the silent treatment is uncalled for and childish. The author did nothing wrong. With how these parents are treating their son, they should not be surprised if the son isn't there for them when their time of need comes. Screw them. He would be better served to move out when he can and lead his own life without them. He deserves much better. His parents deserve to be alone. They don't deserve to be called Mom and Dad.
Well said. ❤️ I agree, absolutely, with everything you articulated so well.
Load More Replies...Parents really hate being embarrassed in front of family. My family also celebrates everyone's birthday. One time we go to my aunt's Birthday, and I had to leave my gf at home (mom said this is just a family thing. I'm in my 30's, had been with my gf for a few years, and my younger cousins bring their partners all the time). Anyways, I went to the party, and after a few minutes of conversation and pizza, both my grandmother and one of my aunts asked me "where is Erin today"? That was embarrassing, because they asked loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Everyone looking at me I said, "I was kinda told not to bring anybody". That got awkward fast. People just start looking at my mother. Grandma says, "well that is ridiculous" and aunt Wendy says "We like Erin". Grandma is oldschool no nonsense. She was visibly annoyed, and made a to-go bag full of pizza cake and cookies for me to take back to Erin. Mom didn't talk to me for weeks. The gf was happy with me though :)
It wasn't a parent, but a SIL who basically trapped my brother. She was furious that another brother & his wife invited my hubby & I to a fund-raising event. She was livid! She hated my husband, felt I was a spoiled brat & she did not even know us! That was over 30 years ago. Her feelings haven't changed. I tolerate her for my mom's sake & my hubby just ignores her. My parents welcomed my hubby with open arms. Daddy treated him as a son. I loved watching them together. I know I picked a good man. And I won't let anyone belittle him without letting them know Daddy actually LOVED him, so there!!
Load More Replies...Divorce your parents and brother. Make a happy life for yourself and move as far as you can as soon as you can. Enjoy the rest of your life by being your own family until you meet the person for you. In the meantime, pave your own way. My daughter asked me one day( she was about 11 ) do I have to love my family? I said you had no choice to be in this family, so, no you don't have to love everyone in your family. But you do get to pick your friends. So choose wisely and love your friends that you feel close to.
Been there brother. Move out and get as far away as you can. Don’t ever look back. Toxic DNA is the worst kind of relations you can have. Worked my way thru college and grad school, moved across country and was very successful. You do the same…it pisses them off.
Nothing pisses them off more than being proven unnecessary.
Load More Replies...I say just go do what you plan to do. Get your job, go to school and in a couple years of not talking to them, just write a check for however much the car was plus the insurance they paid for and mail it to your parents. Bet your older brother won't do that
From experience, I know that writing a check to pay his parents back is not going to garnish the reaction you’re hoping for….especially from HIS parents. He should not send his parents a dime for anything. As for the, “bet you’re older brother wouldn’t do it” comment, of course his older brother wouldn’t do it. His older brother is the golden child and there is nothing he can do, including paying his parents back, that will turn their eyes away from their golden child.
Load More Replies...This poor guy. His parents obviously love the other one more. I hope he finds an amazing partner and lives a fantastic life and doesn't look back.
YUP!!! My "family" is mostly like 8-10 friends. Friends who have been with my hubby & I for the last 4 years or so, we went through a horrible time in '18 & lost basically everyone in our circle. But we love the "family" we pieced together. If we find others who fit, we might add them in. :)
Load More Replies...Its the reverse for me. 100%. I was the older child and my sister the youngest. I was treated like the black sheep and my sister wasn't. My mother tried to help me in my situations, but I was always told to find a way, and they would bail my sister out for anything that happened. I've let it go...I made my own way. Bought a house, got married( basically paid for my own wedding because they did not want to help her parents helped with half, my parents gave me ,400 bucks for flowers.) In the long run, the only thing you can't count on is yourself and no one else. Make your own way and be proud of the things you accomplish. I've done these things and going on 6th year of being away and owning my house, my parents have never seen me one time.
My parents bought my older sister a classic 1955 Buick when she graduated high school. I was hoping for a car but my Japanese mom said I didn't deserve one. My uncle tried to give me a car and my parents made a big stink. He would let me drive it when I needed to get somewhere and didn't have a ride. My parents didn't like that either. I had a full scholarship to a nearby university but gave it up to move to another state. My sister was always the perfect one. I heard, "why can't you be more like your sister" for most of my life. I moved away, got a job, bought a car, and went to college all on my own.
Make sure you get therapy, too. Sometimes I think parents crush a child of their choosing so that they have someone to take care of them when they're older. The child tries to prove their love to the parents by being their slave in order to receive love back. It never works.
Load More Replies...Why is everyone telling this kid that he owes his parents??? It's freaking absurd! That is his car~~he EARNED it through hard work and even more dedication than his brother provided. Enough of trying to get the kid to believe he isn't good enough~~HE IS!
Load More Replies...Karma is coming for those parents. Their firstborn favorite is going to abandon them in their golden years when they need help and I hope their secondborn does the same, but he sounds like he probably won't. I feel bad for him and ONLY him...
As the youngest in the family, was told when I graduated HS, that I was unplanned but they raised me anyway. Oldest sent to college, I was told to get a job. Oldest's birthday received a very nice gift, 2nd received a card with money, and I just received a card. Yes, favoritism is alive in many families.
Mine was reversed. I am the youngest of 7 in a farming family that struggled to make ends meet at times. Eldest sister was livid when she got pregnant at 16 & was told to "marry & move out". There was still 5 children under 12 at home! I was but a toddler! There was only 1 of my 4 brothers in the home when I hit HS. Mom & Dad had more time & money. Mostly cause only 2 kids not 7 at home! I am still referred to as "the spoiled baby". Right. I was the one who stayed out of big trouble, like getting pregnant or an alcoholic druggie at 16 as my sisters did. Stay close to home to help around the ranch & my mom's parents. I strove to never disappoint my parents, I hated the look they'd give. I earned what I got by not being "a worry/problem" & above all respecting our parents, in spite of any of their "failures or shortcomings". To me, I always saw them trying. But I guess my sisters only saw flaws. And that is THEIR LOSS.
Load More Replies...I think the guy handled the situation in a fair and mature way. His parents begrudgingly corrected their mistake but still blamed him for calling them out for it. He is fortunate that his grandparents see what is happening and try to point that out to his parents. Hope he appreciates them and keeps a close relationship. His parents will probably always favor the older child.
Obviously I don't know you but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I have a feeling you will be extremely successful because you know how to speak up for yourself. Bravo! I would be proud to have you as a child.
You op will grow, strive and become a decent human being. Stay strong and like all others have advised...leave the toxic behind. Move forward, don't look back! I am wishing for you a healthy and profitable life
Weird how this favourite child thing alway blows up in their faces. The favoured child always turns into an underachieving, unmotivated brat mooching of the parents till the end, while the ‘Cinderella’ child find there way to self sufficiently, independence, and even success, after their parents salty/unfair treatment.
It hurts when your parents play obvious favorites with your siblings. These will also be the same parents that will constantly complain because he won't visit them anymore - once he can, he will be as far away from them as possible. They made their bed, now let the other brother help them lay in it
Wow, someone nominate those heartless jerks for Parents of the Year.
Dude, this kid seems like a great fucken kid. He's got his head on straight. He understands his privilege. He did everything right and his parents clearly played favorites. I would be so proud to have a kid like this. Seriously. If I ever have a son. I hope he is as respectful, smart, kind & considerate as this young man. They should feel fucken blessed that this is their kid. Idk how two inconsiderate assholes raised such a great kid. But I'm willing to be that the rest of the family had more to do with it than the parents. I'm happy he atleast has a family that supports him and sees the truth of it all. I'm the youngest child. I'm also the only girl. So I was treated different as is. But my mother ALWAYS played favorites with both my brothers over me. N it hurt. So I know how it feels. Luckily my dad and I were always really close n that made up for it. But this kid seems to have gotten the s**t end of the stick with both parents.
I don’t mean to sound old fashioned or heartless, but this is why you don’t buy cars as a graduation gift.
Load More Replies...The parents gave him the car but made sure that it was as joyless as possible for him. I suspect, now that the golden child is in college and they are paying for that, they don’t have the disposable income they once did and the first thing they cut was anything for OP. I think OP realizes that golden child is going to get his college paid for but there won’t be anything left for him. It’s loans and maybe an appeal to the grandparents. I feel sorry for him- no one in the family is able to spackle over the fact that his parents have a favourite and it isn’t him.
I shared this story in part on another story. My brother was 10 years older than me. Grandfather bought him a new 1957 Chevy the day before they were to be released to the general public. Several years later Grandfather bought my sister acsecond-hand car of her choice (she had 2 kids at the time and her husband was in the Navy overseas). GrandPa died and when I got my license, Grandmother gave me a bank savings account with $10 in it. Was it upsetting? Yes. Did I survive? Absolutely. And our "kids" and grandkids are treated equally when gifting and with unconditional love, always. You can't change the past, but you don't have to repeat it in the present (or beyond).
That isn't favoritism but rather your family's situation changed. I wouldn't be upset over that either. It's apples and oranges from this young man's story.
Load More Replies...I went through the same thing I had an allowance of 5.00 a week back then it wasn't bad but my brother who was 5 yrs younger got 15 and a truck. My older brother was in sports so of course HE had to have the best shoes. I had to work at 14 to buy school clothes. When my dad past I could be a witness to his will he left some to my mom when she should have gotten everything. Brothers and even my ex SIL was given money but then I found out my dad was REALLY close to her. Good thing is I didn't shed a tear over him and still hate him so I don't miss him at al. My advice to you is save your money from your job and get out of that house as soon as possible. Your parents are not going to change, they may act like it to your face but behind your back they won't.
I agree with him 100% You should never show any kind of favoritism towards your children. My fiance is messed up for this very reason. I was gifted a family car by my father my junior year of high school. I then within a year wrecked it once and ripped the bottom of the transmission off jumping a pair of railroad tracks in my hometown. To be fair I always wanted to do it since I was 7, Dukes of Hazzard style. It wasn't epic like that instead, I had to ride the school bus for a month as a senior. Weeks later my dad got me another used car. I rode that thing till the wheels fell off with 190k on it. I then failed to go to college worked horrid menial jobs until I was 35. My little brother on the other hand went through 3 years of college, got my grandma's car finished his degree and went on to bigger and better things than I did when I was his age. He has purchased his own past two vehicles. I purchased my very first the year I went to college. So, my little bro taught me.
Such blatant favoritism. Never favor one child. If you can't help feeling it, you keep that s**t to yourself and don't let your actions show it. It will affect a child their whole life. I see how it affected my husband and it's heartbreaking.
Wow! These parents to quit deflecting their screw ups on this kid before they end up lonely parents wondering why their kids dont visit. The oldest is already showing that. But OP they ate toxic and you seem like you may ve better have at arms length of this relationship. My dad did the same with me and my bro. I am female and he is male. I am the oldest and he the youngest but yet my dad literally cleaned every mess he made until he was 30 and left me to figure stuff out on my own when i needed him the most. Best thing i did for me and my fam was quit that toxic cycle
If I did this with socks there would be war. Treat them the same, or else you're a prick.
I know what your going through. Family is to stick together always. But I walked away in 2016 and never looked back. There is 5 of us Im second oldest. Ive loaned money to some never got it back. Helped when asked. Gave money to my Mom to support us...worked hard for my first car..a new 1978 camaro I bought and paid for. I took nothing from anyone...at family get togethers I was picked on for anything and always.. I took it for years, now no more. They can all go to hell! I dont need that type of evil in my life. Make your life be happy for where you are and going.. Make a life you can be proud of. Family is not always the answer. Some of us just don't get that family. Walking away is best for all. Save up buy a car take the other one back put the keys in an envelope and put it in their mail box. Or put money they paid for the car and insurance in an envelope with a note: thanks for the help. Your family will never be what you would like. You'll be fine!
I feel for you, my brother 3 years younger than I and was diagnosed with major depression at 6 my parents divorced a year later and they both did everything they could for him. For me, my grandmother did as much as she could. I always wanted to be a daddy's girl only my dad had his son and that's what mattered. My dad is now suffering from Lewy Body Dementia and he asked the same question everytime I would call. "Have you heard from your brother" And I had accepted that that was how it would always be. But its not, my Dad remembers me now and doesn't ask about my brother now nearly as often. His long term memories are what he has. He calls me with questions and movies, music and most of the time I can get what it is trying to remember.
Reading ur story made me sad. U r just as deserving of love and fair treatment as your brother. Your parents are obviously making a mistake and mistreating you. Family drama is hard. I have had my share of it. The best piece of advice I can give is to give your time and love to the people who really care about u and just focus on them and dont worry too much about the rest. Relationships are a two way street. I hope you find a great job and do well for yourself. Be sure to always stand up for yourself.
I'm the oldest (1st born) and female and have a brother 6 yrs younger. My mother worships the ground he walks on and even has said to my face he's her favorite. This MAN is 38yrs old and never lifts a finger to even wash his own dish. He gets coddled while I get criticized and called names. The first born isn't always the favorite but in my case it's cause I'm female
I got the same treatment. My brother received several cars, my sister got a new car for college, I got, "Pay us room and board." When my parents were old and sick, who showed up to take care of them? Me.
I have a friend who was the younger brother and clearly the favorite. His wife was never good enough for them. He ended up writing them out of his life. Only the older, not-favorite son keeps in contact. And usually they ask about the other brother. So basically they've managed to estrange both sons. Sadly it doesn't sound like that's what is happening here. More like the older brother is the entitled a** his parents groomed him to be.
Ya literally had the exact same situation but it wasn't even my parents money, it was my grandparents money who are literally dirt poor from an ex soviet country and i dont even know how they saved up enough money for me and my sister to get cars. My mom never told me how much money it was but my grandmother assured me it would be enough for both of us to get a car. My sister got a used passat for 10k, this was back in like 2005 and a new civic was 12k. When I got my license I was told that I would be getting our old 1991 vw Eurovan that was falling apart, it was literally worth more as scrap metal. Never even got answere why when I asked where the money went and pointed out this wasn't even their money and it was meant for a specific purpose. And just for context my sister moved out to live with her boyfriend at 17 and even though there was legitimate reasons for this it was infuriating when I went straight to college from high school.
Y’all sound stupid. Kids get treated differently. So what he didn’t get a car. You are in different financial places they had a kid in college at that point. And we don’t know if this kid was bad. You just take his word that he isn’t a butthead. I have a big family we all got treated differently be cause we were all different with different needs. I got cars but my siblings didn’t. But I had to pay them back. I was just more responsible. I always paid them back and worked around the house. I washed the cars. I took care of my parents my other brothers and sister just are not like that. Great kids but just not overly giving like me. And that’s fine. I got some crappy presents too. But I’d rather watch my brothers get treated better than me every day than to have some weird resentment for my parents ever. I still spoil them. Who cares about what they give you or do for you. You people are really mean.
Ridiculous! Your parents didn’t owe you a car. No two children are the same; similarity in grades in no way means similarity in attitude. Finally, if you are considering following the advice of these commenters and abandoning your parents over a used car…. My advise, choose your family over a car. Oh and grow up.
I think you should attend to your own all too obvious issues before judging others. As to your bizarre take on this can l suggest a night class in reading comprehension as you clearly and wilfully misinterpret words.
Load More Replies...They should have gotten him a car. It would be different if they didn't have the money. Sounds like the older kid wasn't very grateful but the younger would have been grateful. You can't do for one without the other. If I was the kid, I would take the car, get a job and pay them back the money since they are being nasty about it.
I'm sorry that such a monumental birthday was pretty much ruined for you. You are a good kid and did absolutely nothing wrong. Get your pt job, go to college and be a great success for yourself. You deserve it.
You did nothing wrong. But don't forget, you have a Subaru! Not just a Lexus... ;)
To be honest you pulled a d**k move. My sister got a car for her 19th Birthday. When I was a senior in high school I was wishing for a car and actually thought they bought me one cause a neighbor bought a used car and left it parked on the street for 2 months. Turns out my parent just bought me a PS4 game lol. I had to buy my own car after 3 years of saving up. For the first 3 years of college I would wake up early drop my parents(alternating) to work and take their car to school. Then pick them back up 2or 3 hours after school. I understand that life is not fair and there are different circumstances to situations. In our case, our parents now have to pay for our siblings school and other things that are unknown to us.
I have children. They each have their own personalities, wants and needs. The author assumes he knows how much money his parents have. I read about a car and birthday parties. He was able to obtain his car by confronting his parents during his birthday party in the presence of family members. That whole "I tried to be discreet" is just a bunch of passive aggressive dribble. It caused a rift in the family. He gets to look put upon and his parents made to look like the bad guys. The same parents who raised and supported him until he could take care of himself. There's nothing in the article that mentioned he was physically or verbally abused. If he wanted a car for his birthday, he could have asked. Instead he made a bunch of assumptions and was disappointed when his fantasy didn't come true. He wants to compare his relationship to his parents with his brother. He'll probably always compare himself with his brother. This isn't about the car, it's about his self-centeredness.
I grew up the youngest of 7. All my life I wore hand-me-downs, mostly from my brothers. My sisters trashed their clothes so I never wore a stitch of their clothes. When I was 3, my eldest sister got pregnant at 16. She was furious that my parents wouldn't allow her to stay in the family home. Cause Mom had her hands with kids (5 of us under 12) & helping Daddy run the ranch. We were NOT wealthy, actually pretty poor. My sisters were always a handful with partying. I grew up watching our parents disappointment. I stayed out of trouble, just never saw a reason to act out. My 2 sisters called me "the spoiled baby" to this day! I'm in my late 50s! No, I just tried hard not to disappoint them, that look would kill me. They're still bitter at my closeness with Mom & Dad. Since Dad passed in 2000, they have stopped being in touch with our Mom who is 94. pathetic
First of all I'm deeply sorry this is happening to you..I come from 3 children and I am the middle child and had to live through all this...almost identical...I often wondered if I was secretly adopted or the product of an affair cuz why else wud they treat one of their kids this way. Anyways I often heard myself from friends and family just get out of the house...the situation is toxic and you need to get away from it but they are your family and it still hurts. Always wondering what u did to not warrant the same attention and love. I got very sick and now I'm treated like a horrific burden...I constantly feel like I'm being kicked while I'm down. So I'm I have no amazing words of wisdom for you but I share your pain. The rest of your family seems very supportive so maybe that will eventually open your parents eyes to their behavior. Wishing u the best.
All children should be loved equally. What a shame shame shame on these parents. Poor kid. It was their choice to have more than one child!
Im wondering if the OP is a product of an affair or born around the time of an affair. There is clear resentment towards the OP and is classic to some marital trauma that happened when the recipient was young. These parents need serious therapy. Never take your issues out on your kids.
I have two older siblings I'm the last child and like the one that posted this I was treated differently
This is just sad. To put it mildly, his parents are complete jerks. I'm glad he has a grandmother who is willing to call his parents out for this and reassure him he didn't do anything wrong. At least thats some consolation. But his parents act like children in this situation. If there was a real, valid reason why they didn't give him the same treatment as his brother, they'd take him aside and explain to him instead of blaming him for "humiliating" them (i.e. bringing attention to what THEY did). My parents sucked, but at least they treated all of us kids equally horribly
Sounds like cutting ties to the parents asap would be a good idea. If they didn't care much for the younger son before the party then it definitely will be much worse now that they feel publicly shamed after. It's an unfortunate situation but probably for the best to distance from them at least for the time being. Maybe they can repair things down the line but I wouldn't count on that.
Being treated like crap basically all my life by family, I'd say disown the brother because like who cares. Regarding the parents, if you intend to go off to college, hopefully get an on-campus apartment (not sure how on-site campuses work tbh) if it's not too inconvenient, and ditch the parents. Thrive in your life and do what's best for you and watch the lot of them feel bad!
Sounds like a variation of my life, except my older sibling was my sister. There's only 2 of us and I'm the son. I won't list the issues, but 30 years later, I am over them. My sister grew to be a horrible narcissistic nut job who treated my parents and extended family horribly. And I spent way too much of my life trying to sort my family out in my teens/20s. I often think if I could do it again, I would have left my family sooner...like joined the Navy at 18, taken a non-combat, marketable job, and focused on getting my education squared away while I was in uniform, then build a life for myself when I was out. I did the above, but about 10 years later. I have a good life. My sister is estranged. After my father died, I stepped in to help my mom. My mom, me, and my family now live within minutes of each other and have a great relationship. It has turned out better than I could have ever imagined at 18. My sister is still the anti-Christ, but we moved far, far away from her...
Well... My older sister got a brand new Celica GTS , back around 2002-2003. My parents ended up getting a divorce. I ended up getting a hand me down Plymouth Sundance from a relative that died, my grandpa drove it from Maryland to Virginia so I could have it. I noticed at a young age I was treated different, my older sister got real awesome stuff, while I didn't get much of anything.. I ended up accepting how things were by 17. Probably when she got the car. She did very well in sports,made jv in middle school, varsity in 9th, played for a regional team and even for a international team. I didn't do as well as she did in her sport.
Good... You should, you ungrateful f**k. Do them a favor.
Load More Replies...This happened to me as well. My brother was always coddled a d was a mama's boy. I grew up very fast in this environment. At 18, because I did work and my brother never did, even through college, I had saved enough to.purchase a car. It was a 1974 Toyota Corolla 2 door, stick. I paid for the insurance also. I worked two jobs in college studying biology and German. When my mom, who moved in with my daughter and I was dying, my brother wrote me by text to never write, call or there would be legal consequences. My daughter and I took care of her through catheter, diapers watching her skin fall off her. It was the most horrible thing, especially since my brother was no where to be seen or heard from. He was the prince of the family since my dad died when I was 14 and my brother 16. I decided then that I would do the very best in life and not absorb the toxicity. This gentleman is learning what's what and is handling thus like a grown man. I applaud him!
Unfortunately, the parents thought that they could get by with doing the very least for this young man, but they got caught and called out on it. They got mad at him because they GOT CAUGHT! Thankfully, this young man has people in his corner who love and support him despite how his parents feel about him. Never treat a child like they're a mistake because, eventually, they're going to make you realize that your mistake was not loving and supporting them when you need them the most. I wish you all the best in life, young man. There's people in this world who love and support you, even though you don't know them.
Spoiled kid! I wonder if they considered any outside circumstances? Financial situations may have changed, plans might not have come to gather as hoped, they may have even assumed that the younger son wanted a low key birthday party. I really wonder if the gifted car wasn't already in the process if happening & then OP just ruined the surprise. Either way, I do not think that OP should have received the car as a gift at that time as they were not mature enough for the responsibility and privilege.
Your brothers birthday was in 2020 which means that they were probably planning it for a while and had the money. As we all know things got strained since the pandemic, both car prices and gas prices have gone up so even though it seems they can afford doesn't necessarily mean they can. Parents hide many things from their kids and other family members. Do you know for a fact that they can comfortably pay the insurance for all the cars ? Young drivers insurance is higher than established drivers. In addition, your brother got a partial scholarship which means they need to pay less for his schooling. Doesn't sound like you have the same situation which means they need to dish out more for you. More money for your school plus post-pandemic prices plus insurance for you equals you get less than your brother.
I'm curious as to what was it, that your brother worked harder at then you, for him to have deserved the car more? Feel like something is missing from this story. You started to say something about it, then stopped and moved on. Curious 🧐?
I'd like to hear the parents side of the story. Just wondering if their love is less for a reason.
As parents we try to keep things "fair". Some kids need more help than others. One might need an hour a night if help with homework, while the other doesn't. One might need a lot of emotional support or one might have caused a lot of problems. Ive had one beg me daily for driving lessons while one wanted to play games alone in their room. Was that fair? I think so. Unless you are there, you cant know the thought process. Maybe these people are aweful, maybe their actions make perfect sense.
Counterpoint: Maybe a crisis has happened the last two years? You may have missed it... Maybe there's financial issues to a good part of the population and it's come to his door? Strange not a word about that.
Then they could have simply told him so when he dropped hints that he was expecting a car for his birthday.
Load More Replies...Get a job. Earn 1600$ and give it to your parents. I'd hate being beholden to anyone who begrudgingly gave me something after being shamed by family.
the spoiled firstborn brat is going to abandon them and the second son is going not to want them in his life, well played.... The OP didint demanded a car, he just asked why he didint get one and why his older brother got one, if i were in OP shoes, i would throw carkeys back to them telling them that i didnt want a pitty present becase my feelings are hurt, that i just wanted to be threated like equal.... (i have two older brothers, so i know the favoritism, and to be honest, i dont speak with my brothers, becase i dont consider them a brothers, just relatives, but not brothers.)
We bought a car for our eldest daughter when she got her driver's license. This was so she could help drive her siblings to after school activities. When she left home, her younger sister and brother had the use of the car. Never in their names though because that would have made insurance impossibly expensive.
From the info available here, it would seem that the parents are at fault. Obvious favoritism, it seems. That could also explain the older brothers coldness, he would feel of more value if the parents treated him so. But there is usually more to it.
YTA. Instead of demanding the obscene gift of a car worth multiple thousands for no other reason than someone else got that, go get a job and ride a bicycle instead. Enforcing equality of outcome for no other reason than parity is dictatorial nonsense. Work towards your OWN goals, without benchmarking against others. Do YOUR best, not just whatever someone else did. Stop comparing yourself to this brother and I guarantee you your parents will finally see you as your own man. Grab a copy of Peterson's "12 Rules" and give that a read, you might be surprised what you learn about yourself.
I felt this one. I'm the eldest. When my grades slipped in from a 4.0 to a 3.85 my Dad informed me that he wouldn't sign for me to get my driver's license. My stepmother intervened and he relented. Even WITH a driver's license I wasn't allowed to drive the 10 year old Toyota (the car my stepmother had in college). My brother was kicked out of not one, but two different high schools and ended up going to a continuation school (mainly because he was a chronic pothead). For HIS 16th birthday (after I'd moved out) my Dad gave him a Red 1967 Ford Mustang. Him being the "golden child" had always been apparent, but I could never really be mad at him for it. He was always pretty cool about sharing the spoils when he got away with something. ($100 for ski boot bindings? In July? In San Diego, CA???)
We as a society have a long way to go when it comes to our understanding of how relationships within the family should be. We condemn toxicity and all forms of abuse, but not when it comes from parents. I stopped talking to my parents because of their toxicity, egocentric and narcissistic behavior that left a lot of mental and emotional trauma for me. But when people find out I don't talk to them, I get a lot of "those are your parents, you should forgive them," or "you only get one mom." Just a lot of people pushing for me to go back to the trauma and abuse. I feel for this kid completely. It really sucks to be in a home environment that makes you constantly question yourself and makes you feel like the Black sheep. I hope he manages to leave that household, and never look back.
That was no present. A gift given so grudgingly is an insult. What are you thanking them for anyway? They sound really cold, and nasty. I would feel mortally wounded. I take my pain very silently, unfortunately. I suffer in silence just to avoid such distasteful behaviour. I have not spoken to some close relatives in nearly 30 years. Some want me to forgive them, but I say if I do, then I am giving them carte blanch to repeat their hurt.
Middle child here: I did not get the dental care and braces I severely needed, I did not get my college paid for or help with a car purchase. I moved out at 16, My oldest brother was king and could do no wrong, my sister was the privileged child. There were 5 of us 3 old brothers and a younger sister. The 3 of us had a very hard childhood. When my parent grew old guess who had to take care of them? Yes, it was me. I tried for years not to be bitter. The 3 of us had divorces, drug abuse, and difficulty finding our purpose in life. One committed suicide the other moved away. Parents are very wrong when they say they don't have favorites. Oh yes, the oldest became a millionaire and was a royal a*****e to my parents the youngest also has done very well and their children have prospered.
I really feel how upset you are. And it is really heartbreaking. In as much as I want to tell you to just move on with your life and forget about your parents, I think what’s better is for you to do your best and be the best that you can be, try to forget that your parents treated you this way, and just continue on loving and being good to them, Eventually, they will realize their mistake. After all, they are still your parents.
You were right. I would have swallowed it down and come out about it years later. I used to be that way when I way a kid.
I think the best approach is to never give up on love and family. Keep trying to communicate and understand eachother. Sometimes this task can feel impossible, but i believe you can solve these issues and heal your family relationships if everyone involved has patience, understanding, and the will to communicate through some hard topics. It will also be crucial to forgive whole-heartedly and unconditionally in order to get the best result. I wish you luck! It only seems like a tough path at the moment, but I believe in you!
The best gift I have given myself is acceptance that there is favoritism in my family, not in my favour, but my parents do love me and I'm okay regardless. I just stopped letting it matter to me and enjoy the happy life I have cultivated for myself with what I did get. Just stop believing the narrative that you will only be okay if everything is fair. It isn't. And you can still be okay.
Wow man. Entitled much. You did blackmail your parents and you should be ashamed. Your parents raised you bud. Greedy and spoiled aren't what I would use.
I hope you read the story it well. You wouldn’t be saying such thing, if you tried to understand it,
Load More Replies...My grandparents did the same thing to me. One cousin had a paid trip to Disney world, another got a car and when I graduated, I got nothing except the promise of an old computer that my grandfather was using, once he got a new one. Then 2 years later it was given to me when I had already saved up and built my own new computer. They also played favorites when it came to needing a place to stay, giving my cousin a room for free, but asking me to pay several hundreds of dollars to sleep on the living room floor.
My parents treated me differently also than my twin sister, I know it hurts. My father built her a house, I had to figure out everything on my own. I'm still a little angry at them, even now at age 58! It sounds like we had the same kind of parents in a way. Stay strong, make your own way in life as I did. Get out asap and never go back. Hope you feel better one day.
His parents are so cold. It's obvious that they show favoritism, his grandmother is right. And if it wasn't for his grandmother eavesdropping, he wouldn't even have gotten the Subaru and they would have just gotten pissed and turn it around by making him feel like he's spoiled. Parents, love your children equally when you have more than one. Even if there are children involved that were not planned. Or children from another parent. Make sure each kid gets equally treated and equally loved. Either all your kids get cars on their 18th or none. It's simple as that. When you treat your kids equally, you'll be rewarded with a peaceful home filled with love, children who care about you even after they move out, and a good old day. When you show favoritism, your house will be filled with strive and jealousy, and children who will only be happy to leave. Maybe the favorite will stay in touch, and maybe when you're lucky the other one will continue to try because they aren't willing to give up on their parents. But it makes for a lot of bitterness and emotional damage that will even pass to your grandchildren. I even see it in my family. One of my cousins no matter how sweet he is has emotional damage because his father is emotional damaged by the fact that his mother favored his brother. So consider that if you favor one child over the other, even your grandkids get damaged in the long run. You're damaging generations to come.
So glad I was an only child. And I have one child. I have seen this happen over and over in other families.
This is not about getting a car. Kid is victim signaling. Parents tend to parent on performance and behavior. Kid spouts off grades and not behavior. Is he lacking indepedence in managing himself? How does he contribute to the family unit? Fatal error in his story here. No empathy noted. He used the princess,dragon,knight story method. He's the damsel in distress, parents are the dragon, granny is the knight. As a mediator I'd maneuver him to considering reasons why they didn't reward him the same way his brother gets rewards. Whay incentives does the brother deliver to warrant more parental support than he is doing? Also, without the parental viewpoint this article is just to myopic and thin sliced to conclude that he is actually in a toxic situation.
Your own issues are on brightly lit display here. You do get that, right?
Load More Replies...At least my mother treated me equally, the same with my younger brother. It's my father who showed favoritism. And I thought being the firstborn, I get all the attention. But apparently not! My brother wanted a new phone and my father willlingly paid cold hard cash for it. And mind you, I didn't ask for any electronics. But when they came home, I got a 2nd apple mp3 player. At first, I thought my father was being nice in not trying to show favortism. Until his next words really hurt me. He said : "I got you the mp3 so you wouldn't b***h about any sort of favortism." Like wow! I didn't even ask for that. Few years later, I threw the mp3 back at his face and told him to f**k off my my personal space.
As a non-american I always feel weird about these expectations for the 16th or 18th birthday. Where I am from you are glad if your parents gift you the money for driving school for your 18th birthday, maybe a cool trip but not a damn car. Op said he didnt expected to be treated the same like his older Brother and then said he expected the same treatment for his 18th birthday. As the oldest kid in my family, my parents had certain expectations in me they didnt had in my younger sister. And if these expectations were met, I got rewarded. My sister did not. What we learn from this is to not expect anything from anyone unless you are prepared to be disappointed.
My sister got a car when she graduated high school. I got luggage.....I laughed it off, but it always hurt
I think this should be a motivation to make a better life for yourself. Prove to yourself, not to your parents or brother that you can do anything you set your mind to. Make the best of your life. Work, go to college, fall in love... etc... let this incident be your motivation to be the next president of this country or the ceo of any other company... best of luck kiddo!!!
💭SPOILED AND ENTiTLED .. YOUR PARENTS OWE YOU NOTHING BUT THR LOVE , so many children are raised in homes WHR thr is abuse, drug abuse & absentee parents , how about focusing on what they have done, did do & continue to do which is FINANCIALLY SUPPORT YOU AND TRY & BE GRATEFUL FOR THT looks like you spend most of the time seeing & complaining Abt what your brother is given & have lost sight of what you have been given , I especially like the fact how you went all in detail Abt what kind of cake he had but all you said about yours was "it was store bought" , I'M SORRY BUT NO LOVE HERE I validate your feelings but ALL I SEE A SPOILED AND ENTITLED BOY (you can give a boy a fish & he'll eat for a day BUT IF YOU TEACH HIM TO FiSH HE WON'T GO HUNGRY) `ever think tht maybe your Parents seen things in your brother after "thr so many gifts" tht they didn't want to instill in you 🤨🤌 of course not CAUSE ALL YOU SEEN WAS (I DIDN'T GET WHAT I WANTED ..
Time to deal with your own tragic issues before having a go at other people's. I say this sincerely - l pity you, if only for all the rage, hate and spite in your post
Load More Replies...💭Spoiled And Entitled .. Parents Owe You Nothing But To LOVE YOU , so many children are raised is abusive homes, drug abuse homes, some without the Mom present, some without the Dad present, some without both present , I get you were just wanting to share how you were left out or under appreciated or maybe even disappointed after all "he" got a car so in the back of your mind I'm sure you were so sure you would get one too , but I love how you were so quick to print out every detail of your brothers party down to the making of the cake and kind 🙆 maybe focusing on ALL the things they did do for you 🤔like seeing as you don't live in the city & the closets bus is 10 miles away 🤷who took you to school all THM years & if you don't have a job JuX yet you must need a PHN or some type of electronic device to reach out and share your story 🤔who bought you tht, how bout BEiNG GRATEFUL FOR THE CAKE YOU DiD GET AND THE PARTY YOU DiD GET AND EVERY OTHER THiNG YOUR PARENTS DiD DO FOR ->YOU<-
God, is your anger and malice so great you had to spew this vomit twice?
Load More Replies...I’m sure it’s hard for some of you to imagine, but since you don’t know this person and the parents do, maybe there is some reason that they don’t trust him with a car. A hint might be because he says he’s going to get a part-time job to pay for his student loans. What part time job can he get to pay for his student loans? Pretty much nada! To me that shows that maybe he’s not quite plugged into reality. He’s also talking about being independent, unlike his brother. Why didn’t he just get a part-time job to buy a car? It’s not like they gave his brother a brand new luxury vehicle or anything. Maybe he’s just been more responsible and his negative side from them better than you. Did you ever get caught driving crazy how much speeding we’re going against your parents rules? Hanging around with other people they don’t like? Used drugs or alcohol? Sounds like they don’t trust me maybe As far as money goes you don’t know how your parents are doing financially. Parents always hide that
This reads like the young man's story held up a mirror to you and who you are and you're now making silly excuses because your reflection is honest yet ugly.
Load More Replies...My Mom was a single Mother, I worked from the time I was 14. My first Car was a former Oklahoma State Police Cruiser (73 Plymouth Satellite 383) that my brother and I spent all summer getting to run right. I never expected anything from my Mom. But when I graduated she bought me a Citizen Wristwatch. I cried. So I don’t feel much sympathy.
Totally different story from the young man's but thanks.
Load More Replies...What parents would treat their kids differently? Don’t care if they have issues or adopted or mistakes or anything. I can’t imagine doing that to any child or person. We’re they not loved as as child themselves. Just crazy!!!
Oh, yeah. I can see it know, they'll definitely use this against him. He needs to save his money and RUN
Well all I can say to the Parents of the boy is " Enjoy The Rest of Your Very Very Very Lonely Lives When They Have Their Own Families & Good Luck Ever Seeing Your Grandchildren!!! I have 2 Boys ( now men ) that are 5yrs apart & I Still treated them equally and NEVER played favorites! Any Parent who does that Doesn't Deserve to be Parents...( especially when couples out there are trying to start families of their own & can't) Shame On You!!! You Are Going To Face A Very Lonely Existence In Your Old Age.... Be Prepared!!!
Poor guy!! So many parents wish their kids were as well rounded and behaved as this young man. While it's true that "living well is the best revenge" his parents behavior is super painful stuff and I sure hope that he gets help truly understanding that their terrible behavior is not his fault and will come back to haunt them down the road. You can just tell that he's going to lead a successful life. Best wishes young man!!
No parent wish this. He sounds like a whiny baby who thinks hes entitled to a car. The kid needs to grow up
Load More Replies...I wish BP and other sites wouldn't pull posts from Reddit and use them as articles. The articles are boring and overly wordy, and we can just read it on Reddit. Not to mention it's a thing the Daily Mail does, which just goes to prove it's lame.
I just want to say, great story, Ms. Zinina! Keep writing like this, no matter how far up you go!
I just want to say, great story from Ms. Zinina! Keep writing like this! No matter how up you go, young lady.
I'm really sorry OP that your family treats you this way, truly. Your family are the people you should be able to rely on most :( Favoritism is one of the most destructive things you can wreak on your family, especially as a parent. I am very blessed to have a family that loves us all equally, and I'm now passing that on to our little ones. Even though our son and daughter are too young to speak, when I tell one how much I love them, I tell the other right after ❤️ If you ever have a family of your own I'm sure you'll do the same
Even if they are holding a grudge against you, continue to treat them with kindness. Forgive them for their unfairness. This is how Jesus treated people who treated Him poorly. God forgives us a sinners when we accept His Son Jesus as our Savior so we should extend that same forgiveness onto others.
Can I keep you? I've got grown kids, and now grandkids, but I was always everyone's "bonus" mom. I stay in touch with my kid's friends (and ex's) even if they aren't even friends anymore... I'm still here. I'm so so sorry this kid is having to go thru this. It hurts my heart. Someone needs to love on this kid.
I hope the younger one becomes rich so when the parents see and comes crawling to him with their hands out which they will he can teach them a simple lesson, when someone is in need pay it forward, you didn't without being forced so why should I
Both spoiled to the point of not recognizing loyalty, boundaries and priorities. Your parents don't owe you a dime because they gave you brother one or a thousand for that matter. People use to understand this all kids/people are unique. They can be raised with all the best of everything and still turn out troubled. Unlike your cheering section I recommend you join the service, grow up and learn the valuable lesson that you parents fed you clothed you and put a roof over your head for 18 yrs. Many around the world a probably within 10 miles of your pampered experience do not have it that good. Time away from my parents and family made me appreciate all the more how they treated us all as individuals and it did not seem fair at the time. The effects on our lives though is important we all can stand up and stand out.
Well, that was a revealing post, though not the reasons you probably intended.
Load More Replies...My mother showed favoritism toward me for a few reasons. It always hurt seeing how she treated my little brother. She loved me more because I'm female, her pregnancy with me was intentional and didn't cause a financial strain, I didn't have any expensive health issues, and she preferred my natural talents and temperament over his. She used "boy" as an insult. I got out of there as soon as I could and never looked back because even though, I was her golden child, she still abused me. Just differently.
When I was 14, I was upset that I "looked fat" and her response was to 1) calculate my BMI and tell me that it says I'm a healthy weight, but it's often wrong, 2) make cupcakes, 3) make me feel like a monster for not eating her cupcakes, and 4) shame me for giving in and eating a cupcake. She gaslit, guilted, and manipulated me into doing and thinking so many dumb things. My brother just got openly shamed for things everyone knew he couldn't control.
Load More Replies...Spoiled brat shouldn't expect anything from your parents.stop being a victim
I wonder what your childhood was like if you can post prosaic nothings on here as if it's deep wisdom.
Load More Replies...This is a kid. How does he know what their financial situation is? The last two years have screwed things up for a lot of people. The grandmother should've kept quiet and spoke to them in private. This kid says he never got a job because of the distance. Maybe the brother figured out how to And that's what they think made him a hard worker. There's so much missing from this story and everyone is so quick to side with the op. Everyone is the a*****e/brat here!
The grandmother treated her child the same way the parents treated their kid. She chose sides and then publicly embarrassed them. Sounds like a great matriarch for a dysfunctional family.
Load More Replies...Your "parents" are lousy & don't really deserve the title. I am so sorry. Get out as soon as you can, & make your own way. Keep your other--decent, Loving--relatives close. We all need family. But, forget your "parents" & "brother". They have not treated you like family, &--UNLESS they have some kind of mental, emotional, & Spiritual awakening, realize they have all screwed up TERRIBLY, humble themselves, & do the hard work of making real change in themselves, & doing the serious work required to truly reconcile with you--it is unlikely that they will . It does seem possible that your brother may--people can grow up, mature, evolve, learn new ways of being & doing. He may get out into the world & figure out that your parents were jerks to you & he wasn't much better. He was a kid & just had their teaching, programming, & example, & may have believed it was justified & "right" & you deserved less. Parents hold great sway over their kids & how they see & understand things.
Go out & find the friends & community that you deserve. You ARE worthy of respect, fairness, equality, consideration, being valued, seen, prioritized. There are people in this world who will love you, for you, & treat you they way you deserve to be treated. Please get therapy--being neglected, & mistreated by parents damages us in deep, vicious ways, & we often internalize the abuse & neglect--do not see our OWN worth, mistreat OURSELVES, have no clue how we, & others SHOULD treat us, replicate the abuse/neglect over & over, not KNOWING anything different. A good therapist & healing work will help you to FIND those people who treat you properly, & help you treat yourself properly, & navigate the world & your relationships in a healthy, productive, joyful way. Trust me. You have been badly programmed, & need help in DE-PROGRAMMING & re-programming. You have lived in a cult your whole life, & need to learn to adjust to the "outside world". You DESERVE the happiest, best life possible! ❤️
Load More Replies...I wouldn't get too hung up over your parents being wrong. I was in a similar situation, my parents favored their first child over 'the others'. I just accepted it and carried on with my life. Time took care of the rest. I'd advise you focus on yourself, I wouldn't harbor any resentment towards them as its corrosive and will harm you more than it will them.
Has anyone considered that some unexpected financial hardship may have occurred that no one was aware of? Yes the parents could have explained why not besides the you didn't work as hard for it. If I was the younger now that he has the car, save his money and pay the parents back for it if he really feels he's unfavored. Keep his job and save and move out as soon as he can. I would not want a thing from them.
My parents NEVER showed favoritism. My brother always did much better than I in school. I was ASLEEP. We moved a lot, mama went back to college when I was three. We lived apart for a year and a half. Daddy would come home every month or so. We had to walk every where. I think this affected me emotionally. I wet the bed every night(my poor mama)! I was starting 1st grade. I can see how parents divorcing can really affect children!! We got back together after she graduated and never lived apart again. I finally awakened my senior year. I got my BSN and then later became a CRNA. My parents never made a difference in us. Paid for our college. My brother became an orthopedic surgeon. He was Always a wonderful brother! I can not understand parents favoring certain children. That is just horrible. I feel sorry for this boy. I know he will excel at anything he does. He is a hard worker and he is motivated. He will be much more accomplished that this older brother(if you can call him that!
Exactly why I always gave my 2 girls combined bday parties, and the Exact same gifts. Now it's my 2 gdaughters.....cause what if I couldn't afford the same on the 2nd bday....
Make your own way my friend. At least your grandparents have a sense of fairness. You approached this issue in a respectful manner and you can stick up for yourself which is good.
This young man has more character in his little pinkie than his parents and brother combined. Run, don’t walk from this toxic behavior. Family absolutely IS and supposed to be about love, loyalty and support…..it’s not just defined by blood. Go live your best life and find your joy. Don’t look back.
Sorry your going through that with family! Your in a better situation then how I grew up with a mom on drugs and abandoned us and my dad an alcoholic who ended up in prison twice but passed now. To having our grandparents have to take care of us is where I felt loved and once my dad got out of prison he stepped up as a father. Please pay attention to your intuition your gut feelings because that's most likely your body telling you the truth or somethings not right here you know? You have to make the most of your situations, you make the mood, you set the setting on how you want to be treated in life. Always advocate for yourself you did well speaking up to your parents and calling them out on the obvious. My advice is take good care of that vehicle as it will take good care of you and get you to new opportunities coming your way. Families family there's not much you can do to change them but setting your boundaries calling the shots on what you well accept and what you won't is vital.
You have an awesome grandmother and you seem to have family that cares about you, other than stupid parents and a self-centered brother. Don't worry about them. Do not seek their love which does not exist, nor even for themselves. Take good care of your grandmother and those who love you and think of you. As for stupid parents... no, I wouldn't say anything very wise, but let them beware, it's very often the favorites who will disappoint them later and the outcast who will stand out and make their grandmother proud. Get out of this toxic atmosphere as quickly as possible and don't look back. There are many more loving people on earth.
you sound like a guy with a good head on your shoulders. keep working hard and saving for college. try to apply at places that offer tuition assistance like chic Fila, Arby's, and some other places. live your best life and don't feel guilty about that car. if they bought your brother one, they should have planned to get you something to, without needing to be ashamed by the family. we helped all 3 of ours get first cars, although admittedly we spent a little more on the middle child to get a more reliable car with her being female. they all had gas budgets, insurance help, etc. your parents are jerks, for whatever reason, and you just keep looking forward to your future. make sure if and when you have kids you treat them all equally.
The parents were wrong and got what they deserved! If they knew they were eventually play favorites they shouldn't have bought either of the bros a car. Then they heap even more deserved guilt on their plates by buying kid #2 a cheaper car out of their guilt. Is there any solution to this epic family damage... maybe! The younger kid can study the best siblings kill parents movies to collect ideas, read news stories of family murder plots then carefully craft a plot to 'pay' them back in some dramatic fashion! Hahahahaha...
Being a mom of two girls 9 yrs apart it’s hard to treat them equally I love both of them the same the older one is very jealous of her younger sister idk if it’s because she doesn’t like her dad who I’m with or because she feels she doesn’t get the kind of attention that she gets I try my best to treat them equally but it’s hard when the older one is 12 and her younger sister is 3 I sometimes can’t afford to get things for them on certain occasions and explain that to the older one and sometimes I have the money to get things for them but she still gets upset about it
So what if you dont get treated the same, I didnt and still dont. I dont whine about it or even confront them about it. My 2 older sisters do and they have a toxic relationship with my parents. Our younger sister is the baby and gets ALL the attention. She takes care of nothing because mom and dad will replace it. She has had over 10 cars given to her, and she drove everyone intk the ground 3 trailers bought for her and she only had to pay the lot rent and utilities - which she never would. My 2 older sisters and myself have bought at least 2 houses, bought our own cars after we moved out. When we lived at home, we got just enough to survive. I just enjoy what little time I can with my parents as they wont be here forever. Stop whining about how you are treated, you can do it after they are dead or move out like an adult and quit mooching
If his parents thought he didn't earn it he probably didn't. A lazy person can work 8 hours and still not have a thing accomplished. You wouldn't give that person a raise. Sure they work. Still lazy. So even after you got granny involved and basically blackmailed them into getting you a car. You gunna say and I quote. "And when I thanked my parents, they brushed me off and just went inside.it kind of gave off the vibe that they were letting a brat play with his new toy . which was pretty upsetting and one of the reasons I made this post. .. you are a brat, who blackmailed his parents.. and because they weren't happy you blackmailed them you posted it? adds to the depth of brat.. Call you brat pit. Guess where our 6 year old runs when we won't give him what he wants?..to granny *mic drop*
This breaks my heart as I have grandchildren who are going thru something similar with their Mom, my daughter. You did absolutely nothing wrong and deserve to have a car, just as much as your brother. Love your parents, in spite of this, they will always be your parents. In the end, you will have done the right thing. Enjoy the car, stay in school and make your own way. You sound like a wonderful person. Good luck to you and reach for the stars!
You can stop thanking them for the car. Sounds like you've pretzeled backwards to try to earn their 'love'. Write them off, they probably get off on denying you any sort of validation or fair play. Politeness, then move away and let cold reality be their only future.
His parents behaved just as immaturely as he did and then to give him the silent treatment? I had a flashback to the Timothy Hutton character in the movie Ordunary People, where his mom, played by Mary Tyler Moore, can't get past her resentment of him after his older brother dies in a boating accident and he, her decidedly not favorite son, survives. Heartwrenching movie.
Poor guy! At least it sounds like you are a very responsible, stable and mature young man. You had EVERY right to ask about the car situation. Do NOT feel guilty for ANYTHING! Your parents obviously NEEDED to hear the ugly truth of their blatant, ugly behavior. Most likely they are humiliated (deservedly so) and it is my sincerest HOPE for you, that they are now just trying to figure out how to "fix" the mess they have created. After all, they have done SOMETHING right when you consider the amazing young man you turned out to be. Prayers for your bright future! 🙏
I feel like there's something we're missing from this story. Is it just me? I mean, my mom favors my older sister as well, and it's obvious MOST of the times, but this treatment towards this person is just... it feels surreal? He is literally treated almost like an adopted child that no one wanted. Making such obvious choices in favor of one child feels like a soap opera and not real life. My sister is 5 years older than me and always gets much better presents than me, actually, most of the times I get nothing. My mom and dad are there to help her every single day, dad built an entire house for her, mom cooks, cleans, takes care of her dog. I moved out a while ago and my parents have become almost like strangers. When I ask for smth from them, feels like they never want to do it and whenever the 4 of us are together, only my sister's problems seem to matter. But I am aware that maybe from the outside it's not that bad and maybe it's a thing of circumstances. Maybe... idk.
Sounds perfectly if sadly everyday to me. You might want read the many posts detailing the same situation others have suffered. How odd that you find it surreal.
Load More Replies...Well honestly I still need more info. The parents still have a viewpoint that hasn’t been fully heard. We’re hearing their point of view still from the lens of a child. I have 3 children and there still could be so many factors that haven’t been considered. I’m just creating stories but it could be the first born like in many cases was gifted money from birth on to go towards such a purchase or this child needed car for extra curricular activities which would allow either child to be available to drive sibling to school or themselves to college or or or there are just so may scenarios that would make sense in my mind. The parents should explain but I see they feel betrayed by the younger child bringing it up during the party. It obviously was not the time to discuss it. The grandmother “eavesdropping “ is clear it wasn’t time or place to have conversation.I just don’t have enough info to put parents under the bus. And children’s attitudes account for a lot too not just grades.
Oh dear. Frankly, this reads like the young man's story touched a nerve.
Load More Replies...I come from a pretty petty and manipulative family. We love each other, but there are a number of relationships that aren't repairable and they prefer it that way. That being said, I recently came across a TikTok video that really hit a chord with my soul. The wise man said that there is wordage missing from the phrase "blood is thicker than water". The wording of it makes it seem as though blood relations are a stronger bond than formed relations by choice. A good relationship takes effort and compassion, as well as many other things. The full phrase is actually "blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". It is a phrase soldiers came up with and use in battle. The bond from battle is stronger than the bond if a blood brother. My brother and I have issues. I blocked ha number for a while because I didn't want to deal with his verbal outbursts and abusive words anymore I knew I deserved a break. It was around this last Christmas. Family is rough.
How awful! This young man needs to distance himself from a clearly toxic and destructive relationship with his parents. Blood means nothing when you are treated like that. My mother is an emotional vampire, and I have to limit interactions for my own well-being. Best of luck to you, take care of your well-being and mental health. Your parents seem involved with themselves; I'm sorry.
With a very simple twist, we never do holidays or gifts. For anyone's birthday or graduation or new job, we have them choose the restaurant they want to go to and which night. My husband and I, and all our children are on the invite list. The family "gathers" for a special very relaxing celebration. If the one having the birthday/graduation/job wants to invite any friends or additional relatives, THEY contact the ones they want. We cover it. They haven't ever been unreasonable. We never do gifts for any holidays. If someone needs something, they tell us, any time of the year. Getting "Stuff" has nothing to do with gathering for holidays. On birthdays and Christmas, they choose a charity and we give money to that charity in their name. (E.g., one Christmas they ganged together and chose for us to give a llama through the heifer organization charity.) They have everything they need. They're fine with this system. Removes a LOT of stress.
Bro, you don’t need your parents. If they don’t love you then you need to roll with the punches and move on. Forget about them, go to college, get a job, find someone you love, and start a new life. Leave them in a past. Move forward and don’t look back. You’ll be just fine without them.
I skip over everything pored panda writes in these AITA posts. It sounds like inane rehashing of exactly what's stated in the reddit thread.
Dude....you have a rotten family. You have Beautiful Grandparents, and that's it. You need to realise this, and protect your feelings.. and dump your rotten family.
Jesus you sound like a whiner. Why? My experienced was worse. My brother is 3 years older. My parents lined up cars to see with him, and he didn't even show up. He had better things to do. My Dad got him a Moped. Which my brother complained about. This was Softmore year. He didn't even graduate! His grades were so poor, he had to attend summer school to get a diploma. Then my parents buy him a used car, which he trashed. It lasted 3 years. I was a better student. Graduated high school. Not even a graduation party. And, big surprise, no car. I worked, saved, & bought my own used car, a $1,600 Honda. My 2nd? a BMW, no one bought me that one either. My brother moved on to a Toyota 4 x 4, It was repossessed. Because he spent all his money on a personalized license plate, & tinted windows. Idiot! So I experienced clear favortism from my parents, guess what, I am a better person for it. My brother is a loser. Move on. Get past it. Your parents and brothers sound like jerks. Move on.
That sucks. Hopefully u'll be happier without them when u leave they don't deserve you. Just wondering what they would say if they never got a car for u finally and u were still trying to find a job. Like what would they actually start saying u can't be home all day u need a job. Why are u not home yet ?(the bus comes at so an so time u shoulda been home hrs ago when ur literally walking home). Or have a friend pick u up(if friend can't u should pick better friends). Why did u pick this job u should get a better job(can't really if u can't get there easily an the bus only goes to certain areas). I feel like they woulda made stupid excuses like this if u never got a car to be able to get a job.
Stay close to your grandparents. Cherish the time you have with them. Lavish them with all the love and affection you have and I'm sure they will return it. Don't forget they soon will be gone and you'll regret it if you don't spend as much time as you can with the ones that truly care about you.
My parents have done the same thing with me... my sisters 17 and has been learning to drive... they just bought her a car... im 20 and when i was her age i was told to figure things out myself... they get upset when i say shes there favorite but they have proven it in more ways then just that... i feel for them...
Move on now. You will find friends and a special someone that will bring you into their families by choice.
This whole thing sounds so bizarre. Why would parents treat their children so differently? I am glad that all the other relatives stood up for the OP. He should continue to strengthen his relationships with anyone in the extended family who showed support for him during this time. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. And definitely start working on that self sufficiency plan for work and school.
It is sad that this has happened, but now you know their true colors. Move on, love them, and forgive them, not for them but for you. Maybe this has happened to one of them when they were growing up and this is normal to them Regardless of the reason, you are now old enough to make a life for yourself, finish college, get a great job If you have a family of yourbown one day, remember not to do this to your kids because you know how this feels. If you can re establish a relationship with your brother, that will help because one day your parents won't be here anymore you're anymore. You will only have each other to rely on and be there for each other.
I know a couple who have two daughters. They are very obviously partial to the younger one. The oldest girl has ADD, and she was being made fun of at school, so she was upset and had no friends. She also wasn't athletic. You could tell her parents considered her an embarrassment. The other girl played sports, was popular and got good grades. It was mostly the mother, but the father followed her lead. They swore they didn't have a favorite or made any difference, but everyone who was around them could see it.
He should really read up on scapegoat and golden child, his parents are narcs
How do you get that they are narc from this story?!?!?
Load More Replies...You will make your way and have a better life than your parents and brother because you are a far better person in every way. You have worked hard, given back to your community and tried to honor your family, they don't appreciate what a good man you are becoming. The best thing you can do is live your best life surround yourself with those who value and love you for who you are. Don't ever think any of that behavior is from something you did or deserve it's all on them. So great you had the strength to call them on their behavior! Best wishes for a happy future , you will go far.
A successful, happy life is the best revenge on people who bring you down.
Get out asap! Don't make the mistake of spending the rest of your life trying to win their love. You deserve better.
My Mom had an older brother. When he turned sixteen, he was given a choice: he could have a car or he could have his teeth fixed (braces). Of course, he got a car. Didn't have it a year before he wrecked it. Mom turned sixteen - nothing. She wanted so badly to get her teeth fixed all her life, but she drew the short straw. Now, this young man is lamenting the fact that his parents got his older brother a car for his eighteenth birthday, but not him. I'm just wondering whether it occurred to little bro that maybe Ma and Pa learned their lesson after providing Junior I with wheels? Maybe there was some family drama that he wasn't privy to? Something might have happened that made them regret it and they didn't want to make the same mistake with Junior II. Just a thought 🤔.
Parents can be so inconsistent. Husband has a large family. The oldest 2 each got a car sometime after they got their licenses. Don't know if it was connected to birthday's. Both wrecked their cars. Seemingly as punishment the next two in line weren't even allowed to get their driver's licenses because "you'll wreck your cars too." Smh.
Every child in a family has different parents. Not genetically, but experiential. Good parents will fine tune their parenting to the specific child, but others don't even think of that. These parents, for whatever reason, did a version of the royal family, with the heir to the throne, so to speak, getting better treatment. It may be totally unconscious behavior on their part, but it still hurts. It may also have been a response to a real or imagined slight or misbehavior that they reacted to, or even a reversal of finances that their children don't know about. I don't think severing relations is appropriate. That's for child abuse. This wasn't abuse, just a poor choice on their part.
My moms exuse for my lifelong unfair treatment for me & my 3 kids is just that ive been capable & needed less than my sisters. your parents behavior is just horrible..even though i am a poor single mom with no outside help have always tried to be fair even though for the longest time I had had the closest relationship with my oldest son. My daughter just hated me & my youngest was just very difficult due to his mental health & other disabilities even with that I never compared my children to each other & always understood they each had their own strengths & weaknesses so even though my expectations had to be different I had always pushed each to be the best versions of themselves. Sometimes 1 kid would get more gifts or clothing due to the fact that I always spent a.m. equal $250-500 on each. I would never do something for 1 if I couldn't afford to do the same or of equal value for my other children
Ditch the parents and the brother and move on kiddo. Blood doesn't always make people your family. What those parents did was grade A favoritism and it wasn't right. Not sure why he is the black sheep but they're flatout wrong. We have 6 kids and they will ALL get a car as long as they have all earned it. Sounds like he earned it just like his brother. Never understood how people can do their kid this way.
Everything you say sounds incredibly reasonable. And if you are so well reasoned it's likely your parents are pretty reasonable people too. It's easy to see only one side of a situation. I am curious what your parents have to say. I know sometimes when speaking in real time time it's impossible to get anywhere with people on emotional issues. Have you considered sharing this post with them and asking them if they might write back to you with their feelings letting letting them know that you value their feelings and you appreciate their support they're support and you don't want to pressure them but you would like to understand where they are coming from?
The whole scenario is upsetting and his parents should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. His parents knew he was expecting a car as he had brought the subject of cars up weeks before the party. Not to mention the fact his older brother got one. How did his parents think he was going to react when he realized on the day of his birthday that they were not going to be presenting him with a car? It was almost like they were setting him up. He should not feel bad in the slightest when finally received his car. His parents knew EXACTLY what they were doing, they just weren’t prepared to be called on it. I hate to say it up this kid is not going to get what he emotionally needs from his parents going forward. I hope he drives his car with pride, eats their food with gusto and turns the thermostat up when he’s cold while he lives at their house and goes to school. I hope he doesn’t send his parents or brother invitations to his college graduation. I wish him all the luck in the world.
Grandma might have been at work behind the scenes forcing them to be fair. I don't think your feelings alone motivated them to get you the car. This will never end, you know. Grandma might give you more in her will than to your brother or your parents. They will retaliate years later by leaving your brother everything. You've haven't done anything wrong; they just like your brother more and always will-and they don't like being called out on it. You know they're spiteful vindictive children because you're afraid to ask them for college money. You know the pain and destruction that will ensue If you ask for what he got. So you won't ask. You'll just pay for college yourself. Its all them- this is the hill they're prepared to die on. I'm sorry for your situation.
Your a crying little b***h. This is half of a story. Face it you didnt work hard. Your Brother is better than you and you do not deserve a car. G. On we ao cry in your pillow and work harder at life. You are The first sentence of your response. A spoiled brat. No one deserves a car. We must earn such luxuries.
It's best to the OP learned this lesson at a young age, life isn't fair and no matter what you think you're owed, it's ultimately up to you to provide for yourself! Parents can be pretty shitty and often do favor one child over the other, but as in all cases, we're only hearing one side of a very complicated story. Like I said at the start, you're not owed a thing in life and younger people especially feel that they are entitled to whatever they set their little heart on, but the fact is, if you want something it's up to you to work for it and get it yourself.
Honestly, even give a trade school an earnest thought. People with real skill are in very high demand, and only getting bigger as time leads on. For instance welders, electrician, carpentry etc.. Corporations are downsizing big time and don't discredit real hands on skill that will never fail you in the real world, not to mention skill where YOU are in control of your own destiny. At a minimum, if you don't like what place you work for or are jerking you around. You can tell them to kiss your ass and go somewhere else working the next day. If you're savvy YOU can have people working for YOU. hings may change for you in regards to your immediate family soon enough anyway. Last thing yo need is to go all through college nd come out not being able to find work. Then if you do, you'll be doing 6 month or 1 year contract work where they may or may not keep you. That won't put you in any advantage when you have to support yourself because you can't go home. (for whatever the reason)
My sister is 2 years older than me and my parents briefly discussed not letting me have a car/drive myself because my sister could drive me to and from school. For us, money was a bit of an issue. We were on a budget. But at 14 (school permit in rural area) my sister got to have her 'own vehicle' to drive. I presented my parents with the argument that it wasn't fair that she got to drive at 14 and I didn't and if they were worried about having too many cars or paying for gas that it would be fair to let me be the one driving us, at least for a year or so since she had been driving for 2 years and I would get to drive for 2 years after she left for college. My whole family fought about it. Thankfully my mom was looking into getting a newer, more reliable vehicle as she had to commute for work and they just kept her old car for me to drive. You can't treat your kids different like that. It affects them and creates tension among them. These parents were worse than mine though. 😬
Just gotta do what needs to be done and move on the parents nor the brother are very nice and if they didn't want a second child then they shouldn't of had one then to treat them differently is just wrong and I wouldn't be surprised if years down the line that the so called "favorite" isn't gonna be there when they are in their elder years and time of need and the younger one will be the one they can depend on
I don't understand people in the comments saying to pay the parents back so they don't hold it over his head. No, why should he get punished even further for having s**t parents? Don't give them damn cent
Let me commend you for wanting to secure a job. Be succesful and get that job. Your parents are flawed human beings. Some parents do have favorites. Some parents pour more attention into their children who may need more inorder to be successful. Having said that you were right to confront them. Your timing however was way off. Next time consult with an elder in the family. Grandma was right on point to confront your parents. Grandma is a perfect ally. Bide your time graduation is right around the corner. Make all efforts to get into a good college. Time has a good way of moving you in your lifes direction. One last thing, your brother will probably remain who he is. You do you.
What a depressing read. The poor guy. I hope he will find a job and then a life with great friends far away from his bio family.
It is tough to be in the receiving end of not being favoured, it is terrible when receiving it from a family member or someone you depend on. Speaking from personal experience of when parents favour the younger sibling and shower with gifts, I kind of got paid for college as friends of family called them out for favouring younger kid. The bad part was I got the harsher end of the deal in all future engagements. Doubtful if your relationship will ever recover, prepare to deal with college on your own, get a full scholarship, be Uber successful to survive
The format of this column is redundant. The OP writes and then it is rewritten in a larger font. Why?
The parents are weird and the brother is a d**k. Hopefully they grow spiritually. The best way for everyone to move on and reevaluate relationships is to move out and become independent. Then they will either miss you and be grateful for the familial ties, or they will reveal their lack of love. Rent a place with friends. It's party time
If they are paying his tuition should pay yours. There's no reason why you should have to take out student loans and have debt and he get a free ride.
I'm the middle child and I knew that I wasn't really loved when my mom forgot my birthday. I didn't say anything but my sister was pretty upset and reminded her - which then prompted her to get me a store bought cake and a apology. My other siblings got gifts and a celebration. Same thing with college. They paid for my brother and my sister but mom had a talk with me explaining she felt my sister had a "better opportunity" than I did because I struggled and was also dealing with depression. I was told to get a job then got beat up and kicked out when I was fired when I was trying to do full time college work and my job. TLDR: the love of a parent is not unconditional but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved unconditionally.
I just hope this kid doesn’t follow the path that many ignored or under loved kids do. His brother will be a ghost in his parents twilight years and this kid, still striving for their love, will be the only one taking care of them. I might be a cold animal but I’d let my parent die alone in a small apt, eaten by their pets, if they treated me this way.
They are narcissists like my parents were. Just think about it…Harry Potter… Matilda… same situation. Only they didn’t have a good extended family like this kid. They have an agenda for life that they make everyone apart of. Son, there is not a person in life that won’t hold you back because there is not a person in life that wants to be alone. I want you to look at your family like a f****d up unit and try to see things from the perspective of your parents. Do you know how much long term care costs? Nursing homes?? It is not uncommon for someone to spend up a families entire potential inheritance during the golden years of life. Nursing homes are super expensive and there is no limit to how luxurious you can go… They made a decision early on to use your brother one way and you another. Their goal is to make you their b***h. They want you to be the one changing their bed pans and living in their house forever.
All I can say is, I am SURE his parents had their reasons and they don't OWE him anything. My daughters got cars at 16, which they got a job and PAID FOR themselves. They also paid their own insurance, gas, and oil changes. It is called discipline and responsibility. What an entitled little pout he sounds like, not to mention he probably wrote his complaint article from his room in daddy's house on the tablet daddy bought him at 18 years old! LOL. Keep it up American youth, my daughters are out in the wild ready to EAT YOUR LUNCH!
You're sure that since the OP was 10 that his Parents have shown OBIVIOUS FAVORTISIM to their older child and that Nothing the OP does (Volunteering, equal or better grades) is good enough, Allowing the elder child to lord the car over the younger child, Having big party with a Homemade cake During a Pandemic, but S**t party with a store bought cake 2 years later? What Excuse could there possibly be for treating one child well, but forci g the other to endure Blatantly dissimilar behavior?
Load More Replies...Work on moving out and then keeping your distance. Let them reach out to you and if they don't, f*** 'them all. At least you seem to have a good relationship with the grandparents.
Maybe they just didn't have enough money? Things have changed throughout the pandemic. The car for this person, although cheaper than their brother's, may have been a much bigger sacrifice for their parents.
Wow... Entitlement of today... You never know what is really going on and what the parents might be struggling with. Look around you the country is falling apart and you feel because your brother got a car almost 2 years ago when things might of been a lot different for them... You did black mail them. If this is a reflection on how you behaved throughout the years then maybe they didn't get the car because as your parents maybe they felt you weren't ready. Truth is that we don't know the truth and sociopaths are good at manipulating people and that's what this is
He spoke to his parents. If that were the case they could have explained it simply and I'm sure the OP would have totally understood. This just seems like the parents treating him way different than his brother. I had something similar done to me by my grandparents and they had no excuse because they still helped my cousins out before and after that. I was a good kid, got decent grades and didn't get in trouble. People play favorites and no, it's not fair to a person who has done nothing wrong.
Load More Replies...I am sorry you feel so unloved and second in your parents eyes. With that said, I do believe that you are suffering from second child syndrome. You keep comparing what your parents do for your brother and what he lacks to prove the value of love, achievement and self protection. In a perfect world all kids are treated the same, but in reality that is not how it goes. I saw in my life how my brother got everything, car, good clothes, expensive games, even better bigger room. And my sister was always forgiven for everything while I experienced true hell. But I used it to make me stronger. I never believed my parents owed me anything, no matter what my siblings got. So, focus on you and accept yourself. No more comparing. I am sure your parents felt corner pushed. If I was you, since u know this was a forced gift, I would simply work, save and pay them back every dime for car. And then thank them for helping improve your life via "loan". Good luck
Meanwhile you have people like me who was already working at 14 years old bought their own car at 16 and paid for all my drivers training, paid for all of my own insurance (BTW costs thousands of dollars at my age) oh and at 19 years old I bought my mother her car because my family grew up in poverty and she couldnt afford to buy her own. I guess we all just live different lives huh. Honestly this article just shows me the split in the people of America's lives. I would've been happy if my parents paid for my license plate lmao. I guess my sister got a laptop and I got one a year or two later idk if that compares🤣😅.
Not remotely the same thing but if you feel better for all that boring boasting, bully for you.
Load More Replies...So he brought it up and they got him a cheap car, sweet that's more than most of us got. Guess what when you go out into the world you won't be given anything. You will have to get everything you want or need yourself, don't rely on other to get it for you. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! Get used to it buddy because it doesn't change ever.
Well, someone needs to look into anger management and a course of meditation asap.
Load More Replies...It sounds like there's more to it than:," I worked just as hard as my brother, and even volunteered around town". I say you were always a little drama queen and blabbing to everyone about personal family stuff. With that being said, I have my own drama queen who was accepted to West Point. He has 2 other brothers, and regardless of performance, whenever anyone got something, they all got the same equally. Drama Queen, did not deserve anything, but we still gave him and the others equal treatment. I saw a comment about parents ending up alone....whoopee, this kid was not a walk in the park and will never be. So my ending up alone may be the best thing ever. When he ponders whether he should to go to his grandparents house to live, then I say good riddance. Most people here are wanting to listen to the one sided boohoo storyline.... Wake up kids, you're easily fooled.
This is not about a car. It is about why this kid thinks parents parent like they do. Would prefer to hear from the parents too. No, parents do not have to buy cars for any kids. This article is just one big victim signal from a whiny kid. We base people on performance and behavior. Good grades (performance) are in every kid's best interest. It isn't impressive when a kid passes public school anyway. Americans expect kids to at least be high school graduates. How would parents decribe this kid's behavior? Respectful, good attitude, invested family member? Something else? Aloof, leaving dishes in the sink, not doing their own laundry, lacking independence? This article is in large part a waste of time because it is one-sided. This kid has chosen, like most people, to frame themselves as the princess in distress, his parents as the dragon and grandma as the knight. As a mediator, I know this is only one optic of a much more complicated story.
Maybe just maybe your parents saw you as a do it yourself type of person. Maybe they felt giving your brother the car and big party was a mistake and they didn't think of you as a materialistic person. Maybe they had a different plan for you altogether. People tend to jump to assumptions. I could be wrong, but I went through a similar upbringing. Yet I have a way better relationship with my parents then my older 1st born brother that I always thought got favoritism. I feel that I became the hard working, self providing person that I am because of my upbringing. I was mad for years over it and now regret the years I missed especially with my mom. We now talk nearly everyday and with my dad passing away, I can only regret the what if. Everyone makes mistakes including parents. Life is too short. I believe with each child you try to do things better. Unfortunately it doesn't always look or feel that way.
Why do you feel like you are entitled to something just because someone else got something? Life is unfair. Are you going to share your car with another 18 year old whose parents aren't as well off and can't afford to give them a car? No you are not. Stop whining and get a job to pay for your own car. No one in life is owed anything. If they chose to give you something, count it as a blessing. My father gave my younger brother a house for his 18th birthday. I got a greeting card. I was just happy that he went to the bother if buying one. He worked 16 hrs a day, 7days a week.. him taking time out of his day to shop for a card was enough for me. I loved my dad while he was alive and love my brother. I don't lame him or hold it against him that he got more materialistic things than i did. I think I'm the luckier one since i got more life lessons and memories of my father then he did.
I think all parties failed. I think the parents showed favoritism. I think the kid that wrote in reddit is just as bad. I get it, you want to be treated fairly, and a car will really help you out. But now you resort to crying over the Internet that you weren't treated fair. Guess what, families all over have this problem. Yeah, it sucks and I'm sorry they did that. But you know what you should do instead? Grow up, get a job and move out. I also hope that you don't throw away your relationship with your parents. It was a d**k move on their end to not get you car, but if you ignored them, AFTER they got you one, that makes you even worse then them. We all have to try to be the better person, and sometimes that means getting s**t thrown in your face, and trying to come out a stronger, better person for it. Instead, without hearing anything on their side, your parents are made out to be the worst people around. actions have consequences, your parents will start ignoring you instead.
He just told us what happened, we all have a right to talk, chill
Load More Replies...Older siblings take on more than younger siblings majority of the time. Honestly he sounds like an entitled spoiled child who like most younger siblings, is jealous of his brother. Family is about love and empathy but he is only focused on the materials. That is a basic younger sibling staple. He is clearly only telling his side of it. I bet his older brother earned what he received and it was more than just good grades that got him that car. Only people who will really feel different about it are going to younger siblings because you guys always feel like your not wanted by the people who make sure your clothed, safe, and fed. If it bothered him that much you would think he would go out and show his brother he doesn't need his parents to get what he wants. But that would take effort that most younger siblings don't possess. They are too busy hating those that love them. It's always about material things that they black sheep themselves away from their family. So my question would be. Do you really love your family? Or are materials the love you really want?
Lol I find it funny when younger siblings think this way. I myself am an older sibling. I know for a fact that my younger siblings see things in their own way. Most of the time they have really messed point of views because like most younger siblings they see independence in the older one. How do you get mad at your parents for doing the best they can for you in the moment. Older siblings tend to earn what they get and those are the lessons they are being taught. Younger siblings tend to get things because it's the fair thing to do. Which is why you almost all the time see jealousy coming from younger siblings. They are spoiled entitled people majority of the time. Who think smarter not harder is the way of life. Only thing I got from this article is exactly what I hit on. Jealousy and entitlement over material things. Family should always be about love and empathy not who has the better car. If he paid attention he would see the lessons being taught
Do you know how long I had to scroll to read this comment. This kid is a spoiled brat.
Load More Replies...I'm different on this one. Parents are not obligated to do anything but care for you until you're old enough to do for yourself. That does not include a car. So what they gave your brother a car. That's their money! They can do what they want with it. Would it have been nice sure. As for grandma and uncle, if they are that concerned let them buy him a car. Heck they knew his 18th birthday was coming since he was 17. It doesn't matter how much money these people make. IT IS THEIR MONEY! We don't know how they see their son and why they didn't feel they should buy him a car. So there. He never said he was hungry and cold. He never said he was abused. He said he didn't get a car for his 18th birthday. Boohoo, I didn't either. On behalf of parents everywhere who have spoiled rotten kids that make idiots sympathize with them. Screw y'all!!! Brat!!!
He just asked his parents why, that's literally all he did, chill
Load More Replies...Spoken like a true capitalist. Also he didn't blame them for anything, he assumed they'd each get a cheap car. It's not a bad thing to assume you are going to be treated at the same level as a sibling. His grandma overheard and SHE made the big deal, not him. Also we assume they don't really give a crap about him because they treated him like crap on his birthday, car aside, he wasn't treated the same, which is a red flag. You should look up the 'work hard' myth. People given opportunities to succeed, guess what? Succeed better. It's absolutely normal to feel bad that someone in the same situation as you is given more. If the parents had financial concerns or something else, they should have discussed that with him if they truly loved him.
Load More Replies...These parents are on their best way to remaining alone in a few years, without any of the kids paying them a visit. The spoiled, older one already doesn't give too much f**k about them, and this with years won't be better. The other, younger one will make his own way, and they'll "see" him max. at their funeral.
Agreed. It's just common sense when you have more than one kid. Parents were showing blatant favoritism and got called out on it.
Load More Replies...Use the car, get a job, set up your college/scholarship/student loans, move out, go make an excellent life, and don't bother with your parents or brother again. I'm getting a serious vibe of "we didn't want/plan the second child" so you're always treated as second best in everything. Even your brother seems to have relished being lorded over you in this situation. Not even a 'Happy Birthday" text or call from him? Cold. I don't think you'll find from this family anything you really need, the love, acceptance and respect that should be there simply isn't. Best to just move on and find people who celebrate you as much as anyone else. Best of luck.
Sounds like the parents think he is the accidental child! My mom had my older sister at age 19 and then me in 1962. And then surprise, surprise we had a third baby in the house. Never ever have my parents treated any of us 3 girls differently, no favouritism. We loved my folks accident and spoiled her gladly. She is still a great joy and i have a sense of gratitude for having her in my life.
Load More Replies...Your parents are assholes. Get out of there as fast as you can. You did nothing wrong.
Honestly I would get a job and pay my parents back for the car so they didn't have anything to hold over me and then move tf out. Mom, Dad you obviously didn't want to get me this car and didn't feel I deserved it and honestly I wouldn't have accepted it had I had any other way to get a job and pay for it myself as it wasn't given to me in the spirit of which a gift is intended so I'll give you the money, you give me the title and we can stop pretending this was ever anything other than an asset you felt shamed into giving me.
It's so gross that he'd have to pay then back when his brother didn't, but these parents feel like the type who will be calling this kid 20 years from now like 'remember when we got you that car?? So you need to do xyz for us'-- better to remove that obligation asap
Load More Replies...they bought the car because they were publicy shamed, use them for food and housing until you can move out and then cut them out of your life.
Yeah seems like it is, if hadn't his grandma interfere they wouldn't give him the car. Sad honestly bc what he asked is reasonable to me, i didnt live in US but i live in an area far from the city where it's hard to get public transportation (and not convenient) so it'll be very limiting if we dont have our own vehicle
Load More Replies...I can understand if they didn't have the money (even if it's because it is used for the brother's tuition) and it's their right to make gifting decisions as parents, but the thing that gets me with this story is that they couldn't be honest about it. 'Your brother worked harder for it' is a trashy excuse that takes the fault/responsibility off the parents and puts it on the OP, without ever having given the OP the specific expectations or requirements for 'working hard' in advance. These parents will find themselves ostracized from the whole family and still blame it on their son and not their own choices. Yuck.
I'm really happy he has the grandmother there so his self esteem isn't completely in the toilet. My my experienced growing up in a family where her brother was showered with lavish gifts. He was such a mommy's boy she kept buying everything for him, he lived with her all his life and kept the house when she died, and he's never had a real job. She just took care of him while my mom's been technically working since she was 12 (I count the babysitting that she did).
My parents had the same mindset. Younger sister was showered with expensive presents and I got nothing. Mother's exact words were ' I don't need you. I have another daughter. ' Fast forward - I got married and had two boys. Sister had no kids. Suddenly its 'Oh, Honey we love you!. Bring our grandchildren over." I said You didn't want me, therefore you don't have grandchildren. ' Parents have passed now and they never met my children. Poor planing on their part.
That's very hurtful to read, how can parents said that when they're the ones who chose to have sex and make the child(ren)? It doesn't makes sense 😤
Load More Replies...Maybe the parents favored the older son because he turned out just like them.. The younger one just had to go and become a decent human being. pfft.
I am the oldest by 7 years. On my 18th, I got a 14 year old car and kicked out of the house. On my brother's 18th, he got a trip to Jamaica and a brand new sports car.
Wow that's messed up. I hope you are thriving without them now.
Load More Replies...I have five brothers who all received cars for their 18th birthdays. I came home on my birthday (I lived independently and was in uni at that time). There were no presents because no one was expecting me. I went with the family to my grandmother's house, thinking I would be a nice surprise. I was told off because I had not been invited. I later received a second had ring with someone else's initials on it.
That really stinks. I'm guessing family reunions aren't in your future and I don't blame you one bit.
Load More Replies...Get a job, finish your college, move out and never come back. If you get a new car somewhere along the way, leave the old subaru at your parents' door and the keys on their table with a "Thanks for everything" message. Don't you ever look back. WTH!
No. Sell the Subaru, & use the money to pay for therapy! He owes those creeps NOTHING.
Load More Replies...So, I can totally relate. My situation is actually much worse but I know how you feel. My sister is in Federal prison and gets treated better than I do, she always has. My sister has nothing....has never had a job, no college, gave up her kids and is doing 20 years for drug trafficking....but what she wants she still gets. I could rant about it all day. It's an extremely hurtful situation and I feel horrible for you. I will say this....speak up now and don't back down. If you don't stand your ground it will never change....even your children will be treated differently. Trust me...I know. Don't base your value or self-worth on any of it....they're the problem not you. Also, I'm proud of you for saying something. That's hard to do. You have nothing to prove. Just be someone you are proud of. That's all that matters.
I know what that feels like. In my country, driving licences are expensive and my siblings got theirs paid for by our genetic donors. Me? Not a dime and from that day, I was "lucky" if they even called. I don't count.
Same. When my father told my siblings he'd go with them in getting their licenses, I chimed in saying I want to get mine too. He just laughed at me. I was so hurt. But now I managed to get mine by myself.
Load More Replies...I am so sorry you had to endure that. That was wrong on so many levels. I know I am not the perfect parent but I've always tried to be fair. Granted there are times that one child got something "better" than another but because of the way they earned it or just dumb luck. For example. My Oldest and Youngest get kind of shafted with stuff sometimes because Youngest is right before Christmas and Oldest is right after. When I was a single mom it was hard to always make ends meet. Parties weren't always a thing due to bills. But I ALWAYS tried to make their special days special in some way. Our tradition was I'd take them out of school or let them stay home and I'd take them to lunch and a movie. 1 on 1 time. But if you buy a car for one you should definitely buy for the other (rest) UNLESS the other child absolutely did not earn the privilege's. (barely passing, not doing chores or whatever the household agreement is) But if both are on even (ish) ground there's no reason.
My parents always tried to even things out fiscally. Like my sister loved makeup and clothes, but I was into video games. So my sister would get like 15 presents for Christmas and I would only get 1 or 2 because mine were more expensive. I was okay with that. I actually had to tell my mom I was okay with combining my Christmas and birthday present so I could get a video game console I wanted. I made her cry one Christmas because I said she could return my clothes and other presents and they could use the money for something else. It took many years and conversations for all of us to understand each other. My mom loves giving gifts. Cards, flowers, things like that. And I think they are a waste of money. Save your $4 for my card and add those up to buy me a microwave or something I actually need.
Load More Replies...I have 3 children 18F, 14M 11M. Can't imagine having favourites. They are all very different, but amazing in their own way. I just can't fathom treating one better/ worse than the rest
Exactly! I was only Blessed with one precious child. Had I been fortunate enough to have more, I would have Loved then EQUALLY, & valued each equally, & treated them all fairly. You are doing it RIGHT. Well done. God bless you & your family. 💗 And, God bless this young man. ❤️
Load More Replies...I was thinking that as well. Maybe mom had an affair and his real parentage came out when he was 10. It wouldn't be the first time.
Load More Replies...This behavior will get worse now that you're over 18. You'll notice your brother and his partner will get better treatment. You'll notice his kids will always get toys. They're doing the bare minimum because you were under 18, once you're an adult and it's social acceptable to make their kids take care of themselves theyll always choose him.
How these parents acted was really appalling. You don't favor one child over the other. You treat them the same. The parents are the ones being brats. Giving their son the silent treatment is uncalled for and childish. The author did nothing wrong. With how these parents are treating their son, they should not be surprised if the son isn't there for them when their time of need comes. Screw them. He would be better served to move out when he can and lead his own life without them. He deserves much better. His parents deserve to be alone. They don't deserve to be called Mom and Dad.
Well said. ❤️ I agree, absolutely, with everything you articulated so well.
Load More Replies...Parents really hate being embarrassed in front of family. My family also celebrates everyone's birthday. One time we go to my aunt's Birthday, and I had to leave my gf at home (mom said this is just a family thing. I'm in my 30's, had been with my gf for a few years, and my younger cousins bring their partners all the time). Anyways, I went to the party, and after a few minutes of conversation and pizza, both my grandmother and one of my aunts asked me "where is Erin today"? That was embarrassing, because they asked loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Everyone looking at me I said, "I was kinda told not to bring anybody". That got awkward fast. People just start looking at my mother. Grandma says, "well that is ridiculous" and aunt Wendy says "We like Erin". Grandma is oldschool no nonsense. She was visibly annoyed, and made a to-go bag full of pizza cake and cookies for me to take back to Erin. Mom didn't talk to me for weeks. The gf was happy with me though :)
It wasn't a parent, but a SIL who basically trapped my brother. She was furious that another brother & his wife invited my hubby & I to a fund-raising event. She was livid! She hated my husband, felt I was a spoiled brat & she did not even know us! That was over 30 years ago. Her feelings haven't changed. I tolerate her for my mom's sake & my hubby just ignores her. My parents welcomed my hubby with open arms. Daddy treated him as a son. I loved watching them together. I know I picked a good man. And I won't let anyone belittle him without letting them know Daddy actually LOVED him, so there!!
Load More Replies...Divorce your parents and brother. Make a happy life for yourself and move as far as you can as soon as you can. Enjoy the rest of your life by being your own family until you meet the person for you. In the meantime, pave your own way. My daughter asked me one day( she was about 11 ) do I have to love my family? I said you had no choice to be in this family, so, no you don't have to love everyone in your family. But you do get to pick your friends. So choose wisely and love your friends that you feel close to.
Been there brother. Move out and get as far away as you can. Don’t ever look back. Toxic DNA is the worst kind of relations you can have. Worked my way thru college and grad school, moved across country and was very successful. You do the same…it pisses them off.
Nothing pisses them off more than being proven unnecessary.
Load More Replies...I say just go do what you plan to do. Get your job, go to school and in a couple years of not talking to them, just write a check for however much the car was plus the insurance they paid for and mail it to your parents. Bet your older brother won't do that
From experience, I know that writing a check to pay his parents back is not going to garnish the reaction you’re hoping for….especially from HIS parents. He should not send his parents a dime for anything. As for the, “bet you’re older brother wouldn’t do it” comment, of course his older brother wouldn’t do it. His older brother is the golden child and there is nothing he can do, including paying his parents back, that will turn their eyes away from their golden child.
Load More Replies...This poor guy. His parents obviously love the other one more. I hope he finds an amazing partner and lives a fantastic life and doesn't look back.
YUP!!! My "family" is mostly like 8-10 friends. Friends who have been with my hubby & I for the last 4 years or so, we went through a horrible time in '18 & lost basically everyone in our circle. But we love the "family" we pieced together. If we find others who fit, we might add them in. :)
Load More Replies...Its the reverse for me. 100%. I was the older child and my sister the youngest. I was treated like the black sheep and my sister wasn't. My mother tried to help me in my situations, but I was always told to find a way, and they would bail my sister out for anything that happened. I've let it go...I made my own way. Bought a house, got married( basically paid for my own wedding because they did not want to help her parents helped with half, my parents gave me ,400 bucks for flowers.) In the long run, the only thing you can't count on is yourself and no one else. Make your own way and be proud of the things you accomplish. I've done these things and going on 6th year of being away and owning my house, my parents have never seen me one time.
My parents bought my older sister a classic 1955 Buick when she graduated high school. I was hoping for a car but my Japanese mom said I didn't deserve one. My uncle tried to give me a car and my parents made a big stink. He would let me drive it when I needed to get somewhere and didn't have a ride. My parents didn't like that either. I had a full scholarship to a nearby university but gave it up to move to another state. My sister was always the perfect one. I heard, "why can't you be more like your sister" for most of my life. I moved away, got a job, bought a car, and went to college all on my own.
Make sure you get therapy, too. Sometimes I think parents crush a child of their choosing so that they have someone to take care of them when they're older. The child tries to prove their love to the parents by being their slave in order to receive love back. It never works.
Load More Replies...Why is everyone telling this kid that he owes his parents??? It's freaking absurd! That is his car~~he EARNED it through hard work and even more dedication than his brother provided. Enough of trying to get the kid to believe he isn't good enough~~HE IS!
Load More Replies...Karma is coming for those parents. Their firstborn favorite is going to abandon them in their golden years when they need help and I hope their secondborn does the same, but he sounds like he probably won't. I feel bad for him and ONLY him...
As the youngest in the family, was told when I graduated HS, that I was unplanned but they raised me anyway. Oldest sent to college, I was told to get a job. Oldest's birthday received a very nice gift, 2nd received a card with money, and I just received a card. Yes, favoritism is alive in many families.
Mine was reversed. I am the youngest of 7 in a farming family that struggled to make ends meet at times. Eldest sister was livid when she got pregnant at 16 & was told to "marry & move out". There was still 5 children under 12 at home! I was but a toddler! There was only 1 of my 4 brothers in the home when I hit HS. Mom & Dad had more time & money. Mostly cause only 2 kids not 7 at home! I am still referred to as "the spoiled baby". Right. I was the one who stayed out of big trouble, like getting pregnant or an alcoholic druggie at 16 as my sisters did. Stay close to home to help around the ranch & my mom's parents. I strove to never disappoint my parents, I hated the look they'd give. I earned what I got by not being "a worry/problem" & above all respecting our parents, in spite of any of their "failures or shortcomings". To me, I always saw them trying. But I guess my sisters only saw flaws. And that is THEIR LOSS.
Load More Replies...I think the guy handled the situation in a fair and mature way. His parents begrudgingly corrected their mistake but still blamed him for calling them out for it. He is fortunate that his grandparents see what is happening and try to point that out to his parents. Hope he appreciates them and keeps a close relationship. His parents will probably always favor the older child.
Obviously I don't know you but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I have a feeling you will be extremely successful because you know how to speak up for yourself. Bravo! I would be proud to have you as a child.
You op will grow, strive and become a decent human being. Stay strong and like all others have advised...leave the toxic behind. Move forward, don't look back! I am wishing for you a healthy and profitable life
Weird how this favourite child thing alway blows up in their faces. The favoured child always turns into an underachieving, unmotivated brat mooching of the parents till the end, while the ‘Cinderella’ child find there way to self sufficiently, independence, and even success, after their parents salty/unfair treatment.
It hurts when your parents play obvious favorites with your siblings. These will also be the same parents that will constantly complain because he won't visit them anymore - once he can, he will be as far away from them as possible. They made their bed, now let the other brother help them lay in it
Wow, someone nominate those heartless jerks for Parents of the Year.
Dude, this kid seems like a great fucken kid. He's got his head on straight. He understands his privilege. He did everything right and his parents clearly played favorites. I would be so proud to have a kid like this. Seriously. If I ever have a son. I hope he is as respectful, smart, kind & considerate as this young man. They should feel fucken blessed that this is their kid. Idk how two inconsiderate assholes raised such a great kid. But I'm willing to be that the rest of the family had more to do with it than the parents. I'm happy he atleast has a family that supports him and sees the truth of it all. I'm the youngest child. I'm also the only girl. So I was treated different as is. But my mother ALWAYS played favorites with both my brothers over me. N it hurt. So I know how it feels. Luckily my dad and I were always really close n that made up for it. But this kid seems to have gotten the s**t end of the stick with both parents.
I don’t mean to sound old fashioned or heartless, but this is why you don’t buy cars as a graduation gift.
Load More Replies...The parents gave him the car but made sure that it was as joyless as possible for him. I suspect, now that the golden child is in college and they are paying for that, they don’t have the disposable income they once did and the first thing they cut was anything for OP. I think OP realizes that golden child is going to get his college paid for but there won’t be anything left for him. It’s loans and maybe an appeal to the grandparents. I feel sorry for him- no one in the family is able to spackle over the fact that his parents have a favourite and it isn’t him.
I shared this story in part on another story. My brother was 10 years older than me. Grandfather bought him a new 1957 Chevy the day before they were to be released to the general public. Several years later Grandfather bought my sister acsecond-hand car of her choice (she had 2 kids at the time and her husband was in the Navy overseas). GrandPa died and when I got my license, Grandmother gave me a bank savings account with $10 in it. Was it upsetting? Yes. Did I survive? Absolutely. And our "kids" and grandkids are treated equally when gifting and with unconditional love, always. You can't change the past, but you don't have to repeat it in the present (or beyond).
That isn't favoritism but rather your family's situation changed. I wouldn't be upset over that either. It's apples and oranges from this young man's story.
Load More Replies...I went through the same thing I had an allowance of 5.00 a week back then it wasn't bad but my brother who was 5 yrs younger got 15 and a truck. My older brother was in sports so of course HE had to have the best shoes. I had to work at 14 to buy school clothes. When my dad past I could be a witness to his will he left some to my mom when she should have gotten everything. Brothers and even my ex SIL was given money but then I found out my dad was REALLY close to her. Good thing is I didn't shed a tear over him and still hate him so I don't miss him at al. My advice to you is save your money from your job and get out of that house as soon as possible. Your parents are not going to change, they may act like it to your face but behind your back they won't.
I agree with him 100% You should never show any kind of favoritism towards your children. My fiance is messed up for this very reason. I was gifted a family car by my father my junior year of high school. I then within a year wrecked it once and ripped the bottom of the transmission off jumping a pair of railroad tracks in my hometown. To be fair I always wanted to do it since I was 7, Dukes of Hazzard style. It wasn't epic like that instead, I had to ride the school bus for a month as a senior. Weeks later my dad got me another used car. I rode that thing till the wheels fell off with 190k on it. I then failed to go to college worked horrid menial jobs until I was 35. My little brother on the other hand went through 3 years of college, got my grandma's car finished his degree and went on to bigger and better things than I did when I was his age. He has purchased his own past two vehicles. I purchased my very first the year I went to college. So, my little bro taught me.
Such blatant favoritism. Never favor one child. If you can't help feeling it, you keep that s**t to yourself and don't let your actions show it. It will affect a child their whole life. I see how it affected my husband and it's heartbreaking.
Wow! These parents to quit deflecting their screw ups on this kid before they end up lonely parents wondering why their kids dont visit. The oldest is already showing that. But OP they ate toxic and you seem like you may ve better have at arms length of this relationship. My dad did the same with me and my bro. I am female and he is male. I am the oldest and he the youngest but yet my dad literally cleaned every mess he made until he was 30 and left me to figure stuff out on my own when i needed him the most. Best thing i did for me and my fam was quit that toxic cycle
If I did this with socks there would be war. Treat them the same, or else you're a prick.
I know what your going through. Family is to stick together always. But I walked away in 2016 and never looked back. There is 5 of us Im second oldest. Ive loaned money to some never got it back. Helped when asked. Gave money to my Mom to support us...worked hard for my first car..a new 1978 camaro I bought and paid for. I took nothing from anyone...at family get togethers I was picked on for anything and always.. I took it for years, now no more. They can all go to hell! I dont need that type of evil in my life. Make your life be happy for where you are and going.. Make a life you can be proud of. Family is not always the answer. Some of us just don't get that family. Walking away is best for all. Save up buy a car take the other one back put the keys in an envelope and put it in their mail box. Or put money they paid for the car and insurance in an envelope with a note: thanks for the help. Your family will never be what you would like. You'll be fine!
I feel for you, my brother 3 years younger than I and was diagnosed with major depression at 6 my parents divorced a year later and they both did everything they could for him. For me, my grandmother did as much as she could. I always wanted to be a daddy's girl only my dad had his son and that's what mattered. My dad is now suffering from Lewy Body Dementia and he asked the same question everytime I would call. "Have you heard from your brother" And I had accepted that that was how it would always be. But its not, my Dad remembers me now and doesn't ask about my brother now nearly as often. His long term memories are what he has. He calls me with questions and movies, music and most of the time I can get what it is trying to remember.
Reading ur story made me sad. U r just as deserving of love and fair treatment as your brother. Your parents are obviously making a mistake and mistreating you. Family drama is hard. I have had my share of it. The best piece of advice I can give is to give your time and love to the people who really care about u and just focus on them and dont worry too much about the rest. Relationships are a two way street. I hope you find a great job and do well for yourself. Be sure to always stand up for yourself.
I'm the oldest (1st born) and female and have a brother 6 yrs younger. My mother worships the ground he walks on and even has said to my face he's her favorite. This MAN is 38yrs old and never lifts a finger to even wash his own dish. He gets coddled while I get criticized and called names. The first born isn't always the favorite but in my case it's cause I'm female
I got the same treatment. My brother received several cars, my sister got a new car for college, I got, "Pay us room and board." When my parents were old and sick, who showed up to take care of them? Me.
I have a friend who was the younger brother and clearly the favorite. His wife was never good enough for them. He ended up writing them out of his life. Only the older, not-favorite son keeps in contact. And usually they ask about the other brother. So basically they've managed to estrange both sons. Sadly it doesn't sound like that's what is happening here. More like the older brother is the entitled a** his parents groomed him to be.
Ya literally had the exact same situation but it wasn't even my parents money, it was my grandparents money who are literally dirt poor from an ex soviet country and i dont even know how they saved up enough money for me and my sister to get cars. My mom never told me how much money it was but my grandmother assured me it would be enough for both of us to get a car. My sister got a used passat for 10k, this was back in like 2005 and a new civic was 12k. When I got my license I was told that I would be getting our old 1991 vw Eurovan that was falling apart, it was literally worth more as scrap metal. Never even got answere why when I asked where the money went and pointed out this wasn't even their money and it was meant for a specific purpose. And just for context my sister moved out to live with her boyfriend at 17 and even though there was legitimate reasons for this it was infuriating when I went straight to college from high school.
Y’all sound stupid. Kids get treated differently. So what he didn’t get a car. You are in different financial places they had a kid in college at that point. And we don’t know if this kid was bad. You just take his word that he isn’t a butthead. I have a big family we all got treated differently be cause we were all different with different needs. I got cars but my siblings didn’t. But I had to pay them back. I was just more responsible. I always paid them back and worked around the house. I washed the cars. I took care of my parents my other brothers and sister just are not like that. Great kids but just not overly giving like me. And that’s fine. I got some crappy presents too. But I’d rather watch my brothers get treated better than me every day than to have some weird resentment for my parents ever. I still spoil them. Who cares about what they give you or do for you. You people are really mean.
Ridiculous! Your parents didn’t owe you a car. No two children are the same; similarity in grades in no way means similarity in attitude. Finally, if you are considering following the advice of these commenters and abandoning your parents over a used car…. My advise, choose your family over a car. Oh and grow up.
I think you should attend to your own all too obvious issues before judging others. As to your bizarre take on this can l suggest a night class in reading comprehension as you clearly and wilfully misinterpret words.
Load More Replies...They should have gotten him a car. It would be different if they didn't have the money. Sounds like the older kid wasn't very grateful but the younger would have been grateful. You can't do for one without the other. If I was the kid, I would take the car, get a job and pay them back the money since they are being nasty about it.
I'm sorry that such a monumental birthday was pretty much ruined for you. You are a good kid and did absolutely nothing wrong. Get your pt job, go to college and be a great success for yourself. You deserve it.
You did nothing wrong. But don't forget, you have a Subaru! Not just a Lexus... ;)
To be honest you pulled a d**k move. My sister got a car for her 19th Birthday. When I was a senior in high school I was wishing for a car and actually thought they bought me one cause a neighbor bought a used car and left it parked on the street for 2 months. Turns out my parent just bought me a PS4 game lol. I had to buy my own car after 3 years of saving up. For the first 3 years of college I would wake up early drop my parents(alternating) to work and take their car to school. Then pick them back up 2or 3 hours after school. I understand that life is not fair and there are different circumstances to situations. In our case, our parents now have to pay for our siblings school and other things that are unknown to us.
I have children. They each have their own personalities, wants and needs. The author assumes he knows how much money his parents have. I read about a car and birthday parties. He was able to obtain his car by confronting his parents during his birthday party in the presence of family members. That whole "I tried to be discreet" is just a bunch of passive aggressive dribble. It caused a rift in the family. He gets to look put upon and his parents made to look like the bad guys. The same parents who raised and supported him until he could take care of himself. There's nothing in the article that mentioned he was physically or verbally abused. If he wanted a car for his birthday, he could have asked. Instead he made a bunch of assumptions and was disappointed when his fantasy didn't come true. He wants to compare his relationship to his parents with his brother. He'll probably always compare himself with his brother. This isn't about the car, it's about his self-centeredness.
I grew up the youngest of 7. All my life I wore hand-me-downs, mostly from my brothers. My sisters trashed their clothes so I never wore a stitch of their clothes. When I was 3, my eldest sister got pregnant at 16. She was furious that my parents wouldn't allow her to stay in the family home. Cause Mom had her hands with kids (5 of us under 12) & helping Daddy run the ranch. We were NOT wealthy, actually pretty poor. My sisters were always a handful with partying. I grew up watching our parents disappointment. I stayed out of trouble, just never saw a reason to act out. My 2 sisters called me "the spoiled baby" to this day! I'm in my late 50s! No, I just tried hard not to disappoint them, that look would kill me. They're still bitter at my closeness with Mom & Dad. Since Dad passed in 2000, they have stopped being in touch with our Mom who is 94. pathetic
First of all I'm deeply sorry this is happening to you..I come from 3 children and I am the middle child and had to live through all this...almost identical...I often wondered if I was secretly adopted or the product of an affair cuz why else wud they treat one of their kids this way. Anyways I often heard myself from friends and family just get out of the house...the situation is toxic and you need to get away from it but they are your family and it still hurts. Always wondering what u did to not warrant the same attention and love. I got very sick and now I'm treated like a horrific burden...I constantly feel like I'm being kicked while I'm down. So I'm I have no amazing words of wisdom for you but I share your pain. The rest of your family seems very supportive so maybe that will eventually open your parents eyes to their behavior. Wishing u the best.
All children should be loved equally. What a shame shame shame on these parents. Poor kid. It was their choice to have more than one child!
Im wondering if the OP is a product of an affair or born around the time of an affair. There is clear resentment towards the OP and is classic to some marital trauma that happened when the recipient was young. These parents need serious therapy. Never take your issues out on your kids.
I have two older siblings I'm the last child and like the one that posted this I was treated differently
This is just sad. To put it mildly, his parents are complete jerks. I'm glad he has a grandmother who is willing to call his parents out for this and reassure him he didn't do anything wrong. At least thats some consolation. But his parents act like children in this situation. If there was a real, valid reason why they didn't give him the same treatment as his brother, they'd take him aside and explain to him instead of blaming him for "humiliating" them (i.e. bringing attention to what THEY did). My parents sucked, but at least they treated all of us kids equally horribly
Sounds like cutting ties to the parents asap would be a good idea. If they didn't care much for the younger son before the party then it definitely will be much worse now that they feel publicly shamed after. It's an unfortunate situation but probably for the best to distance from them at least for the time being. Maybe they can repair things down the line but I wouldn't count on that.
Being treated like crap basically all my life by family, I'd say disown the brother because like who cares. Regarding the parents, if you intend to go off to college, hopefully get an on-campus apartment (not sure how on-site campuses work tbh) if it's not too inconvenient, and ditch the parents. Thrive in your life and do what's best for you and watch the lot of them feel bad!
Sounds like a variation of my life, except my older sibling was my sister. There's only 2 of us and I'm the son. I won't list the issues, but 30 years later, I am over them. My sister grew to be a horrible narcissistic nut job who treated my parents and extended family horribly. And I spent way too much of my life trying to sort my family out in my teens/20s. I often think if I could do it again, I would have left my family sooner...like joined the Navy at 18, taken a non-combat, marketable job, and focused on getting my education squared away while I was in uniform, then build a life for myself when I was out. I did the above, but about 10 years later. I have a good life. My sister is estranged. After my father died, I stepped in to help my mom. My mom, me, and my family now live within minutes of each other and have a great relationship. It has turned out better than I could have ever imagined at 18. My sister is still the anti-Christ, but we moved far, far away from her...
Well... My older sister got a brand new Celica GTS , back around 2002-2003. My parents ended up getting a divorce. I ended up getting a hand me down Plymouth Sundance from a relative that died, my grandpa drove it from Maryland to Virginia so I could have it. I noticed at a young age I was treated different, my older sister got real awesome stuff, while I didn't get much of anything.. I ended up accepting how things were by 17. Probably when she got the car. She did very well in sports,made jv in middle school, varsity in 9th, played for a regional team and even for a international team. I didn't do as well as she did in her sport.
Good... You should, you ungrateful f**k. Do them a favor.
Load More Replies...This happened to me as well. My brother was always coddled a d was a mama's boy. I grew up very fast in this environment. At 18, because I did work and my brother never did, even through college, I had saved enough to.purchase a car. It was a 1974 Toyota Corolla 2 door, stick. I paid for the insurance also. I worked two jobs in college studying biology and German. When my mom, who moved in with my daughter and I was dying, my brother wrote me by text to never write, call or there would be legal consequences. My daughter and I took care of her through catheter, diapers watching her skin fall off her. It was the most horrible thing, especially since my brother was no where to be seen or heard from. He was the prince of the family since my dad died when I was 14 and my brother 16. I decided then that I would do the very best in life and not absorb the toxicity. This gentleman is learning what's what and is handling thus like a grown man. I applaud him!
Unfortunately, the parents thought that they could get by with doing the very least for this young man, but they got caught and called out on it. They got mad at him because they GOT CAUGHT! Thankfully, this young man has people in his corner who love and support him despite how his parents feel about him. Never treat a child like they're a mistake because, eventually, they're going to make you realize that your mistake was not loving and supporting them when you need them the most. I wish you all the best in life, young man. There's people in this world who love and support you, even though you don't know them.
Spoiled kid! I wonder if they considered any outside circumstances? Financial situations may have changed, plans might not have come to gather as hoped, they may have even assumed that the younger son wanted a low key birthday party. I really wonder if the gifted car wasn't already in the process if happening & then OP just ruined the surprise. Either way, I do not think that OP should have received the car as a gift at that time as they were not mature enough for the responsibility and privilege.
Your brothers birthday was in 2020 which means that they were probably planning it for a while and had the money. As we all know things got strained since the pandemic, both car prices and gas prices have gone up so even though it seems they can afford doesn't necessarily mean they can. Parents hide many things from their kids and other family members. Do you know for a fact that they can comfortably pay the insurance for all the cars ? Young drivers insurance is higher than established drivers. In addition, your brother got a partial scholarship which means they need to pay less for his schooling. Doesn't sound like you have the same situation which means they need to dish out more for you. More money for your school plus post-pandemic prices plus insurance for you equals you get less than your brother.
I'm curious as to what was it, that your brother worked harder at then you, for him to have deserved the car more? Feel like something is missing from this story. You started to say something about it, then stopped and moved on. Curious 🧐?
I'd like to hear the parents side of the story. Just wondering if their love is less for a reason.
As parents we try to keep things "fair". Some kids need more help than others. One might need an hour a night if help with homework, while the other doesn't. One might need a lot of emotional support or one might have caused a lot of problems. Ive had one beg me daily for driving lessons while one wanted to play games alone in their room. Was that fair? I think so. Unless you are there, you cant know the thought process. Maybe these people are aweful, maybe their actions make perfect sense.
Counterpoint: Maybe a crisis has happened the last two years? You may have missed it... Maybe there's financial issues to a good part of the population and it's come to his door? Strange not a word about that.
Then they could have simply told him so when he dropped hints that he was expecting a car for his birthday.
Load More Replies...Get a job. Earn 1600$ and give it to your parents. I'd hate being beholden to anyone who begrudgingly gave me something after being shamed by family.
the spoiled firstborn brat is going to abandon them and the second son is going not to want them in his life, well played.... The OP didint demanded a car, he just asked why he didint get one and why his older brother got one, if i were in OP shoes, i would throw carkeys back to them telling them that i didnt want a pitty present becase my feelings are hurt, that i just wanted to be threated like equal.... (i have two older brothers, so i know the favoritism, and to be honest, i dont speak with my brothers, becase i dont consider them a brothers, just relatives, but not brothers.)
We bought a car for our eldest daughter when she got her driver's license. This was so she could help drive her siblings to after school activities. When she left home, her younger sister and brother had the use of the car. Never in their names though because that would have made insurance impossibly expensive.
From the info available here, it would seem that the parents are at fault. Obvious favoritism, it seems. That could also explain the older brothers coldness, he would feel of more value if the parents treated him so. But there is usually more to it.
YTA. Instead of demanding the obscene gift of a car worth multiple thousands for no other reason than someone else got that, go get a job and ride a bicycle instead. Enforcing equality of outcome for no other reason than parity is dictatorial nonsense. Work towards your OWN goals, without benchmarking against others. Do YOUR best, not just whatever someone else did. Stop comparing yourself to this brother and I guarantee you your parents will finally see you as your own man. Grab a copy of Peterson's "12 Rules" and give that a read, you might be surprised what you learn about yourself.
I felt this one. I'm the eldest. When my grades slipped in from a 4.0 to a 3.85 my Dad informed me that he wouldn't sign for me to get my driver's license. My stepmother intervened and he relented. Even WITH a driver's license I wasn't allowed to drive the 10 year old Toyota (the car my stepmother had in college). My brother was kicked out of not one, but two different high schools and ended up going to a continuation school (mainly because he was a chronic pothead). For HIS 16th birthday (after I'd moved out) my Dad gave him a Red 1967 Ford Mustang. Him being the "golden child" had always been apparent, but I could never really be mad at him for it. He was always pretty cool about sharing the spoils when he got away with something. ($100 for ski boot bindings? In July? In San Diego, CA???)
We as a society have a long way to go when it comes to our understanding of how relationships within the family should be. We condemn toxicity and all forms of abuse, but not when it comes from parents. I stopped talking to my parents because of their toxicity, egocentric and narcissistic behavior that left a lot of mental and emotional trauma for me. But when people find out I don't talk to them, I get a lot of "those are your parents, you should forgive them," or "you only get one mom." Just a lot of people pushing for me to go back to the trauma and abuse. I feel for this kid completely. It really sucks to be in a home environment that makes you constantly question yourself and makes you feel like the Black sheep. I hope he manages to leave that household, and never look back.
That was no present. A gift given so grudgingly is an insult. What are you thanking them for anyway? They sound really cold, and nasty. I would feel mortally wounded. I take my pain very silently, unfortunately. I suffer in silence just to avoid such distasteful behaviour. I have not spoken to some close relatives in nearly 30 years. Some want me to forgive them, but I say if I do, then I am giving them carte blanch to repeat their hurt.
Middle child here: I did not get the dental care and braces I severely needed, I did not get my college paid for or help with a car purchase. I moved out at 16, My oldest brother was king and could do no wrong, my sister was the privileged child. There were 5 of us 3 old brothers and a younger sister. The 3 of us had a very hard childhood. When my parent grew old guess who had to take care of them? Yes, it was me. I tried for years not to be bitter. The 3 of us had divorces, drug abuse, and difficulty finding our purpose in life. One committed suicide the other moved away. Parents are very wrong when they say they don't have favorites. Oh yes, the oldest became a millionaire and was a royal a*****e to my parents the youngest also has done very well and their children have prospered.
I really feel how upset you are. And it is really heartbreaking. In as much as I want to tell you to just move on with your life and forget about your parents, I think what’s better is for you to do your best and be the best that you can be, try to forget that your parents treated you this way, and just continue on loving and being good to them, Eventually, they will realize their mistake. After all, they are still your parents.
You were right. I would have swallowed it down and come out about it years later. I used to be that way when I way a kid.
I think the best approach is to never give up on love and family. Keep trying to communicate and understand eachother. Sometimes this task can feel impossible, but i believe you can solve these issues and heal your family relationships if everyone involved has patience, understanding, and the will to communicate through some hard topics. It will also be crucial to forgive whole-heartedly and unconditionally in order to get the best result. I wish you luck! It only seems like a tough path at the moment, but I believe in you!
The best gift I have given myself is acceptance that there is favoritism in my family, not in my favour, but my parents do love me and I'm okay regardless. I just stopped letting it matter to me and enjoy the happy life I have cultivated for myself with what I did get. Just stop believing the narrative that you will only be okay if everything is fair. It isn't. And you can still be okay.
Wow man. Entitled much. You did blackmail your parents and you should be ashamed. Your parents raised you bud. Greedy and spoiled aren't what I would use.
I hope you read the story it well. You wouldn’t be saying such thing, if you tried to understand it,
Load More Replies...My grandparents did the same thing to me. One cousin had a paid trip to Disney world, another got a car and when I graduated, I got nothing except the promise of an old computer that my grandfather was using, once he got a new one. Then 2 years later it was given to me when I had already saved up and built my own new computer. They also played favorites when it came to needing a place to stay, giving my cousin a room for free, but asking me to pay several hundreds of dollars to sleep on the living room floor.
My parents treated me differently also than my twin sister, I know it hurts. My father built her a house, I had to figure out everything on my own. I'm still a little angry at them, even now at age 58! It sounds like we had the same kind of parents in a way. Stay strong, make your own way in life as I did. Get out asap and never go back. Hope you feel better one day.
His parents are so cold. It's obvious that they show favoritism, his grandmother is right. And if it wasn't for his grandmother eavesdropping, he wouldn't even have gotten the Subaru and they would have just gotten pissed and turn it around by making him feel like he's spoiled. Parents, love your children equally when you have more than one. Even if there are children involved that were not planned. Or children from another parent. Make sure each kid gets equally treated and equally loved. Either all your kids get cars on their 18th or none. It's simple as that. When you treat your kids equally, you'll be rewarded with a peaceful home filled with love, children who care about you even after they move out, and a good old day. When you show favoritism, your house will be filled with strive and jealousy, and children who will only be happy to leave. Maybe the favorite will stay in touch, and maybe when you're lucky the other one will continue to try because they aren't willing to give up on their parents. But it makes for a lot of bitterness and emotional damage that will even pass to your grandchildren. I even see it in my family. One of my cousins no matter how sweet he is has emotional damage because his father is emotional damaged by the fact that his mother favored his brother. So consider that if you favor one child over the other, even your grandkids get damaged in the long run. You're damaging generations to come.
So glad I was an only child. And I have one child. I have seen this happen over and over in other families.
This is not about getting a car. Kid is victim signaling. Parents tend to parent on performance and behavior. Kid spouts off grades and not behavior. Is he lacking indepedence in managing himself? How does he contribute to the family unit? Fatal error in his story here. No empathy noted. He used the princess,dragon,knight story method. He's the damsel in distress, parents are the dragon, granny is the knight. As a mediator I'd maneuver him to considering reasons why they didn't reward him the same way his brother gets rewards. Whay incentives does the brother deliver to warrant more parental support than he is doing? Also, without the parental viewpoint this article is just to myopic and thin sliced to conclude that he is actually in a toxic situation.
Your own issues are on brightly lit display here. You do get that, right?
Load More Replies...At least my mother treated me equally, the same with my younger brother. It's my father who showed favoritism. And I thought being the firstborn, I get all the attention. But apparently not! My brother wanted a new phone and my father willlingly paid cold hard cash for it. And mind you, I didn't ask for any electronics. But when they came home, I got a 2nd apple mp3 player. At first, I thought my father was being nice in not trying to show favortism. Until his next words really hurt me. He said : "I got you the mp3 so you wouldn't b***h about any sort of favortism." Like wow! I didn't even ask for that. Few years later, I threw the mp3 back at his face and told him to f**k off my my personal space.
As a non-american I always feel weird about these expectations for the 16th or 18th birthday. Where I am from you are glad if your parents gift you the money for driving school for your 18th birthday, maybe a cool trip but not a damn car. Op said he didnt expected to be treated the same like his older Brother and then said he expected the same treatment for his 18th birthday. As the oldest kid in my family, my parents had certain expectations in me they didnt had in my younger sister. And if these expectations were met, I got rewarded. My sister did not. What we learn from this is to not expect anything from anyone unless you are prepared to be disappointed.
My sister got a car when she graduated high school. I got luggage.....I laughed it off, but it always hurt
I think this should be a motivation to make a better life for yourself. Prove to yourself, not to your parents or brother that you can do anything you set your mind to. Make the best of your life. Work, go to college, fall in love... etc... let this incident be your motivation to be the next president of this country or the ceo of any other company... best of luck kiddo!!!
💭SPOILED AND ENTiTLED .. YOUR PARENTS OWE YOU NOTHING BUT THR LOVE , so many children are raised in homes WHR thr is abuse, drug abuse & absentee parents , how about focusing on what they have done, did do & continue to do which is FINANCIALLY SUPPORT YOU AND TRY & BE GRATEFUL FOR THT looks like you spend most of the time seeing & complaining Abt what your brother is given & have lost sight of what you have been given , I especially like the fact how you went all in detail Abt what kind of cake he had but all you said about yours was "it was store bought" , I'M SORRY BUT NO LOVE HERE I validate your feelings but ALL I SEE A SPOILED AND ENTITLED BOY (you can give a boy a fish & he'll eat for a day BUT IF YOU TEACH HIM TO FiSH HE WON'T GO HUNGRY) `ever think tht maybe your Parents seen things in your brother after "thr so many gifts" tht they didn't want to instill in you 🤨🤌 of course not CAUSE ALL YOU SEEN WAS (I DIDN'T GET WHAT I WANTED ..
Time to deal with your own tragic issues before having a go at other people's. I say this sincerely - l pity you, if only for all the rage, hate and spite in your post
Load More Replies...💭Spoiled And Entitled .. Parents Owe You Nothing But To LOVE YOU , so many children are raised is abusive homes, drug abuse homes, some without the Mom present, some without the Dad present, some without both present , I get you were just wanting to share how you were left out or under appreciated or maybe even disappointed after all "he" got a car so in the back of your mind I'm sure you were so sure you would get one too , but I love how you were so quick to print out every detail of your brothers party down to the making of the cake and kind 🙆 maybe focusing on ALL the things they did do for you 🤔like seeing as you don't live in the city & the closets bus is 10 miles away 🤷who took you to school all THM years & if you don't have a job JuX yet you must need a PHN or some type of electronic device to reach out and share your story 🤔who bought you tht, how bout BEiNG GRATEFUL FOR THE CAKE YOU DiD GET AND THE PARTY YOU DiD GET AND EVERY OTHER THiNG YOUR PARENTS DiD DO FOR ->YOU<-
God, is your anger and malice so great you had to spew this vomit twice?
Load More Replies...I’m sure it’s hard for some of you to imagine, but since you don’t know this person and the parents do, maybe there is some reason that they don’t trust him with a car. A hint might be because he says he’s going to get a part-time job to pay for his student loans. What part time job can he get to pay for his student loans? Pretty much nada! To me that shows that maybe he’s not quite plugged into reality. He’s also talking about being independent, unlike his brother. Why didn’t he just get a part-time job to buy a car? It’s not like they gave his brother a brand new luxury vehicle or anything. Maybe he’s just been more responsible and his negative side from them better than you. Did you ever get caught driving crazy how much speeding we’re going against your parents rules? Hanging around with other people they don’t like? Used drugs or alcohol? Sounds like they don’t trust me maybe As far as money goes you don’t know how your parents are doing financially. Parents always hide that
This reads like the young man's story held up a mirror to you and who you are and you're now making silly excuses because your reflection is honest yet ugly.
Load More Replies...My Mom was a single Mother, I worked from the time I was 14. My first Car was a former Oklahoma State Police Cruiser (73 Plymouth Satellite 383) that my brother and I spent all summer getting to run right. I never expected anything from my Mom. But when I graduated she bought me a Citizen Wristwatch. I cried. So I don’t feel much sympathy.
Totally different story from the young man's but thanks.
Load More Replies...What parents would treat their kids differently? Don’t care if they have issues or adopted or mistakes or anything. I can’t imagine doing that to any child or person. We’re they not loved as as child themselves. Just crazy!!!
Oh, yeah. I can see it know, they'll definitely use this against him. He needs to save his money and RUN
Well all I can say to the Parents of the boy is " Enjoy The Rest of Your Very Very Very Lonely Lives When They Have Their Own Families & Good Luck Ever Seeing Your Grandchildren!!! I have 2 Boys ( now men ) that are 5yrs apart & I Still treated them equally and NEVER played favorites! Any Parent who does that Doesn't Deserve to be Parents...( especially when couples out there are trying to start families of their own & can't) Shame On You!!! You Are Going To Face A Very Lonely Existence In Your Old Age.... Be Prepared!!!
Poor guy!! So many parents wish their kids were as well rounded and behaved as this young man. While it's true that "living well is the best revenge" his parents behavior is super painful stuff and I sure hope that he gets help truly understanding that their terrible behavior is not his fault and will come back to haunt them down the road. You can just tell that he's going to lead a successful life. Best wishes young man!!
No parent wish this. He sounds like a whiny baby who thinks hes entitled to a car. The kid needs to grow up
Load More Replies...I wish BP and other sites wouldn't pull posts from Reddit and use them as articles. The articles are boring and overly wordy, and we can just read it on Reddit. Not to mention it's a thing the Daily Mail does, which just goes to prove it's lame.
I just want to say, great story, Ms. Zinina! Keep writing like this, no matter how far up you go!
I just want to say, great story from Ms. Zinina! Keep writing like this! No matter how up you go, young lady.
I'm really sorry OP that your family treats you this way, truly. Your family are the people you should be able to rely on most :( Favoritism is one of the most destructive things you can wreak on your family, especially as a parent. I am very blessed to have a family that loves us all equally, and I'm now passing that on to our little ones. Even though our son and daughter are too young to speak, when I tell one how much I love them, I tell the other right after ❤️ If you ever have a family of your own I'm sure you'll do the same
Even if they are holding a grudge against you, continue to treat them with kindness. Forgive them for their unfairness. This is how Jesus treated people who treated Him poorly. God forgives us a sinners when we accept His Son Jesus as our Savior so we should extend that same forgiveness onto others.
Can I keep you? I've got grown kids, and now grandkids, but I was always everyone's "bonus" mom. I stay in touch with my kid's friends (and ex's) even if they aren't even friends anymore... I'm still here. I'm so so sorry this kid is having to go thru this. It hurts my heart. Someone needs to love on this kid.
I hope the younger one becomes rich so when the parents see and comes crawling to him with their hands out which they will he can teach them a simple lesson, when someone is in need pay it forward, you didn't without being forced so why should I
Both spoiled to the point of not recognizing loyalty, boundaries and priorities. Your parents don't owe you a dime because they gave you brother one or a thousand for that matter. People use to understand this all kids/people are unique. They can be raised with all the best of everything and still turn out troubled. Unlike your cheering section I recommend you join the service, grow up and learn the valuable lesson that you parents fed you clothed you and put a roof over your head for 18 yrs. Many around the world a probably within 10 miles of your pampered experience do not have it that good. Time away from my parents and family made me appreciate all the more how they treated us all as individuals and it did not seem fair at the time. The effects on our lives though is important we all can stand up and stand out.
Well, that was a revealing post, though not the reasons you probably intended.
Load More Replies...My mother showed favoritism toward me for a few reasons. It always hurt seeing how she treated my little brother. She loved me more because I'm female, her pregnancy with me was intentional and didn't cause a financial strain, I didn't have any expensive health issues, and she preferred my natural talents and temperament over his. She used "boy" as an insult. I got out of there as soon as I could and never looked back because even though, I was her golden child, she still abused me. Just differently.
When I was 14, I was upset that I "looked fat" and her response was to 1) calculate my BMI and tell me that it says I'm a healthy weight, but it's often wrong, 2) make cupcakes, 3) make me feel like a monster for not eating her cupcakes, and 4) shame me for giving in and eating a cupcake. She gaslit, guilted, and manipulated me into doing and thinking so many dumb things. My brother just got openly shamed for things everyone knew he couldn't control.
Load More Replies...Spoiled brat shouldn't expect anything from your parents.stop being a victim
I wonder what your childhood was like if you can post prosaic nothings on here as if it's deep wisdom.
Load More Replies...This is a kid. How does he know what their financial situation is? The last two years have screwed things up for a lot of people. The grandmother should've kept quiet and spoke to them in private. This kid says he never got a job because of the distance. Maybe the brother figured out how to And that's what they think made him a hard worker. There's so much missing from this story and everyone is so quick to side with the op. Everyone is the a*****e/brat here!
The grandmother treated her child the same way the parents treated their kid. She chose sides and then publicly embarrassed them. Sounds like a great matriarch for a dysfunctional family.
Load More Replies...Your "parents" are lousy & don't really deserve the title. I am so sorry. Get out as soon as you can, & make your own way. Keep your other--decent, Loving--relatives close. We all need family. But, forget your "parents" & "brother". They have not treated you like family, &--UNLESS they have some kind of mental, emotional, & Spiritual awakening, realize they have all screwed up TERRIBLY, humble themselves, & do the hard work of making real change in themselves, & doing the serious work required to truly reconcile with you--it is unlikely that they will . It does seem possible that your brother may--people can grow up, mature, evolve, learn new ways of being & doing. He may get out into the world & figure out that your parents were jerks to you & he wasn't much better. He was a kid & just had their teaching, programming, & example, & may have believed it was justified & "right" & you deserved less. Parents hold great sway over their kids & how they see & understand things.
Go out & find the friends & community that you deserve. You ARE worthy of respect, fairness, equality, consideration, being valued, seen, prioritized. There are people in this world who will love you, for you, & treat you they way you deserve to be treated. Please get therapy--being neglected, & mistreated by parents damages us in deep, vicious ways, & we often internalize the abuse & neglect--do not see our OWN worth, mistreat OURSELVES, have no clue how we, & others SHOULD treat us, replicate the abuse/neglect over & over, not KNOWING anything different. A good therapist & healing work will help you to FIND those people who treat you properly, & help you treat yourself properly, & navigate the world & your relationships in a healthy, productive, joyful way. Trust me. You have been badly programmed, & need help in DE-PROGRAMMING & re-programming. You have lived in a cult your whole life, & need to learn to adjust to the "outside world". You DESERVE the happiest, best life possible! ❤️
Load More Replies...I wouldn't get too hung up over your parents being wrong. I was in a similar situation, my parents favored their first child over 'the others'. I just accepted it and carried on with my life. Time took care of the rest. I'd advise you focus on yourself, I wouldn't harbor any resentment towards them as its corrosive and will harm you more than it will them.
Has anyone considered that some unexpected financial hardship may have occurred that no one was aware of? Yes the parents could have explained why not besides the you didn't work as hard for it. If I was the younger now that he has the car, save his money and pay the parents back for it if he really feels he's unfavored. Keep his job and save and move out as soon as he can. I would not want a thing from them.
My parents NEVER showed favoritism. My brother always did much better than I in school. I was ASLEEP. We moved a lot, mama went back to college when I was three. We lived apart for a year and a half. Daddy would come home every month or so. We had to walk every where. I think this affected me emotionally. I wet the bed every night(my poor mama)! I was starting 1st grade. I can see how parents divorcing can really affect children!! We got back together after she graduated and never lived apart again. I finally awakened my senior year. I got my BSN and then later became a CRNA. My parents never made a difference in us. Paid for our college. My brother became an orthopedic surgeon. He was Always a wonderful brother! I can not understand parents favoring certain children. That is just horrible. I feel sorry for this boy. I know he will excel at anything he does. He is a hard worker and he is motivated. He will be much more accomplished that this older brother(if you can call him that!
Exactly why I always gave my 2 girls combined bday parties, and the Exact same gifts. Now it's my 2 gdaughters.....cause what if I couldn't afford the same on the 2nd bday....
Make your own way my friend. At least your grandparents have a sense of fairness. You approached this issue in a respectful manner and you can stick up for yourself which is good.
This young man has more character in his little pinkie than his parents and brother combined. Run, don’t walk from this toxic behavior. Family absolutely IS and supposed to be about love, loyalty and support…..it’s not just defined by blood. Go live your best life and find your joy. Don’t look back.
Sorry your going through that with family! Your in a better situation then how I grew up with a mom on drugs and abandoned us and my dad an alcoholic who ended up in prison twice but passed now. To having our grandparents have to take care of us is where I felt loved and once my dad got out of prison he stepped up as a father. Please pay attention to your intuition your gut feelings because that's most likely your body telling you the truth or somethings not right here you know? You have to make the most of your situations, you make the mood, you set the setting on how you want to be treated in life. Always advocate for yourself you did well speaking up to your parents and calling them out on the obvious. My advice is take good care of that vehicle as it will take good care of you and get you to new opportunities coming your way. Families family there's not much you can do to change them but setting your boundaries calling the shots on what you well accept and what you won't is vital.
You have an awesome grandmother and you seem to have family that cares about you, other than stupid parents and a self-centered brother. Don't worry about them. Do not seek their love which does not exist, nor even for themselves. Take good care of your grandmother and those who love you and think of you. As for stupid parents... no, I wouldn't say anything very wise, but let them beware, it's very often the favorites who will disappoint them later and the outcast who will stand out and make their grandmother proud. Get out of this toxic atmosphere as quickly as possible and don't look back. There are many more loving people on earth.
you sound like a guy with a good head on your shoulders. keep working hard and saving for college. try to apply at places that offer tuition assistance like chic Fila, Arby's, and some other places. live your best life and don't feel guilty about that car. if they bought your brother one, they should have planned to get you something to, without needing to be ashamed by the family. we helped all 3 of ours get first cars, although admittedly we spent a little more on the middle child to get a more reliable car with her being female. they all had gas budgets, insurance help, etc. your parents are jerks, for whatever reason, and you just keep looking forward to your future. make sure if and when you have kids you treat them all equally.
The parents were wrong and got what they deserved! If they knew they were eventually play favorites they shouldn't have bought either of the bros a car. Then they heap even more deserved guilt on their plates by buying kid #2 a cheaper car out of their guilt. Is there any solution to this epic family damage... maybe! The younger kid can study the best siblings kill parents movies to collect ideas, read news stories of family murder plots then carefully craft a plot to 'pay' them back in some dramatic fashion! Hahahahaha...
Being a mom of two girls 9 yrs apart it’s hard to treat them equally I love both of them the same the older one is very jealous of her younger sister idk if it’s because she doesn’t like her dad who I’m with or because she feels she doesn’t get the kind of attention that she gets I try my best to treat them equally but it’s hard when the older one is 12 and her younger sister is 3 I sometimes can’t afford to get things for them on certain occasions and explain that to the older one and sometimes I have the money to get things for them but she still gets upset about it
So what if you dont get treated the same, I didnt and still dont. I dont whine about it or even confront them about it. My 2 older sisters do and they have a toxic relationship with my parents. Our younger sister is the baby and gets ALL the attention. She takes care of nothing because mom and dad will replace it. She has had over 10 cars given to her, and she drove everyone intk the ground 3 trailers bought for her and she only had to pay the lot rent and utilities - which she never would. My 2 older sisters and myself have bought at least 2 houses, bought our own cars after we moved out. When we lived at home, we got just enough to survive. I just enjoy what little time I can with my parents as they wont be here forever. Stop whining about how you are treated, you can do it after they are dead or move out like an adult and quit mooching
If his parents thought he didn't earn it he probably didn't. A lazy person can work 8 hours and still not have a thing accomplished. You wouldn't give that person a raise. Sure they work. Still lazy. So even after you got granny involved and basically blackmailed them into getting you a car. You gunna say and I quote. "And when I thanked my parents, they brushed me off and just went inside.it kind of gave off the vibe that they were letting a brat play with his new toy . which was pretty upsetting and one of the reasons I made this post. .. you are a brat, who blackmailed his parents.. and because they weren't happy you blackmailed them you posted it? adds to the depth of brat.. Call you brat pit. Guess where our 6 year old runs when we won't give him what he wants?..to granny *mic drop*
This breaks my heart as I have grandchildren who are going thru something similar with their Mom, my daughter. You did absolutely nothing wrong and deserve to have a car, just as much as your brother. Love your parents, in spite of this, they will always be your parents. In the end, you will have done the right thing. Enjoy the car, stay in school and make your own way. You sound like a wonderful person. Good luck to you and reach for the stars!
You can stop thanking them for the car. Sounds like you've pretzeled backwards to try to earn their 'love'. Write them off, they probably get off on denying you any sort of validation or fair play. Politeness, then move away and let cold reality be their only future.
His parents behaved just as immaturely as he did and then to give him the silent treatment? I had a flashback to the Timothy Hutton character in the movie Ordunary People, where his mom, played by Mary Tyler Moore, can't get past her resentment of him after his older brother dies in a boating accident and he, her decidedly not favorite son, survives. Heartwrenching movie.
Poor guy! At least it sounds like you are a very responsible, stable and mature young man. You had EVERY right to ask about the car situation. Do NOT feel guilty for ANYTHING! Your parents obviously NEEDED to hear the ugly truth of their blatant, ugly behavior. Most likely they are humiliated (deservedly so) and it is my sincerest HOPE for you, that they are now just trying to figure out how to "fix" the mess they have created. After all, they have done SOMETHING right when you consider the amazing young man you turned out to be. Prayers for your bright future! 🙏
I feel like there's something we're missing from this story. Is it just me? I mean, my mom favors my older sister as well, and it's obvious MOST of the times, but this treatment towards this person is just... it feels surreal? He is literally treated almost like an adopted child that no one wanted. Making such obvious choices in favor of one child feels like a soap opera and not real life. My sister is 5 years older than me and always gets much better presents than me, actually, most of the times I get nothing. My mom and dad are there to help her every single day, dad built an entire house for her, mom cooks, cleans, takes care of her dog. I moved out a while ago and my parents have become almost like strangers. When I ask for smth from them, feels like they never want to do it and whenever the 4 of us are together, only my sister's problems seem to matter. But I am aware that maybe from the outside it's not that bad and maybe it's a thing of circumstances. Maybe... idk.
Sounds perfectly if sadly everyday to me. You might want read the many posts detailing the same situation others have suffered. How odd that you find it surreal.
Load More Replies...Well honestly I still need more info. The parents still have a viewpoint that hasn’t been fully heard. We’re hearing their point of view still from the lens of a child. I have 3 children and there still could be so many factors that haven’t been considered. I’m just creating stories but it could be the first born like in many cases was gifted money from birth on to go towards such a purchase or this child needed car for extra curricular activities which would allow either child to be available to drive sibling to school or themselves to college or or or there are just so may scenarios that would make sense in my mind. The parents should explain but I see they feel betrayed by the younger child bringing it up during the party. It obviously was not the time to discuss it. The grandmother “eavesdropping “ is clear it wasn’t time or place to have conversation.I just don’t have enough info to put parents under the bus. And children’s attitudes account for a lot too not just grades.
Oh dear. Frankly, this reads like the young man's story touched a nerve.
Load More Replies...I come from a pretty petty and manipulative family. We love each other, but there are a number of relationships that aren't repairable and they prefer it that way. That being said, I recently came across a TikTok video that really hit a chord with my soul. The wise man said that there is wordage missing from the phrase "blood is thicker than water". The wording of it makes it seem as though blood relations are a stronger bond than formed relations by choice. A good relationship takes effort and compassion, as well as many other things. The full phrase is actually "blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". It is a phrase soldiers came up with and use in battle. The bond from battle is stronger than the bond if a blood brother. My brother and I have issues. I blocked ha number for a while because I didn't want to deal with his verbal outbursts and abusive words anymore I knew I deserved a break. It was around this last Christmas. Family is rough.
How awful! This young man needs to distance himself from a clearly toxic and destructive relationship with his parents. Blood means nothing when you are treated like that. My mother is an emotional vampire, and I have to limit interactions for my own well-being. Best of luck to you, take care of your well-being and mental health. Your parents seem involved with themselves; I'm sorry.
With a very simple twist, we never do holidays or gifts. For anyone's birthday or graduation or new job, we have them choose the restaurant they want to go to and which night. My husband and I, and all our children are on the invite list. The family "gathers" for a special very relaxing celebration. If the one having the birthday/graduation/job wants to invite any friends or additional relatives, THEY contact the ones they want. We cover it. They haven't ever been unreasonable. We never do gifts for any holidays. If someone needs something, they tell us, any time of the year. Getting "Stuff" has nothing to do with gathering for holidays. On birthdays and Christmas, they choose a charity and we give money to that charity in their name. (E.g., one Christmas they ganged together and chose for us to give a llama through the heifer organization charity.) They have everything they need. They're fine with this system. Removes a LOT of stress.
Bro, you don’t need your parents. If they don’t love you then you need to roll with the punches and move on. Forget about them, go to college, get a job, find someone you love, and start a new life. Leave them in a past. Move forward and don’t look back. You’ll be just fine without them.
I skip over everything pored panda writes in these AITA posts. It sounds like inane rehashing of exactly what's stated in the reddit thread.
Dude....you have a rotten family. You have Beautiful Grandparents, and that's it. You need to realise this, and protect your feelings.. and dump your rotten family.
Jesus you sound like a whiner. Why? My experienced was worse. My brother is 3 years older. My parents lined up cars to see with him, and he didn't even show up. He had better things to do. My Dad got him a Moped. Which my brother complained about. This was Softmore year. He didn't even graduate! His grades were so poor, he had to attend summer school to get a diploma. Then my parents buy him a used car, which he trashed. It lasted 3 years. I was a better student. Graduated high school. Not even a graduation party. And, big surprise, no car. I worked, saved, & bought my own used car, a $1,600 Honda. My 2nd? a BMW, no one bought me that one either. My brother moved on to a Toyota 4 x 4, It was repossessed. Because he spent all his money on a personalized license plate, & tinted windows. Idiot! So I experienced clear favortism from my parents, guess what, I am a better person for it. My brother is a loser. Move on. Get past it. Your parents and brothers sound like jerks. Move on.
That sucks. Hopefully u'll be happier without them when u leave they don't deserve you. Just wondering what they would say if they never got a car for u finally and u were still trying to find a job. Like what would they actually start saying u can't be home all day u need a job. Why are u not home yet ?(the bus comes at so an so time u shoulda been home hrs ago when ur literally walking home). Or have a friend pick u up(if friend can't u should pick better friends). Why did u pick this job u should get a better job(can't really if u can't get there easily an the bus only goes to certain areas). I feel like they woulda made stupid excuses like this if u never got a car to be able to get a job.
Stay close to your grandparents. Cherish the time you have with them. Lavish them with all the love and affection you have and I'm sure they will return it. Don't forget they soon will be gone and you'll regret it if you don't spend as much time as you can with the ones that truly care about you.
My parents have done the same thing with me... my sisters 17 and has been learning to drive... they just bought her a car... im 20 and when i was her age i was told to figure things out myself... they get upset when i say shes there favorite but they have proven it in more ways then just that... i feel for them...
Move on now. You will find friends and a special someone that will bring you into their families by choice.
This whole thing sounds so bizarre. Why would parents treat their children so differently? I am glad that all the other relatives stood up for the OP. He should continue to strengthen his relationships with anyone in the extended family who showed support for him during this time. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. And definitely start working on that self sufficiency plan for work and school.
It is sad that this has happened, but now you know their true colors. Move on, love them, and forgive them, not for them but for you. Maybe this has happened to one of them when they were growing up and this is normal to them Regardless of the reason, you are now old enough to make a life for yourself, finish college, get a great job If you have a family of yourbown one day, remember not to do this to your kids because you know how this feels. If you can re establish a relationship with your brother, that will help because one day your parents won't be here anymore you're anymore. You will only have each other to rely on and be there for each other.
I know a couple who have two daughters. They are very obviously partial to the younger one. The oldest girl has ADD, and she was being made fun of at school, so she was upset and had no friends. She also wasn't athletic. You could tell her parents considered her an embarrassment. The other girl played sports, was popular and got good grades. It was mostly the mother, but the father followed her lead. They swore they didn't have a favorite or made any difference, but everyone who was around them could see it.
He should really read up on scapegoat and golden child, his parents are narcs
How do you get that they are narc from this story?!?!?
Load More Replies...You will make your way and have a better life than your parents and brother because you are a far better person in every way. You have worked hard, given back to your community and tried to honor your family, they don't appreciate what a good man you are becoming. The best thing you can do is live your best life surround yourself with those who value and love you for who you are. Don't ever think any of that behavior is from something you did or deserve it's all on them. So great you had the strength to call them on their behavior! Best wishes for a happy future , you will go far.
A successful, happy life is the best revenge on people who bring you down.
Get out asap! Don't make the mistake of spending the rest of your life trying to win their love. You deserve better.
My Mom had an older brother. When he turned sixteen, he was given a choice: he could have a car or he could have his teeth fixed (braces). Of course, he got a car. Didn't have it a year before he wrecked it. Mom turned sixteen - nothing. She wanted so badly to get her teeth fixed all her life, but she drew the short straw. Now, this young man is lamenting the fact that his parents got his older brother a car for his eighteenth birthday, but not him. I'm just wondering whether it occurred to little bro that maybe Ma and Pa learned their lesson after providing Junior I with wheels? Maybe there was some family drama that he wasn't privy to? Something might have happened that made them regret it and they didn't want to make the same mistake with Junior II. Just a thought 🤔.
Parents can be so inconsistent. Husband has a large family. The oldest 2 each got a car sometime after they got their licenses. Don't know if it was connected to birthday's. Both wrecked their cars. Seemingly as punishment the next two in line weren't even allowed to get their driver's licenses because "you'll wreck your cars too." Smh.
Every child in a family has different parents. Not genetically, but experiential. Good parents will fine tune their parenting to the specific child, but others don't even think of that. These parents, for whatever reason, did a version of the royal family, with the heir to the throne, so to speak, getting better treatment. It may be totally unconscious behavior on their part, but it still hurts. It may also have been a response to a real or imagined slight or misbehavior that they reacted to, or even a reversal of finances that their children don't know about. I don't think severing relations is appropriate. That's for child abuse. This wasn't abuse, just a poor choice on their part.
My moms exuse for my lifelong unfair treatment for me & my 3 kids is just that ive been capable & needed less than my sisters. your parents behavior is just horrible..even though i am a poor single mom with no outside help have always tried to be fair even though for the longest time I had had the closest relationship with my oldest son. My daughter just hated me & my youngest was just very difficult due to his mental health & other disabilities even with that I never compared my children to each other & always understood they each had their own strengths & weaknesses so even though my expectations had to be different I had always pushed each to be the best versions of themselves. Sometimes 1 kid would get more gifts or clothing due to the fact that I always spent a.m. equal $250-500 on each. I would never do something for 1 if I couldn't afford to do the same or of equal value for my other children
Ditch the parents and the brother and move on kiddo. Blood doesn't always make people your family. What those parents did was grade A favoritism and it wasn't right. Not sure why he is the black sheep but they're flatout wrong. We have 6 kids and they will ALL get a car as long as they have all earned it. Sounds like he earned it just like his brother. Never understood how people can do their kid this way.
Everything you say sounds incredibly reasonable. And if you are so well reasoned it's likely your parents are pretty reasonable people too. It's easy to see only one side of a situation. I am curious what your parents have to say. I know sometimes when speaking in real time time it's impossible to get anywhere with people on emotional issues. Have you considered sharing this post with them and asking them if they might write back to you with their feelings letting letting them know that you value their feelings and you appreciate their support they're support and you don't want to pressure them but you would like to understand where they are coming from?
The whole scenario is upsetting and his parents should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. His parents knew he was expecting a car as he had brought the subject of cars up weeks before the party. Not to mention the fact his older brother got one. How did his parents think he was going to react when he realized on the day of his birthday that they were not going to be presenting him with a car? It was almost like they were setting him up. He should not feel bad in the slightest when finally received his car. His parents knew EXACTLY what they were doing, they just weren’t prepared to be called on it. I hate to say it up this kid is not going to get what he emotionally needs from his parents going forward. I hope he drives his car with pride, eats their food with gusto and turns the thermostat up when he’s cold while he lives at their house and goes to school. I hope he doesn’t send his parents or brother invitations to his college graduation. I wish him all the luck in the world.
Grandma might have been at work behind the scenes forcing them to be fair. I don't think your feelings alone motivated them to get you the car. This will never end, you know. Grandma might give you more in her will than to your brother or your parents. They will retaliate years later by leaving your brother everything. You've haven't done anything wrong; they just like your brother more and always will-and they don't like being called out on it. You know they're spiteful vindictive children because you're afraid to ask them for college money. You know the pain and destruction that will ensue If you ask for what he got. So you won't ask. You'll just pay for college yourself. Its all them- this is the hill they're prepared to die on. I'm sorry for your situation.
Your a crying little b***h. This is half of a story. Face it you didnt work hard. Your Brother is better than you and you do not deserve a car. G. On we ao cry in your pillow and work harder at life. You are The first sentence of your response. A spoiled brat. No one deserves a car. We must earn such luxuries.
It's best to the OP learned this lesson at a young age, life isn't fair and no matter what you think you're owed, it's ultimately up to you to provide for yourself! Parents can be pretty shitty and often do favor one child over the other, but as in all cases, we're only hearing one side of a very complicated story. Like I said at the start, you're not owed a thing in life and younger people especially feel that they are entitled to whatever they set their little heart on, but the fact is, if you want something it's up to you to work for it and get it yourself.
Honestly, even give a trade school an earnest thought. People with real skill are in very high demand, and only getting bigger as time leads on. For instance welders, electrician, carpentry etc.. Corporations are downsizing big time and don't discredit real hands on skill that will never fail you in the real world, not to mention skill where YOU are in control of your own destiny. At a minimum, if you don't like what place you work for or are jerking you around. You can tell them to kiss your ass and go somewhere else working the next day. If you're savvy YOU can have people working for YOU. hings may change for you in regards to your immediate family soon enough anyway. Last thing yo need is to go all through college nd come out not being able to find work. Then if you do, you'll be doing 6 month or 1 year contract work where they may or may not keep you. That won't put you in any advantage when you have to support yourself because you can't go home. (for whatever the reason)
My sister is 2 years older than me and my parents briefly discussed not letting me have a car/drive myself because my sister could drive me to and from school. For us, money was a bit of an issue. We were on a budget. But at 14 (school permit in rural area) my sister got to have her 'own vehicle' to drive. I presented my parents with the argument that it wasn't fair that she got to drive at 14 and I didn't and if they were worried about having too many cars or paying for gas that it would be fair to let me be the one driving us, at least for a year or so since she had been driving for 2 years and I would get to drive for 2 years after she left for college. My whole family fought about it. Thankfully my mom was looking into getting a newer, more reliable vehicle as she had to commute for work and they just kept her old car for me to drive. You can't treat your kids different like that. It affects them and creates tension among them. These parents were worse than mine though. 😬
Just gotta do what needs to be done and move on the parents nor the brother are very nice and if they didn't want a second child then they shouldn't of had one then to treat them differently is just wrong and I wouldn't be surprised if years down the line that the so called "favorite" isn't gonna be there when they are in their elder years and time of need and the younger one will be the one they can depend on
I don't understand people in the comments saying to pay the parents back so they don't hold it over his head. No, why should he get punished even further for having s**t parents? Don't give them damn cent
Let me commend you for wanting to secure a job. Be succesful and get that job. Your parents are flawed human beings. Some parents do have favorites. Some parents pour more attention into their children who may need more inorder to be successful. Having said that you were right to confront them. Your timing however was way off. Next time consult with an elder in the family. Grandma was right on point to confront your parents. Grandma is a perfect ally. Bide your time graduation is right around the corner. Make all efforts to get into a good college. Time has a good way of moving you in your lifes direction. One last thing, your brother will probably remain who he is. You do you.
What a depressing read. The poor guy. I hope he will find a job and then a life with great friends far away from his bio family.
It is tough to be in the receiving end of not being favoured, it is terrible when receiving it from a family member or someone you depend on. Speaking from personal experience of when parents favour the younger sibling and shower with gifts, I kind of got paid for college as friends of family called them out for favouring younger kid. The bad part was I got the harsher end of the deal in all future engagements. Doubtful if your relationship will ever recover, prepare to deal with college on your own, get a full scholarship, be Uber successful to survive
The format of this column is redundant. The OP writes and then it is rewritten in a larger font. Why?
The parents are weird and the brother is a d**k. Hopefully they grow spiritually. The best way for everyone to move on and reevaluate relationships is to move out and become independent. Then they will either miss you and be grateful for the familial ties, or they will reveal their lack of love. Rent a place with friends. It's party time
If they are paying his tuition should pay yours. There's no reason why you should have to take out student loans and have debt and he get a free ride.
I'm the middle child and I knew that I wasn't really loved when my mom forgot my birthday. I didn't say anything but my sister was pretty upset and reminded her - which then prompted her to get me a store bought cake and a apology. My other siblings got gifts and a celebration. Same thing with college. They paid for my brother and my sister but mom had a talk with me explaining she felt my sister had a "better opportunity" than I did because I struggled and was also dealing with depression. I was told to get a job then got beat up and kicked out when I was fired when I was trying to do full time college work and my job. TLDR: the love of a parent is not unconditional but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved unconditionally.
I just hope this kid doesn’t follow the path that many ignored or under loved kids do. His brother will be a ghost in his parents twilight years and this kid, still striving for their love, will be the only one taking care of them. I might be a cold animal but I’d let my parent die alone in a small apt, eaten by their pets, if they treated me this way.
They are narcissists like my parents were. Just think about it…Harry Potter… Matilda… same situation. Only they didn’t have a good extended family like this kid. They have an agenda for life that they make everyone apart of. Son, there is not a person in life that won’t hold you back because there is not a person in life that wants to be alone. I want you to look at your family like a f****d up unit and try to see things from the perspective of your parents. Do you know how much long term care costs? Nursing homes?? It is not uncommon for someone to spend up a families entire potential inheritance during the golden years of life. Nursing homes are super expensive and there is no limit to how luxurious you can go… They made a decision early on to use your brother one way and you another. Their goal is to make you their b***h. They want you to be the one changing their bed pans and living in their house forever.
All I can say is, I am SURE his parents had their reasons and they don't OWE him anything. My daughters got cars at 16, which they got a job and PAID FOR themselves. They also paid their own insurance, gas, and oil changes. It is called discipline and responsibility. What an entitled little pout he sounds like, not to mention he probably wrote his complaint article from his room in daddy's house on the tablet daddy bought him at 18 years old! LOL. Keep it up American youth, my daughters are out in the wild ready to EAT YOUR LUNCH!
You're sure that since the OP was 10 that his Parents have shown OBIVIOUS FAVORTISIM to their older child and that Nothing the OP does (Volunteering, equal or better grades) is good enough, Allowing the elder child to lord the car over the younger child, Having big party with a Homemade cake During a Pandemic, but S**t party with a store bought cake 2 years later? What Excuse could there possibly be for treating one child well, but forci g the other to endure Blatantly dissimilar behavior?
Load More Replies...Work on moving out and then keeping your distance. Let them reach out to you and if they don't, f*** 'them all. At least you seem to have a good relationship with the grandparents.
Maybe they just didn't have enough money? Things have changed throughout the pandemic. The car for this person, although cheaper than their brother's, may have been a much bigger sacrifice for their parents.
Wow... Entitlement of today... You never know what is really going on and what the parents might be struggling with. Look around you the country is falling apart and you feel because your brother got a car almost 2 years ago when things might of been a lot different for them... You did black mail them. If this is a reflection on how you behaved throughout the years then maybe they didn't get the car because as your parents maybe they felt you weren't ready. Truth is that we don't know the truth and sociopaths are good at manipulating people and that's what this is
He spoke to his parents. If that were the case they could have explained it simply and I'm sure the OP would have totally understood. This just seems like the parents treating him way different than his brother. I had something similar done to me by my grandparents and they had no excuse because they still helped my cousins out before and after that. I was a good kid, got decent grades and didn't get in trouble. People play favorites and no, it's not fair to a person who has done nothing wrong.
Load More Replies...I am sorry you feel so unloved and second in your parents eyes. With that said, I do believe that you are suffering from second child syndrome. You keep comparing what your parents do for your brother and what he lacks to prove the value of love, achievement and self protection. In a perfect world all kids are treated the same, but in reality that is not how it goes. I saw in my life how my brother got everything, car, good clothes, expensive games, even better bigger room. And my sister was always forgiven for everything while I experienced true hell. But I used it to make me stronger. I never believed my parents owed me anything, no matter what my siblings got. So, focus on you and accept yourself. No more comparing. I am sure your parents felt corner pushed. If I was you, since u know this was a forced gift, I would simply work, save and pay them back every dime for car. And then thank them for helping improve your life via "loan". Good luck
Meanwhile you have people like me who was already working at 14 years old bought their own car at 16 and paid for all my drivers training, paid for all of my own insurance (BTW costs thousands of dollars at my age) oh and at 19 years old I bought my mother her car because my family grew up in poverty and she couldnt afford to buy her own. I guess we all just live different lives huh. Honestly this article just shows me the split in the people of America's lives. I would've been happy if my parents paid for my license plate lmao. I guess my sister got a laptop and I got one a year or two later idk if that compares🤣😅.
Not remotely the same thing but if you feel better for all that boring boasting, bully for you.
Load More Replies...So he brought it up and they got him a cheap car, sweet that's more than most of us got. Guess what when you go out into the world you won't be given anything. You will have to get everything you want or need yourself, don't rely on other to get it for you. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! Get used to it buddy because it doesn't change ever.
Well, someone needs to look into anger management and a course of meditation asap.
Load More Replies...It sounds like there's more to it than:," I worked just as hard as my brother, and even volunteered around town". I say you were always a little drama queen and blabbing to everyone about personal family stuff. With that being said, I have my own drama queen who was accepted to West Point. He has 2 other brothers, and regardless of performance, whenever anyone got something, they all got the same equally. Drama Queen, did not deserve anything, but we still gave him and the others equal treatment. I saw a comment about parents ending up alone....whoopee, this kid was not a walk in the park and will never be. So my ending up alone may be the best thing ever. When he ponders whether he should to go to his grandparents house to live, then I say good riddance. Most people here are wanting to listen to the one sided boohoo storyline.... Wake up kids, you're easily fooled.
This is not about a car. It is about why this kid thinks parents parent like they do. Would prefer to hear from the parents too. No, parents do not have to buy cars for any kids. This article is just one big victim signal from a whiny kid. We base people on performance and behavior. Good grades (performance) are in every kid's best interest. It isn't impressive when a kid passes public school anyway. Americans expect kids to at least be high school graduates. How would parents decribe this kid's behavior? Respectful, good attitude, invested family member? Something else? Aloof, leaving dishes in the sink, not doing their own laundry, lacking independence? This article is in large part a waste of time because it is one-sided. This kid has chosen, like most people, to frame themselves as the princess in distress, his parents as the dragon and grandma as the knight. As a mediator, I know this is only one optic of a much more complicated story.
Maybe just maybe your parents saw you as a do it yourself type of person. Maybe they felt giving your brother the car and big party was a mistake and they didn't think of you as a materialistic person. Maybe they had a different plan for you altogether. People tend to jump to assumptions. I could be wrong, but I went through a similar upbringing. Yet I have a way better relationship with my parents then my older 1st born brother that I always thought got favoritism. I feel that I became the hard working, self providing person that I am because of my upbringing. I was mad for years over it and now regret the years I missed especially with my mom. We now talk nearly everyday and with my dad passing away, I can only regret the what if. Everyone makes mistakes including parents. Life is too short. I believe with each child you try to do things better. Unfortunately it doesn't always look or feel that way.
Why do you feel like you are entitled to something just because someone else got something? Life is unfair. Are you going to share your car with another 18 year old whose parents aren't as well off and can't afford to give them a car? No you are not. Stop whining and get a job to pay for your own car. No one in life is owed anything. If they chose to give you something, count it as a blessing. My father gave my younger brother a house for his 18th birthday. I got a greeting card. I was just happy that he went to the bother if buying one. He worked 16 hrs a day, 7days a week.. him taking time out of his day to shop for a card was enough for me. I loved my dad while he was alive and love my brother. I don't lame him or hold it against him that he got more materialistic things than i did. I think I'm the luckier one since i got more life lessons and memories of my father then he did.
I think all parties failed. I think the parents showed favoritism. I think the kid that wrote in reddit is just as bad. I get it, you want to be treated fairly, and a car will really help you out. But now you resort to crying over the Internet that you weren't treated fair. Guess what, families all over have this problem. Yeah, it sucks and I'm sorry they did that. But you know what you should do instead? Grow up, get a job and move out. I also hope that you don't throw away your relationship with your parents. It was a d**k move on their end to not get you car, but if you ignored them, AFTER they got you one, that makes you even worse then them. We all have to try to be the better person, and sometimes that means getting s**t thrown in your face, and trying to come out a stronger, better person for it. Instead, without hearing anything on their side, your parents are made out to be the worst people around. actions have consequences, your parents will start ignoring you instead.
He just told us what happened, we all have a right to talk, chill
Load More Replies...Older siblings take on more than younger siblings majority of the time. Honestly he sounds like an entitled spoiled child who like most younger siblings, is jealous of his brother. Family is about love and empathy but he is only focused on the materials. That is a basic younger sibling staple. He is clearly only telling his side of it. I bet his older brother earned what he received and it was more than just good grades that got him that car. Only people who will really feel different about it are going to younger siblings because you guys always feel like your not wanted by the people who make sure your clothed, safe, and fed. If it bothered him that much you would think he would go out and show his brother he doesn't need his parents to get what he wants. But that would take effort that most younger siblings don't possess. They are too busy hating those that love them. It's always about material things that they black sheep themselves away from their family. So my question would be. Do you really love your family? Or are materials the love you really want?
Lol I find it funny when younger siblings think this way. I myself am an older sibling. I know for a fact that my younger siblings see things in their own way. Most of the time they have really messed point of views because like most younger siblings they see independence in the older one. How do you get mad at your parents for doing the best they can for you in the moment. Older siblings tend to earn what they get and those are the lessons they are being taught. Younger siblings tend to get things because it's the fair thing to do. Which is why you almost all the time see jealousy coming from younger siblings. They are spoiled entitled people majority of the time. Who think smarter not harder is the way of life. Only thing I got from this article is exactly what I hit on. Jealousy and entitlement over material things. Family should always be about love and empathy not who has the better car. If he paid attention he would see the lessons being taught
Do you know how long I had to scroll to read this comment. This kid is a spoiled brat.
Load More Replies...I'm different on this one. Parents are not obligated to do anything but care for you until you're old enough to do for yourself. That does not include a car. So what they gave your brother a car. That's their money! They can do what they want with it. Would it have been nice sure. As for grandma and uncle, if they are that concerned let them buy him a car. Heck they knew his 18th birthday was coming since he was 17. It doesn't matter how much money these people make. IT IS THEIR MONEY! We don't know how they see their son and why they didn't feel they should buy him a car. So there. He never said he was hungry and cold. He never said he was abused. He said he didn't get a car for his 18th birthday. Boohoo, I didn't either. On behalf of parents everywhere who have spoiled rotten kids that make idiots sympathize with them. Screw y'all!!! Brat!!!
He just asked his parents why, that's literally all he did, chill
Load More Replies...Spoken like a true capitalist. Also he didn't blame them for anything, he assumed they'd each get a cheap car. It's not a bad thing to assume you are going to be treated at the same level as a sibling. His grandma overheard and SHE made the big deal, not him. Also we assume they don't really give a crap about him because they treated him like crap on his birthday, car aside, he wasn't treated the same, which is a red flag. You should look up the 'work hard' myth. People given opportunities to succeed, guess what? Succeed better. It's absolutely normal to feel bad that someone in the same situation as you is given more. If the parents had financial concerns or something else, they should have discussed that with him if they truly loved him.
Load More Replies...
200
373