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Woman Finds Out How Sexist And Scary Her BF Is When He Starts Setting Her Up To Meet His Parents
Most relationships do involve some give-and-take, compromises and adjustments we make for each other. That being said, there is a pretty clear and normal difference between asking your partner to take care of themselves and handing them a catalog of major changes you need them to suddenly make.
A woman went viral on social media after sharing her story of an ex who gave her a long and bizarre list of demands for things he wanted her to change about her appearance. People in the comments and replies shared their stories and thoughts.
RELATED:
Learning your partner wants you to change your entire look can be shocking
Image credits: nomadsoul1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So one woman shared all the things her now-ex decided he wanted her to do
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
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Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Compromise is one thing, but setting “rules” about your partner’s appearance is too far
It should go without saying that your partner suddenly making demands about your appearance is a red flag. Everyone has preferences and there can be deal breakers, but, as the woman mentioned in this story, there comes a time when you have to legitimately ask “do you even love me if you want all these things to change?”
Many people have been in a situation where they make some adjustments when meeting a partner’s family for the first time, it comes with the territory. On the face of it, getting a fair warning of what they are expecting is good, however, it truly does appear that this man was using it as cover for his own preferences.
For example, telling your partner to get a pedicure to meet your parents is simply bizarre at best. While family dynamics can be complicated, it’s quite telling that he did not have her back at all. Instead of being willing to “defend” her or stand up for her, his best plan was to just demand she make a bunch of changes.
It’s important to also look at the vocabulary he used, as it’s quite revealing about what he believes. Insulting her current looks and using his “families preferences” as a shield is both manipulative and cowardly. The woman was absolutely in the right to ask if he even likes her at all in the first place.
She made the right call to dump this guy
His reaction is also just as telling. If his family (and not him) were so demanding, he would at least understand why she would refuse. Instead, he starts making broad proclamations about what all men would want, despite the fact that he ostensibly was dating her at the time. If you have high standards, you should probably just date someone that fits what you want, not force them into a specific mold.
It’s truly pathetic that he would then spend weeks calling and texting a woman that, based on his own words, didn’t meet the standards he had in his head. Setting aside the fact that you can’t just make sweeping demands about your partner, refusing to accept that they have broken up with you is just bizarre.
Unfortunately, this reveals an underlying issue where some men believe they have the right to make these sorts of decisions. The ex’s wording is important here, he talked about looking “traditional” which, apparently included changing her hair, manicures, pedicures and no bright colors.
Truthfully, as many commenters noted, she really did dodge a bullet. Liking someone also means respecting their wishes, indeed, it’s hard to imagine a good relationship without a modicum of respect. He clearly doesn’t have any for or, nor for himself, as he kept pursuing a woman who dumped him.
Many readers agreed that she was right to leave him
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
Image credits: broadwaybabyto
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A few somehow took her story as a personal attack
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Image credits: DaleRichardsonJ
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What do you think ?
Dorothea Lehmann 1 month ago
The reactions of the triggered at the end are horrifying to read.
Libstak 1 month ago (edited)
The last one was talking about the room mate who finally got rid of the guy, although he could have been clearer, thats what i read into what he said. He was right about that, the room mate was the real man, they are out there, she doesnt have to fear there are not good men in the world too.
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RedEyed Frog 1 month ago
People who say these guys should date someone ewho already fits their desires are missing the point. Their REAL desire is to make a woman to change for them. Finding a feminine woman, in thi case for example, would defeat the purpose.
jimmy pop 1 month ago
Exactly. It's about breaking her will and reining her in. That's the actual desire of these men.
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rainy_days (fae/faer) 1 month ago
She really dodged a bullet by leaving. Those control freaks are never satisfied. Even being very traditionally feminine will not be enough for them. they just want the powertrip of knowing they can make you change. I have the long natural hair, natural make-up, pink dress things and one still managed to tell me my shoelaces were not feminine enough.
Dorothea Lehmann 1 month ago
The reactions of the triggered at the end are horrifying to read.
Libstak 1 month ago (edited)
The last one was talking about the room mate who finally got rid of the guy, although he could have been clearer, thats what i read into what he said. He was right about that, the room mate was the real man, they are out there, she doesnt have to fear there are not good men in the world too.
Load More Replies... RedEyed Frog 1 month ago
People who say these guys should date someone ewho already fits their desires are missing the point. Their REAL desire is to make a woman to change for them. Finding a feminine woman, in thi case for example, would defeat the purpose.
jimmy pop 1 month ago
Exactly. It's about breaking her will and reining her in. That's the actual desire of these men.
Load More Replies... rainy_days (fae/faer) 1 month ago
She really dodged a bullet by leaving. Those control freaks are never satisfied. Even being very traditionally feminine will not be enough for them. they just want the powertrip of knowing they can make you change. I have the long natural hair, natural make-up, pink dress things and one still managed to tell me my shoelaces were not feminine enough.
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