“AITA For Refusing To Follow My MIL’s Rules When I Am In Their House?”

“My house, my rules” is generally the sort of thing most of us respect. But it can sometimes be hard to see what exactly falls under this concept. For example, should a religious family be able to make a non-believer pray or even attend church? If this sounds far-fetched, well, read on.

A woman asked the internet if she was wrong for raising a fuss when her boyfriend’s parents brushed aside the fact that she wasn’t religious and demanded she sleep in a separate room and attend church. We reached out to her via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

Being asked to sleep separate from your partner for someone else’s religious reasons sounds absurd

Young woman looking upset and stressed, reflecting conflict related to MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately.

Image credits: jm_video / Envato (not the actual photo)

But it’s what happened to one woman when she visited her BF’s parents

Text excerpt about MIL making son’s girlfriend sleep in different room due to rules about praying and church attendance.

Text excerpt about meeting son’s parents amid covid, related to MIL making son’s girlfriend sleep in a different room.

Text about MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room, upset over not praying or attending church.

Text excerpt about religious differences between mother-in-law and son's girlfriend, highlighting church and prayer conflicts.

Excerpt of a woman explaining how her mother-in-law reacted to her not praying or going to church during a meal.

Text discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room, mentioning disapproval over not praying or attending church.

Text discussing MIL making son’s girlfriend sleep in a different room due to not praying or going to church.

Text describing a son’s girlfriend unhappy about being made to sleep in a different room by MIL due to religion and prayer differences.

Text excerpt discussing conflict over praying and church, related to MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in another room.

Congregation raising hands in church worship led by pastor, reflecting the theme of prayer and church attendance conflict.

Image credits: zamrznutitonovi / Envato (not the actual photo)

Text on white background stating the girlfriend is shocked and told MIL about church expectations.

Text showing refusal to attend church due to disbelief in God, upsetting mother-in-law about praying and church attendance.

Text discussing a boyfriend mentioning disrespect between a MIL and son's girlfriend over prayers and church attendance.

Text expressing upset over MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately and not agreeing on praying or church rules.

Text on a white background discussing feelings about being the a*****e in a family conflict involving church and prayer.

Image credits: Sea-Tangerine-4123

“My house my rules” isn’t an invitation to tyranny

When you’re staying at someone else’s home, the classic “my house, my rules” principle generally makes sense. You wipe your feet at the door, you don’t raid the fridge at midnight, and you keep your music at a reasonable volume. But what happens when those house rules start creeping into territory that feels less like hospitality etiquette and more like an attempt to override your fundamental beliefs and autonomy? This young woman’s experience visiting her boyfriend’s parents in America perfectly captures this uncomfortable gray zone.

The situation started pleasantly enough but quickly escalated from awkward to genuinely problematic. Being asked to pray when you don’t practice religion is uncomfortable. Being lectured that knowing a prayer is “the least you could know” crosses into disrespectful territory. But the real issue isn’t about any single request. It’s about a pattern where the hosts are using their home as leverage to enforce compliance with their worldview on an adult guest. The psychology behind house rules gets interesting when hosts use their authority to control not just behavior but beliefs. Houseguests require significant energy when relationships aren’t close, and when a visit is too long and disruptive, a host is especially likely to feel invaded and territorially defensive. However, there’s a crucial difference between reasonable territorial concerns and using home ownership as a weapon to impose religious practices on adult visitors.

Think about what actually constitutes a reasonable house rule. Taking off muddy shoes protects the carpet. Keeping noise down respects neighbors. Not smoking inside prevents damage and health risks. These rules protect the physical space and the comfort of everyone in it. But requiring an atheist to attend church services, shaming them for acknowledging their relationship status, or suggesting that being unfamiliar with prayers is “the least you could know” doesn’t protect anything. It’s an attempt to enforce conformity through social pressure. The boyfriend’s response is particularly troubling here. By siding with his parents and accusing his girlfriend of disrespect, he’s essentially saying that maintaining family harmony is more important than defending her right to her own beliefs. This isn’t about two different perspectives on etiquette. One person is being asked to participate in religious activities that make her uncomfortable, while the other is merely being asked to accept that not everyone shares their faith.

It’s important to be respectful about religion, but respect goes two ways

Image credits: Josh Applegate / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

When approached with curiosity and kindness, some friends or family members might feel open to sharing their thoughts about faith transitions. Respecting each other’s spiritual journeys fosters mutual growth and understanding. The mother in this scenario showed neither curiosity nor kindness. Instead, she responded with shock and offense to the mere acknowledgement that her adult son lives with his girlfriend.

So how do you push back against excessive house rules without causing a family meltdown? First, recognize that you’re not obligated to participate in religious activities just because you’re staying in someone’s home. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions and have the right to decline conversations that make you uncomfortable or feel invasive. Politely declining to attend church while offering to help in other ways was actually a graceful compromise that should have been respected. Second, understand that discomfort with your boundaries often reveals more about the other person than about you. Strange house rules often say more about the host’s anxieties and psychological need for control than they do about the guest. The mother’s extreme reaction to the suggestion that her adult son might be sexually active shows she’s struggling with accepting reality, not that the girlfriend committed some grave offense.

The real work here falls on the boyfriend. He needs to have a conversation with his parents before future visits about treating his partner with basic respect. This doesn’t mean his parents have to abandon their values or approve of everything. It means accepting that their house rules don’t extend to controlling the beliefs and participation of adult guests in religious activities. You can respectfully decline to join family religious practices without disrespecting the family itself. When house rules venture into controlling territory, remember that respect is a two way street. You can honor someone’s home and values without surrendering your own identity at the door. The challenge is communicating this boundary clearly and calmly, then being prepared to book a hotel for future visits if necessary. Sometimes the best way to maintain family relationships is from a comfortable distance where everyone can be themselves.

Some thought she was not being unreasonable

Screenshot of an online discussion about a MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to religious differences.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room and forcing prayer or church attendance.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to religious beliefs and culture clashes.

Text post discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately due to religious beliefs about prayer and church attendance.

Comment discussing son’s girlfriend sleeping in a different room and conflicts over praying and church attendance.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a mother-in-law making son’s girlfriend sleep in a different room over church and prayer issues.

Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately over church attendance and prayer conflicts.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to not praying or going to church.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to religious differences about prayer and church.

Screenshot of Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately and expectations to pray or attend church.

Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room over church and prayer beliefs conflict.

Screenshot of an online comment about a MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room over church and prayer issues.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room and religious expectations.

Comment on MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately, expressing disbelief over her refusal to pray or attend church.

Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately over not praying or attending church.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to not praying or going to church, calling rules arbitrary.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately due to praying and church beliefs, expressing disagreement.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately due to church and prayer expectations, highlighting relationship concerns.

Online discussion about MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately due to not praying or attending church beliefs.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to not praying or attending church.

Comment text on a white background discussing religious beliefs and respecting personal faith in a family conflict context.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a separate room and pushing her to pray or attend church.

Text comment about a mother-in-law making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room and conflict over prayer and church attendance.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately and issues with prayer and church attendance.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment criticizing a mother-in-law for making son's girlfriend sleep separately and forcing church attendance.

Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room and conflict over praying or going to church.

Others thought the parents could set the rules in their own home

Reddit discussion about MIL making son's girlfriend sleep separately and tensions over praying and church attendance.

MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in different room, disagreement over praying and attending church expectations.

Text post discussing MIL making son’s girlfriend sleep in a different room and insisting on praying or church attendance.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room over church and praying issues.

Comment discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to not praying or attending church beliefs.

Comment discussing a MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room due to church and prayer beliefs during a visit.

Text excerpt discussing MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in separate rooms due to religious beliefs and prayer expectations.

Comment about MIL making son's girlfriend sleep in a different room and disbelief over not praying or attending church.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!