Woman Can’t Understand Why She Struggles To Find A Man, Friend Gets Blatantly Honest

As a lawyer friend told me, never ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.

Sounds like Lola needs to like herself first, before finding her match.

As a man I see this in men all the time, too (myself included). There's certainly nothing wrong with fantasizing about physical, mental, and societal ideals. We ALL do that. However, there are certain realities to consider in order to be happy. "There are a million things in this universe you can have and a million things you can't. It's no fun facing that but that's how it is."

NTA... your friend is living in a delusional fairy tale world that sounds very unrealistic. Even worse is that she wears white every time you go out, like she's a princess (not damsel) in distress that'll meet her prince charming in a restaurant. You told her the truth & it hit her like a ton of bricks. She got offended cause you were right & not about what you said. I find it very odd that she described her type of man similar to YOUR boyfriend. Don't leave him alone with her for sure, not even to "fix" something at her place. 😄

If you want a partner who goes to the gym, go to the gym. If you want a partner with a certain type of career, pursue that career. If you want a partner with musical inclinations, pick up an instrument. Do the work yourself, not this "manifest a husband" bullshît.

Seems obvious. Lola has intimacy issues and she uses her unrealistic expectations as armor. But since she doesn't have the romantic attention of a man, she wants sympathy attention from her friends to fill the gap. Some of her friends understand this and placate her feelings. What this person did was try to give sincere and useful advice. That was never gonna fly, because it doesn't address the root of the problem: Lola has intimacy issues.

If Lola REALLY wants to be happy she needs to open her eyes and be more accepting. I (about an 8) married my *dream guy* (also about an 8) and guess what? That didn't work for a variety of reasons (mostly he treated me like sh*t). I rebounded to a 4 - pretty much the total opposite of what I thought I wanted in a guy and here we are about to celebrate our 24th anniversary. From short instead of tall, unemployed at the time I met him, blonde instead of brunette, chunky instead of fit... treated me like a freaking queen (mostly). You have to be open to the experience.

The truth is always an insult to someone who has already made up their mind.

The term "manifest" tells us that she's using magical thinking, and wants to get something without putting in the work. NTA, and if you are tired of her complaints, don't apologise, maybe she'll avoid you.

She should give someone a chance when they show interest. Sometimes you find love in the person you might least expect it. My bf is the best man I could have wished for. When we first met I didn't know what to think about him, we were far away and from different races, but I still gave him a shot since he seemed sincere. I met the man of my dreams (not that I had a delusional list like Lola) in someone I would have never thought of looking for in first place... So yeah, never be quick to judge

Hey- I have some free advice! lol. And I'm going to ignore my own advice here - so, extra fun! Ok; was Einstein a smart man? Yes he was. He was also a human- all the time. He was weird- and took cr.ap for it, internationally. He knew about cr.ap. This quote from him is 86% certainly really from him. ""If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." - Albert Einstein He knew plenty about work; just as much about play- and learned about Z. I recommend remembering that one- "When in doubt - Z." Life will be easier.

There are women who are incels too. These are the guys who are single and blame women because they won't date them. No insight or self-awareness. She gave good advice. A therapist would have done the same. Delusion = a fixed false belief in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

I don't understand the female mentality of gladly accepting lies as compliments. For me I am a little on the plus size and it one of my friends once day would call me a "fat f**k", it would only prompt me to be a lot more careful in that domain and improve myself. In the end I would be grateful to that friend. NTA

Don't ask if you don't want to know.

Can add a temper tantrum and twisted "friends" around to "defend" her from the truth to the hard pass list for her dating life

George Costanza comes to mind: "Does she have a good cheek? I like a good cheek."

OMG - this could be my sister's friend Gisselle. She is a bit overweight, very opinionated, somewhat militant in most of her beliefs, and in my opinion, not all that attractive - like a 5 at best. Which kinda sucks for her because her two sisters are gorgeous, married VERY well and each have equally beautiful children/homes. Her "must" list is just as delusional as Lola's. She lives on the East Coast (US) and has always expected some "Hamptons millionaire" to fall madly in love with her. Said millionaire has to be fit & over 6', while she's a dumpy 5'4. etc, etc. Well, she's now in her mid fifties, has never been married or had any serious long term realtionships. She always wanted children (she made good money, I don't know why she didn't try to adopt). So NOW she's basically a childless, bitter spinster that NO ONE wants to hang around.

Kind of like them plus size models/celebrities... they say fat is beautiful etc...have thousands fans and admirers.. zero pick someone their size. Always someone fit. They must hate themselves.

this reads like it was written by an INCEL