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Back in the day, inheritance decided everything. Land, titles, gold – who got what was carefully calculated, and being left out usually meant lifelong resentment or, if legends are to be believed, a family curse or two. Thankfully, modern families no longer divide fortunes by candlelight or bloodline.
But the instinct to decide who “deserves” what hasn’t gone anywhere. It’s just taken on subtler forms. One woman discovered this the hard way during a seemingly normal Christmas Eve, when gift-giving turned into an unexpected lesson in exclusion, and her kids were the ones left empty-handed.
More info: Reddit
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Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One woman, who married into a wealthy family, showed up with her husband and their two kids at her family’s Christmas Eve celebration
Image credits: lyudmilalazo / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After her mother had given a little speech about how only good kids got presents, though, she was shocked to discover her children didn’t get any gifts at all
Image credits: jet-po / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she confronted her mother about it, she said the family had decided her kids already had everything they need and were “spoiled”
Image credits: throwaway377301
Fuming, the woman left with her family but, after being bombarded with angry texts from her mom and sisters, she’s turned to netizens to ask if bailing had been a jerk move
The original poster (OP) married into serious money but grew up lower middle class, so holidays already felt different. Still, Christmas with her parents seemed harmless enough. Until gift time arrived. Cousins ripped wrapping paper, Santa speeches echoed, but her two small kids searched under the tree again and again, only to come up empty handed.
When she asked her mom what happened, the answer hit OP like a ton of bricks. Apparently, everyone had decided her kids wouldn’t get gifts because they already had enough. As her four-year-old wailed, grandma called him spoiled and claimed this public Christmas snub was actually a “lesson” they desperately needed.
Rather than explode, OP quietly packed bags, called her husband, and vanished before Christmas Day even arrived, taking the kids to her in-laws to salvage some holiday magic. Then the phone rang – it was her mother, demanding answers.
What followed was a full-blown family meltdown. Her mom accused her of entitlement, mocked her child, and doubled down on her disastrous decision. Then her sisters piled on via text. Now OP’s turned to an online community to ask if her reaction was justified, or just a jerk move.
Let’s be honest, if OP had stayed, it’s likely things would have turned nasty. Her priority was getting her traumatized kids back into the Christmas spirit, so you can’t really blame her for leaving. But how does she deal with the fallout that’s landed at her feet? We went searching for answers.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The pros over at HelpGuide say that minor conflicts between family members are normal, and they typically sort themselves out on their own or with some constructive dialogue. But in cases where resentment and toxic patterns emerge, family interactions can become lasting sources of frustration and even end in ruined relationships.
Common reasons for family conflict include family finances, caregiving responsibilities, new family members, political and religious differences, and unresolved family issues. Perhaps in OP’s family’s case there’s a bit of jealousy in there too? It would go some way to explain their cruel “lesson”.
The experts from Psychology Today have some excellent strategies if you’re dealing with difficult family members like OP’s. Firstly, don’t try to “fix” the difficult person – do your best to accept them as they are. Next, be present and direct; stay focused on how you respond and know when to walk away.
It’s also useful to encourage the difficult person to express themselves – letting them fully state their point of view can go a long way to keeping the communication from breaking down. Finally, consider the fact that the issue might not be about you at all. Not easy to do when you’re feeling attacked, sure, but definitely worth bearing in mind.
We’d say walking away was the healthiest thing OP could’ve done, wouldn’t you? At least her kids didn’t have their Christmas entirely ruined. And maybe she’ll think twice about celebrations with her family, for a while at least.
What’s your take? Was OP out of line for bailing on her family, or was it exactly what their cruelty deserved? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the bewildered mom was not the jerk in the situation and urged her to go no-contact with her cruel family
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What do you think ?
Jack 3 days ago
That was absolutely cruel. As many have pointed out, they're jealous, and they took it out on the kids. Kids that young aren't spoiled yet, and they don't see these kids often enough to know otherwise. Expecting a child NOT to cry after having the rug pulled on him like that? Extra cruel. I'm surprised she didn't grab the kids arm, start slapping him with his own hand while saying, "Why are you hitting yourself??"
Vinnie 3 days ago (edited)
4-years-old is awfully young to learn that your grandmother doesn't like you and thinks you're bad for crying about it. Except in this case, it's a little kid thinking he did something bad and Santa is angry at him. I'm glad the OP put her nasty mom and sister on the naughty list and cut them off.
Earonn - 3 days ago
If they really had wanted to invest the money more in the children of 'poorer' families, they could have involved OP from the start. OP then could have redirected some of the gifts to be under the tree. Plus, especially at that age gifts don't need to be very expensive, and they are also a way of showing one's love. Well, if there was any love to begin with.
Binky Melnik 3 days ago (edited)
Crispes; *I’m* traumatized by this, and I’m old! What an absolutely s****y thing to do to kids! Wow; that’s just plain EVIL. I remember how scared I was that I wouldn’t please Santa which was pretty stupid because Santa was AMAZING to us, but these poor kids got a *demonstration*. Wow. I really hope OP manages to fix this so these kids don’t hafta carry this trauma around their entire lives. Yuck; I’m now imagining these horrible people tracking OP down and wheedling and whining that they need money for surgeries, to keep their houses and cars, for educating their kids, and all sorts of other things. I hope she doesn’t give ‘em a cent. Oooh: I think she oughtta give ‘em checks … for $0.00, because that’s what they deserve for being Grinches.
Anna McManus 2 days ago
It's probably too late for this but if this happens to anyone else type up a letter from Santa apologising for the mistake. All of their presents were left at their own house and other GPs and that GM was wrong. They were never on the naughty list at all. Get it printed in a nice font in silver or gold if possible. Or just buy a gold gel ink pen and get someone with very nice handwriting to do it. I feel really sorry for the little guy.
Anne Roberts 3 days ago
I have two grandchildren and cannot even remotely imagine not giving them Christmas gifts. They are precious to me and I like to know about their activities and hobbies. How could that grandmother be so heartless as to hurt a little girl and boy that way? Unimaginable.
tori Ohno 3 days ago
Her family is jealous. It's as simple as that. And the fact that they hurt two little children in order to show it is sickening. I'd be going NC with the lot of them after writing a heartfelt message about what they said and did to the kids. If they don't see the light and apologize, they'd never see any of us again.
Tabitha 3 days ago
Just wait for the mother and sisters to need a handout and come crying and fake apologizing to OP to ask for cash. Or worse, just expecting her to act like an ATM for them. Perfect opportunity to tell them they should’ve thought of that when they treated her and her kids so cruelly out of sheer jealousy. Tell them you won’t lift a finger to help them—-and that it will be good for them to be treated that way. Then shut and lock the door on them—-only let your dad in if they dragged him along unwillingly—-and go about the rest of your life without their b******t.
Kate Johnson 2 days ago
How sad that her mother and sisters are such cheap trassh human beings. Oh well, I guess that makes the holidays less complicated, as that would be the very last holiday I and my family would ever spend with them. In fact, I think I'd just avoid any and all future family get togethers and opt to get together with my dad away from his house. No point in any further association with these very trashy people.
marianne eliza 2 days ago
They're punishing the kids because they're jealous of the parents. Toxic. Don't invite them anywhere for anything.
Jack 3 days ago
That was absolutely cruel. As many have pointed out, they're jealous, and they took it out on the kids. Kids that young aren't spoiled yet, and they don't see these kids often enough to know otherwise. Expecting a child NOT to cry after having the rug pulled on him like that? Extra cruel. I'm surprised she didn't grab the kids arm, start slapping him with his own hand while saying, "Why are you hitting yourself??"
Vinnie 3 days ago (edited)
4-years-old is awfully young to learn that your grandmother doesn't like you and thinks you're bad for crying about it. Except in this case, it's a little kid thinking he did something bad and Santa is angry at him. I'm glad the OP put her nasty mom and sister on the naughty list and cut them off.
Earonn - 3 days ago
If they really had wanted to invest the money more in the children of 'poorer' families, they could have involved OP from the start. OP then could have redirected some of the gifts to be under the tree. Plus, especially at that age gifts don't need to be very expensive, and they are also a way of showing one's love. Well, if there was any love to begin with.
Binky Melnik 3 days ago (edited)
Crispes; *I’m* traumatized by this, and I’m old! What an absolutely s****y thing to do to kids! Wow; that’s just plain EVIL. I remember how scared I was that I wouldn’t please Santa which was pretty stupid because Santa was AMAZING to us, but these poor kids got a *demonstration*. Wow. I really hope OP manages to fix this so these kids don’t hafta carry this trauma around their entire lives. Yuck; I’m now imagining these horrible people tracking OP down and wheedling and whining that they need money for surgeries, to keep their houses and cars, for educating their kids, and all sorts of other things. I hope she doesn’t give ‘em a cent. Oooh: I think she oughtta give ‘em checks … for $0.00, because that’s what they deserve for being Grinches.
Anna McManus 2 days ago
It's probably too late for this but if this happens to anyone else type up a letter from Santa apologising for the mistake. All of their presents were left at their own house and other GPs and that GM was wrong. They were never on the naughty list at all. Get it printed in a nice font in silver or gold if possible. Or just buy a gold gel ink pen and get someone with very nice handwriting to do it. I feel really sorry for the little guy.
Anne Roberts 3 days ago
I have two grandchildren and cannot even remotely imagine not giving them Christmas gifts. They are precious to me and I like to know about their activities and hobbies. How could that grandmother be so heartless as to hurt a little girl and boy that way? Unimaginable.
tori Ohno 3 days ago
Her family is jealous. It's as simple as that. And the fact that they hurt two little children in order to show it is sickening. I'd be going NC with the lot of them after writing a heartfelt message about what they said and did to the kids. If they don't see the light and apologize, they'd never see any of us again.
Tabitha 3 days ago
Just wait for the mother and sisters to need a handout and come crying and fake apologizing to OP to ask for cash. Or worse, just expecting her to act like an ATM for them. Perfect opportunity to tell them they should’ve thought of that when they treated her and her kids so cruelly out of sheer jealousy. Tell them you won’t lift a finger to help them—-and that it will be good for them to be treated that way. Then shut and lock the door on them—-only let your dad in if they dragged him along unwillingly—-and go about the rest of your life without their b******t.
Kate Johnson 2 days ago
How sad that her mother and sisters are such cheap trassh human beings. Oh well, I guess that makes the holidays less complicated, as that would be the very last holiday I and my family would ever spend with them. In fact, I think I'd just avoid any and all future family get togethers and opt to get together with my dad away from his house. No point in any further association with these very trashy people.
marianne eliza 2 days ago
They're punishing the kids because they're jealous of the parents. Toxic. Don't invite them anywhere for anything.
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