“Pretty Privilege Is A Real Thing”: Woman Gets Denied A Job Because Of Her Appearance
Interview
Looking for a new job can be incredibly stressful. You’re competing with countless other capable candidates in interviews and aptitude tests. Unfortunately, some companies also take your physical appearance into account. And a job you might be perfectly qualified for can slip through your fingers because you don’t match the societal standards of ‘beauty.’ Or… because you don’t often wear makeup.
New Yorker Melissa Weaver went viral on TikTok and in the media after sharing how she got rejected for a vice president job because she didn’t wear makeup for her interview. Read on for the full story and what the internet thought of ‘pretty privilege’ and double standards for women.
Bored Panda reached out to Weaver, and she was kind enough to answer our questions. “Pretty privilege has always existed. My story just shed light on it and gave people a space to talk about their own experiences,” she told us. You’ll find our full interview with her below.
In this day and age, some recruiters still evaluate applicants’ appearance alongside their skills
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Melissa Weaver went viral after sharing how she was denied a high-profile position because she didn’t wear makeup for the interview
Image credits: _melissaweaver
“Okay, TikTok, I need your opinion on something. So I interviewed for a job earlier this week. The interview went so well. Every question she had, I had a great answer for. I used to work in recruitment. I know how to interview.”
Image credits: _melissaweaver
“My background and experience align perfectly with what the role entails. So I thought it went great. But then I get an email from the recruiter saying that I’m not going to be moving on to the next round. I was really bummed because I wanted the job. But I was also very confused.”
Image credits: _melissaweaver
“So I did something I never do, and I emailed her back and asked for feedback. And she said that while my background was exactly what they were looking for, my experience lined up with what they need for the position, and my own personal goals and values align with the company’s, she was concerned that, for my interview, I hadn’t put in enough effort in my appearance, given the level of the role I was interviewing for.”
Image credits: _melissaweaver
“I was interviewing for the vice president position. And now my appearance: I had done a blowout for my hair. I had on a nice top, a blazer, some earrings, but I only had on chapstick. I didn’t have on any makeup because I don’t really wear a lot of makeup. Not to be quirky. I just don’t.”
Image credits: _melissaweaver
“So my question is, does not wearing makeup, for women, to job interviews or to jobs, make it seem like they aren’t putting as much effort or care into their job?”
Image credits: _melissaweaver
According to Weaver, when she asked for follow-up info about why she didn’t move on to the next stage in the job application process, she was told that she hadn’t put enough effort into her appearance.
She had done a blowout for her hair and was wearing a nice blazer and earrings. However, she hadn’t worn any makeup because she doesn’t really do that.
It would be frustrating for anyone to learn that their skills aren’t the priority and are passed over for such a superficial thing as makeup. Especially when you consider that it’s a very high-profile role you’re interviewing for—a vice president position in HR.
We wanted to get Weaver’s take as to why her video resonated with so many people all around the globe. From her perspective, a lot of people, especially women, have experienced being treated differently because of their appearance.
“It’s been an unspoken, unconscious bias. I had someone actually voice their opinion that makeup is expected for a woman to look professional,” she told Bored Panda via LinkedIn.
According to Weaver, companies don’t prioritize looks over skills. “One of the reasons I didn’t name the company in my TikTok video was because I didn’t want to shame an entire company based on the opinion of one of their employees,” she explained.
“I do think there are people who think appearance is important in the workplace because it’s what they’ve always been taught. Girls aren’t born knowing how to put on makeup. They learn from their moms and grandmothers, and being ‘old enough’ to wear makeup is culturally seen as a right of passage for girls. I think every Millenial was told by their parents that people with visible tattoos will never be able to get a ‘real’ job,” Weaver told us.
“People’s preconceived notions about appearance stem from what they grew up hearing and what society says is ‘acceptable’. I don’t think anyone would say skills aren’t important, but there are people who think for someone to be the ‘full package’ employee, they need to have skills and meet a certain standard of appearance.”
Meanwhile, Bored Panda asked Weaver for the advice she’d give job applicants who feel nervous about interviews. She was happy to share some pearls of wisdom. “Before you apply for a job, make sure you meet all the required qualifications and at least 75% of the preferred qualifications and you’re confident you could handle the role responsibilities,” she said.
“Before the interview, do some research on the company and have a couple of questions ready to ask the interviewer. Before the interview, do some research on the company and have a couple of questions ready to ask the interviewer. When the pre-interview nerves and doubts start to creep up, remind yourself: 1) you know you can do the job—you wouldn’t have applied for it if you didn’t think you could, 2) you’re prepared for the interview, and 3) this company thinks you have potential to do the job—they wouldn’t be interviewing you if they didn’t.”
Image credits: Edmond Dantès (not the actual photo)
You can watch the full video, which was picked up by media outlets everywhere, over here
@_melissaweaver Does wearing make up to work make a difference? #work #corporate #career #interview #job #jobsearch #makeup #jobinterview #opinion #advice #women ♬ original sound – Melissa
At the time of writing, Weaver’s viral TikTok video was viewed over 786k times. It also got 68.7k likes and received more than 5.3k comments. The story was also picked up by major and smaller news outlets around the globe.
Many internet users were appalled by the double standards that women face even in this day and age. Unfortunately, the TikToker’s experience wasn’t a one-off experience. Other TikTok users shared similar stories of their own.
Weaver later posted a longer video where she went into detail about some of the questions that her followers had about the entire situation. She added that she wouldn’t publicly name and shame the company that rejected her for several reasons.
For one, it’s a good way to be blacklisted, and it wouldn’t do you any good while you’re still looking for a job. Finding a new job is Weaver’s current priority. It’s also unfair to criticize an entire company based on one recruiter’s behavior. It’s a diplomatic way of starting a discussion about appearances and ‘pretty privilege’ culture while remaining professional.
Whether we like it or not, things like judging others over their appearance might never go away. However, we can mitigate at least a part of these (un)conscious biases by being more aware of them.
The so-called ‘halo effect’ is a cognitive bias where our impression of a person affects how we feel about their character. To put it simply, someone who seems nice might make us think that they’re also smart.
Or, more commonly, folks tend to think that extremely good-looking people are also virtuous, talented, capable, and charming, even if they’re nothing of the sort. Verywell Mind points out that the halo effect is also known as the ‘what is beautiful is also good’ principle. In short, people tend to give attractive individuals the benefit of the doubt.
Weaver explained to Newsweek that her job interview was “engaging and informative.” The overall impression she got from it was very positive.
“We delved into the role, responsibilities, and the company’s growth plans. I was confident I met all their expectations,” she said.
“I left the interview feeling confident, so when I got an email from the recruiter a few days later saying I wasn’t moving forward in the hiring process, I was dumbfounded.”
Weaver explained that the interviewer thought her experience was exactly what the company was looking for. Moreover, the applicant’s values aligned with those of the company.
There was just one ‘problem’: “She was concerned that I hadn’t put enough effort into my appearance given I was interviewing for a VP-level role.”
Weaver told Newsweek that she rarely wears makeup because she has sensitive skin and eyes. “I believe this was the only aspect of my appearance that could have been perceived as lacking effort,” she said.
“My previous companies didn’t care about how people dressed in the office, so long as people weren’t showing up in pajamas or workout clothes. No one ever commented on whether or not a woman wore makeup.”
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Many TikTok users supported Weaver and thought that she was being discriminated against
However, some internet users actually agreed with the recruiter
Others shared their own job interview experiences where appearances mattered more than skills
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This is especially sad considering some people have sensetive skin. Also, make-up products have chemicals that are known to carcinogenic so not being givien a choice seems very wrong.
What was the job? If it was selling makeup? I'd understand what the interviewer meant.
Not sure if I've misread it but the recruiter doesn't seem to mention lack of makeup? The comment could have meant that she didn't look like she'd have the right impact for that particular job, say if her clothes looked worn or didn't go together. This would need more context on the role and an explanation from the recruiter to be sure.
You didn't misread. Quote: "She had done a blowout for her hair and was wearing a nice blazer and earrings. However, she hadn’t worn any makeup because she doesn’t really do that." She was told that she hadn’t put enough effort into her appearance, so she concludes it was the makeup.
Load More Replies...
Honestly this makes me steam. As long as everything else in on point, the fact that you are not wearing makeup shouldn't be an issue. Would they DARE tell a man he wasn't chosen because he wasn't wearing makeup? Uh - I don't think so.
It only matters if the company is in the beauty/ makeup industry, imho. If a man isn’t required to wear makeup, neither is a woman. Both need to look professional and from the video and description she absolutely was. (It doesn’t sound like ‘pretty privilege’ because this woman isn’t ugly, handicapped or deformed in any way. It’s just measuring with two different sticks.)
I hate that this is true, but it is. There is something called "Executive Presence" it is very subjective, but it is real, and many companies take the executive presence factor into the hiring decision. Executive presence expectations vary by company, and for most companies, a factor like appearance can include so many things like the background of your call (were you sitting on the bed, in a messy room, etc.), the camera set up, the sound quality, the posture, fidgeting. Just because she was told that she was told that she didn't put a lot of effort into her appearance, doesn't specifically mean cosmetics. There are lots of things that are contained in appearance and executive presence.
There is a lawsuit from years ago where a woman was fired for not wearing make up and she sued.
I stopped wearing makeup back in my 20s, I'm 53F. I always wore makeup to interviews. Unfortunately, that's just how it is. After I got the job, I would just stop wearing it. I wasn't a white collar worker, so it was no big deal, but that's how I got around it.
If I wear make up for interview aka few hours to get a job - my skin will freak out for 2-3 months, during which I look like black plague survivor. So I get the job and then I am fired after legally allowed probation time. Yea, great.
Load More Replies...
I love that the company could be tanking or have the potential to if they hire the wrong exec, but they just care about makeup? If I had a candidate like that I honestly wouldn’t care. If I knew that another exec or the CEO would want to conduct the final stage and I knew THEY cared, I’d give a friendly heads up, not deny because of some BS rule that seeks to instil whatever they think is an exec look. Aren’t those the same ‘looks’ that also actively discriminate against people of colour and differently abled?
Can tell when CEO has meeting with outsiders. Only time she wears lipstick.
Unless the job is whoring or something in the cosmetics/make up industry, you don’t need make up.
I am torn on this one. While yes, I can understand why it might seem problematic to be told your appearance isn't right for the job, I can also understand why someone might need to say that. Just because this woman (who made sure this went viral IMMEDIATELY I might add....) thinks she looked polished and presentable, doesn't mean she actually did. It could be lack of makeup, could be clothes choice, could simply be the way she held herself or the way she sat, if she was distracted (despite being able to answer questions, people can tell when you're not as focused as you think). No one said it was her lack of makeup, she assumed that, then ran to social media for immediate validation and her 15 minutes of fame. The reason she didn't share the company, is because she's not being nearly as truthful as it seems. The real reason could easily be verified by the media outlets and "interviewers" she claims contacted her, she could be called out. Even men fail to get jobs based on appearance.
I hate this happened to OP but it sounds like she is better off not working for this company. However she is very attractive without makeup so I'm not sure where the pretty privilege comes into the rant. I will say that in applying for a VP position it would have been smart to have checked out the company's culture and have presented oneself accordingly. I mainly commented though to negate some of the comments about men not being kept to appearance standards. There used to be a lot of jobs that required men to be clean shaven and have short hair. I'm sure there are still some companies that would reject a man with a ponytail/manbun or one of those mountain man unkempt beards. You may not be able to judge a book by its cover but we have all been a victim to it and we've all done it to others.
Men get rejected for jobs ALL the time, just as equally as women. Women just don't want to, for whatever reason, acknowledge this. While yes, we do get judged based on appearance, all the time, so do men. You might be less likely to hear a man say that, and men will often be flat out told this is the exact reason (facial hair, long hair, tattoos, clothing choice, etc..). Often times women will just be told appearance, and it's mostly likely for this reason right here in this article. Women will jump on that and say things like "pretty privilege" and "I was judged for not wearing makeup" when it very well may not be that at all. Men are far less likely to turn to the internet if they don't get a job based on their appearance. Not all women behave this way, but a lot do...as evidenced by this woman, and the people who agreed with her, lmao.
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The question you need to ask yourself is, as senior management, do you want to lead the people that this person is hiring? Given that you now know their criteria?
OP only addresses on what was above the waist. What if the slacks were wrinkled or the sneakers were shabby?
"You would think that in this day and age, your skills would be more important than how you look or what you wear" I don't why you'd think that.
You would think so. I show up dressed nicely every day on time and my co-worker in the same position misses work almost every week, definitely every month and for long periods of time. I'm fairly new, so her attendance directly impacts my training and ability to do my job, which has impacted my raise. Yet I was told by HR that I have to hide my tattoos, not because anyone actually cares, but because it's an old written rule. I'm here! I'm working! But that part doesn't matter so much. FYI-I have a chaos symbol on my wrist and a mother/daughter tattoo with my daughter's name and birth stone on the top of my foot. No skulls or snakes.
Load More Replies... This is especially sad considering some people have sensetive skin. Also, make-up products have chemicals that are known to carcinogenic so not being givien a choice seems very wrong.
What was the job? If it was selling makeup? I'd understand what the interviewer meant.
Not sure if I've misread it but the recruiter doesn't seem to mention lack of makeup? The comment could have meant that she didn't look like she'd have the right impact for that particular job, say if her clothes looked worn or didn't go together. This would need more context on the role and an explanation from the recruiter to be sure.
You didn't misread. Quote: "She had done a blowout for her hair and was wearing a nice blazer and earrings. However, she hadn’t worn any makeup because she doesn’t really do that." She was told that she hadn’t put enough effort into her appearance, so she concludes it was the makeup.
Load More Replies... Honestly this makes me steam. As long as everything else in on point, the fact that you are not wearing makeup shouldn't be an issue. Would they DARE tell a man he wasn't chosen because he wasn't wearing makeup? Uh - I don't think so.
It only matters if the company is in the beauty/ makeup industry, imho. If a man isn’t required to wear makeup, neither is a woman. Both need to look professional and from the video and description she absolutely was. (It doesn’t sound like ‘pretty privilege’ because this woman isn’t ugly, handicapped or deformed in any way. It’s just measuring with two different sticks.)
I hate that this is true, but it is. There is something called "Executive Presence" it is very subjective, but it is real, and many companies take the executive presence factor into the hiring decision. Executive presence expectations vary by company, and for most companies, a factor like appearance can include so many things like the background of your call (were you sitting on the bed, in a messy room, etc.), the camera set up, the sound quality, the posture, fidgeting. Just because she was told that she was told that she didn't put a lot of effort into her appearance, doesn't specifically mean cosmetics. There are lots of things that are contained in appearance and executive presence.
There is a lawsuit from years ago where a woman was fired for not wearing make up and she sued.
I stopped wearing makeup back in my 20s, I'm 53F. I always wore makeup to interviews. Unfortunately, that's just how it is. After I got the job, I would just stop wearing it. I wasn't a white collar worker, so it was no big deal, but that's how I got around it.
If I wear make up for interview aka few hours to get a job - my skin will freak out for 2-3 months, during which I look like black plague survivor. So I get the job and then I am fired after legally allowed probation time. Yea, great.
Load More Replies... I love that the company could be tanking or have the potential to if they hire the wrong exec, but they just care about makeup? If I had a candidate like that I honestly wouldn’t care. If I knew that another exec or the CEO would want to conduct the final stage and I knew THEY cared, I’d give a friendly heads up, not deny because of some BS rule that seeks to instil whatever they think is an exec look. Aren’t those the same ‘looks’ that also actively discriminate against people of colour and differently abled?
Can tell when CEO has meeting with outsiders. Only time she wears lipstick.
Unless the job is whoring or something in the cosmetics/make up industry, you don’t need make up.
I am torn on this one. While yes, I can understand why it might seem problematic to be told your appearance isn't right for the job, I can also understand why someone might need to say that. Just because this woman (who made sure this went viral IMMEDIATELY I might add....) thinks she looked polished and presentable, doesn't mean she actually did. It could be lack of makeup, could be clothes choice, could simply be the way she held herself or the way she sat, if she was distracted (despite being able to answer questions, people can tell when you're not as focused as you think). No one said it was her lack of makeup, she assumed that, then ran to social media for immediate validation and her 15 minutes of fame. The reason she didn't share the company, is because she's not being nearly as truthful as it seems. The real reason could easily be verified by the media outlets and "interviewers" she claims contacted her, she could be called out. Even men fail to get jobs based on appearance.
I hate this happened to OP but it sounds like she is better off not working for this company. However she is very attractive without makeup so I'm not sure where the pretty privilege comes into the rant. I will say that in applying for a VP position it would have been smart to have checked out the company's culture and have presented oneself accordingly. I mainly commented though to negate some of the comments about men not being kept to appearance standards. There used to be a lot of jobs that required men to be clean shaven and have short hair. I'm sure there are still some companies that would reject a man with a ponytail/manbun or one of those mountain man unkempt beards. You may not be able to judge a book by its cover but we have all been a victim to it and we've all done it to others.
Men get rejected for jobs ALL the time, just as equally as women. Women just don't want to, for whatever reason, acknowledge this. While yes, we do get judged based on appearance, all the time, so do men. You might be less likely to hear a man say that, and men will often be flat out told this is the exact reason (facial hair, long hair, tattoos, clothing choice, etc..). Often times women will just be told appearance, and it's mostly likely for this reason right here in this article. Women will jump on that and say things like "pretty privilege" and "I was judged for not wearing makeup" when it very well may not be that at all. Men are far less likely to turn to the internet if they don't get a job based on their appearance. Not all women behave this way, but a lot do...as evidenced by this woman, and the people who agreed with her, lmao.
Load More Replies... The question you need to ask yourself is, as senior management, do you want to lead the people that this person is hiring? Given that you now know their criteria?
OP only addresses on what was above the waist. What if the slacks were wrinkled or the sneakers were shabby?
"You would think that in this day and age, your skills would be more important than how you look or what you wear" I don't why you'd think that.
You would think so. I show up dressed nicely every day on time and my co-worker in the same position misses work almost every week, definitely every month and for long periods of time. I'm fairly new, so her attendance directly impacts my training and ability to do my job, which has impacted my raise. Yet I was told by HR that I have to hide my tattoos, not because anyone actually cares, but because it's an old written rule. I'm here! I'm working! But that part doesn't matter so much. FYI-I have a chaos symbol on my wrist and a mother/daughter tattoo with my daughter's name and birth stone on the top of my foot. No skulls or snakes.
Load More Replies...
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