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“This Doesn’t Add Up”: Woman Claps Back At Haters Who Don’t Get How She Can Have A “Handsome” And “Physically Fit” Husband
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People, Social Issues1 month ago

“This Doesn’t Add Up”: Woman Claps Back At Haters Who Don’t Get How She Can Have A “Handsome” And “Physically Fit” Husband

TikTok is home to a host of different trends at any given time. New dances, mouth-watering viral recipes, intense challenges and cute couples videos flood the app daily. These are usually harmless trends featuring creators having fun and exercising a bit of their creativity, but sometimes, what ruins a perfectly normal video is the slew of hateful comments it receives. Recently, one TikToker was reminded of just how bitter people on the internet can be when they see something they don’t understand. 

3 days ago, TikToker Alicia Mccarvell called out viewers for showing their fatphobia after a cute video of her and her husband went viral for all the wrong reasons. Below, you can see the original video that sparked this discussion, hear what Alicia had to say in response, and read some of the comments her video received, and join Alicia in her frustration with society’s oppressive obsession with our bodies. Then if you’re looking for another Bored Panda piece calling out the world’s rampant fatphobia, check out this article next.

Recently, TikToker Alicia Mccarvell posted a cute video with her husband showing their “transformation” as they got ready to attend a wedding

Image credits: aliciamccarvell

@aliciamccarvell My forever wedding date ♥️ @scottymc4 ♬ original sound – cam

After the original video went viral, Alicia made a follow-up calling out viewers for perpetuating toxic beauty standards in the comments section

She shared examples of ignorant comments people left speculating about how her and her husband became an item

Alicia went on to explain that we all have a responsibility to unlearn toxic ideas we’ve been taught, like valuing the size of our bodies above all else

Image credits: aliciamccarvell

You can watch the full response video right here

@aliciamccarvelllet’s address the trash beauty standards in the room ||••♬ original sound – Alicia Mccarvell

Alicia currently has 5 million followers on TikTok and has gained a loyal audience through posting uplifting self-love content, participating in funny trends, and sharing adorable videos with her husband. So even though she receives thousands of supportive comments from fans every day, she notes in the video that hearing rude remarks about her marriage is nothing new. But that doesn’t make it acceptable. Inserting our opinions on anyone else’s body or relationship is uncalled for, and the fact that people take issue with Alicia’s marriage in the first place is so disappointing. 

While TikTok is an app where content creators can post almost anything they like, from religious content to conspiracy theories, it is still notorious for promoting unrealistic beauty standards. With an algorithm that seems to endlessly push young, thin, white users’ content and mysteriously censors many plus-size creators for posting almost identical videos, the app is often the subject of controversy. In fact, the TikTok’s original policies instructed moderators to “censor content from people it believed to be ugly, overweight, disabled, or poor”. By pushing videos from users that fit into narrow beauty standards, fatphobic viewers are able to hold fast to their prejudices knowing they’ll rarely ever see anything that challenges their beliefs. 

Alicia’s original video was meant to be a fun post featuring her loving husband, but it turned into a bold statement about body positivity. While the hateful commenters might have a long way to go in dismantling their fatphobia, I hope that Alicia bringing attention to the issue will help some of them open up their minds. We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below if you have ever experienced anything similar to Alicia or if you have any tips for helping others unlearn toxic beauty expectations. And remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, maybe you don’t need to say anything at all.

Thankfully, Alicia has received countless comments of support from followers who understand how insignificant our bodies are

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JinjoBread
Community Member
1 month ago

TikTok is an absolute s**t hole.

Pas VotreAffaire
Community Member
1 month ago

As is Twatter.

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DuchessDegu
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people are trash, and insanely jealous. They're so vapid and their only asset is their half plastic body!

Tash
Community Member
1 month ago

It amazes me that people have the audacity to be so incredibly rude about someone else's looks.

Troux
Community Member
1 month ago

Something that's kind of getting overlooked in this article is his perspective. There are more reasons to get fit than just 'to pick up women.' Maybe it's something he enjoys doing, maybe he's been inspired to accomplish something, maybe he has been working hard to overcome his past unfit self, or maybe he just wants to look good for himself. We see a lot of stories like this from women when strangers assume that if they dress up or wear makeup, it's only because they want to get hit on.

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Celeste Grant
Community Member
1 month ago

I have experienced the same except for us it's because I am disabled by chronic illness and am a wheelchair user. People don't get that my partner loves me; I've had people say he must be with me because he feels sorry for me, as well as cruel comments asking about our sex lives insinuating that he must "have a fetish" or worse that he must be cheating because everyone knows a disabled person can't have sex (sorry that's sarcasm do those who might miss the point). It can be really hurtful but he always challenges people on their attitude when he witnesses it. People just can't seem to see past my disability or my wheelchair, as if that's all I am. He would tell you a list of the reasons he loves me, and the only reason my health would be mentioned would be that he admires how I deal with all the pain and complications I have to deal with. I'm lucky but he would say he is too.

Amanda Reicha
Community Member
1 month ago

I totally understand. My disability is an invisible one (epilepsy), but I've had comments about why would my husband want to have a burden. I am dependent on him for just about everything (transportation, income, and depending what they are and what kind of day I'm having, simple house chores. I take up a lot of his free time, so people want to know why he wants to be with me. He's a very caring person and helping me doesn't bother me. We were friends long before we were married.

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JustJackie
Community Member
1 month ago

So because she's bigger than him, she's not worthy of his love?! What are all these skinny people doing that makes them better than her, except for being skinny? They know nothing about her. Good for her for not letting the bullies stay anonymous, and calling them out. I wouldn't have the mental strength or patience to deal with all that hate. And she even tries to educate them....Seems like all they have are their thin bodies...What happens when they gain weight, and god forbid become fat..

Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Over my 45 years I have been as small as 105 lbs, and as big as 170 (without being pregnant), and I'm 5'5", so pretty short. Currently, I weigh about 115ish, and it HURTS. 😱 Who tf wants to sit on BONES?! They're HARD! As are most seats! Even a soft se sa t is uncomfortable after awhile if you have a couple broomsticks under your a**e! 😳🤣🤣 So, yeah, skinny people being skinny is NOT a special ability, nor something people should aspire to. 😊

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Charlotte
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm overweight and my boyfriend absolutely LOVES how I look. He's a scrawny little thing that bikes and plays ice hockey. I'm a hippo that makes a mean chili when he's done training. He washes my hair in the shower and feeds me chocolate. I massage his shoulders and send him lame memes. We spend so much time in bed, it's not even funny. Screw ancient beauty nonsense.

Aroha
Community Member
1 month ago

I have never been accepted and loved like this, as myself. But your description of what a relationship can be just gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe I could be this lucky one day. 😊

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Notyomama
Community Member
1 month ago

I can't tell you the amount of times I have heard a woman say," How is SHE married and I'm not?" My answer?? Probably because they have a decent personality instead of being a vapid salty cow.

Iapetos
Community Member
1 month ago

HEY! Cows are lovely!

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Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 month ago

Sounds like a bunch of jealous, catty women who have men that aren't as attractive or don't have one at all.

Potato
Community Member
1 month ago

I think some of those comments were from men as well

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Dutchman Callypso
Community Member
1 month ago

One of the many reasons I deleted TikTok. It's a whole new level of toxic out there...

Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 month ago

Literally had it for less than 24 hours

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

I hear ya. Fortunately I've never had any comments but I have had stares when I have been out with my hubby. He is fit and good looking whilst I am obese and extremely unattractive, especially by societies beauty standards. We started dating when I was very slim and after 20 years and excess weight gain, he still finds me attractive.

Albert
Community Member
1 month ago

“Extremely unattractive…” Well let me tell you, a lot of people write comments on BoredPanda. With three people I know before reading it, their comments are always going to be pleasant, thoughtful, insightful, sometimes witty and generally nice comments. And you are one of those three. So your physical appearance may be “extremely unattractive” (I'm gonna take your word on that), but to me your comments on BoredPanda are always “extremely attractive”! Now I suddenly feel the urge to go watch the movie ‘Shallow Hal’ again…

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Iifa A.
Community Member
1 month ago

I guess that explains why dating apps, and casual sex took off. People got used to living for beauty, but after 10-20min of bed rocking there was nothing else... I was short chubby girl, he is 196cm tall and slim built, we spent together 5-6hours walking in the middle of the night, and then he moved to another country to be with me, we didn't get to sex till after 5months of living together and sharing a bed. Beauty won't last, but humour and ability to talk and listen, and support will outweigh any physical appearance.People who have criticized us since the beginning are the ones still jumping from person to person, like ticks never satisfied. You're beautiful, and couples that are connected on deeper level are better looking than two models on a photo. (wonder how many takes it took to get that photo). A whole generation has grown up comparing themselves to others and if you're below or above then you get hit by their insecurities. Wish you all the happiness and success!

Mistiekim
Community Member
1 month ago

Dating apps are useless. You are disregarded because people don’t think you are “hot”. They can make you feel even crappier about yourself. I think if you read a description about someone and you have something in common, you can at least communicate since it’s so hard to meet new people once you pass a certain age.

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Roxy Eastland
Community Member
1 month ago

I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you love someone the sight of them makes your heart sing. Inside the packaging is the person you love, so that packaging fills your heart up.

boredkoala
Community Member
1 month ago

Well said!

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Andie
Community Member
1 month ago

I relate to this on a deep level. My husband is gorgeous, could be a model, and is 6 years younger than me. I almost turned him down because of the age difference. We have been together for 11 years, married for 8. I am very overweight and look my age. Yet he moved countries for me. Gave up everything he knew, (home, family, car, house) to move to a new country. I have had people say he just wanted to come to America (seriously? this country is a joke, he gave up free health care), that I must be rich (teachers are just hiding their wealth), and that they don't get it.

I' Gomez & Morticia's kid
Community Member
1 month ago

Am so happy for you💜💜💜

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El Dee
Community Member
1 month ago

This is SO true. It shows up so much less when it's the other way round though as women are SUPPOSED to value men for who they are. This points out that society thinks men are SUPPOSED to value women's looks only. She IS beautiful but we should encourage our young children to date the person they like as beauty is fleeting. If you date when you're older this becomes more apparent to everyone. It takes a brave woman to point it out though, well done to her!!

AsexualShrimp
Community Member
1 month ago

This is why I don’t want to download tiktok. All of these stories only prove that it is a toxic environment

Troux
Community Member
1 month ago

Gonna share this with my fellow incels so we can berate all the Instagram models who won't date us nice guys.

Caro Caro
Community Member
1 month ago

Will you keep me posted :)

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Kelli
Community Member
1 month ago

People never fail to disappoint me.

Lisa H
Community Member
1 month ago

As we all know, people suck. As apparently very few know, she is a stunningly beautiful person. Her skin is so flawless, her hair is gorgeous, and that smile is outright contagious. Ngl, I wish I had that. I'm skinnier than her, but so what? She's beautiful and I know her husband sees what I see and so much more. Screw these vapid, jealous a$$holes. They found love with each other and the skinny trolls can't stand it. She's handling it with such an astounding amount of grace that it's no wonder Scott fell for her. She's gorgeous both inside and out.

Uber Mensch
Community Member
1 month ago

If they're happy, anybody else can get stuffed. MYOB!!!

Bobby
Community Member
1 month ago

If you go by marketing/Hollywood beauty standards my wife would score lower than me. I've had women message me like this guy gets (although he's pretty hunky so I bet he gets it way more than me). The first time I saw the woman who would be my wife I couldn't take my eyes off her. I thought there were more attractive people in the room, but she stood out. I spent the whole night trying to work up the courage to talk to her and she ends up handing me her number on a napkin as she's getting ready to leave. Turns out we were both doing the same thing. And she is the most shy person I know. We just chalk it up to fate

Caroline Pereira
Community Member
1 month ago

The list of couples where the woman is a perfect beauty stand doll and the guy isn't is infinit, huge! ohhh, the double standards

Colin L
Community Member
1 month ago

Size, age, ethnicity... most people aren't looking beyond skin deep when it comes to love and affection.

Sinkvenice
Community Member
1 month ago

She doesn't worry about girls hitting on him because she trusts him implicitly. If she didn't I doubt they'd be together as trust is vital to a healthy relationship.

Layna Sadler
Community Member
1 month ago

People who think looks are the only thing that attracts others, really have no assets that a partner would want.

foofoofloofy
Community Member
1 month ago

"This aint adding up." "Then get a better math tutor." SLAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

Beans
Community Member
1 month ago

As a fat positive person I think that these people judging this couple are cringe tbh. Imagine being so insecure you have to throw someone shade to feel good about yourself. That said, I understand why the hateful comments happen; (though I don't agree with it) the overwhelming majority of humans are shallow and even the most ardent believer in health at any size probably is slightly lookist. I mean, people do it to guys too, (she's only with him because he's rich bla bla) or whatever. It's second nature to judge people aesthetically... it doesn't make it right. But we are judgmental as a species even when stuff doesn't involve us or we don't know the whole story. It's sad though and we should be better. People who concern troll for health reasons is BS-- there are so many things we do that are destructive that body policing is frankly ridiculous. Whether or not she's healthy or not is a none of our business and we can't judge as we are not her doctor. Also TikTok is just a scourge.

J. Maxx
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm a Gay man and this has happened to me in the past. I'm fat, bald and plain and the pretty boys could never understand why the hot guys would date me. Maybe because I would actually listen to them, I wasn't judgmental or superficial and I wasn't all about me. It was actually an ego booster being with these studs and having the queens who would rag on me be jealous.

Just saying
Community Member
1 month ago

Those comments make me feel sick. How dare people say that to any other human being? And I suspect they have a relationship that will stay the course as it's based on real things - love and character, rather than looks. I suspect lots of the couples that feature on the endless AITA articles here were attracted by looks and then married without really knowing each other.

Eli Fisher
Community Member
1 month ago

I... I don't even know what to say honestly. She's beautiful, in my honest opinion, and her husband is very handsome. It's sad that people have to put other people down to feel good about themselves.

Lady Goldberry
Community Member
1 month ago

The comments were largely by women, so far as I could tell. How incredibly awful.

Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 month ago

My husband has an athlete's body; always has been in shape since a child though he was never a jock really. But if he does just two workouts, his body tones and muscles get huge while my face will go a little slim from two months of dieting and working out. A girl in public actually looked between the two of us and when he said he drove across country to see me, she brazenly said, "all that way for HER?" I was so taken aback I couldn't even respond but my husband put his arm around me and said "of course." We don't make sense apart but people see us together and always say we are the most loving and in-love couple they know and how we just fit together because of HOW WE TREAT EACH OTHER NOT HOW WE LOOK.

Gabriela Cink
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah, that's the reason why it is better to find partner based on personality. Body can change over time, people grow old, it is easier to be with right person.

Apachebathmat
Community Member
1 month ago

Beautiful couple, his love for her and her for him is obvious, I don’t see anything else! Humans can be utter soulless nothings, pay them no notice

Anita Pickle
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

"Do you get jealous when people hit on your husband?" Wtf type of question is that? Why would you be jealous of another person's actions that your husband has nothing do with. People are strange.

Biana Weatherford
Community Member
1 month ago

just started following her for exactly this reason. the world needs people to be as matter-of-fact about weight/size/beauty as she is. she's in love. and that's awesome.

Sandra Rardon
Community Member
1 month ago

I think she is one lucky LADY

Rhon Young
Community Member
1 month ago

My husband is gorgeous, think Chow Yun Fat! Me. I'm really nothing to look at. Plain Jane with glasses. But we have been married for 35 years and our love continues to grow. Many years ago my husband thanked me for loving him for who he is and not what he looked like. I was blown away by that. Society would have me thanking him! Not the other way around. A persons soul, personality, heart is what makes them beautiful not what they look like. I've seen some people who are absolutely stunning but also absolutely ugly in their hearts.

Rebecca S.
Community Member
1 month ago

It is interesting how none of the people leaving mean comments are taking her husband into consideration. He chose her. He fell in love with her. He married her. I think her husband is a personal trainer. If he is, he spends a good part of his day with shallow people focused only on physical beauty. He knows true beauty is deeper and lasts longer.

Iapetos
Community Member
1 month ago

I think that even as a fat fetishist, you would fall in love with the person, not their fat.

Lisa Brown
Community Member
1 month ago

Not to mention undervaluing HIM as a human being. Thinking someone that.looks like that MUST be shallow

Nightshade1972
Community Member
1 month ago

In the US, there used to be a rom/com TV show called Mike and Molly, about a fat couple who were in love. The show was very successful. At one point, the female lead told the producers that she wanted to try to lose weight and get healthy--she wanted to give them a heads-up for things like costume size changes, etc. The producers were horrified. "If you do that, we'll have to cancel the show!" "What?! Why?!" "Because a fat guy with a skinny girlfriend is just too unrealistic! Nobody would ever believe it! Either stay the size you are, or we're canceling the show!" She went public with what the producers had said, and yes, they canceled the show.

Caro Caro
Community Member
1 month ago

I loved that show. Melissa is beautiful and talented. Full Stop !

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Joe Blowe
Community Member
1 month ago

Same for myself and my SO. We have been together more than 19 years. She is 13 years older than me. People look at us and wonder wtf. I fell for her looks as well as her personality and viewpoints on many things. Even after all of this time I would not change a thing and we are going as strong as ever.

Camo Pena
Community Member
1 month ago

I have yet to understand why anyone plasters their personal lives on any social media forum.

Cammy Cat
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people fall in love with the person, not their looks. Have I seen Pierce Broanon's wife or Hugh Jackman's?

MoMcB
Community Member
1 month ago

They're both beautiful women. What's your point?

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Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 month ago

Blah. It's so sad we have this culture. I spent most of my 20's thinking my only value was how "attractive" I was. And that being pretty was the rent of being alive and allowed in this world. I missed out on a lot! I ditched diet culture a couple years ago, gained 2kgs (all that for 2kgs.....) and finally had energy, no brain fog and was able to laugh again (I was able to push myself much harder while working out too, much more fun). People who want you for your body will always make you feel inferior. Believe it or not, not everyone buy into the whole "thin = beauty" - thankfully!

Ben Whiting
Community Member
1 month ago

I think fat people have a problem. Wait, that came out worse than I meant. What I mean is if your fat it's ok as long as you're trying to get better and more healthy, but all these fat people who say "respect my body for what it is" and are all pro being plus sized that just makes me sick.

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

Asking others to respect our body for what it is means to actually respect us no matter what size. We are seen as invisible or not worthy of respect. That's what body positivity is actually about. It's not about encouraging others to be overweight/obese it's about feeling good about yourself. Feeling good about yourself is the first step in making positive changes. Having low self worth from being treated like s**t doesn't help. In saying all that, whether someone is trying to get better or not is none of your damn business. It is between them and their dr. You have absolutely no idea what that person is/has been going through.

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Sheryl Logan
Community Member
1 month ago

Your husband is awesome and is so much deeper than the skinny wench gives him credit for. Does he have any enlightened brothers? lol

Allison B
Community Member
1 month ago

Do I wish I had a boyfriend who looked like Scott? Yes. Do I think they're obviously in love and very cute and happy together? Even more yes. Being a bit jealous is fine, but stuff like those TT comments are horrible and just cruel. I'm a large woman myself and honestly dont like my picture taken because of it and if I saw comments like that I'd be devastated. She's a an amazingly strong person and an inspiration! I'm very happy for them.

Gina Babe
Community Member
1 month ago

This is awful! Why are people so ok with being so cruel to each other? This world sucks

Happy_Pandalover
Community Member
1 month ago

These people are just plain rude and/or jealous. Everyone expects that people value them for who they are instead of their looks. But at the same time these exact same people write hateful comments like this. So maybe her husband loves here for who she is. Plus, he might not care about looks or she‘s fully his type. Who cares as long as they are happy together :).

Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
1 month ago

What in the actual f**k is wrong with tik tok? I mean, I know shitty ppl are everywhere. But tik tok is a whole other world. I would never have thought that had I seen the original post. I think she's beautiful period. Some of the most attractive people I've dated are some of the most boring, shitty ever. Some of the "not so attractive" ppl have also been shitty... but for the most part the ppl I've been with who aren't conventionally attractive have been the most successful relationships I've had. I'm just saying that looks aren't s**t. Being with someone attractive because you're attractive is so stupid dude. Date the person who makes you feel good about yourself.. who loves you for who you are. Who listens. Who cares. Who doesn't have a wandering eye. Someone who appreciates you "flaws" & all... dating someone because they're attractive & that's it is so fucken shallow. Like... at that point you're saying to show off. Not because you care about them.

tatumn
Community Member
1 month ago

F*****G PREACH!!!!!! she took that like a champ. and you know what? BY SOCIETYS STANDARDS she has an a*s. and boobs for that matter. she just because shes not a size 0 makes him out of her league? shut the f**k up because you know damn well you can't get anyone like that. so keep your damn negative opinions off her page, you negative nancy.

Abigail Hill
Community Member
1 month ago

Awww but they're so cute and look so happy together.. why would anyone say this stuff?

Droid Mania
Community Member
1 month ago

People that don’t get this couple are shallow, narrow minded dumba**es. I feel sorry for them, but only a little bit. I wish the happy and beautiful couple all the best!🌹

kit kat
Community Member
1 month ago

Sad but it's the world we live in. She must have known this would happen and how people would react

seedogg
Community Member
1 month ago

https://www.psypost.org/2022/06/hunger-can-alter-aesthetic-preferences-for-human-bodies-and-other-objects-study-finds-63354

that_curly_girl 🇺🇦
Community Member
1 month ago

how terrible of the people who replied to her videos! they are an absolutely beautiful couple, and they look so tremendously happy. as she said, he is interested in her personality, not her body (which is beautiful in any case) . this is what is wrong with society! we base love off of beauty standards. we should base love off of who we love and why we love them, their personalities and their uniqueness. love is love, not beauty standards. we need to stop judging people and couples by what they look like! ❤️

Emma Starr
Community Member
1 month ago

So glad to see this addressed!!

Tabby_Sohee
Community Member
1 month ago

The stupid courage people get when they’re behind a keyboard and a screen… the commenters are very obviously just jealous and insecure, but it still makes me mad. Such a loving, fashionable couple, and the first thing people say are insults to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Erika
Community Member
1 month ago

It’s sad that she has to go through this. Her comeback comments in response to the trolls are great though.

birdhouse
Community Member
1 month ago

Wow! Just wow!

Princess Tootie
Community Member
1 month ago

Awww, great story. Happiest wishes to Alicia and Scott for a wonderful and long life together!

Judy Steelman
Community Member
1 month ago

TikTok isnt bad its the horrible comments made by ignorants

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 month ago

Love is love. Looks don’t matter a damn when love is lasting. We’re all going to grow old, so should really fall in love with a person’s intrinsic qualities not their surface appearance. She’s a gorgeous curvy woman and they love each other. Who’s business is it to criticize? No one else’s but theirs.

Randolph Croft
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Love is love. I don't explain to people romantic love, as it's something I don't relate to, but it's not about numbers or things or money or anything quantifiable. If it were, I'd have figured it out. It's literally outside reason. Just be happy it happens at all.

Katinka Min
Community Member
1 month ago

Wait, toktok actually tells its moderators to cencor content from wpeople who are disable, poor and poc?? Ok, WHY are people using this trash app?

Pixie420
Community Member
1 month ago

I can see that you and your hubby are a beautiful couple that love and respect each other. We unfortunately live in a world where people are so narrow minded that they forget the fundamental reasons for our existence on this earth. Stay blessed in love and light 🤍

Dill
Community Member
1 month ago

There is no fundamental reason for our existence on this earth. We're just the more successful creatures since the last extinction event. Throughout Earth's multi billion year existence there is estimated to have been 5 extinction events, that each wiped out an overwhelming majority of the species at the time.

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Lorrie Rothstein
Community Member
1 month ago

To heck with those bullies. Youre pretty,smart and confident. You found a man who loves you for you. Those other people jealous they dont have a relationship that isnt just looks

sinead
Community Member
1 month ago

Ok. Let me start by saying that you are beautiful. You have fantastic style, obviously a wonderful personality, depth, you are very attractive on the inside and outside. These " people" commenting are mean. I don't want to be around them or anyone who would date them.

TheDag
Community Member
1 month ago

Honestly the responses goes to show you the sort of person they are. If they're judging the relationship on the looks of the two people in them then clearly they are shallow vapid people who look for one thing in a person. Hurry up and stop this world I want to get off

Rylosalex
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Why is everyone totally shaming her just because she has a cute husband? I think they make a really cute couple.

Haiti Reads
Community Member
1 month ago

She loves him and he loves her! It’s lovely. My husband is really fit as well whereas I’ve been always chubby and hate excersise. Love happens in the heart ❤️

Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
1 month ago

People always question Hugh Jackman and his adoration for his wife Deborra, who is somewhat chubby & 15 years older. A marriage/relationship that is based on physical looks is never going to last - what lasts is love, understanding, support, companionship and a shared sense of humor. Kudos to you for not listening to the haters.

Jus
Community Member
1 month ago

Most nice men I meet say they like a woman depending on her attitude towards herself. If she loves her body, acts naturally, doesn't make it a problem, so do they. That said I was mostly criticized by other women, who thought a chubby woman can't be attractive to men. Which is not true.

New Everywhere
Community Member
1 month ago

Jealous! When people have that many questions and opinions about your life, they are SEVERELY lacking something in themselves. Just empty. I feel bad for them. Ya'll keep on being fabulous!!

Craymoss
Community Member
1 month ago

I used to date a big girl and I was fit kinda like this dude. Never really been social media, and this was kinda before it all took off so, but I’m sure we got looks all the time, just like she gets these comments. Humans are just assholes, s**t, we see it even in the animal world..

AndersM
Community Member
1 month ago

Why is Dan Bilzerian standig in the background?

Karen Lyon
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

I have nephews in a similar situation. One's not overly fit physically, but he does like to run, and we aren't a family that tends to be overweight. His wife is, by anyone's measures, heavy. She is also absolutely perfect for him and is an amazing, funny, smart, talented woman. We adore her. His younger brother is quite handsome. He just moved in with (and might just marry) a woman who isn't model pretty. My sister and niece met her at the older nephew's wedding and thought she was wonderful. My brother, SIL, and the youngest of their three sons have given their whole hearted endorsement of that relationship, as has her father. I can tell that both couples are happily, madly in love, and have found the best people for them. That is all that matters to me Looks fade. Character is forever. Screw those idiots that don't get it.

Jane Alexander
Community Member
1 month ago

It's not about us Ladies, it's just some low end skags that has to come after our good looking husbands. The poor things are so deprived/depraved they can't know what makes a good marriage; stuff like putting up with the low end skags that come for him...

Tanya hanna
Community Member
1 month ago

I commend you for the strength and self love you have radiating from your soul! I advocate for depression and suicide awareness and prevention, and you are so right about people being conditioned to believe that beauty only exists on the condition of your shell. I am disabled and spend my time chatting with many people that let that kind of poison into their minds and it festers there, until they learn to understand that those people that have those comments are more troubled than anyone they point their bullying to, or; unfortunately the internal fight against negativity, ultimately takes over and they decide that it is too much and they can not fight anymore. You are a beacon for others, and you keep that up! Thank you for giving us your story to share with all who need to learn that ugly only comes from the inside, and if someone is ugly inside, all the "beauty" they think they have.. is meaningless.

Rebecca R
Community Member
1 month ago

As someone who is still pretty fit after having 2 children, we always hear what a ‘beautiful family’ we are. However, my husband and I have had a very difficult marriage and, while physical attraction is great, we would both rather be married to people we had more in common with.

jane don
Community Member
1 month ago

A Holes who don't have such a Loving relationship try to bring others down so they can feel better-& I'm betting the vast majority of these folks are Republican/Conservative leaning (probably "Good" Christians)

Raccoon panda
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

If I were a dude that had to choose between a pretty face and a winning personality, I’d go for the one I could stand having conversations with in the nursing home. And if I were a lady with a winning personality, you BET I could score almost any guy I want. Muscles are only one bonus, and they mean absolutely nothing without a great heart. Honestly, if this is a loving couple, they’re better than most power couples out there. (And besides, she’s not ugly, just heavy. It goes without saying that our beauty standards are meant to exclude people and scapegoat them.)

Tenacious Squirrel
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people are shallow and weird. My ex was a very good looking guy - by that I mean he seemed to be considered really attractive by everyone and got a lot of comments/attention. He once came to meet me at a work event. A female colleague, who was around 15 years older than me, made some comment when he walked in and kept staring at him. Later she approached me and said “Wow. You have done really well for yourself getting him.” I found it really offensive and kind of… lecherous. I wish I’d said something but I didn’t at the time.

Momogi
Community Member
1 month ago

"10/10 girl" is not going to guarantee a happy marriage like he has right now with his wife.

No One
Community Member
1 month ago

I can relate. My husband has always been a 10 and I’m a solid 3. I’ve always felt judged by others. But my husband loves me and we are still deeply in love after 23 years of marriage.

Anyone-for-tea?
Community Member
1 month ago

That last statement was very powerful: it’s the way we think because it’s what we are taught, but it’s our responsibility to unlearn it - or something along those lines.

Cassie
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people are just very shallow.

Jay Son
Community Member
1 month ago

People sometimes really sicken me. Who are they to judge? >:(

Erik Ivan
Community Member
1 month ago

This is so strange for several reasons. 1) if they love each other, who cares how they look? 2) looks is temporarly. Almost no one will look the same when 30 as they look when they6nturn 50 - as an example.

Brenda
Community Member
1 month ago

When I first started dating my husband, people said "He doesn't look like your type." Or what do you see in him? How can you date someone who doesn't like to go out like you? I fell in love because he made me feel special, beautiful and loved. I never cared about looks etc. He's funny, caring, loved kids, just wanted to make me happy. 25 years later (July 19th) he still does. People need to look past the outside and see what's inside

Aaricia
Community Member
1 month ago

I *most likely* have pcos and I am fat due to too many wrong hormones so I'll probably never be thin unless I get into menopause and hope for the best. I've always had beauty issues due to this sh!t society focused on weight. This article made me cry, now I know there is hope for me to find love. I know for sure my future husband is walking somewhere, we both just don't know it yet.

Tiffany Harvill
Community Member
1 month ago

She is beautiful! People need to stop hating on people just because they can not see the beauty with in themselves. 🙄

Alison Kennedy
Community Member
1 month ago

All I want to know is, does he have a brother with similar values?

NannyChachi
Community Member
1 month ago

Me, divorced with 4 kids, 240lbs. Him, divorced with 2 kids, 180lbs, successful electrician with money in the bank. Married 18.5 years and still in love. He saw my humor, craftiness, cooking skills, work ethic. He also saw my loyalty to him. He says the clincher was my homemade biscuits, though. Lol

Simba
Community Member
1 month ago

Shallow Hal

Kiwii Stone
Community Member
1 month ago

I just thought how stunning she was, more so than him, lol

Lily Mae Kitty
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm 40 lbs overweight and my ex-professional soccer player husband is the same size at 58 that he was at 18. He looks like he's in his 40s, as well. I don't even dye my hair. I was pretty hot when we met but was chunky, just like I am chunky now. He's 3 years younger than me but looks much younger than that. People probably think we don't fit either but here we are. Oddly enough, my 1st husband was also an ex-professional soccer player. I like athletic men. I have never been even slightly athletic.

Minnie-me
Community Member
1 month ago

you are a beautiful couple and people are just jealous! Get it girl!

Justine Nicole
Community Member
1 month ago

This is so sad. How hard it is to beleive that some people out there really do just value who someone is, genuinely. I'm a woman and my entire life, whoever I'm dating, people bully the person I'm with about how they got lucky and I am way out of their league. It is so rude. I've always valued personality and it's the only thing I care about. So if I'm dating someone "overweight" "poor" and "unattractive" people just make a such a big deal about it. I like what I like. I like someone who treats me great and makes me laugh. Period.

NicNor5560
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

When we go to Denny's my husband always takes a milkshake. Twice now the same waitress said to him that he can "afford" it. And she said it like it's a compliment. My husband does have a belly (not much) but it's mostly hidden when he sits down. I'm much bigger. He took it as a side-trash to me so he was insulted but didn't say anything - yet. If beauty was calculated in pounds, we wouldn't be together anymore. We met I was 80 lb. and he was 128 lb. TG it's not just about weight; we've been together 30+ years.

Mama Penguin
Community Member
1 month ago

It's similar with my husband and I. He was taken off a medication several months ago and lost a noticeable amount of weight. I, on the other hand, have gained a bit since we got married, though I'm still wearing the same size. My mom commented on how I should lose weight too, since he's slimmed down. As if someone's gonna swoop down and steal my husband lol. My husband confessed to me that on our first date, he can't take his eyes off my full hips and thick thighs in skinny jeans. If I told my conservative Catholic mom this, she will clutch her pearls and faint 😂 Sometimes I feel like my body is a contentious piece of land up for an open argument. Everytime, my husband would remind me how he loves me for me, outside and inside.

Iriané Marie Laurentwolff
Community Member
1 month ago

Envy. That's all. People trying soo hard to be a 10/10 and olny gets a guy - 8/-9 who cheats and robs them. So all that negativity is just envy

Crouching hippo hidden panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I think this is negative people projecting their insecurities, not that it’s even remotely justifiable to say such horrid things to someone who is obviously happy in her own skin and in her relationship. People are jealous and society has made overweight people fair game. Good for her for making a stand. And I think they’re well matched! Don’t even see where the comments are coming from

Jay Broderick
Community Member
1 month ago

Alicia is physically fit. You should see her workouts!!! She is so amazing. That vapid "10" needs a reality check

Mokayokok
Community Member
1 month ago

All the commenters at the bottom are all full of so much s**t, commenting how it's not fair that ppl question it, knowing full well they'd be the first to see them and be like, "WTH, why did this dude come with her". Also, a lot of ppl, look wise, fits to mirror this lady (overweight) so of course they're going to want to contribute to screaming no far, but I want to read what the attractive ppl - like in his league - say about it. Attractive ppls lives are just easier, everyone like looking at attractive ppl & they're more catered to when applying for jobs, etc., it's ingrained into our DNA to look for what they perceive as the most attractive counterparts - this isn't a learned behavior, it's been in our DNA since the beginning so, OF COURSE, seeing this couple is confusing as if he settled regardless as to whether that's actually true in their relationship.

Potato
Community Member
1 month ago

I don't consider myself extremely attractive, but I've had people tell me I "can do better" or "ew" when I tell them who I'm attracted to. For me, people's personality merges with their face. If they're kind and funny, they become better looking in my eyes. If they're jerks, they become physically uglier to me. Like they could be a 10 by society's standards, but the moment they insult a puppy they instantly look like a 1.

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Nikhita Clement
Community Member
1 month ago

Okay but they're both pretty?

Dill
Community Member
1 month ago

That as might be but it isn't at all the point. He values her for far more than her mere outward appearance.

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Unnamed Hooman
Community Member
1 month ago

What the heck is wrong with them??? She is a very beautiful woman!

Martin Heston
Community Member
1 month ago

Although people shouldn’t make unkind comments you can understand why people question their relationship. Couples are not usually that disproportionately different looks wise. Let’s see where this couple is in a years time…

Jenna
Community Member
1 month ago

They've been together like 15 years already, I'm sure they'll still be together in a year.

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Nick Bond
Community Member
1 month ago

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Utter c**p. Being obese is terribly unhealthy and is not something to be celebrated or accepted as normal. FFS.

GayBoi
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh get a life Karen.

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clairelise@pacific.net
Community Member
1 month ago

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It's not jealousy. It's societal conditioning to worship an unhealthy and unrealistic beauty standard, and it's relatively new: for most of humanity's recorded history, women with healthy bodies were considered the standard of beauty. The rule was men should be muscular and almost skeletal, and women voluptuous. Pink and red, being very loud, aggressive colors, have been "male" colors for the majority of human history; "pink for girls and blue for boys" is less than 300 years old. The "attractive" women of today are starving because homosexual fashion designers think prepubescent boys are the epitome of sexual desirability.

Brat hard
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

What's the deal low self esteem on his part, your money or little bit of both? I have seen people with less attractive SO/ but you guys are opposite ends of spectrum something is fishy

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

What a load of c**p. Everyone has different tastes, doesn't mean money or self esteem have anything to do with it. Your no better than all the other assholes thinking she is not worthy and that there must be another reason as to why he loves her besides the fact that he just does.

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signore cappelletti
Community Member
1 month ago

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....stop living your lives on social media peeps................good f'in grief !!!

Caligirl20
Community Member
1 month ago

It's their lives, they can do whatever they want.

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Max L.
Community Member
1 month ago

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Im so sorry. They look a lovely couple. Sure she would be better loose some weight with a balanced diet not to have any leftover skin in the region of loosing 4-5 kgs per month, but I think they’re a nice couple.

Potato
Community Member
1 month ago

You really don't know anything about her current diet or health, though.

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Rick
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It seems a lot of people want the adoration, the likes and the Patreon cash and do so by sharing every minute detail of their life with strangers, but then get highly offended when said strangers leave comments they don’t like.

-
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

I like my privacy, but I don't mind learning from others who are less timid. Someone's public-facing presence doesn't really prompt me to put them down. If I disagree with someone, I'd rather ask questions or state my arguments in a civil manner. That said, there are the odd exceptions where  I get a bit caustic, but a fat person with a fit person would not be one of them.     So I do agree that being public leaves one more vulnerable to negative comments, but I don't condone backlash for something that harms no one.

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JinjoBread
Community Member
1 month ago

TikTok is an absolute s**t hole.

Pas VotreAffaire
Community Member
1 month ago

As is Twatter.

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DuchessDegu
Community Member
1 month ago

Some people are trash, and insanely jealous. They're so vapid and their only asset is their half plastic body!

Tash
Community Member
1 month ago

It amazes me that people have the audacity to be so incredibly rude about someone else's looks.

Troux
Community Member
1 month ago

Something that's kind of getting overlooked in this article is his perspective. There are more reasons to get fit than just 'to pick up women.' Maybe it's something he enjoys doing, maybe he's been inspired to accomplish something, maybe he has been working hard to overcome his past unfit self, or maybe he just wants to look good for himself. We see a lot of stories like this from women when strangers assume that if they dress up or wear makeup, it's only because they want to get hit on.

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Celeste Grant
Community Member
1 month ago

I have experienced the same except for us it's because I am disabled by chronic illness and am a wheelchair user. People don't get that my partner loves me; I've had people say he must be with me because he feels sorry for me, as well as cruel comments asking about our sex lives insinuating that he must "have a fetish" or worse that he must be cheating because everyone knows a disabled person can't have sex (sorry that's sarcasm do those who might miss the point). It can be really hurtful but he always challenges people on their attitude when he witnesses it. People just can't seem to see past my disability or my wheelchair, as if that's all I am. He would tell you a list of the reasons he loves me, and the only reason my health would be mentioned would be that he admires how I deal with all the pain and complications I have to deal with. I'm lucky but he would say he is too.

Amanda Reicha
Community Member
1 month ago

I totally understand. My disability is an invisible one (epilepsy), but I've had comments about why would my husband want to have a burden. I am dependent on him for just about everything (transportation, income, and depending what they are and what kind of day I'm having, simple house chores. I take up a lot of his free time, so people want to know why he wants to be with me. He's a very caring person and helping me doesn't bother me. We were friends long before we were married.

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JustJackie
Community Member
1 month ago

So because she's bigger than him, she's not worthy of his love?! What are all these skinny people doing that makes them better than her, except for being skinny? They know nothing about her. Good for her for not letting the bullies stay anonymous, and calling them out. I wouldn't have the mental strength or patience to deal with all that hate. And she even tries to educate them....Seems like all they have are their thin bodies...What happens when they gain weight, and god forbid become fat..

Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Over my 45 years I have been as small as 105 lbs, and as big as 170 (without being pregnant), and I'm 5'5", so pretty short. Currently, I weigh about 115ish, and it HURTS. 😱 Who tf wants to sit on BONES?! They're HARD! As are most seats! Even a soft se sa t is uncomfortable after awhile if you have a couple broomsticks under your a**e! 😳🤣🤣 So, yeah, skinny people being skinny is NOT a special ability, nor something people should aspire to. 😊

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Charlotte
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm overweight and my boyfriend absolutely LOVES how I look. He's a scrawny little thing that bikes and plays ice hockey. I'm a hippo that makes a mean chili when he's done training. He washes my hair in the shower and feeds me chocolate. I massage his shoulders and send him lame memes. We spend so much time in bed, it's not even funny. Screw ancient beauty nonsense.

Aroha
Community Member
1 month ago

I have never been accepted and loved like this, as myself. But your description of what a relationship can be just gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe I could be this lucky one day. 😊

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Notyomama
Community Member
1 month ago

I can't tell you the amount of times I have heard a woman say," How is SHE married and I'm not?" My answer?? Probably because they have a decent personality instead of being a vapid salty cow.

Iapetos
Community Member
1 month ago

HEY! Cows are lovely!

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Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 month ago

Sounds like a bunch of jealous, catty women who have men that aren't as attractive or don't have one at all.

Potato
Community Member
1 month ago

I think some of those comments were from men as well

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Dutchman Callypso
Community Member
1 month ago

One of the many reasons I deleted TikTok. It's a whole new level of toxic out there...

Lizzie Lola
Community Member
1 month ago

Literally had it for less than 24 hours

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 month ago

I hear ya. Fortunately I've never had any comments but I have had stares when I have been out with my hubby. He is fit and good looking whilst I am obese and extremely unattractive, especially by societies beauty standards. We started dating when I was very slim and after 20 years and excess weight gain, he still finds me attractive.

Albert
Community Member
1 month ago

“Extremely unattractive…” Well let me tell you, a lot of people write comments on BoredPanda. With three people I know before reading it, their comments are always going to be pleasant, thoughtful, insightful, sometimes witty and generally nice comments. And you are one of those three. So your physical appearance may be “extremely unattractive” (I'm gonna take your word on that), but to me your comments on BoredPanda are always “extremely attractive”! Now I suddenly feel the urge to go watch the movie ‘Shallow Hal’ again…