"My GF Confessed That She Only Started Dating Me Because Her Roommate Convinced Her To Go On A Pity Date"

Who hasn’t had a crush in high school? Perhaps very few of us. But even fewer have had the chance to date and fall in love with our high school crushes later in life. Sounds like a fairy tale? Not necessarily. Sometimes, you don’t know when the lightning will strike.

This guy met his high school crush again and had the courage to ask her out. Three years later, they were the happiest couple in the world. However, one evening, her BFF blurted out the real reason she went on that first date with him – out of pity. After finding that out, the guy started spiraling – was his relationship really what he thought it was?

A guy found out his GF went out with him initially out of pity

Image credits: Egor Ivlev (not the actual photo)

He didn’t know how to feel about it and asked people online for advice

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

Image source: throwRAsafee

Many people don’t experience love at first sight and fall in love more gradually and slowly

The idea of love that many of us may have in our minds is love at first sight. You see your person somewhere in the crowd, lightning strikes, and you spend the rest of your lives together. A whopping 54% of men and 44% of women have reported experiencing love at first sight, according to a Match.com survey.

Yet, as this story perfectly illustrates, love comes in many different ways and at many different speeds. Instead of a lightning strike, some stories may burn more slowly and take a while for the person to realize that they’re really in love.

Love doesn’t come in an instant to everyone; some people truly fall in love once they know the person a little bit better. According to a 2021 study, an average of 68% of couples start out as friends. This is especially true for those under the age of 30 and is relevant across all orientations and preferences.

Some research suggests that love and attraction can build up over time. In a 2017 Chinese study, 38% of the participants fell in love fast, and 35% fell in love slowly. Another Iranian study confirmed this hypothesis, as 70% of its participants fell in love slowly or very slowly.

There is a cultural component to this, of course, but research from the U.S. also suggests something similar. Professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, Arthur Aron, studies interpersonal relationships and intimacy. What he and his colleagues have found is that even in controlled studies with strangers, talking about hopes, dreams, likes, and dislikes can bring two strangers together.

Attraction can trick us into thinking a connection is initially stronger than it really is

Some experts even say that what many of us think of as “love at first sight” is mere physical attraction. It might be why, for many people, the saying “A crush is just a lack of information” really rings true.

Cheryl Fraser, PhD, a psychologist and creator of Become Passion, told Today that there is a difference between falling in love and being in love. “‘Falling in love’ is an altered state of emotional and biochemical factors mixed into a cocktail of [attraction] and psychological attachment that are admittedly delicious… but very much temporary.”

Indeed, our brains “in love” might even trick us into thinking that the connection is stronger than it really is. “Our bodies become flooded with dopamine, that pleasure neurotransmitter, and oxytocin, that chemical that makes us feel close and bonded to other people,” Susan Albers, PsyD, psychologist for the Cleveland Clinic, explains. “So, although we may not have a genuine connection with someone, the chemicals in our body are sending us signals that we feel close to someone.”

How much a partner is into you initially may not be the best indicator of how long your love will last. Research shows that the best predictors of later romantic desire and dating are compatibility and romantic interest. So, just because someone doesn’t feel the spark initially, it doesn’t mean there’s no chance for a loving relationship down the line.

“Those deliciously crazy feelings may not last forever,” Cheryl Fraser adds. “But they can keep us interested long enough that we delve deeply into the real stuff of long-term love — the conversations, the [intimacy], the sharing of hopes and dreams that can mix with infatuation and give birth to an exceptional relationship.”

The guy was confident that his girlfriend’s feelings for him were real

Commenters assured the guy he probably had nothing to worry about: “You won her over, dude!”

One person shared a similar story

However, others thought this should be a dealbreaker

Surprisingly, the story had an incredibly wholesome and cute ending

Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Victor De Santiago (not the actual photo)

Image source: throwRAsafee

“Finally, a success story,” commenters reacted

Others shared their similar success stories

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