Wife Discovers Husband’s “Game” With Coworkers, Can’t Even Look At Him Anymore

It’s nice to get along well with co-workers and maybe even get together after work sometimes. Though, for some people, it happens on a regular basis, and sometimes it gets pretty wild.

This redditor shared that her husband, a senior partner at a banking firm, spends time with his co-workers after work quite often, which has led to some pretty serious bad behavior, presented as fun drunken antics in the past. The woman opened up about one of such antics that has left her feeling hurt and violated, though her husband believed it was something they should be able to laugh at.

It’s not unheard of for people to spend time with their co-workers after the workday is done

Man in suit holding a cocktail, seated, highlighting "coworkers' game" context, and wearing a wristwatch.

Image credits: Oscar Söderlund / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Though this woman felt that her husband’s drunken antics with his co-workers had crossed the line

Text discussing feelings of hurt over a husband's coworker behavior at work parties.

Text about husband attending a coworker's game night at a hotel, wife feeling apprehensive.

Text message discussing coworkers' game, causing wife's concern.

Woman in a knitted sweater looking concerned while checking her phone, symbolizing relationship tension over a coworker's game.

Image credits: Chris Yang / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text describing a coworkers' game involving wives' belongings, leaving the wife uncomfortable and unable to face her husband.

Hands holding white frilly underwear, related to husband's coworkers' game.

Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text of wife upset over husband's coworkers' game, feeling betrayed and unable to face him.

Image credits: Adept-Pepper-5859

Many couples fight over the amount of quality time spent together

It’s not uncommon for people’s work life to become intertwined with their personal one. And it’s also not unheard of for that to have a negative impact on their relationships, especially those with their significant others. The long hours at the office, constant talks about their “work spouse”, or spending the little free time they have with their co-workers might become too difficult for people’s partners to be supportive of; or even tolerate, for that matter.

While “spending time with co-workers” didn’t make it to the list of the most common things couples fight about, the “amount of quality time spent together” made it to the top ten, according to a YouGov’s survey from 2022. Bearing that in mind, it’s not surprising that some people might feel bitter if their significant other decides to spend more time with the individuals they see at work every day rather than their own partner.

But, as the OP’s example shows, sometimes, it’s not about the amount of time spent, but rather about the activities that time was spent for. The aforementioned survey found that friendships or social activities outside of the relationship were a common reason for fighting, too, and it’s safe to assume that when social activities entail sneaking out with one’s spouse’s underwear in their hand, it doesn’t make the relationship any better.

Some people tend to make their co-workers’ spouses uncomfortable

Image credits: Hrant Khachatryan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

It’s no secret that setting clear boundaries is important for the well-being of a romantic relationship. For instance, if your partner is getting increasingly close to their work spouse and it’s making you uncomfortable, you might want to express your concern or let them know how that makes you feel and set a boundary you wish your significant other respected.

According to the Office Pulse survey from 2017, a whopping 70% of business professionals at that time had—or have had—a work spouse, marking an increase from 65% in 2010 and 32% in 2006. The survey also found that quite a few people with such spouses have taken their relationship a tad too far, with 7% admitting that they have “definitely crossed the line”, and an additional 6% saying that they “may have crossed the line”.

Whether or not there’s reason to worry about work spouses, many people still do – 7% of male and 2% of female business professionals say that their actual spouse is jealous of their work spouse. Additionally, 11% of males and 5% of females feel the need to hide their work spouse from the actual one.

Talking about boundaries and people’s relationship inside and outside of work, BACP-registered counsellor and therapist, Lindsay George told The Independent that like most preferences and dynamics in relationships, the boundaries that work best for people also differ from couple to couple.

The expert pointed out that when a work spouse comes into the picture, it’s normal to feel a little jealous or threatened. However, if you feel this way, it might be best to try talking about it with your partner. “Explain how their relationship is affecting you and that you need help understanding it better,” George told The Independent. “Ask for reassurance. Find out why they like spending time together; do they give each other emotional support? Do they share common interests? And if so, what are these?”

Even though the OP’s problem with her husband’s co-workers wasn’t a work spouse or the threat such a person might present, explaining how their relationship—and the games they play—is affecting her might not be a bad idea. Some netizens in the comments even suggested that the woman should reevaluate her relationship altogether.

People in the comments sided with the woman; they didn’t think the co-workers’ games were appropriate

Reddit thread discussing husband's coworkers' game and its impact on marriage and partnerships.

Reddit comment discussing toxic masculinity and HR issues in law firms.

Reddit comments discussing an inappropriate work event and potential lawsuits involving a husband's coworkers' game.

Comment saying "That's just weird" related to husband's coworkers' game.

Text from an online comment about husband's coworkers' game, expressing disappointment.

Comment saying "Your husband has no respect for you," referring to coworkers' game revelation.

A comment discussing a coworker's inappropriate party behavior linked to marriage issues.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a husband's coworkers' controversial game.

Comment by user discussing uncomfortable situation related to husband's coworkers' game.

Reddit comment criticizing a husband's juvenile behavior involving coworkers' inappropriate game.

Comment advises reporting coworkers' game to HR, suggesting workplace misconduct action.

Reddit comment discussing issues in a marriage related to a husband's coworkers' game.

Reddit comment discussing contacting senior partners about a potentially damaging coworker "game.

Reddit comment saying "You married a t**d" in response to wife's discovery about coworkers' game.

Comment discussing coworkers' game and advising action, related to husband's workplace.

Comment discussing a husband's coworkers' game and deceptive actions, highlighting wrongdoing.

Text comment on a thread about a husband's coworkers' "game," discussing the situation's inappropriateness.

Reddit discussion about a husband's coworkers' game, addressing harassment and blame issues.

The wife shared more details with fellow netizens

Reddit thread discussing husband's coworkers' game excluding wives, raising relationship tensions.

Comments about a husband's coworkers causing trouble at a party, with mentions of social dynamics and broken items.

Reddit conversation about a husband's coworkers' "game" involving inappropriate behavior.

Reddit conversation about husband's coworkers' inappropriate "game" and its consequences.

A couple people shared similar stories about their partners

Text image discussing a shocking work party game involving women’s underwear, reflecting on inappropriate team building activities.

Text about wife's reaction to husband's coworkers' game, highlighting a personal story.

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