White Woman Is Shamed For ‘Cultural Appropriation’ For Going To A Salon That Specializes In Black Hair
Anything can spark a political controversy, even the blunt choices people make every day. This time, we’re diving into the internet’s dilemma that came from a 30-year-old woman who recently shared the tricky situation she got into on the r/AITA subreddit.
“I have always struggled with my hair,” the author recounted and added that the family she was adopted into did little to properly care for her hair, “leading to huge knots and my hair massacred by scissors to make it short.”
It changed when the author got into university, where she met her best friend, who was black. “She showed me hair products from brands intended for black people that really helped with my hair quality and even took me to the salon she went to that catered for black hair types.”
From that point, the author realized that black hair salons were the only place that could really take care of her hair, and she hasn’t looked back ever since. But now that she’s been accused of appropriating black culture by a white friend, the author seeks to find out whether it’s really okay to go to black hair salons.
The 30 y.o. white woman with thick, curly hair says she’s always struggled with her hair, but now that she’s found salons that specialize in black hair, she couldn’t be happier
Image credits: ljubaphoto (not the actual photo)
But she recently got accused of appropriating black culture, so she shared the incident on r/AITA to find out whether she’s wrong to go to black hair salons
Image credits: throwawayamitastoty
The term ‘cultural appropriation’ refers to the adoption of an element or elements of one culture or identity by members of another culture or identity. This becomes controversial when members of a dominant culture appropriate from minority cultures. These elements may include but are not limited to fashion, styles, trends, iconography, artifacts, ideas, speech and so on.
Some of the most talked-about examples of cultural appropriation have been Myley Cyrus twerking, white girls wearing cornrows, Kim Kardashian wearing ‘Om’ earrings, and Selena Gomez wearing Bindi. While many white offenders received huge backlash for appropriating other cultures, others claim it’s an inevitable process, something that’s part of globalization.
The critics of those who take cultural appropriation as an offense claim that guarding cultures and subcultures is essentially counterproductive, and that’s not how culture and creativity work. The exchange of ideas, styles, and traditions is one of the tenets and joys of a modern, multicultural society.
In most cases, cultural appropriation depends on a particular situation and context, thus no general rules of do’s and don’ts can be made. While some cases of cultural appropriation appear to be clearly unethical and exploitative of culture, others fall under the blurred line of what we call an act of appropriated culture.
And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation
It's a weird segregation they preach. "Only use products invented by, meant for, your cultural/ethnic type".
Load More Replies...
If the salon and her hairdresser don't want a white woman's money, they're totally free to ask her to take her business elsewhere. But if they don't, then this is what you call "supporting black-owned businesses".
Uhm.. I'm sorry, I'm not from the US, but here it would be unimaginable and utterly against the law to refuse business based on race. As it should be. Asking someone to take their business elsewhere because they're white just seems morally wrong to me.
Load More Replies...
The ladies black best friend showed her the products and took her to the salon. Why the HELL do her white friends think they know better? Why do they think they can speak on behalf of black people?? Also, am I missing something - shouldn't we ALL be supporting black owned businesses where we can? This type of article makes my blood boil but has to be shared.
I am Puerto Rican but the white looking kind. I've been told it's cultural appreciation and inappropriate that I wear my naturally thick curly hair curly. First of all, I'm ethnic, second of all, anyone with curly should embrace their curly hair. It's natural and has not ethnic boundaries and telling someone they should be ashamed of their naturally curly hair is just toxic.
Can I quote you to my one longtime bestie? She is totally anglo in heritage, but her red hair has the supercurly-curly curls that supposedly don't happen to western Europeans. She's been mocked for years, and hates her hair. I think it's gorgeous!
Load More Replies...
White woman here. Irish heritage with blonde, very, very curly, fine hair. If someone spills a drink within 50 feet of me, the extra humidity causes uncontrollable frizz. In college, a black girl saw me struggle every morning to try to tame my frizz-mop and introduced me to two things: a leave-in conditioning spray for dry hair and the satin bonnet - both of which are traditionally used by black women. Let me tell you, they changed my life. She also showed me how to use a hot iron at a very low temp so I didn't burn my hair if I wanted to wear it straight. I still (27 years out of college) still use both of them and my hair is much more manageable and healthier. I have never once considered that I may be culturally appropriating anything. I am just taking care of my hair, and if it wasn't for that lady, I would probably still have a terrible time with my hair.
A lot of people's idea of what "Cultural appropriation" is is so off, it's become incredibly ridiculous.
These hair products aren’t only for black people. They’re just mainly used by black people because they’re most commonly the ones with that certain hair type.
In the UK it has just become a legal requirement for hair stylists to train to style all racial hair types. The concept of black hair salons won't even exist for long
Specialists will always exist, and people will always prefer specialists over "we-do-everything" types of shops. It's the same reason I take my car to a specialist mechanic, nobody can be good-at and have excellent experience with everything.
Load More Replies...
Yeah, when it's only your white friends calling it cultural appropriation, and the black salon is happy to have your business and do your hair, you know who's right. Plus, there is a lot of hair knowledge that can be shared across cultural lines without it being appropriation. I had a former coworker who was a middle aged black woman who'd been wearing her hair natural for most of her life, and she was a self-professed hair care nerd. She was a fountain of hair care knowledge and turned me on to a number of products and processes that made a huge difference in the health of my white girl mostly straight but frizzy hair. And was happy to do so for anyone at work. Gave advice to some of the curly haired white girls too. She knew what it was like to have hair that required a lot of TLC so she was happy to share what she had learned, and she also knew and understood a lot more about the differences between hair types than any white hair stylist I've ever met.
And this woman wasn't a hair stylist, either! She was just someone who had gotten really into learning about hair care in her quest to find out the best things to do for her own hair. She talked about having to mix product and use some product on parts of her hair but not others, because she had like a 3b curl pattern at the front, a tighter 4a curl at kind of the sides and top, and really tight 4b with even some 4c at the very back of her head! At one point I was telling her something about a hair issue I was having and she told me to do a red palm oil hair mask and how. I came to work after doing it and was just like "FEEL MY HAIR" "Ooh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Do that once a week, it'll really help with that frizz." "EVERY WOMAN NEEDS A YOU." A fairy godmother of hair.
Load More Replies... As a white woman with curly hair I feel for the OP. Unfortunately many stylists don’t know where to even begin with curly hair no matter your skin stone. If it was the stylist or salon owner that had brought up this issue I would be worried, but I think the “friend” is overreacting.
I mean if there was a shortage of products and they had to be rationed... nope even then I still can't see the point. Those products are for a specific hair type, not a specific hair colour. Yes it's a hair type that predominantly occurs in black people, but when a white person has the type of hair those products are designed for then clearly they should be using them. The OP's friends seem like they want to move to 1950s America when you had white only services and 'coloured' only services. They're literally saying that all non-black people should BOYCOTT black owned businesses and then claim we're doing it for their own good. And it's not cultural appropriation. That's when you use things that have particular cultural or religious significance for one group for fashion or just for play or when you are profiting from the culture of others while they are prohibited from doing the same.
She can get her hair done where she likes. Race exclusions stopped years ago; or have they?
Lucky you to find someone who knows how to care properly for your type of hair. I had to learn how to do my own because living in China nobody has been trained how to properly care for western hair, particularly colouring. They will claim to have been trained in Paris or wherever but only on Asian hair.
So this woman’s friends told her she couldn’t do something because of the colour on her skin? Hang on, there’s a term for that……
I think the only persons to ask about the opinion about this are the people in the salon!
By the friend's logic, I shouldn't listen to Jimi Hendrix or Kendrick Lamar, or watch movies with Idris Elba or Denzel Washington, because I'm white. Silly. My primary care physician is a black man; am I culturally appropriating his time away from black patients? Of course not.
It's hair. Her hair needs special products to "work". Salons that have these products and can make this hair "work" are for the people who need it, no matter the skin color or background. Soooo NTA!
As cert965 said it's about different types of hair, and im curious as to why beauty schools (im guessing) dont do a broad spectrum teaching of hair (I realise the extra amount of learning it would take). Then you could have all in one salons or something where it's not 'black salons' and 'salons'
Might be more a matter of exposure and experience than a lack of teaching. Stylists who only cut hair that has certain characteristics will naturally feel out of their element when dealing with other hair types.
Load More Replies...
Sure. Let‘s have salons exclusively for black people and salons exclusively for white people. That certainly sounds anti-racist.
Who cares. The barber needs money and you need service so go ahead and exchange. That is how trade works.
Exactly just like when a village needs to get rid of a Grave Hag they hire a Witcher. LMAO.
Load More Replies...
Many of these gatekeepers are actually so racist that it's tiresome.
I really can't wrap my head around the stupidity of her white friends. In trying to be woke, her friends instead give off epic "separate but equal" vibes.
She says her hair is “3c, if you know what that means.” Well, her black stylists know exactly what it means, and therefore know exactly how to cut and style her hair, and what products will work best for it. She started going to black salons on the advice of her black friend with similar hair. Her friends are just being dumbasses.
"Performative allyship" is a great phrase to describe what these people do when their being an ally is more about performance than actually being an active ally.
Cultural appropriation means someone's culture is being exploited or used inappropriately. For example, buying a bracelet with a Native American design, when the bracelet is mass produced in China and sold at a major chain retailer at the mall... cultural appropriation. Buying a bracelet with a Native American design, when it was handmade by a Native American artist... not cultural appropriation. Buying a Buddha statue because you are a Buddhist and want to put it in your meditation area... not cultural appropriation. Collecting Buddha statues because you think they're a cool thing to decorate your house with... cultural appropriation. Criticizing a white person for patronizing a black-owned business isn't being "woke," it's just being racist.
Good lord. I (30s white woman) have 3C-4C baby-fine curls, living someplace with hot, humid weather, and I have had to train every stylist I’ve ever gone to on how to deal with my hair. I probably would be going to a salon or stylist who specializes in black hair if I hadn’t finally found a stylist who listened. I love discussing curly hair with different women of color as they are frequently the only ones who understand how to deal with it. I also use products marketed toward black customers, and it’s been awesome. I’ve never heard the “cultural appropriation” line for using the products, but I have met other curlies who are reluctant to try a product because of marketing.
Was a single one of the people complaining actually black? If not I wouldn’t worry about it. Give them your business.
This is crazy to me- the friends are suggesting you should take your business elsewhere? Because I'm certain the shop you're being styled at is happy to have you as a client. And you are supporting a black owned business. These friends have a skewed view on things IMO
I am of the mind that if you TRULY support black people, black women, black men, black businesses, you'll do so with your MONEY. But a lot of us white folks go so freaking hard trying to be sure we are not being seen as racist, that we take up mantles that the community is not concerned with. There are a lot of well-meaning white folks getting it wrong right now. And I have absolutely been one in the past and will likely be in the future. The trick is to take criticism, be teachable, and instead of being dramatic, pull up your bootstraps and try to do the next right thing. Don't make it about you.
People are so stupid that they don't understand how economics work. More customers = more revenue for black businesses = growth of Black businesses. I once heard someone say that it's cultural appropriation for non-black ppl to listen to Beyoncé's songs, Formation and Brown-Skin Girl. Like, they literally want to reduce the sales of those tracks in the name of "fighting racism".
It's always white people saying something is racist or cultural appropriation. Don't even bother listening to them. The only person that has any right to say something about it, is the owner of the shop, because he can refuse your business. And he won't. Because black people don't care that you use hair products and a salon catered to black people's hair. If it works, it works. You using it, doesn't mean they can't, so who cares? You have silly woke leftist 'friends' and need to find some new ones.
Woke people are comatose. This mindset is so bad. Always putting people in boxes... If you are a certain pigment you are only allowed to do certain things... So racists and closed minded. And they think they are soooo tolerant. Scary.
That other white woman literally said only black people are only allowed to used black people things, going against everything MLK said. This is the problem I see with the left and liberals. I also see that Republicans/the right are also not perfect, but I tend to side with them more because of the amount of times I've seen this segregation and internal strife within the left
If the salon has no problem, neither should you. If people would loosen up and act like race is not a big deal, then it would not be a big deal.
honey if we are going by "only people who share the race of the inventor can use the invention" then only Asians can use stem cell transplants, paper ( not papyrus), gunpowder, compasses, bells, coffins, lacquer, rice, acupuncture and banknotes to name a few Asian inventions. Some of which ARE EXTREMELY USEFUL AND CAN SAVE LIVES
Ugh. Yeah, people really don't understand what cultural appropriation is. Basically, if you're stealing something cultural and using it arbitrarily. Cultural! For instance, wearing traditional garb as a costume or as just every-day wear without any regard for the culture it came from. Not appropriation: wearing that traditional garb respectfully and with acknowledgement to an event related to that culture in which the garb would be appropriate. Supporting a business run by people of a different race is not appropriation, especially if it's something like this. This is just silly.
If you are paying a Black-owned shop for services and Black-owned hair products, that's not appropriation. Now, if that same white woman decided to start a shop of her own, using the techniques she learned from the Black shops, and made her own products that were similar to the Black-owned products, that would be appropriation.
Her friends are idiots. I don't care what color your skin (or hair) is, when you find a good stylist, you stay there! How is it inappropriate when the stylist and the salon are getting paid for their services? I have a friend who is white that has used products geared toward African American hair for years, and she swears by it. Good on her!
Do these friends clame the same "cultural appropriation" when someone uses spices or food stuffs and eats dishes from other cultures too.. as it would amount to the same thing using their logic, and if that is the case would they be guilty too as no doubt most if not all of them have eaten dishes from other cultures themselves. Claiming things from other cultures as your own is cultural appropriation, enjoying or getting real use of something from another culture is not. If this lady's friends were as "enlightened" as they think they are they would know this already.
That colleague is wrong, like hell no, wrong. Does that mean everyone but the Japanese, can't eat sashimi? I am seriously not okay with that. In fact, I may start a riot if that come to pass.
Cultural appropriation is inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. Markers of appropriation include presenting elements of a culture in ways that: give a skewed or inaccurate perspective of that culture. reinforce stereotypes. conflict with the intended use of those elements. take credit or compensation from the original creators.
Load More Replies...
I'm white, have thin hair and used to go to a black owned salon to have hair extensions sewn into my hair. I never gave it a second thought because I was going to a business to pay to have a service done. Just don't understand why those ladies thought it was such a big deal and said the girl with the curly hair should not have been going to that salon. We're all just people trying to get by and make a living. Just wish we could all just see it that way.
If the stylists are OK with it, why should anyone be so judgmental. I don't have super curly hair, but I have lots of cowlicks. I finally found a hairdresser that could work with it after trying many other hairdressers. Seems like it's the same thing for OP. Why go back to people who don't understand your hair because coworkers stuck their nose in. Tell 'em to mind their own business. NTA.
I am also a white woman with 3c naturally curly hair. I have had sooooo many bad haircuts. One time, the stylist just kept cutting because she was "waiting for it to not be curly." It was so short I didn't need a haircut for months after that. Any curly girl knows, you go to the stylist who knows your hair and you use products meant for curly, kinky, coily hair. OP's friends are clueless.
if 3/4 of the takeaways in my town could only accept money from their own races theyd go out of business really damn fast
That's like saying all the now-white people who bleach their hair blonde is stealing European culture. dumb dumb. hair is hair.
I'm a blue-grey eyed blonde with a whiter-than-white skin tone and until I was 50 struggled with totally dry Afro-type hair. Then I got up the courage to start going to black salons. Not only to get it 'relaxed' but also to find what products to use on my hair. When/if I go to a new salon I have to tell them to use the maximum strength relaxer, as anything less strong has no effect. About five years ago I discovered a great, funky hairdresser who also does wonderful cuts. i just put myself in her hands and let her do whatever she fancies. I'm never disappointed. But after 20+ years I'd never return to a 'white' salon. Because, in 'my' salon everyone talks to each other and the time flies by. It's a real social occasion and one I look forward to every time.
Cultural appropriation is taking elements of another culture for mockery or harm or where followed use causes intentional or unintentional misuse, such as taking sacred items and using them in an inappropriate way, but is not the case if used appropriately or for appreciation. There has been cultural exchange between humans for as long as we have existed, and this has enriched everyone participating, by sharing knowledge, tradition, food and so on,. Some people seem afraid of ethic sharing, and wants to limit it, by speaking for them and telling the world that their culture is not worthy of inclusion into theirs. This is how cultures are marginalized and die, and how you show the world that you are actually, the racist and an elitist who thinks they are better seated to judge, than anyone else. The people who practice this wokery really need to get their facts straight.
Some of the woke people are the absolute most hate-filled and racist people i have ever met. So, you are saying that appreciating cultural food, listening to cultural music, wearing cultural dress is "appropriation"? you are saying that what other cultures provide, is not good enough for you, or a threat to incorporate in your white "culture"? perhaps you should stop eating that indian or chinese takeaway, stop eating rice (asian) or potatoes (south american) as a few examples, in order to live up to your own non-cultural appropriation rules? Further, this is racist, as you consider people and their cultures to be so fragile that they can not be allowed to speak for themselves, and somehow need your "protection" and you being a "spokesperson" for them, and you say you are not racist or colonialistic here, when you diminish the value of their culture and capabilities? For this reason, and many others, I dislike the "woke" "culture", who also loves to cancel others.
I have 2C/3A hair. I use products made for Black hair. Since I've started using them, my hair is a heck of a lot healthier and less frizzy. The curls have also shrunk, which is a good thing. I have found out healthy moisturized hair shrinks and bounces back when you stretch it out. Unhealthy, dry and damaged hair doesn't shrink or bounce. Good for this woman, and all the curly haired people out there, for embracing the curls and using the products--and people--that know curly hair!!
So let’s cut to the chase here. How do we learn anything about anyone if we don’t get to know the actual living breathing people that we demand make us comfortable. Our way. White America expects the entire world to speak English, serve bacon and our favorite foods while we are a guest in their country. Gay bars to be not so gay or take a group to a female impersonation performer while we make stupid comments about tacky hair and stupid remarks. No one wants to hear some pudgy white nincompoop try to sound black. Be who you are and allow others to be themselves. Share a conversation without fear. Quit looking at anyone different than what you grew up believing not have the same opinion of you. Until we can truly allow the person to be who they are we will never reach a place where have no problem living side by side. The mind was never designed as a one size fits all. The skull protects the brain from physical harm. The real damage comes from not learning who else lives here.
I'll support any business that provides a value to me and has excellent customer service. I don't care what race the owner happens to be.
White girl here with long straight dry hair. I go to a black salon about every 12-18 months for a hot oil treatment. The treatments for very dry hair at the "non-black" oriented salons are not nearly as effective.
I (white woman) have natural curly hair. My daughter has natural spirals. Everyte we go to the hair dresser, they don't allow for curls when cutting and blow dry it straight. Found a Pakistan hairdresser about 2 years ago and they seem to understand all hair. Cut so that it can be worn straight or curly, as recommended by them.
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Did we run out of Pink Oil? Is there a shea butter shortage I didn't hear about? I didn't know we owned the market. Like seriously though, curly life is hard. If she found products, a stylist, and a whole salon that works for her, she is more blessed than the rest of us. Doesn't matter race, creed, or color.
She simply went to salon where they take care of her hair. I don't see any problem with that.
I knew an adopted "half Hawaiian" lady. (I think she was actually multiracial but in her podunk Ohio town this was not acceptable. Her 1st child was darker than my black children). Her hair was brown, thick and curly. She would have been better off going to a black salon. Race is not an issue in this case. Hair texture is.
The reality is that modern hair care is just that, modern. All across the globe there are people of differing skin colors with differing hair types. Which culture is actually being appropriated here? The comments from her coworkers are based on/in nothing more than an attempt to be politically correct.
This post, aside from the lunacy of 'appropriation' and 'don't speak for me' and stuff - it's a bit crazy. But I did learn something about curly hair. Thanks. https://www.allure.com/gallery/curl-hair-type-guide
Why should it matter what color you are? We are the same species. 0.1mm down we are all even the same color (pink). Only the outer layer of skin contains the protective pigment. Anyway, as for culture, we should all embrace everyone's family traditions as we do our own. I love soul food, Mexican, Chinese, French, German, Russian and even Sundanese and Egyptian cuisines. I don't judge and neither should you.
How does tribalism help anything? Or anyone? You see this is how s**t like colonialism starts we all think that we’ve got to keep to ourselves and keep to our own kind it’s freaking ridiculous especially now when we live in a global age. I might not be appropriating your culture, I may be appreciating it let’s get the two straight
People are so stupid!! She found a salon that knows how to not only take care of her thick, curly hair, but teach her how to take care of it herself. It's about the hair, seriously people
Some years ago there was a show that highlighted books, it had a 'weird' font for the title "Happy Hair" or so I thought that was the title. The 'n' looked like an 'h'. So when the reader kept saying nappy hair, did I realize the cover was nappy hair. However, the way the story ran, it could work as happy hair as the author was trying to encourage the little girl to embrace her unique hair.
Lol nope, you need to find some new friends. I have very thin curly hair, so it gets into knots and breaks easily. Luckily I never have to go to a hair salon (my mother, who is in fact white, has all mixed children with around the same type of hair, so she knows how to do both "black" hair and "white" hair), but I've gone a couple of times, and whenever I saw a white man or woman with curly hair go into one that specializes in black hair, I never think twice. It's just fine. Hair is hair, no matter who it belongs to.
The whole concept of "cultural appropriation" has always been so dumb to me, but I guess that's just another American thing. I can understand condemning the mockery of elements specific to a culture, but that's that, mockery, not appropriation. In this particular case though, it has absolutely nothing to do with culture or race
I once went in to a salon that catered to black customers, it was just a couple of blocks from my place and I didn't want to lose my parking space since parking is extremely hard to find. I asked the receptionist if there was a chair available for just a trim, my hair has very subtle waves and and I had layers, she said: "of course! We can help you" she called for the only available stylist and he took me in but right away I saw his change in attitude, he was rude, bothered and put absolutely no effort. I left feeling sad and defeated because I had this naive idea that minorities would be supportive of each other...
I never understood the concept of cultural appropriation, to me it just doesn't make cense. Culture is meant to be shared and admired and respected and welcomed. We live in a world where people from different corners of the Earth can meet, fall in love and have children. Or a person can move from one part of the planet to other. We are not separated by the impossible distance any more and we definitely should not be separated by skin color or hair type.
Sharing culture is one thing, making a stereotype out of a culture or profiting off a culture that isn't yours is another.
Load More Replies...
I feel that arguments about cultural appropriation should be individual vs. community rather than individual vs. individual. Are there any errors in that reasoning? Please let me know. I wouldn't speak for the entire Alaskan Native populace on their behalf, and I also wouldn't fence off other people as a whole, especially if I wasn't part of that community. It's a feel of what's what, maybe. Maybe?
When I went to beauty school in 89-90 we were supposed to go visit another high school that had Black teachers and mostly Black students. We were excited to learn work with ethnic hair because it wasn't part of our normal training. Bad weather canceled the first trip, I honestly don't know why it never happened. But I do know that a tub of cholesterol is amazing and cheap and no one ever told us a certain color skin should use it! Lol
Same situation. My hair is 3A. I found a Black-owned beauty shop near my house. My previous stylist retired from a white-owned salon. I am fortunate to have found a new stylist who knows how to cut and style my hair and recommend products that actually work for me,,
This is beyond ridiculous. If you're white, it's not up to you to decide if something is racist or not. And not to mention that the salon's owner may probably not be really happy that a loyal customer is basically told not to visit anymore.
Not american but to my understanding work collegues encourage segregation?... They avoid hair products same way as their grandparent avoided toilets
No offence, but that’s basically like saying you can’t wear a kimono unless you’re Japanese! It’s not racism, people. It’s more like cultural appreciation! 🤷♀️😅
You do not need to take up space everywhere, some places, like salons and barbershops are absolutely sacred. Your presence there makes everyone else uncomfortable.
My first thought from reading the title alone was: How curly is her hair?
I have a question about this. What if we allowed a privately owned business to practice whatever they want? Let a white owned business refuse service to a black person, let a black person refuse service to a white person. I would think we, as customers, would just stop going to such places. Wouldn't we choose to not frequent their establishment, thus they would have to close their doors or become more tolerant? This would not work for large places such as Walmart as they may be the only game in town and we're stuck going there. I guess I was thinking the power of the people and all that.
You have more faith in humanity than I do. The stores I shop in sell products made by people in abhorrent working conditions. It's not unusual for one brand or another to be accused of using slave labor. People still shop at these stores. There are few other options. That's why regulation is necessary.
Load More Replies...
Americans are so weird about race. I'm not saying that racism doesn't exist elsewhere, my own country clearly has big problems with racism. But Americans are just so WEIRD about it.
Because they're doing nothing to harm anyone! READ the article.
Load More Replies... 
Really? Do you not think racism is still a thing? Why would you stop listening to victims of racism due to some that do not understand the concept? That is NOT helping the problem and makes it all so much worse.
Load More Replies... 
It's a weird segregation they preach. "Only use products invented by, meant for, your cultural/ethnic type".
Load More Replies... If the salon and her hairdresser don't want a white woman's money, they're totally free to ask her to take her business elsewhere. But if they don't, then this is what you call "supporting black-owned businesses".
Uhm.. I'm sorry, I'm not from the US, but here it would be unimaginable and utterly against the law to refuse business based on race. As it should be. Asking someone to take their business elsewhere because they're white just seems morally wrong to me.
Load More Replies... The ladies black best friend showed her the products and took her to the salon. Why the HELL do her white friends think they know better? Why do they think they can speak on behalf of black people?? Also, am I missing something - shouldn't we ALL be supporting black owned businesses where we can? This type of article makes my blood boil but has to be shared.
I am Puerto Rican but the white looking kind. I've been told it's cultural appreciation and inappropriate that I wear my naturally thick curly hair curly. First of all, I'm ethnic, second of all, anyone with curly should embrace their curly hair. It's natural and has not ethnic boundaries and telling someone they should be ashamed of their naturally curly hair is just toxic.
Can I quote you to my one longtime bestie? She is totally anglo in heritage, but her red hair has the supercurly-curly curls that supposedly don't happen to western Europeans. She's been mocked for years, and hates her hair. I think it's gorgeous!
Load More Replies... White woman here. Irish heritage with blonde, very, very curly, fine hair. If someone spills a drink within 50 feet of me, the extra humidity causes uncontrollable frizz. In college, a black girl saw me struggle every morning to try to tame my frizz-mop and introduced me to two things: a leave-in conditioning spray for dry hair and the satin bonnet - both of which are traditionally used by black women. Let me tell you, they changed my life. She also showed me how to use a hot iron at a very low temp so I didn't burn my hair if I wanted to wear it straight. I still (27 years out of college) still use both of them and my hair is much more manageable and healthier. I have never once considered that I may be culturally appropriating anything. I am just taking care of my hair, and if it wasn't for that lady, I would probably still have a terrible time with my hair.
A lot of people's idea of what "Cultural appropriation" is is so off, it's become incredibly ridiculous.
These hair products aren’t only for black people. They’re just mainly used by black people because they’re most commonly the ones with that certain hair type.
In the UK it has just become a legal requirement for hair stylists to train to style all racial hair types. The concept of black hair salons won't even exist for long
Specialists will always exist, and people will always prefer specialists over "we-do-everything" types of shops. It's the same reason I take my car to a specialist mechanic, nobody can be good-at and have excellent experience with everything.
Load More Replies... Yeah, when it's only your white friends calling it cultural appropriation, and the black salon is happy to have your business and do your hair, you know who's right. Plus, there is a lot of hair knowledge that can be shared across cultural lines without it being appropriation. I had a former coworker who was a middle aged black woman who'd been wearing her hair natural for most of her life, and she was a self-professed hair care nerd. She was a fountain of hair care knowledge and turned me on to a number of products and processes that made a huge difference in the health of my white girl mostly straight but frizzy hair. And was happy to do so for anyone at work. Gave advice to some of the curly haired white girls too. She knew what it was like to have hair that required a lot of TLC so she was happy to share what she had learned, and she also knew and understood a lot more about the differences between hair types than any white hair stylist I've ever met.
And this woman wasn't a hair stylist, either! She was just someone who had gotten really into learning about hair care in her quest to find out the best things to do for her own hair. She talked about having to mix product and use some product on parts of her hair but not others, because she had like a 3b curl pattern at the front, a tighter 4a curl at kind of the sides and top, and really tight 4b with even some 4c at the very back of her head! At one point I was telling her something about a hair issue I was having and she told me to do a red palm oil hair mask and how. I came to work after doing it and was just like "FEEL MY HAIR" "Ooh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Do that once a week, it'll really help with that frizz." "EVERY WOMAN NEEDS A YOU." A fairy godmother of hair.
Load More Replies... As a white woman with curly hair I feel for the OP. Unfortunately many stylists don’t know where to even begin with curly hair no matter your skin stone. If it was the stylist or salon owner that had brought up this issue I would be worried, but I think the “friend” is overreacting.
I mean if there was a shortage of products and they had to be rationed... nope even then I still can't see the point. Those products are for a specific hair type, not a specific hair colour. Yes it's a hair type that predominantly occurs in black people, but when a white person has the type of hair those products are designed for then clearly they should be using them. The OP's friends seem like they want to move to 1950s America when you had white only services and 'coloured' only services. They're literally saying that all non-black people should BOYCOTT black owned businesses and then claim we're doing it for their own good. And it's not cultural appropriation. That's when you use things that have particular cultural or religious significance for one group for fashion or just for play or when you are profiting from the culture of others while they are prohibited from doing the same.
She can get her hair done where she likes. Race exclusions stopped years ago; or have they?
Lucky you to find someone who knows how to care properly for your type of hair. I had to learn how to do my own because living in China nobody has been trained how to properly care for western hair, particularly colouring. They will claim to have been trained in Paris or wherever but only on Asian hair.
So this woman’s friends told her she couldn’t do something because of the colour on her skin? Hang on, there’s a term for that……
I think the only persons to ask about the opinion about this are the people in the salon!
By the friend's logic, I shouldn't listen to Jimi Hendrix or Kendrick Lamar, or watch movies with Idris Elba or Denzel Washington, because I'm white. Silly. My primary care physician is a black man; am I culturally appropriating his time away from black patients? Of course not.
It's hair. Her hair needs special products to "work". Salons that have these products and can make this hair "work" are for the people who need it, no matter the skin color or background. Soooo NTA!
As cert965 said it's about different types of hair, and im curious as to why beauty schools (im guessing) dont do a broad spectrum teaching of hair (I realise the extra amount of learning it would take). Then you could have all in one salons or something where it's not 'black salons' and 'salons'
Might be more a matter of exposure and experience than a lack of teaching. Stylists who only cut hair that has certain characteristics will naturally feel out of their element when dealing with other hair types.
Load More Replies... Sure. Let‘s have salons exclusively for black people and salons exclusively for white people. That certainly sounds anti-racist.
Who cares. The barber needs money and you need service so go ahead and exchange. That is how trade works.
Exactly just like when a village needs to get rid of a Grave Hag they hire a Witcher. LMAO.
Load More Replies... Many of these gatekeepers are actually so racist that it's tiresome.
I really can't wrap my head around the stupidity of her white friends. In trying to be woke, her friends instead give off epic "separate but equal" vibes.
She says her hair is “3c, if you know what that means.” Well, her black stylists know exactly what it means, and therefore know exactly how to cut and style her hair, and what products will work best for it. She started going to black salons on the advice of her black friend with similar hair. Her friends are just being dumbasses.
"Performative allyship" is a great phrase to describe what these people do when their being an ally is more about performance than actually being an active ally.
Cultural appropriation means someone's culture is being exploited or used inappropriately. For example, buying a bracelet with a Native American design, when the bracelet is mass produced in China and sold at a major chain retailer at the mall... cultural appropriation. Buying a bracelet with a Native American design, when it was handmade by a Native American artist... not cultural appropriation. Buying a Buddha statue because you are a Buddhist and want to put it in your meditation area... not cultural appropriation. Collecting Buddha statues because you think they're a cool thing to decorate your house with... cultural appropriation. Criticizing a white person for patronizing a black-owned business isn't being "woke," it's just being racist.
Good lord. I (30s white woman) have 3C-4C baby-fine curls, living someplace with hot, humid weather, and I have had to train every stylist I’ve ever gone to on how to deal with my hair. I probably would be going to a salon or stylist who specializes in black hair if I hadn’t finally found a stylist who listened. I love discussing curly hair with different women of color as they are frequently the only ones who understand how to deal with it. I also use products marketed toward black customers, and it’s been awesome. I’ve never heard the “cultural appropriation” line for using the products, but I have met other curlies who are reluctant to try a product because of marketing.
Was a single one of the people complaining actually black? If not I wouldn’t worry about it. Give them your business.
This is crazy to me- the friends are suggesting you should take your business elsewhere? Because I'm certain the shop you're being styled at is happy to have you as a client. And you are supporting a black owned business. These friends have a skewed view on things IMO
I am of the mind that if you TRULY support black people, black women, black men, black businesses, you'll do so with your MONEY. But a lot of us white folks go so freaking hard trying to be sure we are not being seen as racist, that we take up mantles that the community is not concerned with. There are a lot of well-meaning white folks getting it wrong right now. And I have absolutely been one in the past and will likely be in the future. The trick is to take criticism, be teachable, and instead of being dramatic, pull up your bootstraps and try to do the next right thing. Don't make it about you.
People are so stupid that they don't understand how economics work. More customers = more revenue for black businesses = growth of Black businesses. I once heard someone say that it's cultural appropriation for non-black ppl to listen to Beyoncé's songs, Formation and Brown-Skin Girl. Like, they literally want to reduce the sales of those tracks in the name of "fighting racism".
It's always white people saying something is racist or cultural appropriation. Don't even bother listening to them. The only person that has any right to say something about it, is the owner of the shop, because he can refuse your business. And he won't. Because black people don't care that you use hair products and a salon catered to black people's hair. If it works, it works. You using it, doesn't mean they can't, so who cares? You have silly woke leftist 'friends' and need to find some new ones.
Woke people are comatose. This mindset is so bad. Always putting people in boxes... If you are a certain pigment you are only allowed to do certain things... So racists and closed minded. And they think they are soooo tolerant. Scary.
That other white woman literally said only black people are only allowed to used black people things, going against everything MLK said. This is the problem I see with the left and liberals. I also see that Republicans/the right are also not perfect, but I tend to side with them more because of the amount of times I've seen this segregation and internal strife within the left
If the salon has no problem, neither should you. If people would loosen up and act like race is not a big deal, then it would not be a big deal.
honey if we are going by "only people who share the race of the inventor can use the invention" then only Asians can use stem cell transplants, paper ( not papyrus), gunpowder, compasses, bells, coffins, lacquer, rice, acupuncture and banknotes to name a few Asian inventions. Some of which ARE EXTREMELY USEFUL AND CAN SAVE LIVES
Ugh. Yeah, people really don't understand what cultural appropriation is. Basically, if you're stealing something cultural and using it arbitrarily. Cultural! For instance, wearing traditional garb as a costume or as just every-day wear without any regard for the culture it came from. Not appropriation: wearing that traditional garb respectfully and with acknowledgement to an event related to that culture in which the garb would be appropriate. Supporting a business run by people of a different race is not appropriation, especially if it's something like this. This is just silly.
If you are paying a Black-owned shop for services and Black-owned hair products, that's not appropriation. Now, if that same white woman decided to start a shop of her own, using the techniques she learned from the Black shops, and made her own products that were similar to the Black-owned products, that would be appropriation.
Her friends are idiots. I don't care what color your skin (or hair) is, when you find a good stylist, you stay there! How is it inappropriate when the stylist and the salon are getting paid for their services? I have a friend who is white that has used products geared toward African American hair for years, and she swears by it. Good on her!
Do these friends clame the same "cultural appropriation" when someone uses spices or food stuffs and eats dishes from other cultures too.. as it would amount to the same thing using their logic, and if that is the case would they be guilty too as no doubt most if not all of them have eaten dishes from other cultures themselves. Claiming things from other cultures as your own is cultural appropriation, enjoying or getting real use of something from another culture is not. If this lady's friends were as "enlightened" as they think they are they would know this already.
That colleague is wrong, like hell no, wrong. Does that mean everyone but the Japanese, can't eat sashimi? I am seriously not okay with that. In fact, I may start a riot if that come to pass.
Cultural appropriation is inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. Markers of appropriation include presenting elements of a culture in ways that: give a skewed or inaccurate perspective of that culture. reinforce stereotypes. conflict with the intended use of those elements. take credit or compensation from the original creators.
Load More Replies... I'm white, have thin hair and used to go to a black owned salon to have hair extensions sewn into my hair. I never gave it a second thought because I was going to a business to pay to have a service done. Just don't understand why those ladies thought it was such a big deal and said the girl with the curly hair should not have been going to that salon. We're all just people trying to get by and make a living. Just wish we could all just see it that way.
If the stylists are OK with it, why should anyone be so judgmental. I don't have super curly hair, but I have lots of cowlicks. I finally found a hairdresser that could work with it after trying many other hairdressers. Seems like it's the same thing for OP. Why go back to people who don't understand your hair because coworkers stuck their nose in. Tell 'em to mind their own business. NTA.
I am also a white woman with 3c naturally curly hair. I have had sooooo many bad haircuts. One time, the stylist just kept cutting because she was "waiting for it to not be curly." It was so short I didn't need a haircut for months after that. Any curly girl knows, you go to the stylist who knows your hair and you use products meant for curly, kinky, coily hair. OP's friends are clueless.
if 3/4 of the takeaways in my town could only accept money from their own races theyd go out of business really damn fast
That's like saying all the now-white people who bleach their hair blonde is stealing European culture. dumb dumb. hair is hair.
I'm a blue-grey eyed blonde with a whiter-than-white skin tone and until I was 50 struggled with totally dry Afro-type hair. Then I got up the courage to start going to black salons. Not only to get it 'relaxed' but also to find what products to use on my hair. When/if I go to a new salon I have to tell them to use the maximum strength relaxer, as anything less strong has no effect. About five years ago I discovered a great, funky hairdresser who also does wonderful cuts. i just put myself in her hands and let her do whatever she fancies. I'm never disappointed. But after 20+ years I'd never return to a 'white' salon. Because, in 'my' salon everyone talks to each other and the time flies by. It's a real social occasion and one I look forward to every time.
Cultural appropriation is taking elements of another culture for mockery or harm or where followed use causes intentional or unintentional misuse, such as taking sacred items and using them in an inappropriate way, but is not the case if used appropriately or for appreciation. There has been cultural exchange between humans for as long as we have existed, and this has enriched everyone participating, by sharing knowledge, tradition, food and so on,. Some people seem afraid of ethic sharing, and wants to limit it, by speaking for them and telling the world that their culture is not worthy of inclusion into theirs. This is how cultures are marginalized and die, and how you show the world that you are actually, the racist and an elitist who thinks they are better seated to judge, than anyone else. The people who practice this wokery really need to get their facts straight.
Some of the woke people are the absolute most hate-filled and racist people i have ever met. So, you are saying that appreciating cultural food, listening to cultural music, wearing cultural dress is "appropriation"? you are saying that what other cultures provide, is not good enough for you, or a threat to incorporate in your white "culture"? perhaps you should stop eating that indian or chinese takeaway, stop eating rice (asian) or potatoes (south american) as a few examples, in order to live up to your own non-cultural appropriation rules? Further, this is racist, as you consider people and their cultures to be so fragile that they can not be allowed to speak for themselves, and somehow need your "protection" and you being a "spokesperson" for them, and you say you are not racist or colonialistic here, when you diminish the value of their culture and capabilities? For this reason, and many others, I dislike the "woke" "culture", who also loves to cancel others.
I have 2C/3A hair. I use products made for Black hair. Since I've started using them, my hair is a heck of a lot healthier and less frizzy. The curls have also shrunk, which is a good thing. I have found out healthy moisturized hair shrinks and bounces back when you stretch it out. Unhealthy, dry and damaged hair doesn't shrink or bounce. Good for this woman, and all the curly haired people out there, for embracing the curls and using the products--and people--that know curly hair!!
So let’s cut to the chase here. How do we learn anything about anyone if we don’t get to know the actual living breathing people that we demand make us comfortable. Our way. White America expects the entire world to speak English, serve bacon and our favorite foods while we are a guest in their country. Gay bars to be not so gay or take a group to a female impersonation performer while we make stupid comments about tacky hair and stupid remarks. No one wants to hear some pudgy white nincompoop try to sound black. Be who you are and allow others to be themselves. Share a conversation without fear. Quit looking at anyone different than what you grew up believing not have the same opinion of you. Until we can truly allow the person to be who they are we will never reach a place where have no problem living side by side. The mind was never designed as a one size fits all. The skull protects the brain from physical harm. The real damage comes from not learning who else lives here.
I'll support any business that provides a value to me and has excellent customer service. I don't care what race the owner happens to be.
White girl here with long straight dry hair. I go to a black salon about every 12-18 months for a hot oil treatment. The treatments for very dry hair at the "non-black" oriented salons are not nearly as effective.
I (white woman) have natural curly hair. My daughter has natural spirals. Everyte we go to the hair dresser, they don't allow for curls when cutting and blow dry it straight. Found a Pakistan hairdresser about 2 years ago and they seem to understand all hair. Cut so that it can be worn straight or curly, as recommended by them.
That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Did we run out of Pink Oil? Is there a shea butter shortage I didn't hear about? I didn't know we owned the market. Like seriously though, curly life is hard. If she found products, a stylist, and a whole salon that works for her, she is more blessed than the rest of us. Doesn't matter race, creed, or color.
She simply went to salon where they take care of her hair. I don't see any problem with that.
I knew an adopted "half Hawaiian" lady. (I think she was actually multiracial but in her podunk Ohio town this was not acceptable. Her 1st child was darker than my black children). Her hair was brown, thick and curly. She would have been better off going to a black salon. Race is not an issue in this case. Hair texture is.
The reality is that modern hair care is just that, modern. All across the globe there are people of differing skin colors with differing hair types. Which culture is actually being appropriated here? The comments from her coworkers are based on/in nothing more than an attempt to be politically correct.
This post, aside from the lunacy of 'appropriation' and 'don't speak for me' and stuff - it's a bit crazy. But I did learn something about curly hair. Thanks. https://www.allure.com/gallery/curl-hair-type-guide
Why should it matter what color you are? We are the same species. 0.1mm down we are all even the same color (pink). Only the outer layer of skin contains the protective pigment. Anyway, as for culture, we should all embrace everyone's family traditions as we do our own. I love soul food, Mexican, Chinese, French, German, Russian and even Sundanese and Egyptian cuisines. I don't judge and neither should you.
How does tribalism help anything? Or anyone? You see this is how s**t like colonialism starts we all think that we’ve got to keep to ourselves and keep to our own kind it’s freaking ridiculous especially now when we live in a global age. I might not be appropriating your culture, I may be appreciating it let’s get the two straight
People are so stupid!! She found a salon that knows how to not only take care of her thick, curly hair, but teach her how to take care of it herself. It's about the hair, seriously people
Some years ago there was a show that highlighted books, it had a 'weird' font for the title "Happy Hair" or so I thought that was the title. The 'n' looked like an 'h'. So when the reader kept saying nappy hair, did I realize the cover was nappy hair. However, the way the story ran, it could work as happy hair as the author was trying to encourage the little girl to embrace her unique hair.
Lol nope, you need to find some new friends. I have very thin curly hair, so it gets into knots and breaks easily. Luckily I never have to go to a hair salon (my mother, who is in fact white, has all mixed children with around the same type of hair, so she knows how to do both "black" hair and "white" hair), but I've gone a couple of times, and whenever I saw a white man or woman with curly hair go into one that specializes in black hair, I never think twice. It's just fine. Hair is hair, no matter who it belongs to.
The whole concept of "cultural appropriation" has always been so dumb to me, but I guess that's just another American thing. I can understand condemning the mockery of elements specific to a culture, but that's that, mockery, not appropriation. In this particular case though, it has absolutely nothing to do with culture or race
I once went in to a salon that catered to black customers, it was just a couple of blocks from my place and I didn't want to lose my parking space since parking is extremely hard to find. I asked the receptionist if there was a chair available for just a trim, my hair has very subtle waves and and I had layers, she said: "of course! We can help you" she called for the only available stylist and he took me in but right away I saw his change in attitude, he was rude, bothered and put absolutely no effort. I left feeling sad and defeated because I had this naive idea that minorities would be supportive of each other...
I never understood the concept of cultural appropriation, to me it just doesn't make cense. Culture is meant to be shared and admired and respected and welcomed. We live in a world where people from different corners of the Earth can meet, fall in love and have children. Or a person can move from one part of the planet to other. We are not separated by the impossible distance any more and we definitely should not be separated by skin color or hair type.
Sharing culture is one thing, making a stereotype out of a culture or profiting off a culture that isn't yours is another.
Load More Replies... I feel that arguments about cultural appropriation should be individual vs. community rather than individual vs. individual. Are there any errors in that reasoning? Please let me know. I wouldn't speak for the entire Alaskan Native populace on their behalf, and I also wouldn't fence off other people as a whole, especially if I wasn't part of that community. It's a feel of what's what, maybe. Maybe?
When I went to beauty school in 89-90 we were supposed to go visit another high school that had Black teachers and mostly Black students. We were excited to learn work with ethnic hair because it wasn't part of our normal training. Bad weather canceled the first trip, I honestly don't know why it never happened. But I do know that a tub of cholesterol is amazing and cheap and no one ever told us a certain color skin should use it! Lol
Same situation. My hair is 3A. I found a Black-owned beauty shop near my house. My previous stylist retired from a white-owned salon. I am fortunate to have found a new stylist who knows how to cut and style my hair and recommend products that actually work for me,,
This is beyond ridiculous. If you're white, it's not up to you to decide if something is racist or not. And not to mention that the salon's owner may probably not be really happy that a loyal customer is basically told not to visit anymore.
Not american but to my understanding work collegues encourage segregation?... They avoid hair products same way as their grandparent avoided toilets
No offence, but that’s basically like saying you can’t wear a kimono unless you’re Japanese! It’s not racism, people. It’s more like cultural appreciation! 🤷♀️😅
You do not need to take up space everywhere, some places, like salons and barbershops are absolutely sacred. Your presence there makes everyone else uncomfortable.
My first thought from reading the title alone was: How curly is her hair?
I have a question about this. What if we allowed a privately owned business to practice whatever they want? Let a white owned business refuse service to a black person, let a black person refuse service to a white person. I would think we, as customers, would just stop going to such places. Wouldn't we choose to not frequent their establishment, thus they would have to close their doors or become more tolerant? This would not work for large places such as Walmart as they may be the only game in town and we're stuck going there. I guess I was thinking the power of the people and all that.
You have more faith in humanity than I do. The stores I shop in sell products made by people in abhorrent working conditions. It's not unusual for one brand or another to be accused of using slave labor. People still shop at these stores. There are few other options. That's why regulation is necessary.
Load More Replies... Americans are so weird about race. I'm not saying that racism doesn't exist elsewhere, my own country clearly has big problems with racism. But Americans are just so WEIRD about it.
Because they're doing nothing to harm anyone! READ the article.
Load More Replies... Really? Do you not think racism is still a thing? Why would you stop listening to victims of racism due to some that do not understand the concept? That is NOT helping the problem and makes it all so much worse.
Load More Replies... 
227
184