Victims Who Were Told That Their Clothing Got Them Sexually Assaulted Display What They Were Wearing
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Each time the victim of sexual violence gets asked what they were wearing, it heartlessly implies that he or she was responsible for the assault and could have prevented it. Rape victim blaming drives responsibility away from a perpetrator and puts it on the victim’s shoulders. To fight against the myth that sexual assault could be prevented by the victim alone, an art exhibition displaying what victims wore during the assault was created.
More info: sapec.ku.edu | twitter.com
The idea to create such exhibition was born after Dr. Wyandt-Hiebert and Ms. Brockman, sexual violence and domestic violence survivor advocates, attended a conference and read a poem “What I Was Wearing” by Dr. Mary Simmerling’s, for the first time. They were touched by it and decided to create the poem’s visual representation. The advocates came up with survivors art installation called “What Were You Wearing?”. The first installation was held at the University of Arkansas in 2014. Students of the university participated by sharing brief descriptions of what they were wearing when they were sexually assaulted. The intent of the installation was to show people that changing one’s clothes will not stop sexual abuse.
The idea of this installation caught on. Since it was first displayed 5 years ago, “What were you wearing” traveled from one university campus to another. It has also inspired other similar installations and prompted a conversation about the problem of victim-blaming. Scroll below to see some of the exhibits from this stark social issue installation.
“What Were You Wearing? is an installation created to educate people that clothing doesn’t cause sexual assault
“A sundress. Months later, my mother would stand in front of my closet and complain about how I never wore any of my dresses anymore. I was six years old.”
“Army ACU’s and I was carrying a gun. So much for that preventing anything”
“Khakis and a dress shirt. I had to give a presentation that day in my communications class. They took my clothes at the hospital during my rape exam. I’m not sure what happened to them.”
“A swimsuit. We had been canoeing at the river all day. It had been a really fun time. Then they came into my tent when I was trying to change clothes.”
“My favorite yellow shirt, but I don’t remember what pants I was wearing. I remember being so confused and just wanting to leave my brother’s room and go back to watching my cartoons.”
“T-shirt and jeans. It happened three times, by three different people in my life. Each time I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans.”
“I missed a couple of days of work after it happened. When I told my boss, she asked me this question. I said, ‘A t-shirt and jeans, what do you wear to a basketball game?’ I walked out and never came back.”
“(1) Jeans and a t-shirt at 18-years old. (2) Children’s dress by my cousin’s father at 5 years old. (3) Dress – I thought I was safe with a woman but woke up to her raping me, too.”
“A university t-shirt and cargos. It’s funny; no one has ever asked me that before. They ask if me being raped means I’m gay or if I fought back or how I could ‘let this happen to me,’ but never about my clothes.”
“I was wearing khaki shorts and a cotton tank top. He convinced me to come back to his house with him after a lame date. I was told by a friend to keep the clothes. I was wearing in case I decided to report it. They are still in a bag hidden in my closet.”
“The first time I was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. The next time, years later, I was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. I wear blue sometimes when I kickbox or when I need to be assertive. Even today I am wearing blue because they don’t get to take my voice, my favorite color, or my ability to say no and mean it. These are mine.”
“I was wearing jean shorts and a tank top. He wouldn’t let me out of his car until he finished. As soon as I got home, I threw that shirt in the trash.”
“My prom dress. Don’t know if that needs much more explanation…”
“White t-shirt and black basketball shorts. It was always the same outfit. It was always after rec center league. I trusted him. My mom trusted him.”
“Jean shirt, jeans, and Toms. Everyone seems so confused when I tell them this. Like they can’t understand what I am saying. They can’t understand what I was wearing. It’s almost funny. Almost.”
“I was wearing a sari. The same thing I wear most days. It was what I was comfortable in. It reminded me of home, of my family, of my identity. Now it reminds me of him.”
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The six-year-old in a sun dress made me ill.
Yeah, I know what you mean :( And the five year old as well.
I was six, too. It happened SO OFTEN by that "trusted" neighbor, that I don't even REMEMBER the clothing. I just remember my father's face, when I told him. When he punched me for "lying" and "trying to ruin that man's reputation". I could never understand that part. That response. I was just a CHILD. And, then years later, found out that he had been "inappropriately touching" his nieces and sister. I guess that explains everything.
I'm so sorry. I hope you know that you did nothing wrong. I'm sorry your dad responded so wrongly and horribly.
You are seen and you are brave.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I was the daughter of a "trusted neighbour". But when he tried it with the kid next door, her father threatened to kill him if he ever touched her again. That is how a father is supposed to react.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's horrible your father hit you and didn't believe you. I hope you're doing better now. Stay strong
I'm sorry that happened, I'm angry at your dad's reaction more than anything for some reason though.... I hope they are both in hell
I would've been angry with my father if I were you! I can't imagine anyone imagining a child is capable of making such a thing up. That's insane!
Lisa C., so sorry that you had to endure that, so glad you came out the other side, hope your life is whole dear. May I ask - that last "found out that he had been" was that the neighbor or your dad?
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Sorry I'm with LEN on this one. Sounds like bullshit. These are the worst types of people. They make up stories so they will be heard or liked. Not saying all stories are but lets check the facts, (the father punching a SIX year old) (father doesn't listen) (Where is mother in all this) (School would have seen marks on child's face and called social services). (Father doesn't ask any questions to the neighbor). OK I'm saying sounds like bullshit. It might be true which is horrible but a lot of holes in the story. Sorry that happened Lisa and i know you were six but that type of trauma stays with you and you remember everything. Oh and report him and your father right now. Let me know how it goes.
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Your story sounds like bull shit
Who the fork asks a LITTLE GIRL what she was wearing when she was raped? As if a six year old was some kind of temptress?!
Why would you ask anyone what they were wearing when they got raped?
I can't reply to the person below you so I'm sorry but I suppose they ask what they were wearing to show that your clothing does not matter. If people are sick enough to rape and assault you they would do it regardless of what you look like or what you are wearing. I think its a way to show that anyone can get raped and your aren't asking for it when you wear a certain thing. To me its a way to show that you can't blame the victim (male or female, I put that there just to make sure that I don't annoy anyone)
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They asked an ADULT what she was wearing when she was raped. She told her story and by the sounds of it, she never reported.
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@ Soof - I will tell you why, I don't go out dressed like a cop and when someone comes up to me and says they need help, I cant say "oh because i dress this way you think I'm a cop". RAPE is bad by all means, but your getting the most attention if you dress like a Skank when you go out. Also men and women are not equal when it comes to strength. Don't wanna get raped, take some men with you next time as friends. Sorry but its that simple.
Why the actual fuck would some asshole rape a six year old?! This is why I have lost faith in humanity. Also, why would anyone ask a rape victim what they were wearing at the time, why do people try and shift the blame on the victim?! What has happened to the world?
If I ever hear someone blame a victim for the rape, to be honest, I would smack the victim blamer across the face.
I wonder if they ask because they hope to hear the victim was provocatively dressed in some way and that they can therefore protect themselves from such things simply by not dressing that way. They are kidding themselves, but I think it could be a self-preservation reaction - a wrong and thoughtless one nonetheless.
I think it's instinctive, Clockwork. They shift the blame to the victim so that they don't look as though they are in a team with the victim(therefore appearing as "weak" as them). It's something many birds do, for instance. They peck at the wounded bird instead of sticking with it, so that other birds don't begin pecking at them too. In humans' case, the defender may be mocked upon by his/her "friends" for taking the side of the "wimp/gay/(insert anything brainless, simple-minded human beings use as an insult). There's one big difference between us and social animals though: animals only have their instincts and group to help them survive and we've got a very complex mind as a bonus, plus the chance to abandon our stupid "friends" for more sensible ones. However, most humans find using that interesting thing between their ears a lot harder than simply strutting about and shouting insults. As you can see, in general our species is just composed of dumb useless creatures.
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No one is trying to shift blame clockwork unless their complete garbage people. You have to piece stories together and get all the facts and evidence. Go ahead and look up the numbers of incarcerated men/women for false rape claims. Just saying he or she did something to me and you wont work again for at least a month. Then you can pay bills then you have to pay a lawyer. It sucks.
They all made me ill, but that one especially :(
Yes,I feel really sick now :(
same,. i feel so horrid inside after seeing i am fighting back tears. I think of my beautiful little girl, I would kill the person that even thought about touching my daughter like that!
She is also the reason why so many children do not tell of the abuse. I was 44 when I finally told.
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Lol I think it's funny. I hope she grows up all traumatized and depressed.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Deliberately saying what you think are shocking things is not funny or clever. It is just boring.
This is really deep and heartbreaking. What an asinine question to ask someone after going through a nightmare.
Clarification - I didn't mean the exhibit! I mean real people who ask the victims this question.
well in a psychological way I know some serial killers picked out victims by clothing..... maybe some serial rapists do as well, it's a valid question to know in a detectives perspective to be able to link rapist, plus the police will ask or atleast better anyway, so they get the clothes and test them but I'm also a cop so I kinda look at this from a different perspective, I'd never ask as in a way to shame or lay blame
Traditionally this question hasn’t been asked for science. It was used to shame the victim and ignore or justify the crime. There are countless court transcripts to back this up.
It seems that these rape victims didn't go to the police because of stuff like this...
or he ... i think it can be therapeutic in some way.. showing them that it wasn't their fault is important.. you're not wrong though.. you don't just ask them.. it has to be in a safe setting because it can trigger too much
What you wear has never anything to do with rape and thus it's not a relevant question to ask. It's like asking what you watched on TV earlier that day, it's completely irrelevant
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I don't think their trying to blame people unless their complete garbage. You have to piece stories together and get all the facts and evidence. look up the numbers of incarcerated men/women for false rape claims. Just saying he or she did something to me and you wont work again for at least a month. Then you cant pay bills then you have to pay a lawyer. It sucks. Destroys lifes in an instant.
Sounds like you're speaking from experience.
You should never, ever ask a sexual abuse victim what they were wearing. It is extremely hurtful and it's not relevant: even if someone was wearing a supersexy dress or bikini or whatever, she still has the right to choose whether she does or doesn't want to have sex.
That is the whole point of the exibition. To show that which clothes you wore have nothing to do with the experience.To shift blame from victims to rapists
But that's been the response for hundreds of years. That somehow, its all the woman's fault for what has happened, that its what she was wearing, or where she was or what she was doing or saying... that its NOT the rapist's "fault", he was led astray. The exhibit is trying to point that out. That its WRONG. And it is. I was a six year old CHILD when it started. I had NO IDEA what sex was or anything.
My heart breaks for you. I hope you find a way through the pain. It shouldn’t happen to anyone! Thank you for being brave enough to talk about it
You're right, it implies blame, collusion, false allegation etc. A victim's clothing should never be taken into consideration. The only thing what causes any rape is the rapist.
or he ... i think it can be therapeutic in some way.. showing them that it wasn't their fault is important.. you're not wrong though.. you don't just ask them.. it has to be in a safe setting because it can trigger too much
and That is what the exhibit is trying to show! victims always get the told they could have prevented it by not dressing sexy for example
What someone was wearing isn’t relevant. There is no reason to ask that.
It wouldn't hurt me or make me feel any negative way if that question was asked. Also it's just to show that you don't have to be wearing anything provocative or sexy to get raped.
well in a psychological way I know some serial killers picked out victims by clothing..... maybe some serial rapists do as well, it's a valid question to know in a detectives perspective to be able to link rapist, plus the police will ask or atleast better anyway, so they get the clothes and test them but I'm also a cop so I kinda look at this from a different perspective, I'd never ask as in a way to shame or lay blame
Of course questions like these are different. If the cops are looking for a rapist who rapes people wearing a red dress, then they might ask "Were you wearing a red dress?" and if they want the clothes to be dna tested, then they'll say "We'd like you to submit the clothes you were wearing for testing", but flat out asking what the victim was wearing shifts the blame to the victim and all cops should know not to do that
Yeah, cos most rape victims got raped by serial rapist with a fixation, just like most murder victims get murdered by serial killers...
Elfmonkey what
Elfmonkey yes
Elfmonkey yes
Exactly. Even if the person was going around naked, it still doesn't mean they were "asking for it", and it's certainly not consent to sex.
Your right, cops should never ask that because they don't really need the clothes to process for pesky things like evidence. And NO WAY they should EVER ask that in court to show that the clothing was worn at the time to be admitted into evidence for prosecution.....
.
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What you wear should be irrelevant, but at the same time wearing provoking clothing that suggests a sexual nature and its aim is to look sexy and attract attention does put you at risk. It would be like a dear with a bullseye mark walking around the forest in hunting season claiming that it's unfair they got shot. Yes you should be able to wear what you want BUT sometimes it is about taking ownership to try and avoid it happening again. Kids being raped is different. Kids rarely dress themselves but parents should be careful in letting their kids go out in skimpy revealing clothes. It may seem like I'm passing the blame onto the victims - im not... im merely acknowledging that there are perverts and creeps out there that do rape and chose their victims on how they look - so why run the risk and make yourself an easy target. Granted, in some cases it was about being in the wrong place at the wrong time or just being randomly chosen.
Most parents think better of their male friends and relatives than that. Nobody expects their kid to be raped until it happens.
The six-year-old in a sun dress made me ill.
Yeah, I know what you mean :( And the five year old as well.
I was six, too. It happened SO OFTEN by that "trusted" neighbor, that I don't even REMEMBER the clothing. I just remember my father's face, when I told him. When he punched me for "lying" and "trying to ruin that man's reputation". I could never understand that part. That response. I was just a CHILD. And, then years later, found out that he had been "inappropriately touching" his nieces and sister. I guess that explains everything.
I'm so sorry. I hope you know that you did nothing wrong. I'm sorry your dad responded so wrongly and horribly.
You are seen and you are brave.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I was the daughter of a "trusted neighbour". But when he tried it with the kid next door, her father threatened to kill him if he ever touched her again. That is how a father is supposed to react.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's horrible your father hit you and didn't believe you. I hope you're doing better now. Stay strong
I'm sorry that happened, I'm angry at your dad's reaction more than anything for some reason though.... I hope they are both in hell
I would've been angry with my father if I were you! I can't imagine anyone imagining a child is capable of making such a thing up. That's insane!
Lisa C., so sorry that you had to endure that, so glad you came out the other side, hope your life is whole dear. May I ask - that last "found out that he had been" was that the neighbor or your dad?
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Sorry I'm with LEN on this one. Sounds like bullshit. These are the worst types of people. They make up stories so they will be heard or liked. Not saying all stories are but lets check the facts, (the father punching a SIX year old) (father doesn't listen) (Where is mother in all this) (School would have seen marks on child's face and called social services). (Father doesn't ask any questions to the neighbor). OK I'm saying sounds like bullshit. It might be true which is horrible but a lot of holes in the story. Sorry that happened Lisa and i know you were six but that type of trauma stays with you and you remember everything. Oh and report him and your father right now. Let me know how it goes.
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Your story sounds like bull shit
Who the fork asks a LITTLE GIRL what she was wearing when she was raped? As if a six year old was some kind of temptress?!
Why would you ask anyone what they were wearing when they got raped?
I can't reply to the person below you so I'm sorry but I suppose they ask what they were wearing to show that your clothing does not matter. If people are sick enough to rape and assault you they would do it regardless of what you look like or what you are wearing. I think its a way to show that anyone can get raped and your aren't asking for it when you wear a certain thing. To me its a way to show that you can't blame the victim (male or female, I put that there just to make sure that I don't annoy anyone)
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
They asked an ADULT what she was wearing when she was raped. She told her story and by the sounds of it, she never reported.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
@ Soof - I will tell you why, I don't go out dressed like a cop and when someone comes up to me and says they need help, I cant say "oh because i dress this way you think I'm a cop". RAPE is bad by all means, but your getting the most attention if you dress like a Skank when you go out. Also men and women are not equal when it comes to strength. Don't wanna get raped, take some men with you next time as friends. Sorry but its that simple.
Why the actual fuck would some asshole rape a six year old?! This is why I have lost faith in humanity. Also, why would anyone ask a rape victim what they were wearing at the time, why do people try and shift the blame on the victim?! What has happened to the world?
If I ever hear someone blame a victim for the rape, to be honest, I would smack the victim blamer across the face.
I wonder if they ask because they hope to hear the victim was provocatively dressed in some way and that they can therefore protect themselves from such things simply by not dressing that way. They are kidding themselves, but I think it could be a self-preservation reaction - a wrong and thoughtless one nonetheless.
I think it's instinctive, Clockwork. They shift the blame to the victim so that they don't look as though they are in a team with the victim(therefore appearing as "weak" as them). It's something many birds do, for instance. They peck at the wounded bird instead of sticking with it, so that other birds don't begin pecking at them too. In humans' case, the defender may be mocked upon by his/her "friends" for taking the side of the "wimp/gay/(insert anything brainless, simple-minded human beings use as an insult). There's one big difference between us and social animals though: animals only have their instincts and group to help them survive and we've got a very complex mind as a bonus, plus the chance to abandon our stupid "friends" for more sensible ones. However, most humans find using that interesting thing between their ears a lot harder than simply strutting about and shouting insults. As you can see, in general our species is just composed of dumb useless creatures.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
No one is trying to shift blame clockwork unless their complete garbage people. You have to piece stories together and get all the facts and evidence. Go ahead and look up the numbers of incarcerated men/women for false rape claims. Just saying he or she did something to me and you wont work again for at least a month. Then you can pay bills then you have to pay a lawyer. It sucks.
They all made me ill, but that one especially :(
Yes,I feel really sick now :(
same,. i feel so horrid inside after seeing i am fighting back tears. I think of my beautiful little girl, I would kill the person that even thought about touching my daughter like that!
She is also the reason why so many children do not tell of the abuse. I was 44 when I finally told.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Lol I think it's funny. I hope she grows up all traumatized and depressed.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Deliberately saying what you think are shocking things is not funny or clever. It is just boring.
This is really deep and heartbreaking. What an asinine question to ask someone after going through a nightmare.
Clarification - I didn't mean the exhibit! I mean real people who ask the victims this question.
well in a psychological way I know some serial killers picked out victims by clothing..... maybe some serial rapists do as well, it's a valid question to know in a detectives perspective to be able to link rapist, plus the police will ask or atleast better anyway, so they get the clothes and test them but I'm also a cop so I kinda look at this from a different perspective, I'd never ask as in a way to shame or lay blame
Traditionally this question hasn’t been asked for science. It was used to shame the victim and ignore or justify the crime. There are countless court transcripts to back this up.
It seems that these rape victims didn't go to the police because of stuff like this...
or he ... i think it can be therapeutic in some way.. showing them that it wasn't their fault is important.. you're not wrong though.. you don't just ask them.. it has to be in a safe setting because it can trigger too much
What you wear has never anything to do with rape and thus it's not a relevant question to ask. It's like asking what you watched on TV earlier that day, it's completely irrelevant
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I don't think their trying to blame people unless their complete garbage. You have to piece stories together and get all the facts and evidence. look up the numbers of incarcerated men/women for false rape claims. Just saying he or she did something to me and you wont work again for at least a month. Then you cant pay bills then you have to pay a lawyer. It sucks. Destroys lifes in an instant.
Sounds like you're speaking from experience.
You should never, ever ask a sexual abuse victim what they were wearing. It is extremely hurtful and it's not relevant: even if someone was wearing a supersexy dress or bikini or whatever, she still has the right to choose whether she does or doesn't want to have sex.
That is the whole point of the exibition. To show that which clothes you wore have nothing to do with the experience.To shift blame from victims to rapists
But that's been the response for hundreds of years. That somehow, its all the woman's fault for what has happened, that its what she was wearing, or where she was or what she was doing or saying... that its NOT the rapist's "fault", he was led astray. The exhibit is trying to point that out. That its WRONG. And it is. I was a six year old CHILD when it started. I had NO IDEA what sex was or anything.
My heart breaks for you. I hope you find a way through the pain. It shouldn’t happen to anyone! Thank you for being brave enough to talk about it
You're right, it implies blame, collusion, false allegation etc. A victim's clothing should never be taken into consideration. The only thing what causes any rape is the rapist.
or he ... i think it can be therapeutic in some way.. showing them that it wasn't their fault is important.. you're not wrong though.. you don't just ask them.. it has to be in a safe setting because it can trigger too much
and That is what the exhibit is trying to show! victims always get the told they could have prevented it by not dressing sexy for example
What someone was wearing isn’t relevant. There is no reason to ask that.
It wouldn't hurt me or make me feel any negative way if that question was asked. Also it's just to show that you don't have to be wearing anything provocative or sexy to get raped.
well in a psychological way I know some serial killers picked out victims by clothing..... maybe some serial rapists do as well, it's a valid question to know in a detectives perspective to be able to link rapist, plus the police will ask or atleast better anyway, so they get the clothes and test them but I'm also a cop so I kinda look at this from a different perspective, I'd never ask as in a way to shame or lay blame
Of course questions like these are different. If the cops are looking for a rapist who rapes people wearing a red dress, then they might ask "Were you wearing a red dress?" and if they want the clothes to be dna tested, then they'll say "We'd like you to submit the clothes you were wearing for testing", but flat out asking what the victim was wearing shifts the blame to the victim and all cops should know not to do that
Yeah, cos most rape victims got raped by serial rapist with a fixation, just like most murder victims get murdered by serial killers...
Elfmonkey what
Elfmonkey yes
Elfmonkey yes
Exactly. Even if the person was going around naked, it still doesn't mean they were "asking for it", and it's certainly not consent to sex.
Your right, cops should never ask that because they don't really need the clothes to process for pesky things like evidence. And NO WAY they should EVER ask that in court to show that the clothing was worn at the time to be admitted into evidence for prosecution.....
.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What you wear should be irrelevant, but at the same time wearing provoking clothing that suggests a sexual nature and its aim is to look sexy and attract attention does put you at risk. It would be like a dear with a bullseye mark walking around the forest in hunting season claiming that it's unfair they got shot. Yes you should be able to wear what you want BUT sometimes it is about taking ownership to try and avoid it happening again. Kids being raped is different. Kids rarely dress themselves but parents should be careful in letting their kids go out in skimpy revealing clothes. It may seem like I'm passing the blame onto the victims - im not... im merely acknowledging that there are perverts and creeps out there that do rape and chose their victims on how they look - so why run the risk and make yourself an easy target. Granted, in some cases it was about being in the wrong place at the wrong time or just being randomly chosen.
Most parents think better of their male friends and relatives than that. Nobody expects their kid to be raped until it happens.