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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps
Interview With Expert
The world of modern dating can be cray-cray. More and more, people are turning to dating apps in the hopes of meeting their perfect match, but this doesn’t come without its pitfalls. With the ever-present hookup culture, unsolicited adult pics, catfishing, and profiles that use photoshopped images or filters, online dating is a potential minefield.
One Reddit user recently turned to the community to ask the question, “People who use dating apps, what is the weirdest message you’ve gotten to start a conversation?”, and the results were truly mind blowing. Keep reading for 31 of the strangest messages online daters have sent as an icebreaker.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Opened our initial conversation on PlentyofFish by asking for my detailed zombie apocalypse survival plan.
I fell in love immediately. We've been married for almost 12 years now.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
They found the only normal person on Puddle of Freaks. A friend of mine met two girls from PoF. The first basically just used him to move house, and the second's opening gambit was "I don't like to be touched".
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
Number 2 I can understand, and number one, while manupulative and cruel is still normal
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Mark Fuller 1 year ago
Contingency plans for such an eventuality are key to a lasting relationship!
RELATED:
#2
I once got an opening message that said something like “you might not be the prettiest girl on here, but beauty is only a light switch away.” This was over 10 years ago, and I bet that dude is still single.
Mike m 1 year ago
When you have pickup lines like that the celibacy is voluntary.
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Alexandra Nara 1 year ago
ok,but you have to stay out my house,cause my selfesteem is quite allergic to dumb deadbeats and my immune system responds with impulsive kicks and punches
#3
My brother sent this girl a message on Hot or Not: "Do you like burittos?"
They've been together for 17 years and married for 11 now.
As you can tell from looking at this list, there’s no end to the weirdness when it comes to starting a conversation on dating apps. You’d think that people would want to make the best first impression, but that’s clearly not been the plan when it comes to these truly odd messages.
Some are a little insulting, while others are just plain out there. Perhaps the people who sent these messages are trolling, or maybe they truly think kicking a convo off with a strange message will set them apart and make them stand out from the crowd.
Still, if you’re looking to put your best foot forward, it might not be the best idea to come on too strong or too strange, at first. Asking a potential mate what they do for a living, or what their favorite books or shows are, is a good bet. At least you have less of a chance of scaring them away with your opening salvo.
That being said, sometimes it can work. One user’s brother used Hot or Not to ask a prospective mate whether or not she liked burritos; the couple has now been together for 17 years and married for 11. That’s a happy ending in anyone’s books.
#4
A girl once messaged me with something along the lines of “do you ever see a bunch of cheese and say damn, I want to eat that cheese. And by cheese I mean my p***y”. I couldn’t help myself and replied that I’m lactose intolerant.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
The first 2/3 of that line would have got me interested. I love cheese. Cheese is life.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
Looks like she's been taking intro advice from the fellas and come up with her own version 😮🤣🤢🤣
#5
A friend got the message “Wow. Your eyes could start a cult”.
james stevenson 1 year ago
"That's funny because I actually use them as prisons for demons. Isn't that such a coincidence?"
BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
Love the blonde girl "culturally appropriating" the Nat Geo girl. (ICYMI, the most famous "eyes" photograph of all time was a National Geographic magazine cover of an Afghani girl with piercing eyes.) UPDATE: I figured she deserved to be named, so I looked her up. Sharbat Gula. The Wiki article about her photo (simply named "Afghan girl") cites CNN in calling her photo "the most famous photograph in the world." And yes, I'm kidding about "cultural appropriation."
#6
The weirdest first message I've received was "My hovercraft is full of eels", and I can't imagine what sort of conversation she expects if the person she sends the message to doesn't happen to be a Monty Python fan (we're getting old and rare here).
Lotekguy 1 year ago (edited)
She must only want replies from Python fans. If it's that important to her, it's a highly efficient way to cull through the crop.
Sue User 1 year ago
I watched a ted talk where the woman was going on horrible dates. Everyone told her she was too picky and to "be open to other possibilites. But she refined her criteria and while she had way fewer matches, she also had much better dates.
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 1 year ago
Could be worse. "My mother smelt of elderberries." (What I didn't know when I first laughed at the silliness of that is that elderberries were a treatment for STDs.)
OneHappyPuppy 1 year ago
The original quote is your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries. I read somewhere that it was because they were used for alcoholic beverages, but it was too specific for me, your explanation is more plausible
Load More Replies... Dumb teenager 1 year ago
My best friend is a hopeless monty python fan and he's still got a few years to go before he finishes his teen years. You're not all old. In saying that he has the music taste of a 70 yr old, so he's kinda a lost cause at this point.
It is possible that weird can be wonderful. Just consider the ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ trope made popular in more than a few of cinema’s recent years. The term “manic pixie dream girl” (MPDG) was first used by film critic Nathan Rabin in his review of “Elizabethtown” to describe Kirsten Dunst’s character in the movie.
Rabin wrote that the MPDG exists “solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”
In her article for popular Hollywood website, Backstage.com, Crystal Duran says a manic pixie dream girl is the embodiment of a certain male fantasy: a charming woman who “isn’t like other girls” and has no desires of her own. While she may possess personality traits or a backstory that suggest a fully fleshed-out character, the story gives her little to no space to develop, learn, or advance her own interests.
Duran goes on to say that this type of character exudes an aura of ethereal, quirky unattainability and that you can find MPDGs everywhere in popular culture, almost always in stories written and/or directed by men.
#7
Matched with a woman. Her first message was, “I guess you’ll do.”.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
It's a lot more promising that most of my teenage years.
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#8
“I want my wife to have your eyes.”
I don’t think it was meant like that, but my first thought was that the dude wanted to cut out my eyeballs.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Reasonable to worry that the rest of his meaning was "for one of her recipes ".
Annie 1 year ago
"He has my father's eyes." "Gomez, take those out of his mouth."
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SDLT010 1 year ago
Pretty sure he's insinuating that she will be his future wife
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Natty Tempest 1 year ago
"I already have the right skin, but could I see your hands for good measure?"
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
There's so much wrong with this that the fact that this dude's cheating on his wife didn't even get mentioned in the post
Mike Beck 1 year ago
Really? Because I read as another "clever" way to say "you look like my future wife".
Load More Replies... #9
I was the weird one. I’d start off commenting about something in the background of a pic. If I couldn’t think of something funny I’d just say “how do you feel about geese?” Most people have strong opinions.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
My mom got chased by lots of them for bread once as a kid (which someone filmed instead of helping for some reason? Like, in the family?) so I have been raised with a strong hatred of geese.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Geese are just a******s, man. Apparently they’re renaming every bird that’s named after a person, and I think we really need to take this opportunity to rename Canada Geese “Those Motherf*ckers”
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Alyssa Phillips 1 year ago
They're the freaking devil and should be somehow banned from all public spaces. All the asshats saying "oh, look at the goose let's feed it" are asshats. They don't leave. They don't leave and the poop everywhere and block roads and chase people who are minding their own business. Geese. Suck. A*s.
Bexxxx 1 year ago
Especially of the Canada variety. Absolute velociraptors.
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On social publishing platform, Medium, author PsychoMarcus writes relatable insights on mental wellness, relationships, self-discovery, and personal growth. In his article titled, “Navigating the Competitive World of Online Dating: A Man’s Perspective”, he takes a closer look at the challenges and opportunities that men face when dating online.
He says that, while dating in the digital age has made it more accessible and convenient for people to meet potential partners, online dating can be highly competitive and challenging, especially for men. He goes on to say that making a good first impression is essential, but it can be difficult when there are so many other men vying for attention.
Not to say it isn’t as challenging for women. More than a few men walking this planet have been known to give online dating a bad name with their inappropriate advances and general bad behavior.
#10
"Excuse me good sir, would you kindly like to hook up?"
She was clearly wasted. 5 minutes later she unmatches. Apparently she didn't like I wasn't available immediately. This isn't a f*****g Wendy's.
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
I remember in an episode of House they used the term "microwave pizza" for situations like this. cheap, convinient and disposable. Only works if you're ok with being used as all of the above.
#11
After my girlfriend and I started dating, she showed me her dating profile so I could see how many messages she was getting. About 50-70 per day, most of them were just “hi”. A few were really creepy (“you look like my daughter/student/sister”), but one stood out to us and we laugh about it to this day.
“you ever get f****d by a marine baby”
No punctuation or question mark, so we asked ourselves “what, like a baby shark? Baby whale?” lol… In the end she had 1500 unread messages when she deactivated her account.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Perhaps he left out the comma after marine. Regardless, probably not much of a loss.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
Isn't it "marine" as in "US war-fighting people"? (I'm blanking on the term that applies to marines, navy, army, air force, etc.)
infifthposition 1 year ago
i respect her showing him and not responding, but i feel like she should have deactivated the account as soon as they started dating?
#12
I am a sterile man and a woman messaged me first on Tinder with "It's a shame you can't have kids. I mean, what if we fall in love after we f**k and I want to have your babies and I can't? I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work." After I replied, she ignored it and unmatched a few days later. We were both looking for casual so extra weird.
As a bonus, when I moved to a new area, I decided to use Bumble BFF to make friends. I didn't realize that apparently gay dudes use it to low-key try to pick up straight men. The first message I got was a dude asking me if I would fart in his face with my cheeks spread open. I turned it off after.
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
I love how she messaged him and essentially accused him of wasting her time
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
I didn't know there was a bumble for making friends, I need to download it immediately (v hard to make friends past a certain age esp when you don't have kids)
Natty Tempest 1 year ago
My first message to someone on Bumble was "you're either a very ugly woman, or your gender is listed wrong... Maybe see to that before you get reported"..the guy responded with something like "lol, reported by who?". So I reported him....and all the other blokes listed as women so they could d**k-fish...
Need advice on picking a pleasing path through the forest of dating apps? In an article for healthcare provider MindBodyGreen, an LLC based in Brooklyn, New York, contributing relationships editor, certified sex educator, and holistic dating coach, Kelly Gonsalves, says that the first key to successful online dating is picking the best dating app or dating site that’s most suited to what you’re looking for, and sticking with it.
Bored Panda reached out to Gonsalves to get her opinions on unconventional first lines from the world of dating apps.
When we asked her whether she had any advice for online daters who've received strange or odd opening messages, she had this to say, "If someone sends you a quirky opening line, I wouldn't necessarily write them off right away. A lot of people on dating apps are just trying their best to stand out because they know there's so many other options to scroll through."
Kelly goes on to say that some people might spring for an eyebrow-raising comment or edgy joke in the hopes that you have a genuine reaction of laughter (or even just "WTF?") that makes you want to respond.
Says Gonsalves, "Unless humor isn't your thing, I think it's totally fine to exchange a few messages with such people to see if there's more there beyond the jokes."
#13
Whose d**k do I have to suck to suck a d**k around here.
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
When I was still cosplaying as a bloke, I once had a woman come up to me in a bar and say "you've got a d1ck, buy me a drink". When I declined she slugged me the face and ripped my cheek open with one of her rings. My vision cleared up just in time for me to see the bouncers *throw* her out the door.
#14
As a man, I didn't get any opening messages. Got some doozy responses. One that still haunts me is when I sent this woman a nice opening message, talking about some of the things in her profile we had in common and asking a few open ended questions to start a conversation.
Her response was: "With all the hot military guys in town, you need to put your aim lower."
Then she blocked me. I thought I already had low self esteem, but it took another hit that day. lol.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
What a gutter twat.. a reply like that puts her value at sewer level.
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
My answer would be, "Funny...a lot of hot military guys in town, but none of them seem to want you..." Or am I assuming too much or taking the "in town" part too literal? Lol
Suck it Trebek 1 year ago
People like that aren't worth having in your life. Good self esteem also means knowing when not to pursue a c*nt.
That Person 1 year ago
Being in a relationship with a person in the military must be super difficult. My dad is in the military, and is currently halfway across the world and will stay there for years.
Roman Spruce 1 year ago
The vast majority of the time you move to the same duty station as the soldier and you speed run making friends. Plus you get to explore a new area every 2 or 3 years.
Load More Replies... #15
I was on hinge for a while and saw someone had “can’t text/call/meet on weekends because I’m in jail.” I thought this was a joke. It was not. She was doing time on the weekend for assault.
Mike F 1 year ago
Yepper, there's a couple of different types. There's "work release" where they essentially live at the jail and are released to work. Then there's weekend jail where they report Friday evening and get out on Sunday/Monday morning. I think the aim is for the person to be able to keep their jobs while doing their jail obligations. Pretty cool actually.
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YourLocalChicken 1 year ago
Make sure to wear multiple sweaters. (FRIENDS reference) and also bring a bodyguard, and a k-9, and police...
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#16
Some gay dude offering me a free place to live if I s**t in a box and gave it to him every time I s**t.
I was neither gay nor looking for a place to live and I didn't bother to ask what the s**t was for.
Crazy Meerkat Lady 1 year ago
Serious question, what would someone do with someone else's s**t anyway?
Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago
Uhm. Some people are… into… that type of thing. I know boredpanda is obsessed with “no kink shaming” but… EW
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
Wt actual f? I hope this was just someone trolling and playing a stupid chat prank O_o
When we asked Kelly why she thinks people come up with odd opening lines to woo a potential partner, she says that, on dating apps, many people feel like they need to do whatever they can to stand out amongst all the hundreds of options and messages people might be sifting through.
Kelly says that "If you can make someone laugh, they might actually stop and respond to you even just to send an equally funny response. Then you've got a little banter going, and you can start to have an actual conversation from there."
She adds that some people also just enjoy humor and silly banter in general, so it makes sense that they'd use something like that as an opening line.
#17
"You want to be my first dark skin ;)?"
Some gay dudes really have no shame.
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago
I'm on dark mode, so I know your secrets! Haha! (Dark mode, the "click here to view" is still black but normal text is white)
Load More Replies... #18
"You're cute , hate dogs though"
(I had very my cute dog in a photo).
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
That's a no from me. Could not live with someone who hated dogs. Dogs are life. Sorry, dogs and cheese are life (gotta be consistent with earlier reply)
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
I respect that they were honest - no BS asking OP to get rid of a pet for them. No fuss or drama, just recognition that it wouldn’t work
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
Dog hating is a huge deal breaker for me! I have 2 big fluffer nutters whom I love so much 💙
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Thank you for letting me know you're a hard pass. Im much happier with my dogs than I could ever be with that person.
mooshoflove 1 year ago
What?! Is that even a thing?! DOCS ARE AMAZING! the human must be a psychopath! 😱🤮
#19
I was on Bumble, and got asked my Myers Briggs personality type. When I responded, she unmatched immediately.
Gotta respect the hustle.
Joshua Seaman 1 year ago
I once read that "Myers Briggs is basically corporate astrology", and that is so on point.
Nonna_SoF 1 year ago
I remember taking that s**t once. Don't remember the results though. I'd be much more interested in their political compass score. Helps see if you have common values.
Ranger Kanootsen 1 year ago
What's your political compass score? I'm apparently a 'True Centrist'
Load More Replies... Alexandra Nara 1 year ago
I wouldn't even know..Kinda 1 A maybe..but with a lot more manners than hers 😁
#20
"WHY DON'T YOU SKYDIVE INTO THIS P***Y!!!" and then immediately unmatching me when I was like, "Woah now...".
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 1 year ago
Maybe he was just a really really good skydiver.
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Alexandra Nara 1 year ago
I guess the unmatch was a mistake, dinos just don't have thr right claw size for mobiles
Bored Panda had one final question for Kelly: What would you suggest as the perfect opening message in the world of online dating?
Gonsalves says there's no one single message that's going to work on every single person. "We're all different in terms of what we find interesting and attractive in a potential partner, so my biggest tip is to adapt your message to whoever you're messaging."
She says a good go-to approach is to actually read through the person's profile thoroughly and respond to something they wrote, whether that's asking a follow-up question about something to spark conversation or making a joke that jumps off something they mentioned.
"And remember to have fun with it and show genuine curiosity! We can usually sense when it feels like the other person is just slogging through the process to try to get someone to respond to them, and it's not so cute." added Gonsalves.
Have you come across anything weirder than the come-ons in this list? What do you think of strange first approaches on dating apps? Interesting or just icky? Let us know in the comments!
#21
Ah man. There were a few.
"What is your credit score?" (literally their first line after I messaged a greeting)
"Do you want children? I want to start having them in the next year." (this is coming from someone in their late twenties)
"I like it when people are mean to me. Can you f**k me up?" (that's baggage I can't handle even at the best of times)
"CNC?" (translates to "Consentual Non-Consentual"... hard no for me)
"You're not my type. But my gay friend thinks you'd be a good 'daddy.' Can I give him your number?" (kinda flattering, I guess?)
"My husband died last year and I am looking for someone to be a part of my family." (she had 3 kids, all sub 10 years old)
"You're white. I only date black guys." (so why'd you match with me???)
The list goes on. Needless to say, I periodically rage-quit dating apps after a month or two of this.
Crazy Meerkat Lady 1 year ago (edited)
CNC? I can see what it stands for but what does it even mean when you ask someone in this context?
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
I have literally no idea what my credit score is. Is it a generational thing to need to know it, or a regional thing? It does seem to be either young people, Americans, or young Americans who go on about it.
Mike m 1 year ago
There's a conspiracy going around that some people get married just to have someone help with their student loans or other debts.
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#22
‘Hi there! You look like Anne Frank’ 🙁.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
That's inappropriate on so many levels. Like, she was a *kid* when she died. And, probably more importantly, SHE DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST SERIOUSLY GUYS!
Undercover 1 year ago
I mean, perhaps she just looked like Anne Frank? 🤔 Aren't we allowed to talk about victimized people in a neutral manner?
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Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Tbh all the many many potential issues in that comment aside. Im genuinely curious what would inspire someone to make that connection. While her name is well known her face isn't, so why did he (?) make that connection... so so curious.
Queeqec 1 year ago
Her face isn't? If you heard about her (story), you've most likely seen her face as well. At least here in central Europe (NOT Germany) we've learned in school, had to read the book and have seen the film several times in my generation. (Started school in the 80s)
Load More Replies... Crazy Meerkat Lady 1 year ago
Looking at this picture I immediately thought of someone that I know (she is about 70 now) but they have the same kind of smile. I don't think there is anything wrong with saying it, I just think the person who received the message is freaked out because Anne Frank is dead and because of how she died.
Valek Fermiga 1 year ago
I mean, it's not the best opening line, however, could be meant as a compliment?? Obviously depending on the ages of both parties, could also be kind of creepy.....
Ouss Ben Aziza 1 year ago
My toxic trait is my morbid curiosity that would compel me to explore the mind of a person that can formulate that thought...
#23
My ex got messaged by the Swiss Cheese Pervert on OK Cupid.
He started out respectful enough but by the 3rd paragraph was talking about how he likes to [enjoy some alone time] with cheese.
She told her friends but no one believed her (she blocked him so the messages disappeared) until he started [being a bit too intimate] with cheese in public, got caught and went viral.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
Okay, wait, is this talking about a guy fûcking cheese? Including in public? Or am I reading this wrong?
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
He’s a serial sex offender that offered people money to watch him rub cheese on his dingaling.
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Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
The fact that this guy has a title like a serial killer or a supervillain lol 😆
Alexandra Nara 1 year ago
as a child I was told the holes in the cheese were made by cute little mice.. This seems to be the adult version then
Dream 1 year ago (edited)
This is wild story. From the article: "according to the non-traffic citation issued to Pagano, he asked a woman, “I have a fetish when a girl sucks cheese off my d***. Will you do it?” The victim, whose name was not made publicly known on Tuesday, called police. The case landed him behind bars for two months." TWO MONTHS IN JAIL FOR ASKING THIS? Edit: If that's the case, what does Trump asking if you can inject bleach get? Or bomb hurricanes with nukes? Point being, people ask stupid questions all the time with no jail time.
#24
I matched with a guy who taught at my old HS. I was in his homeroom class for 1 year, so we didn't really talk much, but he gave me an entire essay confessing his love to me. He told me how he noticed me but never made the move, and was glad I finally reciprocated.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I was a teacher, and I can say that this is so messed upon so many levels.
jjdubs W 1 year ago (edited)
No, he was her teacher. ONLY CREEPY! Also, matching does NOT equal "reciprocating." Yikes is much more like it!
Load More Replies... Natty Tempest 1 year ago
Aah, Such a sweet love story... All it needs is to be set in a century where that kind thing is not hideously inappropriate.
#25
Whenever a girl starts a conversation too [intimately] or wants [intimate pics] right away, I know it's a scam.
Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
I'm confused - what needed to be replaced with the first "[intimately]"?
#26
I’ve been in a relationship for five years but I was regularly on Tinder before that.
I had my job title and company on my profile, which back then was an administrative/management job for a UK parcel company.
Girl messaged me asking if I could track her parcel for her. I didn’t know if she was joking or not but she just kept asking me weird things about parcels and then blocked me.
Forever wondered what was the point?
Crazy Meerkat Lady 1 year ago
"Just kept asking weird things about parcels" LOL!!!! I wish I knew what the questions were!
Natty Tempest 1 year ago
"Baby, I'm getting something shipped and I need to know when it's going to....arrive..." said to a cheezy porno backing track hahaa!
#27
My buddy got a self-esteem slaughterer of a response once.
He asked her about the book series she mentioned in her profile.
She replied, “Too far. Too fat.”
And that was it. Killer.
Alexandra Nara 1 year ago
I get how many messages some ladies may get a day.. but always think about how hard it can be to make the first move- so just respond like you wanted to be responded.
#28
In 2016 I once got “Is your name Harambe? Because I want you to drag me around in public”.
#29
One guy asked me for a pair of dirty panties.
One offered to make me dinner at his house and gave me the address.
One guy asked me if I would go with him to burning man.
A guy asked me how much I made an hour, because he wouldn’t date anyone who made less than 20 an hour.
Yet another asked me if I knew what BDSM was, and demanded that I be a submissive. (I am no where near submissive, except with one human being.)
I had pretty much given up on online dating for years, now.
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
I don't get whats wrong with number 2 and 3, although all I know about burning man is what I learned from 30 seconds of reading wikipedia (kinda sounds similar to the local music festivals)
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago
Are you a guy? Because #2 immediately set off all the rapey alarm bells in my head
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Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
I'm sure there are people out there who have successful relationships though online dating, but most of the people I know who have tried it tell me it's a bigger headache than it's worth.
Dream 1 year ago
So according to this and commenters here, if you offer to make dinner for a date "it's rapey" and if you use the term female AT ALL, you're an incel. Got it.
Petra 1 year ago
No, that's not what was said. Offering a dinner date as both the very first thing you say and as the very first date is "rapey" because it puts the person you're asking in a very dangerous, sometimes rapey situation. Going to someone's house by yourself requires a great deal of trust. A stranger doesn't know you well enough to trust you. Now, if you get to know someone first and have spent enough time with them to show them that you're a safe person to be alone with, then you can invite them to your place for a dinner date. It's not that cooking dinner as a date concept is "rapey" in and of itself. Instead, it's all about appropriate timing and building trust first. That's the issue at play here.
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#30
A woman on her first message, which was literally sent just to moan about how I was "in my 30's and didn't own my house", like I could magically find a solution for that. That was all she messaged for, as far as I can tell.
Didn't even bother to reply and tell her that I was renting because I'd given my house to my ex-wife rather than fight over it.
Christos Arvanitis 1 year ago
There's an old joke- "My first two wives took my houses in the divorce so I just found a woman I hated and gave her a house..."
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sofacushionfort 1 year ago
Since corporations have legal status as people, she should date Blackrock
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
With the cost of living, I'm pretty sure no one owns their own house anymore.
#31
I had on my “about me” that I was an artist. She flew off the handle that I had a regular job as a sign designer. Called me “fake”. How about “responsible”?
Final score:
13points
Dreaming Spirit 1 year ago
I know several artists and they all have regular daytime jobs. You have to eat, what's wrong with that? Only the top dogs can support themselves and their families on art alone.
kath morgan 1 year ago
It’s tough to be an artist without at least a part time day job. Getting one halfway relevant is pretty lucky 👍
#32
A girl matched with me and messaged me that “She’s older than me and men’s egos are very fragile”. No idea how she thought that was gonna go..? She was a year older….
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
My partner is almost 20 years older than me... it works for us, doesn't bother me, and none of our friends think it's weird. We're both over 40, by the way.
#33
heard one about someone who got asked do you eat p**sy and he responded with no only pork. lol
Final score:
6points
#34
Not me , but on Omegle (an old website were you basically FaceTime strangers) sooooooooo many old men showing their peepee to young girls.
Final score:
4points
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
The strangest thing I ever saw on Omegle (or maybe it was Chatroulette) was someone wearing one of those balloon suits, like Missy Elliott in the 90s, you know, Supa Dupa Fly. Head to toe black inflatable puffy suit, even covering his face and eyes. Then proceeded to just have a totally normal conversation with me where I didn't mention what he was wearing (wanted to see if he brought it up first, never did)
#35
An old school friend DM'D me... "I see your surname changed [back]."
Final score:
1point
Hoi-Polloi 1 year ago
Overheard at a funeral: "So, Vivian... I understand you're single again."
#36
This isn’t from a dating app, but one that I found. “Are you Lebron James? Because you are my sunshine”
Final score:
1point
ITalkToChickens 1 year ago
This is a memer. This is a fairly well known meme- in a tiny subsection of the internet called gen z brain rot memes.
What do you think ?
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
Humans never fail to exeed expectations, especially when the internets involved
Load More Replies... MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
And by some miracle I met my husband online. We don't really know quite how it happened, either
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago (edited)
I met a guy on PoF a LONG time ago. He seemed really nice at first. Then I didn't respond for an hour to make my son dinner. I got back on and there were numerous messages yelling at me for not messaging back. I told him I was making dinner for my kid so I wasn't on my phone. He told me that he should be the most important thing to me ( we had been talking for like 2 days). I told him to F off and blocked him. He made ANOTHER profile and proceeded to berate me and call me all the names in the book. I inactivated my account for a while after that. I ended up reactivating my account a few months later and met my now husband. Been together 7 years last week, married for 5 in August.
Cyndielouwhoo 1 year ago
When I was on a dating site ages back (that's how my hubby and I met) I stumbled across two co-workers on the site...there are some things you really don't want to know about your coworkers. One had a fake name on their profile, so there's that too...
Annie 1 year ago
Had a guy tell me he would never hurt me, or hit me, or beat me...no, you won't, because you're blocked. Another guy messaged me asking if I had a problem dating a guy who's metrosexual (really into grooming & dressing well). I responded with, "As long as you're not prettier than me!" He never messaged me back. Either he was prettier or had no sense of humor.
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
Humans never fail to exeed expectations, especially when the internets involved
Load More Replies... MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
And by some miracle I met my husband online. We don't really know quite how it happened, either
Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago (edited)
I met a guy on PoF a LONG time ago. He seemed really nice at first. Then I didn't respond for an hour to make my son dinner. I got back on and there were numerous messages yelling at me for not messaging back. I told him I was making dinner for my kid so I wasn't on my phone. He told me that he should be the most important thing to me ( we had been talking for like 2 days). I told him to F off and blocked him. He made ANOTHER profile and proceeded to berate me and call me all the names in the book. I inactivated my account for a while after that. I ended up reactivating my account a few months later and met my now husband. Been together 7 years last week, married for 5 in August.
Cyndielouwhoo 1 year ago
When I was on a dating site ages back (that's how my hubby and I met) I stumbled across two co-workers on the site...there are some things you really don't want to know about your coworkers. One had a fake name on their profile, so there's that too...
Annie 1 year ago
Had a guy tell me he would never hurt me, or hit me, or beat me...no, you won't, because you're blocked. Another guy messaged me asking if I had a problem dating a guy who's metrosexual (really into grooming & dressing well). I responded with, "As long as you're not prettier than me!" He never messaged me back. Either he was prettier or had no sense of humor.
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