“One Of My Husband’s Friends Made Me Uncomfortable At Our Wedding, But It’s My Own Fault”
Interview
There’s no cookie cutter for creating the perfect wedding. Whatever the bride and groom imagine for their special day should be just fine for everyone else, even if that means encouraging guests to wear their own wedding dresses.
But after one bride invited all attendees to don the very fanciest clothes they have for her wedding, she was surprised to see what her husband’s ex-fiancé showed up in. Below, you’ll find a post that this newlywed recently shared on the True Off My Chest subreddit where she wonders if she has a right to be upset, as well as an interview with the bride herself.
This bride was set on having a “princess wedding” where all guests wore their most extravagant looks
Image credits: avanti_photo (not the actual photo)
However, she was not prepared for what her husband’s ex-fiancé decided to wear
Image credits: eeveephotography19 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: vedrana2701 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Weddingdressthrow11
The bride later shared an update on the situation, explaining where her and her husband now stand with this friend
Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Weddingdressthrow11
It’s common for brides and grooms to request that their guests follow some sort of dress code
We were able to get in touch with this bride via Reddit, and she was kind enough to have a chat with us about this whole situation. First, she noted that she is relieved this “friend” will no longer be in her and her husband’s life. We were also curious why this former friend of hers held onto this wedding dress all these years, knowing she would probably never have the chance to wear it. “I think she kept it for sentimental reasons because of her dad,” the newlywed told Bored Panda. “I don’t know why she didn’t wear it to her own wedding. I don’t know if she would’ve gotten another chance to wear it, maybe on one her anniversaries like a ten year one when most people renew their vows.”
Thankfully, all of this dress drama did not distract too much, as the bride says she still had a wonderful wedding. “The outfits were GORGEOUS,” she shared. “My favorite part was seeing my mom in her own wedding dress as I said ‘I do’. For some reason, it felt very sentimental and symbolic.” And finally, we asked the OP if she thinks couples should have any rules surrounding maintaining friendships with their exes. “Yes I do, but every person is different,” she noted. “Which is why I believe everyone should be upfront with their boundaries from the jump, which may or may not change the longer the relationship lasts.”
Many brides would be horrified by the idea of having guests show up to their wedding wearing white dresses, let alone their own wedding gowns. But for a glamorous “princess wedding”, it makes perfect sense. And while this particular bride was only trying to curate the wedding of her dreams by having guests show up dressed to the nines, she’s not the first person to have this fabulous, nontraditional idea. Another couple went viral in 2019 for specifically asking guests to come to the occasion wearing their own wedding gowns. “We thought it was sad that most women only get to wear their wedding dress once, so we invited all the women coming to our non-traditional wedding to wear their old wedding dresses again!” the groom explained in an Imgur post he shared, featuring a photo of his wife and some of her friends who dressed all in white. There’s no need to follow tradition when it comes to planning your wedding, in fact, it can be even more exciting to deviate from what’s expected and decide on your own unique theme.
Image credits: Thomas AE (not the actual photo)
But the issue here seems to be more about the guest herself than what she decided to wear
Requesting that wedding guests follow a specific color scheme or dress code is actually quite common. This might include providing a handful of approved colors that guests are encouraged to wear or asking them specifically to wear shades of one color. If the wedding will have a theme, such as ballroom, it can be helpful to provide guests with inspiration photos to ensure that they understand what’s expected of them. And if you’re wondering what the best way to request guests follow a certain look is, the experts at WeddingLearning recommend alerting attendees in their invitations, allowing them plenty of time to figure out their looks. “It’s best to be direct and ask guests to adhere to it,” they explain. “By being clear about your desires, you can ensure that everyone is on the same page and that your wedding day runs smoothly.”
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with requesting that guests follow whatever dress code will make your wedding day more magical, but unfortunately, in this specific situation, it appears that the dress was not the only issue. This newlywed seemed to have known prior to the wedding that she had an issue with her husband’s ex-fiancé, so it might not have been wise to include her in the event in the first place. When maintaining a relationship with an ex, it can be difficult to know whether or not they should receive an invitation to your wedding. But according to Ivy Jacobson at The Knot, it’s crucial that everyone is 100% comfortable with them coming before they are invited. She recommends considering how all “key players” in the wedding will react to this person coming. “If you have even the tiniest fear they’ll upset someone or that a guest (or your fiancé) may be distracted by their presence, cut them from the guest list—they’ll likely understand why,” Jacobson writes.
Inviting exes to a wedding can be risky, so it’s important for couples to communicate and ensure they’re both completely comfortable with who’s on the guest list
On the other hand, it can be perfectly normal to have exes at your wedding. After all, we don’t live in a world where people marry their first kisses anymore, Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert based in San Antonio, Texas, told The New York Times. And it can bring a healthy sense of closure to see your ex move on and be happy with someone else, as they start their new life together. But at the end of the day, it completely depends on the nature of the relationship and how both parties feel about one another.
Whether or not the friend in this story has lingering feelings the groom, readers agreed that it was a questionable choice to hold onto that wedding dress all these years and decide to wear it at his wedding to someone else. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride had the right to be upset after asking guests to wear their fanciest looks? And how would you have reacted if you were in her shoes? Feel free to share your thoughts, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring wedding drama surrounding what the groom’s ex decided to wear, look no further than right here.
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Readers chimed in with their thoughts, so the bride joined the conversation to clarify details and provide more info
Many readers assured the bride that she has the right to be bothered, warning her that this friendship may need to end
Maybe I'm on my own here but... OP said that 1. She told people to wear their best dress and acknowledged that this is Kate's best dress. 2. She told people they could even wear wedding dresses and that between the two wedding dresses this one was fancier and was now expensive. 3. She never specified to Kate that she wanted people to wear the dress they were married in, just that they could wear a wedding dress. I get that this probably is something you don't think to specify but when you see her at your wedding you should think 'oops well oh well'. 4. The bride literally said 'try to outshine me' why would she ever wear the other dress? This is a dress no one would have seen. Yes kate is high school but even at its most cynical-- she came in her best dress to watch her ex marry someone else-- he didn't end everything and run off with her and I doubt anyone was talking about it except his high school friends who would probably find it tacky af...
... plus... let's be honest-- and assume she's not a character from dynasty and this wasn't a huge plot because... let's be real.. Jarold, her husband showed up. I can guarantee if my husband considered for a moment that I was going out of my way to try to sabotage an ex's wedding by doing what I can to rile the bride-- he would not have come and DHs tend to pick up on your more obvious vengeful thoughts... especially if she's a high school as OP claims... Jarold would have noticed and either convinced her to wear a different dress or not gone to support her. With all this in mind, let's assume there was no grand plot-- Kate wanted to look her best, wear her best dress and shine at a grand ball themed wedding, in a place where other women would be looking their best in their wedding dresses. She could wear her lower budget wedding dress or a dress she has never worn that is beautiful, is a gift from her late-dad that may even be somewhat cathartic to finally wear. Hmm.
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Wow OP and her new husband sound really cool and mature. I love the wedding theme idea, that honestly sounds like so much fun, I’d wear my gigantic grad dress (like you couldn’t physically get within 4 feet of me if you tried because this dress was BIG and very LOUD 😂) I need to meet and befriend these people haha.
I thought the same thing! 🤣 Except instead of my 1st dress, which I donated, (it WAS huge, it contributed to 5 more out of the beading alone! 🤣), or my second (20 years older and too big now.), I'd wear my witch Halloween costume with the bell skirt and cape. She wants a princess wedding, I'll be the Evil Queen that every fairytale has! 🤣
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I know she explained it, but I still don’t get how in a sea of wedding dresses OP was able to notice that this woman was wearing a different wedding dress that she happened to see once hanging in a closet. I guess that some people have an eye for that, but I’m also thinking that OP never really liked this woman (justifiably from the sound of it) and was looking for a little axe to grind.
I don't think you're an a*****e but I don't think she was totally out of line, as she really did what you asked her to
Wait, what? You asked everyone to wear their best, fanciest wedding like clothes to your wedding themed wedding, right? Then when your groom's ex wears the dress she was going to wear for their wedding, that didn't happen, you got all pissy. WTF? You have no one to blame in this scenario. She did exactly what you requested, regardless of whose or which wedding the dress was originally destined for, it was a wedding themed event and her fanciest dress. She is married to someone else and you are now married to your husband, let it go and move on. To continue to fixate on your own faux pax will only create further unhappiness for you. Get a grip 🙄
By the way the bride described "Kate" and her actions, I would guess that she wanted to upset the bride on her wedding day, especially since Kate knew that OP knew it was supposed to be the dress for the wedding to OP's husband. On the flip side, it could just be the only chance she'd ever have to wear the wedding dress her father bought for her, who passed early on in her life. It could also be both.
Why the heck would OP even notice what anyone else wore to her wedding, much less ruminate over it long after the event? Did she have nothing better going on that day? Nothing else to pay attention to?
Lol my thoughts exactly. I imagine his name is Harold and OP just lacks imagination.
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Well, I'm going against most but I disagree with people who had a problem with it. First of all, I was engaged in 1991 and I still have that dress and it has absolutely nothing to do with any feelings for the person I was engaged to at the time. You said yourself they have minimal income between them and that her father that passed bought it for her. I think it made perfect sense for her to wear that dress. admittedly it was nicer than the one she wore for her own and why not put it to use. you told the guests to wear their best, so he be did just that. I think it could have also held sentimental value in that her dad bought it for her. I think it shouldn't have bothered you since she did not break the dress code or anything. You got your guy, you invited her, she wore what was within the guidelines of what you asked the guests to wear and you shouldn't be bothered or worry about why. Could it be for spite? Maybe,but could also be for practical or sentimental reasons, why guess?
Though Kate sounds like a horrible person, I'm siding with her on this one. I think the OP and her husband sound like cool people, but I don't even get why it bothered her. And if they're just going to let it go, why bring it up on here anyway? She told people to wear their wedding dress and chances are Kate has always wanted to wear that one. No biggie. I had someone show up to my wedding in the most ridiculous outfit ever and I didn't give a flying f*ck. He seemed comfortable and happy. He wasn't in the wedding party so it didn't matter.
I really think OP is nice and the "friend" knew exactly what she was doing. Yes OP left it vague enough for the "friend" to pull a stunt like this, but the friend has a history of doing s****y stuff with juuuust enough leeway to spin it into an "I'm so innocent and confused!" moment. Sounds two-faced, manipulative and exhausting. Glad OP and husband are cutting her out of their life and OP is cool enough not to return the petty.
They definitely need to cut the manipulative b**** out of their lives. However Kate was not wrong; she understood and followed the assignment EXACTLY as instructed. "Wear your BEST CLOTHES. LADIES, TRY TO OUTSHINE ME! You can EVEN WEAR YOUR WEDDING GOWN!" Kate owned two wedding gowns one of them given to her by her dead father. A beautiful gown that she was never ever going to be able to wear anywhere ever... Until, receiving that wedding invitation. There seem to be many reasons for OP and her husband to cut Kate out of their lives. But her choice of ballgown is NOT one of them.
Load More Replies... If the dress was so special to her, why didn't she wear it to the wedding with her husband instead of a different one.
Because it was meant for a different marriage. A bit of superstition perhaps. Or maybe her husband didn't want to marry her in a dress she was originally going to wear to marry someone else.
Load More Replies... I agree that op is at fault here, as her wording of "best dress" and "wear your wedding dress" kinda lead to her wearing her better wedding dress, but... its still tacky to wear a dress intended for the groom at the grooms wedding. I have to wonder what her husband thought of her wearing a dress intended for another man AT THAT MANS WEDDING.
I don't know why the bride is complaining; she got EXACTLY what she asked for. Yes, what Kate wore was weird, but her behavior is what's more troubling. She & her husband do not NEED to be friends with Kate anymore, seriously. They need to end that fake friendship... immediately! I don't let any of my friends talk s*** about my husband and he doesn't let any of his friends talk s*** about me. And how pathetic for Kate. She's sitting there in her old but unworn wedding dress watching you walk down the aisle to marry the man of HER dreams? How humiliating!
You sound thoughtful and lovely and it sounds like you found a great man to partner with. While you were the one to throw down the challenge, I think the best of us would have felt the same. Your husband seems awesome! Thoughtful and understanding and noticed what she had done, but took your cue to not make a big deal of it, he was focused on you and your feelings and that is priceless, he's a keeper! Keep focusing on each other and your future, good luck!
First I would absolutely LOVE to be invited to a wedding like this! I haven't been married but would go out and buy the fanciest dress I could find. But I think the person most insulted here is the ex's husband, poor guy. To you it's just a dress. And if anything it demonstrated that you won the guy! She should be embarrassed to emphasize that publicly. I hope otherwise everything was perfect for you. Your husband seems supportive and will probably end up cutting this nutcase out of your life.
What is with people inviting exes to their weddings? I just don't understand this. I would never invite any of mine regardless of friendship. Nor would I accept an invite regardless of friendship. There's always going to be something that happens to upset someone somewhere. Someone please help me understand!!
Well if the couple is truly friends with an ex then they should be invited to the wedding. You can't invite all your friends to the wedding (especially mutual friends) and then cut off the one that you used to date while still claiming to be friends with them. Either you ARE just friends or you are NOT just friends. If inviting your ex to your wedding is THAT WEIRD then it's just as weird to even BE their friend in the first place.
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When OP described her idea fir her wedding, all I could hear was "As the world falls dooown 🎶"
I really wanted to comment to give major kudos on the theme and such a fun healthy attitude on your day! She was being passive aggressive and definitely going beyond your instructions to outshine you. Whether it’s confusion about the road not taken or she has real feelings, she doesn’t want to let go of your husband. It’s good that he’s making that clear
Continuing.... If she treats you this way, she's in the mud and wants you in the mud with her. She's not happy and doesn't want you, or him happy either. Which brings me to my last question. Why does this bother you? You seem like an amazing person, and why thus would bother you is crazy. The only way she can bring you down is for you to care about what's he says and does. She's a piece of s**t, and ypur so much better. Don't pay any attention to her, and if you do, ask her why she's so jealous. Throw it at her and watch her turn red, then smile and walk away. If you would like to answer, I would be excited to hear your response. Your awesome.
This post is a little old, but I just came across it. This might be a little long and I apologize for that. But I would love to ask OP a couple of questions. Please don't take offense. Didn't you ask for this? Ypu asked everyone to out shine you. Weather her motives are malicious or not, you did ask everyone to wear the nicest thing they had. So why would she be singled out? There's obviously some jealousy coming from her. She definitely can't let go. But that brings me to my next question. Why didn't you have some fun with this? You seem so sweet and fun. Just the fact that ex's are welcome in ypur world with you and your husband is awesome. That makes for a great friend group. My wife's ex is one of my best friends. He's uncle Joe to our kids. I pretty much raised his son, and he was always there for support. He's definitely not dad material, but does live his son, just doesn't wanna be tied down. Sorry, but no judgment here.
Why didn't she wear the dress her dead dad got her to her wedding to her husband?? That's the weird part for me. Why does she own two wedding dresses? If her dad was dead by the time she married her husband, surely she'd want to wear a dress with connections to him, so it's like he could be there with her. As well as the implication it was nicer than her actual wedding dress? It said it was an amicable split too and it clearly fitted so like why would she not wear it? So weird. I don't get it
Feeling sorry for Jarold the ex's husband... and amazed anyone could fit their wedding dress years later
Ok, I'm just here to say I'd decline this wedding invite in a New York minute. I absolutely hate dressing up and this whole event sounds like a nightmare.
Op brought this on herself. I mean she could have potentially tried to dye it... but why if op said wear a wedding dress or a princeas dress and do your best to look fab... she did. She didn't think out her instructions well or she is just jealous. Was husband jealous of her former exes shiwing up looking great at a their wedding? No. Op is the one insecure in their relationship
OP, let it go. Your husband loves you and validated your feelings. As you cross other marriage milestones, this incident will become less and less prominent. Don't give Kate "power" by publicly venting about it. Anyone who mentions it is looking for a response...ignore it and it'll die down.
Your issue seems more with the woman than her wedding dress she wore. Yep one could make an argument that the choice of her dress was sending a message as stupid as it was, given the context of her treatment of you. And given her self confessed torch for your husband. I applaud you for giving your guests their princess moments and very generous of you. I hope you complimented her on her choice of dress cause that would have neutralized her negative intent and mute her desired outcome at your wedding. And continue to have a fun time. She doesn't have to be part of your lives in any sense, even in a small town. Be polite when you run into her but don't do small talk. See her as one of the many exes one had before we married our spouses. Take back your personal power, rise above this s"":t and put her in the rear view mirror.
People being people... OP is jealous of the husband's friend and wrote a 10.000 words essay to justify a basic human feeling. Just forget it and move on. Husband also needs to let it go.
Granted, OP did say wear your best dress and it’s OK to outshine her—-BUT she said that with the reasonable expectation that none of them would wear a wedding dress. Most people would never even have that idea cross their minds, much less actually put a dress like that on their backs. I hope the other guests helped make her uncomfortable, from the ceremony to the end of the reception party, for pulling a nasty and mean spirited stunt like that.
She literally told them to wear their wedding dresses.
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Maybe I'm on my own here but... OP said that 1. She told people to wear their best dress and acknowledged that this is Kate's best dress. 2. She told people they could even wear wedding dresses and that between the two wedding dresses this one was fancier and was now expensive. 3. She never specified to Kate that she wanted people to wear the dress they were married in, just that they could wear a wedding dress. I get that this probably is something you don't think to specify but when you see her at your wedding you should think 'oops well oh well'. 4. The bride literally said 'try to outshine me' why would she ever wear the other dress? This is a dress no one would have seen. Yes kate is high school but even at its most cynical-- she came in her best dress to watch her ex marry someone else-- he didn't end everything and run off with her and I doubt anyone was talking about it except his high school friends who would probably find it tacky af...
... plus... let's be honest-- and assume she's not a character from dynasty and this wasn't a huge plot because... let's be real.. Jarold, her husband showed up. I can guarantee if my husband considered for a moment that I was going out of my way to try to sabotage an ex's wedding by doing what I can to rile the bride-- he would not have come and DHs tend to pick up on your more obvious vengeful thoughts... especially if she's a high school as OP claims... Jarold would have noticed and either convinced her to wear a different dress or not gone to support her. With all this in mind, let's assume there was no grand plot-- Kate wanted to look her best, wear her best dress and shine at a grand ball themed wedding, in a place where other women would be looking their best in their wedding dresses. She could wear her lower budget wedding dress or a dress she has never worn that is beautiful, is a gift from her late-dad that may even be somewhat cathartic to finally wear. Hmm.
Load More Replies... Wow OP and her new husband sound really cool and mature. I love the wedding theme idea, that honestly sounds like so much fun, I’d wear my gigantic grad dress (like you couldn’t physically get within 4 feet of me if you tried because this dress was BIG and very LOUD 😂) I need to meet and befriend these people haha.
I thought the same thing! 🤣 Except instead of my 1st dress, which I donated, (it WAS huge, it contributed to 5 more out of the beading alone! 🤣), or my second (20 years older and too big now.), I'd wear my witch Halloween costume with the bell skirt and cape. She wants a princess wedding, I'll be the Evil Queen that every fairytale has! 🤣
Load More Replies... I know she explained it, but I still don’t get how in a sea of wedding dresses OP was able to notice that this woman was wearing a different wedding dress that she happened to see once hanging in a closet. I guess that some people have an eye for that, but I’m also thinking that OP never really liked this woman (justifiably from the sound of it) and was looking for a little axe to grind.
I don't think you're an a*****e but I don't think she was totally out of line, as she really did what you asked her to
Wait, what? You asked everyone to wear their best, fanciest wedding like clothes to your wedding themed wedding, right? Then when your groom's ex wears the dress she was going to wear for their wedding, that didn't happen, you got all pissy. WTF? You have no one to blame in this scenario. She did exactly what you requested, regardless of whose or which wedding the dress was originally destined for, it was a wedding themed event and her fanciest dress. She is married to someone else and you are now married to your husband, let it go and move on. To continue to fixate on your own faux pax will only create further unhappiness for you. Get a grip 🙄
By the way the bride described "Kate" and her actions, I would guess that she wanted to upset the bride on her wedding day, especially since Kate knew that OP knew it was supposed to be the dress for the wedding to OP's husband. On the flip side, it could just be the only chance she'd ever have to wear the wedding dress her father bought for her, who passed early on in her life. It could also be both.
Why the heck would OP even notice what anyone else wore to her wedding, much less ruminate over it long after the event? Did she have nothing better going on that day? Nothing else to pay attention to?
Lol my thoughts exactly. I imagine his name is Harold and OP just lacks imagination.
Load More Replies... Well, I'm going against most but I disagree with people who had a problem with it. First of all, I was engaged in 1991 and I still have that dress and it has absolutely nothing to do with any feelings for the person I was engaged to at the time. You said yourself they have minimal income between them and that her father that passed bought it for her. I think it made perfect sense for her to wear that dress. admittedly it was nicer than the one she wore for her own and why not put it to use. you told the guests to wear their best, so he be did just that. I think it could have also held sentimental value in that her dad bought it for her. I think it shouldn't have bothered you since she did not break the dress code or anything. You got your guy, you invited her, she wore what was within the guidelines of what you asked the guests to wear and you shouldn't be bothered or worry about why. Could it be for spite? Maybe,but could also be for practical or sentimental reasons, why guess?
Though Kate sounds like a horrible person, I'm siding with her on this one. I think the OP and her husband sound like cool people, but I don't even get why it bothered her. And if they're just going to let it go, why bring it up on here anyway? She told people to wear their wedding dress and chances are Kate has always wanted to wear that one. No biggie. I had someone show up to my wedding in the most ridiculous outfit ever and I didn't give a flying f*ck. He seemed comfortable and happy. He wasn't in the wedding party so it didn't matter.
I really think OP is nice and the "friend" knew exactly what she was doing. Yes OP left it vague enough for the "friend" to pull a stunt like this, but the friend has a history of doing s****y stuff with juuuust enough leeway to spin it into an "I'm so innocent and confused!" moment. Sounds two-faced, manipulative and exhausting. Glad OP and husband are cutting her out of their life and OP is cool enough not to return the petty.
They definitely need to cut the manipulative b**** out of their lives. However Kate was not wrong; she understood and followed the assignment EXACTLY as instructed. "Wear your BEST CLOTHES. LADIES, TRY TO OUTSHINE ME! You can EVEN WEAR YOUR WEDDING GOWN!" Kate owned two wedding gowns one of them given to her by her dead father. A beautiful gown that she was never ever going to be able to wear anywhere ever... Until, receiving that wedding invitation. There seem to be many reasons for OP and her husband to cut Kate out of their lives. But her choice of ballgown is NOT one of them.
Load More Replies... If the dress was so special to her, why didn't she wear it to the wedding with her husband instead of a different one.
Because it was meant for a different marriage. A bit of superstition perhaps. Or maybe her husband didn't want to marry her in a dress she was originally going to wear to marry someone else.
Load More Replies... I agree that op is at fault here, as her wording of "best dress" and "wear your wedding dress" kinda lead to her wearing her better wedding dress, but... its still tacky to wear a dress intended for the groom at the grooms wedding. I have to wonder what her husband thought of her wearing a dress intended for another man AT THAT MANS WEDDING.
I don't know why the bride is complaining; she got EXACTLY what she asked for. Yes, what Kate wore was weird, but her behavior is what's more troubling. She & her husband do not NEED to be friends with Kate anymore, seriously. They need to end that fake friendship... immediately! I don't let any of my friends talk s*** about my husband and he doesn't let any of his friends talk s*** about me. And how pathetic for Kate. She's sitting there in her old but unworn wedding dress watching you walk down the aisle to marry the man of HER dreams? How humiliating!
You sound thoughtful and lovely and it sounds like you found a great man to partner with. While you were the one to throw down the challenge, I think the best of us would have felt the same. Your husband seems awesome! Thoughtful and understanding and noticed what she had done, but took your cue to not make a big deal of it, he was focused on you and your feelings and that is priceless, he's a keeper! Keep focusing on each other and your future, good luck!
First I would absolutely LOVE to be invited to a wedding like this! I haven't been married but would go out and buy the fanciest dress I could find. But I think the person most insulted here is the ex's husband, poor guy. To you it's just a dress. And if anything it demonstrated that you won the guy! She should be embarrassed to emphasize that publicly. I hope otherwise everything was perfect for you. Your husband seems supportive and will probably end up cutting this nutcase out of your life.
What is with people inviting exes to their weddings? I just don't understand this. I would never invite any of mine regardless of friendship. Nor would I accept an invite regardless of friendship. There's always going to be something that happens to upset someone somewhere. Someone please help me understand!!
Well if the couple is truly friends with an ex then they should be invited to the wedding. You can't invite all your friends to the wedding (especially mutual friends) and then cut off the one that you used to date while still claiming to be friends with them. Either you ARE just friends or you are NOT just friends. If inviting your ex to your wedding is THAT WEIRD then it's just as weird to even BE their friend in the first place.
Load More Replies... When OP described her idea fir her wedding, all I could hear was "As the world falls dooown 🎶"
I really wanted to comment to give major kudos on the theme and such a fun healthy attitude on your day! She was being passive aggressive and definitely going beyond your instructions to outshine you. Whether it’s confusion about the road not taken or she has real feelings, she doesn’t want to let go of your husband. It’s good that he’s making that clear
Continuing.... If she treats you this way, she's in the mud and wants you in the mud with her. She's not happy and doesn't want you, or him happy either. Which brings me to my last question. Why does this bother you? You seem like an amazing person, and why thus would bother you is crazy. The only way she can bring you down is for you to care about what's he says and does. She's a piece of s**t, and ypur so much better. Don't pay any attention to her, and if you do, ask her why she's so jealous. Throw it at her and watch her turn red, then smile and walk away. If you would like to answer, I would be excited to hear your response. Your awesome.
This post is a little old, but I just came across it. This might be a little long and I apologize for that. But I would love to ask OP a couple of questions. Please don't take offense. Didn't you ask for this? Ypu asked everyone to out shine you. Weather her motives are malicious or not, you did ask everyone to wear the nicest thing they had. So why would she be singled out? There's obviously some jealousy coming from her. She definitely can't let go. But that brings me to my next question. Why didn't you have some fun with this? You seem so sweet and fun. Just the fact that ex's are welcome in ypur world with you and your husband is awesome. That makes for a great friend group. My wife's ex is one of my best friends. He's uncle Joe to our kids. I pretty much raised his son, and he was always there for support. He's definitely not dad material, but does live his son, just doesn't wanna be tied down. Sorry, but no judgment here.
Why didn't she wear the dress her dead dad got her to her wedding to her husband?? That's the weird part for me. Why does she own two wedding dresses? If her dad was dead by the time she married her husband, surely she'd want to wear a dress with connections to him, so it's like he could be there with her. As well as the implication it was nicer than her actual wedding dress? It said it was an amicable split too and it clearly fitted so like why would she not wear it? So weird. I don't get it
Feeling sorry for Jarold the ex's husband... and amazed anyone could fit their wedding dress years later
Ok, I'm just here to say I'd decline this wedding invite in a New York minute. I absolutely hate dressing up and this whole event sounds like a nightmare.
Op brought this on herself. I mean she could have potentially tried to dye it... but why if op said wear a wedding dress or a princeas dress and do your best to look fab... she did. She didn't think out her instructions well or she is just jealous. Was husband jealous of her former exes shiwing up looking great at a their wedding? No. Op is the one insecure in their relationship
OP, let it go. Your husband loves you and validated your feelings. As you cross other marriage milestones, this incident will become less and less prominent. Don't give Kate "power" by publicly venting about it. Anyone who mentions it is looking for a response...ignore it and it'll die down.
Your issue seems more with the woman than her wedding dress she wore. Yep one could make an argument that the choice of her dress was sending a message as stupid as it was, given the context of her treatment of you. And given her self confessed torch for your husband. I applaud you for giving your guests their princess moments and very generous of you. I hope you complimented her on her choice of dress cause that would have neutralized her negative intent and mute her desired outcome at your wedding. And continue to have a fun time. She doesn't have to be part of your lives in any sense, even in a small town. Be polite when you run into her but don't do small talk. See her as one of the many exes one had before we married our spouses. Take back your personal power, rise above this s"":t and put her in the rear view mirror.
People being people... OP is jealous of the husband's friend and wrote a 10.000 words essay to justify a basic human feeling. Just forget it and move on. Husband also needs to let it go.
Granted, OP did say wear your best dress and it’s OK to outshine her—-BUT she said that with the reasonable expectation that none of them would wear a wedding dress. Most people would never even have that idea cross their minds, much less actually put a dress like that on their backs. I hope the other guests helped make her uncomfortable, from the ceremony to the end of the reception party, for pulling a nasty and mean spirited stunt like that.
She literally told them to wear their wedding dresses.
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