Siblings and relatives tend to help each other out in times of need and trouble, which may include inviting them to stay in one’s home. And yet, it is no secret that sharing the same living space makes people’s attitudes and character more evident, sometimes even putting their relationship to the test.
The same happened when this Redditor’s future sister-in-law temporarily moved in with the couple, but was asked to leave after sharing their wedding cake samples with friends and refusing to replace them or compensate for it. The woman asked if she was a jerk to ask her guest to leave.
More info: Reddit
A man’s sister was staying in the couple’s house, yet was asked to leave soon after
Image credits: Maksim Chernishev (not the actual photo)
The couple was in the midst of planning their wedding and had just received wedding cake samples they were about to test
Image credits: throwawayweddingcake
Image credits: micheile henderson (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwawayweddingcake
The plan took a turn as the woman came back to her fiancé and his sister arguing next to the wedding cake sample box wide open
Image credits: Thomas William (not the actual photo)
It turned out the man’s sister had some friends over and invited them to taste the couple’s wedding cake samples
A woman brought it to the Reddit AITA community after she asked the sister of her fiancé to move out and was called a jerk by his mother.
The man’s sister moved in with her brother and his fiancé due to some relationship issues with her husband. Yet, it didn’t prove to be better at her brother’s house either.
The problem started after the engaged couple purchased wedding cake samples from an expensive bakery specializing in wedding cakes and were planning to test them later with the man’s sister.
Yet, this plan took a turn, as upon arriving home, the woman found her fiancé arguing with his sister while the box the samples came in was wide open on the living room table.
It turned out that while the couple was away, the man’s sister had some friends over and ended up inviting them for some cake samples after one of her friends noticed the box.
The man’s sister was arguing that it was just a cake, to which the woman replied that if so, she should have no problem replacing it.
However, the guest wasn’t willing to at least replace or compensate them for the wedding cake samples, arguing that the price was too expensive for their taste.
The woman asked the man’s sister to leave and the guest only realized she was serious after her fiancé backed the woman up. Yet, after the man’s sister got to her mom’s, the man’s mother called the host cruel for kicking her daughter out in her time of need.
Ironically, the man’s mother was also complaining about her daughter drinking some expensive whiskey that belonged to her father.
The sister argued that it’s just cake and refused to replace it or compensate them, because the taste wasn’t worth the price
Image credits: Sandy Millar (not the actual photo)
The woman asked the man’s sister to leave and he backed her up, yet the man’s mother called her cruel for kicking her daughter out
Hospitality and bad guests were discussed by Julian Pitt-Rivers who described them as ingrates.
Rivers argued that hospitality tends to prevent conflict between a host and his guest by prohibiting offending another party and enforcing respect.
He explains that both the host and his guest must honor each other by considering another person’s desires as well as local conventions. Because certain behaviors, such as inquiring about the health of a spouse or a child may be a requirement of good manners in one place and a faux pas in another.
While both the guest as well as the host are expected to stay respectful, the roles, that of a guest and that of a host, stay distinct. The host is the one who ordains, while the guest is the one who complies.
On the other hand, according to the author, there is a certain general sense that is common for different rules or codes of hospitality found in different traditions and places.
According to Rivers, this general sense can be grasped by taking note of infringements of guests on the host’s hospitality (and vice versa) and these include usurping the role of one’s host by, for example, presuming upon what has not yet been offered, demanding or taking what wasn’t offered.
Coming back to the original story, the post gathered 10.2k upvotes in just four days, and Redditors judged that the woman was not a jerk in this situation and dubbed the sister’s behavior as stealing.
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
I wonder what the strain on her marriage could be coming from? 32 and still acts like an entitled brat, she sounds lovely.
Does "Maya" have expensive tastes on purpose? ("I could use a drink. Screw their cheap gin, I'm having their Courvoisier cognac.")
The expensive one is "special". Dollars to donuts she'd go for twinkies first if they said they were for something special.
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Sounds like "Maya" needs a reality smack up side the head...I mean reality check. lol
Throwing Maya the Thieving Mooch out is the best thing OP and her fiancé could have done. But I wouldn't have given her a cent for gas or anything else. If nothing, Maya should have gotten a bill, with a warning to pay for what she purloined, or end up in court. And for heaven's sake, do NOT allow her or anyone who supports her to attend the wedding. It's almost guaranteed that she (probably with her mother giving her approval) will do something to ruin the day for the bride and groom. Having someone as security would be wise.
I was thinking that security near the wedding cake / wedding gift table would be necessary if Maya is coming to the wedding. She might be one of those guests that help themselves to the wedding cake if it’s not served fast enough for their liking. “But I was hungry. I was craving cake.”
Load More Replies... Am I only the only one thinking that Maya's husband is having a well earned rest?
This story makes you think, that the problems with Maya's husband may have something to do with behaviour like this.
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The real winner in this story is Maya's ex!. OP did the right thing but her MIL dislikes her. The greatest thing is OPs husband supported her.
Does this person have a medical condition where she just cannot help but to help herself to others' goods????
My best guess is a condition brought on by not being told No often enough as a child, but I could be wrong.
Load More Replies... Day-yum! I would have slapped all her c**p up into her suitcase and chucked it out onto the front lawn whilst saying "Byeeeeee!". Day-yum.......
I would have slapped her first--until the cows came home.
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Lmfao... thats such beautiful irony, FMIL 100% deserved it. And obviously dont have the whole story but Im guessing Maya is the problem between her and her husbad.
Ha ! Another spoiled little Princess who thinks she's " entitled " to do whatever she wants. Poor little didums needed her friends to come over to YOUR house and eat all YOUR cake samples. It was good that you chucked her out !
I'd take her to court like that's crazy I would also keep her far away from the wedding
I wonder what the strain on her marriage could be coming from? 32 and still acts like an entitled brat, she sounds lovely.
Does "Maya" have expensive tastes on purpose? ("I could use a drink. Screw their cheap gin, I'm having their Courvoisier cognac.")
The expensive one is "special". Dollars to donuts she'd go for twinkies first if they said they were for something special.
Load More Replies... Sounds like "Maya" needs a reality smack up side the head...I mean reality check. lol
Throwing Maya the Thieving Mooch out is the best thing OP and her fiancé could have done. But I wouldn't have given her a cent for gas or anything else. If nothing, Maya should have gotten a bill, with a warning to pay for what she purloined, or end up in court. And for heaven's sake, do NOT allow her or anyone who supports her to attend the wedding. It's almost guaranteed that she (probably with her mother giving her approval) will do something to ruin the day for the bride and groom. Having someone as security would be wise.
I was thinking that security near the wedding cake / wedding gift table would be necessary if Maya is coming to the wedding. She might be one of those guests that help themselves to the wedding cake if it’s not served fast enough for their liking. “But I was hungry. I was craving cake.”
Load More Replies... Am I only the only one thinking that Maya's husband is having a well earned rest?
This story makes you think, that the problems with Maya's husband may have something to do with behaviour like this.
Load More Replies... The real winner in this story is Maya's ex!. OP did the right thing but her MIL dislikes her. The greatest thing is OPs husband supported her.
Does this person have a medical condition where she just cannot help but to help herself to others' goods????
My best guess is a condition brought on by not being told No often enough as a child, but I could be wrong.
Load More Replies... Day-yum! I would have slapped all her c**p up into her suitcase and chucked it out onto the front lawn whilst saying "Byeeeeee!". Day-yum.......
I would have slapped her first--until the cows came home.
Load More Replies... Lmfao... thats such beautiful irony, FMIL 100% deserved it. And obviously dont have the whole story but Im guessing Maya is the problem between her and her husbad.
Ha ! Another spoiled little Princess who thinks she's " entitled " to do whatever she wants. Poor little didums needed her friends to come over to YOUR house and eat all YOUR cake samples. It was good that you chucked her out !
I'd take her to court like that's crazy I would also keep her far away from the wedding
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