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Lady’s Joy Over Pregnancy Crushed As Best Friend Battling Infertility Turns Cold And Cruel
Having a best friend is a wonderful experience because that person often knows you better than anybody else and sticks by you regardless of life’s ups and downs. That’s why it can be incredibly painful when two friends fall apart or something drives a wedge between them.
This is what happened when a woman revealed her pregnancy news to her best friend, who had been struggling with infertility. Their friendship took a turn for the worse, and the other woman took out her jealousy in the form of incredibly rude comments and jabs.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
Best friends should be able to deal with tough situations together instead of turning against one another
Image credits: Mary She / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster found out that she was pregnant with twins and was worried about revealing the news to her best friend, who was struggling with infertility
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman gently revealed her news to her bestie, but the other lady took it badly and accused her of being “greedy” for having more kids
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the poster had a scare at 14 weeks of pregnancy, her best friend said that it was “karma” and kept saying other rude things to put her down
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The friend even went to the extent of calling her “large” or trying to stop her from posting about her pregnancy to her other friends
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Even though the woman tried to be understanding of her friend’s behavior, she wanted to protect herself and be able to enjoy her pregnancy
Image credits: toastedteddy
The poster didn’t know if it would be right to cut off her friend or if she was being selfish for even thinking that way
When the OP found out that she was pregnant with twins, the news came as a shock to her because she had not planned on having more kids yet. Even though it brought her a lot of joy to think of siblings for her daughter, she felt worried about breaking the news to her close friend, who had struggled with infertility for years.
It’s definitely difficult to bring up pregnancy news to someone who hasn’t been able to have a kid of their own, but professionals state that the kindest way to do it is by sending a text. This can give the other person the space to process their feelings without being scrutinized and respond in their own time.
Even though the OP did exactly that, her best friend’s passive-aggressive reaction left her feeling shocked. The other woman criticized her for having more children and said that she was greedy for doing so when other people couldn’t even have one kid. It’s clear that her insecurities were making her feel bitter, which is why she was lashing out at the poster.
This is not an uncommon situation to face, and pregnancy experts reveal that people struggling with infertility might get triggered seeing their friends have children while they aren’t able to do so as easily. They might also experience feelings of anxiety and depression that can spill over into their everyday lives, which seems to be the case in this situation.
Image credits: Will Esayenko / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It seems like the poster truly did her best to try and protect her best friend’s feelings by informing her beforehand about situations where she would be talking or posting about her good news. Despite that, the other woman kept putting the OP down and expected her to go above and beyond to “hide” her pregnancy.
The friend’s jealousy and insecurity showed up even more through the mean comments she made after the poster went through a sudden medical scare. That’s when the OP must have realized that her bestie was truly struggling and that she couldn’t do anything else to protect the other woman’s feelings.
According to experienced moms, when honest communication isn’t working with a close friend, it’s important to then start setting boundaries to protect your mental health. This might mean closing communication between the two of you for a while, or distancing yourself until there is some improvement from the other person.
The poster was also struggling with the decision of whether to cut contact with her best friend so that she could enjoy her pregnancy, but she also felt that it would be selfish to do so. Although it might seem hurtful to set such a boundary, ultimately it might give both women the space to process their feelings and heal separately.
What do you think would be the right decision for the OP to take in this case? Do share your honest opinion.
People understood that the woman’s friend must be going through a tough time, but they felt that the poster needed to cut her off
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What do you think ?
sweet emotion 1 month ago
The woman's despair has turned her into a vicious witch who is no longer any kind of friend, and blocking her was the best thing for OP's mental health. That the woman is also OP's daughter's godmother is unfortunate, but neither side should count on that relationship going forward either.
Ms.GB 1 month ago (edited)
Friends are supposed to be happy for eachother. I've been in the position of being the the friend that can't have children but to me my bf's children are a blessing! It's nice to be able to be a part of their lives. That's the way I always felt anyways. Maybe I wasn't as obsessed with feeling like I HAD to have children as op's friend seems to be though.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Why would you continue tonbebfriends with someone who openly resents you and your kids? Fair enough being honest about your own disappointment in getting pregnant, and it was really kind of OP to message privately about the pregnancy, but someone who is so selfish they can't be happy for a friend, they are not with another minute of time. I'm not playing down the trauma of miscarriages, but if they are causing you to be cruel to long time friends, you need psychiatric help. This isn't a bad week, this is a long term condition. Even is she's physically well enough to have a child, her mental health is not good enough. She wants a child so badly she can't be around children? She's unstable at best. Glad she's been cut out of OPs life and doubly glad she's to obsessed to think of adoption.
Tyke 1 month ago
The friend needs therapy. Thousands of people can't have kids. I had one, desperately wanted another but I can't... my close friend had two and I'm nothing but happy for her. I know people who have lost a child, and who've lost their only child. Life isn't fair. It is not OP's fault and she did absolutely the right thing.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
Was hoping to see that update. That woman needs therapy because she is clearly not coping and it is beyond the pale to call it karma if they nearly lose a child just because you cannot have one. Obviously that "friend" is going to victimise herself here, if she does, just drop a few screenshots of her hideous behaviour.
Randy Smith 1 month ago
From the sounds of things, the 'friend' isn't emotionally mature enough to raise a child
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Another entitled neurotic that likely would be a horrible mother. She's obviously deranged, to behave as she has, and isn't fit to parent at all.
Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
Listen, I wanted kids and all I had were miscarriages. However, even though it hurt like hell to see friends get pregnant and carry their babies to full term when I couldn’t, I NEVER even thought of being nasty to them for it. My disappointment and frustration were mine to deal with, and not to be dumped on other people. Besides, there are alternatives if you can’t have kids. There are so many great kids out there who need families, either through adoption, surrogacy, or the foster system. If the friend really wants kids, she would find one of those ways to fill her house with them.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 1 month ago
OP tried to handle this with grace. But this supposed friend took it beyond the pale so to that I say fúck that person. I understand that hurt people hurt people but that bítch made it seem as though OP did this on purpose just to grind it into her face. She needs therapy otherwise she's going to not only be left childless but friendless.
Julia Cargile 1 month ago
Your friend has serious mental issues. You DO NOT want her around your children. May God bless you and your delivery.
sweet emotion 1 month ago
The woman's despair has turned her into a vicious witch who is no longer any kind of friend, and blocking her was the best thing for OP's mental health. That the woman is also OP's daughter's godmother is unfortunate, but neither side should count on that relationship going forward either.
Ms.GB 1 month ago (edited)
Friends are supposed to be happy for eachother. I've been in the position of being the the friend that can't have children but to me my bf's children are a blessing! It's nice to be able to be a part of their lives. That's the way I always felt anyways. Maybe I wasn't as obsessed with feeling like I HAD to have children as op's friend seems to be though.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Why would you continue tonbebfriends with someone who openly resents you and your kids? Fair enough being honest about your own disappointment in getting pregnant, and it was really kind of OP to message privately about the pregnancy, but someone who is so selfish they can't be happy for a friend, they are not with another minute of time. I'm not playing down the trauma of miscarriages, but if they are causing you to be cruel to long time friends, you need psychiatric help. This isn't a bad week, this is a long term condition. Even is she's physically well enough to have a child, her mental health is not good enough. She wants a child so badly she can't be around children? She's unstable at best. Glad she's been cut out of OPs life and doubly glad she's to obsessed to think of adoption.
Tyke 1 month ago
The friend needs therapy. Thousands of people can't have kids. I had one, desperately wanted another but I can't... my close friend had two and I'm nothing but happy for her. I know people who have lost a child, and who've lost their only child. Life isn't fair. It is not OP's fault and she did absolutely the right thing.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
Was hoping to see that update. That woman needs therapy because she is clearly not coping and it is beyond the pale to call it karma if they nearly lose a child just because you cannot have one. Obviously that "friend" is going to victimise herself here, if she does, just drop a few screenshots of her hideous behaviour.
Randy Smith 1 month ago
From the sounds of things, the 'friend' isn't emotionally mature enough to raise a child
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Another entitled neurotic that likely would be a horrible mother. She's obviously deranged, to behave as she has, and isn't fit to parent at all.
Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
Listen, I wanted kids and all I had were miscarriages. However, even though it hurt like hell to see friends get pregnant and carry their babies to full term when I couldn’t, I NEVER even thought of being nasty to them for it. My disappointment and frustration were mine to deal with, and not to be dumped on other people. Besides, there are alternatives if you can’t have kids. There are so many great kids out there who need families, either through adoption, surrogacy, or the foster system. If the friend really wants kids, she would find one of those ways to fill her house with them.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 1 month ago
OP tried to handle this with grace. But this supposed friend took it beyond the pale so to that I say fúck that person. I understand that hurt people hurt people but that bítch made it seem as though OP did this on purpose just to grind it into her face. She needs therapy otherwise she's going to not only be left childless but friendless.
Julia Cargile 1 month ago
Your friend has serious mental issues. You DO NOT want her around your children. May God bless you and your delivery.
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