Vegan Bacon Drives Family Apart And Leaves Woman Conflicted Whether She Should Apologize
Even if you get along perfectly with your partner, it doesn’t mean that you’ll hit it off with their family.
Reddit user Background_Egg7703 thought she had found common ground with her boyfriend’s relatives. However, after she went vegan, a conflict arose with his stepdad during one dinner over their diets. It quickly blew out of proportion, putting stress on their relationship.
In a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ she shared that it got to a point where she no longer knows who is to blame for all of this. Her story illustrates just how important it is to try and stay empathetic towards the people around you.
This woman went vegan and everything seemed fine until one dinner with her in-laws
Image credits: Mariana Medvedeva (not the actual photo)
During it, she and her stepdad-in-law got into an argument in front of everyone about meat eating
Image credits: Cocobols (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jm_video (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Background_Egg7703
Sometimes it seems that vegans and meat eaters have an inherent contempt for one another
Dr. Matt Ruby is a professor at La Trobe University who specializes in the psychology of food choices. He thinks that situations like this one are somewhat common.
“Some people on both sides are very determined to take things personally,” Ruby told Insider.
Recently, the term “vegan” has itself been subject to controversy, as more people opting out of animal products choose to identify as “plant-based” instead to avoid stigma and cultural baggage attached to veganism.
Part of the reason why these conversations are so confrontational is that there is a lot of politics involved.
According to Ruby, food choices reflect not only deep divides in culture and ethics but also shared anxieties about our collective future and identities.
Both sides usually argue that their way is the most natural way for humans to eat
A common argument for (or against) meat-eating is based on how humans evolved, and whether we were meant to be herbivores or omnivores based on our biology and physiology.
When most people argue about dietary choices, they tend to focus on basic principles known as the 4 Ns — natural, normal, necessary, and nice. This means that omnivores look for evidence that meat-eating is ancestrally or biologically appropriate for humans, that it’s important and accepted in our culture, that we need meat (or plant-based) diets for optimal health, and that it’s just plain enjoyable and giving it up would be unpleasant.
In reality, there is no concrete evidence that either a plant-based or omnivorous diet is superior to the other. Most nutritionists and medical experts agree that a balanced diet of mainly whole foods is a healthy way to eat, whether or not that includes some animal products.
While red meat and processed meat have been scrutinized for their role in chronic disease, poultry, seafood, and cheese are generally regarded as fine, as long as they’re consumed in moderation.
It’s important to note that a natural, or ancestral, approach to dieting isn’t necessarily the ideal either.
“I don’t find that particularly helpful — natural doesn’t mean better,” Ruby said. “Earthquakes are natural, black plague was natural.”
Beyond personal preference, however, what we eat does matter for how we perceive ourselves, and how we want other people to perceive us; our diet is a component of our identity.
Hopefully, Background_Egg7703 and her step-dad-in-law as well as the rest of us find a way to sit peacefully at the table.
As people started reacting to the woman’s story, she joined the discussion in the comments section
Many said that she did nothing wrong
But some believe that everyone involved could’ve handled things better
I was full on ready to say NTA, it's ridiculous to make such a fuss about vegan food (I myself don't particularly like it, but when with a vegan friend I'll eat it nonetheless), but she's not truthfully translating the German words right. Leichenteile is not body parts (that would be Körperteile), it would mean corpse pieces, and Leiche is also not just body, but corpse. Overall, the word tone is therefore much more aggressive and the used language also more judgemental, so I can see why the in-laws found this a bit unappealing. I still think the whole thing is blown out of proportion, but I'd have gotten annoyed too if I ate some meat and someone comes around to tell me I'm devouring corpse pieces.
More over the word for dead animal corpse in German is "Kadaver". The words "Leiche" or "Leichenteile" are only ever used for human bodys. In other word's: OP used a wrong word on purpose making it sound like FIL was basically a cannibal. I got lots of vegan friends and I got to say if they felt the need to guilt trip me like that, I'd be pissed off too.
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While DIL seems like a handfull OP seems unnecessary confrontational. Leichenteile suggests a lot of guilt tripping and a holier than thou attitude. A simple "we wanted vegan options you can either eat them or eat the non vegan option, we wont force you" would be enough.
... you can get sick of being the polite one in a purposefully hostile environment. There is that type of meat eater who takes the burden of making every place they attend hostile to any vegetarian or even vegan, who tells the same old unfunny jokes that haven't changed since 30 years, and declares every vegan food even hardly resembling anything that may be made out of meat "unnecessary" - "Why make vegan sausage? There already IS sausage!". They spill their wisdoms about any and every option we get, but, although hating strawberries, never take objection that another kind of strawberry icecream is introduced. Being polite among them, at some point, evolves into self-denial. They have it coming at times, like SFIL here.
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When you get into a values-based disagreement with someone and then choose to use the most laden language, of course it's going to escalate, and that's on you. You might think it's just accurate language, but that's (in the logical sense) question-begging. It's like someone referring to killing unborn children in an abortion debate - it reflects what they think is the reality but obviously makes it clear you think the other person's choices are foul. Of course that's likely to cause offence and it's disingenuous to be upset when it does. And that goes double if the person you're talking to is an a*****e already looking for a reason to be offended. It's not about whether *they're* an a*****e, that's not something you can control.
I was full on ready to say NTA, it's ridiculous to make such a fuss about vegan food (I myself don't particularly like it, but when with a vegan friend I'll eat it nonetheless), but she's not truthfully translating the German words right. Leichenteile is not body parts (that would be Körperteile), it would mean corpse pieces, and Leiche is also not just body, but corpse. Overall, the word tone is therefore much more aggressive and the used language also more judgemental, so I can see why the in-laws found this a bit unappealing. I still think the whole thing is blown out of proportion, but I'd have gotten annoyed too if I ate some meat and someone comes around to tell me I'm devouring corpse pieces.
More over the word for dead animal corpse in German is "Kadaver". The words "Leiche" or "Leichenteile" are only ever used for human bodys. In other word's: OP used a wrong word on purpose making it sound like FIL was basically a cannibal. I got lots of vegan friends and I got to say if they felt the need to guilt trip me like that, I'd be pissed off too.
Load More Replies... While DIL seems like a handfull OP seems unnecessary confrontational. Leichenteile suggests a lot of guilt tripping and a holier than thou attitude. A simple "we wanted vegan options you can either eat them or eat the non vegan option, we wont force you" would be enough.
... you can get sick of being the polite one in a purposefully hostile environment. There is that type of meat eater who takes the burden of making every place they attend hostile to any vegetarian or even vegan, who tells the same old unfunny jokes that haven't changed since 30 years, and declares every vegan food even hardly resembling anything that may be made out of meat "unnecessary" - "Why make vegan sausage? There already IS sausage!". They spill their wisdoms about any and every option we get, but, although hating strawberries, never take objection that another kind of strawberry icecream is introduced. Being polite among them, at some point, evolves into self-denial. They have it coming at times, like SFIL here.
Load More Replies... When you get into a values-based disagreement with someone and then choose to use the most laden language, of course it's going to escalate, and that's on you. You might think it's just accurate language, but that's (in the logical sense) question-begging. It's like someone referring to killing unborn children in an abortion debate - it reflects what they think is the reality but obviously makes it clear you think the other person's choices are foul. Of course that's likely to cause offence and it's disingenuous to be upset when it does. And that goes double if the person you're talking to is an a*****e already looking for a reason to be offended. It's not about whether *they're* an a*****e, that's not something you can control.
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