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It’s a given that when you are in a serious relationship, your partner is supposed to have your back, no matter what. However, imagine they simply bail on you, even after knowing that you need them by your side. Sounds pretty hurtful, doesn’t it?
Even this guy planned to surprise his family at the same time when his girlfriend had a “minor” surgery scheduled, and even extended the trip. Of course, she got angry as the doctor had cautioned that someone needed to look after her for at least 3 days, but then, he accused her of being dramatic!
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
In serious relationships, it’s obvious to expect your partner to have your back, but some just don’t care
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s girlfriend had a tonsillectomy and turbinate reduction surgery scheduled at the same time, and he promised to look after her
Image credits: Bitter-Pie-6439
Image credits: yaroslav-astakhov- / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, he suddenly planned a surprise visit to his family, and even extended his trip, so she was angry that he missed her surgery
Image credits: Bitter-Pie-6439
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even the doctor had specifically told her that she needed someone to look after her for 3 days, and she couldn’t believe her boyfriend bailed
Image credits: Bitter-Pie-6439
He called her “dramatic” for getting angry, and his family also accused her of coming between them and him
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) was deemed a massive red flag by netizens because of what he did to his girlfriend of 8 years. The thing is, she gets tonsillitis quite frequently and also has swollen turbinates, which cause her a lot of pain. That’s why she had a tonsillectomy and turbinate reduction surgery scheduled at the same time.
The doctors had cautioned that someone needed to take care of her afterwards for 3 days, so OP promised that he would be there for her, and even took leave from work. However, since his project got canceled, he suddenly decided to surprise his family, since they had moved. Now, the fellow went on a 4.5-week-long trip, and he was supposed to come back home on the day after her surgery.
His brother couldn’t get a leave out of the blue, so he asked the poster to extend the trip for 5 weeks, and the man willingly agreed. He claimed that he had his tonsils removed when he was 8, so she could easily manage it as well. The poor woman must have felt so bad that he was breaking the promise, and simply lost it as he thoughtlessly extended his trip.
Instead of looking at things from her perspective, the poster accused her of being “dramatic,” and his brother also called her “selfish for coming between him and his family”. Ugh, they sound outrageous, don’t they? In fact, the poor woman’s mom had to call the poster and ask him to go and take care of her, and even netizens gave him a harsh reality check after he vented online.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
What he did is a clear violation of her trust, as he just broke the promise he made without even thinking about how it might impact her. Research says that once a serious promise is broken, the partner can feel so betrayed that they might develop trust issues in the future. Of course, the woman will think twice before trusting him with something so important ever again.
Besides, the way he just dismissed her anger as being “dramatic” also seems pretty problematic. Even experts stress that such emotional invalidation can cause deep emotional pain to the victim. They further elaborate that the person may feel lonely, worthless, underconfident, and helpless, and they might develop mental health problems.
Moreover, he also dismissed her physical pain by claiming that he had his tonsils removed when he was 8, and it wouldn’t hurt so much. Studies clearly indicate that recovery is more difficult for adults than children, so it was pretty heartless of him to say so. Also, when his brother called her “selfish” for coming between the family, he just blindly sided with them without a thought.
People were flabbergasted that her mom had to call him and tell him to look after his own girlfriend, when he should have just done it naturally. Many labeled him as an awful boyfriend, and I must say, I agree with them. What about you? What would you do if you were in his girlfriend’s shoes? We would love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to drop them in the comments below!
Netizens had no sympathy for him and even called him a red flag for breaking the promise that he made to his girlfriend
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What do you think ?
sweet emotion 1 month ago
Original post is 4 years old. Hopefully by now Stacey has replaced this selfish (p)rick with a real man who is considerate and respectful.
TCW Sam Vimes 1 month ago
Man, I wouldn't dream letting my wife go through surgery alone, even if it was the smallest thing. What an AH
Tyke 1 month ago
He has no idea how she will react to the general anaesthetic. Antibiotics (if she has them) post surgery can also mess with you, I get insomnia and bouts of dizziness. He is an absolute ars3 and frankly this would be a huge red flag for me.
Marnie 1 month ago
Yeah, I just had outpatient laproscopic surgery for a small hernia. I had to be driven back into the ER later because my bladder was still anesthetized and I couldn't pee. Your bladder could burst. Does OP thinks his wife should driver herself back if there is an issue (or pay thousands for an ambulance)? FYI, I also had terrible insomnia after that surgery. I always assumed it was due to the anesthetic, but when I've mentioned that to doctors, they p*o-p*o it. (My lovely ex-husband decided to wake me up 30 minutes after I FINALLY fell asleep the afternoon on the day AFTER the surgery to ask me a question. Then I couldn't fall asleep again until I think it was some time early the next morning. I was close to hallucinating by then.) Hope you recovered well!
Load More Replies...
Paul C 1 month ago
Good on the YTAs today. Nobody knows how each individual body will react to the anaesthetic yet alone the actual surgery, which can be delayed rather than immediate. Many hospitals won't discharge someone unless they know they have support in place. I just can't imagine how insensitive and uncaring someone has to be to think going off to their relatives at this time is the right thing to do.
JB 1 month ago (edited)
Chronic tonsillitis as an adult is awful. Just like OP’s GF mine would flare up every 3-4 months from 18-21. The last bout was so bad I spent a week bedridden and the only thing I could consume was water. Most of that was vomited up within minutes of taking a couple of sips. The tonsils would turn green and black, literally rotting in my throat. My GP at 18 was against adult surgery for tonsils, so he prescribed a year’s worth of amoxicillin at a time… with refills. I’m now resistant to amoxicillin and have to take stronger antibiotics if I need them. Don’t think too harshly about doc, this was back in the 80s when it wasn’t common knowledge that constantly taking antibiotics built up resistance. Anyway, at 21, having gone through yet another round of infection I had had ENOUGH! I went to my new GP, explained the situation and said I want them out. Dr MacGregor (great guy) booked me straight in for the next week. The funny part is they put me in the children’s ward with the other patients (kids) who were there for a tonsillectomy. Those wee būggers bounced straight back. I had to spend two days in recovery. So, this guy is a major AH.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago (edited)
YTA. Are you familiar with the concept of "empathy" ? Try that.
marianne eliza 1 month ago
An adult tonsillectomy is painful. I couldn't even swallow the liquid pain meds for a couple of days. Besides, tragedies happen in the OR every day.
sweet emotion 1 month ago
Original post is 4 years old. Hopefully by now Stacey has replaced this selfish (p)rick with a real man who is considerate and respectful.
TCW Sam Vimes 1 month ago
Man, I wouldn't dream letting my wife go through surgery alone, even if it was the smallest thing. What an AH
Tyke 1 month ago
He has no idea how she will react to the general anaesthetic. Antibiotics (if she has them) post surgery can also mess with you, I get insomnia and bouts of dizziness. He is an absolute ars3 and frankly this would be a huge red flag for me.
Marnie 1 month ago
Yeah, I just had outpatient laproscopic surgery for a small hernia. I had to be driven back into the ER later because my bladder was still anesthetized and I couldn't pee. Your bladder could burst. Does OP thinks his wife should driver herself back if there is an issue (or pay thousands for an ambulance)? FYI, I also had terrible insomnia after that surgery. I always assumed it was due to the anesthetic, but when I've mentioned that to doctors, they p*o-p*o it. (My lovely ex-husband decided to wake me up 30 minutes after I FINALLY fell asleep the afternoon on the day AFTER the surgery to ask me a question. Then I couldn't fall asleep again until I think it was some time early the next morning. I was close to hallucinating by then.) Hope you recovered well!
Load More Replies... Paul C 1 month ago
Good on the YTAs today. Nobody knows how each individual body will react to the anaesthetic yet alone the actual surgery, which can be delayed rather than immediate. Many hospitals won't discharge someone unless they know they have support in place. I just can't imagine how insensitive and uncaring someone has to be to think going off to their relatives at this time is the right thing to do.
JB 1 month ago (edited)
Chronic tonsillitis as an adult is awful. Just like OP’s GF mine would flare up every 3-4 months from 18-21. The last bout was so bad I spent a week bedridden and the only thing I could consume was water. Most of that was vomited up within minutes of taking a couple of sips. The tonsils would turn green and black, literally rotting in my throat. My GP at 18 was against adult surgery for tonsils, so he prescribed a year’s worth of amoxicillin at a time… with refills. I’m now resistant to amoxicillin and have to take stronger antibiotics if I need them. Don’t think too harshly about doc, this was back in the 80s when it wasn’t common knowledge that constantly taking antibiotics built up resistance. Anyway, at 21, having gone through yet another round of infection I had had ENOUGH! I went to my new GP, explained the situation and said I want them out. Dr MacGregor (great guy) booked me straight in for the next week. The funny part is they put me in the children’s ward with the other patients (kids) who were there for a tonsillectomy. Those wee būggers bounced straight back. I had to spend two days in recovery. So, this guy is a major AH.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago (edited)
YTA. Are you familiar with the concept of "empathy" ? Try that.
marianne eliza 1 month ago
An adult tonsillectomy is painful. I couldn't even swallow the liquid pain meds for a couple of days. Besides, tragedies happen in the OR every day.
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