Student Gets In Trouble For Her Natural Hair Color Defying Schools Dress Code, Maliciously Complies By Dyeing It
Interview With AuthorOne of the most annoying things in life (and I’m sure you’ll agree, dear Pandas) is having to deal with smug and arrogant jerks who think they’re the bee’s knees and right all the time, despite the exact opposite being true. And if they’re working in the school system, you can bet that they’ll put a lot of unneeded stress on their students.
A redditor, who told Bored Panda that they want to stay completely anonymous, shared an in-depth story about what happened to their cousin, who is a senior in a private Christian high school. Naturally, some schools have very strict rules and policies related to dress codes. However, there are limits to this and it seems that some school staff might have lost their common sense somewhere along their career paths as educators.
The redditor shared how their cousin got into major trouble at school because of a natural patch of white hair that she has growing at the front of her head. Nobody believed her that it was natural and the school practically forced her to dye her hair “back to its natural color.” Scroll down to read the entire story in the redditor’s own words, shared on r/MaliciousCompliance, to find out how things went and ended up. The scientific term for when a person is born with or develops a patch of white or gray hair is poliosis, from the Greek word for gray, pilios. People with poliosis either have no melanin or decreased levels of it in the roots of the affected hairs.
I reached out to the author of the post, to get their opinion about how to act during disagreements with teachers, about when dress codes are reasonable, and why they are strict to an absurd degree in some American schools. They were kind enough to answer my questions but preferred to remain anonymous to protect their identity.
“I was surprised to see how quickly [the post] blew up, but I definitely understand why it did. I think it resonated with people because a lot of people feel that dress codes, in general, are too strict and biased and because for this particular issue, its a case of the school demanding a student to literally hide part of who they are, on the grounds that their natural appearance is too ‘extreme,’ ‘distracting,’ and ‘faddish,’ they told Bored Panda.
According to the author of the post, the intent behind having dress codes is to prepare kids and teenagers for what to expect when they’re all grown up and looking for a job.
“I think the strictness varies based on where you live, in order to conform to the general attitude of people in that area. If most of the people in that area are ultra-conservative, they most likely will want to instill those same values onto their kids, therefore, you will find that the dress codes at the schools in those areas are stricter,” they told Bored Panda. “For example, in my area, there is no restriction on male students having long hair. But there was an entire school district in Texas that made headlines a while back for imposing hair restrictions for male students. Private religious schools often have even stricter rules than public schools, such as not wearing anything that, in their view, promotes ‘devil worship’ or what have you.” Scroll down for the full interview about “ridiculous, cruel rules” that some school staff enforces because they’re “on a never-ending power trip.”
The teachers at a strict Christian school thought one of their students was lying about having a lock of naturally white hair
Image credits: anouchka (not the actual photo)
Here’s the full story, as told by the student’s cousin
The redditor later gave some extra context about what the school dress code is like
The author of the post told Bored Panda: “And then you have teachers, principals, other school administrators, and what have you who are on a never-ending power trip and make up these ridiculous, cruel rules such as forcing a student to style their hair a certain way because the way their hair naturally grows is ‘offensive,’ either because they were brought up to believe certain things about certain groups of people, or because they are just flat out cruel and sadistic. And if any student(s) go against the rules, it causes a huge amount of distress for them and their families, and reflects poorly on the school if the media puts everything on blast.”
Of course, it’s not all black-or-white. The redditor believes that certain things about dress codes are perfectly reasonable. There have to be some limits to what can be worn, it can’t be a total free-for-all. “For instance, prohibiting students from wearing anything that has hate speech on it seems perfectly reasonable. Not wearing stuff that is too revealing makes sense IF the rules are the same regardless of the student’s sex/gender identity. And speaking of which, no, I don’t think students should be forced to wear clothing that conforms to their assigned gender and should be free to express themselves,” they said.
Here’s an approximate photo of what the author of the post’s cousin looks like, naturally, because she has poliosis
Image credits: rodankersalons (not the actual photo)
“Forcing students to style their hair a certain way because the way their hair naturally grows is ‘distracting,’ ‘extreme,’ or ‘faddish’ definitely is too far. So what if somebody’s hair looks different than most people’s? They can’t help it, and if they already are insecure about it, forcing them to change it will only make them more insecure,” they pointed out that school staff can make students lose confidence in themselves and their identities.
The author of the post firmly believes that educating the people in charge is the first step towards changing how dress code rules are created and enforced. “Have them read articles or watch documentaries that show the long-term effects these overly strict rules have on kids. Do everything it may take to open these people’s eyes to the harm these rules cause. If these people are extremely set in their ways though, this might be a long, difficult process,” they said.
“Another solution would be to vet anyone who wishes to become a teacher, principal, or other school administrator to make sure that their intentions are to teach kids the things they should know about in order to be successful in the world, as opposed to trying to control their lives. And again, in areas that are more conservative, this might be more challenging as a lot of people were brought up to think a certain way about what’s appropriate and what isn’t, and are trying to pass those same values onto their children.”
I was curious to get the redditor’s opinion about how students should react if they’re ever accused by their teachers of something that they know for a fact isn’t true. The redditor was very open with Bored Panda that the topic of settling disputes with school staff is “very dificult” to answer because they’ve been a victim of this sort of treatment multiple times from several school authority figures. These experiences have left a mark and the redditor still thinks about them to this very day, even though this happened years ago.
“It really depends on the thing they are accused of doing,” they said. “For having a natural patch of hair that’s a different color from the hair on the rest of your head, being punished for it and forced to hide it is insane and totally uncalled for. For things such as a student doing something that is against the rules for a legit reason, the punishment should fit the crime. And speaking of crime, I think that a student being accused of doing something at school that they deny should be an opportunity to educate them about the way the justice system in America works (or is supposed to work, as we all know there’s plenty about it that could be fixed),” they told Bored Panda.
“If a teacher accuses a student of doing something, the student denies it, and there are other students who can back them up, I think those other students’ accounts of what happened should be taken into consideration. But I’ve also been a victim of other students accusing me of things that I didn’t do, and the principal flat out refused to hear my side of the story. That is wrong. Just as a judge in a courtroom hears both sides of the case before reaching a verdict, I believe teachers and especially principals should hear both sides of the story before deciding whether or not to punish anyone. And like I said, the punishment should fit the crime, which it often doesn’t.”
None of the school staff believed the high school senior when she said that she’s always had a patch of white hair. It took her dyeing her hair, the white regrowing near the roots, and her parents showing up with family albums at the school, to actually get the staff to change their perspectives. As a result, due to all the frustration, the redditor shared that their cousin will no longer be returning to the private school next semester. Instead, she will be homeschooled.
Previously, I spoke to a member of the Grombre community that celebrates naturally gray and white hair. “We are a group of women from all around the world with different backgrounds and stories but we have a similar approach to society’s standards of beauty which is: “You don’t need to fit in to be considered beautiful,” Abu Michaelides told Bored Panda.
“I’ve always had gray hair since I was a teenager but back then gray hair was associated with older women only, so I didn’t even think of it as an option back then. So I started to dye my hair,” she shared her story.
“As the years went by, it became more and more difficult to maintain. I never really enjoyed spending hours and hours at the hairdressers, but back then it seemed like the only option. In the meantime, my mom’s hair has gone silver gradually and I really admired the color but again it was a ‘mom color.’ So, until a year ago, after spending countless hours and a significant amount of money on my hair I decided to get a pixie cut and stop coloring my hair altogether. It felt like I’ve reconnected with my real self. Best decision I’ve ever made,” Abu revealed to Bored Panda.
“For many years silver hair has been associated with older women. And even getting older is a privilege that’s been given to men. A man with silver hair is considered attractive, but when it’s a woman, well, she’s simply old. And no one wants to be seen as old and unattractive and I understand that,” she said.
“They should [stop dyeing their hair] for themselves to feel free to feel comfortable in their own skin. Once they realize they’re beautiful regardless, people will see them through their eyes too. Silver hair is just like any hair color. If you’re happy with yourself, with who you are, your energy will identify you, not your age and not your hair. Don’t let society make you think you’re not beautiful enough just because you’re different. You’re beautiful because you’re different!”
Here’s what some internet users had to say when they read the story online. Some even have poliosis, too
"Christian school" is an oxymoron. They're religious indoctrination centres meant to brainwash the next generation of Conservative Fundamentalists.
Dress code is a tool of oppression. If you are a girl, you need wear a skirt that might not boost your confidence…. No long hair if you are a boy ( for some reason?). Forget weaves, corn-rows, Afro hair if you are black. Every dress code rule is built around what is assumed to be the norm, and claims that being out of that is wrong. What is the purpose when it applies to kids? Just teaching them that they need to comply to stupid rules whose only purpose is to erase whatever part of their culture or identity. Because what they are is insignificant .
US schools are insane. I've never encountered a dresscode in the 7 schools I've attended in Sweden, nor heard of any. And I grew up in the 'bible belt'. We just follow common sense.,which seems to be missing in the us school system.
The problem is that there is not A U.S. school system... there are many, many, many, many school systems. Pretty much one for every community. Besides this story is about a private school... and a religious one at that.
Load More Replies...If you are THAT distracted and flummoxed by a child's hair that you can't do your job, maybe you shouldn't be an educator.
None of those kinds of "christians" should be around children.
Load More Replies...Same thing happened to my daughter in the UK. It seems that the teachers had forgotten what she looked like over the summer holidays, she has bright ginger hair. She was threatened with various punishments if her hair wasn't back to her natural colour. She came home and dyed her hair brown, which confused the hell out of me. She told me why and I went straight to the headmaster, who was also ginger. He kept telling me it was sorted now because her hair was brown. I emailed photos while we were on the phone which clearly showed her natural hair colour. Apparently her tutor was reprimanded for not paying close enough attention to one of his students who had been in his class for the last four years.
"hair could be styled as long as it was clean, well kept, and not styled in an extreme way" yikes. Who decides what that means? Seems like wording to enable racist profiling to me.
Yes that's exactly it. Most fundamental Christian's and definitely catholic religions in the US are run by white supremacists.
Load More Replies...That school is crazy. Even if she dyed her hair bright green, it does not change her ability to learn.
Distracting hair... in an other time she would be called a witch and burn down... caca school.
Why would you even want to keep your child in this kind of school? It's not a "Christian" school. I mean, someone once said "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Mt. 7:1. Apparently that verse isn't part of "their" Bible.
When schools care so much about looks, it's a reason not to attend them.
The teachers and staff always say how it's distracting to other students. It's generally not. The teachers and staff just don't like it. Instead of admitting how they feel, they just assume they know something and will blame the targeted student. There are occasions when the student is in the wrong, but just the same can be said for the teachers also.
To hell with "malicious compliance." If I'm in the right, I'm not complying in any way, shape or form. Period.
Gross. Why would anyone even want to go to this school? Shouldn't they be more concerned with education than the way their students dress?
In my country (Sweden) people would tell the principal to go eat sh#$t. And that would have been true for the last 50 years or so.
I would love natural hair like that. It looks so pretty.
Both I and child have white streak. I have naturally blonde hair so it sort of blends in. They on the other hand have got darker and darker blonde with the white part looking more and more done for effect. Even dyed its paler than the rest...I do wonder what their roots will look like now! People don't really believe me about mine although someone recently took a photo which totally captured it for once.
Head cheerleader, Class President, Valedictorian, Thespian, Band, Straight A student in my senior class expelled for wearing board shorts. Below the knee shorts. Argued that his clothing did not affect his intellect or extra-curricular participations. *He was still the same person. In fact, he had less skin showing than girls in skirts so was it really a distraction?. Dress code eventually relaxed, but after our graduation.
hmm...the school showed a lot of christian 'charity', didn't they? for an ideology that tries to teach that everything that is here is of g-d's purpose they certainly don't believe in genetics which, btw, was first introduced to the world via a monk, mendel.
Great story. Glad she's leaving that school. The manager at a grocery store I shopped at twice a week had a natural white patch of hair in his otherwise dark brown hair. It was really sexy. He was so cute. We flirted a lot but I was married. Woulds coulda shoulda--since my ex was cheating!! Lol!
I (15M) have a brown hair and in the summer I get a small amount of blonde hair on the front. People ask me all the time if it is dyed. I also have gone to Christian schools all my life and none of them have had any problems with dying hair
My friend has a white patch of hair from birth almost. We always called it his “skunk patch”
Unfortunately, there may be unreasonable people in key positions - running businesses - everywhere.
They should sue the school for discrimination for the genetic hair color AND for taking away a boy's prescription transition lenses. This is gross.
Went to a Catholic school. They had the dumbest/racist dress codes. Literally, while girls could get their hair braided on vacations (you know what I'm talking about, they go to the Bahamas n they all get hair wraps n the front of their hair braided. It's some weird "rich white girl" thing..) but then, my two best friends (2 of only 10 black kids in our entire school) had Afros n they were forced to "do something about it" because it was against dress code. so they both got cornrows. the teachers tried to suspend them for defying orders n breaking dress code. Even though it's a protective hairstyle for natural hair. N It's a cultural thing too... not just "I'm a rich white girl who went to the Bahamas" thing... so their mom brought this up.. "the white girls can have braids but the black kids can't, even though it's part of THEIR culture" n it escalated to their family suing the school for discrimination. They did win. Idk how much as this was 15 yrs ago but i still can't believe it.
Why are religious schools and colleges still a thing? Education should be completely secular with no emphasis placed no one religion over another. I have no problem with schools teaching about religion, as long as all religions are taught equally along with the few benefits and many downsides of religions. We do have schools funded by religious organisations in the UK, which I am wholly against, but they do usually seem less extreme than in the USA and they are still held to the same standards and rules as non-religious schools. I am a very firm believer in a secular state and feel that religion should be an entirely private matter and should have no influence on laws or education and that religious groups should receive no money at all received from public taxes. If people want religious schools and places of worship, then the people who use them should pay for them.
I went to high school with a girl with white streaks that ran down on both sides of her hair. This is an inborn trait - her mother and grandmother were just the same! We thought it was pretty cool in those days and she was very attractive! We didn't meet again until we worked at the same job (nursing) she was new i was showing her the ropes and this other nurse (much older) started harassing Her about her hair - no one knows why - we reported her for every tiny infraction she made and she was harassed by management. We eventually told her what we did and why - asked her how she liked it! Her attitude was much improved from then on! This school in this piece borders on Nazism!
I went to a Catholic school in Spain, in an extremely conservative region, and encountered none of this, in fact while i was there it became a fad among some of the cooler guys to die their hair blue or green and if anything some of the teachers actually complimented them on their hairstyles. We also had absolutely no dress codes and could go dressed however we wished. So maybe its not religion in itself and more something extremist and controlling hiding as "traditional"🤷
You are lucky then. I went to a religious school and so did my best friend (a different one). They were openly sexist, racist and homohpobic and only hired catholic teachers. They would skip the law and bribe the inspectors. They were so extremist that we couldnt wear sandals in summer or any kind of shorts (not even piratas) "because your knees are too erotic". Mine was in Valencia and his in Zaragoza.
Load More Replies...If she's a senior, why is she going to be homeschooled next year? Wouldn't she be graduating?
Sorry. I feel very strongly that anybody who sends their children to a religiously affiliated school is a moron. School is more for social development than academia, and children need to learn t accept others.
Where the hell were her parents through all this?? Christian school my a**e. These so called religious schools are an excuse for hiring sad embittered people who dislike the younger generation and make their school lives miserable.
Can you imagine Jesus saying I'm afraid you can't follow me because of your hair colour. Absolutely cannot call themselves a Christian school
L D was kicked out of high school his junior year for having long hair and a beard. Today noted scientist Doctor L D still has long hair and a beard.
WTF Christian school or Communist re-education camp? Damn I hate it when little napoleons like these do s**t like that. This reminds me why people are such sheep and can be totally bereft of self. Thanks to such educators.
I went to a religious girls school that also had strict rules but our staff wasn't crazy. We couldn't dye our hair crazy colours either. But then there was the "year of ombre" where everyone had that gradient brown to blonde hair. The rules didn't clearly state that it wasn't allowed and people had paid money to have it done so they held off on it that year and then let everyone know the rule would change the following year so people had time for their hair to grow back and cut it etc. People were also allowed to change their colour to another natural colour there was one year where everyone returned blonde and it was fine
If it's a new school year, she probably had a teacher she'd never had before. Maybe all other teachers had accepted that it was natural.
Load More Replies..."Christian school" is an oxymoron. They're religious indoctrination centres meant to brainwash the next generation of Conservative Fundamentalists.
Dress code is a tool of oppression. If you are a girl, you need wear a skirt that might not boost your confidence…. No long hair if you are a boy ( for some reason?). Forget weaves, corn-rows, Afro hair if you are black. Every dress code rule is built around what is assumed to be the norm, and claims that being out of that is wrong. What is the purpose when it applies to kids? Just teaching them that they need to comply to stupid rules whose only purpose is to erase whatever part of their culture or identity. Because what they are is insignificant .
US schools are insane. I've never encountered a dresscode in the 7 schools I've attended in Sweden, nor heard of any. And I grew up in the 'bible belt'. We just follow common sense.,which seems to be missing in the us school system.
The problem is that there is not A U.S. school system... there are many, many, many, many school systems. Pretty much one for every community. Besides this story is about a private school... and a religious one at that.
Load More Replies...If you are THAT distracted and flummoxed by a child's hair that you can't do your job, maybe you shouldn't be an educator.
None of those kinds of "christians" should be around children.
Load More Replies...Same thing happened to my daughter in the UK. It seems that the teachers had forgotten what she looked like over the summer holidays, she has bright ginger hair. She was threatened with various punishments if her hair wasn't back to her natural colour. She came home and dyed her hair brown, which confused the hell out of me. She told me why and I went straight to the headmaster, who was also ginger. He kept telling me it was sorted now because her hair was brown. I emailed photos while we were on the phone which clearly showed her natural hair colour. Apparently her tutor was reprimanded for not paying close enough attention to one of his students who had been in his class for the last four years.
"hair could be styled as long as it was clean, well kept, and not styled in an extreme way" yikes. Who decides what that means? Seems like wording to enable racist profiling to me.
Yes that's exactly it. Most fundamental Christian's and definitely catholic religions in the US are run by white supremacists.
Load More Replies...That school is crazy. Even if she dyed her hair bright green, it does not change her ability to learn.
Distracting hair... in an other time she would be called a witch and burn down... caca school.
Why would you even want to keep your child in this kind of school? It's not a "Christian" school. I mean, someone once said "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Mt. 7:1. Apparently that verse isn't part of "their" Bible.
When schools care so much about looks, it's a reason not to attend them.
The teachers and staff always say how it's distracting to other students. It's generally not. The teachers and staff just don't like it. Instead of admitting how they feel, they just assume they know something and will blame the targeted student. There are occasions when the student is in the wrong, but just the same can be said for the teachers also.
To hell with "malicious compliance." If I'm in the right, I'm not complying in any way, shape or form. Period.
Gross. Why would anyone even want to go to this school? Shouldn't they be more concerned with education than the way their students dress?
In my country (Sweden) people would tell the principal to go eat sh#$t. And that would have been true for the last 50 years or so.
I would love natural hair like that. It looks so pretty.
Both I and child have white streak. I have naturally blonde hair so it sort of blends in. They on the other hand have got darker and darker blonde with the white part looking more and more done for effect. Even dyed its paler than the rest...I do wonder what their roots will look like now! People don't really believe me about mine although someone recently took a photo which totally captured it for once.
Head cheerleader, Class President, Valedictorian, Thespian, Band, Straight A student in my senior class expelled for wearing board shorts. Below the knee shorts. Argued that his clothing did not affect his intellect or extra-curricular participations. *He was still the same person. In fact, he had less skin showing than girls in skirts so was it really a distraction?. Dress code eventually relaxed, but after our graduation.
hmm...the school showed a lot of christian 'charity', didn't they? for an ideology that tries to teach that everything that is here is of g-d's purpose they certainly don't believe in genetics which, btw, was first introduced to the world via a monk, mendel.
Great story. Glad she's leaving that school. The manager at a grocery store I shopped at twice a week had a natural white patch of hair in his otherwise dark brown hair. It was really sexy. He was so cute. We flirted a lot but I was married. Woulds coulda shoulda--since my ex was cheating!! Lol!
I (15M) have a brown hair and in the summer I get a small amount of blonde hair on the front. People ask me all the time if it is dyed. I also have gone to Christian schools all my life and none of them have had any problems with dying hair
My friend has a white patch of hair from birth almost. We always called it his “skunk patch”
Unfortunately, there may be unreasonable people in key positions - running businesses - everywhere.
They should sue the school for discrimination for the genetic hair color AND for taking away a boy's prescription transition lenses. This is gross.
Went to a Catholic school. They had the dumbest/racist dress codes. Literally, while girls could get their hair braided on vacations (you know what I'm talking about, they go to the Bahamas n they all get hair wraps n the front of their hair braided. It's some weird "rich white girl" thing..) but then, my two best friends (2 of only 10 black kids in our entire school) had Afros n they were forced to "do something about it" because it was against dress code. so they both got cornrows. the teachers tried to suspend them for defying orders n breaking dress code. Even though it's a protective hairstyle for natural hair. N It's a cultural thing too... not just "I'm a rich white girl who went to the Bahamas" thing... so their mom brought this up.. "the white girls can have braids but the black kids can't, even though it's part of THEIR culture" n it escalated to their family suing the school for discrimination. They did win. Idk how much as this was 15 yrs ago but i still can't believe it.
Why are religious schools and colleges still a thing? Education should be completely secular with no emphasis placed no one religion over another. I have no problem with schools teaching about religion, as long as all religions are taught equally along with the few benefits and many downsides of religions. We do have schools funded by religious organisations in the UK, which I am wholly against, but they do usually seem less extreme than in the USA and they are still held to the same standards and rules as non-religious schools. I am a very firm believer in a secular state and feel that religion should be an entirely private matter and should have no influence on laws or education and that religious groups should receive no money at all received from public taxes. If people want religious schools and places of worship, then the people who use them should pay for them.
I went to high school with a girl with white streaks that ran down on both sides of her hair. This is an inborn trait - her mother and grandmother were just the same! We thought it was pretty cool in those days and she was very attractive! We didn't meet again until we worked at the same job (nursing) she was new i was showing her the ropes and this other nurse (much older) started harassing Her about her hair - no one knows why - we reported her for every tiny infraction she made and she was harassed by management. We eventually told her what we did and why - asked her how she liked it! Her attitude was much improved from then on! This school in this piece borders on Nazism!
I went to a Catholic school in Spain, in an extremely conservative region, and encountered none of this, in fact while i was there it became a fad among some of the cooler guys to die their hair blue or green and if anything some of the teachers actually complimented them on their hairstyles. We also had absolutely no dress codes and could go dressed however we wished. So maybe its not religion in itself and more something extremist and controlling hiding as "traditional"🤷
You are lucky then. I went to a religious school and so did my best friend (a different one). They were openly sexist, racist and homohpobic and only hired catholic teachers. They would skip the law and bribe the inspectors. They were so extremist that we couldnt wear sandals in summer or any kind of shorts (not even piratas) "because your knees are too erotic". Mine was in Valencia and his in Zaragoza.
Load More Replies...If she's a senior, why is she going to be homeschooled next year? Wouldn't she be graduating?
Sorry. I feel very strongly that anybody who sends their children to a religiously affiliated school is a moron. School is more for social development than academia, and children need to learn t accept others.
Where the hell were her parents through all this?? Christian school my a**e. These so called religious schools are an excuse for hiring sad embittered people who dislike the younger generation and make their school lives miserable.
Can you imagine Jesus saying I'm afraid you can't follow me because of your hair colour. Absolutely cannot call themselves a Christian school
L D was kicked out of high school his junior year for having long hair and a beard. Today noted scientist Doctor L D still has long hair and a beard.
WTF Christian school or Communist re-education camp? Damn I hate it when little napoleons like these do s**t like that. This reminds me why people are such sheep and can be totally bereft of self. Thanks to such educators.
I went to a religious girls school that also had strict rules but our staff wasn't crazy. We couldn't dye our hair crazy colours either. But then there was the "year of ombre" where everyone had that gradient brown to blonde hair. The rules didn't clearly state that it wasn't allowed and people had paid money to have it done so they held off on it that year and then let everyone know the rule would change the following year so people had time for their hair to grow back and cut it etc. People were also allowed to change their colour to another natural colour there was one year where everyone returned blonde and it was fine
If it's a new school year, she probably had a teacher she'd never had before. Maybe all other teachers had accepted that it was natural.
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