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58 Real Names That Parents Gave Their Children That Should Have Stayed Inside Their Heads
Remember when kids had normal names? Like Michael, James, Sarah, Michelle or Mark... Nowadays, it seems like new parents aren't just thinking outside the box when it comes to naming their babies, they're burning the box altogether.
Many of us were a little surprised, or even amused, when we found out in 2004 that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin had called their baby girl Apple. Then Elon Musk came along in 2020 and seemingly said, "hold my beer," as he and Grimes named their son X. Just when we were coming to terms with that, the baby's name was changed to X Æ A-Xii. It's pronounced "X Ash A Twelve," in case you were wondering.
I think it's safe to say we may as well accept that anything goes when it comes to naming babies these days. But that doesn't make some names any less bizarre, hilarious or brutal. Bored Panda has put together some of the most "unique" names that kids are being forced to live with, and many might have you appreciating your own boring moniker.
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#1
Are They Dogs? Lmao
RELATED:
#2
This Made Me Giggle Almost As Much As “Robin With A Y”
#3
None Of Us Can Help It. Sorry
#4
My Insurance Came From A Woman Called Rafunzel
#5
Thought You Guys Would Enjoy These
#6
What In The Fine China Wannabe Royalty Is This Nonsense?
#7
Name Origins
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 4 months ago
Compared to some of these, this isn't that bad. Just shorten it to Rae and move on.
#8
Friend’s Daughter, Pronounced (Honesty)
Upstaged75 4 months ago
This poor kid 100% gets called Aw Nasty. 😕 Or they will be once the other children learn how to read.
#9
No Clue Even How You Pronounce This
#10
W'ow
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 4 months ago
OK I'm drawing the line at apostrophes and and accent marks. These are the kind of people who would use Norse Runes if they could.
#11
One Of My Older Cousins Sent This To Me… Im Sorry But Vaselinea??
is vaselinea a tragedeigh? how do i convince her to going back to choosing the name serena.
#12
Lint
#13
Took Me A Second To Realise His Name Was Cross
#14
I’m Speechless
#15
Should I Ask Y?
Upstaged75 4 months ago
Well, X is sometimes pronounced as a Z. Like in Xavier. This still doesn't make sense though.
#17
Do I Tell My Friend?
So my friend (22F) is currently pregnant and she and her partner have been struggling to agree on names. I’ve just been sent these messages with the names they have chosen. At first I thought it was a typo but unfortunately she actually wants to call her baby ‘Equador’. I don’t want to seem nosy or controlling but I feel I’d be doing a disservice if I didn’t say something. Please help!
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 4 months ago
The parents must be Americans. Only people who went through the USA education system wouldn't know that.
#18
Erica
#19
Baby “Sausage”
Robyn Hill 4 months ago
Know why you never heard of this name before? BECAUSE IT’S NOT A NAME, IT’S A BREAKFAST FOOD. I won’t even get into the alternative meaning.
#20
This Can’t Be Real, Right?
#21
One Is Not Quite The Same As The Others
Upstaged75 4 months ago
Did one of the parents have a seizure while filling out Coughangela's birth certificate??
#22
Oh Neaux…
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 4 months ago
"Snow"? Either that or it's from that Futurama episode with the Amazonian aliens.
#23
Local News First Birthday
#24
My Friends Name-Ideas
#25
Ou…
#26
Seen On Facebook
#27
I Snorted
#28
What Will Baby Boy #2 End Up Becoming?
Upstaged75 4 months ago
It's supposed to be Skylar. How awful. He's going to spend his life explaining that. At least until he's old enough to legally change it!
#29
Breaking News From North Korea
#30
How Do I Respond To This Without Being Super Rude?
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 4 months ago
More extra silent letters. Just why? Do these people get paid by the letter?
#31
I Had To Ask If This Was A Joke My Sister Said It Was Not
#32
Poor Children
Robyn Hill 4 months ago
Look. There are just some names that should be off the table, for everyone, forever.
#33
Not Sure If Anyone Has Posted This Here, But It’s A Classic And The World Needs To See It
#34
What?
#35
Not Sure How I Feel About This One
#36
Random Name Generator Would Do These Kids Better
#37
Kamila Is Obviously The Favourite
Roman Arendt 4 months ago (edited)
Their parents are a combination of brother and sister, I assume?
#38
Of All The Names You Could Have Chosen…
#39
Kinkey Has Gotta Be One Of The Worst Names I’ve Seen
#40
Emberlyden
#43
Morgan Presley Named Her Baby Pony Ramone
#46
Hodgkin
#47
Noticed Some "Yooneek" Names At A Place I Volunteered At
NightOwlPanda 4 months ago
Some nations have laws to protect children from this sort of lunacy.
#48
My College Friend And The Very 'Intestinal'-Sounding New Name She Chose For Her Daughter
#49
Yooneese?
Upstaged75 4 months ago (edited)
Anyone else familiar with the Dooneese (Kristen Wiig) skit on Saturday Night Live. That's all I can think of. 😂😂 Link below.
#50
She Did Fall For Him
#51
Tragedeigh Or Cute?
#52
What’s Worse, The Tattoo Or The Name?
#53
One Would Assume She Probably Prefers Being Called Auntie
Upstaged75 4 months ago
My mom's best childhood friend was named Gay Bender. 😁 They were born in the 1940's, so obviously it had a different connotation back then.
#54
No Comment Needed
Bored Jellyfish 4 months ago (edited)
Typo or autocorrect error, I’m guessing. Her name is Demetria according to the picture of the chalkboard, wtih Demi being the diminutive of that name.
#55
Can We Snap People Who Use Their Children As Fandom Adverts?
#56
Her Parents Also Wanted To Prove They Went To School
#57
From Our Local Newspaper's Birth Announcements
Upstaged75 4 months ago
It sounds like Madeline. And compared to some of these horrors it's fairly mild.
#58
The Name Is Everything The Name Isn't
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What do you think ?
Annik Perrot 4 months ago
In France there are laws against that. The registering officer is allowed to refuse à first name if they think it can be prejudicial to the kid. If the parents insist, they can go to trial, but most of the time the judge gives reason to the officer.
Heffalump 4 months ago
I'm inspired: I'm calling my next kid Dyldough (girl) or Phleshlyte (boy). WDYT?
Brain-In-A-Vat 4 months ago (edited)
Have a guess , it begins with M and ends with A . . .
Load More Replies... Annik Perrot 4 months ago
In France there are laws against that. The registering officer is allowed to refuse à first name if they think it can be prejudicial to the kid. If the parents insist, they can go to trial, but most of the time the judge gives reason to the officer.
Heffalump 4 months ago
I'm inspired: I'm calling my next kid Dyldough (girl) or Phleshlyte (boy). WDYT?
Brain-In-A-Vat 4 months ago (edited)
Have a guess , it begins with M and ends with A . . .
Load More Replies...
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