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This actually helped me a lot. I had such intense and excessively strong butterfly emotions when I first fell head over heels in love with my boyfriend. After living together, and a couple years have passed, and life happened, that feeling definitely went away and I mourned it for a lot of reasons. I see people online who have been married years say they still get butterflies and it made me wonder if my love wasn't as special. But when I fell in love it was so strong that I couldn't eat or think. Not very sustainable 😄 This article helped me understand why this comfortable love is a natural progression and still just as fun and beautiful.
I've been with my hubbie for 9 years now, and that heavy chemical reaction of being in love was fun, but the love that comes after is more valuable if you ask me. Yeah sometimes I still get butterflies but it's rare, and I honestly don't miss them all that much. My husband is always there for me and I can rely on him. We always choose for each other. We have kids together and that made our love stronger too. But in every day life it just means accepting each other the way we are, farts and nastiness and emotional baggage included, while trying to grow together. It's just a lot deeper than my brain responding to someone's pheromones 😜
Enjoy that life sally, but you
miss the point of being in a relationship. People mention it exactly for that reason - because there's people out there who, like you, are ashamed of basic bodily functions that everyone has. The point isn't to get into fart contests but simply to not be bothered with your significant other being human. If you are - there's barriers between you.
Also, keeping farts in is majorly unhealthy, just so you know.
Leni: Actually I completely agree with Sally, maybe it's about culture, habits, but for me it's about good manners. As she said, there are things that should be kept private (same goes to the poop in front of each other habit), which doesn't mean that there are any barriers and problems in the relationship. I believe the secret is not only about sharing farts with each other right? And if it's so unhealthy to keep it in, should we then release it wherever we are? No, we go to the bathroom and release it there, that's what this place is for. I wouldn't feel well spoiling someone else's environment, nor I wanna that someone would do it to me (intentionally). But some people might feel differently about it...:)
Why in the world do people have to mention farts when it comes to love in a relationship? As long as you are capable of controlling your bowels, there are things one should only do in privacy.
Thank god I'm not alone!! After nearly 12 years I have to keep reminding my husband that he can't have a Disney romance on repeat for the rest of our lives. It simply doesn't work like that. He seems distressed by the fact that things are "different" - but of course they are! We are different; life is different; the world as we know it has changed a lot since we met. Love - on the other hand - is about knowing that there's is no one else you'd rather have spent those years with. And how much you look forward to enjoying many more years together.
My husband and I have been married for almost 36 years now We definitely do not have too many of those butterfly moments but a comfortable sense of security I know I can always depend on him to be there when I need him. We raised two kids together, one with Aspergers and one with Type 1 diabetes and never once did he leave me to struggle with their issues by myself. We worked through things together A few years ago he was hospitalized with a serious illness and I realized right then how much I would miss him if he was gone. We still laugh a lot together, enjoy a lot of the same music and TV show and talk about our memories as we grow old together. This is what marriage is about people; yes you fight and bicker about stupid things, but he pretty much accepts me the way I am warts and all as I do him. I am a lucky lucky woman. Never once did he consider "cutting and running" when things got tough and nor did I, even there were many times things seemed impossible. Love you Joe.
I wish my bf had your husband's strength. Mine broke up with me on our 9 yr anniversary about a week in a half ago because he misses the butterflies, that he let himself get comfortable and settle. We were awesome together. Made a great team but I guess that didn't matter to him.
My boyfriend and I are in a relationship for almost 5 years. We don't live together because it is out of question now. He does a full time job in a different city where more than half of his money goes in fooding and lodging and I am still a student with 0- very less money. But we meet whenever we can. When he comes home, often it is in a 6-8months lapse, I can't meet him often. Its like once or twice a week and he becomes very sad and angry that I can't meet regularly and if I do, I don't stay for 3-4 hours with him. I have strict parents who always wants me to tell them where I go and by what time I'll be home and with whom I am going. I am a pre medical student and they know it is very difficult path so they want me to devote more time in studies. My boyfriend complains that I am different now, that I don't have that craze which I used to in the beginning. I explain him that there is a difference between infatuation love and mature love but he says that I simply make excuses.
thank you for the eloquent post.
i have been with my now fiancee for 7+ years and been living together for 5+. we are both high stress individuals but we find so much comfort in each others arms and when we are alone in our room we feel truly at peace. but even while we are chilling doing different things we will just glance at the other once in awhile and smile and if our eyes meet we blow each other kisses. its the little things that make love the best thing to ever exist.
How pretty it is!
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