“[Am I The Jerk] For Treating My Adopted Children The Same As My Biological Child?”
Adopting a child is a long process and the parents must meet a lot of various requirements to be considered as adoptive parents. It’s something that a person wouldn’t willingly go through just for fun, so you would expect that they really want this.
In real life, that’s not always the case and parents may not love them as they would their own children. A dad on Reddit was quite perplexed that his wife had these kinds of feelings and didn’t think their adoptive children deserved the same size college fund as their biological son. But because he loved her, he wondered if he should have compromised to make his wife happy.
More info: Reddit
Dad views his biological and adoptive children alike as his kids, but found out that his wife didn’t
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The Original Poster (OP) is a dad to 3 children. One of them is his biological son Ethan, who is 16, and then two adoptive children: Aiden, who is 16, as well as Gracie, who is 12 years old. The adoptive children are actually his wife’s cousin’s kids. The parents were losing custody and the wife asked her husband if they could adopt them, so they did just that 10 years ago. Recently, the parents died and now these kids don’t have another family they can go back to.
While in the post, the OP makes a distinction between his biological son and his adoptive kids, in his mind, there is no distinction and he considers all of the kids his own. On top of that, all the siblings are really close. So when the OP’s mom died and left him a lot of money for inheritance, he decided to distribute it equally towards his kids’ college funds.
The man has one biological son, an adopted son and an adopted daughter, but they are still family as they’re his wife’s cousin’s children
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As Ethan and Aiden are at the age when they are starting to think about colleges, it’s a regularly occurring topic in the family’s conversations. But it seems that it bothers the wife that her adoptive children will have the same college fund as her biological son because then less money is left for herself.
The couple got in such a big argument that the wife left and hasn’t returned for several days without even giving a call. The saddest part was that the kids heard everything and Aiden felt bad that he and his sister were the cause for this argument.
The children’s parents had lost custody for a reason that the dad didn’t reveal and later passed away
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In a reply to a comment, the dad revealed that this favoritism may have been happening for longer than he thought, because Ethan didn’t want her to come back because “Aiden and Gracie don’t need that in their lives.”
Up until this point, the OP hadn’t noticed any unfair treatment himself: “We have never had an issue before. They all get new stuff as and when they need it. She would happily just take Aiden or Gracie shopping if they needed something. There were never at any point red flags for me that she was any less loving to them as she was to Ethan.”
Adopting the children was the wife’s idea and it worked out fine as they became a real family and their biological son has a close relationship with his siblings
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However, a problem occurred when the man’s mom died and left him quite a bit of money, which he decided to put in his children’s college funds
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But now the dad himself isn’t too sure about wanting Ami back either. “I feel that it wouldn’t do the children any good to have her in their lives at the moment. They obviously feel like she doesn’t love them as much. She can’t change what she has done and I have to make sure all of my kids are safe and loved. I can’t trust her with them anymore and I don’t think that’s a safe environment to bring kids up in.”
He was prepared to help her if she really had problems, but scratched that thought when his wife refused any help and left for Canada to live with her mom. She didn’t even say goodbye to her kids and hasn’t contacted them since leaving the first time.
He divided the money into equal parts but the wife thought that their adoptive children didn’t deserve as much money as their biological son
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You could say that it is quite an extreme behavior to leave without saying a word. It’s also unusual because a group of scientists found in their research that parents didn’t favor their biological children over the adoptive ones: “These findings refine, rather than refute, predictions from evolutionary psychology concerning preference for closely related individuals over distant relatives or non-relatives.”
And even though when parents needed to rate their children’s negative traits, they rated their adoptive children higher in behaviors like arrogance and stealing, but they gave the same ratings of their positive traits compared to their biological children. The positive traits included conscientiousness and persistence.
The research also showed that “Raising adoptive children is viewed as a meaningful alternative to raising biological children as it appeals to and satisfies human tendencies to care for infants and young children.”
She also wanted more money for herself and when the man wouldn’t step back, she left home and didn’t contact her family for several days
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Nigel Barber Ph.D., author of Kindness in a Cruel World, also comes to the same conclusion that parents love all of their children equally no matter if they are biological or not. Some studies show that adoptive children are actually treated better.
Theories for that explain that it could be because they need more help as they have more problems at school or had addiction problems. Anthropologist Kyle Gibson says, “In adoptive families, it appears that ‘the squeaky wheel gets the grease.’ Parents invest more in adoptees not because they favor them, but because they are more likely than genetic children to need the help.”
Sadly the children heard the conflict and felt bad for causing arguments between their parents
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In the end, the mom left for Canada and didn’t even say goodbye to her children so the dad doesn’t feel that bad for not taking her opinion into consideration
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It’s a mystery why Ami, who was the one to propose the idea of adopting her cousin’s children, was the one who turned her back on them and had a problem of them being treated equally with her biological son.
But people in the comments were glad that the kids have such a good father who stood up for them and takes care of them. They were also confused why she would behave that way and advised the dad to secure those funds to prevent her from accessing them if she seeks nice things for herself.
What do you think of this story? Have you ever seen this happen in real life? What do you think the dad should do in this situation? Let us know your thoughts and reactions in the comments.
People in the comments thought that the dad was being fair and were surprised by the mom’s behavior given that she suggested to adopt the kids in the first place
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I'm adopted as well, and this enrages me too. This mom is such trash. I hope dad divorces her to get her permanently out of those kids' lives, as she will treat the adopted kids like c**p to their faces at some point, if she hasn't already. My mom treated me like a second-class citizen through my entire childhood (and still does) because I was adopted just to be a sibling to my parents' biological child. Fortunately my dad was great and didn't care I was adopted and loved me equally :)
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The thing is, the adopted kids are blood. Ami’s cousin is their biological parent.
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Wow. Just wow. I hope she gets the help she needs. I'm glad the kids have their dad, he's a stand up guy. I don't think he'll have a hard time finding a new special someone
This man is a wonderful father. I hope he gets a divorce everyone says forever farewell to Ami, and he meets a good woman who comes to love those kids as much as he does. Ami obviously has problems and I would recommend therapy for OP as well as the kids. The kids are very fortunate to have a dad like him.
What really gets me is that the kids are actually HER relatives. Distant, but still HER blood too. Yet she’s acting like they’re not. He and all the kids are much better off without her.
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I married a woman who had 2 kids from her first marriage. We had one together but I always hate the word step son. I usually don't use any prefix with the word son but if I have to ill say bonus kid. Or if I'm feeling cheeky ill say certified pre-owned. The boys think that one is hilarious
"Certified pre-owned" that's awesome and I'm stealing that!
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My adopted mother and her adopted brother grew up in a situation where they were treated poorly in comparison to their biologically born siblings. It messed her up for the rest of her life. Those kids are lucky she's left the household.
I… it… how… What in the blue fúck did I just READ? The woman doesn’t “have issues”, she’s a lunatic! Calling it “having issues” is a bit like saying that John Wayne Gacy “had some anger management problems”! She abandons ALL her children, her biological as well as adopted (because she seems to think it matters somehow, like I said, lunatic) because her husband had the audacity to take adult responsibility and plan ahead for them so she can’t, what, go on a goddamned shopping spree? That’s not “issues”, that’s “severely disturbed”. Holy moly.
She doesn't care about her kids. She cares about that fat wad of cash he inherited. If she cared about her kids, she wouldn't make a fuss about making sure that all of them had an equal college fund and wouldn't complain that she can't spoil herself. Good riddance, and may he and his kids be happy without that toxic anchor.
All children matter. Adopted, natural, all colors, countries, religions. Kids are kids. As the song says, teach them well.
Exactly. Why bother adopting a child if you're not going to treat them like a biological child?
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wow! i am adopted. i have two older siblings that were married and out of the house when my mom remarried. and, yes, they did voice some jealousy about how i was raised to my late mom regarding things they didn't have. mom was a single parent w/kids prior to remarrying which is the reason why. still, they were jealous. but, as far as my dad was concerned, i was/am his. he is now 80, lives next door & has dinner every night with me. he gave me more a comfy life. he gave me unconditional love.
I was adopted, and unwanted. I was reminded on a weekly basis that had I been a boy so much more would have been done for me. I was always introduced to people as the adopted child. At my parents' memorial my uncle barely mentioned me and went on and on about how my son was my parents' pride and joy the "Son they never had but so desperately wanted" I was treated like Matilda from the movie, my whole life "I'm big your small, I'm smart you're dumb, I know better because I'm older, you're disrespectful ungrateful, etc" When you give an 8-year-old a coupon for a McDonald's cheeseburger and all the "family made children" (my cousins) thousands of dollars worth of Christmas presents, yeah they will be upset. Reading this makes me want to punch that greedy biatch
Lsai Aeon, as a parent with 1 biological child and 2 adopted children, I am so sorry you were treated so horribly! Your children are your children, regardless of how they came into the family, and should never be treated differently because of that.
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I just cannot fathom how this woman has behaved!! There has got be something else going with wife that he doesn't know about for her to up and abandon the children, including their biological son! My heart really goes out to him, but it sounds like he is not to broken up about her actions. He sounds like an incredible father. Most people can only wish they had a devoted father/husband like this. I wish him the best!
Seething is not even close to my feelings about this. I have a lot of rude names in my mind for her. You keep being the amazing father you are. You and the kiddos will be 100% fine without the wifey. Wife needs to grow up and husband should keep his focus on himself and the children as he has been. Ami is a giant A$$ who I'm sure doesn't need or deserve a new purse or car. Lawyer up and protect yourself and your children. There are a bunch of great women out there who would love those kids and you. Move on. The 4 of you deserve so much better.
It is infuriating to me to distinguish between biological and adopted children. They are the same upon adoption, hence the changing of the birth certificate. If that is not in your heart, please don’t adopt. I have 3 children, all girls. One was adopted. It doesn’t matter which one as I couldn’t love any one of them more than the others. Of course she knows she was adopted. And she knows it doesn’t make a bit of difference, she is my child. Period.
As an adoptive parent with a biological child, I couldn’t agree more! ❤️❤️❤️
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It is unfortunately, I believe your wife is jealous of your younger children. You may want to research if she was receiving survivor benefits for the younger kids. Also, you may want to speak with an attorney, about her legally and physically abandoning the three children.
waitwaitwait SO SHE wanted to adopt the kids. and they ARE FROM HER FAMILY MEMBER. So they are still HER FAMILY yet she thinks so less of them, that they are ruining her child!? honestly, get a lawyer and get that money protected, get a divorce and keep it no contact, it'll hurt at first but the kids will learn what an awful person she really was, and you'll be better off without her, honestly. i am fuming over the idea that she could be like that >.<
It really, really makes me wonder if she only adopted the kids to look good in front of her family (i.e. her mom, her dad, etc.). If that is the case then she's probably telling her family lies about what really happened. I also wonder if its something worse than that, like what if she was doing taxes or trying to figure out the cost of something and saw that the other 2 kids were causing "less" money so she just turned against them? I hope OP does another update and lets us know.
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We had a prize jerk who somehow became president of the school board of our public school district. His adopted kid and his foster child kid went to public school. The birth daughter was sent to an elite private school. This was only the teeniest one of the many reasons that the voters overwhelming voted him out after one term.
So not the AH the second you adopt a child, he or she becomes your child full stop.
OP it sounds like you're doing right by all three of your children. NTA. Your wife, however...
Simply selfish. No other explanation. He should be glad she's gone.
They are better off without her. I am betting that the adopted children have some stories about how they were treated by her when dad wasn't around. She resents her son being close to one of her adopted children so this isn't just about the money. Absolutely a parent can play favorites without the other parent knowing. It happened to me (and I am not adopted). My father thought my mother was perfect, but he wasn't around when she verbally abused me.
My dad STILL refers to my half-sister as his stepdaughter, not his daughter. Makes me mad. I just simply call her my sister because that is what she is. (I said half-sister strictly for context) Screw this woman. I'm just sorry that this one has such a sad ending. Those poor children. Now they might grow up thinking Mom left because of them. My heart hurts now.
Leave her. Takes all the kids with you. They don't need a parent who ranks their worth. Yuk
Bet she's having some form of empty nest syndrome / jealous of the relationship between the two boys. Probably thinks the one son is pulling the other son away from her and she is left behind
I wonder if there is more going on here. Her up and leaving for seemingly no reason has me suspicious. If that is the case then that is truly awful.
Don't think so. I read this on reddit. It was also her family. The kids were from her cousin, who died and he had set apart enough money for themselves, gave her a big fat car 18 months ago, but she just wanted more money for herself.
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Hmmm, well based on what you say your NTA. So odd she left without saying goodbye to any of the kids and moved to her Mom’s. Are you sure that’s were she is? Did she quit her PT job? I would NOT foot her bills you have enough on your plate. Best to get a legal separation immediately are you will be responsible for half of all her accumulated bills. Although, you could get her on abandonment. Consult with an attorney for your state of residence. Truly sad!
Blood does not make a family, love does. As one who can't have biological children, this sort of behaviour is appalling! That father is awesome in my book!
So she adopted two kids and now she's done with them? F**k her, what the f**k.
She just sounds like a greedy, entitled b***h. My brother was adopted, and he's my brother, pure and simple. We were not treated any differently as kids and we're not now. If you adopt a kid then it's your kid. Sounds like they'd all be better off without her.
I’m blessed with a partner who is part of a mixed up collection of a family. Grandparents who aren’t actually blood relatives, half brothers and half sisters, step brothers, sisters step mums and dads, adopted children, foster children you name it, they’ve got it in their family. The children are not referred to as anything but brothers and sisters, their status is not dependent on DNA, they are loved and they love their family. They get to choose their place in the family, some of the foster children don’t want to be referred to as brothers and sisters of anyone, they have healing to do, they are still family but they are yet to find the place that they are happy with. No one in the family is bothered what or who you are, once you are in then that’s that, we are all equal, we all command the same love and respect. To do anything other than that is to devalue the individuals and wreck a beautiful family.
This is so completely bizarre on the mother’s part….I would love to know if there have been other instances where she has favored Ethan as the biological son and excluded the other 2 adopted children, in the 10 years they have had them. Very strange for her to have been a loving mother to them for 10 years and then all of a sudden doesn’t want the responsibility of providing for them fully now. Poor kids. Nothing worse than a child not feeling fully loved. Makes me wonder….
It was heartbreaking to read that Aiden apologised for causing an argument and that he knows that dad loves him but he isn't sure his mum does. Aiden and Gracie must have been feeling like this for quite a while, so who knows what is being said when dad isn't around. Mum obviously has issues but that doesn't excuse her behaviour and she should have had the decency to sat goodbye to the children. Thank goodness they have a dad like they do. It's probably for the best that mum has taken herself out of their family unit.
My heart aches for the kids and makes me angry at Mom for not sticking by all three of the kids, especially during such a delicate time in their lives. All 3 kids are YOUR kids! I am also adopted and hope the kids know how much you love them for sticking up for them. Mom needs a reality check. One day the kids will be grown and opportunities for repairing the relationship with Mom will be lost.
Hello. Where can I meet a guy like this? The devotion to all three children is breaking my heart. He loves Ami, has a little boy with her. He takes care of everything. Ami's got it made. And then .... her family member can no longer care for 2 children so Ami' s idea is to adopt. Now they are a big wonderful family of five. And I bet there have been so many red flags over the years about Ami. So many but they didn't really stand out until this amazing guy inherited money and decided to open some college funds because they boys have indicated they want to go to college in the next couple of years. And Ami viewed the money like hers. So 1) I am adopted. 2) I am married and have paid for everything. Always. No one is paying my bills. When my parents died ( fyi: they did not refer to me as their adopted daughter and I did not refer to them as my adoptive parents) they left me everything I told my husband- the one who never paid my bills or ..... I am saving this money for our kids.
Con't.... He's had a lot of trouble about that. He's really tried to Ami his way into the account ... but he cannot. There's nothing wrong with him ... if he wants something he can buy it himself. My point, Ami sounds repulsive and this guy is too good for her. So are those kids ... you know the ones he's got in therapy because he's aware that there is something wrong with Ami and it is impacting the children. Dump this dead wood. There are a lot of pieces out there who would like a partner like you. Sorry to be so wordy but bs lime this with adopted.children really passes me off. What was Ami thi king? And I don't need to hear about her reasons or her mental health issues. Sometimes you just need to control yourself when it comes to your children. And earn your own money.
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Well, smh, I'm numb....I just can't believe anything I just read. It was so salacious I couldn't stop reading and now Mercy I'm just numb I hope that you find the love of your life and she never gets s*** she wants. I almost hate her I don't know what just happened and I'm so so sorry that this happened to you and them. F*** man I'm so so sorry. 😩🥴😢😥🤬😡😠😤😱
In biblical times, and some cultures, adopted children are actually more strongly recognized because they were chosen! PS I can't stand it when parents are introducing their children and make a point to say "our adopted" son or daughter to make it clear they are different from the bio ones!! It's like a bragfest that belittles and embarrasses the children! My sister was black in a white family and never once did any of us even imagine doing that! She was our sister and daughter, period!
Adopted children shouldn't be treated bad. They are your children same as biological children
OP. You stay true to yourself and your 3 children. One thought to consider is to take a certain amount and divide it equally between the 3 kids college funds. Take the extra and set it aside for some fun things for you and the kids to do together, create memories. If your able don't forget to set a little aside for future weddings. Your wife has made her choice. There are consequences for her actions and she will have to live with that. Be honest with the kids. Explain she is going to live with her mother, she has some issues to work through. Be honest with them that you don't really understand what these issues include or why it's come to this. Explain you'll be filing for divorce. Anytime they want to reach out to talk to her you will be there for them. Continue reassuring them anytime they need to talk about things you are here for them. I'm so sorry you all are going through this. The kids are lucky to have you as their dad. Attorney to protect each child's money.
IDC what her issues are, this is not the way a mother acts. My oldest isn't biologically mine but he is mine all the same. I can not even imagine saying he gets less of anything than the other that is biologically mine. When i came into his life i agreed to be his mother in every way period.
Also, can I mention the seemingly repetitive nature of some of these AITA posts? "I got money, so-and-so called me TA for being generous with it. Am I TA?"
Honestly, id have recommended cutting ALL the college funds in half. Equal treatment all the way around. But wifey wants some money? Wifey gets some from all the kids, not just the adopted ones, so she can see she's hurting "her kid" as well. (Please note the quotes, as thats how she saw it).
Or dont cut any of them because its OPs inheritance and he wants the kids to have it not the wife.
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And did I read that she wants a new car and a "big flashy holiday" Instead of saving for her children's education? I think Dante could create a new circle of hell for this woman.
She is the worst kind of person. How could she do such a thing? I wouldn't treat people I hated like this, let alone my family. Some will blame it on a mental disorder or chemical imbalance, but it sounds to me like she is just a Bad person, bad mom, and needs to be as far away from this family as possible. Dad on the other hand seems like the best kind of person.
Divorce this cruel woman and take full custody of all of YOUR children! This made me cry for you and your children. I am so sorry, I cannot understand how she could feel this way. These children are from her side of the family. I commend you for being such a kind and loving man, they are so lucky to be with you. Best of luck
I think she met someone else in Canada..it just seems so sudden and not wanting anything to do with the kids really weird.. LOVED THAT OP SAID DNA DOESN'T MAKE THEM ANY LESS MINE 💞
I have to say that I am so proud of OP for sticking up for his kids, and overlooking their "imaginary ranking system" that his wife apparently viewed them having. She is apparently extremely selfish, and OP should have seen signs of this a lot sooner. It's not something that just blossoms out of nowhere, after all. This post reminds me of an article I read once where this couple were struggling to have kids, so they adopted an infant daughter. They created a college fund for her and had it all set up for her to go to school. However, the mom got pregnant, and suddenly everything changed. They took the entire fund away from their first (adopted) child and gave it to their biological child, and suddenly treated their oldest as if she wasn't wanted anymore. That infuriated me to my core. How dare people be like this? Though a biological child may be born from your womb, an adopted child is born from your heart. Always remember that.
Definitely, Not. The discussion really isn't about treating them the same. That's very loving and exactly what a parent should do without question. What changed , here?? Why is your wife being so indifferent? It's easy to put attention on things that maybe have some patches to smooth out, and avoid the real elephant in the room. Adopted or not bad parenting is just bad. Find out what the real issue is. She knew where it would offend you the most to grab your attention. Clearly, it worked. Nevertheless protect those innocent kids. And confront her on the real problem, you may require lawyers. In general I dislike anyone who is abusive towards kids, teens and young adult children. It is a parent's job to strengthen and encourage perseverance. It helps deal with stress they will in no doubt face. Good luck, don't give in and document as much as you can and have kids do the same, facts always mach up. You have some work ahead of you.
Dad is definitely NTA while Mom is definitely TA. She didn't get what she wants and sulked like a child. I just hope she doesn't have another lover back then. No worries, everyone will grow old. And in the older days, who will stand by you? I can imagine Dad will be surrounded by the children and grandchildren while Mom? Probably left alone.
I'm trying to very hard to hold back from the names that I want to call your wife, and the opinions that I want to share about her, but I will say that she isn't a mother. A mother doesn't abandon her children, or see them as different in any way, their her children weather they come out of her womb, or not, and she doesn't up, and leave without staying in touch, visiting, having them visit, and she says " Good Bye. " I had to leave my daughter in Georgia to go to the States, and I was holding her at the airport, and she was crying, and I was crying, and I didn't want to go, but I had to. I called my partner, and checked on her all the time, and they sent me videos of her to watch, plus we exchanged letters about her. When I got back, the first place that I wanted to see was my daughter, and she ran up to me yelling " Mommie!" Your wife is something, what I don't know, but I can think of a few unkind things to call her,and to say about her.
So he works full time and pays for everything for the family and she works part time and keeps the money - and then gets resentful because she wants "nice things" and can't afford them if he is (quite rightly) supporting all three kids through college. Entitled much? If she wants more money she can get out and earn it for herself! Well done to this guy for standing by his kids - because they are ALL his kids. His wife (now ex?) is a vile selfish idiot.
I had a biological child when my wife and I met (my 1st wife died of cancer when our son was almost 5 months old; he’s now 22 years old). Incidentally, his name is Ethan and my wife’s name is Amy. Amy had no qualms about adopting Ethan. We had infertility problems, so we adopted 2 kids at birth, now 17 and 15. We don’t put qualifications on any of them, we love them all the same, and want the best for all 3 of OUR kids. I am appalled this “mom” could act like this! Your kids are your kids, regardless of how they joined the family. I am so sorry for all of the adopted children replying to this post who weren’t treated as such by their parents. There is no excuse for that!
Ami was supposedly concerned how they might pay for the kids' college education, then kicked off and moved out after OP put money into the college fund?!? (The only situation where, imo, it might possibly have been justified to put less money into his adopted kids' college funds would have been if they had a college fund/trust fund/inheritance from their biological parents - which clearly is not the case.) Seems to me, OP is a great dad to all 3 of his kids; he's definitely NTA. Now Ami has left the country without even wanting to say goodbye? It's a good job the kids already have therapy.
i wouldnt be surprised if ami's job description was listed as "gold digger" cause shes giving off that vibe
At a certain moment in my family life (when both me and my brother were lf age) my mother considered adoption. She is a bit... childish sometimes, so she pushed me to go to the psychological training for whannabe adoptive parents. It was horrifying. The reasons people have, for why they wanted to adopt, were monstruous. Like " We have one child and want to adopt another kid his age so he has a playmate", and when she shrink asked them what they would do if the children didn't get along "well, we will return him and look for someone better suited". I almost started yelling when I heard that... awful. Also, I talked my mother out of adopting, thankfully. She isn't mature enough for that. She was quite traumatic as a parent to both me and my brother, no need to push that trauma on innocent children who need love and care.
I’m no therapist, but this sounds like she is one type of a narcissist. Not in the traditional way people have grown to think of it (ie the orange haired man). It’s the kind that craves being showered with ego-boosting compliments. This type of narcissist may actually do good things, but the intent is not always pure. The cues that lead me to believe this is that she suggested the adoption, maybe to get the praise of being a wonderful and loving person, but also wants the nice, flashy things where people compliment her as well. With three kids, I suspect real life has “gotten in the way” from getting more adoration and so she no longer is interested in them. I suspect she isn’t really interested in her own son beyond the praise she receives for being a mom. She may have done good things, but in the vein of getting praise more so than actually caring for her son. Just my two cents.
Talk to an attorney. Even if you have your assets going to your children in a will, whoever has custody of your children could end up controlling your assets should you die. I've heard of a person's ex being given the money even after changing the beneficiary of an insurance from the ex to the minor children. You need a named administrator to handle all assets until your children are old enough to make good decisions and not be coerced into giving anything to your wife.
Secure the kid’s college funds and anything and everything that you don’t want to lose. File for divorce ASAP on grounds of abandonment and perhaps child abuse. I don’t know if legally the term abuse will stretch so far, but since she has unequivocally stated her dislike for and disinterest in 2 of the 3 kids, it may. Especially since they have some blood relation to her and it was apparently her idea to adopt. Make sure “her” kid knows what Mom thinks of his beloved brother and sister. Good luck getting away from this horrible woman.
This woman is greedy and selfish. OP should be looking back and thinking of other times when she has tried to show favoritism. I'll bet this isn't the first incident, he just hasn't known about it. It's so important for all of those kids to be equally loved, wanted and treated fairly. They are ALL a family. Can't believe wife just left and abandoned them. A person with some really mixed up values. What does that say to they kids? They'll all think they aren't worthy of mothers love. Personally, I hope she never comes back.
You stated Ethan has the full amount and Aidan and Gracie each have 1/4. If your wife is out of the picture now, why didn't you give each 1/3? You didn't split it evenly even though you claim that is why she left. You aren't treating your adopted kids as well as your DNA son. You are both the AHs.
OP said that is what the "mom" wanted to do. Let Ethan keep the full amount given to him and the other 2 only 1/4 of thier funds and she would get the remain 3/4 from the 2 of them. He was giving them each the full amount of thier funds that he set up years ago.
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Definitely NTA. This guy is a wonderful father, she on the other hand is an AH. The nerve of her to whine because she doesn't get what she wants.
"She is safe with her sister." -- I'm surprised no one picked up on that. Why would she be "safe" there? What did the OP have in mind?
That someone is financially supporting his wife now that he is not....
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Good for her for treating them all equally! The other person is just horrible treating others like they're less.
I know, right! She went no contact with all of them, then up and left all of them without even saying goodbye! See? Equal treatment!
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So saddening their mom just turned her back, will move another country and don't talk to their kids. I am not going to have the moral to say which are her true feelings but what she is doing doest me a good impression at all. If it was her inheritance I deeply doubt she would agree sharing it with her husband and the younger kids. My parents were raised by their uncle and aunts so didn't get so much what they had lived because my siblings and me were so fortunate having them, but children don't deserve that from their "parents"
You sacrificed your marriage for your adopted children. You may love all three children equally but your biological child Ethan should be first and foremost in your mind, just as it is in hers. She carried Ethan in her womb for nine whole months is naturally much more invested in him and his future. There's nothing wrong with her wanting a new car and a nice vacation that she can actually enjoy.
Ah, she carried her boy in her womb for nine months! That must mean she cares! She cares so much, in fact, that she was willing to carry out an argument with her husband because she "couldn't get what she wants". She loves her boy so much, she up and left him without even saying goodbye. Top notch parenting, right there. In the comments, OP goes on to explain that the wife works part time (because she "needs something to do", meaning because she's bored), and that her money is hers and that he has no issue with that. If she wants a new car and a nice vacation, she'll be able to afford it without stealing from ANY of her children.
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Andrew, you are focusing on the wrong thing and completely missing the point of this article. It's about treating the children the same way, not about college.
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I'm adopted as well, and this enrages me too. This mom is such trash. I hope dad divorces her to get her permanently out of those kids' lives, as she will treat the adopted kids like c**p to their faces at some point, if she hasn't already. My mom treated me like a second-class citizen through my entire childhood (and still does) because I was adopted just to be a sibling to my parents' biological child. Fortunately my dad was great and didn't care I was adopted and loved me equally :)
Load More Replies... The thing is, the adopted kids are blood. Ami’s cousin is their biological parent.
Load More Replies... Wow. Just wow. I hope she gets the help she needs. I'm glad the kids have their dad, he's a stand up guy. I don't think he'll have a hard time finding a new special someone
This man is a wonderful father. I hope he gets a divorce everyone says forever farewell to Ami, and he meets a good woman who comes to love those kids as much as he does. Ami obviously has problems and I would recommend therapy for OP as well as the kids. The kids are very fortunate to have a dad like him.
What really gets me is that the kids are actually HER relatives. Distant, but still HER blood too. Yet she’s acting like they’re not. He and all the kids are much better off without her.
Load More Replies... I married a woman who had 2 kids from her first marriage. We had one together but I always hate the word step son. I usually don't use any prefix with the word son but if I have to ill say bonus kid. Or if I'm feeling cheeky ill say certified pre-owned. The boys think that one is hilarious
"Certified pre-owned" that's awesome and I'm stealing that!
Load More Replies... My adopted mother and her adopted brother grew up in a situation where they were treated poorly in comparison to their biologically born siblings. It messed her up for the rest of her life. Those kids are lucky she's left the household.
I… it… how… What in the blue fúck did I just READ? The woman doesn’t “have issues”, she’s a lunatic! Calling it “having issues” is a bit like saying that John Wayne Gacy “had some anger management problems”! She abandons ALL her children, her biological as well as adopted (because she seems to think it matters somehow, like I said, lunatic) because her husband had the audacity to take adult responsibility and plan ahead for them so she can’t, what, go on a goddamned shopping spree? That’s not “issues”, that’s “severely disturbed”. Holy moly.
She doesn't care about her kids. She cares about that fat wad of cash he inherited. If she cared about her kids, she wouldn't make a fuss about making sure that all of them had an equal college fund and wouldn't complain that she can't spoil herself. Good riddance, and may he and his kids be happy without that toxic anchor.
All children matter. Adopted, natural, all colors, countries, religions. Kids are kids. As the song says, teach them well.
Exactly. Why bother adopting a child if you're not going to treat them like a biological child?
Load More Replies... wow! i am adopted. i have two older siblings that were married and out of the house when my mom remarried. and, yes, they did voice some jealousy about how i was raised to my late mom regarding things they didn't have. mom was a single parent w/kids prior to remarrying which is the reason why. still, they were jealous. but, as far as my dad was concerned, i was/am his. he is now 80, lives next door & has dinner every night with me. he gave me more a comfy life. he gave me unconditional love.
I was adopted, and unwanted. I was reminded on a weekly basis that had I been a boy so much more would have been done for me. I was always introduced to people as the adopted child. At my parents' memorial my uncle barely mentioned me and went on and on about how my son was my parents' pride and joy the "Son they never had but so desperately wanted" I was treated like Matilda from the movie, my whole life "I'm big your small, I'm smart you're dumb, I know better because I'm older, you're disrespectful ungrateful, etc" When you give an 8-year-old a coupon for a McDonald's cheeseburger and all the "family made children" (my cousins) thousands of dollars worth of Christmas presents, yeah they will be upset. Reading this makes me want to punch that greedy biatch
Lsai Aeon, as a parent with 1 biological child and 2 adopted children, I am so sorry you were treated so horribly! Your children are your children, regardless of how they came into the family, and should never be treated differently because of that.
Load More Replies... I just cannot fathom how this woman has behaved!! There has got be something else going with wife that he doesn't know about for her to up and abandon the children, including their biological son! My heart really goes out to him, but it sounds like he is not to broken up about her actions. He sounds like an incredible father. Most people can only wish they had a devoted father/husband like this. I wish him the best!
Seething is not even close to my feelings about this. I have a lot of rude names in my mind for her. You keep being the amazing father you are. You and the kiddos will be 100% fine without the wifey. Wife needs to grow up and husband should keep his focus on himself and the children as he has been. Ami is a giant A$$ who I'm sure doesn't need or deserve a new purse or car. Lawyer up and protect yourself and your children. There are a bunch of great women out there who would love those kids and you. Move on. The 4 of you deserve so much better.
It is infuriating to me to distinguish between biological and adopted children. They are the same upon adoption, hence the changing of the birth certificate. If that is not in your heart, please don’t adopt. I have 3 children, all girls. One was adopted. It doesn’t matter which one as I couldn’t love any one of them more than the others. Of course she knows she was adopted. And she knows it doesn’t make a bit of difference, she is my child. Period.
As an adoptive parent with a biological child, I couldn’t agree more! ❤️❤️❤️
Load More Replies... It is unfortunately, I believe your wife is jealous of your younger children. You may want to research if she was receiving survivor benefits for the younger kids. Also, you may want to speak with an attorney, about her legally and physically abandoning the three children.
waitwaitwait SO SHE wanted to adopt the kids. and they ARE FROM HER FAMILY MEMBER. So they are still HER FAMILY yet she thinks so less of them, that they are ruining her child!? honestly, get a lawyer and get that money protected, get a divorce and keep it no contact, it'll hurt at first but the kids will learn what an awful person she really was, and you'll be better off without her, honestly. i am fuming over the idea that she could be like that >.<
It really, really makes me wonder if she only adopted the kids to look good in front of her family (i.e. her mom, her dad, etc.). If that is the case then she's probably telling her family lies about what really happened. I also wonder if its something worse than that, like what if she was doing taxes or trying to figure out the cost of something and saw that the other 2 kids were causing "less" money so she just turned against them? I hope OP does another update and lets us know.
Load More Replies... We had a prize jerk who somehow became president of the school board of our public school district. His adopted kid and his foster child kid went to public school. The birth daughter was sent to an elite private school. This was only the teeniest one of the many reasons that the voters overwhelming voted him out after one term.
So not the AH the second you adopt a child, he or she becomes your child full stop.
OP it sounds like you're doing right by all three of your children. NTA. Your wife, however...
Simply selfish. No other explanation. He should be glad she's gone.
They are better off without her. I am betting that the adopted children have some stories about how they were treated by her when dad wasn't around. She resents her son being close to one of her adopted children so this isn't just about the money. Absolutely a parent can play favorites without the other parent knowing. It happened to me (and I am not adopted). My father thought my mother was perfect, but he wasn't around when she verbally abused me.
My dad STILL refers to my half-sister as his stepdaughter, not his daughter. Makes me mad. I just simply call her my sister because that is what she is. (I said half-sister strictly for context) Screw this woman. I'm just sorry that this one has such a sad ending. Those poor children. Now they might grow up thinking Mom left because of them. My heart hurts now.
Leave her. Takes all the kids with you. They don't need a parent who ranks their worth. Yuk
Bet she's having some form of empty nest syndrome / jealous of the relationship between the two boys. Probably thinks the one son is pulling the other son away from her and she is left behind
I wonder if there is more going on here. Her up and leaving for seemingly no reason has me suspicious. If that is the case then that is truly awful.
Don't think so. I read this on reddit. It was also her family. The kids were from her cousin, who died and he had set apart enough money for themselves, gave her a big fat car 18 months ago, but she just wanted more money for herself.
Load More Replies... Hmmm, well based on what you say your NTA. So odd she left without saying goodbye to any of the kids and moved to her Mom’s. Are you sure that’s were she is? Did she quit her PT job? I would NOT foot her bills you have enough on your plate. Best to get a legal separation immediately are you will be responsible for half of all her accumulated bills. Although, you could get her on abandonment. Consult with an attorney for your state of residence. Truly sad!
Blood does not make a family, love does. As one who can't have biological children, this sort of behaviour is appalling! That father is awesome in my book!
So she adopted two kids and now she's done with them? F**k her, what the f**k.
She just sounds like a greedy, entitled b***h. My brother was adopted, and he's my brother, pure and simple. We were not treated any differently as kids and we're not now. If you adopt a kid then it's your kid. Sounds like they'd all be better off without her.
I’m blessed with a partner who is part of a mixed up collection of a family. Grandparents who aren’t actually blood relatives, half brothers and half sisters, step brothers, sisters step mums and dads, adopted children, foster children you name it, they’ve got it in their family. The children are not referred to as anything but brothers and sisters, their status is not dependent on DNA, they are loved and they love their family. They get to choose their place in the family, some of the foster children don’t want to be referred to as brothers and sisters of anyone, they have healing to do, they are still family but they are yet to find the place that they are happy with. No one in the family is bothered what or who you are, once you are in then that’s that, we are all equal, we all command the same love and respect. To do anything other than that is to devalue the individuals and wreck a beautiful family.
This is so completely bizarre on the mother’s part….I would love to know if there have been other instances where she has favored Ethan as the biological son and excluded the other 2 adopted children, in the 10 years they have had them. Very strange for her to have been a loving mother to them for 10 years and then all of a sudden doesn’t want the responsibility of providing for them fully now. Poor kids. Nothing worse than a child not feeling fully loved. Makes me wonder….
It was heartbreaking to read that Aiden apologised for causing an argument and that he knows that dad loves him but he isn't sure his mum does. Aiden and Gracie must have been feeling like this for quite a while, so who knows what is being said when dad isn't around. Mum obviously has issues but that doesn't excuse her behaviour and she should have had the decency to sat goodbye to the children. Thank goodness they have a dad like they do. It's probably for the best that mum has taken herself out of their family unit.
My heart aches for the kids and makes me angry at Mom for not sticking by all three of the kids, especially during such a delicate time in their lives. All 3 kids are YOUR kids! I am also adopted and hope the kids know how much you love them for sticking up for them. Mom needs a reality check. One day the kids will be grown and opportunities for repairing the relationship with Mom will be lost.
Hello. Where can I meet a guy like this? The devotion to all three children is breaking my heart. He loves Ami, has a little boy with her. He takes care of everything. Ami's got it made. And then .... her family member can no longer care for 2 children so Ami' s idea is to adopt. Now they are a big wonderful family of five. And I bet there have been so many red flags over the years about Ami. So many but they didn't really stand out until this amazing guy inherited money and decided to open some college funds because they boys have indicated they want to go to college in the next couple of years. And Ami viewed the money like hers. So 1) I am adopted. 2) I am married and have paid for everything. Always. No one is paying my bills. When my parents died ( fyi: they did not refer to me as their adopted daughter and I did not refer to them as my adoptive parents) they left me everything I told my husband- the one who never paid my bills or ..... I am saving this money for our kids.
Con't.... He's had a lot of trouble about that. He's really tried to Ami his way into the account ... but he cannot. There's nothing wrong with him ... if he wants something he can buy it himself. My point, Ami sounds repulsive and this guy is too good for her. So are those kids ... you know the ones he's got in therapy because he's aware that there is something wrong with Ami and it is impacting the children. Dump this dead wood. There are a lot of pieces out there who would like a partner like you. Sorry to be so wordy but bs lime this with adopted.children really passes me off. What was Ami thi king? And I don't need to hear about her reasons or her mental health issues. Sometimes you just need to control yourself when it comes to your children. And earn your own money.
Load More Replies... Well, smh, I'm numb....I just can't believe anything I just read. It was so salacious I couldn't stop reading and now Mercy I'm just numb I hope that you find the love of your life and she never gets s*** she wants. I almost hate her I don't know what just happened and I'm so so sorry that this happened to you and them. F*** man I'm so so sorry. 😩🥴😢😥🤬😡😠😤😱
In biblical times, and some cultures, adopted children are actually more strongly recognized because they were chosen! PS I can't stand it when parents are introducing their children and make a point to say "our adopted" son or daughter to make it clear they are different from the bio ones!! It's like a bragfest that belittles and embarrasses the children! My sister was black in a white family and never once did any of us even imagine doing that! She was our sister and daughter, period!
Adopted children shouldn't be treated bad. They are your children same as biological children
OP. You stay true to yourself and your 3 children. One thought to consider is to take a certain amount and divide it equally between the 3 kids college funds. Take the extra and set it aside for some fun things for you and the kids to do together, create memories. If your able don't forget to set a little aside for future weddings. Your wife has made her choice. There are consequences for her actions and she will have to live with that. Be honest with the kids. Explain she is going to live with her mother, she has some issues to work through. Be honest with them that you don't really understand what these issues include or why it's come to this. Explain you'll be filing for divorce. Anytime they want to reach out to talk to her you will be there for them. Continue reassuring them anytime they need to talk about things you are here for them. I'm so sorry you all are going through this. The kids are lucky to have you as their dad. Attorney to protect each child's money.
IDC what her issues are, this is not the way a mother acts. My oldest isn't biologically mine but he is mine all the same. I can not even imagine saying he gets less of anything than the other that is biologically mine. When i came into his life i agreed to be his mother in every way period.
Also, can I mention the seemingly repetitive nature of some of these AITA posts? "I got money, so-and-so called me TA for being generous with it. Am I TA?"
Honestly, id have recommended cutting ALL the college funds in half. Equal treatment all the way around. But wifey wants some money? Wifey gets some from all the kids, not just the adopted ones, so she can see she's hurting "her kid" as well. (Please note the quotes, as thats how she saw it).
Or dont cut any of them because its OPs inheritance and he wants the kids to have it not the wife.
Load More Replies... And did I read that she wants a new car and a "big flashy holiday" Instead of saving for her children's education? I think Dante could create a new circle of hell for this woman.
She is the worst kind of person. How could she do such a thing? I wouldn't treat people I hated like this, let alone my family. Some will blame it on a mental disorder or chemical imbalance, but it sounds to me like she is just a Bad person, bad mom, and needs to be as far away from this family as possible. Dad on the other hand seems like the best kind of person.
Divorce this cruel woman and take full custody of all of YOUR children! This made me cry for you and your children. I am so sorry, I cannot understand how she could feel this way. These children are from her side of the family. I commend you for being such a kind and loving man, they are so lucky to be with you. Best of luck
I think she met someone else in Canada..it just seems so sudden and not wanting anything to do with the kids really weird.. LOVED THAT OP SAID DNA DOESN'T MAKE THEM ANY LESS MINE 💞
I have to say that I am so proud of OP for sticking up for his kids, and overlooking their "imaginary ranking system" that his wife apparently viewed them having. She is apparently extremely selfish, and OP should have seen signs of this a lot sooner. It's not something that just blossoms out of nowhere, after all. This post reminds me of an article I read once where this couple were struggling to have kids, so they adopted an infant daughter. They created a college fund for her and had it all set up for her to go to school. However, the mom got pregnant, and suddenly everything changed. They took the entire fund away from their first (adopted) child and gave it to their biological child, and suddenly treated their oldest as if she wasn't wanted anymore. That infuriated me to my core. How dare people be like this? Though a biological child may be born from your womb, an adopted child is born from your heart. Always remember that.
Definitely, Not. The discussion really isn't about treating them the same. That's very loving and exactly what a parent should do without question. What changed , here?? Why is your wife being so indifferent? It's easy to put attention on things that maybe have some patches to smooth out, and avoid the real elephant in the room. Adopted or not bad parenting is just bad. Find out what the real issue is. She knew where it would offend you the most to grab your attention. Clearly, it worked. Nevertheless protect those innocent kids. And confront her on the real problem, you may require lawyers. In general I dislike anyone who is abusive towards kids, teens and young adult children. It is a parent's job to strengthen and encourage perseverance. It helps deal with stress they will in no doubt face. Good luck, don't give in and document as much as you can and have kids do the same, facts always mach up. You have some work ahead of you.
Dad is definitely NTA while Mom is definitely TA. She didn't get what she wants and sulked like a child. I just hope she doesn't have another lover back then. No worries, everyone will grow old. And in the older days, who will stand by you? I can imagine Dad will be surrounded by the children and grandchildren while Mom? Probably left alone.
I'm trying to very hard to hold back from the names that I want to call your wife, and the opinions that I want to share about her, but I will say that she isn't a mother. A mother doesn't abandon her children, or see them as different in any way, their her children weather they come out of her womb, or not, and she doesn't up, and leave without staying in touch, visiting, having them visit, and she says " Good Bye. " I had to leave my daughter in Georgia to go to the States, and I was holding her at the airport, and she was crying, and I was crying, and I didn't want to go, but I had to. I called my partner, and checked on her all the time, and they sent me videos of her to watch, plus we exchanged letters about her. When I got back, the first place that I wanted to see was my daughter, and she ran up to me yelling " Mommie!" Your wife is something, what I don't know, but I can think of a few unkind things to call her,and to say about her.
So he works full time and pays for everything for the family and she works part time and keeps the money - and then gets resentful because she wants "nice things" and can't afford them if he is (quite rightly) supporting all three kids through college. Entitled much? If she wants more money she can get out and earn it for herself! Well done to this guy for standing by his kids - because they are ALL his kids. His wife (now ex?) is a vile selfish idiot.
I had a biological child when my wife and I met (my 1st wife died of cancer when our son was almost 5 months old; he’s now 22 years old). Incidentally, his name is Ethan and my wife’s name is Amy. Amy had no qualms about adopting Ethan. We had infertility problems, so we adopted 2 kids at birth, now 17 and 15. We don’t put qualifications on any of them, we love them all the same, and want the best for all 3 of OUR kids. I am appalled this “mom” could act like this! Your kids are your kids, regardless of how they joined the family. I am so sorry for all of the adopted children replying to this post who weren’t treated as such by their parents. There is no excuse for that!
Ami was supposedly concerned how they might pay for the kids' college education, then kicked off and moved out after OP put money into the college fund?!? (The only situation where, imo, it might possibly have been justified to put less money into his adopted kids' college funds would have been if they had a college fund/trust fund/inheritance from their biological parents - which clearly is not the case.) Seems to me, OP is a great dad to all 3 of his kids; he's definitely NTA. Now Ami has left the country without even wanting to say goodbye? It's a good job the kids already have therapy.
i wouldnt be surprised if ami's job description was listed as "gold digger" cause shes giving off that vibe
At a certain moment in my family life (when both me and my brother were lf age) my mother considered adoption. She is a bit... childish sometimes, so she pushed me to go to the psychological training for whannabe adoptive parents. It was horrifying. The reasons people have, for why they wanted to adopt, were monstruous. Like " We have one child and want to adopt another kid his age so he has a playmate", and when she shrink asked them what they would do if the children didn't get along "well, we will return him and look for someone better suited". I almost started yelling when I heard that... awful. Also, I talked my mother out of adopting, thankfully. She isn't mature enough for that. She was quite traumatic as a parent to both me and my brother, no need to push that trauma on innocent children who need love and care.
I’m no therapist, but this sounds like she is one type of a narcissist. Not in the traditional way people have grown to think of it (ie the orange haired man). It’s the kind that craves being showered with ego-boosting compliments. This type of narcissist may actually do good things, but the intent is not always pure. The cues that lead me to believe this is that she suggested the adoption, maybe to get the praise of being a wonderful and loving person, but also wants the nice, flashy things where people compliment her as well. With three kids, I suspect real life has “gotten in the way” from getting more adoration and so she no longer is interested in them. I suspect she isn’t really interested in her own son beyond the praise she receives for being a mom. She may have done good things, but in the vein of getting praise more so than actually caring for her son. Just my two cents.
Talk to an attorney. Even if you have your assets going to your children in a will, whoever has custody of your children could end up controlling your assets should you die. I've heard of a person's ex being given the money even after changing the beneficiary of an insurance from the ex to the minor children. You need a named administrator to handle all assets until your children are old enough to make good decisions and not be coerced into giving anything to your wife.
Secure the kid’s college funds and anything and everything that you don’t want to lose. File for divorce ASAP on grounds of abandonment and perhaps child abuse. I don’t know if legally the term abuse will stretch so far, but since she has unequivocally stated her dislike for and disinterest in 2 of the 3 kids, it may. Especially since they have some blood relation to her and it was apparently her idea to adopt. Make sure “her” kid knows what Mom thinks of his beloved brother and sister. Good luck getting away from this horrible woman.
This woman is greedy and selfish. OP should be looking back and thinking of other times when she has tried to show favoritism. I'll bet this isn't the first incident, he just hasn't known about it. It's so important for all of those kids to be equally loved, wanted and treated fairly. They are ALL a family. Can't believe wife just left and abandoned them. A person with some really mixed up values. What does that say to they kids? They'll all think they aren't worthy of mothers love. Personally, I hope she never comes back.
You stated Ethan has the full amount and Aidan and Gracie each have 1/4. If your wife is out of the picture now, why didn't you give each 1/3? You didn't split it evenly even though you claim that is why she left. You aren't treating your adopted kids as well as your DNA son. You are both the AHs.
OP said that is what the "mom" wanted to do. Let Ethan keep the full amount given to him and the other 2 only 1/4 of thier funds and she would get the remain 3/4 from the 2 of them. He was giving them each the full amount of thier funds that he set up years ago.
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA. This guy is a wonderful father, she on the other hand is an AH. The nerve of her to whine because she doesn't get what she wants.
"She is safe with her sister." -- I'm surprised no one picked up on that. Why would she be "safe" there? What did the OP have in mind?
That someone is financially supporting his wife now that he is not....
Load More Replies... Good for her for treating them all equally! The other person is just horrible treating others like they're less.
I know, right! She went no contact with all of them, then up and left all of them without even saying goodbye! See? Equal treatment!
Load More Replies... So saddening their mom just turned her back, will move another country and don't talk to their kids. I am not going to have the moral to say which are her true feelings but what she is doing doest me a good impression at all. If it was her inheritance I deeply doubt she would agree sharing it with her husband and the younger kids. My parents were raised by their uncle and aunts so didn't get so much what they had lived because my siblings and me were so fortunate having them, but children don't deserve that from their "parents"
You sacrificed your marriage for your adopted children. You may love all three children equally but your biological child Ethan should be first and foremost in your mind, just as it is in hers. She carried Ethan in her womb for nine whole months is naturally much more invested in him and his future. There's nothing wrong with her wanting a new car and a nice vacation that she can actually enjoy.
Ah, she carried her boy in her womb for nine months! That must mean she cares! She cares so much, in fact, that she was willing to carry out an argument with her husband because she "couldn't get what she wants". She loves her boy so much, she up and left him without even saying goodbye. Top notch parenting, right there. In the comments, OP goes on to explain that the wife works part time (because she "needs something to do", meaning because she's bored), and that her money is hers and that he has no issue with that. If she wants a new car and a nice vacation, she'll be able to afford it without stealing from ANY of her children.
Load More Replies... Andrew, you are focusing on the wrong thing and completely missing the point of this article. It's about treating the children the same way, not about college.
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