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Guy Finds A Date On Tinder, However After Meeting Her He Soon Realizes Something Is Not Right
173points
40.4K
Other4 years ago

Guy Finds A Date On Tinder, However After Meeting Her He Soon Realizes Something Is Not Right

Dating in this day and age is an increasingly fraught affair, with the breakdown of previous ‘norms’ almost complete and new rules and expectations far from clear in a technology obsessed world.

Online dating and apps like Tinder do have the advantage of getting to know your date pretty well before actually meeting, it is common to exchange texts for days and have a pretty solid idea of who you are flirting with through their Facebook profile etc.

However the following story might make you think twice about jumping straight into fancy dinners and weekends away. Imgur user minilogo37 quickly realised that his ‘date’ was more interested in the material benefits that a date can bring, rather than his company, and he was being played.

What to do in such a situation? Grit your teeth and pay up, as the gentleman was previously expected to do? Insist on a bill split, with a potentially embarrassing confrontation? Quietly explain the situation to the waiter, pay him your share and leave quietly?

Scroll down below to see how minilogo37 dealt with his unscrupulous ‘date,’ and the ensuing discussion about modern dating ethics. What’s your take on the situation? Let us know in the comments!

Commenters were quick to applaud his actions

But some had other ideas

What is your take on the situation?

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Kristaps Sungailis
Community Member
4 years ago

It’s sounds like she used him, but it is only from his side of the story. What every really happened, just leaving is terrible thing to do. Don’t be little ++++ and own situation, not run away from it!

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi
Community Member
4 years ago

Right! Be a gentleman and ask her what is going on, why is she so not interested on the date. THEN you can tell her to pay her meal, if you think she tries to take advantage on a free meal.

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TheBoredPanda
Community Member
4 years ago

I dunno, maybe slip the money for your part to the waiter on your way out so she only gets stuck with her part to pay?

Lisa Michelle
Community Member
4 years ago

<3

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Rukmania
Community Member
4 years ago

This is ridiculous. Something hardly worth congratulating or justifying. The post about this talks about heroic dogs. This man is hardly a hero and just a dog. She definitely deserved it IF getting free food was her motive, BUT it still wasn't fair OR mature to ditch her.

Nicky OldfieldDesciple
Community Member
4 years ago

Do NOT call this man a dog. Dogs are wonderful friendly loyal beautiful animals. Calling this man a dog is an insult to dogs just like calling her a b*itch is an insult to a dog.

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Tjeezers
Community Member
4 years ago

Its not cool to sneak out. You should have kept the honor to yourself and take it as a lesson. You did to her what you thought she did to you. Lame situation

A Ghost
Community Member
4 years ago

She could have been planning on paying for herself. It's not fair for him to run out on her

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Monilip
Community Member
4 years ago

So you did EXACTLY what you were thinking she was going to do? That is nice... how about, next time, instead of running away like a child you could try to TALK as adult to another person?

Lisa Michelle
Community Member
4 years ago

Love button required for this comment

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Bobby Frank James
Community Member
4 years ago

I had a similar situation with my date doing exactly the same, minus the sweatpants, but plus dropping "that Jig can make a drink" when the African American bartender did a good job. So in normal situations I always pay, no offense to anyone who does it different but I was raised to be a gentle man until the lady insists on splitting. In this case however, I went to the waiter after excusing myself to the bathroom, paid for my half, told him the situation, and to my surprise, he came right out with, "buddy, go to your car, delete her off of every social platform, and go home. I got you, i'm gonna stall going over to her with the bill until I see your car leave." He had seen the whole date interaction and knew exactly what was up. I gave him a pound and headed out the back door. Took his advice, wiped out all contact and bolted. Never heard from her again. I went back a few days later to the restaurant and gave my man a gift certificate to a local restaurant down the road.

Jeanne Richard
Community Member
4 years ago

Good on you for being civil about a bad date and paying your own and telling the waiter. But as for normally paying the full meal meaning you're a gentleman? That is super outdated, even from a woman's standpoint.

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Pamela24
Community Member
4 years ago

I like the idea of splitting the bill in half. Or on insisting she should pay for what she ordered. But leaving seems just so rude.

Georgia Young
Community Member
4 years ago

I think it was rude of her, #1 who orders that much food on a first date with someone?? Dead give away, right there. #2, talking more to the waiter, not good, also rude. #3, split the bill, hmm, that was fair but would she have created a scene?? I think he did the right thing, making her foot the bill for what it seemed like, her using him. Who shows up to a first date in sweat pants?? He should have left right then!!!!

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Hollie Newton
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have gone to bathroom come out found a waiter or something explained the dealio and then paid for his half of the meal

KK
Community Member
4 years ago

I liked the dog that saved the baby more than this """hero""".

Todd Zabek
Community Member
4 years ago

We need to stop the antiquated concept that the man is to pay.

Hari Onago
Community Member
4 years ago

Is this an American custom? Because, at least, where I live each one pays for their own meal or someone pays for both but next time the other one does and so on.

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Shana
Community Member
4 years ago

To be honest, he could have just asked a waiter to let him pay for his part of the bill and then run off. (To avoid confrontation with a possible "well I dont have any money with me anyway", making him still pay for everything.) Because now he just did to her what she might have been doing to him. (Although, going to a nice restaurant in your sweatpants, doing zero effort or showing zero interest in the date,... Well, that does kinda look like you're just in it for a free dinner.)

Jeanne Richard
Community Member
4 years ago

To me, actually, it screams shut in that really needed an excuse to go out for a good meal and feel slightly less awkward than going alone.

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zef rose
Community Member
4 years ago

So, it seems this guy is proud of what he did, ie: running off and sticking her with his meal bill. Hmm. What a creep. Of course she called him a fucker, because that is what he is.

Star Colin
Community Member
4 years ago

He could have asked for separate checks.

Cookie
Community Member
4 years ago

At least pay for your own share before running.

Sharon Piott
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have paid for his meal. Period.

Shruti Naik
Community Member
4 years ago

This is just his version of the story. We don't know if she really meant to use him or just found the food more interesting than him. Anyway no matter what her motive was, I would have still stayed through the meal and split the cheque if I were him.

Lila DeWolffe
Community Member
4 years ago

It would also have been mostly acceptable if he'd found an employee and paid his half of the bill, then left. The way he did it makes him an a*****e.

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Jonathan Eatsalot
Community Member
4 years ago

He is more like her then he realizes

Lila DeWolffe
Community Member
4 years ago

He's more like her than *she* might be, if you think about it.

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Dan Davis
Community Member
4 years ago

Excuse me but I tend to think this man is trying to write a novel "Fifty Shades of Bullshit."

Shannon McKee
Community Member
4 years ago

I doubt his word. More than likely he intentionally tried to pull something on her and is deflecting blame by making it seem like she was trying to pull a fast one on her. He was the one who picked the restaurant, not her. I bet he told her to order whatever she wanted and then he sneaked out and left the bill to her.

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

he probably did, but didnt expect 4 glasses of a middle of the line wine(unless it was the most expensive they had), and to order a main course enough for 2 people to eat by herself.

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Korvina Krow
Community Member
4 years ago

Wow, so this asshole dines-n-dashes? He could have at least paid his share. Yea, seems like maybe he used her and is giving a shitty story about her... he is the one who dined and dashed. He admitted it. "I left the bathroom, headed out the door, got in my car, and drove home." I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him, not text fucker 12 times.

Ramona Hedges
Community Member
4 years ago

its no okay to just split, unless your afraid of something.

Duane Yaiser
Community Member
4 years ago

He was afraid of being taken advantage of.

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Lulu Machete
Community Member
4 years ago

Clearly that meal was not in Australia, it's super cheap.

William Bonner
Community Member
4 years ago

He ate. He ran. Theft. He agreed on dinner, he chose the restaurant. He should have stuck to the plan. If she didn't offer to split the bill...well, some lessons are costly.

Leslie Frostig Miller
Community Member
4 years ago

She's the one that insisted on dinner for their first meet up, then orders an appetizer and two entree's and 4 glasses of wine and comes dressed as a slob? She was looking for a free meal, an expensive one at that while offering nothing, not even decent conversation, in return. She got what she deserved.

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Debbie Smith
Community Member
4 years ago

Best thing to do would be to go to the manager (away from where she can see you) and pay for YOUR part of what was consumed and THEN leave.

Larry Bundy Jr.
Community Member
4 years ago

Based on his description of her (wearing sweat pants to a date and etc) I feel kind of bad for her. Sounds to me like she's super poor and uses tinder as a means to eat. If that's the case though you should engage your date and order something reasonable and not drink 4 glasses of wine. My reaction would have been to just walk up and pay the bill when I "went to the bathroom" and then left. Wouldn't stick her with a bill but I'd make her mooch a ride off someone else if I felt she had mooched off me enough for the evening.

jkevinga
Community Member
1 year ago

Larry Bundy Jr. like

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Friedlander Rosenzweig
Community Member
4 years ago

On the off chance her intentions were pure, I think you should contact her to arrange payment for your portion. You can always transmit the funds you owe without ever seeing her again.

Brent Kaufman
Community Member
4 years ago

In general, I would say that he should pay for his part of the meal, but in this case, it seems that there is a side to say that the entire evening was based on deception and that he never would have gone to such a fancy restaurant, or out to eat at all, if it wasn't for her consciously misrepresenting herself. Paying on a first date isn't about which gender should pay. Anytime one person "invites" another person to go somewhere, the invitor should pay. That seems like common sense. Whether it's a date, or if I just invite a male friend of mine (I'm a guy) to go get a sandwich, the invitor is saying "I want to take you out to such and such..." Taking someone means that you supply the transportation and the means for the event itself. "Come to my place for dinner or a BBQ. We'll be having wine, salad and steak and potatoes. Your half will cost $*****.**".

Laurie Price-Soto
Community Member
4 years ago

This story is from his perspective only. I wonder what hers is. Did he wear an offensive sexist t-shirt, and make requests for sex constantly? Did he denigrate her outfit/make-up/looks? Did he flirt/make passes at every other female present? They're BOTH to blame: even if he didn't do any of the above, and was a "nice guy," bottom line is he dined and dashed, leaving a stranger with the bill.

Debbie Walsh
Community Member
4 years ago

I would have left my half with the waiter then ditched

Sissie Burlew
Community Member
4 years ago

I personally think he should have paid for his food before he left. He did say the date wasn't going well.

Alina Astalus
Community Member
4 years ago

Which is way one of the first thing to do is tell the other person you plan to pay only for what you order. You know, like it's normal nowadays. I feel very weird when guys want to pay for me, especially really soon after meeting them...

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

usually the guy wants to be respectful, and not show you he's like the guys who only want one thing EVER...

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iamvectorious
Community Member
4 years ago

Imagine changing the situation where the girl ditches the GUY... they girl would have made up a 100 excuses why he ditched him... and everyone would think it was OK.

Morgiana
Community Member
4 years ago

Not if she ran away without paying her share.

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Fabulous
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have bought the cheapest thing, left money to pay for what he bought and left

Stille20
Community Member
4 years ago

Even Greta (the poster) isn't convinced.

Aeshi
Community Member
4 years ago

Whoa...

Paula Shepard
Community Member
4 years ago

He's fine, other than he should have covered his part of the bill before he left. Then he'd be flawless. As a woman I am nervous about going on a date where I can't pay for my own stuff even if he says he'll cover it. What if he is a complete jerk? What if he assumes dinner means fringe benefits? What if he is really creepy? I want the freedom that at least being ABLE to pay my own bill gives me. If I need out for whatever reason >I< can quietly slip away, pay my own bill and leave (and I also like to meet there so I have my own vehicle right there too). I don't want to stick anyone for my bill if it isn't working out and I also don't want to feel beholden to put up with stuff that I shouldn't either...and as for what I order on a date on his dime, I pick a couple reasonable things as possibilities and ask what he thinks....the one he says is a good idea is the one I pick...that way he has control over the bill...it's only fair and right.

Derek Weir
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have paid his half, sneaking out was despicable, in fact he should have ended the meal earlier, and called it a night.

Valentino Miller
Community Member
4 years ago

For the record, you don't know whether she was going to pay for her own meal, but assumed she was on the take. You snuck out of the restaurant and stiffed her with the tab. You ARE a "fucker". What you should have done was made who's paying for what clear from the jump so this silly situation was avoided. She did nothing wrong, you did. I don't understand your complaint when you did EXACTLY (or even worse by having snuck out) what you THOUGHT she was about to do. #FUCKER

Sara Hillman
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have paid for his half of the meal and asked her directly why she didn’t seem interested in getting to know him . Re: Is the man expected to pay in this day and age ? Until women get equal rights of pay to men then yes he should pay the lions share or at least offer ( assuming they are from similar social backgrounds , therefore careers)

Jovy Jergens
Community Member
4 years ago

There is probably a better way to handle such a situation but i am glad this gold-digger got her just desserts (pun intended),. If someone did this to my brother I would be furious!

Trish Christoffersen
Community Member
4 years ago

I went out on a couple dates (not from Tinder!) and I tried to pay for the coffee and then dinner, but the gentleman insisted. I did not, however, go crazy with the food - chicken wings and a glass of water was all I ordered. There is nothing wrong with the other person paying for the meal if they insist.but that Tinder woman sounds crazy!

Mont
Community Member
4 years ago

It's not dated for men to pay for meals.

Mont
Community Member
4 years ago

Should've found the server and given them cash for his half if he was going to leave like that.

Martin
Community Member
4 years ago

What he had right there is known as a Dinner Whore and he taught her a lesson... but I would have walked out as soon as I saw sweatpants.

'Raj Dhawan
Community Member
4 years ago

Totally wrong to just walk out on her...that is a loser attitude, of not dealing with a difficult situation and running away from it. Right thing to do would have been to pay for your share of the bill, and man up to her on your thoughts about the date.

Kimai Rosy
Community Member
4 years ago

Right, and he never even mentioned what he himself because we're all supposed to believe he's a saint. I'm calling bullsh*t especially when he doesn't give all the details and is acting like he's so innocent and hides any wrongdoing of his own. Besides where does it say she wasn't going to pay her own bill. Also of course if I'm going to restaurant I want fancy food otherwise might as well have stayed home and cooked dinner myself.

Christi Emerson
Community Member
4 years ago

Two wrongs don't make a right. You could have let her know up front that you would not pay for all of it. Once she started ordering all that food and the drinks, you should have told her you expect some help with the bill. Sneaking out and sticking her with the bill just shows her that you are a spineless jerk and that rather than confront a person with an issue, you would rather run away so you don't have to deal with it. What she did was bad. What you did was worse.

Elisabeth Noguera
Community Member
4 years ago

I like what he did, if that date went as he explains.

Susan Fernandez
Community Member
4 years ago

Genius. Pure Genius. Well played.

Michael Wardell
Community Member
4 years ago

Slip the waiter a $50 for you side plus tip and post.

Karen Hansen
Community Member
4 years ago

The entire story sounds made up.

Gregory Cushing
Community Member
4 years ago

Showing up in sweats would already be a deal breaker. I date ladies, and I do not use a hookup site.

Rajko Galun
Community Member
4 years ago

Is she a bitch? Nobody know. Is he a shithead? Definitely

lisa H
Community Member
4 years ago

So she's rude. He's the one in this story who broke the law. I hope he went to jail for it. Ever heard two wrongs don't make it right?

renn
Community Member
4 years ago

Who turns up on a first date in sweatpants? And what kinda "gentleman" bolts? Dude, call her up and marry her... Made for each other!!!

Scott Andrews
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have called the waiter over and told him separate checks and watched her reaction.

Suzette St Claire Morgan
Community Member
4 years ago

I think it's hilarious, come on now. She wore track pants and didn't engage in the date and ate a pricey meal. She's probably done this numerous times and had the table turned on her for a change LMAO .

Monique Pigeon
Community Member
4 years ago

Well, it sounds like she has a scheme going. She finally got played back. I would have got up for the restroom. Given the waiter a credit card for what I ate and the slid out the back door. I'm no longer on the market and I hear all these awful stories. If I were having to date again, I'd make sure that it was agreed upon that we either split it or pay our own way or like I get the movie if he gets the drinks sort of thing. One, if I don't like him, I don't want to be beholden to anybody. Two, I make my own money in this day and age. Three, I'm not paying for his ass either.

Debbie Walsh
Community Member
4 years ago

I would have left my half with the waiter-and ditched

Shecky Feinstein
Community Member
4 years ago

She was a

Karen Ehler
Community Member
4 years ago

They both behaved badly.

Amanda Jackson
Community Member
4 years ago

I would pay for what I had say goodbye and leave

FABULOUS1
Community Member
4 years ago

Nothing heroic about his actions, if he felt she was using him for a free meal he should of spoke up. Instead of sticking her with the entire bill and doing to her what she possibly intended to do to him he could of approached the waiter and gave him his part of the bill then walked out. At the same time took it as a lesson learned, but if she was only giving 1 word answers the entire time I would of stop her from even ordering past the appetizers.

Beth McFadden
Community Member
4 years ago

She had no interest in this guy at all and tried scamming him for an expensive meal. There are woman, and not a few men that do this regularly. Glad it bit her in the ass.

mgriffinfineart
Community Member
4 years ago

Pretty lousy thing to do, even if she was trying to get a free meal out of you. I don't know why anyone would think he deserves applause for sticking her with both meals. Asking the server to split the bills would have been the best thing to do.. Not sneak out like a weasel.

Bruce Christianson
Community Member
4 years ago

Who knows? She may have been feeding herself energy for a wild night to come. He'll never know.

Aleksandra Ninkov
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have chosen a cheaper place, it was just a first date. Other than that, he did the right thing. He taught her a lesson.

Anita Logan-Nicoll
Community Member
4 years ago

I can't agree with what he did, but I can certainly understand his reason. On the other hand do you wonder if she snuck out too? or if she got stuck paying the whole bill? How did she get out of there? I dunno, I have a conscience and not paying at least my share would weigh on me.

Mangoes'nRum
Community Member
4 years ago

Hah! I actually know a girl who used to do this quite regularly on tinder dates. She had exactly the same thing happen to her...Didn't stop her from continuing to use tinder dates for free meals though. Best part was, the same guy did it to her twice!!

Korvina Krow
Community Member
4 years ago

He dined and dashed on her. He admitted it. He's the dick, not her. I wouldn't have texted him 12 times. I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him for that.

Azure Adams
Community Member
4 years ago

People are dumb

Chris Cook
Community Member
4 years ago

The issue isn't what she ate as some folks are trying to make out but the fact that she was just there to mooch that was the issue. Most guys don't mind paying if we get the pleasure of your company and a decent conversation as we get to know you. He didn't get that he was just a meal ticket to her. She deserved to learn first hand why that sucks.

Lila DeWolffe
Community Member
4 years ago

You have proof that she 'was just there to mooch'? Nope. You weren't there & you're just taking Mr. Jerkwad Dinendash's word for it.

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Melody Lanzatella
Community Member
4 years ago

She had it coming.

Judy Gustaitis
Community Member
4 years ago

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF GETTING AHOLD OF THE WAITER AND TELLING HIM TO BRING TWO CHECKS HIS AND HERS

Kathi Glomb
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have split the check. Yes, she had a plan, but to stick her with his part of the check was wrong.

Kathi Glomb
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have split the check. Yes she had a motive, but to stick her with his part was wrong.

Sarita Andrade
Community Member
4 years ago

Well done. Perhaps she will think twice before doing that to someone again. She was so rude that there is no doubt in my mind she would have just walked away if he had asked to split the bill.

Allana Rose
Community Member
4 years ago

I would have been pissed too, esp. since she made it so clear she was only in it for a free expensive meal. That was your mistake though. Never take a 1st date out to an expensive place. You need to get to know them a little better than that. A quick meal and a movie is always good or just meeting them for a coffee is even better. Than you will know right away what's up with them.

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

quick meal sure, but you cant talk at a movie while its playing..well not without angering the others there to see it

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Wendell Spicer
Community Member
4 years ago

It was her intent that makes the difference - she was taking advantage of him. That makes him way less wrong.

Nicole Holt
Community Member
4 years ago

Her "intent" is 100% theoretical because he never asked what it was. It would have taken a man with balls to ask that; Mr DinenDash has none.

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Brianna LaPoint
Community Member
4 years ago

Its karma plain and simple. Next time dont treat a guy like hes a wallet and not a person.

Kelly
Community Member
4 years ago

That's the way he got free dinner. He should have shared the bill.

Daniel Losinger
Community Member
4 years ago

Fake

Satori
Community Member
4 years ago

Dead giveaway

Gillian Black
Community Member
4 years ago

good on you mate she didnt dress for dinner she was out for all she could get you did the right thing. oh to have been a fly on the wall when she got stuck with the bill. to all you who think he did wrong put yourselves in his shoes and see how you would have felt,i mean she didnt even talk to him to busy eating the creme of the creme

A Ghost
Community Member
4 years ago

She might always dress like that and she might have thought it was a low stress date. Maybe she thought he was weird and she was going to pay for her end. We only know his side. As someone said before he did exactly what she did. He snuck out and left her with an expensive bill. It's not like he didn't eat anything.

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Shawn Munck
Community Member
4 years ago

everyone is fucking retarded. i would have left without saying shit either. she lacked the basics like talking to him. paid more attention to the waiter than him. i think he did the right thing.

Eamonn Anderson
Community Member
4 years ago

guys chill tf out he made a decision and she clearly was going for the expensive give me food faire so leave him alone this is genius on his part

Amina Hays
Community Member
4 years ago

Considering she wore sweat pants and barely spoke to him, I think it's safe to say she didn't intend on splitting the bill. Serves her right. Nob. If it were a man dressed in sweatpants, not speaking, ordering the most expensive things on the menu, if the woman had run away, all the idiot feminists would be applauded and saying "you go girl, he's a dick!" and other deeply inane remarks. I say the boy did good.

A Ghost
Community Member
4 years ago

As a feminist I would say that in both situations both people who left are in the wrong. You shouldn't leave someone and stick them with the bill just because you think they might do it to you. If someone hit you out of the blue and then used the excuse that they thought you were going to hit them you would be mad. It doesn't matter he was guy. It matters that he ran out on her.

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Patricia Katzova
Community Member
4 years ago

They`re both animals... eating steak yuck! It`s a dead body!

im lost
Community Member
4 years ago

Read on MGTOW blog a guy buys a $5 jacket at thrift shop to use as decoy ie goes on a date with a dinner whore puts jacket on chair , after figures out she is a dinner whore says hey I got to go to the toilet, leaving jacket on the chair and leaves the venue her alone, brilliant idea

Joseph Agnello
Community Member
4 years ago

never confuse kindness and being a gentleman in a man for ignorance and stupidity.

Annah Hinman
Community Member
4 years ago

I say, "good for him." She was a free loader. He played her at her own game

cybermerlin2000
Community Member
4 years ago

Its a common scam. Girl gets guy to take them for a meal after a few days of flirting. Eats like a privileged pig then disappears without even saying thank you. They have no intention of any kind of romantic involvement whether its a one night stand or a committed relationship If you feel that something is wrong then go with your gut. She was running up a hefty bill and did not put any effort into her appearance for a first date. That in itself would set off alarm bells

Craig Freger
Community Member
4 years ago

Anyone thinking he should have stayed and asked her to split the bill is a fool. She already showed her character. What do you think her reaction would have been once he said they would be splitting the bill? Right. The only thing "splitting" would be her.

AngelofThursdays
Community Member
4 years ago

She was clearly trying to get a nice meal for free with minimal effort. The not talking to him part was shitty (also, sweatpants on a date? C'mon). Good for him for bailing! I don't blame him at all.

JoAnne Klein
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have known first thing: she obviously had no respect either for herself showing up in sweat pants, or any regard of how she presented herself to this guy. As soon as he saw her, he should have taken her to McDonald's, but absolutely NOT to an expensive restaurant

Lindsy Blake
Community Member
4 years ago

DINE & DITCH? Hardly what a gentleman would do but I get it! Grow some CHONEYS & talk to her about being rude & a PIG! Then ask her nicely for her portion of the bill! Then see how she handles being called out!

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

I'm not sure if he did the talking about being rude, but he tried the ENTIRE meal to talk to her, she basically gave him shrugs and grunts the entire meal, and ignored him, you really think shes going to even listen t o what he has to say?...even if hes boring, come up with a topic herself if shes THAT bored

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Peggy O'Rourke
Community Member
4 years ago

I learned a long time ago, never let a man buy you a meal on your first few dates. They immediately expect sex to go with it and you're trapped.

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

no Peggy, they really dont...MOST are just trying to get to know you

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Pop Eno
Community Member
4 years ago

On behalf of all men whom have been abused in this manner, good job. You did what obviously most people wouldn't have. However, your actions will definitely make her think twice the next time.

Asper Rated
Community Member
4 years ago

Any date who orders like that on a 1st date is trash.

Kjorn
Community Member
4 years ago

what do you expect today when people who go in tinder like you go in the butcher to buy meat?

Gerald Patient
Community Member
4 years ago

Played at her own game why should he pay she deserved it

Asper Rated
Community Member
4 years ago

TOTALLY cool to have done that. I actually did that too. I've read some of the moronic responses about "honor" below and those people are full of it. You think that hag is going to give you $80? Try a scene and her walking out. I'm SO glad you showed that sweatpant wearing "lady of the evening" the way it works!

Kimberly Grubb
Community Member
4 years ago

It’s called karma. She deserved it. Fuck her.

Shawn Munck
Community Member
4 years ago

Everyone is retarded. i would have done the same thing. its not immature. he was being used. she paid more attention to the waiter than him.

Emily Judd
Community Member
4 years ago

I mostly agree with you, but downvoted you for using the word "retarded" as an insult. Not okay.

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Jerry Graham
Community Member
4 years ago

Because making a scene was better? No need to give a gold digger her 15 minutes. Good move...

Hari Onago
Community Member
4 years ago

But this way he became the "gold digger". He should have paid for his meal and leave.

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Angela Huber
Community Member
4 years ago

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What if she hadn't easten for a few days & was so hungry she didn't want to talk much until she was done eating? If people want to have a better conversation then don't go to dinner. He CHOSE the restaurant & wasn't forced to choose one so pricey. My entire life all I ever heard from guys was "Women never eat enough when we go to dinner" or "She only ordered a salad" "Why did I waste my money on dinner if she wasn't going to eat anything" NOW, This guy is pissed off because she was eating & not talking more? Sounds like something a lot of women complain about. He never talks to me while he's eating, watching sports,with his friends, etc." or Men say we talk too much. WTF DO YOU REALLY EXPECT? They chatted on Tinder then through texts. She insisted dinner but didn't choose where they went. What a sniveling douchebag. Maybe take your date somewhere that you afford and save the fancier places for the 3rd -4th date when you know her & her dinner/eating habits.

Aunt Messy
Community Member
4 years ago

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Take it as a lesson and move on. Why did you take a stranger to a restaurant you couldn't afford? Why not meet for coffee in the middle of the afternoon instead? You put way too much freight on meeting someone for the first time, and you won't do it again. .... Oh, and to all the people calling you rude for leaving - there have been situations where women have done this all the time. I did it once. I was just completely creeped out and just a little afraid, so I left out the back door of a restaurant and took a cab home. It happens.

CatShatBrix
Community Member
4 years ago

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I thought it was great! She’s probably ripped off people before, and won’t easily receive punishment as this can’t be brought on legal grounds. That’ll probably show her.

Bon Ofasitch
Community Member
4 years ago

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All woman use men...whats new?

Pamela24
Community Member
4 years ago

Your absurd generalization sure is...

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Kristaps Sungailis
Community Member
4 years ago

It’s sounds like she used him, but it is only from his side of the story. What every really happened, just leaving is terrible thing to do. Don’t be little ++++ and own situation, not run away from it!

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi
Community Member
4 years ago

Right! Be a gentleman and ask her what is going on, why is she so not interested on the date. THEN you can tell her to pay her meal, if you think she tries to take advantage on a free meal.

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TheBoredPanda
Community Member
4 years ago

I dunno, maybe slip the money for your part to the waiter on your way out so she only gets stuck with her part to pay?

Lisa Michelle
Community Member
4 years ago

<3

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Rukmania
Community Member
4 years ago

This is ridiculous. Something hardly worth congratulating or justifying. The post about this talks about heroic dogs. This man is hardly a hero and just a dog. She definitely deserved it IF getting free food was her motive, BUT it still wasn't fair OR mature to ditch her.

Nicky OldfieldDesciple
Community Member
4 years ago

Do NOT call this man a dog. Dogs are wonderful friendly loyal beautiful animals. Calling this man a dog is an insult to dogs just like calling her a b*itch is an insult to a dog.

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Tjeezers
Community Member
4 years ago

Its not cool to sneak out. You should have kept the honor to yourself and take it as a lesson. You did to her what you thought she did to you. Lame situation

A Ghost
Community Member
4 years ago

She could have been planning on paying for herself. It's not fair for him to run out on her

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Monilip
Community Member
4 years ago

So you did EXACTLY what you were thinking she was going to do? That is nice... how about, next time, instead of running away like a child you could try to TALK as adult to another person?

Lisa Michelle
Community Member
4 years ago

Love button required for this comment

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Bobby Frank James
Community Member
4 years ago

I had a similar situation with my date doing exactly the same, minus the sweatpants, but plus dropping "that Jig can make a drink" when the African American bartender did a good job. So in normal situations I always pay, no offense to anyone who does it different but I was raised to be a gentle man until the lady insists on splitting. In this case however, I went to the waiter after excusing myself to the bathroom, paid for my half, told him the situation, and to my surprise, he came right out with, "buddy, go to your car, delete her off of every social platform, and go home. I got you, i'm gonna stall going over to her with the bill until I see your car leave." He had seen the whole date interaction and knew exactly what was up. I gave him a pound and headed out the back door. Took his advice, wiped out all contact and bolted. Never heard from her again. I went back a few days later to the restaurant and gave my man a gift certificate to a local restaurant down the road.

Jeanne Richard
Community Member
4 years ago

Good on you for being civil about a bad date and paying your own and telling the waiter. But as for normally paying the full meal meaning you're a gentleman? That is super outdated, even from a woman's standpoint.

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Pamela24
Community Member
4 years ago

I like the idea of splitting the bill in half. Or on insisting she should pay for what she ordered. But leaving seems just so rude.

Georgia Young
Community Member
4 years ago

I think it was rude of her, #1 who orders that much food on a first date with someone?? Dead give away, right there. #2, talking more to the waiter, not good, also rude. #3, split the bill, hmm, that was fair but would she have created a scene?? I think he did the right thing, making her foot the bill for what it seemed like, her using him. Who shows up to a first date in sweat pants?? He should have left right then!!!!

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Hollie Newton
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have gone to bathroom come out found a waiter or something explained the dealio and then paid for his half of the meal

KK
Community Member
4 years ago

I liked the dog that saved the baby more than this """hero""".

Todd Zabek
Community Member
4 years ago

We need to stop the antiquated concept that the man is to pay.

Hari Onago
Community Member
4 years ago

Is this an American custom? Because, at least, where I live each one pays for their own meal or someone pays for both but next time the other one does and so on.

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Shana
Community Member
4 years ago

To be honest, he could have just asked a waiter to let him pay for his part of the bill and then run off. (To avoid confrontation with a possible "well I dont have any money with me anyway", making him still pay for everything.) Because now he just did to her what she might have been doing to him. (Although, going to a nice restaurant in your sweatpants, doing zero effort or showing zero interest in the date,... Well, that does kinda look like you're just in it for a free dinner.)

Jeanne Richard
Community Member
4 years ago

To me, actually, it screams shut in that really needed an excuse to go out for a good meal and feel slightly less awkward than going alone.

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zef rose
Community Member
4 years ago

So, it seems this guy is proud of what he did, ie: running off and sticking her with his meal bill. Hmm. What a creep. Of course she called him a fucker, because that is what he is.

Star Colin
Community Member
4 years ago

He could have asked for separate checks.

Cookie
Community Member
4 years ago

At least pay for your own share before running.

Sharon Piott
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have paid for his meal. Period.

Shruti Naik
Community Member
4 years ago

This is just his version of the story. We don't know if she really meant to use him or just found the food more interesting than him. Anyway no matter what her motive was, I would have still stayed through the meal and split the cheque if I were him.

Lila DeWolffe
Community Member
4 years ago

It would also have been mostly acceptable if he'd found an employee and paid his half of the bill, then left. The way he did it makes him an a*****e.

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Jonathan Eatsalot
Community Member
4 years ago

He is more like her then he realizes

Lila DeWolffe
Community Member
4 years ago

He's more like her than *she* might be, if you think about it.

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Dan Davis
Community Member
4 years ago

Excuse me but I tend to think this man is trying to write a novel "Fifty Shades of Bullshit."

Shannon McKee
Community Member
4 years ago

I doubt his word. More than likely he intentionally tried to pull something on her and is deflecting blame by making it seem like she was trying to pull a fast one on her. He was the one who picked the restaurant, not her. I bet he told her to order whatever she wanted and then he sneaked out and left the bill to her.

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

he probably did, but didnt expect 4 glasses of a middle of the line wine(unless it was the most expensive they had), and to order a main course enough for 2 people to eat by herself.

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Korvina Krow
Community Member
4 years ago

Wow, so this asshole dines-n-dashes? He could have at least paid his share. Yea, seems like maybe he used her and is giving a shitty story about her... he is the one who dined and dashed. He admitted it. "I left the bathroom, headed out the door, got in my car, and drove home." I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him, not text fucker 12 times.

Ramona Hedges
Community Member
4 years ago

its no okay to just split, unless your afraid of something.

Duane Yaiser
Community Member
4 years ago

He was afraid of being taken advantage of.

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Lulu Machete
Community Member
4 years ago

Clearly that meal was not in Australia, it's super cheap.

William Bonner
Community Member
4 years ago

He ate. He ran. Theft. He agreed on dinner, he chose the restaurant. He should have stuck to the plan. If she didn't offer to split the bill...well, some lessons are costly.

Leslie Frostig Miller
Community Member
4 years ago

She's the one that insisted on dinner for their first meet up, then orders an appetizer and two entree's and 4 glasses of wine and comes dressed as a slob? She was looking for a free meal, an expensive one at that while offering nothing, not even decent conversation, in return. She got what she deserved.

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Debbie Smith
Community Member
4 years ago

Best thing to do would be to go to the manager (away from where she can see you) and pay for YOUR part of what was consumed and THEN leave.

Larry Bundy Jr.
Community Member
4 years ago

Based on his description of her (wearing sweat pants to a date and etc) I feel kind of bad for her. Sounds to me like she's super poor and uses tinder as a means to eat. If that's the case though you should engage your date and order something reasonable and not drink 4 glasses of wine. My reaction would have been to just walk up and pay the bill when I "went to the bathroom" and then left. Wouldn't stick her with a bill but I'd make her mooch a ride off someone else if I felt she had mooched off me enough for the evening.

jkevinga
Community Member
1 year ago

Larry Bundy Jr. like

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Friedlander Rosenzweig
Community Member
4 years ago

On the off chance her intentions were pure, I think you should contact her to arrange payment for your portion. You can always transmit the funds you owe without ever seeing her again.

Brent Kaufman
Community Member
4 years ago

In general, I would say that he should pay for his part of the meal, but in this case, it seems that there is a side to say that the entire evening was based on deception and that he never would have gone to such a fancy restaurant, or out to eat at all, if it wasn't for her consciously misrepresenting herself. Paying on a first date isn't about which gender should pay. Anytime one person "invites" another person to go somewhere, the invitor should pay. That seems like common sense. Whether it's a date, or if I just invite a male friend of mine (I'm a guy) to go get a sandwich, the invitor is saying "I want to take you out to such and such..." Taking someone means that you supply the transportation and the means for the event itself. "Come to my place for dinner or a BBQ. We'll be having wine, salad and steak and potatoes. Your half will cost $*****.**".

Laurie Price-Soto
Community Member
4 years ago

This story is from his perspective only. I wonder what hers is. Did he wear an offensive sexist t-shirt, and make requests for sex constantly? Did he denigrate her outfit/make-up/looks? Did he flirt/make passes at every other female present? They're BOTH to blame: even if he didn't do any of the above, and was a "nice guy," bottom line is he dined and dashed, leaving a stranger with the bill.

Debbie Walsh
Community Member
4 years ago

I would have left my half with the waiter then ditched

Sissie Burlew
Community Member
4 years ago

I personally think he should have paid for his food before he left. He did say the date wasn't going well.

Alina Astalus
Community Member
4 years ago

Which is way one of the first thing to do is tell the other person you plan to pay only for what you order. You know, like it's normal nowadays. I feel very weird when guys want to pay for me, especially really soon after meeting them...

Jake MacLeod
Community Member
4 years ago

usually the guy wants to be respectful, and not show you he's like the guys who only want one thing EVER...

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iamvectorious
Community Member
4 years ago

Imagine changing the situation where the girl ditches the GUY... they girl would have made up a 100 excuses why he ditched him... and everyone would think it was OK.

Morgiana
Community Member
4 years ago

Not if she ran away without paying her share.

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Fabulous
Community Member
4 years ago

He should have bought the cheapest thing, left money to pay for what he bought and left