Guy Finds A Date On Tinder, However After Meeting Her He Soon Realizes Something Is Not Right
Dating in this day and age is an increasingly fraught affair, with the breakdown of previous ‘norms’ almost complete and new rules and expectations far from clear in a technology obsessed world.
Online dating and apps like Tinder do have the advantage of getting to know your date pretty well before actually meeting, it is common to exchange texts for days and have a pretty solid idea of who you are flirting with through their Facebook profile etc.
However the following story might make you think twice about jumping straight into fancy dinners and weekends away. Imgur user minilogo37 quickly realised that his ‘date’ was more interested in the material benefits that a date can bring, rather than his company, and he was being played.
What to do in such a situation? Grit your teeth and pay up, as the gentleman was previously expected to do? Insist on a bill split, with a potentially embarrassing confrontation? Quietly explain the situation to the waiter, pay him your share and leave quietly?
Scroll down below to see how minilogo37 dealt with his unscrupulous ‘date,’ and the ensuing discussion about modern dating ethics. What’s your take on the situation? Let us know in the comments!
Commenters were quick to applaud his actions
But some had other ideas
What is your take on the situation?
It’s sounds like she used him, but it is only from his side of the story. What every really happened, just leaving is terrible thing to do. Don’t be little ++++ and own situation, not run away from it!
Right! Be a gentleman and ask her what is going on, why is she so not interested on the date. THEN you can tell her to pay her meal, if you think she tries to take advantage on a free meal.
If you're smart you'll agree to go Dutch before you go out with them! I don't expect anyone to pay for me.
Adam Maye, way to fail troll. Sergio wasn't saying pay for the meal when he says be a gentleman, he's saying just don't run out on her and stick her with the bill on a guess, be upstanding and actually ask her what was up with her behavior instead of running away.
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How dare you say "be a gentleman" you sexist prick. Nice social standards you put out for men. Better pay for every meal even if the girl is taking advantage of you!
There's nothing in this post that indicates she wasn't going to pay for her food, just that she wasn't interested in HIM!
Exactly. Considering her being so dressed down, for all we know she may have been a sort of shut in and really wanted to get out for a good meal, but felt super awkward doing it alone. Hell, even not being a shut in I remember the first time I went out to see a movie by myself I felt super awkward being at the theatre alone.
Where in this story, Jesus, is there any indication of her using him? He took her out. With no guidelines, she ordered and ate. He didn't know for sure whether she was going to pay, yet he ran out on HIS tab. How is that right? Who got shat on? She did.
I kind of hope some guy does this to you and then you'll see it's not bad of a thing. Don't be a person who runs up a bill then leaves. Also, women want equality so why does he have to pay for her food?
Men should not HAVE to pay for women, but where in this scenario does it indicate he had to pay?
oh so he should still pay so he doesn't hurt the special little snowflakes feelings? you're stupid. the girl has definitely done this before so shes just getting her own medicine
Oh so this girl should pay for this guy because he's a special snowflake? Isn't it just common sense to pay for your own food? How do you think it is a cool thing to do to bail out like that?
Never said he had to pay her meal, I said to ask her to pay HER meal if he's sure she's taking advantage. Btw, if the date was with another guy I would do the same thing, no sexist here. Have a nice day.
Where in this read does it state she wasn't going to pay for her own meal? Furthermore, where does it state a date can't order what she did? I don't understand the problem here, except with what he did. He stiffed her not the other way around, so why are you blaming her. They both should have made it clear from the start who was paying for what.
Sergio, he TRIED to talk to her the whole me, she ignored him, when the bill came around she would probably just walk out, making him pay for all of it anyway, either way he loses..wheres the incentive?
You said it, probably.
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That's a womans response. The ol do as i say not as I do rule eh? I would've eaten MY meal and left her with that bill too!
Sexist pig
I dunno, maybe slip the money for your part to the waiter on your way out so she only gets stuck with her part to pay?
<3
This is ridiculous. Something hardly worth congratulating or justifying. The post about this talks about heroic dogs. This man is hardly a hero and just a dog. She definitely deserved it IF getting free food was her motive, BUT it still wasn't fair OR mature to ditch her.
Do NOT call this man a dog. Dogs are wonderful friendly loyal beautiful animals. Calling this man a dog is an insult to dogs just like calling her a b*itch is an insult to a dog.
i agree :) i apologize for disrespecting dogs like that.
Yes. I think he could tell her that he will pay for his meal since it's a first date and if she insists he could turn the tables on her and saying something smart make her pay for her own meal. If he had shown her that he got it that she wanted a free dinner I don't think she would insist. I don't believe there are women like her out there. She doesn't have any pride???
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American Girls are so Entitled.. and ALWAYS assume that on 1st Dates they must be Treated to a FREE Dinner.. Going Dutch is a no no for them...
Its not cool to sneak out. You should have kept the honor to yourself and take it as a lesson. You did to her what you thought she did to you. Lame situation
She could have been planning on paying for herself. It's not fair for him to run out on her
He's the one who picked a restaurant he couldn't afford. SHE assumed he wouldn't have picked it if he couldn't. So who's at fault? Why should she push a lettuce leaf around on an empty plate and drink tap water?
It doesn't matter what her intent was. It doesn't matter what he *thought* her intent was. You don't walk out of a restaurant without paying.
Exactly. You pay for your food, period. Otherwise it’s theft.
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He didn’t steal, he left a member of his party to pay the bill.
he should have just paid for himself. modern times says its not the mans responsibility to pay
I agree it's not the man's responsibility to pay, but nothing here suggests he had to pay. I personally think the inviter pays for the invitee, but that's just me. I like to make it clear from the get-go.
'Modern times' (and before modern times, as far as that goes) etiquette says that the person who invites, pays. So, yes, if the man invites, it IS the man's responsibility to pay.
So you did EXACTLY what you were thinking she was going to do? That is nice... how about, next time, instead of running away like a child you could try to TALK as adult to another person?
Love button required for this comment
And get a "yep" I suppose.
he tried to talk to her the ENTIRE meal, she gave non-committal sounds and 1-word answers she gave him nothing, not even respect.
Talking to her for conversation is very different from talking to her with the purpose of determining her intent. Even with noncommittal answers for conversation even the most awkward people will have a more substantial response if they're accused of something.
I had a similar situation with my date doing exactly the same, minus the sweatpants, but plus dropping "that Jig can make a drink" when the African American bartender did a good job. So in normal situations I always pay, no offense to anyone who does it different but I was raised to be a gentle man until the lady insists on splitting. In this case however, I went to the waiter after excusing myself to the bathroom, paid for my half, told him the situation, and to my surprise, he came right out with, "buddy, go to your car, delete her off of every social platform, and go home. I got you, i'm gonna stall going over to her with the bill until I see your car leave." He had seen the whole date interaction and knew exactly what was up. I gave him a pound and headed out the back door. Took his advice, wiped out all contact and bolted. Never heard from her again. I went back a few days later to the restaurant and gave my man a gift certificate to a local restaurant down the road.
Good on you for being civil about a bad date and paying your own and telling the waiter. But as for normally paying the full meal meaning you're a gentleman? That is super outdated, even from a woman's standpoint.
No it's totally not outdated what outdated is a bunch of feminist saying that it is outdated like the man said he is a gentleman. Having said that I do believe a first date should be something simple like a lunch or simply coffee and talking but if a man ask me out for dinner on an official date then he is saying he is paying for it chivalry is not dead and it is not outdated
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great social standards saying raised to be a "gentleman". Woman want equal rights they are not entitled to free meals because its the social norm that men pay. youre just a cuck buddy. Enjoy wage slaving and giving all your income to your wife that does nothing all day.
I don't know what you mean women want equal rights and having a man offered to pay for a woman's dinner on a date those are two different things chivalry is dead in many ways but traditional being a gentleman is not and it's still very much appreciated to red-blooded American women. If the meal is going to be split than it needs to be agreed upon upfront that it's going to be Dutch Treat. I'm so glad I was raised in a generation where men were men knew how to be gentleman and respectful of women not like today where these modern feminist Millennial types have pussified them all
he said a gentle man, not the same as gentleman though MOST often they go hand in hand, but there are times the women is wrong and wont admit it...
I like the idea of splitting the bill in half. Or on insisting she should pay for what she ordered. But leaving seems just so rude.
I think it was rude of her, #1 who orders that much food on a first date with someone?? Dead give away, right there. #2, talking more to the waiter, not good, also rude. #3, split the bill, hmm, that was fair but would she have created a scene?? I think he did the right thing, making her foot the bill for what it seemed like, her using him. Who shows up to a first date in sweat pants?? He should have left right then!!!!
Um, no. I've been on a couple dates where the guy turned out to be a real douche. The waiter as a more dignified man, and more interesting when he asked if there was anything else. And my dates did not ask anything interesting, just shit that required yes or no answers, with long ackward silences with one, and the other wouldn't shut up, wouldn't stop talking about stupid shit.
Who takes someone to a restaurant they can't afford on a first date? He didn't exactly cover himself with glory here.
He could have been lying. He could have told her to order whatever she wanted.
To be honest I know some people who feel a lot more comfortable in that kind of clothing and I would have no issue with it.
Korvina Krow you didnt like him, but sat and ate with him anyway? your no better, thinking EVERYTHING must be interesting just to you....thats your issue...but if he was that interesting, hand him half the money for the meal and leave if you've eaten anything at all, otherwise just leave....
He should have gone to bathroom come out found a waiter or something explained the dealio and then paid for his half of the meal
I liked the dog that saved the baby more than this """hero""".
We need to stop the antiquated concept that the man is to pay.
Is this an American custom? Because, at least, where I live each one pays for their own meal or someone pays for both but next time the other one does and so on.
It's very American. There's a whole thing about being a "gentleman". As a gentleman you have to do stuff like pay for everything and hold doors for women. It's pretty antiquated.
Personally if I invite someone over dinner, especially to a fancy place I offer to pay the full check, as it was my idea to go out and I chose the restaurant and the other person might not be able to pay. This is regardless of the other person's gender obviously. They usually refuse though, or I tell them they'll pay for dessert, or our next meal.
Super antiquated. Even as a teen girl in the 90s, even major dates I always insisted on going dutch. I think I only ever had one guy protest so much as to outdo me on insisting he pay the full bill and it kind of made it a little awkward. He was very sweet, but overly focused on doing everything, including getting the car door for me, which was just awkward too. Getting the door where more than one person is approaching, regardless of gender of anyone, is just plain polite for both men and women to do. But a man getting a car door for a woman is awkward, pointless and time consuming. The time it takes him to go around and get it, she could have been out and joining him already.
To be honest, he could have just asked a waiter to let him pay for his part of the bill and then run off. (To avoid confrontation with a possible "well I dont have any money with me anyway", making him still pay for everything.) Because now he just did to her what she might have been doing to him. (Although, going to a nice restaurant in your sweatpants, doing zero effort or showing zero interest in the date,... Well, that does kinda look like you're just in it for a free dinner.)
To me, actually, it screams shut in that really needed an excuse to go out for a good meal and feel slightly less awkward than going alone.
So, it seems this guy is proud of what he did, ie: running off and sticking her with his meal bill. Hmm. What a creep. Of course she called him a fucker, because that is what he is.
He could have asked for separate checks.
At least pay for your own share before running.
He should have paid for his meal. Period.
This is just his version of the story. We don't know if she really meant to use him or just found the food more interesting than him. Anyway no matter what her motive was, I would have still stayed through the meal and split the cheque if I were him.
It would also have been mostly acceptable if he'd found an employee and paid his half of the bill, then left. The way he did it makes him an a*****e.
He is more like her then he realizes
He's more like her than *she* might be, if you think about it.
Excuse me but I tend to think this man is trying to write a novel "Fifty Shades of Bullshit."
I doubt his word. More than likely he intentionally tried to pull something on her and is deflecting blame by making it seem like she was trying to pull a fast one on her. He was the one who picked the restaurant, not her. I bet he told her to order whatever she wanted and then he sneaked out and left the bill to her.
he probably did, but didnt expect 4 glasses of a middle of the line wine(unless it was the most expensive they had), and to order a main course enough for 2 people to eat by herself.
Doesn't matter *what* he 'expected'. He invited, he chose the restaurant, *he* is the one who should pay for it.
Wow, so this asshole dines-n-dashes? He could have at least paid his share. Yea, seems like maybe he used her and is giving a shitty story about her... he is the one who dined and dashed. He admitted it. "I left the bathroom, headed out the door, got in my car, and drove home." I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him, not text fucker 12 times.
its no okay to just split, unless your afraid of something.
He was afraid of being taken advantage of.
He still should have paid for his half of the meal.
Clearly that meal was not in Australia, it's super cheap.
He ate. He ran. Theft. He agreed on dinner, he chose the restaurant. He should have stuck to the plan. If she didn't offer to split the bill...well, some lessons are costly.
She's the one that insisted on dinner for their first meet up, then orders an appetizer and two entree's and 4 glasses of wine and comes dressed as a slob? She was looking for a free meal, an expensive one at that while offering nothing, not even decent conversation, in return. She got what she deserved.
If you went into a store with the INTENT to steal and got arrested, is that fair? You don't KNOW what her motive was. Since he didn't know, he should have asked.
Best thing to do would be to go to the manager (away from where she can see you) and pay for YOUR part of what was consumed and THEN leave.
Based on his description of her (wearing sweat pants to a date and etc) I feel kind of bad for her. Sounds to me like she's super poor and uses tinder as a means to eat. If that's the case though you should engage your date and order something reasonable and not drink 4 glasses of wine. My reaction would have been to just walk up and pay the bill when I "went to the bathroom" and then left. Wouldn't stick her with a bill but I'd make her mooch a ride off someone else if I felt she had mooched off me enough for the evening.
Larry Bundy Jr. like
On the off chance her intentions were pure, I think you should contact her to arrange payment for your portion. You can always transmit the funds you owe without ever seeing her again.
In general, I would say that he should pay for his part of the meal, but in this case, it seems that there is a side to say that the entire evening was based on deception and that he never would have gone to such a fancy restaurant, or out to eat at all, if it wasn't for her consciously misrepresenting herself. Paying on a first date isn't about which gender should pay. Anytime one person "invites" another person to go somewhere, the invitor should pay. That seems like common sense. Whether it's a date, or if I just invite a male friend of mine (I'm a guy) to go get a sandwich, the invitor is saying "I want to take you out to such and such..." Taking someone means that you supply the transportation and the means for the event itself. "Come to my place for dinner or a BBQ. We'll be having wine, salad and steak and potatoes. Your half will cost $*****.**".
This story is from his perspective only. I wonder what hers is. Did he wear an offensive sexist t-shirt, and make requests for sex constantly? Did he denigrate her outfit/make-up/looks? Did he flirt/make passes at every other female present? They're BOTH to blame: even if he didn't do any of the above, and was a "nice guy," bottom line is he dined and dashed, leaving a stranger with the bill.
I would have left my half with the waiter then ditched
I personally think he should have paid for his food before he left. He did say the date wasn't going well.
Which is way one of the first thing to do is tell the other person you plan to pay only for what you order. You know, like it's normal nowadays. I feel very weird when guys want to pay for me, especially really soon after meeting them...
usually the guy wants to be respectful, and not show you he's like the guys who only want one thing EVER...
Imagine changing the situation where the girl ditches the GUY... they girl would have made up a 100 excuses why he ditched him... and everyone would think it was OK.
Not if she ran away without paying her share.
He should have bought the cheapest thing, left money to pay for what he bought and left
Even Greta (the poster) isn't convinced.
Whoa...
He's fine, other than he should have covered his part of the bill before he left. Then he'd be flawless. As a woman I am nervous about going on a date where I can't pay for my own stuff even if he says he'll cover it. What if he is a complete jerk? What if he assumes dinner means fringe benefits? What if he is really creepy? I want the freedom that at least being ABLE to pay my own bill gives me. If I need out for whatever reason >I< can quietly slip away, pay my own bill and leave (and I also like to meet there so I have my own vehicle right there too). I don't want to stick anyone for my bill if it isn't working out and I also don't want to feel beholden to put up with stuff that I shouldn't either...and as for what I order on a date on his dime, I pick a couple reasonable things as possibilities and ask what he thinks....the one he says is a good idea is the one I pick...that way he has control over the bill...it's only fair and right.
He should have paid his half, sneaking out was despicable, in fact he should have ended the meal earlier, and called it a night.
For the record, you don't know whether she was going to pay for her own meal, but assumed she was on the take. You snuck out of the restaurant and stiffed her with the tab. You ARE a "fucker". What you should have done was made who's paying for what clear from the jump so this silly situation was avoided. She did nothing wrong, you did. I don't understand your complaint when you did EXACTLY (or even worse by having snuck out) what you THOUGHT she was about to do. #FUCKER
He should have paid for his half of the meal and asked her directly why she didn’t seem interested in getting to know him . Re: Is the man expected to pay in this day and age ? Until women get equal rights of pay to men then yes he should pay the lions share or at least offer ( assuming they are from similar social backgrounds , therefore careers)
There is probably a better way to handle such a situation but i am glad this gold-digger got her just desserts (pun intended),. If someone did this to my brother I would be furious!
I went out on a couple dates (not from Tinder!) and I tried to pay for the coffee and then dinner, but the gentleman insisted. I did not, however, go crazy with the food - chicken wings and a glass of water was all I ordered. There is nothing wrong with the other person paying for the meal if they insist.but that Tinder woman sounds crazy!
It's not dated for men to pay for meals.
Should've found the server and given them cash for his half if he was going to leave like that.
What he had right there is known as a Dinner Whore and he taught her a lesson... but I would have walked out as soon as I saw sweatpants.
Totally wrong to just walk out on her...that is a loser attitude, of not dealing with a difficult situation and running away from it. Right thing to do would have been to pay for your share of the bill, and man up to her on your thoughts about the date.
Right, and he never even mentioned what he himself because we're all supposed to believe he's a saint. I'm calling bullsh*t especially when he doesn't give all the details and is acting like he's so innocent and hides any wrongdoing of his own. Besides where does it say she wasn't going to pay her own bill. Also of course if I'm going to restaurant I want fancy food otherwise might as well have stayed home and cooked dinner myself.
Two wrongs don't make a right. You could have let her know up front that you would not pay for all of it. Once she started ordering all that food and the drinks, you should have told her you expect some help with the bill. Sneaking out and sticking her with the bill just shows her that you are a spineless jerk and that rather than confront a person with an issue, you would rather run away so you don't have to deal with it. What she did was bad. What you did was worse.
I like what he did, if that date went as he explains.
Genius. Pure Genius. Well played.
Slip the waiter a $50 for you side plus tip and post.
The entire story sounds made up.
Showing up in sweats would already be a deal breaker. I date ladies, and I do not use a hookup site.
Is she a bitch? Nobody know. Is he a shithead? Definitely
So she's rude. He's the one in this story who broke the law. I hope he went to jail for it. Ever heard two wrongs don't make it right?
Who turns up on a first date in sweatpants? And what kinda "gentleman" bolts? Dude, call her up and marry her... Made for each other!!!
He should have called the waiter over and told him separate checks and watched her reaction.
I think it's hilarious, come on now. She wore track pants and didn't engage in the date and ate a pricey meal. She's probably done this numerous times and had the table turned on her for a change LMAO .
Well, it sounds like she has a scheme going. She finally got played back. I would have got up for the restroom. Given the waiter a credit card for what I ate and the slid out the back door. I'm no longer on the market and I hear all these awful stories. If I were having to date again, I'd make sure that it was agreed upon that we either split it or pay our own way or like I get the movie if he gets the drinks sort of thing. One, if I don't like him, I don't want to be beholden to anybody. Two, I make my own money in this day and age. Three, I'm not paying for his ass either.
I would have left my half with the waiter-and ditched
She was a
They both behaved badly.
I would pay for what I had say goodbye and leave
Nothing heroic about his actions, if he felt she was using him for a free meal he should of spoke up. Instead of sticking her with the entire bill and doing to her what she possibly intended to do to him he could of approached the waiter and gave him his part of the bill then walked out. At the same time took it as a lesson learned, but if she was only giving 1 word answers the entire time I would of stop her from even ordering past the appetizers.
She had no interest in this guy at all and tried scamming him for an expensive meal. There are woman, and not a few men that do this regularly. Glad it bit her in the ass.
Pretty lousy thing to do, even if she was trying to get a free meal out of you. I don't know why anyone would think he deserves applause for sticking her with both meals. Asking the server to split the bills would have been the best thing to do.. Not sneak out like a weasel.
Who knows? She may have been feeding herself energy for a wild night to come. He'll never know.
He should have chosen a cheaper place, it was just a first date. Other than that, he did the right thing. He taught her a lesson.
I can't agree with what he did, but I can certainly understand his reason. On the other hand do you wonder if she snuck out too? or if she got stuck paying the whole bill? How did she get out of there? I dunno, I have a conscience and not paying at least my share would weigh on me.
Hah! I actually know a girl who used to do this quite regularly on tinder dates. She had exactly the same thing happen to her...Didn't stop her from continuing to use tinder dates for free meals though. Best part was, the same guy did it to her twice!!
He dined and dashed on her. He admitted it. He's the dick, not her. I wouldn't have texted him 12 times. I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him for that.
People are dumb
The issue isn't what she ate as some folks are trying to make out but the fact that she was just there to mooch that was the issue. Most guys don't mind paying if we get the pleasure of your company and a decent conversation as we get to know you. He didn't get that he was just a meal ticket to her. She deserved to learn first hand why that sucks.
You have proof that she 'was just there to mooch'? Nope. You weren't there & you're just taking Mr. Jerkwad Dinendash's word for it.
She had it coming.
HE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF GETTING AHOLD OF THE WAITER AND TELLING HIM TO BRING TWO CHECKS HIS AND HERS
He should have split the check. Yes, she had a plan, but to stick her with his part of the check was wrong.
He should have split the check. Yes she had a motive, but to stick her with his part was wrong.
Well done. Perhaps she will think twice before doing that to someone again. She was so rude that there is no doubt in my mind she would have just walked away if he had asked to split the bill.
I would have been pissed too, esp. since she made it so clear she was only in it for a free expensive meal. That was your mistake though. Never take a 1st date out to an expensive place. You need to get to know them a little better than that. A quick meal and a movie is always good or just meeting them for a coffee is even better. Than you will know right away what's up with them.
quick meal sure, but you cant talk at a movie while its playing..well not without angering the others there to see it
It was her intent that makes the difference - she was taking advantage of him. That makes him way less wrong.
Her "intent" is 100% theoretical because he never asked what it was. It would have taken a man with balls to ask that; Mr DinenDash has none.
IF it were just the meal maybe, but she ignored him, didnt talk to him and THEN ordered the expensive crap AND 4 glasses of wine.
Its karma plain and simple. Next time dont treat a guy like hes a wallet and not a person.
That's the way he got free dinner. He should have shared the bill.
Fake
Dead giveaway
good on you mate she didnt dress for dinner she was out for all she could get you did the right thing. oh to have been a fly on the wall when she got stuck with the bill. to all you who think he did wrong put yourselves in his shoes and see how you would have felt,i mean she didnt even talk to him to busy eating the creme of the creme
She might always dress like that and she might have thought it was a low stress date. Maybe she thought he was weird and she was going to pay for her end. We only know his side. As someone said before he did exactly what she did. He snuck out and left her with an expensive bill. It's not like he didn't eat anything.
if the date is THAT weird, say sorry its not working out, lets go now..if your her transportation that is, if not, say its not working out and leave...she wants to eat teh meal after that, thats her thing not his
everyone is fucking retarded. i would have left without saying shit either. she lacked the basics like talking to him. paid more attention to the waiter than him. i think he did the right thing.
guys chill tf out he made a decision and she clearly was going for the expensive give me food faire so leave him alone this is genius on his part
Considering she wore sweat pants and barely spoke to him, I think it's safe to say she didn't intend on splitting the bill. Serves her right. Nob. If it were a man dressed in sweatpants, not speaking, ordering the most expensive things on the menu, if the woman had run away, all the idiot feminists would be applauded and saying "you go girl, he's a dick!" and other deeply inane remarks. I say the boy did good.
As a feminist I would say that in both situations both people who left are in the wrong. You shouldn't leave someone and stick them with the bill just because you think they might do it to you. If someone hit you out of the blue and then used the excuse that they thought you were going to hit them you would be mad. It doesn't matter he was guy. It matters that he ran out on her.
So you are only taking his word for it?
I don't see why I shouldn't. If he had been a woman, we'd be expected to and people would be calling the free loader all sorts of names, had it been a man. Which I think is just backwards.
Also, excuse my inability to form correct sentences xD
They`re both animals... eating steak yuck! It`s a dead body!
Read on MGTOW blog a guy buys a $5 jacket at thrift shop to use as decoy ie goes on a date with a dinner whore puts jacket on chair , after figures out she is a dinner whore says hey I got to go to the toilet, leaving jacket on the chair and leaves the venue her alone, brilliant idea
never confuse kindness and being a gentleman in a man for ignorance and stupidity.
I say, "good for him." She was a free loader. He played her at her own game
Its a common scam. Girl gets guy to take them for a meal after a few days of flirting. Eats like a privileged pig then disappears without even saying thank you. They have no intention of any kind of romantic involvement whether its a one night stand or a committed relationship If you feel that something is wrong then go with your gut. She was running up a hefty bill and did not put any effort into her appearance for a first date. That in itself would set off alarm bells
Anyone thinking he should have stayed and asked her to split the bill is a fool. She already showed her character. What do you think her reaction would have been once he said they would be splitting the bill? Right. The only thing "splitting" would be her.
She was clearly trying to get a nice meal for free with minimal effort. The not talking to him part was shitty (also, sweatpants on a date? C'mon). Good for him for bailing! I don't blame him at all.
He should have known first thing: she obviously had no respect either for herself showing up in sweat pants, or any regard of how she presented herself to this guy. As soon as he saw her, he should have taken her to McDonald's, but absolutely NOT to an expensive restaurant
DINE & DITCH? Hardly what a gentleman would do but I get it! Grow some CHONEYS & talk to her about being rude & a PIG! Then ask her nicely for her portion of the bill! Then see how she handles being called out!
I'm not sure if he did the talking about being rude, but he tried the ENTIRE meal to talk to her, she basically gave him shrugs and grunts the entire meal, and ignored him, you really think shes going to even listen t o what he has to say?...even if hes boring, come up with a topic herself if shes THAT bored
I learned a long time ago, never let a man buy you a meal on your first few dates. They immediately expect sex to go with it and you're trapped.
no Peggy, they really dont...MOST are just trying to get to know you
On behalf of all men whom have been abused in this manner, good job. You did what obviously most people wouldn't have. However, your actions will definitely make her think twice the next time.
Any date who orders like that on a 1st date is trash.
what do you expect today when people who go in tinder like you go in the butcher to buy meat?
Played at her own game why should he pay she deserved it
TOTALLY cool to have done that. I actually did that too. I've read some of the moronic responses about "honor" below and those people are full of it. You think that hag is going to give you $80? Try a scene and her walking out. I'm SO glad you showed that sweatpant wearing "lady of the evening" the way it works!
It’s called karma. She deserved it. Fuck her.
Everyone is retarded. i would have done the same thing. its not immature. he was being used. she paid more attention to the waiter than him.
I mostly agree with you, but downvoted you for using the word "retarded" as an insult. Not okay.
Because making a scene was better? No need to give a gold digger her 15 minutes. Good move...
But this way he became the "gold digger". He should have paid for his meal and leave.
No one knows if she would actually make a scene
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What if she hadn't easten for a few days & was so hungry she didn't want to talk much until she was done eating? If people want to have a better conversation then don't go to dinner. He CHOSE the restaurant & wasn't forced to choose one so pricey. My entire life all I ever heard from guys was "Women never eat enough when we go to dinner" or "She only ordered a salad" "Why did I waste my money on dinner if she wasn't going to eat anything" NOW, This guy is pissed off because she was eating & not talking more? Sounds like something a lot of women complain about. He never talks to me while he's eating, watching sports,with his friends, etc." or Men say we talk too much. WTF DO YOU REALLY EXPECT? They chatted on Tinder then through texts. She insisted dinner but didn't choose where they went. What a sniveling douchebag. Maybe take your date somewhere that you afford and save the fancier places for the 3rd -4th date when you know her & her dinner/eating habits.
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Take it as a lesson and move on. Why did you take a stranger to a restaurant you couldn't afford? Why not meet for coffee in the middle of the afternoon instead? You put way too much freight on meeting someone for the first time, and you won't do it again. .... Oh, and to all the people calling you rude for leaving - there have been situations where women have done this all the time. I did it once. I was just completely creeped out and just a little afraid, so I left out the back door of a restaurant and took a cab home. It happens.
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I thought it was great! She’s probably ripped off people before, and won’t easily receive punishment as this can’t be brought on legal grounds. That’ll probably show her.
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All woman use men...whats new?
Your absurd generalization sure is...
It’s sounds like she used him, but it is only from his side of the story. What every really happened, just leaving is terrible thing to do. Don’t be little ++++ and own situation, not run away from it!
Right! Be a gentleman and ask her what is going on, why is she so not interested on the date. THEN you can tell her to pay her meal, if you think she tries to take advantage on a free meal.
If you're smart you'll agree to go Dutch before you go out with them! I don't expect anyone to pay for me.
Adam Maye, way to fail troll. Sergio wasn't saying pay for the meal when he says be a gentleman, he's saying just don't run out on her and stick her with the bill on a guess, be upstanding and actually ask her what was up with her behavior instead of running away.
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How dare you say "be a gentleman" you sexist prick. Nice social standards you put out for men. Better pay for every meal even if the girl is taking advantage of you!
There's nothing in this post that indicates she wasn't going to pay for her food, just that she wasn't interested in HIM!
Exactly. Considering her being so dressed down, for all we know she may have been a sort of shut in and really wanted to get out for a good meal, but felt super awkward doing it alone. Hell, even not being a shut in I remember the first time I went out to see a movie by myself I felt super awkward being at the theatre alone.
Where in this story, Jesus, is there any indication of her using him? He took her out. With no guidelines, she ordered and ate. He didn't know for sure whether she was going to pay, yet he ran out on HIS tab. How is that right? Who got shat on? She did.
I kind of hope some guy does this to you and then you'll see it's not bad of a thing. Don't be a person who runs up a bill then leaves. Also, women want equality so why does he have to pay for her food?
Men should not HAVE to pay for women, but where in this scenario does it indicate he had to pay?
oh so he should still pay so he doesn't hurt the special little snowflakes feelings? you're stupid. the girl has definitely done this before so shes just getting her own medicine
Oh so this girl should pay for this guy because he's a special snowflake? Isn't it just common sense to pay for your own food? How do you think it is a cool thing to do to bail out like that?
Never said he had to pay her meal, I said to ask her to pay HER meal if he's sure she's taking advantage. Btw, if the date was with another guy I would do the same thing, no sexist here. Have a nice day.
Where in this read does it state she wasn't going to pay for her own meal? Furthermore, where does it state a date can't order what she did? I don't understand the problem here, except with what he did. He stiffed her not the other way around, so why are you blaming her. They both should have made it clear from the start who was paying for what.
Sergio, he TRIED to talk to her the whole me, she ignored him, when the bill came around she would probably just walk out, making him pay for all of it anyway, either way he loses..wheres the incentive?
You said it, probably.
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That's a womans response. The ol do as i say not as I do rule eh? I would've eaten MY meal and left her with that bill too!
Sexist pig
I dunno, maybe slip the money for your part to the waiter on your way out so she only gets stuck with her part to pay?
<3
This is ridiculous. Something hardly worth congratulating or justifying. The post about this talks about heroic dogs. This man is hardly a hero and just a dog. She definitely deserved it IF getting free food was her motive, BUT it still wasn't fair OR mature to ditch her.
Do NOT call this man a dog. Dogs are wonderful friendly loyal beautiful animals. Calling this man a dog is an insult to dogs just like calling her a b*itch is an insult to a dog.
i agree :) i apologize for disrespecting dogs like that.
Yes. I think he could tell her that he will pay for his meal since it's a first date and if she insists he could turn the tables on her and saying something smart make her pay for her own meal. If he had shown her that he got it that she wanted a free dinner I don't think she would insist. I don't believe there are women like her out there. She doesn't have any pride???
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American Girls are so Entitled.. and ALWAYS assume that on 1st Dates they must be Treated to a FREE Dinner.. Going Dutch is a no no for them...
Its not cool to sneak out. You should have kept the honor to yourself and take it as a lesson. You did to her what you thought she did to you. Lame situation
She could have been planning on paying for herself. It's not fair for him to run out on her
He's the one who picked a restaurant he couldn't afford. SHE assumed he wouldn't have picked it if he couldn't. So who's at fault? Why should she push a lettuce leaf around on an empty plate and drink tap water?
It doesn't matter what her intent was. It doesn't matter what he *thought* her intent was. You don't walk out of a restaurant without paying.
Exactly. You pay for your food, period. Otherwise it’s theft.
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He didn’t steal, he left a member of his party to pay the bill.
he should have just paid for himself. modern times says its not the mans responsibility to pay
I agree it's not the man's responsibility to pay, but nothing here suggests he had to pay. I personally think the inviter pays for the invitee, but that's just me. I like to make it clear from the get-go.
'Modern times' (and before modern times, as far as that goes) etiquette says that the person who invites, pays. So, yes, if the man invites, it IS the man's responsibility to pay.
So you did EXACTLY what you were thinking she was going to do? That is nice... how about, next time, instead of running away like a child you could try to TALK as adult to another person?
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And get a "yep" I suppose.
he tried to talk to her the ENTIRE meal, she gave non-committal sounds and 1-word answers she gave him nothing, not even respect.
Talking to her for conversation is very different from talking to her with the purpose of determining her intent. Even with noncommittal answers for conversation even the most awkward people will have a more substantial response if they're accused of something.
I had a similar situation with my date doing exactly the same, minus the sweatpants, but plus dropping "that Jig can make a drink" when the African American bartender did a good job. So in normal situations I always pay, no offense to anyone who does it different but I was raised to be a gentle man until the lady insists on splitting. In this case however, I went to the waiter after excusing myself to the bathroom, paid for my half, told him the situation, and to my surprise, he came right out with, "buddy, go to your car, delete her off of every social platform, and go home. I got you, i'm gonna stall going over to her with the bill until I see your car leave." He had seen the whole date interaction and knew exactly what was up. I gave him a pound and headed out the back door. Took his advice, wiped out all contact and bolted. Never heard from her again. I went back a few days later to the restaurant and gave my man a gift certificate to a local restaurant down the road.
Good on you for being civil about a bad date and paying your own and telling the waiter. But as for normally paying the full meal meaning you're a gentleman? That is super outdated, even from a woman's standpoint.
No it's totally not outdated what outdated is a bunch of feminist saying that it is outdated like the man said he is a gentleman. Having said that I do believe a first date should be something simple like a lunch or simply coffee and talking but if a man ask me out for dinner on an official date then he is saying he is paying for it chivalry is not dead and it is not outdated
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great social standards saying raised to be a "gentleman". Woman want equal rights they are not entitled to free meals because its the social norm that men pay. youre just a cuck buddy. Enjoy wage slaving and giving all your income to your wife that does nothing all day.
I don't know what you mean women want equal rights and having a man offered to pay for a woman's dinner on a date those are two different things chivalry is dead in many ways but traditional being a gentleman is not and it's still very much appreciated to red-blooded American women. If the meal is going to be split than it needs to be agreed upon upfront that it's going to be Dutch Treat. I'm so glad I was raised in a generation where men were men knew how to be gentleman and respectful of women not like today where these modern feminist Millennial types have pussified them all
he said a gentle man, not the same as gentleman though MOST often they go hand in hand, but there are times the women is wrong and wont admit it...
I like the idea of splitting the bill in half. Or on insisting she should pay for what she ordered. But leaving seems just so rude.
I think it was rude of her, #1 who orders that much food on a first date with someone?? Dead give away, right there. #2, talking more to the waiter, not good, also rude. #3, split the bill, hmm, that was fair but would she have created a scene?? I think he did the right thing, making her foot the bill for what it seemed like, her using him. Who shows up to a first date in sweat pants?? He should have left right then!!!!
Um, no. I've been on a couple dates where the guy turned out to be a real douche. The waiter as a more dignified man, and more interesting when he asked if there was anything else. And my dates did not ask anything interesting, just shit that required yes or no answers, with long ackward silences with one, and the other wouldn't shut up, wouldn't stop talking about stupid shit.
Who takes someone to a restaurant they can't afford on a first date? He didn't exactly cover himself with glory here.
He could have been lying. He could have told her to order whatever she wanted.
To be honest I know some people who feel a lot more comfortable in that kind of clothing and I would have no issue with it.
Korvina Krow you didnt like him, but sat and ate with him anyway? your no better, thinking EVERYTHING must be interesting just to you....thats your issue...but if he was that interesting, hand him half the money for the meal and leave if you've eaten anything at all, otherwise just leave....
He should have gone to bathroom come out found a waiter or something explained the dealio and then paid for his half of the meal
I liked the dog that saved the baby more than this """hero""".
We need to stop the antiquated concept that the man is to pay.
Is this an American custom? Because, at least, where I live each one pays for their own meal or someone pays for both but next time the other one does and so on.
It's very American. There's a whole thing about being a "gentleman". As a gentleman you have to do stuff like pay for everything and hold doors for women. It's pretty antiquated.
Personally if I invite someone over dinner, especially to a fancy place I offer to pay the full check, as it was my idea to go out and I chose the restaurant and the other person might not be able to pay. This is regardless of the other person's gender obviously. They usually refuse though, or I tell them they'll pay for dessert, or our next meal.
Super antiquated. Even as a teen girl in the 90s, even major dates I always insisted on going dutch. I think I only ever had one guy protest so much as to outdo me on insisting he pay the full bill and it kind of made it a little awkward. He was very sweet, but overly focused on doing everything, including getting the car door for me, which was just awkward too. Getting the door where more than one person is approaching, regardless of gender of anyone, is just plain polite for both men and women to do. But a man getting a car door for a woman is awkward, pointless and time consuming. The time it takes him to go around and get it, she could have been out and joining him already.
To be honest, he could have just asked a waiter to let him pay for his part of the bill and then run off. (To avoid confrontation with a possible "well I dont have any money with me anyway", making him still pay for everything.) Because now he just did to her what she might have been doing to him. (Although, going to a nice restaurant in your sweatpants, doing zero effort or showing zero interest in the date,... Well, that does kinda look like you're just in it for a free dinner.)
To me, actually, it screams shut in that really needed an excuse to go out for a good meal and feel slightly less awkward than going alone.
So, it seems this guy is proud of what he did, ie: running off and sticking her with his meal bill. Hmm. What a creep. Of course she called him a fucker, because that is what he is.
He could have asked for separate checks.
At least pay for your own share before running.
He should have paid for his meal. Period.
This is just his version of the story. We don't know if she really meant to use him or just found the food more interesting than him. Anyway no matter what her motive was, I would have still stayed through the meal and split the cheque if I were him.
It would also have been mostly acceptable if he'd found an employee and paid his half of the bill, then left. The way he did it makes him an a*****e.
He is more like her then he realizes
He's more like her than *she* might be, if you think about it.
Excuse me but I tend to think this man is trying to write a novel "Fifty Shades of Bullshit."
I doubt his word. More than likely he intentionally tried to pull something on her and is deflecting blame by making it seem like she was trying to pull a fast one on her. He was the one who picked the restaurant, not her. I bet he told her to order whatever she wanted and then he sneaked out and left the bill to her.
he probably did, but didnt expect 4 glasses of a middle of the line wine(unless it was the most expensive they had), and to order a main course enough for 2 people to eat by herself.
Doesn't matter *what* he 'expected'. He invited, he chose the restaurant, *he* is the one who should pay for it.
Wow, so this asshole dines-n-dashes? He could have at least paid his share. Yea, seems like maybe he used her and is giving a shitty story about her... he is the one who dined and dashed. He admitted it. "I left the bathroom, headed out the door, got in my car, and drove home." I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him, not text fucker 12 times.
its no okay to just split, unless your afraid of something.
He was afraid of being taken advantage of.
He still should have paid for his half of the meal.
Clearly that meal was not in Australia, it's super cheap.
He ate. He ran. Theft. He agreed on dinner, he chose the restaurant. He should have stuck to the plan. If she didn't offer to split the bill...well, some lessons are costly.
She's the one that insisted on dinner for their first meet up, then orders an appetizer and two entree's and 4 glasses of wine and comes dressed as a slob? She was looking for a free meal, an expensive one at that while offering nothing, not even decent conversation, in return. She got what she deserved.
If you went into a store with the INTENT to steal and got arrested, is that fair? You don't KNOW what her motive was. Since he didn't know, he should have asked.
Best thing to do would be to go to the manager (away from where she can see you) and pay for YOUR part of what was consumed and THEN leave.
Based on his description of her (wearing sweat pants to a date and etc) I feel kind of bad for her. Sounds to me like she's super poor and uses tinder as a means to eat. If that's the case though you should engage your date and order something reasonable and not drink 4 glasses of wine. My reaction would have been to just walk up and pay the bill when I "went to the bathroom" and then left. Wouldn't stick her with a bill but I'd make her mooch a ride off someone else if I felt she had mooched off me enough for the evening.
Larry Bundy Jr. like
On the off chance her intentions were pure, I think you should contact her to arrange payment for your portion. You can always transmit the funds you owe without ever seeing her again.
In general, I would say that he should pay for his part of the meal, but in this case, it seems that there is a side to say that the entire evening was based on deception and that he never would have gone to such a fancy restaurant, or out to eat at all, if it wasn't for her consciously misrepresenting herself. Paying on a first date isn't about which gender should pay. Anytime one person "invites" another person to go somewhere, the invitor should pay. That seems like common sense. Whether it's a date, or if I just invite a male friend of mine (I'm a guy) to go get a sandwich, the invitor is saying "I want to take you out to such and such..." Taking someone means that you supply the transportation and the means for the event itself. "Come to my place for dinner or a BBQ. We'll be having wine, salad and steak and potatoes. Your half will cost $*****.**".
This story is from his perspective only. I wonder what hers is. Did he wear an offensive sexist t-shirt, and make requests for sex constantly? Did he denigrate her outfit/make-up/looks? Did he flirt/make passes at every other female present? They're BOTH to blame: even if he didn't do any of the above, and was a "nice guy," bottom line is he dined and dashed, leaving a stranger with the bill.
I would have left my half with the waiter then ditched
I personally think he should have paid for his food before he left. He did say the date wasn't going well.
Which is way one of the first thing to do is tell the other person you plan to pay only for what you order. You know, like it's normal nowadays. I feel very weird when guys want to pay for me, especially really soon after meeting them...
usually the guy wants to be respectful, and not show you he's like the guys who only want one thing EVER...
Imagine changing the situation where the girl ditches the GUY... they girl would have made up a 100 excuses why he ditched him... and everyone would think it was OK.
Not if she ran away without paying her share.
He should have bought the cheapest thing, left money to pay for what he bought and left
Even Greta (the poster) isn't convinced.
Whoa...
He's fine, other than he should have covered his part of the bill before he left. Then he'd be flawless. As a woman I am nervous about going on a date where I can't pay for my own stuff even if he says he'll cover it. What if he is a complete jerk? What if he assumes dinner means fringe benefits? What if he is really creepy? I want the freedom that at least being ABLE to pay my own bill gives me. If I need out for whatever reason >I< can quietly slip away, pay my own bill and leave (and I also like to meet there so I have my own vehicle right there too). I don't want to stick anyone for my bill if it isn't working out and I also don't want to feel beholden to put up with stuff that I shouldn't either...and as for what I order on a date on his dime, I pick a couple reasonable things as possibilities and ask what he thinks....the one he says is a good idea is the one I pick...that way he has control over the bill...it's only fair and right.
He should have paid his half, sneaking out was despicable, in fact he should have ended the meal earlier, and called it a night.
For the record, you don't know whether she was going to pay for her own meal, but assumed she was on the take. You snuck out of the restaurant and stiffed her with the tab. You ARE a "fucker". What you should have done was made who's paying for what clear from the jump so this silly situation was avoided. She did nothing wrong, you did. I don't understand your complaint when you did EXACTLY (or even worse by having snuck out) what you THOUGHT she was about to do. #FUCKER
He should have paid for his half of the meal and asked her directly why she didn’t seem interested in getting to know him . Re: Is the man expected to pay in this day and age ? Until women get equal rights of pay to men then yes he should pay the lions share or at least offer ( assuming they are from similar social backgrounds , therefore careers)
There is probably a better way to handle such a situation but i am glad this gold-digger got her just desserts (pun intended),. If someone did this to my brother I would be furious!
I went out on a couple dates (not from Tinder!) and I tried to pay for the coffee and then dinner, but the gentleman insisted. I did not, however, go crazy with the food - chicken wings and a glass of water was all I ordered. There is nothing wrong with the other person paying for the meal if they insist.but that Tinder woman sounds crazy!