Guy Finds A Date On Tinder, However After Meeting Her He Soon Realizes Something Is Not Right
Dating in this day and age is an increasingly fraught affair, with the breakdown of previous ‘norms’ almost complete and new rules and expectations far from clear in a technology obsessed world.
Online dating and apps like Tinder do have the advantage of getting to know your date pretty well before actually meeting, it is common to exchange texts for days and have a pretty solid idea of who you are flirting with through their Facebook profile etc.
However the following story might make you think twice about jumping straight into fancy dinners and weekends away. Imgur user minilogo37 quickly realised that his ‘date’ was more interested in the material benefits that a date can bring, rather than his company, and he was being played.
What to do in such a situation? Grit your teeth and pay up, as the gentleman was previously expected to do? Insist on a bill split, with a potentially embarrassing confrontation? Quietly explain the situation to the waiter, pay him your share and leave quietly?
Scroll down below to see how minilogo37 dealt with his unscrupulous ‘date,’ and the ensuing discussion about modern dating ethics. What’s your take on the situation? Let us know in the comments!
Commenters were quick to applaud his actions
But some had other ideas
What is your take on the situation?
I dunno, maybe slip the money for your part to the waiter on your way out so she only gets stuck with her part to pay?
This is ridiculous. Something hardly worth congratulating or justifying. The post about this talks about heroic dogs. This man is hardly a hero and just a dog. She definitely deserved it IF getting free food was her motive, BUT it still wasn't fair OR mature to ditch her.
Do NOT call this man a dog. Dogs are wonderful friendly loyal beautiful animals. Calling this man a dog is an insult to dogs just like calling her a b*itch is an insult to a dog.
Load More Replies...Its not cool to sneak out. You should have kept the honor to yourself and take it as a lesson. You did to her what you thought she did to you. Lame situation
She could have been planning on paying for herself. It's not fair for him to run out on her
Load More Replies...So you did EXACTLY what you were thinking she was going to do? That is nice... how about, next time, instead of running away like a child you could try to TALK as adult to another person?
I had a similar situation with my date doing exactly the same, minus the sweatpants, but plus dropping "that Jig can make a drink" when the African American bartender did a good job. So in normal situations I always pay, no offense to anyone who does it different but I was raised to be a gentle man until the lady insists on splitting. In this case however, I went to the waiter after excusing myself to the bathroom, paid for my half, told him the situation, and to my surprise, he came right out with, "buddy, go to your car, delete her off of every social platform, and go home. I got you, i'm gonna stall going over to her with the bill until I see your car leave." He had seen the whole date interaction and knew exactly what was up. I gave him a pound and headed out the back door. Took his advice, wiped out all contact and bolted. Never heard from her again. I went back a few days later to the restaurant and gave my man a gift certificate to a local restaurant down the road.
Good on you for being civil about a bad date and paying your own and telling the waiter. But as for normally paying the full meal meaning you're a gentleman? That is super outdated, even from a woman's standpoint.
Load More Replies...I like the idea of splitting the bill in half. Or on insisting she should pay for what she ordered. But leaving seems just so rude.
I think it was rude of her, #1 who orders that much food on a first date with someone?? Dead give away, right there. #2, talking more to the waiter, not good, also rude. #3, split the bill, hmm, that was fair but would she have created a scene?? I think he did the right thing, making her foot the bill for what it seemed like, her using him. Who shows up to a first date in sweat pants?? He should have left right then!!!!
Load More Replies...He should have gone to bathroom come out found a waiter or something explained the dealio and then paid for his half of the meal
Is this an American custom? Because, at least, where I live each one pays for their own meal or someone pays for both but next time the other one does and so on.
Load More Replies...To be honest, he could have just asked a waiter to let him pay for his part of the bill and then run off. (To avoid confrontation with a possible "well I dont have any money with me anyway", making him still pay for everything.) Because now he just did to her what she might have been doing to him. (Although, going to a nice restaurant in your sweatpants, doing zero effort or showing zero interest in the date,... Well, that does kinda look like you're just in it for a free dinner.)
To me, actually, it screams shut in that really needed an excuse to go out for a good meal and feel slightly less awkward than going alone.
Load More Replies...This is just his version of the story. We don't know if she really meant to use him or just found the food more interesting than him. Anyway no matter what her motive was, I would have still stayed through the meal and split the cheque if I were him.
It would also have been mostly acceptable if he'd found an employee and paid his half of the bill, then left. The way he did it makes him an a*****e.
Load More Replies...He's more like her than *she* might be, if you think about it.
Load More Replies...I doubt his word. More than likely he intentionally tried to pull something on her and is deflecting blame by making it seem like she was trying to pull a fast one on her. He was the one who picked the restaurant, not her. I bet he told her to order whatever she wanted and then he sneaked out and left the bill to her.
he probably did, but didnt expect 4 glasses of a middle of the line wine(unless it was the most expensive they had), and to order a main course enough for 2 people to eat by herself.
Load More Replies...Wow, so this a*****e dines-n-dashes? He could have at least paid his share. Yea, seems like maybe he used her and is giving a s****y story about her... he is the one who dined and dashed. He admitted it. "I left the bathroom, headed out the door, got in my car, and drove home." I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him, not text f****r 12 times.
He ate. He ran. Theft. He agreed on dinner, he chose the restaurant. He should have stuck to the plan. If she didn't offer to split the bill...well, some lessons are costly.
She's the one that insisted on dinner for their first meet up, then orders an appetizer and two entree's and 4 glasses of wine and comes dressed as a slob? She was looking for a free meal, an expensive one at that while offering nothing, not even decent conversation, in return. She got what she deserved.
Load More Replies...Best thing to do would be to go to the manager (away from where she can see you) and pay for YOUR part of what was consumed and THEN leave.
Based on his description of her (wearing sweat pants to a date and etc) I feel kind of bad for her. Sounds to me like she's super poor and uses tinder as a means to eat. If that's the case though you should engage your date and order something reasonable and not drink 4 glasses of wine. My reaction would have been to just walk up and pay the bill when I "went to the bathroom" and then left. Wouldn't stick her with a bill but I'd make her mooch a ride off someone else if I felt she had mooched off me enough for the evening.
On the off chance her intentions were pure, I think you should contact her to arrange payment for your portion. You can always transmit the funds you owe without ever seeing her again.
In general, I would say that he should pay for his part of the meal, but in this case, it seems that there is a side to say that the entire evening was based on deception and that he never would have gone to such a fancy restaurant, or out to eat at all, if it wasn't for her consciously misrepresenting herself. Paying on a first date isn't about which gender should pay. Anytime one person "invites" another person to go somewhere, the invitor should pay. That seems like common sense. Whether it's a date, or if I just invite a male friend of mine (I'm a guy) to go get a sandwich, the invitor is saying "I want to take you out to such and such..." Taking someone means that you supply the transportation and the means for the event itself. "Come to my place for dinner or a BBQ. We'll be having wine, salad and steak and potatoes. Your half will cost $*****.**".
This story is from his perspective only. I wonder what hers is. Did he wear an offensive sexist t-shirt, and make requests for sex constantly? Did he denigrate her outfit/make-up/looks? Did he flirt/make passes at every other female present? They're BOTH to blame: even if he didn't do any of the above, and was a "nice guy," bottom line is he dined and dashed, leaving a stranger with the bill.
I personally think he should have paid for his food before he left. He did say the date wasn't going well.
Which is way one of the first thing to do is tell the other person you plan to pay only for what you order. You know, like it's normal nowadays. I feel very weird when guys want to pay for me, especially really soon after meeting them...
usually the guy wants to be respectful, and not show you he's like the guys who only want one thing EVER...
Load More Replies...Imagine changing the situation where the girl ditches the GUY... they girl would have made up a 100 excuses why he ditched him... and everyone would think it was OK.
He's fine, other than he should have covered his part of the bill before he left. Then he'd be flawless. As a woman I am nervous about going on a date where I can't pay for my own stuff even if he says he'll cover it. What if he is a complete jerk? What if he assumes dinner means fringe benefits? What if he is really creepy? I want the freedom that at least being ABLE to pay my own bill gives me. If I need out for whatever reason >I< can quietly slip away, pay my own bill and leave (and I also like to meet there so I have my own vehicle right there too). I don't want to stick anyone for my bill if it isn't working out and I also don't want to feel beholden to put up with stuff that I shouldn't either...and as for what I order on a date on his dime, I pick a couple reasonable things as possibilities and ask what he thinks....the one he says is a good idea is the one I pick...that way he has control over the bill...it's only fair and right.
He should have paid his half, sneaking out was despicable, in fact he should have ended the meal earlier, and called it a night.
For the record, you don't know whether she was going to pay for her own meal, but assumed she was on the take. You snuck out of the restaurant and stiffed her with the tab. You ARE a "f****r". What you should have done was made who's paying for what clear from the jump so this silly situation was avoided. She did nothing wrong, you did. I don't understand your complaint when you did EXACTLY (or even worse by having snuck out) what you THOUGHT she was about to do. #F****R
He should have paid for his half of the meal and asked her directly why she didn’t seem interested in getting to know him . Re: Is the man expected to pay in this day and age ? Until women get equal rights of pay to men then yes he should pay the lions share or at least offer ( assuming they are from similar social backgrounds , therefore careers)
There is probably a better way to handle such a situation but i am glad this gold-digger got her just desserts (pun intended),. If someone did this to my brother I would be furious!
I went out on a couple dates (not from Tinder!) and I tried to pay for the coffee and then dinner, but the gentleman insisted. I did not, however, go crazy with the food - chicken wings and a glass of water was all I ordered. There is nothing wrong with the other person paying for the meal if they insist.but that Tinder woman sounds crazy!
Totally wrong to just walk out on her...that is a loser attitude, of not dealing with a difficult situation and running away from it. Right thing to do would have been to pay for your share of the bill, and man up to her on your thoughts about the date.
Right, and he never even mentioned what he himself because we're all supposed to believe he's a saint. I'm calling bullsh*t especially when he doesn't give all the details and is acting like he's so innocent and hides any wrongdoing of his own. Besides where does it say she wasn't going to pay her own bill. Also of course if I'm going to restaurant I want fancy food otherwise might as well have stayed home and cooked dinner myself.
Two wrongs don't make a right. You could have let her know up front that you would not pay for all of it. Once she started ordering all that food and the drinks, you should have told her you expect some help with the bill. Sneaking out and sticking her with the bill just shows her that you are a spineless jerk and that rather than confront a person with an issue, you would rather run away so you don't have to deal with it. What she did was bad. What you did was worse.
Showing up in sweats would already be a deal breaker. I date ladies, and I do not use a hookup site.
He should have called the waiter over and told him separate checks and watched her reaction.
I think it's hilarious, come on now. She wore track pants and didn't engage in the date and ate a pricey meal. She's probably done this numerous times and had the table turned on her for a change LMAO .
Well, it sounds like she has a scheme going. She finally got played back. I would have got up for the restroom. Given the waiter a credit card for what I ate and the slid out the back door. I'm no longer on the market and I hear all these awful stories. If I were having to date again, I'd make sure that it was agreed upon that we either split it or pay our own way or like I get the movie if he gets the drinks sort of thing. One, if I don't like him, I don't want to be beholden to anybody. Two, I make my own money in this day and age. Three, I'm not paying for his a*s either.
Nothing heroic about his actions, if he felt she was using him for a free meal he should of spoke up. Instead of sticking her with the entire bill and doing to her what she possibly intended to do to him he could of approached the waiter and gave him his part of the bill then walked out. At the same time took it as a lesson learned, but if she was only giving 1 word answers the entire time I would of stop her from even ordering past the appetizers.
She had no interest in this guy at all and tried scamming him for an expensive meal. There are woman, and not a few men that do this regularly. Glad it bit her in the a*s.
Pretty lousy thing to do, even if she was trying to get a free meal out of you. I don't know why anyone would think he deserves applause for sticking her with both meals. Asking the server to split the bills would have been the best thing to do.. Not sneak out like a weasel.
Who knows? She may have been feeding herself energy for a wild night to come. He'll never know.
He should have chosen a cheaper place, it was just a first date. Other than that, he did the right thing. He taught her a lesson.
I can't agree with what he did, but I can certainly understand his reason. On the other hand do you wonder if she snuck out too? or if she got stuck paying the whole bill? How did she get out of there? I dunno, I have a conscience and not paying at least my share would weigh on me.
Hah! I actually know a girl who used to do this quite regularly on tinder dates. She had exactly the same thing happen to her...Didn't stop her from continuing to use tinder dates for free meals though. Best part was, the same guy did it to her twice!!
He dined and dashed on her. He admitted it. He's the d**k, not her. I wouldn't have texted him 12 times. I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him for that.
The issue isn't what she ate as some folks are trying to make out but the fact that she was just there to mooch that was the issue. Most guys don't mind paying if we get the pleasure of your company and a decent conversation as we get to know you. He didn't get that he was just a meal ticket to her. She deserved to learn first hand why that sucks.
You have proof that she 'was just there to mooch'? Nope. You weren't there & you're just taking Mr. Jerkwad Dinendash's word for it.
Load More Replies...HE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF GETTING AHOLD OF THE WAITER AND TELLING HIM TO BRING TWO CHECKS HIS AND HERS
He should have split the check. Yes, she had a plan, but to stick her with his part of the check was wrong.
He should have split the check. Yes she had a motive, but to stick her with his part was wrong.
Well done. Perhaps she will think twice before doing that to someone again. She was so rude that there is no doubt in my mind she would have just walked away if he had asked to split the bill.
I would have been pissed too, esp. since she made it so clear she was only in it for a free expensive meal. That was your mistake though. Never take a 1st date out to an expensive place. You need to get to know them a little better than that. A quick meal and a movie is always good or just meeting them for a coffee is even better. Than you will know right away what's up with them.
quick meal sure, but you cant talk at a movie while its playing..well not without angering the others there to see it
Load More Replies...It was her intent that makes the difference - she was taking advantage of him. That makes him way less wrong.
Her "intent" is 100% theoretical because he never asked what it was. It would have taken a man with balls to ask that; Mr DinenDash has none.
Load More Replies...Its karma plain and simple. Next time dont treat a guy like hes a wallet and not a person.
good on you mate she didnt dress for dinner she was out for all she could get you did the right thing. oh to have been a fly on the wall when she got stuck with the bill. to all you who think he did wrong put yourselves in his shoes and see how you would have felt,i mean she didnt even talk to him to busy eating the creme of the creme
She might always dress like that and she might have thought it was a low stress date. Maybe she thought he was weird and she was going to pay for her end. We only know his side. As someone said before he did exactly what she did. He snuck out and left her with an expensive bill. It's not like he didn't eat anything.
Load More Replies...everyone is f*****g r******d. i would have left without saying s**t either. she lacked the basics like talking to him. paid more attention to the waiter than him. i think he did the right thing.
guys chill tf out he made a decision and she clearly was going for the expensive give me food faire so leave him alone this is genius on his part
Considering she wore sweat pants and barely spoke to him, I think it's safe to say she didn't intend on splitting the bill. Serves her right. N*b. If it were a man dressed in sweatpants, not speaking, ordering the most expensive things on the menu, if the woman had run away, all the idiot feminists would be applauded and saying "you go girl, he's a d**k!" and other deeply inane remarks. I say the boy did good.
As a feminist I would say that in both situations both people who left are in the wrong. You shouldn't leave someone and stick them with the bill just because you think they might do it to you. If someone hit you out of the blue and then used the excuse that they thought you were going to hit them you would be mad. It doesn't matter he was guy. It matters that he ran out on her.
Load More Replies...Read on MGTOW blog a guy buys a $5 jacket at thrift shop to use as decoy ie goes on a date with a dinner whore puts jacket on chair , after figures out she is a dinner whore says hey I got to go to the toilet, leaving jacket on the chair and leaves the venue her alone, brilliant idea
never confuse kindness and being a gentleman in a man for ignorance and stupidity.
I say, "good for him." She was a free loader. He played her at her own game
Its a common scam. Girl gets guy to take them for a meal after a few days of flirting. Eats like a privileged pig then disappears without even saying thank you. They have no intention of any kind of romantic involvement whether its a one night stand or a committed relationship If you feel that something is wrong then go with your gut. She was running up a hefty bill and did not put any effort into her appearance for a first date. That in itself would set off alarm bells
Anyone thinking he should have stayed and asked her to split the bill is a fool. She already showed her character. What do you think her reaction would have been once he said they would be splitting the bill? Right. The only thing "splitting" would be her.
She was clearly trying to get a nice meal for free with minimal effort. The not talking to him part was s****y (also, sweatpants on a date? C'mon). Good for him for bailing! I don't blame him at all.
He should have known first thing: she obviously had no respect either for herself showing up in sweat pants, or any regard of how she presented herself to this guy. As soon as he saw her, he should have taken her to McDonald's, but absolutely NOT to an expensive restaurant
DINE & DITCH? Hardly what a gentleman would do but I get it! Grow some CHONEYS & talk to her about being rude & a PIG! Then ask her nicely for her portion of the bill! Then see how she handles being called out!
I'm not sure if he did the talking about being rude, but he tried the ENTIRE meal to talk to her, she basically gave him shrugs and grunts the entire meal, and ignored him, you really think shes going to even listen t o what he has to say?...even if hes boring, come up with a topic herself if shes THAT bored
Load More Replies...I learned a long time ago, never let a man buy you a meal on your first few dates. They immediately expect sex to go with it and you're trapped.
no Peggy, they really dont...MOST are just trying to get to know you
Load More Replies...TOTALLY cool to have done that. I actually did that too. I've read some of the moronic responses about "honor" below and those people are full of it. You think that hag is going to give you $80? Try a scene and her walking out. I'm SO glad you showed that sweatpant wearing "lady of the evening" the way it works!
Everyone is r******d. i would have done the same thing. its not immature. he was being used. she paid more attention to the waiter than him.
I mostly agree with you, but downvoted you for using the word "r******d" as an insult. Not okay.
Load More Replies...Because making a scene was better? No need to give a gold digger her 15 minutes. Good move...
But this way he became the "gold digger". He should have paid for his meal and leave.
Load More Replies...I dunno, maybe slip the money for your part to the waiter on your way out so she only gets stuck with her part to pay?
This is ridiculous. Something hardly worth congratulating or justifying. The post about this talks about heroic dogs. This man is hardly a hero and just a dog. She definitely deserved it IF getting free food was her motive, BUT it still wasn't fair OR mature to ditch her.
Do NOT call this man a dog. Dogs are wonderful friendly loyal beautiful animals. Calling this man a dog is an insult to dogs just like calling her a b*itch is an insult to a dog.
Load More Replies...Its not cool to sneak out. You should have kept the honor to yourself and take it as a lesson. You did to her what you thought she did to you. Lame situation
She could have been planning on paying for herself. It's not fair for him to run out on her
Load More Replies...So you did EXACTLY what you were thinking she was going to do? That is nice... how about, next time, instead of running away like a child you could try to TALK as adult to another person?
I had a similar situation with my date doing exactly the same, minus the sweatpants, but plus dropping "that Jig can make a drink" when the African American bartender did a good job. So in normal situations I always pay, no offense to anyone who does it different but I was raised to be a gentle man until the lady insists on splitting. In this case however, I went to the waiter after excusing myself to the bathroom, paid for my half, told him the situation, and to my surprise, he came right out with, "buddy, go to your car, delete her off of every social platform, and go home. I got you, i'm gonna stall going over to her with the bill until I see your car leave." He had seen the whole date interaction and knew exactly what was up. I gave him a pound and headed out the back door. Took his advice, wiped out all contact and bolted. Never heard from her again. I went back a few days later to the restaurant and gave my man a gift certificate to a local restaurant down the road.
Good on you for being civil about a bad date and paying your own and telling the waiter. But as for normally paying the full meal meaning you're a gentleman? That is super outdated, even from a woman's standpoint.
Load More Replies...I like the idea of splitting the bill in half. Or on insisting she should pay for what she ordered. But leaving seems just so rude.
I think it was rude of her, #1 who orders that much food on a first date with someone?? Dead give away, right there. #2, talking more to the waiter, not good, also rude. #3, split the bill, hmm, that was fair but would she have created a scene?? I think he did the right thing, making her foot the bill for what it seemed like, her using him. Who shows up to a first date in sweat pants?? He should have left right then!!!!
Load More Replies...He should have gone to bathroom come out found a waiter or something explained the dealio and then paid for his half of the meal
Is this an American custom? Because, at least, where I live each one pays for their own meal or someone pays for both but next time the other one does and so on.
Load More Replies...To be honest, he could have just asked a waiter to let him pay for his part of the bill and then run off. (To avoid confrontation with a possible "well I dont have any money with me anyway", making him still pay for everything.) Because now he just did to her what she might have been doing to him. (Although, going to a nice restaurant in your sweatpants, doing zero effort or showing zero interest in the date,... Well, that does kinda look like you're just in it for a free dinner.)
To me, actually, it screams shut in that really needed an excuse to go out for a good meal and feel slightly less awkward than going alone.
Load More Replies...This is just his version of the story. We don't know if she really meant to use him or just found the food more interesting than him. Anyway no matter what her motive was, I would have still stayed through the meal and split the cheque if I were him.
It would also have been mostly acceptable if he'd found an employee and paid his half of the bill, then left. The way he did it makes him an a*****e.
Load More Replies...He's more like her than *she* might be, if you think about it.
Load More Replies...I doubt his word. More than likely he intentionally tried to pull something on her and is deflecting blame by making it seem like she was trying to pull a fast one on her. He was the one who picked the restaurant, not her. I bet he told her to order whatever she wanted and then he sneaked out and left the bill to her.
he probably did, but didnt expect 4 glasses of a middle of the line wine(unless it was the most expensive they had), and to order a main course enough for 2 people to eat by herself.
Load More Replies...Wow, so this a*****e dines-n-dashes? He could have at least paid his share. Yea, seems like maybe he used her and is giving a s****y story about her... he is the one who dined and dashed. He admitted it. "I left the bathroom, headed out the door, got in my car, and drove home." I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him, not text f****r 12 times.
He ate. He ran. Theft. He agreed on dinner, he chose the restaurant. He should have stuck to the plan. If she didn't offer to split the bill...well, some lessons are costly.
She's the one that insisted on dinner for their first meet up, then orders an appetizer and two entree's and 4 glasses of wine and comes dressed as a slob? She was looking for a free meal, an expensive one at that while offering nothing, not even decent conversation, in return. She got what she deserved.
Load More Replies...Best thing to do would be to go to the manager (away from where she can see you) and pay for YOUR part of what was consumed and THEN leave.
Based on his description of her (wearing sweat pants to a date and etc) I feel kind of bad for her. Sounds to me like she's super poor and uses tinder as a means to eat. If that's the case though you should engage your date and order something reasonable and not drink 4 glasses of wine. My reaction would have been to just walk up and pay the bill when I "went to the bathroom" and then left. Wouldn't stick her with a bill but I'd make her mooch a ride off someone else if I felt she had mooched off me enough for the evening.
On the off chance her intentions were pure, I think you should contact her to arrange payment for your portion. You can always transmit the funds you owe without ever seeing her again.
In general, I would say that he should pay for his part of the meal, but in this case, it seems that there is a side to say that the entire evening was based on deception and that he never would have gone to such a fancy restaurant, or out to eat at all, if it wasn't for her consciously misrepresenting herself. Paying on a first date isn't about which gender should pay. Anytime one person "invites" another person to go somewhere, the invitor should pay. That seems like common sense. Whether it's a date, or if I just invite a male friend of mine (I'm a guy) to go get a sandwich, the invitor is saying "I want to take you out to such and such..." Taking someone means that you supply the transportation and the means for the event itself. "Come to my place for dinner or a BBQ. We'll be having wine, salad and steak and potatoes. Your half will cost $*****.**".
This story is from his perspective only. I wonder what hers is. Did he wear an offensive sexist t-shirt, and make requests for sex constantly? Did he denigrate her outfit/make-up/looks? Did he flirt/make passes at every other female present? They're BOTH to blame: even if he didn't do any of the above, and was a "nice guy," bottom line is he dined and dashed, leaving a stranger with the bill.
I personally think he should have paid for his food before he left. He did say the date wasn't going well.
Which is way one of the first thing to do is tell the other person you plan to pay only for what you order. You know, like it's normal nowadays. I feel very weird when guys want to pay for me, especially really soon after meeting them...
usually the guy wants to be respectful, and not show you he's like the guys who only want one thing EVER...
Load More Replies...Imagine changing the situation where the girl ditches the GUY... they girl would have made up a 100 excuses why he ditched him... and everyone would think it was OK.
He's fine, other than he should have covered his part of the bill before he left. Then he'd be flawless. As a woman I am nervous about going on a date where I can't pay for my own stuff even if he says he'll cover it. What if he is a complete jerk? What if he assumes dinner means fringe benefits? What if he is really creepy? I want the freedom that at least being ABLE to pay my own bill gives me. If I need out for whatever reason >I< can quietly slip away, pay my own bill and leave (and I also like to meet there so I have my own vehicle right there too). I don't want to stick anyone for my bill if it isn't working out and I also don't want to feel beholden to put up with stuff that I shouldn't either...and as for what I order on a date on his dime, I pick a couple reasonable things as possibilities and ask what he thinks....the one he says is a good idea is the one I pick...that way he has control over the bill...it's only fair and right.
He should have paid his half, sneaking out was despicable, in fact he should have ended the meal earlier, and called it a night.
For the record, you don't know whether she was going to pay for her own meal, but assumed she was on the take. You snuck out of the restaurant and stiffed her with the tab. You ARE a "f****r". What you should have done was made who's paying for what clear from the jump so this silly situation was avoided. She did nothing wrong, you did. I don't understand your complaint when you did EXACTLY (or even worse by having snuck out) what you THOUGHT she was about to do. #F****R
He should have paid for his half of the meal and asked her directly why she didn’t seem interested in getting to know him . Re: Is the man expected to pay in this day and age ? Until women get equal rights of pay to men then yes he should pay the lions share or at least offer ( assuming they are from similar social backgrounds , therefore careers)
There is probably a better way to handle such a situation but i am glad this gold-digger got her just desserts (pun intended),. If someone did this to my brother I would be furious!
I went out on a couple dates (not from Tinder!) and I tried to pay for the coffee and then dinner, but the gentleman insisted. I did not, however, go crazy with the food - chicken wings and a glass of water was all I ordered. There is nothing wrong with the other person paying for the meal if they insist.but that Tinder woman sounds crazy!
Totally wrong to just walk out on her...that is a loser attitude, of not dealing with a difficult situation and running away from it. Right thing to do would have been to pay for your share of the bill, and man up to her on your thoughts about the date.
Right, and he never even mentioned what he himself because we're all supposed to believe he's a saint. I'm calling bullsh*t especially when he doesn't give all the details and is acting like he's so innocent and hides any wrongdoing of his own. Besides where does it say she wasn't going to pay her own bill. Also of course if I'm going to restaurant I want fancy food otherwise might as well have stayed home and cooked dinner myself.
Two wrongs don't make a right. You could have let her know up front that you would not pay for all of it. Once she started ordering all that food and the drinks, you should have told her you expect some help with the bill. Sneaking out and sticking her with the bill just shows her that you are a spineless jerk and that rather than confront a person with an issue, you would rather run away so you don't have to deal with it. What she did was bad. What you did was worse.
Showing up in sweats would already be a deal breaker. I date ladies, and I do not use a hookup site.
He should have called the waiter over and told him separate checks and watched her reaction.
I think it's hilarious, come on now. She wore track pants and didn't engage in the date and ate a pricey meal. She's probably done this numerous times and had the table turned on her for a change LMAO .
Well, it sounds like she has a scheme going. She finally got played back. I would have got up for the restroom. Given the waiter a credit card for what I ate and the slid out the back door. I'm no longer on the market and I hear all these awful stories. If I were having to date again, I'd make sure that it was agreed upon that we either split it or pay our own way or like I get the movie if he gets the drinks sort of thing. One, if I don't like him, I don't want to be beholden to anybody. Two, I make my own money in this day and age. Three, I'm not paying for his a*s either.
Nothing heroic about his actions, if he felt she was using him for a free meal he should of spoke up. Instead of sticking her with the entire bill and doing to her what she possibly intended to do to him he could of approached the waiter and gave him his part of the bill then walked out. At the same time took it as a lesson learned, but if she was only giving 1 word answers the entire time I would of stop her from even ordering past the appetizers.
She had no interest in this guy at all and tried scamming him for an expensive meal. There are woman, and not a few men that do this regularly. Glad it bit her in the a*s.
Pretty lousy thing to do, even if she was trying to get a free meal out of you. I don't know why anyone would think he deserves applause for sticking her with both meals. Asking the server to split the bills would have been the best thing to do.. Not sneak out like a weasel.
Who knows? She may have been feeding herself energy for a wild night to come. He'll never know.
He should have chosen a cheaper place, it was just a first date. Other than that, he did the right thing. He taught her a lesson.
I can't agree with what he did, but I can certainly understand his reason. On the other hand do you wonder if she snuck out too? or if she got stuck paying the whole bill? How did she get out of there? I dunno, I have a conscience and not paying at least my share would weigh on me.
Hah! I actually know a girl who used to do this quite regularly on tinder dates. She had exactly the same thing happen to her...Didn't stop her from continuing to use tinder dates for free meals though. Best part was, the same guy did it to her twice!!
He dined and dashed on her. He admitted it. He's the d**k, not her. I wouldn't have texted him 12 times. I'd have hunted him down and stabbed him for that.
The issue isn't what she ate as some folks are trying to make out but the fact that she was just there to mooch that was the issue. Most guys don't mind paying if we get the pleasure of your company and a decent conversation as we get to know you. He didn't get that he was just a meal ticket to her. She deserved to learn first hand why that sucks.
You have proof that she 'was just there to mooch'? Nope. You weren't there & you're just taking Mr. Jerkwad Dinendash's word for it.
Load More Replies...HE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF GETTING AHOLD OF THE WAITER AND TELLING HIM TO BRING TWO CHECKS HIS AND HERS
He should have split the check. Yes, she had a plan, but to stick her with his part of the check was wrong.
He should have split the check. Yes she had a motive, but to stick her with his part was wrong.
Well done. Perhaps she will think twice before doing that to someone again. She was so rude that there is no doubt in my mind she would have just walked away if he had asked to split the bill.
I would have been pissed too, esp. since she made it so clear she was only in it for a free expensive meal. That was your mistake though. Never take a 1st date out to an expensive place. You need to get to know them a little better than that. A quick meal and a movie is always good or just meeting them for a coffee is even better. Than you will know right away what's up with them.
quick meal sure, but you cant talk at a movie while its playing..well not without angering the others there to see it
Load More Replies...It was her intent that makes the difference - she was taking advantage of him. That makes him way less wrong.
Her "intent" is 100% theoretical because he never asked what it was. It would have taken a man with balls to ask that; Mr DinenDash has none.
Load More Replies...Its karma plain and simple. Next time dont treat a guy like hes a wallet and not a person.
good on you mate she didnt dress for dinner she was out for all she could get you did the right thing. oh to have been a fly on the wall when she got stuck with the bill. to all you who think he did wrong put yourselves in his shoes and see how you would have felt,i mean she didnt even talk to him to busy eating the creme of the creme
She might always dress like that and she might have thought it was a low stress date. Maybe she thought he was weird and she was going to pay for her end. We only know his side. As someone said before he did exactly what she did. He snuck out and left her with an expensive bill. It's not like he didn't eat anything.
Load More Replies...everyone is f*****g r******d. i would have left without saying s**t either. she lacked the basics like talking to him. paid more attention to the waiter than him. i think he did the right thing.
guys chill tf out he made a decision and she clearly was going for the expensive give me food faire so leave him alone this is genius on his part
Considering she wore sweat pants and barely spoke to him, I think it's safe to say she didn't intend on splitting the bill. Serves her right. N*b. If it were a man dressed in sweatpants, not speaking, ordering the most expensive things on the menu, if the woman had run away, all the idiot feminists would be applauded and saying "you go girl, he's a d**k!" and other deeply inane remarks. I say the boy did good.
As a feminist I would say that in both situations both people who left are in the wrong. You shouldn't leave someone and stick them with the bill just because you think they might do it to you. If someone hit you out of the blue and then used the excuse that they thought you were going to hit them you would be mad. It doesn't matter he was guy. It matters that he ran out on her.
Load More Replies...Read on MGTOW blog a guy buys a $5 jacket at thrift shop to use as decoy ie goes on a date with a dinner whore puts jacket on chair , after figures out she is a dinner whore says hey I got to go to the toilet, leaving jacket on the chair and leaves the venue her alone, brilliant idea
never confuse kindness and being a gentleman in a man for ignorance and stupidity.
I say, "good for him." She was a free loader. He played her at her own game
Its a common scam. Girl gets guy to take them for a meal after a few days of flirting. Eats like a privileged pig then disappears without even saying thank you. They have no intention of any kind of romantic involvement whether its a one night stand or a committed relationship If you feel that something is wrong then go with your gut. She was running up a hefty bill and did not put any effort into her appearance for a first date. That in itself would set off alarm bells
Anyone thinking he should have stayed and asked her to split the bill is a fool. She already showed her character. What do you think her reaction would have been once he said they would be splitting the bill? Right. The only thing "splitting" would be her.
She was clearly trying to get a nice meal for free with minimal effort. The not talking to him part was s****y (also, sweatpants on a date? C'mon). Good for him for bailing! I don't blame him at all.
He should have known first thing: she obviously had no respect either for herself showing up in sweat pants, or any regard of how she presented herself to this guy. As soon as he saw her, he should have taken her to McDonald's, but absolutely NOT to an expensive restaurant
DINE & DITCH? Hardly what a gentleman would do but I get it! Grow some CHONEYS & talk to her about being rude & a PIG! Then ask her nicely for her portion of the bill! Then see how she handles being called out!
I'm not sure if he did the talking about being rude, but he tried the ENTIRE meal to talk to her, she basically gave him shrugs and grunts the entire meal, and ignored him, you really think shes going to even listen t o what he has to say?...even if hes boring, come up with a topic herself if shes THAT bored
Load More Replies...I learned a long time ago, never let a man buy you a meal on your first few dates. They immediately expect sex to go with it and you're trapped.
no Peggy, they really dont...MOST are just trying to get to know you
Load More Replies...TOTALLY cool to have done that. I actually did that too. I've read some of the moronic responses about "honor" below and those people are full of it. You think that hag is going to give you $80? Try a scene and her walking out. I'm SO glad you showed that sweatpant wearing "lady of the evening" the way it works!
Everyone is r******d. i would have done the same thing. its not immature. he was being used. she paid more attention to the waiter than him.
I mostly agree with you, but downvoted you for using the word "r******d" as an insult. Not okay.
Load More Replies...Because making a scene was better? No need to give a gold digger her 15 minutes. Good move...
But this way he became the "gold digger". He should have paid for his meal and leave.
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