Hindsight is always 20/20, and the Reddit post that asked the question "What are some things you realized too late in life?" is a testament to this fact. Its comment section is filled with thousands of responses from people of all ages, sharing the biggest lessons they've learned so far.
Some of the replies center around the theme of missed opportunities, like not pursuing your passion or spending more time with loved ones while others focus on the importance of self-care and personal growth. But when looking at it as a whole, the thread serves as a powerful reminder that our time on this planet is short, and we should strive to make every day count with intention and purpose.
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Its ok to catch yourself in your own BS. That's not you failing, its you being self aware and that will make you a better person.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Same goes for the reverse: Don't set others on fire to warm yourself.
Getting married and having kids is not "the ultimate life goal". Only do it if you really want to. Otherwise you'll do it just because it's expected of you and you'll be trapped in a very unhappy life
Dont try to hang on to a toxic friendship just because of your history.
Don’t hang on to toxicity. Period. Be it freinds , siblings, parents, partner, employer etc
Doing well in school doesn't mean you will do well outside of it.
I didn't do well in school, and I still don't do well. Where does that leave me?
Just because you put effort and energy into a relationship, doesn’t mean the other person will.
some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes,it’s alright Listen to this song
Don’t make other people’s lives your standard for living. Love what you have and love the people that support you
There are literally 8 billion people in the world and none of them act or think the same whatsoever , don’t try to mimic any of them
Take care of your teeth.
Dentist appointments are damn costly in us so make sure you don’t need them
Doctors are just people, and people are sometimes bias, useless, dismissive and just plain wrong.
Maybe not a pedestal, but the point of qualifications is exactly that they should prove expertise that is worth listening to. Nothing is fool-proof, but there is a certain 'proof' there that a doctor who has gone through medical school will know more about medicine than someone else just using google.
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I hate when a dr has that "well, I'm the dr and you're just the patient" attitude. Trust me, when you've been through as many meds I have to find the right one, I'm more of an expert in that situation than anyone else in the room....
I fired my former GP for this exact reason. My insurance company requested the reason and I provided video. He is now being investigated.
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I dislike going to doctors. Thats one category of professionals I hate. Almost all doctors I have met are arrogant and judgmental people who behave like Gods. But thats my sample.
I won't say all of them, but indeed the struggle to find decent practicians (like, someone who knows consent at least), is freaking hard
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Just remember, Doctors are just PRACTICING. No-one has perfected medicine yet.
This! A friend whose partner is a physician and who also has a number of friends who are physicians told me they've said that most people don't understand that, unless you have a condition that shows up conclusively on some sort of test (think x-rays show broken bones, labs show diabetes, MRI shows a tumor), they're making an educated guess based on symptoms and testing. It's called the practice of medicine for a reason - the more they practice, hopefully the better they get. That's part of why you shouldn't stay with a doctor who refuses to believe your symptoms or to run appropriate tests. They need those elements to make the best educated guess as to a diagnosis and correct treatment plan.
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Just remember a doctor could have graduated last in his class.
I read it before phrased as a half-joke, "what do you call the worst student in medical school after they graduate? Doctor", and that has stuck with me since.
Load More Replies... Yeah, the difference with anyone else is they can keep you from accessing the help/medecine you need, with often 0 accountability.
Always remember, you hired your doctor -- you can fire them (preferably in a crowded waiting room, loudly).
I called someone "Sir" the other day, and he got that s****y "Excuse me, you need to address me as Doctor" attitude, 🙄 so I gave it right back and required that he address me as Doctor as well. I never understood this, and find the behavior in my colleagues ridiculous. TBH, it just means we have a different skillset than someone who did not get their doctorate. No better or worse, just different knowledge 🤷♀️
I used to work for a large primary care office. The pc doctors would joke that the more specialized a doctor became, the more they also became convinced they were gods. Have to say, with most doctors I've met through the years, they tend to either have a tremendous amount of compassion for their patients or they go to the opposite extreme and are arrogant jerks who almost don't want to be bothered by speaking to patients - especially patients who don't gratefully accept their word as gospel. lol I am eternally grateful for the good ones. : )
Load More Replies... And also have their pockets tied to big pharma and the hospitals pushing for profits...
This! I had to fire my endocrinologist because he wouldn’t listen. I told him some life-changing painful side effects I was having from the drug he prescribed and he was completely dismissive saying, that’s not a side-effect of this drug. Well, I stopped taking it and then the pain went away. The good thing that came from his incompetence is I educated myself and learned that I have to take charge of my own health because I live with this body. They think the 15 minutes they spend with you each visit is enough. Well, if they don’t listen to you then they are less than worthless.
I feel this is a bad advice. it can be said about everyone at any profession, but I've seen more people ignores doctors advice claiming "they don't know everything" "but I feel it's something else" then taking bad doctor ones.
IMO, if a person has concerns regarding a physician's diagnosis or treatment plan, they should get a second opinion. But self-diagnosis, unless you have a degree in medicine, is based on a limited focus of research (I'm making an assumption I'm dealing with a reasonable person here who is attempting to understand their ailment, not someone whose neighbor's aunt told them the doctor was wrong), whereas a physician has literally years upon years of training to understand how the body works as a whole. There should be some level of respect for the amount of education and experience a physician has- I don't understand how medicine became so politicized that people think they know more than a physician does. That's like our clients who think they know more about how the law works than we do - it usually doesn't end well.
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Adjective not verb but other than that completely correct
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As Oprah once said "50% of doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class"
I get soooooo tired of every conversation with a doctor being about my weight and them pushing me to get weight loss surgery.I mean, I am overweight but I'm only in the low 200s. I have so many otherr issues. Can we focus on something else for a while?
If any health care person seems to be ignoring your concerns remind them that their job is to care for people individually, not rush them through like they are trying for a high score in a video game.
In my field, where we have to get credentialed, they make it clear that your MA, 1500 supervision hours and passing the exam means that yes, you get your credential and that means you met MINIMUM standards (which are still challenging to meet) to be able to practice in the field. I wonder if it's the same for MDs.
“I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.”
I thought people didn't like me because I was nerdy and all. Turns out the problem was that I never gave them a chance because I assumed they wouldn't like me.
Don't assume people won't do to you what you wouldnt do to them.
You don't need someone else to feel complete. There was never a hole to begin with. It was just you finding your way through life. You don't start with a hole, you start with foundation and build up.
Some people are not meant to be in your life forever
'If something's worth doing, it's worth doing badly.'
It's really easy to get into the mindset of thinking that things have to be perfect, but that's also the kind of mindset that leaves you meticulously editing the first five thousand words of that novel you've been working on for half a decade. Sit down and finish the f*****g thing, *then* worry about fixing it up.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
My most hated term "good enough". But yeah, designers are never finished, we tend to abandon work because otherwise we would go insane.
Eating healthy and being active actually matters
Yup. My grandmother who witnessed 3 wars died at the age of 105 in a "poor area" by western standards, just by living in a village up in the mountains which requires lots of exercise, and eating nothing but a bit of meat and vegetables from her garden (no processed food)
That expecting others to act how you would in that situation does not work.
I was so afraid of failing that I stopped trying. I know now it's okay to be afraid but it's no excuse to give up. I'm 28 years old and just finished my first quarter of college with all A's. When I saw my grades I cried for a long time because I realised the biggest thing holding me back was me. It took time and a lot of therapy for me to get here but that's okay. Everyone grows at a different pace.
I've got to say; those 28 years must have been hard. Look at all those grey hairs!
Nobody has all the answers. Everyone is just trying to make sense of things the best they can
Being jealous or resentful of other people’s success is a negative weight on your back that serves no purpose.
There’s room for others to succeed as well as yourself. Work hard, be happy for others and patiently wait for your turn to come up.
I got a lot of this from my mom when I was in school. She did a lot to try and sabotage what I was working toward and tried to keep me from anything I was passionate about. Missed out on a lot of opportunities because of her. My grandmother stepped in and had my back when she could but was only able to do so much.
Don't let anxiety rule your life.
All those people looking at you at a dance, the gym, the beach, work, school. It just doesn't matter. Half the people won't remember you in five minutes. Very few are actually judging you and even if they are, f**k them. Do what makes you happy and helps you and leave regrets behind you. You are your own best friend. You are the love of your life. If you are happy with yourself, you win.
And if you're not happy, find help to fix it.
Being assertive and taking care of your own needs doesn't make you an a*****e and people aren't going to hate you for it.
The chances of you growing up to be something big is very unlikely.
And if you do accomplish something huge, it's even more unlikely that you'll keep that success for too long.
Be grateful for being average because it's very hard to do the basic things it takes to maintain a stable lifestyle that's nowhere near the "american dream".
That very few people actually wake up in the morning thinking: 'Hey, I'm going to be an a*****e and make someone else's life hell today'. Most of us think our behavior is justified.
As someone who has been "toxic" or at least not not cool, I can relate. It's more being very very self-centered. It took me time (and people not cutting ties with me) to realise my behaviour was not justified, but during the whole ordeal I was convinced I was in my right
Your stomach isn’t supposed to hurt all the time. I was knee-deep in denial for a while when I first started developing symptoms of Crohn’s Disease.
Side note: if you are in your late teens or early 20s and are having persistent stomach/gut pain, go to the doctor as soon as you possibly can. It could save you a lot of pain and surgery down the line.
As one of of the 90% women with endometriosis who were diagnosed too late, to the point where I might never be able to have kids: if periods hurt a lot, if bleeding is consequent to the point it prevents from doing usual tasks --> go see a doctor, insist and ask for an echography to be performed. It is not normal to endure significant pain when having your periods.
I should have traveled more when I was younger and single. If you’re in your early twenties, don’t waste time. Travel as MUCH as you can. If you time it perfectly, you can travel anywhere on a small budget. Don’t make excuses. Just do it.
you are assuming we are all trust fund beneficiaries or multimillionaires. Travel is expensive. For an South African (richest people in african mainland) to travel to the nearby african island of Mauritius, costs about R 30k/person excluding flights, so add another 8k or so. Say a family of four. That's R 184k. Many if not most families in South Africa earn that amount in an entire year. In effect, the cheapest overseas holiday in our country is a full year's salary for a typical earner. You will see stats online that the average salary is 24000 zar/month. That's not true. It's true for the middle class. Most people (about 80%) of our country are borderline poverty line. The reason the average is high is that we have economic apartheid: the middle class earn about 24k/mo but the cleaners, street sweepers etc., are between 4k and 16k./mo. Yes, 4k as in USD $200 per month. Exploitation of the workers!!!
Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
There's "family" and there's "Family". Took me a while to differentiate the two.
I learned that lesson also. I have the most amazing loving family now. I'm only biologically related to a few members of my family.
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If you think you might have children consider something I didn't think of, and I wish someone would have told me: Delaying having kids until my 40s has big tradeoffs: like most my age, my parents had me in their mid 20s. And like many my age I had my kids in my early 40s. By the time my kids are *really* able to develop deep relationships with their grandparents they will be in their late 70s and statistically close to death. Also, at 40 you're tired as f**k with the little aholes :)
My mom had me when she was 42, she died last year of cancer. I'm 33 now and have yet to start considering kids. If I do, she'll never meet them. If I had done so earlier, I would have NOT been ready for them, knowing how I felt and who I was with at that time.
Load More Replies... I lived overseas for 20 years, rarely visited home. On my return, my niece decided on a small wedding. Was getting herself aĺl worked up because we're a huge family. My advice? Can't plse everyone so just please yourself and i got culled from the guest list. Oooff. Least she took my advice.
Way too many of these assume all you have to do to have enough money for anything you want is to stop buying coffee everyday and save that money. Like we can all afford to buy coffee everyday in the first place.
Those are answers that apply to the individual who answered the question. Of course they don't apply for everyone. There is no universal truth, and if you answered the question what you realised too late in life, it wouldn't apply to everyone either. There is no absolute truth out there. There are always exceptions to every rule in life except that everyone dies eventually.
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I can't help but wonder if you only read the title of the overall post and jumped directly down here to make a generalized comment about generalized advice.
Load More Replies... Some good stuff here no doubt. Even so, sometimes I feel like I'm just reading bumper stickers.
I wish I asked for help or advice when I needed it instead of trying to be fiercely independent. Also don’t necessarily spend the money on university, if college courses can qualify you for good paying jobs. Consider a trade - you’ll never be out of work even if you get laid off.
If you don't have any expectations of the others around you, then you can never be disappointed or let down by them
You owe your parents nothing. Whatever sacrifices they made and however hard they worked to ensure you survived to adulthood - that’s what they were **supposed** to do. You don’t owe them grandchildren, you don’t owe them elder care, and you don’t owe it to them to fulfill the plan that they had for your life. Your life is your own. Don’t allow a sense of familial obligation to interfere with your goals for yourself - you’ll just end up old, miserable, and drowning in the sorrows of your shoulda coulda wouldas.
There's "family" and there's "Family". Took me a while to differentiate the two.
I learned that lesson also. I have the most amazing loving family now. I'm only biologically related to a few members of my family.
Load More Replies... If you think you might have children consider something I didn't think of, and I wish someone would have told me: Delaying having kids until my 40s has big tradeoffs: like most my age, my parents had me in their mid 20s. And like many my age I had my kids in my early 40s. By the time my kids are *really* able to develop deep relationships with their grandparents they will be in their late 70s and statistically close to death. Also, at 40 you're tired as f**k with the little aholes :)
My mom had me when she was 42, she died last year of cancer. I'm 33 now and have yet to start considering kids. If I do, she'll never meet them. If I had done so earlier, I would have NOT been ready for them, knowing how I felt and who I was with at that time.
Load More Replies... I lived overseas for 20 years, rarely visited home. On my return, my niece decided on a small wedding. Was getting herself aĺl worked up because we're a huge family. My advice? Can't plse everyone so just please yourself and i got culled from the guest list. Oooff. Least she took my advice.
Way too many of these assume all you have to do to have enough money for anything you want is to stop buying coffee everyday and save that money. Like we can all afford to buy coffee everyday in the first place.
Those are answers that apply to the individual who answered the question. Of course they don't apply for everyone. There is no universal truth, and if you answered the question what you realised too late in life, it wouldn't apply to everyone either. There is no absolute truth out there. There are always exceptions to every rule in life except that everyone dies eventually.
Load More Replies... I can't help but wonder if you only read the title of the overall post and jumped directly down here to make a generalized comment about generalized advice.
Load More Replies... Some good stuff here no doubt. Even so, sometimes I feel like I'm just reading bumper stickers.
I wish I asked for help or advice when I needed it instead of trying to be fiercely independent. Also don’t necessarily spend the money on university, if college courses can qualify you for good paying jobs. Consider a trade - you’ll never be out of work even if you get laid off.
If you don't have any expectations of the others around you, then you can never be disappointed or let down by them
You owe your parents nothing. Whatever sacrifices they made and however hard they worked to ensure you survived to adulthood - that’s what they were **supposed** to do. You don’t owe them grandchildren, you don’t owe them elder care, and you don’t owe it to them to fulfill the plan that they had for your life. Your life is your own. Don’t allow a sense of familial obligation to interfere with your goals for yourself - you’ll just end up old, miserable, and drowning in the sorrows of your shoulda coulda wouldas.
