Many people try to make the phrase "no regrets" their motto, pushing aside thoughts about the past and focusing on the future.
However, not dwelling, but reflecting on past experiences, both positive and negative, can provide valuable lessons and insights that lead to personal growth.
According to a recent survey of 2,000 adults commissioned by UK charity consortium Remember A Charity, four in ten people regret certain aspects of their lives, with spending too much time at work and not traveling being among the most common choices.
So we invite you to think about how we want to spend our time and take a look at a Reddit thread started by platform user Hassan_Wamedh that invited people to share what they wish they would've done differently when they were younger.
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Protect my hearing and my teeth.
I should have left that creepy demeaning religion (Mormonism) 35 years earlier.
Fun fact: did you know that until the mid-70s ish the Mormon religion considered African people to be evil! It’s true! They preached it until they came under fire by the adolescent Civil Rights movement, where that exact night god spoke to the head of church and said black people weret evil after all! What a craaaaaazy coincidence!
Spending more time with my animals. They were gone sooner than I expected and I regret every single time I complained about walking the dog or skipped a riding lesson because I was too busy moping in my room. Appreciate them while they're there, or you'll regret it forever like I do.
My grandfather is Mexican, and he tried to teach me Spanish when I was young, but I was never paying much attention. I’m trying to learn now, before I lose him.
Turning down invites and opportunities to meet new people and travel to new places because I was too hung up on how I looked. I was so hard on myself. And to her I apologise.
Focusing on school and going to college for something I actually want to do.
I’m 34 now, and while I make like 150k a year, I find my career to be a massive waste of time. I work crazy overtime hours and travel, leading to no life.
The trades aren’t all they are cracked up to me.
Hopefully next year I can enroll and shoot for a masters in psychology to be a therapist. F**k sacrificing life for a check. I have no kids and I’m newly single so now is the time.
Therapy. Should have started at 14 instead of 24, this would have prevented most of the dumb things I did.
Thing is, I'm 14 and I know I need it, but I just can't access it because of my parents. Also because they are a significant part of WHY I need therapy.
Do you have a school counselor or a trusted adult you can talk to? I hope you find a way to get the treatment you deserve.
Load More Replies...Everyone should get therapy. It would probably prevent a lot of wars if politicians went through therapy for years.
Amen on the politicians getting therapy - should be mandatory for every member of congress. Oh yeah that's up to them to implement that kinda like age limits.
Load More Replies...I tried therapy at 24, but didn't do it right. (There were things I just wouldn't talk about, for example.) Quit after a few months. From 25-27 I was often deeply depressed. Maybe I should have tried harder to stick it out. At least I avoided making the same mistake: I see a counselor now and usually won't shut up!
I didn't start seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist until i was 34. All those years lost... Pete Walker's books, particularly "Complex PTSD: from surviving to thriving" really opened my eyes and helped. I feel for anyone who has been in an abusive household. Physical or mental, it all affects us.
I'm not sure, but this one seems a much "Better later than never". I hope everything goes well for you.
I waited until 34. glad I finally went but regret not going far far earlier.
You're getting help now and sounds like it's helping you. Please forgive your younger self. I feel like it's very important in moving forward.
We don't have enough friends. Why would I want to pay someone to listen to me talk? I used to have friends and family who would do that.
Not everyone had family that listened, and when we're kids, most of our friends can't help
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Ate healthily or at least with portion control. I developed bad eating habits because I was deprived of food growing up. I'm around 25 lbs heavier than my normal weight. I've always tried going on a diet but always fail.
Trying too hard to keep friends when they used me and took advantage of my kindness, I've learnt that not everyone wants to be your friend and I'm okay with that!
Being diagnosed with ADHD. Looking back it makes so much sense, but I was never tested. I spent years dealing with depression and anxiety over problems caused by it. Hell I dropped out of college twice.
My grandson got on ADHD at 25 - makes me cry when I think about how much he struggled before. You just have to look forward.
Being a better boyfriend to awesome girls i dated when younger.
Well youth is a gradual learning process. One cannot be expected to know everything about how to treat the opposite sex the first years of dating.
Choosing myself.
You can alienate yourself from everyone and everything, but you'll always have yourself with you. So this is the most important person in your life that you need to take care of.
Skipping travel. Missed adventures haunt me. Embrace every opportunity, folks!
Being accepting of who I am.
Throwing off the religion I grew up with and my warped attitude towards sex.
I should have learned to play the guitar, I should have learned to play them drums.
Wearing a condom. I love my kids more than life itself. but life itself has been a lot different and harder than I thought.
Starting a gym routine, trying more activities and being more social.
For mentally health and not crippled by anxiety people only. We wish you a happy gym routine while we’re trying to get up out of bed in the morning.
Be a teenager. I was too eager to grow up and focused almost exclusively on work from 15-25 so I missed out on the whole thing.
I'm now 27 and I started to once again do things that made me happy when I was a teen / child. I build Legos, buy Star Wars figures, watch Digimon, visit places I liked when I was younger... granted, it won't bring those years back, but it brings some much needed serotonin.
Not getting help when I needed it the most.
You are part of a very big club. Soooo hard to ask for help and trust me people that matter will always help you and understand
Attending prom, graduation and other high school graduate activities. I was just so depressed at the time and didn't think anyone would care if I wasn't there. Now I'll never get to experience those things.
Depends on the person I guess, I'm like 10 years out of school and I haven't regretted not going, not even once. I had very little connection to those people and they cared more about getting drunk than making memories.
Here are a couple - make working out a hobby, take care of your skin, use Moisturizer/sunscreen, take better care of teeth, spend more time with your parents and capture those moments(photos/videos).
This is anecdotal but the moisturizing / sunscreen part seems to be true. My best friend is in her 70s. I've known her over 50 years. She wears almost no makeup but she has always a light base coat or moisturizer just to protect her face. She has aged SO much more gracefully than her peers and most people guess her age as much younger than her real age. I can't prove how much of that is from the moisturizer but it seems like it helped.
Studying abroad when I was in college.
Studying abroad is nice, but overrated. Working abroad is where it's at!
Reflecting on past experiences serves as a powerful tool for understanding our personal growth and development. While some may adopt the 'no regrets' motto, it's crucial to acknowledge the valuable lessons that our past teaches us. This perspective aligns with the idea that many older individuals wish they had taken more time to enjoy life's simple moments.
You can explore these reflections further in an insightful discussion on how older adults view missed opportunities.
Dumping my abusive ex before he belittled all of my interests. I'd have a stellar career right now if I did.
Lots of other comments resonate with me, so hard to select one. Having confidence to make my own decisions and not rely on people to 'encourage' me.
This year, I'm willing to overcome this and offer my book to a publisher. Wish me luck :)
Not going to college when I had the chance.
Got talked out of going into psychology because I was told that all those types of people are crazy pychos. I wish I had done it anyway.
Letting myself be pressured into being in a relationship with a much older man who was abusive. I was with this man who was in his late 50’s from when I was 21-25 and I wish I got out sooner. I feel like I wasted so much time with him but he would threaten me if I tried to leave him. I’ve been out of that relationship for almost 3 years now and still trying to heal.
That is terrible. I hope OP is doing very well without him and good riddance!
I had a friend from college who did alot of comic conventions. He would always invite me and my at the time gf to travel with he and his wife. But my job had me working all the time which I had to do BC of bills....always bills to pay. He passed away some years ago and i regret not hanging out more. I wish I had just said "these bills will be here regardless, lets go."
Following my own interests instead of seeking parental approval.
If ones parents are the strict inflexible type I can see that point of view. But the average teen often rejects really practical good advice from their parents, thus often getting into major life troubles. Listen to your parents, they may actually know more than you!
Investing more emotionally in my children. So many people praise their kids for everything. “Everyone is a winner! Everyone gets a prize!” So many of these kids grow up to be entitled a******s. I raised my children more realistically. When they did well I praised them when they fell short we talked about how to do better next time. They are great kids and I wanted to raise good people. Kind people but also able and willing to do the work to do well in life. Accountable. They are both in great universities and are great students. They are doing well by any measure you can think of but are not happy. Both have bad social anxiety and struggle with relationships. My son is very driven and seldom happy with his work. Always feels he could have done more. Never had a girlfriend and struggles with friendships. I should have just hugged them more. They are responsible good people. I wish they were happier.
Exploring my sexuality.
I think it would have been a great experience to have done a foreign exchange program in high school.
Researching my career path more. There are so many things I wish I did instead of spending 3 years in college, then 4 in university, only to still be unhappy in my career.
People in this day and age change jobs and careers every few years. Can still make the change if you are not happy.
Two things.
- I regret not taking my education and future career more seriously.
- And I regret not taking a chance at love with two different people at two different times, out of respect for a 'bro code' that hardly anyone ever even follows themselves and for people who didn't even turn out to be long term friends.
I'm not sure which one I would change if I could go back and do it over. One cancels out the other because if my life was a bit more focused and less wayward, I probably wouldn't have even met these people that I still think about today. I'm gonna go with education and career. I feel like if I had chosen a way and worked on a comfortable life, everything else would be much better too.
There is nothing wrong with just being competent at what you do. It gives one free time to do things you enjoy. Too many people get obsessed with having to be the best at their career that they have shallow lives outside of their work.
I regret having a boyfriend. At that young age I should be playing with toys, doing homework and living my best life, not worrying about relationships.
I honestly don't get kids needing to have relationships at 11-15. Friendships are hard enough to navigate, never mind other relationships. I blame everybody who makes out kids can't just be good friends and pushing this "boyfriend and girlfriend" nonsense on little kids.
Fighting back and not take bullying. Learn ju jitsu and be able to defend myself. I wish I also really learned to use words to communicate with people and practice active listening and varying your approach based on personalities.
Learning how to sew. My mom had a sewing machine and made my clothes when I was little. She also made clothes for my Barbies. I was never interested and got frustrated the few times that she tried to teach me as a kid. We did a little sewing in high school, but my projects were pretty bad. Now, I wish that I could make my own clothes or even just alter/repair stuff. There really aren't classes for sewing near me and I don't learn well from video.
These days sewing your own clothes (or knitting them) usually costs more due to the cost of materials. I know people who were very skilled at both who don't know due to the high cost of skeens of yarn and material. But I do think everyone should have basic sewing skills. I can't sew outfits and don't want to but I can and halve sewed tears, patches, hemmed pants and so on. Sounds basic (cuz it is) but I've met people who can't do that.
Finding a good friends group. I'd think I'd be a lot better of person if I had people who genuinely wanted to hang out with me. I was one of those kids where if you were in a room and someone would have to pick who they hung out with it wouldn't be me most of the time and it still probably is like that other then my bf.
Not investing time in carving a better physical version of myself. I jumped in on the bandwagon quite late and it seems to be the perfect solution for most of my insecurities that I had harbored in my younger days. It alleviates so many problems of your life that it is something that everyone should embark on as early as possible in their lives !
Choosing to pursue my own interests rather than seeking my parents' approval—a liberating journey of self-discovery and authenticity.
I regret not getting a job. I was at home looking after my late mom and everyone else and doing ALL of the housework cause my sorry family thought that they were too good to do anything especially my late mom. She told me that my job was to look after them and do the housework forever. She didn't cook didn't clean didn't do laundry and barely raised us. My siblings think they had a good life; I ain't gonna stir the pot and start anything. I told them after our mom died that I won't do anything like that again. It's the parents job to look after the kids not the kids to look after themselves that's just wrong.
Running away and getting emancipated at 16. However, my life at that time was in chaos due to abusive parents.
Not telling someone about my abusive sexually and physically abusive mom and step-dad so that I could of had an attempt at a normal childhood.
Looking back on how many opportunities I didn’t realize I had because I was an idiot and didn’t pick up what I now realize as heavy signals from girls to make a move.
Honestly, and this is going to sound terrible, but I kind of wish I was a lot meaner in high school, LOL 🤣 people needed to get told off more, and I was such a people pleaser.
Documenting the times I was living in and the experiences I was having. I was born in 2000 and remember being somewhat aware of my own existence by 3 or so, though 4 onward was when I could really tell what was going on. My childhood wasn't the best, but it had a lot of good moments that I wish that I had more than just my memories to go off of when thinking about them. It would have been cool to take photos and videos of things like my Sega Dreamcast and the games I played on our CRT TV in the basement or watching my dad sit and eat chips in the living room while playing Grand Theft Auto III on his Playstation 2 he had recently bought. Maybe I'd record a day of me fooling around on the family computer as Windows XP booted up and I scurried over to Internet Explorer with its clunky yet personality filled interface as I looked up images of Super Saiyan 100 Goku on Google images. The list goes on.
Life has changed so much in the last 10 to 20 years, my personal life especially, and while in some ways, it's been for the better, I miss those days of the early 2000s more and more with each passing year. Life is so complicated now.
Oh my word just start doing it now. I have 60+ years of memories I wished I had documented and so many people gone now
Play D&D. Got into it in my early 30s and all my friends have jobs or plans with their partners on the weekends so it takes months to find common time.
this is why I love solo RPGs. Or MMOs where I can solo or drop in/out of group things with other players. It provides the escape / imagination fuel without having coordinate with a group of people locally. I was around when D&D was a thing but home computers and the internet were not. Computer version much easier.
Kiss the girl. Some form of military service. Move out of parents home. Stand up to bullies, including family, much earlier.
I mean technically 1-2 years ago I was younger, id tell myself to be brutally honest & not second guess myself.
Getting good grades/academics. I’m now on my way to becoming an attorney. But not without a lot of difficulty. Much more than I would have endured had I been diligent in making good grades in the first place.
I wish wasn’t to passive to teachers in high school, I should of stood up for myself when they were abusing their power.
OP should HAVE paid more attention in school. "Should of" is not a substitute for "should've".
Going to Australia when I was 18 like I was stuck in a dead end job, most embarrassing place to work in my life, and I still stayed in it. The team leader also threatened to ‘let me go’ in my probation period so I should’ve just left.
Buying $100 in Bitcoin when I was 14.
I wish I knew where my old gateway laptop went. It was mining back when mining was a new things. I probably had enough BC on there to retire and then some. Its likely crushed in a landfill by now.
Well, everyone has 20/20 hindsight. What helped me, many years later, was to say to myself 'With the information I had at the time, do I regret doing what I did." Quite often, my answer was no, despite various poor outcomes.
Well, everyone has 20/20 hindsight. What helped me, many years later, was to say to myself 'With the information I had at the time, do I regret doing what I did." Quite often, my answer was no, despite various poor outcomes.
