“Pets Are Family”: Family Therapist Explains Why Pets Mean So Much More Than That To Their Humans
Interview With ExpertHumans usually love and adore their little pet buddies. However, sometimes, we don’t fully realize just how much they actually mean to us.
One X user recently posted something that he learned in his years as a marriage and family therapist, which he felt should’ve been obvious all along. To us, our pets are often every bit as important as the rest of our family, and when it comes to grief, that is visible more than ever. Scroll down to read all of it!
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Sometimes, it takes grief to realize the immense importance that our pets really hold in our lives
Image credits: Tranmautritam (not the actual photo)
While observing his patients, the therapist realized that most people see their pets as actual full members of their family, and the grief when they lose them is equally as heavy
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
The man explained that our attachment to them provides us stability and security, and to some people who lack strong family or social bonds, can be life-changing
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
But even though the grief over a lost pet is just as significant as over a lost close family member, our society doesn’t usually offer the same kind of emotional and social empathy
Image credits: Peng Louis (not the actual photo)
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
The therapist summarized that it’s essential to give yourself time to make your peace with the passing of your pet family member, no matter what others might say
In one of his series of posts on the X platform, Josh Weed, a therapist working with families and married couples, decided to share his newfound insights into human and pet connection, which he learned through observing grief.
He said that sometimes, the intensity and the effect of a lost pet affected his clients the same as the loss of their primary family members. This is because our pet buddies, in the sense of attachment, are actually our real family members.
Josh explained that they provide us with stability and security, and there are plenty of examples where pets can be absolutely life-changing for people working through difficult times in their lives.
According to the therapist, the grieving process that we go through after losing a pet is identical to that of losing a close human being. However, our society often doesn’t see it that way and expects us to drop a couple of tears and keep going.
In the end, Josh urged people to let themselves take time to grieve their pets because, after all, they’re an equal part of our family. He also shared pictures of his own four-pawed family member.
People in the comments were moved by these posts, and they, too, joined in, sharing pictures and stories of their beloved pet friends and talking about the effect left by the loss of some of them.
Image credits: The_Weed
Image credits: The_Weed
To get some additional insights on the subject, Bored Panda reached out to an animal behaviorist, Julie Bond, who was happy to lend us her expertise.
According to her, there are some excellent reasons why we and our pets form such strong bonds with each other. Many animals, especially cats and even more so dogs, have shared their lives and co-evolved with humans for a long time.
The expert explained that these relationships are symbiotic, benefiting both sides. Pets provide us with unconditional love, support, and attention while we give them shelter, food, love, and devotion. “Petting your dog or cat lowers your blood pressure, evens out your breathing, and causes the release of endorphins, thus making you feel better. And you know what? Your pet reaps those same benefits.”
The animal behaviorist said that while some may say childless people are replacing children with pets, that’s not really true, at least not according to the numbers. Yet, pets are treated as family because often, they do become actual family members to us.
No matter how close to us, other humans may, in some way, judge us. But our pets love us unconditionally, which is the foundation of every human-animal bond. “They ask nothing from you, quietly observing and waiting for you to truly see them for what they are… your only family members you get to choose for yourself!” said Julie, talking about how many of our daily problems can be made not so heavy by simply spending time with our pets.
When it comes to loss, the expert emphasized that we need to remember that grief over a lost family member is by no means silly or frivolous, and it makes no difference if they are human or not. Taking time to grieve is essential, and this process might differ for everyone.
Julie further added that getting a new pet straight away likely won’t fill the void. “Doing so too quickly does a disservice to that new animal who is trying to form a lasting bond with you,” explained the expert, pointing out that animals grieve too, so the loss of one pet at home will be felt by the others.
The animal behaviorist closes up by saying you shouldn’t shy away from help if needed. There are loss support hotlines like the National Pet Loss Hotline operating during the workdays, which can reached by calling 855-352-LOVE (5683), and for pets, you should always speak to your veterinarian, who will provide the needed resources.
Image credits: Ivan Babydov (not the actual photo)
To better understand how our pets experience grief and how we could better help them through it, VCA gives us some good examples and tips.
While the animals can’t just up and tell us how they feel, the article tells us that there are a few ways in which they might show it. Animals may become more vocal than usual and sleep more than they tend to do. They may also become more clingy or, quite contrary, show less interest in spending time together.
Grieving pets may also change their grooming and bathroom habits. They might also exhibit seeking behavior, often looking for their lost companion.
Fortunately, there are some things we can do to help them. Letting them investigate the deceased may provide some closure, and keeping up with the usual routines can bring a sense of security.
It’s also good to mindfully try something new or simply spend time together. Still, the hardest part is not to appear down in front of your pet as it may distress them, even if being comforted by them is so nice in any other situation. And in anything, as Julie Bond said, it’s always wise to seek out professional help.
In the end, it’s evident that with the many differences that humans and animals have, there are also many things, like grief, which we experience all the same. And the most important thing to remember is that all of it is equally real.
What did you think about this? Do you have any related stories about your pets you’d like to share? Let’s have a talk down in the comments!
Commenters were very moved and inspired to share stories about their own beloved furry and feathery family members
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100 times this! It is SO difficult to get across to people who aren't animal lovers how this impacts one's life.
I honestly didn't get it until a month ago. Took 14 year-old kitty to the vet for chronic illness and was gently told she really didn't feel well and it was time to say good-bye TODAY. I'd never lost a pet before. I'm still amazed how hard that hit. I'm just now recovering
Load More Replies...The worst feeling in the world is watching your pet suffer, realizing “it is time”, and the guilt you feel that you “failed” them. :’(
Yes. My last dog, Dio, was one of my soulmates in this life. When he was 11, he got bladder cancer, and I had to watch him quickly decline. Every day, I made the heart wrenching decision of whether or not it seemed like his life was still worth living to him. When it was finally time, I laid on the floor of the vets office, holding him and crying. He was sitting in my lap when he died. 7 years later, I still wonder if I waited too long and prolonged his suffering. Remembering his pain still rips me apart inside. But it was absolutely, 100 times over worth the 11 amazing years I got to spend with that special, smart, loving, silly creature. <3
Load More Replies...This really hit home. We had to say goodbye to 2 of our 3 kitties within 3 weeks in August, and I still struggle with it. They were 14 and it was pretty sudden. I realize they weren't the same as human kids, but we don't have kids. They were family. I've been working from home for almost 4 years, and so spent a lot of time with them. One in particular was a huge comfort as I also dealt with helping an aging parent. I could come home and cuddle her and feel better. It's not just a day or two being sad and then moving on.
Thank you for sharing this. Every single day, when I'm apart from my dog, I think about him and something lights up inside of me, some deep burst of absolute love. I think about losing him and I feel pre-grief (is that a thing?). I came across an article about animals the other day and read that someone who kills a pet faces only 3 years in jail and a fine. Now I'm a huge advocate of criminal justice reform, but in this case the punishment seems to pale in comparison to the crime. Thanks for reading my random post!
I understand the pre grief remark perfectly, it's the bad anticipation of pain. As to people who are the lowest of scum to hurt a trusting animal, I hope there is a hell. My cat trusts and loves me completely, I have never even raised my voice to her, never mind hitting her.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of a moral dilemma/ethics question I heard long ago (I think a variation was used in the movie “A Man and a Woman”): “Imagine that you are in The Louvre Museum, contemplating the Mona Lisa. There is a cat, there, in the room. Suddenly, a fire starts. Which one would you save? The Mona Lisa, the famous Leonardo's portrait of a woman (called ‘Gioconda’), or the cat?” My answer is ALWAYS the cat. The cat is a little life, while the painting, however precious, is not. It would be tremendously cold and callous of me to leave a living creature to die horribly in favor of some paint and canvas. Though if I could save both, then that would be the best outcome. But if it’s one or the other, and can’t be both, then sorry Mona. The cat wins. My pets are part of my family. It’s Christmastime right now, and they also have large presents under the tree, and stockings—-with their names on them—-hanging by the fireplace with small presents and treats in them. All my animals have been treated the same. When they pass on, they’re treated with dignity, mourned deeply, and missed intensely. We even talk about them from time to time. “Remember how Scruffy used to….? “I was just thinking about the time Smudgy…”. Just like you remember things about family members who have passed.
I'd save the cat. I'm not even a cat person, but A) a living thing is far more important than a painting, and B) the Mona Lisa is vastly overrated. I know, I've seen it in person.
Load More Replies...So glad that the therapist is pointing this out - maybe if it comes from a pro, it sounds more credible than from non-pros? I'm still grieving for my beloved cat Filou, who died 9 years ago next January. Had him in my life for 14,5 years, and I loved him with all my heart and soul. He may not have been the brightest tool in the box, but he definitely loved me back. I couldn't even be with him when he died/was put to sleep - Mom thought it would have been too traumatic for me and didn''t tell me about his passing until the evening, when I was off work. But it made me feel like I failed to be there for him as I told him countless times I would be. My then-boss was basically like "it was just a cat, get over it" when I cried during my break the next day at work. God, how I hated her for being so cold-hearted...
My first cat lived for 17 years. I got her in my 20s. I had always wanted a cat growing up, but my parents didn't like them. So, I was so excited to have my first cat. We bonded instantly. She was with me through 3 pregnancies, job changes, my AI diagnosis, and 5 moves--one of those being international. When I had to say goodbye to her the pain was unlike anything I've experienced before. After she passed and they took her, I sat in the room wailing. I had no idea I could even make those sounds. And it didn't even seem like it was coming from me. It wasn't something I couldnt control. Had no idea it was possible to feel that heartbroken before that moment.
There is nothing truer than this. Pets are family. When I lost my 16 year old kitty in April, I felt grief worse than I had felt for any family member I’ve ever lost, and I’ve experienced many losses. Our pets are part of our daily routine. They love us unconditionally. They’re THERE. And when they’re not, when we have no one to wake up in the morning to feed, when they’re not there to greet us happily when we get home, the grief hits us in the face over and over again throughout the day. The grief is REAL, our feelings are VALID, and we need space to HEAL.
I recently lost my first pet that I got on my own as an adult and the grief was powerful. Similar to what I've gone through losing family members and I'm still grieving. I've seen so many people completely upended after losing their pet and then just having to go on with their day. I would say one of the better things about working in an animal clinic is that whenever one of us lost a pet our work took it seriously and wouldn't think twice about sending you home or giving you the day off because we all "got it".
I'm disabled and chronicly ill, and my cat is my main social contact. I've always known that having a companion pet was essential to my mental health, so I got Boo only a month after losing my beloved cat of 13 years, Spook. I didn't feel ready, and I'm still missing Spook, but Boo has been a life-line, and it helps to not be grieving her alone. Boo doesn't replace Spook, Spook was irreplaceable and my family. Boo just took over her job as my companion, and I've come to love him for his own self. Now he is my family too. If your pet is your primary attachment, please adopt another one, even if you don't feel ready. You need to grieve, and you need to heal; you don't need to do so alone.
The neighbor poisoned my 3 dogs with antifreeze in late October. The dogs were just 3 years old. Two died, and one is trying to recover. I know it was them. They complained to anyone who would listen about dogs running loose. I live in farmland with land parcels greater than 40 acres. A loss of this nature is so hard to process. Harder than natural death, I think. I am still reeling.
I'm so sorry to hear! If you can, try to set up cameras near their place so hopefully if they try again, you can catch them and have them charged.
Load More Replies...I still grieve my childhood "dog", Jess (from Jester") 14 year later. My Nan died the same year and both hurt as much as the other
I lost "my" dog when I was a teen, we had several, MANY years ago, I went almost 30 years without a pet I was so torn up, even after I moved out I didn't even consider it. Roomies and stuff didn't help. :) When I got my first place all by my lonesome, I chose to get cats... never looked back. In the 18-ish years since I got my first one I have lost several, and it hurts even worse that human family. My thought is that you see your pets every day, you live with them; more distant family, while no less loved, is more distant.
Load More Replies...For 10 years, the military has stationed me thousands of miles away from everyone I know and love; between being traumatized, being unable to put down roots for more than a couple years before being whisked off somewhere else to start over yet again, and generally being introverted, I've been extremely socially isolated for the lion's share of that time. My dogs are, in the depths of my deepest most crushing depression and loneliness, a very literal lifeline. They're also a source of unconditional love for someone who grew up in a family that made it absolutely clear that their love was conditional, and those conditions were ever-changing to ensure I never met them. I would rather lose everything I owned than see anything happen to them; I'm not exaggerating when I say they're like my furry children.
You never see a "No humans were harmed during the making of this film" at the end of a movie. Just Sayin'
My god, I so get this. 2023 was 40 years since the loss of my beloved childhood pet - a fine Golden Retriever named "Cinnamon". I picked him out when I was four; a present to me when Mum came home with my baby brother. You could not define a more insuperable companion than he - so much so, that I find myself tearing up as I write this. See ya at the Bridge one day, old boy.
I have grieved the loss of mt Daisy Serendipity in a way that eclipses the very real grief I have had for family members. I can remember the people and smile and laugh. I don't well up at the mention of their names. I love them dearly, but human relationships are fraught with fights, misunderstandings, hurt feelings. Real trauma. In many cases, even if relationships are repaired, you don't forget. The relationship with an animal is pure. Pure love. Sure, she slid down the front of a 1617 slant-top desk that was a family heirloom. Sure, she tipped over my Christmas tree and broke every ornament I cared about. There was no malice intended. And now I look at the claw marks sliding down the front of that desk, and I cry, missing her. She crawled into my lap and had a stroke in the middle of the night. I'd just moved to a new city, so had to find a 24 hour vet, and made the worst decision I've ever had too. I'm sobbing just typing this out. This is serious pain. Other pet people know.
Can confirm. When my previous cattle dog died, I checked into a motel with an unreasonable amount of vodka and cried for 3 days before I could even think of returning home.
Dr. Sarah Hoggan has a couple of great Ted talks. I recommend them on the Lap of Love support page (FB) periodically. I found them a few days after our dog's Chocolate Day. I don't know what search terms I used, but man, how great that I found her. My husband has yet to get through it. It's hard; I still pause to wipe my tears and blow my knows. Anyhow, anyone that's grieving, lost, stuck, etc. search for this veterinarian's talks.
Chocolate Day. OMG. That made me gasp out loud. Beautiful idea. I have cats, but I get what it means. <3 Thank you for the suggested Ted Talks.
Load More Replies...We have had several cats over the years, and I've cried more over each one's passing than I did over my father's (and I had a very good relationship with my father, so it wasn't a case of "good riddance").
They're not "Pets". They're Fam. You take them in,you love them,they love you. And of course, it breaks you when they go. That's what proves how much Love there was.
I used to manage a vet clinic. I always offered Dr. Notes to anyone that just had a pet loose. I would put the initials of the pet and informed the client to just say you had a death in the family.
I lost my dog 2 days ago. He had heart cancer apparently. 10 days before he died he was barking, running, shaking his tail. But two days later he would just stay in one place and refuse to eat his favorite snacks. Took him to the vet many times and first it was thought he only had pancreatitis. Which is something you can live with so we just focused on stopping the vomiting and loss of appetite. Then we found out it was heart cancer and he died 2 days later. I've cried so much and I still am. It took us by surprise, it all happened so fast and it isn't fair, he was supposed to live a few more years. I miss him so much, I love him so much. I'm unable to do my work and all I do is watch videos and read Bored Panda to distract myself from actually realizing how he's not here sitting next to me right now.
Oh yeah and exactly what breaks my soul the most is the suffering he had to go through. He died on his own before euthanasia was supposed to happen. I know I did everything I could but I am still so sad about the fact he had to endure so much, he did nothing to deserve all that pain, he was such a good boy
Load More Replies...This is also true for reptiles. Idc what ppl think about reptiles but they bring me more joy than any mamal could and I feel closer to my snakes than even my dogs. Losing my bearded dragon was one of the hardest things ever, watching him die in my hands. It's hard to think about him without crying even 3 years later.
I literally love my three dogs 1% less than my immediate family members. I love them more than anyone else or anything else in my life. They are furry toddlers than never learn to use words but love me unconditionally and I love them unconditionally.
The people who didn't get it often followed condolences with the question of "Are you getting another". At first I lost a little respect for those who asked. Now I just feel sorry that they don't get it while patiently explaining that's it's waaaay to soon to ask.
When my cat was crushed by a car and she died in my arms, I can with all certainty say that I cried for her a thousand times more than I cried when my dad died. I didnt have a close relationship with him, but I had rescued her from the street on a cold day, when she was undernourished, like a little skeleton covered in frayed fur, sitting on the pavement, trying to get some warmth from the winter sun. I took her home and she became the most beautiful and loving cat. I adored her eyes, so big and round and shiny. I couldnt go to work the day after her death, or sleep for about two weeks because I immediately saw her little body dying in my arms. I used to be a believer. I had been taught that god would give us eternal life in a paradise. And since I was a child I had been fascinated by the stars and the universe, and I believed that, having eternal life, one day I would be able to visit other places, other stars, other planets. But after she died, my hope died with her. Why would I want...
...to live forever with this pain? Is she in another planet, where I could go and find her? No. She's dead, buried in my backyard. So I don't want to live forever. I don't want to travel anywhere. I barely have the strength or desire to keep living this cr*ppy life.
Load More Replies...If it takes 20 tweets, maybe X isn't the right medium to post this. That said, the hardest thing I've ever had to do is to take pets to the vet for the last time. It's because they're so innocent, they don't know what's happening to them, or what's about to happen. I've cried just as much for them as I have for my parents.
My cat of 19 years died in 2019. Her name was Bunny Precious. She had kidney disease and didn't respond to the treatments. I'd had her since she was a little kitten that fit in the palm of my hand. She had been there for me through many of life's hard times including the death of my mother and a very heartbreaking end of a 7 year relationship. She was my reason to be strong and keep going. Since she passed I have been depressed and feel like I am just falling into each next day just because I am still here. I have thought about getting another pet but I don't think I could handle losing another one. God should have made the lifespan of loved pets to match our own, because I would have gladly gone with her when she left here.
I feel this so hard. I spend every minute possible with her sinds I have her. I am happy to say my fur baby is with me , but last week I almost lost her. I was heartbroken and still after a week I am recovering from all the stress, tears and panic attacks. This pain or pain of losing your pet is like harder then any pain you can handle. I give my respect to all who lost their beloved pet.
I still cannot get over the fact that I wasn't able to say goodbye to my cat that died 2 and a half years ago... it feels like I abandoned him. I brought him to the vet because from one day to the other he suddenly wouldn't eat anymore and just throw up, so they told me to leave him with them and they will do some checks. Next day they wanted to perform a surgery because they saw an obstruction on the X-ray, but they called me mid-surgery and told me it wasn't something he ate but that he was full of cancer and I should let him go which I did because I didn't want him to suffer. If it hadn't been in the middle of the pandemic I would have been able to say goodbye when leaving him there. It makes me tear up every time I think about him.
I miss my dog so much, he wasnt even old he was just a baby but he got cancer 😞 i wish id got to say goodbye to him
I'm still struggling to cope with the loss of my dog. He was the bestest boi 💔😢
I used to believe this even before ever having had my own, first ever animal companion. I always loved animals because they never judged me and they always seemed to also love me back in return and accept me, if judging by the fact that I never once had an animal attack me, at most avoiding me because I myself always knew better than to disturb an animal if they didn't want to respond to my frienship requests. But I always found it easier to understand animals' behaviour than human ones, because animals have a natural sincerity to them, you understand their behavior if you only have a little common sense. People on the other hand can just lie and make their behaviour way harder to understand. Also after having grown older, it just made sense for me, evolutionarily and psychologically speaking, that investing feelings and thoughts into something creates a deep relationship with that something, even if another species or even objects.
We've had so many dogs and cats that have needed to be put to sleep or just passed away one day. It never gets easier, because each one is so different in their own way. The pain never lessens either, you just begin stepping back more and more, life telling you to move away to get the bigger picture, and you see the hole is smaller in distance now. But it's just the same size. My friend over in the UK was dumbfounded by how many critters we have now, and have had, and asked why. It's basically just because they find us (especially with the kitties). We won't leave a soul to rot on the streets, so we take them in (up to a point). We have food for the rest, and idk how many dogs my friends and I have rescued while Pokémon Going. They were already family dogs too. We just can't let creatures who don't know any better into danger wittingly.
Anybody who tells an animal lover that animals have no souls has no soul themself.
Load More Replies...Just wanted to respond to the comment that the grief for the loss of a pet can equal that of a close family member. I love my family dearly, and when close family members have passed, I definitely grieved... but the intensity of grief paled in comparison to when my dog died. I have come to terms with the loss of family members, but even after many years, I still have a lot of lingering feelings about my pup. There's something about that connection that is very different than the connections we make with other humans.
I lost a cat of 10 years a week after a vet visit where he was given an updated vaccination and a clean bill of health. He'd had an aneurysm out of nowhere. I could not function for the remainder of the week. Felt like I'd failed him just for bringing him to the vet, which now I know is silly, but at the time I regretted it so much.
I love my cats more than any member of my family. Probably because they don’t abuse or gaslight me. It’s the only unconditional love I’ve ever known. I’m not sure if I’ll cry when my mom dies but I will fall apart when one of my babies goes to kitty heaven. I’ve lost a few cats (I’m in my 40s) and it’s the worst grief and pain. Just thinking about it makes me tear up.
I was so devastated when my dogs passed when I was growing up I decided not to have pets as an adult. Then I accidentally acquired my first cat, now I have 3 and I'm going to be absolutely devastated when they go. But I've decided it's worth the devastation, they are my favorite things in the world and I couldn't picture coming home or waking up to an empty house.
No pet owner is at all surprised by this. All it takes to make me cry is to think for half a minute of the times I've held my babies in my arms while they were put to sleep.
Years ago, I was the neighborhood cat lady. One day I found a kitten in a box on my stoop. I had a coworker who had been suffering from depression and we were all worried about her. (1980s) She would not go to therapy. We went over with the kitten, along with food, litter box, etc. Her life turned around as she now had someone else to care for. I said I would take the kitten back if she didn't want it, but she kept it.
My cat was diagnosed with a rare terminal illness during the first summer of Covid. The vet couldn't really give me a prognosis as she'd only seen 3 other cases each living 1 month, 3 months and 1 year. There was no pain or discomfort involved in the illness so I decided to try to fight it and prolong his life. 15 months later he got spleen cancer (unrelated to his other illness) and it was time to let him go, he was 16.5 years old.
My puppy is absolutely my baby! I don't have any kids, and I love him just like he was one. We're getting ready to take him to see some Christmas lights right now!
Thank-you for this post. It's been a little over a year since my very precious Teebeetoo died unexpectedly. The vet had assured me that while it might take a while, she would indeed get better. She didn't. And I have been absolutely devastated since. But as you say, people think you should get over it already. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her still.
I lost my 10 year old lab/border collie mix, Jake, a little over five months ago, and veterinary negligence contributed to his death. Thought I had at LEAST five years left with him - he had a ton of energy and personality. It was a major shock to have him start exhibiting small behavioral changes and then ten to fourteen days later pass. Went from an active boy that would bounce tennis balls to amuse himself to this dog that ended up completely exhausted from walking a few feet. Still hurts every single day. I can handle a pet passing from old age or an animal that has a terminal illness or needs to be euthanized because the quality of life is gone (although that's tougher.) But, losing a pet before their time is a special kind of hell. I feel so much guilt for trusting his vet and so much anger at the vet who thought she should blame us for not taking him elsewhere when her staff kept acting like we needed to give meds time to work. Joey's Legacy has been therapeutic for me...
I lost Frodo, my 13yo tabby, very suddenly and unexpectedly in October. He was with me through two relationships, grief of so many loved ones, and was my only reason for getting out of bed some days. He very suddenly threw a blood clot (no prior issues diagnosed, he had just been in for a checkup a few months before)... It was what they call a "saddle clot" and even IF we could get the clot to dissolve the collateral damage done & chance of recurrence was guaranteed to mean a very short, miserable *possible* extension of his life. We had to make that call at two in the morning. I have never, ever, ever cried that hard over any other loss. I still miss him. I still reach for him in the middle of the night when I'm half asleep and wake up and want to know he's here to feel safe and fall back asleep. I miss getting greeted at the door every day when I get home, or my kisses before I left for the day. I miss him... and I think about him every single day.
When I lost my childhood dog it was the same. She literally saved me, I had planned on ending my life one day and she just wouldn't leave my side. Forced her way into my arms and laid on me, refused to get up (she was easily 60lbs of big dog, I couldn't get her to move) and I just broke down. She laid with me until it passed, then let me up. She slept with me every night since (normally with my parents before then) until I moved out. I still miss her. She passed away years ago now. Some animals just get you on a level no one else ever could hope to.
Load More Replies...Many years ago, my job was to read and code medical records. An elderly woman was admitted to the psychiatric unit with a chief complaint of her dog had died. She was a widow and her husband had given her the dog. Now I am elderly, and my dogs died this year. Due to my age and health, it's best not to get another one. I am heartbroken.
This is not judgemental but it was because of feelings like these that I became vegan. My life is devoted to my motley collection of pets - and I had an epiphany how could I love one type and eat another :(
NGL this made me cry. I lost two 16+ year old sibling cats during 2022. The first to pneumonia (we think), her sister visibly deteriorated over the next 6 months from advanced kidney disease but also from missing her sister. I crashed so badly after the first I went onto antidepressants, unfortunately, my body couldn’t tolerate them. Seriously bad side effects including blackouts and slurred speech but I was so messed up mentally it took being forcibly told by my line manager to take short term disability to “sort myself out”. Because I was incapable of connecting the dots between the medication and my physical symptoms. Doc signed me out for a month to give the SSI antidepressants to get out of my system and insisted on therapy at least twice weekly to talk through my pain with someone who didn’t say “it’s just a cat”. Yeah… that. Just a cat. I had all the symptoms of high PTSD for just a cat. You know what I would never dream of saying? It’s just a child, you can have more or adopt. Because that would make me an effing sociopath!
I am glad to see a therapist speaking on this. I take in senior animals for sanctuary and when they die, as expected, I feel very little. Just glad I could be there for them since no one else was. Also, because those inconvenient animals were discarded, I forget how much others care. So I am often surprised by the depths of my own feelings when I lose a chosen pet like my saddle horse who I had for from a yearling until his accident at 19. Having expected 5-10 more years I was devastated and collapsed on the carcass. My husband had to untangle my fingers from his mane and help me up so our neighbor could move his carcass with the skid steer for burial.
I lost three pets I was very bonded to (two to lymphoma one to sudden onset heart failure) and in between the cats passing and losing my dog, a random cat stepped into my life that was somehow the exact same as the cat I had just lost. I had Soos to help me through Ripley's diagnosis and death, but when cancer took him from me last year I hoped I'd find "him" again immediately just like before. But I guess miracles are a "one and done" sort of thing.
This hit hard, my cat died due to an attack by our wild coyotes and we were all broken by losing him. It didn't help with my family getting a male dog just a month after, I don't know why but I was fine with my female dog, but not the male. I already have issues with males and this just didn't help. My female cat is still here and she's been obsessed with me because it hurt me the most, since he spent the most time with me
I'm really glad I grew up on a farm and I can look at animals from both sides: They can be your best friend, but at the same time they're "just" animals. To explain it better: you should treat every animal with dignity and respect and try to give him a good life. But often people tend to project a lot of their human emotions into a living being that can't discuss or argue with you. An animal is just fine as they can do their animal things and get their natural requirements fullfilled. I see a lot of misguided "animal lovers" that put their own agenda over the needs of a pet. And yeah, the same animal lovers won't recognize that their carnivore pet is a nightmare for other species (looking at you, cats. And I own a rescue cat myself). My post may seem harsh, but imho it can help to see another side. Edit: getting an animal to fulfill YOUR needs is just like having a child to fix your marriage. Pets are wonderful, but they shouldn't be kept in the first place to help you.
I understand what you're saying, and there's some validity to your opinions, but posting it here where most of the other commenters have dealt with, or are currently dealing with, an incredible amount of grief over losing a pet, seems rather callous and insensitive. Your comments, posted elsewhere, would likely be greeted differently. Here, they come across as "get over it, it's just a pet."
Load More Replies...God this is so true, especially about the bereavement. I get two paid days off for a cousin that I haven't seen in 20 years, but when my beloved pup Roamer passes, who I have spent every day with for the past 14 years, I get nothing. I can't even remember a time befroe I had Roamer, he has made my life so much better!
When I had to put my Oscar to sleep, I called in to work that I wouldn't be in and explained why. The manager I talked to was very understanding. However, when I did return to work and was talking about it, another co worker just said," just get another one." Which I thought was very thoughtless to say. Like my dear Oscar was so easy to replace!
100 times this! It is SO difficult to get across to people who aren't animal lovers how this impacts one's life.
I honestly didn't get it until a month ago. Took 14 year-old kitty to the vet for chronic illness and was gently told she really didn't feel well and it was time to say good-bye TODAY. I'd never lost a pet before. I'm still amazed how hard that hit. I'm just now recovering
Load More Replies...The worst feeling in the world is watching your pet suffer, realizing “it is time”, and the guilt you feel that you “failed” them. :’(
Yes. My last dog, Dio, was one of my soulmates in this life. When he was 11, he got bladder cancer, and I had to watch him quickly decline. Every day, I made the heart wrenching decision of whether or not it seemed like his life was still worth living to him. When it was finally time, I laid on the floor of the vets office, holding him and crying. He was sitting in my lap when he died. 7 years later, I still wonder if I waited too long and prolonged his suffering. Remembering his pain still rips me apart inside. But it was absolutely, 100 times over worth the 11 amazing years I got to spend with that special, smart, loving, silly creature. <3
Load More Replies...This really hit home. We had to say goodbye to 2 of our 3 kitties within 3 weeks in August, and I still struggle with it. They were 14 and it was pretty sudden. I realize they weren't the same as human kids, but we don't have kids. They were family. I've been working from home for almost 4 years, and so spent a lot of time with them. One in particular was a huge comfort as I also dealt with helping an aging parent. I could come home and cuddle her and feel better. It's not just a day or two being sad and then moving on.
Thank you for sharing this. Every single day, when I'm apart from my dog, I think about him and something lights up inside of me, some deep burst of absolute love. I think about losing him and I feel pre-grief (is that a thing?). I came across an article about animals the other day and read that someone who kills a pet faces only 3 years in jail and a fine. Now I'm a huge advocate of criminal justice reform, but in this case the punishment seems to pale in comparison to the crime. Thanks for reading my random post!
I understand the pre grief remark perfectly, it's the bad anticipation of pain. As to people who are the lowest of scum to hurt a trusting animal, I hope there is a hell. My cat trusts and loves me completely, I have never even raised my voice to her, never mind hitting her.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of a moral dilemma/ethics question I heard long ago (I think a variation was used in the movie “A Man and a Woman”): “Imagine that you are in The Louvre Museum, contemplating the Mona Lisa. There is a cat, there, in the room. Suddenly, a fire starts. Which one would you save? The Mona Lisa, the famous Leonardo's portrait of a woman (called ‘Gioconda’), or the cat?” My answer is ALWAYS the cat. The cat is a little life, while the painting, however precious, is not. It would be tremendously cold and callous of me to leave a living creature to die horribly in favor of some paint and canvas. Though if I could save both, then that would be the best outcome. But if it’s one or the other, and can’t be both, then sorry Mona. The cat wins. My pets are part of my family. It’s Christmastime right now, and they also have large presents under the tree, and stockings—-with their names on them—-hanging by the fireplace with small presents and treats in them. All my animals have been treated the same. When they pass on, they’re treated with dignity, mourned deeply, and missed intensely. We even talk about them from time to time. “Remember how Scruffy used to….? “I was just thinking about the time Smudgy…”. Just like you remember things about family members who have passed.
I'd save the cat. I'm not even a cat person, but A) a living thing is far more important than a painting, and B) the Mona Lisa is vastly overrated. I know, I've seen it in person.
Load More Replies...So glad that the therapist is pointing this out - maybe if it comes from a pro, it sounds more credible than from non-pros? I'm still grieving for my beloved cat Filou, who died 9 years ago next January. Had him in my life for 14,5 years, and I loved him with all my heart and soul. He may not have been the brightest tool in the box, but he definitely loved me back. I couldn't even be with him when he died/was put to sleep - Mom thought it would have been too traumatic for me and didn''t tell me about his passing until the evening, when I was off work. But it made me feel like I failed to be there for him as I told him countless times I would be. My then-boss was basically like "it was just a cat, get over it" when I cried during my break the next day at work. God, how I hated her for being so cold-hearted...
My first cat lived for 17 years. I got her in my 20s. I had always wanted a cat growing up, but my parents didn't like them. So, I was so excited to have my first cat. We bonded instantly. She was with me through 3 pregnancies, job changes, my AI diagnosis, and 5 moves--one of those being international. When I had to say goodbye to her the pain was unlike anything I've experienced before. After she passed and they took her, I sat in the room wailing. I had no idea I could even make those sounds. And it didn't even seem like it was coming from me. It wasn't something I couldnt control. Had no idea it was possible to feel that heartbroken before that moment.
There is nothing truer than this. Pets are family. When I lost my 16 year old kitty in April, I felt grief worse than I had felt for any family member I’ve ever lost, and I’ve experienced many losses. Our pets are part of our daily routine. They love us unconditionally. They’re THERE. And when they’re not, when we have no one to wake up in the morning to feed, when they’re not there to greet us happily when we get home, the grief hits us in the face over and over again throughout the day. The grief is REAL, our feelings are VALID, and we need space to HEAL.
I recently lost my first pet that I got on my own as an adult and the grief was powerful. Similar to what I've gone through losing family members and I'm still grieving. I've seen so many people completely upended after losing their pet and then just having to go on with their day. I would say one of the better things about working in an animal clinic is that whenever one of us lost a pet our work took it seriously and wouldn't think twice about sending you home or giving you the day off because we all "got it".
I'm disabled and chronicly ill, and my cat is my main social contact. I've always known that having a companion pet was essential to my mental health, so I got Boo only a month after losing my beloved cat of 13 years, Spook. I didn't feel ready, and I'm still missing Spook, but Boo has been a life-line, and it helps to not be grieving her alone. Boo doesn't replace Spook, Spook was irreplaceable and my family. Boo just took over her job as my companion, and I've come to love him for his own self. Now he is my family too. If your pet is your primary attachment, please adopt another one, even if you don't feel ready. You need to grieve, and you need to heal; you don't need to do so alone.
The neighbor poisoned my 3 dogs with antifreeze in late October. The dogs were just 3 years old. Two died, and one is trying to recover. I know it was them. They complained to anyone who would listen about dogs running loose. I live in farmland with land parcels greater than 40 acres. A loss of this nature is so hard to process. Harder than natural death, I think. I am still reeling.
I'm so sorry to hear! If you can, try to set up cameras near their place so hopefully if they try again, you can catch them and have them charged.
Load More Replies...I still grieve my childhood "dog", Jess (from Jester") 14 year later. My Nan died the same year and both hurt as much as the other
I lost "my" dog when I was a teen, we had several, MANY years ago, I went almost 30 years without a pet I was so torn up, even after I moved out I didn't even consider it. Roomies and stuff didn't help. :) When I got my first place all by my lonesome, I chose to get cats... never looked back. In the 18-ish years since I got my first one I have lost several, and it hurts even worse that human family. My thought is that you see your pets every day, you live with them; more distant family, while no less loved, is more distant.
Load More Replies...For 10 years, the military has stationed me thousands of miles away from everyone I know and love; between being traumatized, being unable to put down roots for more than a couple years before being whisked off somewhere else to start over yet again, and generally being introverted, I've been extremely socially isolated for the lion's share of that time. My dogs are, in the depths of my deepest most crushing depression and loneliness, a very literal lifeline. They're also a source of unconditional love for someone who grew up in a family that made it absolutely clear that their love was conditional, and those conditions were ever-changing to ensure I never met them. I would rather lose everything I owned than see anything happen to them; I'm not exaggerating when I say they're like my furry children.
You never see a "No humans were harmed during the making of this film" at the end of a movie. Just Sayin'
My god, I so get this. 2023 was 40 years since the loss of my beloved childhood pet - a fine Golden Retriever named "Cinnamon". I picked him out when I was four; a present to me when Mum came home with my baby brother. You could not define a more insuperable companion than he - so much so, that I find myself tearing up as I write this. See ya at the Bridge one day, old boy.
I have grieved the loss of mt Daisy Serendipity in a way that eclipses the very real grief I have had for family members. I can remember the people and smile and laugh. I don't well up at the mention of their names. I love them dearly, but human relationships are fraught with fights, misunderstandings, hurt feelings. Real trauma. In many cases, even if relationships are repaired, you don't forget. The relationship with an animal is pure. Pure love. Sure, she slid down the front of a 1617 slant-top desk that was a family heirloom. Sure, she tipped over my Christmas tree and broke every ornament I cared about. There was no malice intended. And now I look at the claw marks sliding down the front of that desk, and I cry, missing her. She crawled into my lap and had a stroke in the middle of the night. I'd just moved to a new city, so had to find a 24 hour vet, and made the worst decision I've ever had too. I'm sobbing just typing this out. This is serious pain. Other pet people know.
Can confirm. When my previous cattle dog died, I checked into a motel with an unreasonable amount of vodka and cried for 3 days before I could even think of returning home.
Dr. Sarah Hoggan has a couple of great Ted talks. I recommend them on the Lap of Love support page (FB) periodically. I found them a few days after our dog's Chocolate Day. I don't know what search terms I used, but man, how great that I found her. My husband has yet to get through it. It's hard; I still pause to wipe my tears and blow my knows. Anyhow, anyone that's grieving, lost, stuck, etc. search for this veterinarian's talks.
Chocolate Day. OMG. That made me gasp out loud. Beautiful idea. I have cats, but I get what it means. <3 Thank you for the suggested Ted Talks.
Load More Replies...We have had several cats over the years, and I've cried more over each one's passing than I did over my father's (and I had a very good relationship with my father, so it wasn't a case of "good riddance").
They're not "Pets". They're Fam. You take them in,you love them,they love you. And of course, it breaks you when they go. That's what proves how much Love there was.
I used to manage a vet clinic. I always offered Dr. Notes to anyone that just had a pet loose. I would put the initials of the pet and informed the client to just say you had a death in the family.
I lost my dog 2 days ago. He had heart cancer apparently. 10 days before he died he was barking, running, shaking his tail. But two days later he would just stay in one place and refuse to eat his favorite snacks. Took him to the vet many times and first it was thought he only had pancreatitis. Which is something you can live with so we just focused on stopping the vomiting and loss of appetite. Then we found out it was heart cancer and he died 2 days later. I've cried so much and I still am. It took us by surprise, it all happened so fast and it isn't fair, he was supposed to live a few more years. I miss him so much, I love him so much. I'm unable to do my work and all I do is watch videos and read Bored Panda to distract myself from actually realizing how he's not here sitting next to me right now.
Oh yeah and exactly what breaks my soul the most is the suffering he had to go through. He died on his own before euthanasia was supposed to happen. I know I did everything I could but I am still so sad about the fact he had to endure so much, he did nothing to deserve all that pain, he was such a good boy
Load More Replies...This is also true for reptiles. Idc what ppl think about reptiles but they bring me more joy than any mamal could and I feel closer to my snakes than even my dogs. Losing my bearded dragon was one of the hardest things ever, watching him die in my hands. It's hard to think about him without crying even 3 years later.
I literally love my three dogs 1% less than my immediate family members. I love them more than anyone else or anything else in my life. They are furry toddlers than never learn to use words but love me unconditionally and I love them unconditionally.
The people who didn't get it often followed condolences with the question of "Are you getting another". At first I lost a little respect for those who asked. Now I just feel sorry that they don't get it while patiently explaining that's it's waaaay to soon to ask.
When my cat was crushed by a car and she died in my arms, I can with all certainty say that I cried for her a thousand times more than I cried when my dad died. I didnt have a close relationship with him, but I had rescued her from the street on a cold day, when she was undernourished, like a little skeleton covered in frayed fur, sitting on the pavement, trying to get some warmth from the winter sun. I took her home and she became the most beautiful and loving cat. I adored her eyes, so big and round and shiny. I couldnt go to work the day after her death, or sleep for about two weeks because I immediately saw her little body dying in my arms. I used to be a believer. I had been taught that god would give us eternal life in a paradise. And since I was a child I had been fascinated by the stars and the universe, and I believed that, having eternal life, one day I would be able to visit other places, other stars, other planets. But after she died, my hope died with her. Why would I want...
...to live forever with this pain? Is she in another planet, where I could go and find her? No. She's dead, buried in my backyard. So I don't want to live forever. I don't want to travel anywhere. I barely have the strength or desire to keep living this cr*ppy life.
Load More Replies...If it takes 20 tweets, maybe X isn't the right medium to post this. That said, the hardest thing I've ever had to do is to take pets to the vet for the last time. It's because they're so innocent, they don't know what's happening to them, or what's about to happen. I've cried just as much for them as I have for my parents.
My cat of 19 years died in 2019. Her name was Bunny Precious. She had kidney disease and didn't respond to the treatments. I'd had her since she was a little kitten that fit in the palm of my hand. She had been there for me through many of life's hard times including the death of my mother and a very heartbreaking end of a 7 year relationship. She was my reason to be strong and keep going. Since she passed I have been depressed and feel like I am just falling into each next day just because I am still here. I have thought about getting another pet but I don't think I could handle losing another one. God should have made the lifespan of loved pets to match our own, because I would have gladly gone with her when she left here.
I feel this so hard. I spend every minute possible with her sinds I have her. I am happy to say my fur baby is with me , but last week I almost lost her. I was heartbroken and still after a week I am recovering from all the stress, tears and panic attacks. This pain or pain of losing your pet is like harder then any pain you can handle. I give my respect to all who lost their beloved pet.
I still cannot get over the fact that I wasn't able to say goodbye to my cat that died 2 and a half years ago... it feels like I abandoned him. I brought him to the vet because from one day to the other he suddenly wouldn't eat anymore and just throw up, so they told me to leave him with them and they will do some checks. Next day they wanted to perform a surgery because they saw an obstruction on the X-ray, but they called me mid-surgery and told me it wasn't something he ate but that he was full of cancer and I should let him go which I did because I didn't want him to suffer. If it hadn't been in the middle of the pandemic I would have been able to say goodbye when leaving him there. It makes me tear up every time I think about him.
I miss my dog so much, he wasnt even old he was just a baby but he got cancer 😞 i wish id got to say goodbye to him
I'm still struggling to cope with the loss of my dog. He was the bestest boi 💔😢
I used to believe this even before ever having had my own, first ever animal companion. I always loved animals because they never judged me and they always seemed to also love me back in return and accept me, if judging by the fact that I never once had an animal attack me, at most avoiding me because I myself always knew better than to disturb an animal if they didn't want to respond to my frienship requests. But I always found it easier to understand animals' behaviour than human ones, because animals have a natural sincerity to them, you understand their behavior if you only have a little common sense. People on the other hand can just lie and make their behaviour way harder to understand. Also after having grown older, it just made sense for me, evolutionarily and psychologically speaking, that investing feelings and thoughts into something creates a deep relationship with that something, even if another species or even objects.
We've had so many dogs and cats that have needed to be put to sleep or just passed away one day. It never gets easier, because each one is so different in their own way. The pain never lessens either, you just begin stepping back more and more, life telling you to move away to get the bigger picture, and you see the hole is smaller in distance now. But it's just the same size. My friend over in the UK was dumbfounded by how many critters we have now, and have had, and asked why. It's basically just because they find us (especially with the kitties). We won't leave a soul to rot on the streets, so we take them in (up to a point). We have food for the rest, and idk how many dogs my friends and I have rescued while Pokémon Going. They were already family dogs too. We just can't let creatures who don't know any better into danger wittingly.
Anybody who tells an animal lover that animals have no souls has no soul themself.
Load More Replies...Just wanted to respond to the comment that the grief for the loss of a pet can equal that of a close family member. I love my family dearly, and when close family members have passed, I definitely grieved... but the intensity of grief paled in comparison to when my dog died. I have come to terms with the loss of family members, but even after many years, I still have a lot of lingering feelings about my pup. There's something about that connection that is very different than the connections we make with other humans.
I lost a cat of 10 years a week after a vet visit where he was given an updated vaccination and a clean bill of health. He'd had an aneurysm out of nowhere. I could not function for the remainder of the week. Felt like I'd failed him just for bringing him to the vet, which now I know is silly, but at the time I regretted it so much.
I love my cats more than any member of my family. Probably because they don’t abuse or gaslight me. It’s the only unconditional love I’ve ever known. I’m not sure if I’ll cry when my mom dies but I will fall apart when one of my babies goes to kitty heaven. I’ve lost a few cats (I’m in my 40s) and it’s the worst grief and pain. Just thinking about it makes me tear up.
I was so devastated when my dogs passed when I was growing up I decided not to have pets as an adult. Then I accidentally acquired my first cat, now I have 3 and I'm going to be absolutely devastated when they go. But I've decided it's worth the devastation, they are my favorite things in the world and I couldn't picture coming home or waking up to an empty house.
No pet owner is at all surprised by this. All it takes to make me cry is to think for half a minute of the times I've held my babies in my arms while they were put to sleep.
Years ago, I was the neighborhood cat lady. One day I found a kitten in a box on my stoop. I had a coworker who had been suffering from depression and we were all worried about her. (1980s) She would not go to therapy. We went over with the kitten, along with food, litter box, etc. Her life turned around as she now had someone else to care for. I said I would take the kitten back if she didn't want it, but she kept it.
My cat was diagnosed with a rare terminal illness during the first summer of Covid. The vet couldn't really give me a prognosis as she'd only seen 3 other cases each living 1 month, 3 months and 1 year. There was no pain or discomfort involved in the illness so I decided to try to fight it and prolong his life. 15 months later he got spleen cancer (unrelated to his other illness) and it was time to let him go, he was 16.5 years old.
My puppy is absolutely my baby! I don't have any kids, and I love him just like he was one. We're getting ready to take him to see some Christmas lights right now!
Thank-you for this post. It's been a little over a year since my very precious Teebeetoo died unexpectedly. The vet had assured me that while it might take a while, she would indeed get better. She didn't. And I have been absolutely devastated since. But as you say, people think you should get over it already. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her still.
I lost my 10 year old lab/border collie mix, Jake, a little over five months ago, and veterinary negligence contributed to his death. Thought I had at LEAST five years left with him - he had a ton of energy and personality. It was a major shock to have him start exhibiting small behavioral changes and then ten to fourteen days later pass. Went from an active boy that would bounce tennis balls to amuse himself to this dog that ended up completely exhausted from walking a few feet. Still hurts every single day. I can handle a pet passing from old age or an animal that has a terminal illness or needs to be euthanized because the quality of life is gone (although that's tougher.) But, losing a pet before their time is a special kind of hell. I feel so much guilt for trusting his vet and so much anger at the vet who thought she should blame us for not taking him elsewhere when her staff kept acting like we needed to give meds time to work. Joey's Legacy has been therapeutic for me...
I lost Frodo, my 13yo tabby, very suddenly and unexpectedly in October. He was with me through two relationships, grief of so many loved ones, and was my only reason for getting out of bed some days. He very suddenly threw a blood clot (no prior issues diagnosed, he had just been in for a checkup a few months before)... It was what they call a "saddle clot" and even IF we could get the clot to dissolve the collateral damage done & chance of recurrence was guaranteed to mean a very short, miserable *possible* extension of his life. We had to make that call at two in the morning. I have never, ever, ever cried that hard over any other loss. I still miss him. I still reach for him in the middle of the night when I'm half asleep and wake up and want to know he's here to feel safe and fall back asleep. I miss getting greeted at the door every day when I get home, or my kisses before I left for the day. I miss him... and I think about him every single day.
When I lost my childhood dog it was the same. She literally saved me, I had planned on ending my life one day and she just wouldn't leave my side. Forced her way into my arms and laid on me, refused to get up (she was easily 60lbs of big dog, I couldn't get her to move) and I just broke down. She laid with me until it passed, then let me up. She slept with me every night since (normally with my parents before then) until I moved out. I still miss her. She passed away years ago now. Some animals just get you on a level no one else ever could hope to.
Load More Replies...Many years ago, my job was to read and code medical records. An elderly woman was admitted to the psychiatric unit with a chief complaint of her dog had died. She was a widow and her husband had given her the dog. Now I am elderly, and my dogs died this year. Due to my age and health, it's best not to get another one. I am heartbroken.
This is not judgemental but it was because of feelings like these that I became vegan. My life is devoted to my motley collection of pets - and I had an epiphany how could I love one type and eat another :(
NGL this made me cry. I lost two 16+ year old sibling cats during 2022. The first to pneumonia (we think), her sister visibly deteriorated over the next 6 months from advanced kidney disease but also from missing her sister. I crashed so badly after the first I went onto antidepressants, unfortunately, my body couldn’t tolerate them. Seriously bad side effects including blackouts and slurred speech but I was so messed up mentally it took being forcibly told by my line manager to take short term disability to “sort myself out”. Because I was incapable of connecting the dots between the medication and my physical symptoms. Doc signed me out for a month to give the SSI antidepressants to get out of my system and insisted on therapy at least twice weekly to talk through my pain with someone who didn’t say “it’s just a cat”. Yeah… that. Just a cat. I had all the symptoms of high PTSD for just a cat. You know what I would never dream of saying? It’s just a child, you can have more or adopt. Because that would make me an effing sociopath!
I am glad to see a therapist speaking on this. I take in senior animals for sanctuary and when they die, as expected, I feel very little. Just glad I could be there for them since no one else was. Also, because those inconvenient animals were discarded, I forget how much others care. So I am often surprised by the depths of my own feelings when I lose a chosen pet like my saddle horse who I had for from a yearling until his accident at 19. Having expected 5-10 more years I was devastated and collapsed on the carcass. My husband had to untangle my fingers from his mane and help me up so our neighbor could move his carcass with the skid steer for burial.
I lost three pets I was very bonded to (two to lymphoma one to sudden onset heart failure) and in between the cats passing and losing my dog, a random cat stepped into my life that was somehow the exact same as the cat I had just lost. I had Soos to help me through Ripley's diagnosis and death, but when cancer took him from me last year I hoped I'd find "him" again immediately just like before. But I guess miracles are a "one and done" sort of thing.
This hit hard, my cat died due to an attack by our wild coyotes and we were all broken by losing him. It didn't help with my family getting a male dog just a month after, I don't know why but I was fine with my female dog, but not the male. I already have issues with males and this just didn't help. My female cat is still here and she's been obsessed with me because it hurt me the most, since he spent the most time with me
I'm really glad I grew up on a farm and I can look at animals from both sides: They can be your best friend, but at the same time they're "just" animals. To explain it better: you should treat every animal with dignity and respect and try to give him a good life. But often people tend to project a lot of their human emotions into a living being that can't discuss or argue with you. An animal is just fine as they can do their animal things and get their natural requirements fullfilled. I see a lot of misguided "animal lovers" that put their own agenda over the needs of a pet. And yeah, the same animal lovers won't recognize that their carnivore pet is a nightmare for other species (looking at you, cats. And I own a rescue cat myself). My post may seem harsh, but imho it can help to see another side. Edit: getting an animal to fulfill YOUR needs is just like having a child to fix your marriage. Pets are wonderful, but they shouldn't be kept in the first place to help you.
I understand what you're saying, and there's some validity to your opinions, but posting it here where most of the other commenters have dealt with, or are currently dealing with, an incredible amount of grief over losing a pet, seems rather callous and insensitive. Your comments, posted elsewhere, would likely be greeted differently. Here, they come across as "get over it, it's just a pet."
Load More Replies...God this is so true, especially about the bereavement. I get two paid days off for a cousin that I haven't seen in 20 years, but when my beloved pup Roamer passes, who I have spent every day with for the past 14 years, I get nothing. I can't even remember a time befroe I had Roamer, he has made my life so much better!
When I had to put my Oscar to sleep, I called in to work that I wouldn't be in and explained why. The manager I talked to was very understanding. However, when I did return to work and was talking about it, another co worker just said," just get another one." Which I thought was very thoughtless to say. Like my dear Oscar was so easy to replace!
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