Mom Tells Pregnant 19 Y.O. To Move Out And Live Like An Adult Or Terminate The Pregnancy And Stay
We want to raise children who ultimately become able to make their own choices. However, in a recent post on the subreddit r/AITAH, one woman revealed that she feels like her 19-year-old is throwing her life away and there’s nothing she can do about it.
The woman said her teenager got involved with a guy she doesn’t approve of, and if that wasn’t enough, she also got pregnant. Adamant about keeping the baby, the daughter is ready to give up her studies and completely devote herself to her partner and their child.
This mother just learned that her teenage daughter got pregnant
Image credits: Ben White (not the actual photo)
So she tried to convince her to have an abortion
Image credits: Commercial_Ebb9099
So far, it’s unclear how the situation will play out
Image credits: Amr Taha™ (not the actual photo)
When a child is born, their birth certificate names their parents — this marks the beginning of their parental responsibility.
Parents have to provide for their children, including food, clothing, shelter, and other basic needs as well as education and medical care. They must ensure their child’s physical safety and emotional well-being.
Failing to do so can lead to neglect or abuse charges in most cases.
However, many moms and dads continue to look after their kids in one way or another well after their 18th birthday, and giving them a roof over their heads is one of the most common contributions.
In fact, according to a Harris Poll survey, these days, about 23 million, or 45%, of all Americans ages 18 to 29 are living with family, roughly the same level as in the 1940s, a time when women were more likely to remain at home until marriage and men too were lingering on family farms in the aftermath of the Great Depression.
41% say they do so to save money and 30% claim they can’t even afford to live on their own.
While in many states the “age of majority” for children is 18, this can be extended. In New York, for example, people can continue to receive child support until they are 21 years old.
So the mom may be able to evict the teen, but she could still be on the hook for her financially if the girl can prove she is unable to support herself.
People have had questions for the mother
But most of them believe she’s not being unreasonable
Some shared their own similar stories
OP isn't an AH for the stance on the pregnancy, but is very much an AH for the comments on bartenders. Contribute nothing useful to society? They make people happy. Is that not useful? Either way, it's work and I automatically dislike people who disparage careers as "not good enough." OP showed herself to be insufferable with that little comment, and I bet that came out in how she raised her kid too.
She sounds like some kind of business woman. Especially when she mentioned that she has a career. And then looks down on every service jobs she considers as less important
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This all seems reasonable to me. Not sure I'd make the same decision, but 19 is an adult, and raising the baby is a choice. It's not as if she's developed and illness or became disabled. She s choosing a path that would completely upend her mother's life. It's reasonable to say you need a plan. If you're mature enough to raise a child, you're mature enough to sort out the basics. If you are unable to figure this out as a parental team, you aren't ready to raise a child together.
My father thought the same. He told me to get an abortion, or give the baby up. He thought I was throwing my life away. I refused, and gave birth to my lovely daughter. He has spent the whole of my daughter's life, almost 30 years, trying to make up for what he said after I told him I was expecting. He loves her dearly, and despite what he said then, he is proud of me for standing my ground. Mom in the story can say what she wants, and it is her house - she doesn't have to share, but she shouldn't be surprised that her daughter won't talk to her right now. And while you may think the "poor silly girl" is ruining her life, you are judging someone without knowing them. It might be bad, but then again, it might be the best thing that ever happens to this young lady.
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OP isn't an AH for the stance on the pregnancy, but is very much an AH for the comments on bartenders. Contribute nothing useful to society? They make people happy. Is that not useful? Either way, it's work and I automatically dislike people who disparage careers as "not good enough." OP showed herself to be insufferable with that little comment, and I bet that came out in how she raised her kid too.
She sounds like some kind of business woman. Especially when she mentioned that she has a career. And then looks down on every service jobs she considers as less important
Load More Replies... This all seems reasonable to me. Not sure I'd make the same decision, but 19 is an adult, and raising the baby is a choice. It's not as if she's developed and illness or became disabled. She s choosing a path that would completely upend her mother's life. It's reasonable to say you need a plan. If you're mature enough to raise a child, you're mature enough to sort out the basics. If you are unable to figure this out as a parental team, you aren't ready to raise a child together.
My father thought the same. He told me to get an abortion, or give the baby up. He thought I was throwing my life away. I refused, and gave birth to my lovely daughter. He has spent the whole of my daughter's life, almost 30 years, trying to make up for what he said after I told him I was expecting. He loves her dearly, and despite what he said then, he is proud of me for standing my ground. Mom in the story can say what she wants, and it is her house - she doesn't have to share, but she shouldn't be surprised that her daughter won't talk to her right now. And while you may think the "poor silly girl" is ruining her life, you are judging someone without knowing them. It might be bad, but then again, it might be the best thing that ever happens to this young lady.
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