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Teen Still Hurt 6 Years After Mom Abandoned Him Because Of A Tantrum, Lashes Out At Her Engagement Party
Family is pretty complicated. We love them deeply, yet we also hurt them—and they hurt us. In this cycle of conflict and connection, we can end up in messy situations that leave lasting wounds.
One teen took to Reddit to share his tumultuous relationship with his mom. According to him, she was a helicopter parent throughout his childhood. Then, after yet another fight, she sent him off to live with his dad and largely stepped back from his life. So when her engagement party rolled around, he reached his breaking point—and ended up ruining the celebration for her.
The community’s reaction was divided. Read the full story below.
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The teen had been harboring resentment towards his mom for years
Image credits: NomadSoul1 (not the actual photo)
At her engagement party, something inside him snapped—and he ended up ruining her big day
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)
Image source: UnlikelyAd5151
This situation is messy, and there’s no easy answer
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
The story reveals deep hurt on both sides. On one hand, the teen’s outburst at the engagement party was harsh—he called his mother a horrible parent and left her in tears. On the other hand, while his anger was real, so was the pain he caused.
There are two ways to look at this situation. You could argue that no matter what, the teen overstepped and ruined what should have been a happy occasion for his mother. At the same time, you could argue that no matter what, it was the mom’s responsibility as the adult and parent to work through the conflict despite the hurtful things her son said years ago.
What makes this particularly difficult is the years of distance between them. The teen felt abandoned and replaced, watching his mother build a new family while he struggled. She may have felt overwhelmed by her son’s rejection, leading her to pull away when staying involved might have been harder but more necessary.
The thing is, it doesn’t really change what already happened. It shows just how complicated family can be sometimes. From here, there clearly needs to be a lot of work done if the two want to repair any of the relationship.
What research tells us about parental abandonment
Image creidts: David Garrison (not the actual photo)
Did the teen actually get abandoned by his mother? That’s hard to conclude definitively. But when it comes to parental abandonment and rejection, research shows the psychological impact can be significant.
One study published in Healthcare looked at whether feeling rejected by a parent is linked to guilt and shame in teenagers. The researchers found that teens who reported higher levels of parental rejection also reported stronger guilt, meaning they were more likely to blame themselves and feel like they’d done something wrong.
Shame showed a different pattern. In this study, parental rejection on its own didn’t clearly predict higher shame. Instead, shame was more closely tied to the broader conditions kids grew up in: teens raised in institutional care, and those who reported more difficult childhood experiences overall, tended to score higher on shame.
But the effects of abandonment don’t just stay in childhood. They can follow people well into adulthood.
According to the CPTSD Foundation, people who experience parental abandonment often struggle with trusting others. They may fear getting too close in relationships or push people away to protect themselves. Some become people-pleasers or feel deeply insecure in intimate relationships, constantly needing reassurance.
Mental health professionals note that therapists and counselors can help people recognize these patterns and work through the underlying pain. For situations like this one, professional support might be essential for both parties to heal.
Stories like these remind us that family wounds run deep, and making peace with them takes more than a single conversation or apology. It takes time and effort to rebuild what’s been broken.
What do you think? Share your perspective in the comments below.
Reactions were mixed. Some readers felt it was the mom’s responsibility to fix the situation as the adult
Many others, however, thought the teen behaved poorly and was out of line
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What do you think ?
Happy_Pandalover 3 weeks ago (edited)
Unfortunately this teen is YTA. This title is clickbait, the mom never abandoned him. So he said, he hated his mom, said he wanted to live with his dad. Then he got what he wanted, the mom still had him over the weekends, and he didn‘t like it either. Now he‘s 17 and blames his mom for having a new life and a new family. He needs to reflect a lot.
June 3 weeks ago
Nah, this whole post is a ridiculous rage bait. I tend to be naive but come on ! 🤦♀️
Load More Replies...
Eastendbird 3 weeks ago
Amazing how nothing in any of the scenarios is the OPS fault. He blames it on his mum, his dad, the dad's new partner, the mum's new partner, even the mum's new partner's young children. But he's responsible for nothing. Not the bad grades or behaviour so awful he was nearly kicked out of school, or saying horrible, hurtful things, or throwing tantrums etc. etc. I'd suggest therapy, but then it would probably be the therapist's fault. He's the arsehole. But then he's 17. At some point he'll be an adult and he's going to have to take charge of his own life. I don't hold out much hope based on this little outburst.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 weeks ago (edited)
Child of divorced parents here. Wow, kid is a RAGING little asshóle! Thank God your mum got away from you and has people who actually appreciate her. Be careful what you wish for, kid, and take some d**n accountability.
The Starsong Princess 3 weeks ago
I think he’s a kid in a lot of pain with parents who don’t care enough to get him help with that pain.
Load More Replies...
Elizabeth Parsons 3 weeks ago
I'm a mom to an 18 year old and I understand that emotions are fragile when you're an adolescent. Unless you are still a child ora parent, you shouldn't be commenting on this with your opinion. Parenting is very complex. My kid went through the angsty pre teen phase where she said she hated me and wanted to live with her dad. Id respond " well I love you too". Every time. As a parent you are required to be stronger emotionally than your children. They need you to be. She's 18 now and our bond is unbreakable. You just have to understand kids don't mean most of the men things they say. They are still trying to figure out how to regulate their emotions. That being said i don't think mom is the AH either. She thought she was making the right choice. She didn't abandon him and tried to be more fun and thought OP would like her better if she was the weekend parent. She made some wrong choices for the relationship with her son, but she thought they were the right one at the time.
Man in the mirror 3 weeks ago
You being downvoted for this turns downvotes into a badge of honour. This comment section is insane. An 11 years old yelling something in anger does not qualify for the category of "actions that should have life altering consequences". Makes you wonder what kind of people lie behind those usernames. Hopefully not parents.
Load More Replies...
Flat_Alien 3 weeks ago
This guy is insufferable. He experience consequences of his actions and blame the whole world for that. He should be on therapy working on his issues.
Tams21 3 weeks ago
On the face of it, it sounds like the op said some very hurtful words to her mother and is simply having to deal with the consequences. At the same time, she obviously went through her parents breaking up and that may well have left her with a trauma and might have been at breaking point - and so might her mother. I wonder if a therapist might help.
Nota Robot 3 weeks ago
I guess I am more of the "actions have consequences" school of thinking. Therapy has its place and is a valuable tool, but as the poster upthread said, in this case it would probably become the therapist's fault next.
Load More Replies...
person (i think) 3 weeks ago (edited)
OP did a couple of updates. He was way worse to his mom, over an extended period of time, than he let on. Second update was an emotional breakthrough, and making steps towards reconciliation
GalPalAl 3 weeks ago
I wish people hadn't jumped all over him for all of this. I maybe far on the other side of 17 but I still have empathy for a young adult who has irresponsible parents. I would suggest finding safe haven and try the internet for groups who offer therapy or assistance for soon to be adult children. No reason to tell say yta to someone who feels abandoned by the people who are supposed to take care of him and latch on to their new families. Do you treat your children like that by telling them they are an ahole? Lets stop making this kind of neglect normal or expected. He needs help, not more people piling on to his situation. Shame on you
Papa 3 weeks ago (edited)
Please explain how his mother was irresponsible and how he was neglected. She tried to be a good parent and he said he hated her and wanted to live with his father. She gave him what he asked for. When he stayed with her on weekends and she tried to make it fun for him he hated that. What was she supposed to do?
Load More Replies...
Spittnimage 3 weeks ago
Well, she was pretending to be the perfect mother, I don't see a problem with her son telling the truth about her.
Bonnie Blue Bird 3 weeks ago
As a child of two toxic parents. I believe both the mother and the son need therapy if they are ever going to have a healthy relationship. Both the mother and the child seem to have gone through a lot and neither seems able to understand the others situation or how to create a bridge back to each other. I see the son as still having a lot of pain and regrets in regard to losing his mother. Mum seems unable or unwilling to see that her actions are hurting her son. I hope they both are able to heal.
Andy Frobig 3 weeks ago
At some point, it doesn't matter what you do as a parent; your kid will or won't appreciate it. I personally don't approve of making a new human from scratch and then abdicating responsibility for it. "So are you saying people shouldn't have children?" Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying
Kate Johnson 3 weeks ago
I think it's best if he focuses on getting himself together instead of getting involved in this drama. At some point he won't be able to blame his parents for his failure and they both might be done with him. He'd better start focussing on how he's going to support himself when he turns 18. Doesn't sound like dad wants him either.
The Starsong Princess 3 weeks ago
Esh. Your mother s***s for dumping you and not getting you the help you need. I think you should tell your mother that you will apologize but only in family therapy and you want individual therapy too.
Michelle C 3 weeks ago
This kid needs therapy. Unfortunately when you fight with someone for so long they get tired of fighting, even if it is your mom. He didn't want her then, still sounds like he doesn't want her now unless it's for an emotional punching bag. Kid needs to grow up or move on and honestly his mom needs to consider the protection of her new family. Too many times have stories that sounded like this have turned into "breaking news"
Happy_Pandalover 3 weeks ago (edited)
Unfortunately this teen is YTA. This title is clickbait, the mom never abandoned him. So he said, he hated his mom, said he wanted to live with his dad. Then he got what he wanted, the mom still had him over the weekends, and he didn‘t like it either. Now he‘s 17 and blames his mom for having a new life and a new family. He needs to reflect a lot.
June 3 weeks ago
Nah, this whole post is a ridiculous rage bait. I tend to be naive but come on ! 🤦♀️
Load More Replies... Eastendbird 3 weeks ago
Amazing how nothing in any of the scenarios is the OPS fault. He blames it on his mum, his dad, the dad's new partner, the mum's new partner, even the mum's new partner's young children. But he's responsible for nothing. Not the bad grades or behaviour so awful he was nearly kicked out of school, or saying horrible, hurtful things, or throwing tantrums etc. etc. I'd suggest therapy, but then it would probably be the therapist's fault. He's the arsehole. But then he's 17. At some point he'll be an adult and he's going to have to take charge of his own life. I don't hold out much hope based on this little outburst.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 weeks ago (edited)
Child of divorced parents here. Wow, kid is a RAGING little asshóle! Thank God your mum got away from you and has people who actually appreciate her. Be careful what you wish for, kid, and take some d**n accountability.
The Starsong Princess 3 weeks ago
I think he’s a kid in a lot of pain with parents who don’t care enough to get him help with that pain.
Load More Replies... Elizabeth Parsons 3 weeks ago
I'm a mom to an 18 year old and I understand that emotions are fragile when you're an adolescent. Unless you are still a child ora parent, you shouldn't be commenting on this with your opinion. Parenting is very complex. My kid went through the angsty pre teen phase where she said she hated me and wanted to live with her dad. Id respond " well I love you too". Every time. As a parent you are required to be stronger emotionally than your children. They need you to be. She's 18 now and our bond is unbreakable. You just have to understand kids don't mean most of the men things they say. They are still trying to figure out how to regulate their emotions. That being said i don't think mom is the AH either. She thought she was making the right choice. She didn't abandon him and tried to be more fun and thought OP would like her better if she was the weekend parent. She made some wrong choices for the relationship with her son, but she thought they were the right one at the time.
Man in the mirror 3 weeks ago
You being downvoted for this turns downvotes into a badge of honour. This comment section is insane. An 11 years old yelling something in anger does not qualify for the category of "actions that should have life altering consequences". Makes you wonder what kind of people lie behind those usernames. Hopefully not parents.
Load More Replies... Flat_Alien 3 weeks ago
This guy is insufferable. He experience consequences of his actions and blame the whole world for that. He should be on therapy working on his issues.
Tams21 3 weeks ago
On the face of it, it sounds like the op said some very hurtful words to her mother and is simply having to deal with the consequences. At the same time, she obviously went through her parents breaking up and that may well have left her with a trauma and might have been at breaking point - and so might her mother. I wonder if a therapist might help.
Nota Robot 3 weeks ago
I guess I am more of the "actions have consequences" school of thinking. Therapy has its place and is a valuable tool, but as the poster upthread said, in this case it would probably become the therapist's fault next.
Load More Replies... person (i think) 3 weeks ago (edited)
OP did a couple of updates. He was way worse to his mom, over an extended period of time, than he let on. Second update was an emotional breakthrough, and making steps towards reconciliation
GalPalAl 3 weeks ago
I wish people hadn't jumped all over him for all of this. I maybe far on the other side of 17 but I still have empathy for a young adult who has irresponsible parents. I would suggest finding safe haven and try the internet for groups who offer therapy or assistance for soon to be adult children. No reason to tell say yta to someone who feels abandoned by the people who are supposed to take care of him and latch on to their new families. Do you treat your children like that by telling them they are an ahole? Lets stop making this kind of neglect normal or expected. He needs help, not more people piling on to his situation. Shame on you
Papa 3 weeks ago (edited)
Please explain how his mother was irresponsible and how he was neglected. She tried to be a good parent and he said he hated her and wanted to live with his father. She gave him what he asked for. When he stayed with her on weekends and she tried to make it fun for him he hated that. What was she supposed to do?
Load More Replies... Spittnimage 3 weeks ago
Well, she was pretending to be the perfect mother, I don't see a problem with her son telling the truth about her.
Bonnie Blue Bird 3 weeks ago
As a child of two toxic parents. I believe both the mother and the son need therapy if they are ever going to have a healthy relationship. Both the mother and the child seem to have gone through a lot and neither seems able to understand the others situation or how to create a bridge back to each other. I see the son as still having a lot of pain and regrets in regard to losing his mother. Mum seems unable or unwilling to see that her actions are hurting her son. I hope they both are able to heal.
Andy Frobig 3 weeks ago
At some point, it doesn't matter what you do as a parent; your kid will or won't appreciate it. I personally don't approve of making a new human from scratch and then abdicating responsibility for it. "So are you saying people shouldn't have children?" Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying
Kate Johnson 3 weeks ago
I think it's best if he focuses on getting himself together instead of getting involved in this drama. At some point he won't be able to blame his parents for his failure and they both might be done with him. He'd better start focussing on how he's going to support himself when he turns 18. Doesn't sound like dad wants him either.
The Starsong Princess 3 weeks ago
Esh. Your mother s***s for dumping you and not getting you the help you need. I think you should tell your mother that you will apologize but only in family therapy and you want individual therapy too.
Michelle C 3 weeks ago
This kid needs therapy. Unfortunately when you fight with someone for so long they get tired of fighting, even if it is your mom. He didn't want her then, still sounds like he doesn't want her now unless it's for an emotional punching bag. Kid needs to grow up or move on and honestly his mom needs to consider the protection of her new family. Too many times have stories that sounded like this have turned into "breaking news"
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