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Aunt Called Cruel By Family After Banning Her iPad-Stealing Niece From Entering Her Home
Worried woman at home looking at her smartphone, reflecting on family conflict involving niece and iPad stealing issues.

Aunt Called Cruel By Family After Banning Her iPad-Stealing Niece From Entering Her Home

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When it comes to family, you’re expected to let some things slide more than you would with friends or colleagues. Still, there’s got to be some kind of limit, or you’ll find yourself being taken advantage of. That only breeds resentment, and no family needs that.

One woman’s destructive niece trashed her house and broke two iPads in a row, forcing her to tell the parents that the child wouldn’t be welcome at future visits. The kid’s mother didn’t take it well, leaving the woman to question if the ban makes her a jerk. 

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Some parents will let their kids get away with anything, as this woman found out the hard way

    Aunt called cruel by family enjoying coffee with a friend after banning her iPad-stealing niece from her home

    Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Her 12-year-old niece has been acting out, breaking things and just being generally mean

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    Text excerpt about a financially comfortable couple in the dental field with plans to sell their practices.

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    Text image showing a statement about a 12-year-old niece acting out, related to an aunt banning her iPad-stealing niece.

    Teen girl sitting on floor using phone indoors, illustrating niece banned by aunt for stealing iPad from family home.

    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    When her niece broke the second iPad in a row, it was the last straw for her

    Text excerpt describing a family conflict involving an aunt banning her iPad-stealing niece from entering her home.

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    List showing reasons niece was banned from aunt’s home after stealing iPad, including breaking a vase and trashing a cabin.

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    Text on a plain background reading, Afterward, I talked to her and her parents and we moved on, related to aunt called cruel and iPad-stealing niece.

    Text excerpt discussing niece asking to take an iPad home during aunt’s birthday, related to iPad-stealing niece ban.

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    Text excerpt discussing an aunt banning her iPad-stealing niece, causing family conflict over the decision.

    Broken iPad screen close-up with white stylus, illustrating iPad-stealing niece conflict and family tensions.

    Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    She let the kid’s parents know that she wouldn’t be welcome at future visits to her home

    Text showing a woman stating she banned her iPad-stealing niece from her home, causing family conflict.

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    Text excerpt describing a family conflict with an aunt called cruel after banning her iPad-stealing niece from her home.

    Text excerpt showing a family conflict involving an aunt banning her iPad-stealing niece from entering her home.

    Alt text: Aunt called cruel by family after banning iPad-stealing niece from entering her home, seeking advice on respect issues.

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    The kid’s mom didn’t take it well and her brother’s giving her the silent treatment, leaving the woman wondering if the ban makes her a jerk

    OP generously hosted her niece and nephews for a cousin sleepover over Christmas. What was meant to be a fun holiday, though, turned sour when her 12-year-old niece smashed an iPad, broke a vase, refused to go skiing, and trashed the cabin out of frustration. Still, OP tried to smooth things over and move forward with kindness.

    For her birthday celebration, she hosted a simple catered gathering with games. Her niece asked to take home a new iPad, but OP politely declined the demand. However, the next day, her brother called to say the niece had taken it anyway… and promptly destroyed it. That was the final straw.

    Fed up, OP told her broke brother that while his other kids were still welcome at future visits, her niece was not. That’s when all hell broke loose. Her sister-in-law exploded, cursing her and declaring that none of the kids would be allowed over again. A barrage of nasty texts followed, and then her brother ghosted her.

    In the past, OP’s paid for groceries, toys, school supplies, and even taken the kids out monthly just to help her older brother’s struggling family. Now she just feels used and disrespected. She’s since turned to an online community to ask if drawing a line, when her generosity only gets met with entitlement and destruction, makes her a jerk.

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    From what OP tells us in her post, her niece’s parents refuse to take any responsibility for her toxic behavior. It’s not up to OP to do the parenting, and she’s also well within her rights to decide who she allows into her own home. So, does setting this boundary make her a jerk? We went looking for answers.

    Woman looking stressed while holding a tablet, reflecting on family conflict after banning iPad-stealing niece from home.

    Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    According to the Papyrus website, boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling life. They help us establish and maintain healthy relationships, prevent burnout and resentment, and protect our mental health and wellbeing. 

    When boundaries are lacking, we may feel overwhelmed and taken advantage of. By setting boundaries, we can prioritize our needs, protect our time and energy, and create a healthy balance in life. Bearing this in mind, we’d say OP is on the right track and definitely not the jerk in the whole mess. 

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    In her interview for WebMD, licensed clinical social worker, Sharon Martin, says, “Toxic behaviors exist on a continuum. Truly toxic behaviors are part of a pattern of maltreatment or lack of regard for others. They aren’t isolated incidents.” Sounds a lot like OP’s nasty niece.

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    OP might not like it, but the best way forward might be letting her troublesome niece’s parents cool off before trying to make peace. She clearly loves her family, but even families need a break from each other from time to time, wouldn’t you agree?

    What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Should she press the issue, or back off until her sister-in-law calms down and her brother is ready to talk to her again? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

    In the comments, readers concluded the original poster was not being a jerk and one even suggested she send her sister-in-law an invoice for the damage

    Reddit conversation about aunt banning iPad-stealing niece from her home and family calling her cruel.

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    Reddit user asks if niece’s parents paid for broken iPads, original poster responds no but hasn't requested payment.

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    Screenshot of an online conversation discussing using Find My to locate a stolen iPad in a family dispute.

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    What do you think ?
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 12-year-old likely needs a diagnosis. At most, the OP can chip in for professional help, but it's not her job to babysit a 12-year-old with anger issues. A broken vase can be written off as an accident, but trashing a cabin points to a big problem.

    rullyman
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah it's not normal for a child of this age to break technology. Tablets are not super fragile. Something is going on

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like she located 2/3 more parts of the problems right there. The toxic mom and the weak dad. Hmm, he could potentially even abused himself so I shouldn't assume it is just weakness. How many times has that pattern emerged when it is a sole partner being the sole provider...

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dad is OP's brother, so I imagine they would have mentioned a terrible/abus!ve childhood as background if it had happened.

    Load More Replies...
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    Petra Peitsch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Entitled brats must be cut off. No matter, brother, SIL or niece.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Niece is definitely having issues and could use some therapy, but considering the way her mother reacted to her breaking two iPads and her other outbursts, as in no discipline or consequences whatsoever, I don’t see her parents stepping up anytime to actually try to solve the problem, because as far as they’re concerned, there isn’t one. As long as it isn’t affecting them financially, they don’t seem to care. Maybe if OP stops her financial help and the parents realize just how much she’s been contributing to them over the past few years, and once the niece starts destroying their own things that they’ll have to pay for with their own funds, they’ll put two and two together. But even then, the sister-in-law will most likely just blame the OP for no longer “not acting like family” because she’s no longer financially supporting them.

    Bogdan C
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's funny to me how OP is using a fake account so her brother but at the same time gives so much details he'll know it's her, if he comes upon the thread! I mean, how many 47 y/o men have 4 other siblings + a daughter that's 12 and smashed 2 iPads from her aunt's that worked in the dental field (along with the husband) and 1 year ago sold the dental practice?

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it ok to ban a thief from your house? Is that an actual question?

    Lynne Hammar
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two strikes, she's out. If your bro & sil don't contact you to apologize, cut ties. They're raising a kid with no consequences. It's no way to parent! (FWIW, my nephew stole one of my kids toys, and after his Mom, my aunt, returned it, she took him right to ToysRUs & bought it for him. Now he (40) has no time for her!!)

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Twelve is old enough to understand the correlation between her behavior and the aunt's action.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The moment the SIL went off on one was when she should have said "ok, you're all banned then and no more groceries either since you have zero respect for us"

    Southie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    don't have the entire family over and quit helping them out until SIL has an attitude adjustment. Obviously someting more is going on with the kid and the parents need to address those issues before visits resume.

    Load More Comments
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 12-year-old likely needs a diagnosis. At most, the OP can chip in for professional help, but it's not her job to babysit a 12-year-old with anger issues. A broken vase can be written off as an accident, but trashing a cabin points to a big problem.

    rullyman
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah it's not normal for a child of this age to break technology. Tablets are not super fragile. Something is going on

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like she located 2/3 more parts of the problems right there. The toxic mom and the weak dad. Hmm, he could potentially even abused himself so I shouldn't assume it is just weakness. How many times has that pattern emerged when it is a sole partner being the sole provider...

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dad is OP's brother, so I imagine they would have mentioned a terrible/abus!ve childhood as background if it had happened.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Petra Peitsch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Entitled brats must be cut off. No matter, brother, SIL or niece.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Niece is definitely having issues and could use some therapy, but considering the way her mother reacted to her breaking two iPads and her other outbursts, as in no discipline or consequences whatsoever, I don’t see her parents stepping up anytime to actually try to solve the problem, because as far as they’re concerned, there isn’t one. As long as it isn’t affecting them financially, they don’t seem to care. Maybe if OP stops her financial help and the parents realize just how much she’s been contributing to them over the past few years, and once the niece starts destroying their own things that they’ll have to pay for with their own funds, they’ll put two and two together. But even then, the sister-in-law will most likely just blame the OP for no longer “not acting like family” because she’s no longer financially supporting them.

    Bogdan C
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's funny to me how OP is using a fake account so her brother but at the same time gives so much details he'll know it's her, if he comes upon the thread! I mean, how many 47 y/o men have 4 other siblings + a daughter that's 12 and smashed 2 iPads from her aunt's that worked in the dental field (along with the husband) and 1 year ago sold the dental practice?

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it ok to ban a thief from your house? Is that an actual question?

    Lynne Hammar
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Two strikes, she's out. If your bro & sil don't contact you to apologize, cut ties. They're raising a kid with no consequences. It's no way to parent! (FWIW, my nephew stole one of my kids toys, and after his Mom, my aunt, returned it, she took him right to ToysRUs & bought it for him. Now he (40) has no time for her!!)

    Roberta Surprenant
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Twelve is old enough to understand the correlation between her behavior and the aunt's action.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The moment the SIL went off on one was when she should have said "ok, you're all banned then and no more groceries either since you have zero respect for us"

    Southie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    don't have the entire family over and quit helping them out until SIL has an attitude adjustment. Obviously someting more is going on with the kid and the parents need to address those issues before visits resume.

    Load More Comments
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