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Teen Accused Of Breaking Grandma’s Heart Because She Wishes They Didn’t Share A Birthday
How did you celebrate your 17th birthday? If you were lucky enough to have a party, it’s quite likely you invited some friends who were a similar age to you.
One teen can only dream of such fun. She says she’s forced to have a combined party with her grandmother every single year. But it doesn’t end there. The 17-year-old has no say in the planning. And she’s not allowed to invite any friends. Drama erupted recently when she voiced her unhappiness.
RELATED:
It’s natural for a teen to want to celebrate their birthday with some friends
Image credits: A. C. (not the actual photo)
But this 17YO isn’t allowed to… Instead, her grandma gets to plan their combined party every year
Image credits: kitzstocker (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Throwawayyyyyxghb
“Probably get grounded for life”: the teen gave a lot more info later on
Teens aren’t partying like it’s 1999 anymore…
If you grew up in the ’90s, there’s a good chance that you went to your fair share of parties as a teenager. But it seems that nowadays, things have changed. Research shows that there’s been a decline in ‘unsupervised unstructured face-to-face time’ (i.e., teens attending parties or hanging out).
“Nearly 80% of US 10th graders (15–16 years) reported going to parties at least once a month during the 1990s, but by 2017 this had fallen to about 57%,” notes growingagrownup.com.
The founder of the site is Dr. Dominique Thompson, an award-winning former university general practitioner, young people’s mental health expert, TEDx speaker, author and educator. She says while we might immediately assume this is because teens are opting for online activity over in-person contact, that’s not the case.
The expert explains that today’s teenagers are a ‘risk-averse generation,’ and a lot more careful than many of us were. And there are a few reasons for this…
One is that parenting approaches have changed in 30 years. “Current parents of teens probably keep a closer eye on their kids, talk more about risk in an approachable way, and spend more time with them as a family, with fathers in particular being more involved these days than decades ago,” writes Thompson. “Teens also report closer emotional bonds to their parents than they used to, which may mean that they are more reluctant to let them down with poor behavior.”
In Thompson’s book How to Grow a Grown Up, she points out that there’s been a trend of delayed independence in today’s young adults. They’re learning to drive later, leaving home later, and having kids later. And this could all play a role in them partying less.
Thompson also believes that today’s teens could be too stressed to have fun or take risks.
“The increase in pressure on young people today to succeed at school, to compete for jobs in a difficult financial environment, to earn a living wage, or to afford to buy a home may have led them to make more careful choices when younger, to ensure survival later,” explains the expert.
She adds that one U.S. study showed that teens between 15 and 17 years old in 2019 spent twice as much time on homework as their counterparts in the mid-nineties. “Multiple studies show that young people see ‘partying’ (and therefore drinking, etc.) as incompatible with their academic, sporting, or other ambitions,” Thompson says. “They also can’t afford it.”
Then there’s the health issue. “We have a brilliantly switched-on, educated younger generation, who are very aware of public health messages, so it is possible that they just don’t want to smoke, drink… when young,” notes the expert.
She says that the culture these days is to look good and be healthy. Therefore, many teens wouldn’t knowingly undermine their health and well-being.
Thompson says that while it’s not a bad thing teens are taking fewer risks, it’s not all good either.
“The teenage years are meant to be when we take risks and explore the world around us,” she explains. “It is how teens discover the boundaries of their world, and grow to become independent, whilst finding their tribe and developing their self-identity.”
Image credits: Maurício Mascaro (not the actual photo)
Many people felt sorry for the teen and tried to provide some advice
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What do you think ?
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
You'd think that the adults would know better than to deprive a child from her birthday, but oh well...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep! XD I didn't share a birthdate with anyone in my family, but my birthday "parties" were ALL about my mom when I was a kid (always HER favorite cake and ice cream flavors, even though I actually really dislike her fav cake type; she's known that since I was like 7 and just doesn't care.) The activities and stuff she planned were either things that made her look like the World's Awesomest Mom (when I was young) and then when I got older, she would "plan" activities that SHE wanted to do on my birthday (go to musicals SHE wanted to see, go to HER favorite restaurant, etc.) She and my older sister are now completely "baffled" as to why I don't want to celebrate my birthday at all any more. XD At its basic level, it's narcissism - in OP's case, Grandma is the narcissist and OP's parents are just allowing her to be a complete a-hole because they don't want to rock the boat. OP and Grandmother Dearest could have birthday celebrations/parties on two different days.
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Mark Alexander 1 month ago
I'd consider sitting on the couch in a catatonic state and ignore everyone. It'd drive them crazy because they all know what they've done. They all know how you feel. And they all *should* know exactly how much you care to be there. It's the most respectful and annoying way to tell them all to frack off.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Absolutely. Refuse to speak to anyone and just mope around looking despondent. But once I was 18 I'd never spend another birthday with them.
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Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
You'd think that the adults would know better than to deprive a child from her birthday, but oh well...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep! XD I didn't share a birthdate with anyone in my family, but my birthday "parties" were ALL about my mom when I was a kid (always HER favorite cake and ice cream flavors, even though I actually really dislike her fav cake type; she's known that since I was like 7 and just doesn't care.) The activities and stuff she planned were either things that made her look like the World's Awesomest Mom (when I was young) and then when I got older, she would "plan" activities that SHE wanted to do on my birthday (go to musicals SHE wanted to see, go to HER favorite restaurant, etc.) She and my older sister are now completely "baffled" as to why I don't want to celebrate my birthday at all any more. XD At its basic level, it's narcissism - in OP's case, Grandma is the narcissist and OP's parents are just allowing her to be a complete a-hole because they don't want to rock the boat. OP and Grandmother Dearest could have birthday celebrations/parties on two different days.
Load More Replies... Mark Alexander 1 month ago
I'd consider sitting on the couch in a catatonic state and ignore everyone. It'd drive them crazy because they all know what they've done. They all know how you feel. And they all *should* know exactly how much you care to be there. It's the most respectful and annoying way to tell them all to frack off.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Absolutely. Refuse to speak to anyone and just mope around looking despondent. But once I was 18 I'd never spend another birthday with them.
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