Woman Asks People Online If She’d Be A Jerk To Not Allow Previous Homeowners To Visit Her Home As They Are Complete Strangers To Her
It is a bit of a surreal experience to pass by the house, or even just the area, where you used to live. And the more time has passed, the stranger and more nostalgic it feels to revisit the place.
If that happens, nine times out of ten you’ll be thinking about whether you’d want to risk looking crazy or sounding like an absolute scammer by knocking on the door and asking its current inhabitants if they’d be all right with you coming in to reminisce about a time long gone and to tell them how you gave your younger sibling a noogy by the fireplace.
And we all know you’re not crazy. But the person whose door you’ll be knocking on (and subsequently the person who will have to listen to your sibling-bullying tactics) will also be the most skeptical of your intentions. And you can’t blame them. They’re just being careful.
Well, a woman recently found herself on the receiving end of this situation (of being asked to let someone in, not to get a noogy), and was wondering online if she’d be unreasonable to decline such an offer.
More Info: Mumsnet
It’s surreal to revisit a place you used to live at, but it’s completely sus if a complete stranger ends up on your doorstep sharing this feeling and wanting to come in
Image credits: ironypoisoning
Mumsnet user NoGoAway (seemingly foreshadowing her own opinions and intentions on the story you’re about to read) recently turned to the online community seeking advice.
The woman was returning home when she found a note from a stranger. The stranger claimed they used to live in the very house she is in now. Incidentally, that was also where their daughter was born, leading to a modest request—they wanted to come over and show the daughter where she used to live.
Apparently, they weren’t from the area anymore, but they were staying not too far off for a couple of days. They also disclosed when they used to live here and provided a phone number so that the current inhabitants could get in touch with them.
One woman recently kinda sorta had that experience, and was wondering if it’s a scam she’s not aware of and what she ought to do
Image credits: NoGoAway
Image credits: Heather Katsoulis
The OP was skeptical about this. Her initial reaction was to ignore it. But then intrusive thoughts came along that it was probably a scam. But it all seemed so genuine. But, regardless, she didn’t want them in her house.
One call attempt later, she couldn’t reach them just to tell them it’s a “no” and there was no way to leave a message. All of this got her thinking if this is a scam that she’s not aware of, or if she is overthinking it. The question eventually found its way onto Mumsnet, a forum dedicated to moms in the UK.
Image credits: NoGoAway
Image credits: Mac McCreery
And folks, for the most part, thought that this sounds genuine and not at all like a scam. Though everyone had their own opinions on whether the OP should allow strangers into her home, with some saying it’s harmless, others saying they aren’t obligated to do so, and yet others straight up noping this whole deal because you gotta be careful these days.
Most ruled that at face value, it seemed harmless. Asking someone to enter a home because they used to live there is not really a thing among scammers because it can very easily turn back on them—the current homeowner can ask questions about the home that only folks who lived there would know and put them on the spot.
Folks online thought this whole situation sounded genuine, but others were skeptical and suggested approaching it more carefully
According to Age UK, the most common doorstep scams involve rogue trading, bogus officials, fake charities, made-up consumer surveys, and hard luck stories. These scams prove to be more effective as the results are easier to achieve, whether it’s your money or identity that they’re trying to get a hold of.
But, since shady people are always trying to one-up their game, you can never be too careful about it, so caution is advised. Besides simply noping out of that situation by closing the door, you can also assume a bit more civilized approach like setting up a password with your utilities company. This way, when their specialists come in for an inspection, you could easily verify it with the secret code. Besides, companies call and set up a meeting before they come without asking you for your address, so that’s a form of verification in and of itself.
On top of that, legit charities, traders, and other officials will back off if they see a note saying no soliciting and the like. Not only because in some places it’s backed up by law, but also because they can’t risk damaging the reputation of the organization that they’re representing. So that should filter out the folks who are up to no good.
The story has managed to get a modest amount of attention online, and has been picked up by a few websites and news outlets. You can check out the story in context here.
But don’t go away just yet as we’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think this is a scam? Do you have your own stories to share? Any tips on how to stay safe in a situation like this? Let us know in the comment section below!
I would have said it is up to you, but you're in no obligation to let them in. When they gave you a bad phone number though, at that point I would say absolutely don't let them in.
Yeah the bad number would have me suspicious. They could have been casing the place and left the note as a cover for why they were really there if anyone questioned them. Knowing a span of years the current owners likely didn't live there is easy to guess with a simple search online.
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We bought our house 20 years ago, last year one of the daughters of the previous owners called us and asked if she could show the house to her own daughter, especially the garden where she used to play with her sister.... no big deal, sure! We spent a very nice afternoon with her :-)
We had a similar experience when the former owners died. Some of the children asked to visit the house, and it was a lovely time. Rather emotional for them. Classic old joke about this situation - "Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."
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I've lived in a lot of placed growing up. My mom has shown me the neighbourhoods she lived in when she was growing up and drove by her childhood home. But never have we thought it be appropriate to intrude on the people residing. These are homes. Not museums. Plus, house interiors get renovated so much, you're not going to see your furniture, so it's highly likely you're not going to get a good nostalgia feeling that you think you will. And depending on the tenancy laws where you live, you need to watch who you invite into your home. It can be harder to get them to leave if they refuse. They could be scoping out houses to rob, too. That's happened to me after an open house week. What me and my mom do is take photos of the homes we live in, both interior and exterior to look back on when we want. There's also Google Maps.
Tenancy laws? For inviting someone into your house for a few minutes? It didn't sound like the people wanted to stay over, just look around.
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Whenever I’ve been in my hometown, I’ve driven by my childhood home more than a few times, totally wondering if I’d have the courage to ask for a tour. SPECIFICALLY, because I remember a secret door in the hall closet. It was probably something to access the crawl space, it as a young child? It was Narnia! 🤣💕
Personally I wouldn't trust strangers in my home. But for the person who said "if it meant that much ...shouldn't have sold it to me", that's cruel. I was forced to leave the only home I'd ever lived in when I got older because there was noooo wayyy I was going to rent from my abusive parents. But that was my home. I never wanted to leave, and I cry a LOT about how it looks now (ruined) and I always wanted to buy it back someday. My grandpa built that house. 17 years and I'm not over it, but I had no money and no chouce then. My parents sold my dream house so they could buy theirs.
Seems a bit paranoid to jump straight to the scam. I would love to visit the house I spent most of my childhood in, but don't have the courage to ask... Now after seeing this post I'm definitely not asking, though I always feel nostalgic passing nearby (happens 1 time in maybe 5 years)
I drove by my old farmhouse where I grew up. Last minute decision --- I decided to drive into the driveway. Not a good idea. The place had been trashed and the hillbilly family that lived there looked like they were ready to pull out a banjo... omg lol. Let's just say I didn't ask to go into the house.
We bought and renovated a run-down house when we were in our 20s. At one point, a group of women stood across the road pointing at the house, and it turned out they grew up there. We invited them in and spent a lovely time walking around the house and garden with them filling us in on what it was like growing up there. We had found some toy soldiers buried in the back yard, and it turned out they belonged to one of the women, who had buried them there when she was very young. It was wonderful hearing their stories of the house and the neighborhood. What a lost opportunity for the OP.
There’s no obligation but it’s a fairly common thing. My sister owns an old Victorian. She’s had several people visit including a 90 year old whose family owned the house from around 1920 to 1980. He told her a ton of interesting things about the house and the people who lived there. Another time, her Mennonite builder came with his dad and some other Mennonite carpenters, complete with beards and hats, to take a look at the place. Apparently the dad had done the reno back in the 80s with these guys and they wanted to see what changed.
It happened to me once when I lived in Georgia. It was weird, but it was also special to share those memories of the community with someone firsthand. We stood on the front stoop just chatting. I lived in a rental shotgun house in the historic black neighborhood called "The Hollow" that was built up around a Presbyterian church. She was beautiful and sweet, and I enjoyed talking to her.
I think I’d be disappointed to see the house I grew up in, because it would look so different. I’d rather keep my memories of what it was.
I had an old man taking pictures of my house. He then knocked on the door and told me he grew up in my house and his grandfather built it. I gave him a tour. He asked if he could bring some relative by to see it. I happily obliged and gave them a tour too. I told them they could come take a look anytime. I showed them all I had done and how I was trying to keep everything exactly as it had been built. A few weeks later, I received a giant bouquet and a basket full of soaps and chocolates and the like with a thank you note for loving the house and sharing it with them. Sometimes just being kind is the answer
I don't even want 90% of my family in my house. Why the hell would I want some strangers in my home?
I found someone on Facebook who grew up in the house I live in and invited her and her whole family over for a BBQ! She brought photos of the house from when she grew up and it was awesome. We're Facebook friends now. Other previous owners stopped by once and asked over the fence (we were in the backyard) if they could come and look. We invited them in and were happy to show them around. Their kids' handprints are in the patio in the back so it was cool to show them it was still there, even though the owners right before us had done a lot of remodeling. The only regret I have was not getting their contact info. I would have loved to have kept in touch. I feel such a strong connection to places that I love to learn the history from other people who've had the same connection. I would be thrilled to get such a note on my door.
We have just visited our old home, it was a great day meeting and drinking Coffee with the New owners. They enjoyed our visit and talks about the house. My parents where the builders of the house. So the New ownets thought it was very interesting and invited us back for more Coffee and asked to bring old pictures. Do not fear your fellowman, be sceptical and be more People at home..
My family often drive past places we used to live. One day, I might approach my Grandmothers old house they lived in. My grandfather had it built when he won the California Big Spin and there is a lot of fun trivia, history I could impart on the new owners if they were so inclined. I would also understand and respect their desire to not.
Second time was intentional as this house had MANY memories growing up. There have only been 3 owners on the house - My grandparents, my cousin, & the lady who owns it now. While I was scanning pics one day, I ran across pics of the house from 1926 with my grandparents on the porch, then one from 1960. One day I took a picture of the house in 2013 & made a very nice photo of the three pictures together. While the homeowner wasn't home, i talked to the neighbor who had lived there since my grandparents & remembered them & my cousin. So I left the picture with her & my number. The new owner invited me to see the changes & tour the house. Then had a nice afternoon talking about my family. She invited me back anytime, but I had to close that chapter of my life (long story) because my dad's wife when he passed, sold the house from under his kids (me & my brother) and it was too painful to go back there again once I knew the lady loved the home as much as I had growing up.
I've done this twice in my life - Once intentionally and once accidentally. The first house I lived in until I was 3 years old, I delivered a pizza to one day. When I realized the house, I told them I used to live there. They invited me in to see the house (I declined) but described the house perfectly including asking if the retaining wall was still in the backyard (it still was after 25 years) and even named the neighbor (who had sadly passed away the year before). Was nice to know that I could remember the home only living there from birth to 3.
If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger in your house then say no. It’s your domain. I’d find it amusing if someone tried that with me. We built this house and we’re the only ones to live here.🤣
My brother and I were in our old neighborhood. I parked so we could walk by and look at the yard. The new owner opens the door and asks if he can help us. We said our family used to live there and we were just reminiscing. He calls my brother by his name and invites us I to see the renovations he has done. (My brother had delivered some appliance manuals that my Dad meant to leave at the house.) The new owner did an amazing job of updating the old house.
It is wierd but I have a friend who did this. They asked if they could get something they hid in a closet under a moveable piece of wood and the owners let him. It was some birth/adoption document that he hid there for safe keeping and forgot to take it when they moved. It was really cool of the owner to allow him and it was helpful that the new owner outsized my friend by alot so he felt safe letting this gangly guy enter
I can go in my childhood home whenever I want because my parents still live there. If they didn't live there anymore, I would not even think about asking the new owners if I could come in and see the house. Life is not a Miranda Lambert video.
If I ever wanted to see my childhood home I have many photos of us as kids standing in front of it and an old driver license of my mom's to verify it, lol
Seeing the outside of the house should be enough for them. Your house, your rules. You're certainly not, under any circumstances, obligated to let anyone in your home. I personally wouldn't allow it. If you do let strangers in your home and they do something shady, I'd say, should've gone with your gut. Might be super overdramatic, but maybe have a man or even some form of law enforcement there when they come to ensure no funny business happens. I don't trust anyone that hasn't proven to me they are worthy of it.
I would have said it is up to you, but you're in no obligation to let them in. When they gave you a bad phone number though, at that point I would say absolutely don't let them in.
Yeah the bad number would have me suspicious. They could have been casing the place and left the note as a cover for why they were really there if anyone questioned them. Knowing a span of years the current owners likely didn't live there is easy to guess with a simple search online.
Load More Replies... We bought our house 20 years ago, last year one of the daughters of the previous owners called us and asked if she could show the house to her own daughter, especially the garden where she used to play with her sister.... no big deal, sure! We spent a very nice afternoon with her :-)
We had a similar experience when the former owners died. Some of the children asked to visit the house, and it was a lovely time. Rather emotional for them. Classic old joke about this situation - "Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."
Load More Replies... I've lived in a lot of placed growing up. My mom has shown me the neighbourhoods she lived in when she was growing up and drove by her childhood home. But never have we thought it be appropriate to intrude on the people residing. These are homes. Not museums. Plus, house interiors get renovated so much, you're not going to see your furniture, so it's highly likely you're not going to get a good nostalgia feeling that you think you will. And depending on the tenancy laws where you live, you need to watch who you invite into your home. It can be harder to get them to leave if they refuse. They could be scoping out houses to rob, too. That's happened to me after an open house week. What me and my mom do is take photos of the homes we live in, both interior and exterior to look back on when we want. There's also Google Maps.
Tenancy laws? For inviting someone into your house for a few minutes? It didn't sound like the people wanted to stay over, just look around.
Load More Replies... Whenever I’ve been in my hometown, I’ve driven by my childhood home more than a few times, totally wondering if I’d have the courage to ask for a tour. SPECIFICALLY, because I remember a secret door in the hall closet. It was probably something to access the crawl space, it as a young child? It was Narnia! 🤣💕
Personally I wouldn't trust strangers in my home. But for the person who said "if it meant that much ...shouldn't have sold it to me", that's cruel. I was forced to leave the only home I'd ever lived in when I got older because there was noooo wayyy I was going to rent from my abusive parents. But that was my home. I never wanted to leave, and I cry a LOT about how it looks now (ruined) and I always wanted to buy it back someday. My grandpa built that house. 17 years and I'm not over it, but I had no money and no chouce then. My parents sold my dream house so they could buy theirs.
Seems a bit paranoid to jump straight to the scam. I would love to visit the house I spent most of my childhood in, but don't have the courage to ask... Now after seeing this post I'm definitely not asking, though I always feel nostalgic passing nearby (happens 1 time in maybe 5 years)
I drove by my old farmhouse where I grew up. Last minute decision --- I decided to drive into the driveway. Not a good idea. The place had been trashed and the hillbilly family that lived there looked like they were ready to pull out a banjo... omg lol. Let's just say I didn't ask to go into the house.
We bought and renovated a run-down house when we were in our 20s. At one point, a group of women stood across the road pointing at the house, and it turned out they grew up there. We invited them in and spent a lovely time walking around the house and garden with them filling us in on what it was like growing up there. We had found some toy soldiers buried in the back yard, and it turned out they belonged to one of the women, who had buried them there when she was very young. It was wonderful hearing their stories of the house and the neighborhood. What a lost opportunity for the OP.
There’s no obligation but it’s a fairly common thing. My sister owns an old Victorian. She’s had several people visit including a 90 year old whose family owned the house from around 1920 to 1980. He told her a ton of interesting things about the house and the people who lived there. Another time, her Mennonite builder came with his dad and some other Mennonite carpenters, complete with beards and hats, to take a look at the place. Apparently the dad had done the reno back in the 80s with these guys and they wanted to see what changed.
It happened to me once when I lived in Georgia. It was weird, but it was also special to share those memories of the community with someone firsthand. We stood on the front stoop just chatting. I lived in a rental shotgun house in the historic black neighborhood called "The Hollow" that was built up around a Presbyterian church. She was beautiful and sweet, and I enjoyed talking to her.
I think I’d be disappointed to see the house I grew up in, because it would look so different. I’d rather keep my memories of what it was.
I had an old man taking pictures of my house. He then knocked on the door and told me he grew up in my house and his grandfather built it. I gave him a tour. He asked if he could bring some relative by to see it. I happily obliged and gave them a tour too. I told them they could come take a look anytime. I showed them all I had done and how I was trying to keep everything exactly as it had been built. A few weeks later, I received a giant bouquet and a basket full of soaps and chocolates and the like with a thank you note for loving the house and sharing it with them. Sometimes just being kind is the answer
I don't even want 90% of my family in my house. Why the hell would I want some strangers in my home?
I found someone on Facebook who grew up in the house I live in and invited her and her whole family over for a BBQ! She brought photos of the house from when she grew up and it was awesome. We're Facebook friends now. Other previous owners stopped by once and asked over the fence (we were in the backyard) if they could come and look. We invited them in and were happy to show them around. Their kids' handprints are in the patio in the back so it was cool to show them it was still there, even though the owners right before us had done a lot of remodeling. The only regret I have was not getting their contact info. I would have loved to have kept in touch. I feel such a strong connection to places that I love to learn the history from other people who've had the same connection. I would be thrilled to get such a note on my door.
We have just visited our old home, it was a great day meeting and drinking Coffee with the New owners. They enjoyed our visit and talks about the house. My parents where the builders of the house. So the New ownets thought it was very interesting and invited us back for more Coffee and asked to bring old pictures. Do not fear your fellowman, be sceptical and be more People at home..
My family often drive past places we used to live. One day, I might approach my Grandmothers old house they lived in. My grandfather had it built when he won the California Big Spin and there is a lot of fun trivia, history I could impart on the new owners if they were so inclined. I would also understand and respect their desire to not.
Second time was intentional as this house had MANY memories growing up. There have only been 3 owners on the house - My grandparents, my cousin, & the lady who owns it now. While I was scanning pics one day, I ran across pics of the house from 1926 with my grandparents on the porch, then one from 1960. One day I took a picture of the house in 2013 & made a very nice photo of the three pictures together. While the homeowner wasn't home, i talked to the neighbor who had lived there since my grandparents & remembered them & my cousin. So I left the picture with her & my number. The new owner invited me to see the changes & tour the house. Then had a nice afternoon talking about my family. She invited me back anytime, but I had to close that chapter of my life (long story) because my dad's wife when he passed, sold the house from under his kids (me & my brother) and it was too painful to go back there again once I knew the lady loved the home as much as I had growing up.
I've done this twice in my life - Once intentionally and once accidentally. The first house I lived in until I was 3 years old, I delivered a pizza to one day. When I realized the house, I told them I used to live there. They invited me in to see the house (I declined) but described the house perfectly including asking if the retaining wall was still in the backyard (it still was after 25 years) and even named the neighbor (who had sadly passed away the year before). Was nice to know that I could remember the home only living there from birth to 3.
If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger in your house then say no. It’s your domain. I’d find it amusing if someone tried that with me. We built this house and we’re the only ones to live here.🤣
My brother and I were in our old neighborhood. I parked so we could walk by and look at the yard. The new owner opens the door and asks if he can help us. We said our family used to live there and we were just reminiscing. He calls my brother by his name and invites us I to see the renovations he has done. (My brother had delivered some appliance manuals that my Dad meant to leave at the house.) The new owner did an amazing job of updating the old house.
It is wierd but I have a friend who did this. They asked if they could get something they hid in a closet under a moveable piece of wood and the owners let him. It was some birth/adoption document that he hid there for safe keeping and forgot to take it when they moved. It was really cool of the owner to allow him and it was helpful that the new owner outsized my friend by alot so he felt safe letting this gangly guy enter
I can go in my childhood home whenever I want because my parents still live there. If they didn't live there anymore, I would not even think about asking the new owners if I could come in and see the house. Life is not a Miranda Lambert video.
If I ever wanted to see my childhood home I have many photos of us as kids standing in front of it and an old driver license of my mom's to verify it, lol
Seeing the outside of the house should be enough for them. Your house, your rules. You're certainly not, under any circumstances, obligated to let anyone in your home. I personally wouldn't allow it. If you do let strangers in your home and they do something shady, I'd say, should've gone with your gut. Might be super overdramatic, but maybe have a man or even some form of law enforcement there when they come to ensure no funny business happens. I don't trust anyone that hasn't proven to me they are worthy of it.
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