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28YO Man Has An Affair While GF Is Away, Mom Finds Out And Is Livid, Forces Him To Come Clean
Parenting isn’t always easy; sometimes you have to make tough decisions even when it’s uncomfortable for you. The problem is that you might end up overstepping and forcing your own ideas onto the other person, which can then cause more problems than it solves.
This is the situation a woman found herself in after learning that her son had cheated on his girlfriend in her own house. She knew that she couldn’t stay silent about his actions and gave him an ultimatum to tell the truth or risk being exposed by her.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
No parent wants to find their kid doing anything wrong, and if they do, it might be the source of a dilemma
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that since she and her husband were staying with their friends for the New Year, their son had volunteered to stay at their home and watch the dog
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and her husband ended up coming home early without their son knowing, and they found out that he had a random girl over
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman realized that her son had cheated on his girlfriend while she was away, and she felt disgusted that he would do something like that
Image credits: ErsBears
The poster told her son that he needs to come clean to his girlfriend before going on vacation with her next week, or else she’d tell the woman herself
What the woman never expected to find just after the New Year started was her son having an affair with someone while his girlfriend was away. She only found out about his infidelity because she and her husband returned home early, as their friend had fallen ill, and she was horrified when she got to know the truth.
It can be shocking to find out that your child is having an affair, and it can be tempting to pass judgment, but experts advise staying calm and taking a moment to process the situation. By asking open-ended questions instead of giving advice, it will help the other person open up and reflect a bit more on their actions.
Unfortunately, when the woman realized that her son had a random woman, she couldn’t stay silent about it and knew that she had to confront him. At first, he lied about the situation and tried to cover up what he had done, but she kept pressing the matter, and he told her that he had cheated on his partner.
Nobody wants to find themselves in a situation like this where they might have to expose someone’s infidelity. According to marriage advisors, it’s best for the cheater to be honest about their actions, rather than someone else coming out with the news, as this can lead to a lot of unnecessary complications.
Image credits: artinvec / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s clear that the OP cared about her son’s girlfriend, which is why she didn’t want the woman to be hurt by his actions. She also felt that the young lady should be informed about the infidelity before they took the big step of moving in together, which is what they had planned to do this year.
That’s why the poster gave her son an ultimatum and told him to tell his partner the truth, or else she would spill the beans. Although this might be quite a noble thing for the mom to do, professionals state that parents should take a step back from trying to influence or meddle in their child’s life, as it might negatively affect their relationship.
The mom obviously wanted her son to be on the right path and not hurt someone else’s feelings, which is why she had taken such a strong stand. She also didn’t want to meet the young woman in the upcoming week and have to be around her, knowing such a big secret.
Many people told the woman not to meddle in her son’s business, but the issue seemed to be very personal for her, as she mentioned that she had been cheated on as a young adult. That’s probably why she didn’t want her son to cause someone else the same kind of pain that she had felt before.
What do you think the woman should do in a complicated situation like this? Do share your honest thoughts in the comments below.
Most people told the poster not to do anything about the situation and to let her son handle it
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What do you think ?
Chrystina Sumpter 4 days ago
The son made the cheating his parents’ business by doing it in their home. And now that they know about it, why should they lie to his girlfriend. Ideally, the son should be the one to tell his girlfriend, but if he doesn’t, then she should. The son claims he loves his girlfriend but he downloaded a dating app. People in committed relationships who don’t want to cheat don’t download dating apps.
marcelo D. 3 days ago
this exactly, The idiots saying "it's not your bussiness", it become their bussiness the moment the son did it where the parent could caught him and got caught, cause now they either lie to the girlfriend (directly or by omission) or they tell them the truth, there is no third option there.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 4 days ago
Sorry, GF needs to know to get tested for STDs. If Sonny-boy doesn't tell GF, mom should. If Sonny were a better person, mom wouldn't *need* to tell GF cuz AH wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
Binky Melnik 4 days ago
The commenter who suggests that maybe he’s not happy in the relationship or having doubts, or the relationship may not be all it seems seems to be looking for reasons that cheating is okay. Good grief. I wouldn’t take any advice from that jerk about anything! Poor girl. Man, this is making me wonder about ways in which I mightta disappointed my mom without knowing it, as she was very tight-lipped. C**p. She’s dеad now and I can’t do anything about it, but now it’s gonna eat at me wondering whether I did. Nuts.
Debbie 4 days ago
If he doesn't tell her, mom should. For the reasons she said (std's). Of it wasn't mom, but a friend of the gf who found out, everyone would say that they should tell their friend their partner is cheating. Why is it different of is the mom of the cheater? I'd think it's horrible to find out others knew about the cheating but didn't tell you. Extra hurt.
Fellfromthemoon 3 days ago
Ok, so, if any other woman would consider telling GF about the cheating, she would become immediately a 'girl's girl'. Do I miss something?
Purple Gurl 3 days ago
It became the parent's business when he brought it to their home. If he had been in his own apartment and Mom found out, not her call. In her home-Oh yeah, totally her business now. Dude shoved it in her face, FFS
Nicole Weymann 3 days ago (edited)
"You'll damage your son's trust in you": yeah, I love that one! Sonny boy broke his girlfriend's trust by cheating, and broke his parents' trust by bringing a stranger to their home to cheat with, but sure: do whatever you can to not damage HIS trust in YOU! /S And to the solicitous "there must be a reason"-commenter: the most obvious reason would be that he's an ársehole, or at least inconsiderate. His first immediate concern was that the upcoming trip with his (soon to be ex?) girlfriend might be ruined. "He's your son and should be your first priority": you mean as long as there are parents in the picture anything is excusable?? (Also I imagine his girlfriend has parents, too, and if not: does that make her fair game?) If he behaves badly the parents should be the first to call him out!
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 days ago
If your mother/sister/friend knew that your boyfriend/girlfriend was cheating on you, and your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn't going to tell you, wouldn't you want your family member/friend to tell you the truth?
Load More Replies... Chrystina Sumpter 4 days ago
The son made the cheating his parents’ business by doing it in their home. And now that they know about it, why should they lie to his girlfriend. Ideally, the son should be the one to tell his girlfriend, but if he doesn’t, then she should. The son claims he loves his girlfriend but he downloaded a dating app. People in committed relationships who don’t want to cheat don’t download dating apps.
marcelo D. 3 days ago
this exactly, The idiots saying "it's not your bussiness", it become their bussiness the moment the son did it where the parent could caught him and got caught, cause now they either lie to the girlfriend (directly or by omission) or they tell them the truth, there is no third option there.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 4 days ago
Sorry, GF needs to know to get tested for STDs. If Sonny-boy doesn't tell GF, mom should. If Sonny were a better person, mom wouldn't *need* to tell GF cuz AH wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
Binky Melnik 4 days ago
The commenter who suggests that maybe he’s not happy in the relationship or having doubts, or the relationship may not be all it seems seems to be looking for reasons that cheating is okay. Good grief. I wouldn’t take any advice from that jerk about anything! Poor girl. Man, this is making me wonder about ways in which I mightta disappointed my mom without knowing it, as she was very tight-lipped. C**p. She’s dеad now and I can’t do anything about it, but now it’s gonna eat at me wondering whether I did. Nuts.
Debbie 4 days ago
If he doesn't tell her, mom should. For the reasons she said (std's). Of it wasn't mom, but a friend of the gf who found out, everyone would say that they should tell their friend their partner is cheating. Why is it different of is the mom of the cheater? I'd think it's horrible to find out others knew about the cheating but didn't tell you. Extra hurt.
Fellfromthemoon 3 days ago
Ok, so, if any other woman would consider telling GF about the cheating, she would become immediately a 'girl's girl'. Do I miss something?
Purple Gurl 3 days ago
It became the parent's business when he brought it to their home. If he had been in his own apartment and Mom found out, not her call. In her home-Oh yeah, totally her business now. Dude shoved it in her face, FFS
Nicole Weymann 3 days ago (edited)
"You'll damage your son's trust in you": yeah, I love that one! Sonny boy broke his girlfriend's trust by cheating, and broke his parents' trust by bringing a stranger to their home to cheat with, but sure: do whatever you can to not damage HIS trust in YOU! /S And to the solicitous "there must be a reason"-commenter: the most obvious reason would be that he's an ársehole, or at least inconsiderate. His first immediate concern was that the upcoming trip with his (soon to be ex?) girlfriend might be ruined. "He's your son and should be your first priority": you mean as long as there are parents in the picture anything is excusable?? (Also I imagine his girlfriend has parents, too, and if not: does that make her fair game?) If he behaves badly the parents should be the first to call him out!
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 days ago
If your mother/sister/friend knew that your boyfriend/girlfriend was cheating on you, and your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn't going to tell you, wouldn't you want your family member/friend to tell you the truth?
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