Man’s GF Thinks His Childhood Friend Has Hidden Agenda To Date Him, Pressures Her To Admit It
Interview With Author
Sometimes, even lifelong friendships can be tested when new people enter one person’s life, for example, a romantic partner. If that partner isn’t fond of their significant other’s friend and acts on that distaste, well, it can lead to quite an uncomfortable situation. Just like it did in today’s story, where a woman rocks the boat of a lifelong friendship, as her friend’s girlfriend was actively showing her hatred toward her by coming up with fake claims.
More info: Reddit
While some people keep their distaste of someone to themselves, others go out of their way to show it to the disliked person
Image credits: Ylanite Koppens (not the actual photo)
A woman’s lifelong friend’s girlfriend obviously didn’t like her and kept implying that the woman wanted to date her boyfriend
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ParticularAnxious208
After getting sick of being annoyed by a friend’s girlfriend, the woman decided to skip his birthday party, upsetting not only him but both their parents, who were best friends, too
For broader context about the situation, Bored Panda reached out to the story’s author. She has a friend, Miles, whom she has known since they were two, as their parents are best friends. In fact, the woman said that they view each other as a chosen family. She added that it should be noted that she isn’t in love with Miles at all. He is just a friend to her.
Today’s story started because Miles’ girlfriend, Lindy, doesn’t like the OP. Lindy keeps calling the author a “typical girl best friend” and likes to imply that she must want to sleep with Miles, which is very far from the truth, as she never planned to ruin his relationship.
The whole thing got worse when she saw a picture of when Miles and the OP were 8 years old and had a school wedding play where they were bride and groom. The post’s author talked to Miles about his girlfriend’s distaste for her, but he dismissed her worries.
When Miles invited the OP to his birthday, Lindy wrote to her that she’d be supervising her. The original poster felt fed up with this, so she once again tried talking to her friend, but there were no new results. So, she decided to skip the birthday party. This kind of decision made everyone — Miles, Lindy, the OP’s parents, and Miles’ parents upset and mad.
On the other hand, most of the Redditors were supportive of the OP’s decision. They completely understood why she felt annoyed by the whole situation. After all, who would want to be supervised by their friend’s girlfriend just because said girlfriend imagines nonexistent things?
We asked the OP if she still thinks this was a good decision, to which she answered yes: “Lindy would have made me feel very uncomfortable. I already struggle with a generalized panic disorder. Going would have put me in a mental state that would have been unhealthy.”
Additionally, some netizens expressed the thought that sometimes it’s good to move on from relationships in your life that seem to not be working anymore. Well, we’re not sure if the author not attending the birthday party had this exact intention, as she said that, in her eyes, she had done something any rational human would do.
She says that she always tries her best not to cross any lines of male-female friendships, like not intruding on personal spaces, not hanging out in places that are too intimate, and things like that. Up until Lindy came into the picture, the OP never had any problems with Miles’ other partners.
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Well, if you’re still wondering what are those signs that a friendship is starting to not work anymore, we’re here to help. Of course, it always depends on the situation and the friendship itself, but here are some of them:
- Your friend doesn’t prioritize spending time with you;
- Your friend doesn’t tell you any information or lies about things;
- You don’t seem to connect at any level;
- You give more energy into the friendship than you get;
- You need to downplay your accomplishments to not make your friend jealous;
- Your friend is always mean to you.
If any of these signs fit your beloved friendship, don’t freak out. As we said, it always depends on the situation. And if it still worries you, as with almost all situations in life, it’s always good to talk to your friend, no matter how cliche it might sound.
And if it turns out that your friendship isn’t in the healthiest place right now, you can always consider friendship counseling. Yes, it’s a thing. Basically, it’s like couples counseling, just for platonic relationships. It can be a place where both parties can express their feelings and work through them.
Of course, sometimes, the best thing is to end the friendship, especially if it not only doesn’t work but harms the parties involved. The ending of a friendship can be executed gradually, with friends becoming more and more distant. Or it can immediately, for example, with one of the friends (or both of them) deciding to end their relationship.
Also, there’s always an option for a break. After all, not all friendship breakups have to be permanent. Maybe you just need distance from this person right now, but in the future, you might enjoy their company again.
Well, we can’t predict what the future holds for the OP and Miles’ friendship, but it’s very clear that his relationship with Lindy isn’t helping it. The woman mentioned that their friendship is basically in his hands now. So, let’s hope they will all find a way to work it out, as it would be sad to lose a person, who you consider chosen family, due to someone’s odd actions.
So, she asked people online whether her skipping the birthday party was the wrong move, and they assured her that, in their eyes, it wasn’t
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Screenshotting and giving the texts to OP's parents should be enough. They will naturally pass them on to Miles' parents, who will then pass them on to Miles. I suspect his parents and OP's might already see red flags with Lindy's behavior toward OP, and maybe in other situations as well. So the texts will confirm their suspicions, and their natural reaction will be to warn their son, this time with concrete evidence in Lindy's own words.
Plus, OP and Miles are in their "early 20s" (and presumably Lindy is as well.) Apologies to the young Pandas out there who FEEL mature, but you're not a fully-mature adult until your mid-20s. Pretty sure most medical/psychological professionals agree these days that the brain/frontal lobe/emotions do not fully "mature" until age 25ish. I doubt Lindy is Miles' One True Love 4ever And Ever and she is a d-bag for trying to destroy Miles' childhood/current friendship(s). I'm no relationship expert (and I have dated a grand total of 4 people in my 42 years of life) but I know that people in their early 20s are still immature emotionally. Poor OP and poor Miles - their friendship might get entirely destroyed over a girl that Miles - statistically speaking - will likely not date/marry/be with for a long period of time.
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Lindy is controlling Miles relationships and hes making excuses for her. Absolutely do not keep the messages a secret because if/when the abuse escalates, his family should know whats been going on. Telling the truth is never "causing drama".
It would be hard but I would step back from both of them. For better or worse, it's their time now.
My Hubby has a GBF, I am secure enough to know it is a friendship, but at first it seemed weird. Some people just need time to process things, but supervise, NO.
I think if Lindy hasnt gotten the idea that this is just a friendship after three years, she's not getting it.
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Kiwihoney nailed it. Lindy is terribly insecure, and Miles either needs to address this with her, or dump her if he wants to keep OP as a friend. I don't blame OP at all for not wanting to be around him if Lindy's with him.
My son was raised with 2 same aged girls. They have been together since they were 4mnths, 1.5, and not quite 3. They are now 16, 17, & 18. They were raised TOGETHER as a unit. I seriously dread the day one of their partners tries to pull this. I promise you, they all think the other is disgusting and ugly and stupid and they have no romantic feelings towards eachother. They love eachother, they are friends to the end, and I don't look forward to a conversation with a girl that tells my son he can't see them.
Correction, 16, 18, 18. My bad. They grow fast.
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I'm trying to understand Lindy's logic... Okay, the little 8-year-old minx was scheming to get her claws into Miles and there are wedding pictures to prove it... Somehow, Miles and the OP were besties, yet never got romantic in the past dozen+ years... Now Lindy has to cockblock lest Miles and OP do the nasty on the party floor because... oh c**p, don't know why... Brain hurts. Illogical. Does not compute. And I'm someone who's had the odd jealous moment (as has my husband).
Screenshotting and giving the texts to OP's parents should be enough. They will naturally pass them on to Miles' parents, who will then pass them on to Miles. I suspect his parents and OP's might already see red flags with Lindy's behavior toward OP, and maybe in other situations as well. So the texts will confirm their suspicions, and their natural reaction will be to warn their son, this time with concrete evidence in Lindy's own words.
Plus, OP and Miles are in their "early 20s" (and presumably Lindy is as well.) Apologies to the young Pandas out there who FEEL mature, but you're not a fully-mature adult until your mid-20s. Pretty sure most medical/psychological professionals agree these days that the brain/frontal lobe/emotions do not fully "mature" until age 25ish. I doubt Lindy is Miles' One True Love 4ever And Ever and she is a d-bag for trying to destroy Miles' childhood/current friendship(s). I'm no relationship expert (and I have dated a grand total of 4 people in my 42 years of life) but I know that people in their early 20s are still immature emotionally. Poor OP and poor Miles - their friendship might get entirely destroyed over a girl that Miles - statistically speaking - will likely not date/marry/be with for a long period of time.
Load More Replies... Lindy is controlling Miles relationships and hes making excuses for her. Absolutely do not keep the messages a secret because if/when the abuse escalates, his family should know whats been going on. Telling the truth is never "causing drama".
It would be hard but I would step back from both of them. For better or worse, it's their time now.
My Hubby has a GBF, I am secure enough to know it is a friendship, but at first it seemed weird. Some people just need time to process things, but supervise, NO.
I think if Lindy hasnt gotten the idea that this is just a friendship after three years, she's not getting it.
Load More Replies... Kiwihoney nailed it. Lindy is terribly insecure, and Miles either needs to address this with her, or dump her if he wants to keep OP as a friend. I don't blame OP at all for not wanting to be around him if Lindy's with him.
My son was raised with 2 same aged girls. They have been together since they were 4mnths, 1.5, and not quite 3. They are now 16, 17, & 18. They were raised TOGETHER as a unit. I seriously dread the day one of their partners tries to pull this. I promise you, they all think the other is disgusting and ugly and stupid and they have no romantic feelings towards eachother. They love eachother, they are friends to the end, and I don't look forward to a conversation with a girl that tells my son he can't see them.
Correction, 16, 18, 18. My bad. They grow fast.
Load More Replies... I'm trying to understand Lindy's logic... Okay, the little 8-year-old minx was scheming to get her claws into Miles and there are wedding pictures to prove it... Somehow, Miles and the OP were besties, yet never got romantic in the past dozen+ years... Now Lindy has to cockblock lest Miles and OP do the nasty on the party floor because... oh c**p, don't know why... Brain hurts. Illogical. Does not compute. And I'm someone who's had the odd jealous moment (as has my husband).
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