Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Getting pregnant isn’t always a walk in the park. Some couples try for years and pursue every medical avenue available, only to come up empty-handed time and time again. Of course, this can take a serious mental toll, if not just a physical one.
One woman’s twin-sister has struggled to conceive since she was 20 and has burned through two marriages in the process. During one of her rants about how unfair it is that some people can fall pregnant easily, the frustrated woman suggested adoption. That’s when all hell broke loose.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Pregnancy can be a sore point for people struggling to conceive, as this woman found out the hard way
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her twin sister had been trying to get pregnant for years, burning through two marriages in the process
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day her sister started whining about how unfair it is that some people can fall pregnant so easily
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Having been through this drama one too many times, the woman snapped and told her sister she should just adopt
Image credits: AgeAware5941
Her sister and mom hit the roof, and have since cut off all contact, leaving the woman to ask netizens if her suggestion had been a jerk move
OP and her twin sister had both battled infertility, but only OP had given up and moved on. After trying once years ago, she embraced a childfree life, finding joy in a second marriage and peace with her reality. Meanwhile, her twin was consumed by the dream of motherhood, chasing pregnancy through every scientific option, heartbreak, and failed relationship.
Despite multiple miscarriages and years of disappointment, OP’s twin never gave up. Her desperate journey cost her two marriages and left a string of abandoned partners. Still, she kept hoping. The emotional roller coaster became a defining feature of her life, one that OP quietly distanced herself from to protect her own peace.
During a family dinner, the topic of a cousin’s surprise baby came up. OP’s sister spiraled, ranting about how unfair life was. Caught between awkwardness and frustration, OP casually suggested adoption, but her comment sent the room into emotional chaos. Tears, locked doors, and screams followed. OP’s mother called it an unforgivable insult.
Confused why adoption, a loving, valid path, was so offensive, OP left but her mother demanded an apology and has not spoken to her since. OP’s husband said she lacked empathy but also warned her to ignore the drama. Now she’s stuck wondering: Was she too blunt, or is this just another chapter in her sister’s never-ending quest?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
OP might have been lacking some tact in the moment, but her adoption idea wasn’t coming from a bad place. If anything, her sister owes her an apology for taking it so badly, and her mom needs a reality check for her stinking thinking. What are the realities of adoption, though? And how can OP’s sister better navigate her struggle with fertility? We went looking for answers.
According to American Adoptions, the circumstances of each adoption vary greatly, and no two adoptions look alike. However, most adoptions generally fall into one of five categories: domestic infant adoption, independent adoption, foster care adoption, stepparent adoption and international adoption. The different types of adoption vary in process, costs, wait times, advantages and challenges.
Some people who struggle to conceive resist adoption. Reasons for this may include holding onto the hope of a biological child, cultural and social expectations, emotional and psychological barriers, practical and logistical challenges, misinformation and lack of awareness, and family and partner opposition.
In her article for Psychology Today, Fenella Das Gupta writes that, in the fertility journey, our thoughts can be our greatest allies or our most formidable foes. Unhelpful thinking styles can sabotage both mental health and fertility efforts, so it’s critical to identify them and counter them with mindfulness and a growth mindset.
It sounds like OP’s sister could use some therapy to challenge her habit of catastrophizing and overgeneralization. Perhaps in time she can replace her longing for a biological child, make peace with her situation, or even reconsider adoption.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her suggestion was outlandish, or does she make a good point? Let us know in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly agreed that the woman was not being a jerk and suggested the sister was in serious need of therapy
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
I'm adopted. I've mentioned this before. I have never viewed my adoptive parents and sister as anything *except* my parents/sister. They ARE my family. I personally will never fully understand why some people "have" to have a child that is their own DNA when they claim they just want a child/want to be a parent/have a family. I accept that that viewpoint is valid, but I don't understand it. If you actually want a child/family that badly, you'll adopt/foster. But I accept that some people cannot view adopted children as actually "their children". That being said, OP's sister struggled with conceiving for years and never carried a child to term. She is in a lot of pain emotionally and mentally, and the MANNER in which OP brought up adoption was insensitive and hurtful. OP was tired of hearing her sister talk about it, so OP got snippy. She could/should have brought up the possibility of adoption at ANY other point, perhaps talking to her sister alone, etc.
Uncle Panda 4 months ago (edited)
I don't know if happens to humans but chickens and ducks can get 'broody' - locked in a reproductive mode they can't satisfy. They can become so distressed you can see it in their behavior and grooming. The last time I had an issue, I set her up a nest with a few eggs from another hen and she was able to break free (of the hormones, I guess). She was a pretty good mom once things hatched out.
Darshan 3 months ago
OHH MAGA. Please checkin to the nearest mental health service centre Old Mcdonald...
Load More Replies...
Paul C 4 months ago
I can see both sides of this - it was an insensitive comment to a woman that has spent 15 years or so trying to have a baby. I'm sure she would have considered adopting if that was something she would have been happy with. I can also see how it would be draining on someone, who has the identical problem, to have someone always saying "woe is me" and how bad the world is because she can't have a baby. Burning through two marriages and other relationships suggest this is a real problem for her and she probably needs some help processing. Mother saying it is insulting to suggest adopting is also loony - nobody can understand the OP's twin better than the OP, who has exactly the same problem. Sounds like some unexplored / buried issues in all three. A really sad situation and I wish them all greater happiness in their lives, however that is to come about.
Alexandra 4 months ago
OP's sister doesn't need kids, she needs therapy. It's irresponsible to have a child while your mental health is that impaired.
Onan Hag All 3 months ago
As an adopted person, I'm very glad she is not considering an adoption. She'd be a shite parent.
Earonn - 4 months ago
I mean, if she doesn't even consider adoption, she doesn't want a child, she wants a birth experience. But children aren't adventure packages. Or, even worse, sis believes in this "bloodline" shyte, in which case she's even less ready to become a mother. Also, what's insensitive about bringing up adoption? "just" might be not quite the best wording, because it's a hard path, too, but can we please understand that people don't always have our distance and time to formulate the one-answer-that-is-best-and-can-t-be-criticised ?
Gozer LeGozerian 4 months ago
They don't want recycled kids. They are obsessed with their own DNA as if it holds some sort of elevated importance to humankind. These kinds of people really shouldn't be allowed to breed, they are seriously unstable.
Load More Replies...
Nils Skirnir 3 months ago
What century is this? Really. Don’t know if it’s religion or what, but folks are insane about this.
Gozer LeGozerian 4 months ago
Go to d@mn therapy, good grief. I will never understand the desire to breed this hard. People are crazy.
Sparkle 3 months ago
Until you can't get pregnant don't assume therapy is a fix all. Part of you always feels broken and it kills you when people get pregnant but you smile and congratulate them.
Load More Replies...
Roberta Surprenant 3 months ago
Null point, sister would never pass screening to become adoptive parent by a legitimate agency.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago
I'm adopted. I've mentioned this before. I have never viewed my adoptive parents and sister as anything *except* my parents/sister. They ARE my family. I personally will never fully understand why some people "have" to have a child that is their own DNA when they claim they just want a child/want to be a parent/have a family. I accept that that viewpoint is valid, but I don't understand it. If you actually want a child/family that badly, you'll adopt/foster. But I accept that some people cannot view adopted children as actually "their children". That being said, OP's sister struggled with conceiving for years and never carried a child to term. She is in a lot of pain emotionally and mentally, and the MANNER in which OP brought up adoption was insensitive and hurtful. OP was tired of hearing her sister talk about it, so OP got snippy. She could/should have brought up the possibility of adoption at ANY other point, perhaps talking to her sister alone, etc.
Uncle Panda 4 months ago (edited)
I don't know if happens to humans but chickens and ducks can get 'broody' - locked in a reproductive mode they can't satisfy. They can become so distressed you can see it in their behavior and grooming. The last time I had an issue, I set her up a nest with a few eggs from another hen and she was able to break free (of the hormones, I guess). She was a pretty good mom once things hatched out.
Darshan 3 months ago
OHH MAGA. Please checkin to the nearest mental health service centre Old Mcdonald...
Load More Replies... Paul C 4 months ago
I can see both sides of this - it was an insensitive comment to a woman that has spent 15 years or so trying to have a baby. I'm sure she would have considered adopting if that was something she would have been happy with. I can also see how it would be draining on someone, who has the identical problem, to have someone always saying "woe is me" and how bad the world is because she can't have a baby. Burning through two marriages and other relationships suggest this is a real problem for her and she probably needs some help processing. Mother saying it is insulting to suggest adopting is also loony - nobody can understand the OP's twin better than the OP, who has exactly the same problem. Sounds like some unexplored / buried issues in all three. A really sad situation and I wish them all greater happiness in their lives, however that is to come about.
Alexandra 4 months ago
OP's sister doesn't need kids, she needs therapy. It's irresponsible to have a child while your mental health is that impaired.
Onan Hag All 3 months ago
As an adopted person, I'm very glad she is not considering an adoption. She'd be a shite parent.
Earonn - 4 months ago
I mean, if she doesn't even consider adoption, she doesn't want a child, she wants a birth experience. But children aren't adventure packages. Or, even worse, sis believes in this "bloodline" shyte, in which case she's even less ready to become a mother. Also, what's insensitive about bringing up adoption? "just" might be not quite the best wording, because it's a hard path, too, but can we please understand that people don't always have our distance and time to formulate the one-answer-that-is-best-and-can-t-be-criticised ?
Gozer LeGozerian 4 months ago
They don't want recycled kids. They are obsessed with their own DNA as if it holds some sort of elevated importance to humankind. These kinds of people really shouldn't be allowed to breed, they are seriously unstable.
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 3 months ago
What century is this? Really. Don’t know if it’s religion or what, but folks are insane about this.
Gozer LeGozerian 4 months ago
Go to d@mn therapy, good grief. I will never understand the desire to breed this hard. People are crazy.
Sparkle 3 months ago
Until you can't get pregnant don't assume therapy is a fix all. Part of you always feels broken and it kills you when people get pregnant but you smile and congratulate them.
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 3 months ago
Null point, sister would never pass screening to become adoptive parent by a legitimate agency.
You May Like Woman Refuses To Host Thanksgiving For 30 People, Pushy Family Still Tries To Guilt-Trip Her Into It Woman Finds Out Her Biological Mom Is A Radio Host, Secretly Calls To Get Mom Advice From Her Couple Trick Clingy MIL By Changing Their Vacation Plans Last Minute: "Cue The Waterworks And Victimization"
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Gabija Palšytė
Mantas Kačerauskas
Related on Bored Panda
32
22