“I’m Tired Of Being Guilted Into Unpaid Labor”: Family Demands Sacrifice At Sister’s Convenience

Many adults in the U.S. still live with their parents. Recent statistics show that about 1 in 3 people aged 18 to 34 are living with at least one parent. Many do it so they can get on their feet financially, but their families sometimes have other plans.

This young person’s family wanted them to keep babysitting their older sister’s kid. Although they wanted to make plans for the future and keep job hunting, the family expected them to dedicate all their time to their niece and nephew. When they confronted the family about it, a huge argument broke out.

The author, u/Flowing_River222, kindly agreed to tell Bored Panda more about their complicated relationship with their sister, and even gave a little update. Read our conversation with them below!

A young person asked their sister to be paid for their babysitting services

Woman looking stressed while holding crying baby, illustrating conflict over babysitting payment with sister.

Image credits: Prostock-studio / envato (not the actual photo)

They felt like they didn’t have time to job hunt: “My time and energy matter”

Screenshot of a Reddit post where a non-binary person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Person shares frustration about frequently babysitting niece and nephew without prior notice or payment.

Text about person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, expressing frustration over unpaid full-time care.

Person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, facing harsh family reactions and cruelty.

Text post about feeling conflicted over asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, facing guilt and unpaid labor.

Image credits: Flowing_River222

Many commenters validated the young person’s feelings and advised them to get a job as soon as possible

Reddit user discusses getting paid babysitting niece and nephew while sister reacts with cruelty in a heated family exchange.

Screenshot of an online discussion about a person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew and a family conflict.

Reddit comment advising treating job hunting seriously while asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing being paid for babysitting niece and nephew and family reaction.

Reddit comment advising on asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew amid sister's selfish behavior.

Text comment about babysitting niece and nephew, discussing payment and a sister's harsh reaction to the request.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing someone asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew and being gaslighted.

Comment discussing babysitting payment dispute with niece and nephew, highlighting sibling conflict and unfair treatment issues.

Comment discussing being paid for babysitting niece and nephew, family expectations, and financial independence.

Comment advice suggesting to avoid babysitting niece and nephew by leaving the house to stay flexible for job applications.

Comment suggesting getting a job while emphasizing sister should pay for babysitting niece and nephew childcare.

Comment explaining why person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew is justified, highlighting boundaries and compensation.

Comment advising to avoid being at home and suggesting visiting a library to apply for babysitting jobs.

Comment suggesting to find a job elsewhere like a library or Starbucks with coffee and free wifi.

Comment discussing entitlement and refusal to babysit niece and nephew without pay amid family conflict and cruelty.

Comment discussing the struggle of asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew despite family conflict.

Comment discussing the challenges and criticism of asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Woman asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, arguing with her sister in a kitchen setting.

Image credits: Pressmaster / envato (not the actual photo)

When the person confronted their sister, she insulted them with incredibly hurtful words

Person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, family conflict over childcare payment on Reddit update post.

Person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, sister reacts with anger after boundary setting discussion.

Text excerpt showing a heated family argument after asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Shocked person recalls sister’s cruel response after asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Text excerpt showing a person describing their sister's deliberately cruel behavior after asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Person explaining struggles of babysitting niece and nephew while balancing job interviews and family criticism.

Text about person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, with family conflict over fairness and expectations.

Person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, expressing feelings of being undervalued by sister and family.

Person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, setting boundaries despite sister’s harsh reaction.

Image credits: Flowing_River222

The Redditor was ready to help their parents around the house, but not to become a free babysitter

The author tells Bored Panda that when they moved back in with their parents, they tried to establish some boundaries. “First, I told them that even though I live under their roof now, I am still my own adult and I can do what I please (within reason, of course).”

“Second, I told them that I wasn’t going to be there for more then six months. I’ve only been living with them for four, so, I said that if they needed any sort of compensation for me living with them just to wait until I find a job and then I would start paying back whatever they believed I owed them.”

u/Flowing_River222 tells us they are expected to help around the house. “I do the dishes daily, and I ALWAYS make sure that they know if they need help with anything to just let me know,” the Redditor clarifies.

However, that was a promise the author made to their parents, not the sister. That’s why they feel it’s not fair that they’re being asked to help out with childcare so much. “[She] thinks that since I’m at home and ‘Don’t have anything better to do’ that she can just drop her kids off whenever she pleased.”

“She hangs out with [friends] and goes clubbing so often,” the Redditor says about their sister

Young woman in a black dress holding a phone, at a nighttime event with people in the background showing mixed emotions.

Image credits: Abstral Official / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Every mother needs time off, but the Redditor is concerned about how often the sister uses them for babysitting. “Before I posted, she was dropping them off almost every day. And when I say every day, I mean almost every day. The reason why she was dropping them off every day was because she has many friends, which I’m happy that she does.”

“But she hangs out with them and goes clubbing so often that I’m worried about her, because there have been multiple times when I have tried to contact her when she’s out about her kids and she RARELY answered neither calls/texts.”

The Redditor also worries because the sister would leave her kids with her parents for long periods of time. According to u/Flowing_River222, the niece and nephew once stayed at their grandparents’ for a week. And the mom dropped them off “without any notice beforehand.”

It didn’t take long for the sister to start relying on u/Flowing_River222 for babysitting regularly. The Redditor tells Bored Panda that the mom started dropping off her kids at her parents’ house for the sibling to babysit about two weeks after they moved back in.

“At first she would come over with her kids so I could spend time with them, but then it suddenly would transform into whole days (many times multiple days). Again, without any sort of notice,” the author emphasizes.

The only way the author would be able to forgive their sister is if she sincerely apologized

The Redditor does have a positive update: they have been accepted for the remote admin position they wrote about in their last post. “I just had my first day [last week] and it’s actually going really well so far. I hope that I can work my way up in the ranks and keep on the up and up.”

u/Flowing_River222 hopes that, despite this conflict, they can keep a good relationship with their parents. “They have always been there for me when I needed them. Sure, do they mess up and say the wrong things sometimes? Yes. But they always try to work on themselves because they are really big on growth and listening on what people have to say.”

When it comes to the sister, the Redditor is hesitant. The most important condition for further contact would be an apology. “I am sure that I don’t want to reach out to her until she apologizes to me because what she said was cruel and hurtful,” the author says.

u/Flowing_River222 also shares they’ve struggled with mental health during their teenage years and even had to be hospitalized for it. That’s why the sister’s words during the argument hurt them so much.

“My sister knows what to say to hurt me. And what she said hurt me in a way I don’t know how to forgive,” the Redditor is honest. “I don’t want to talk to her (at all if I can) until she reaches out and apologizes to me.”

“Your parents wanted you home for your sister’s convenience,” people pointed out after reading about the fight

Online discussion about person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, facing family conflict and harsh responses.

Screenshot of a discussion where a person asks to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, sparking a heated family debate.

Online discussion about person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew amid sister's harsh reaction

Comment advising never to babysit again if the sister tries to leave kids without warning, related to babysitting niece and nephew.

Comment on a forum post discussing consequences of not being paid for babysitting niece and nephew, highlighting family conflict.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing setting boundaries and asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Reddit comment showing a person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, facing sister's harsh reaction.

Commenter shares personal experience on respect and family conflict after asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Comment discussing a person’s sister owing an apology and the need for emotional safety after a babysitting payment dispute.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew and facing sister's cruel response.

Screenshot of a forum comment advising to save money and limit contact after asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Comment advising to avoid babysitting niece and nephew by learning new skills through online classes to prevent being obligated to watch children.

Comment discussing a person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, with mention of sister's harsh reaction.

Comment about person asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew, with advice on financial independence and job pay.

Text from a social media comment suggesting pretending to be dead when asked to babysit niece and nephew again.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing emotional abuse after asking to be paid for babysitting niece and nephew.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!