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36 Brutally Honest Confessions From People Who Are Keeping Secrets From Their Significant Others
Relationships are built on love, trust, communication and apparently a shocking number of carefully guarded secrets. They could be harmless little lies to full-on double lives, but everyone seems to have at least one thing they hope their significant other never finds out about.
So when people online were asked to share the secrets they’re hiding from their partners, the responses surprisingly went from oddly wholesome to unbelievably tumultuous. Either way, these answers prove that even the happiest couples can have a few things left unsaid.
More info: Reddit
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#1
That her failing business has completely depleted my 5-figure personal savings account, along with most of my income. And because she won’t cut her losses and continues to run said failing business, it makes me question her judgment on life decisions and makes me apprehensive to want to start a family with her, when I can barely support just us both at the moment.
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#2
That I really don’t like his family. The worse thing is they are decent people but about them doesn’t sit right with me… I can’t quite place it even after 6 years of being married. I talk to them and engage with them but I find myself always on the guard when I do..
I love my husband too much to disrespect them.
#3
My friend group talked about doing a karaoke night. I was like "I absolutely won't participate."
But secretly every time I drive alone I've been trying to learn every inflection of Lose Yourself by Eminem. I haven't told anyone because I think it would be funny to bust it out without telling my wife the plan beforehand.
Not every secret in a relationship comes from a lack of love or commitment. As explained by Inspired Pearls, people often hide things because of fear, shame, embarrassment, or a desire to avoid conflict. In many cases, secrecy develops as a learned coping mechanism.
Someone who previously experienced criticism, rejection, or punishment for being honest may begin withholding information automatically, even in a happy and stable relationship. What looks suspicious from the outside can sometimes be rooted in self-protection rather than malicious intent.
#4
I know something about a friend of his but im bound by HIPAA. The most i can do is ask if hes heard from this friend lately, maybe drop hints about reaching out.
Otherwise, we dont keep secrets. We have an absolutely honesty policy for everything that, ya know, i dont learn at work and could end with me fired and facing charges.
Apatheist 14 minutes ago
HIPAA stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996. It is a US federal law designed to protect sensitive patient health information from being disclosed without consent, while also setting standards for electronic healthcare transactions, insurance portability, and reducing healthcare fraud.
#5
That I am positively suffering in our relationship right now and struggle every moment to maintain my calm.
She seems happy. So I just fight my b**t off to appear happy.
#6
Their rage has caused me to fall out of love. Sorry for being emo.
Privacy and secrecy are often confused, but Couples Academy highlights an important distinction between the two. Privacy is a healthy boundary that helps individuals maintain identity and independence within a relationship, such as having personal space, private thoughts, or confidential responsibilities.
Secrecy, on the other hand, is driven by fear of consequences and involves deliberately withholding information that could affect trust. While privacy supports balance and respect, secrecy can quietly create emotional distance when information is hidden to avoid discomfort or judgment.
#7
Haven't told her what the doctor said. Stage 4 but organ function is ok. It's been 3 months. Things are the best they've ever been. I know she's going to be sad later so why ruin it before I have to.
Jujy108 1 hour ago
You need to tell her. My husband didn’t tell me how serious his diagnosis was until after his so‑called “preventative” surgery. I was devastated when I learned, only afterward, that he’d been given a five‑percent chance of survival. He was lucky and beat the odds, and I’m grateful every day that he’s still here. But I still feel flashes of anger when I think about how I never had the chance to support him through it. He wanted to spare me the worry, but if he had died, I would have been left trying to understand how it all happened without ever being given the truth. No one deserves to carry that kind of shock alone.
#8
That I got with him because he reminded me of someone else that I used to know. But now I have got to know him I love him for him.
Even seemingly harmless lies can have a bigger impact than people realize. Research highlighted by Psychology Today suggests that so-called white lies, small untruths meant to spare feelings or avoid awkward conversations, can gradually weaken intimacy by creating what psychologists call a "counterfeit self".
Many of the most commonly hidden topics in relationships involve finances, attraction to other people, mental health struggles, dissatisfaction, or personal history. While some secrets stay small forever, others can quietly grow into larger emotional barriers when left unspoken for too long.
#11
That I’ll never forgive him. Ever.
But I’m not just his wife. I’m also his caretaker. He’s sick. I won’t leave him. I do love him. But some things you don’t come back from. .
#12
When I was separated from my husband, on how much money I spent in a romance scam. 🤦🏼♀️. I won’t get into detail but everything I need was right in front of me. Everything that I was wanting, verbal attention so to speak was right in front of me… (my husband). I wish I can take back those months and wish it never happened.
We’re happy now, worked it out but I sometimes I think I was wanting a separation bc I thought the “new guy” was better when in reality that wasn’t the case. 😞.
Even the way people define trust can influence what gets kept hidden in the first place. The Gottman Institute notes that trust is not a single idea but a multi-dimensional concept shaped by different expectations around loyalty, emotional safety, and reliability.
Because partners may prioritize different aspects of trust, misunderstandings can emerge even when both people feel they are being faithful to the relationship in their own way. What one person considers harmless discretion, another may interpret as a breach of trust, which helps explain why certain things are kept unspoken even in otherwise stable relationships.
#13
How deeply I admire his ability to do things that I think are frustrating or boring or uncomfortable.
Conversely, how much rage it causes me when he can't apply the same determination to other things that I think should be much easier.
It can stay a secret though, because the end result is that I get to be half of a power couple, we complement each other in immeasurable ways.
#14
The first weekend he was away on an 11 month deployment to Iraq, I went out with two guy friends from grad school to take my mind off of things. I took two sips of my drink, felt weird, then passed out. They had to come get me from the women’s bathroom and carry me like a baby home. My legs did not work and I was throwing up blood. I couldn’t move for days. My husband didn’t need any stress on top of his work up to deployment, so I kept it to myself. My guy friends saved me that night.
#15
That I really don’t want anything to do with his family after what they’ve put me through, and what he went through as a child. I tolerate them but it eats at me inside to deal with them. There is no genuine relationship or respect that I feel from them, so I just reciprocate the effort that’s given (or lack there of).
Kate Johnson 17 minutes ago
Yeah, I'd be slowing fading out on that relationship and encouraging him to do the same.
Most secrets in relationships aren’t always dramatic betrayals or life-altering lies, sometimes they’re just weird habits, guilty pleasures, tiny deceptions, or thoughts people would rather keep to themselves forever. However, as these confessions prove, once people get anonymous access to the internet, absolutely nothing stays bottled up for long.
Not every hidden truth carries the same weight because as you can see, some are harmless and hilarious, others are just awkward, but a few sure are serious enough to leave you wondering how the relationship is still intact. Do you have a secret you’ve never told your significant other, or do you think complete honesty is the only way a relationship can truly work?
#16
That Im falling out of love because of the fights and the constant gaslighting / victim behavior / pressure for wedding / rude assumptions.
#17
I’ve ordered a book called “why I love you” where you can write all the little things you love about them. I’m going to write in it, fill all the pages (because I can), and then put it somewhere he will find it. He’s been having a hard time recently, and I want him to remember that he is loved.
#18
Im trying really really hard to recover from my eating disorder of almost 20 years, just so i can make sure i can live the longest and healthiest life with him.
#19
How depressed i truly am. Not to the point of harming myself, but i really should talk to someone.
#20
That i might be pregnant. Still to early too test but I will soon.
ETA: this is a wanted pregnancy if I am in fact pregnant.
#21
I drink almost every single night secretly and am struggling to stop and carry so much shame about it.
#22
That I like pina colada's.
#23
That I am done with the relationship but I feel guilty that I can’t make it work.
#24
That every day if I mess up even a little I think about hurting myself. (I have BPD) I don’t tell him my dark thoughts because he said he has never had any and he doesn’t understand people who want to end themselves. He said he would never and could never. So I’m so scared he would judge me because these thoughts are constant for me.
#25
The only secret I'm keeping is how much awful gas I'm having this pregnancy- and trust me, he wouldn't want to know anyways.
#29
I love pickles too.
My husband absolutely loves pickles. It's his favorite, I pretend I don't like them so when we go out to eat I will pick them off my plate and give them to him, he wouldn't accept extra pickles from me if he knew I liked them too.
#30
That I already ordered the funny T shirt he wants and it will be here tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be home when the package is delivered so I can squirrel it away and surprise him with it later. .
#31
It was me who farted in the car and not our toddler.
#34
I knew the gender of our second child before he was born. We had agreed not to find out beforehand to keep it a surprise just like the first child, but I accidentally saw it on the ultrasound and didn't tell my husband. He will never know that I knew.
#35
Nothing. It doesn't click in my brain that she could really be that 'significant' if I were hiding secrets from her.
I was married for 41 years, to the same woman. Honesty and openness between us was paramount. We each had access to absolutely everything the other had. To include knowing an passwords, PIN numbers, and user names. We each had access to the other's social media. Etc. We didn't even have separate friends. To be friend of one meant you have to accept and be friends with the other. We did not go out separately except for a few rare occasions. Such as when I'd tell her I'd take care of the house and kids, hand her a wad of cash, and tell her to call one of her girl friends, go get a hotel room somewhere with a swimming pool, hot tub, etc. And take a couple days off from being a wife and mother. Something I'd do a few times a year.
As far as my past, if she asked I answered, honestly For my part I never once asked her about her dating past, I wasn't interested. Although in the course of living together for so long I did learn about it. during normal conversation she'd mention something time to time. I did know 3 of her ex boyfriends, as they remained friends of hers and became friends of mine.
#36
We just put all secrets on the table and I’m still feeling the urge to throw up. I was so….In the dark! I’m trying everything to hold it together, but I feel like just ending it.
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