Relative Upset Their Niece Planned A Destination Wedding On A Sunday Night, Tells Her Off, And The Internet’s Having None Of It
As you know, the road to hell is paved almost exclusively with good intentions, and if someone demands something from you, motivating their request solely by caring for other people, it is likely that they are trying to manipulate you. Especially if they are older relatives, who, of course, always know better how to do the right thing in literally any situation.
More often than not, this concern for the well-being of others is based on ordinary personal motives. But after all, people are ashamed to seem selfish, so they skillfully disguise their selfishness under prudence. But one has only not to follow their lead, as this mask immediately flies off, and a usual selfish person appears.
As, for example, it was in the situation described in this very post in the AITA Reddit community, which gained around 7.3K upvotes and more than 1.5K various replies. Remarkably, the author of the original post was precisely the manipulator, who could not even get why they were, after all, wrong.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster was invited to their niece’s destination wedding which had to be held on Sunday
Image credits: Robert Kinter ( not the actual image)
So here is how it was. The Original Poster’s niece invited all her friends and relatives to her destination wedding, which was supposed to take place about three hours from the city where the OP lives. The problem, from the OP’s point of view, was that the wedding was scheduled for Sunday – so they would have to skip their work on the next day.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
The OP wasn’t happy to skip work on the next day so they RSVP’d “no”
The OP admits that they would not like to skip work at all, so they decided to get the opinion of their relatives. The OP’s son and his girlfriend both said they would go anyway – although the OP begged them to refuse, claiming that the niece was doing everything wrong and it would just be a waste of money.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
The son just said that he would take a day off at work, but the OP didn’t like that. They had RSVP’d no, but still they could not help but email the bride that it was completely wrong and disrespectful for her guests to schedule a wedding at such an inconvenient time and place.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
In a phone call, the OP tried to convince their niece to reschedule the ceremony
The niece called the OP and apologized for the inconvenience, and also asked if they were sure they would not be able to attend the ceremony. The OP, apparently, felt weak and began to demand that she reschedule the wedding. The niece, in response, stated this is a special date for her and her fiancé, so they are not going to change anything anyway – although they understand it will be rather inconvenient for some guests to come.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic ( not the actual image )
In response, the OP claimed the niece simply does not respect any of the guests and relatives, that she and the groom will end up having no more than ten guests at their ceremony, so this is actually outrageous, as the girl is neglecting the comfort and convenience of her guests due to some special little date of hers.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
The relatives ended up with an argument as the OP behaved just like an entitled person
Of course, the bride could not stand such a turn of events. She, in angry and sometimes curse words, stated that this was just a matter for her and her fiancé – and since the OP refused to come, then let them sit at home and not interfere with their judgments.
Image credits: u/Efficient-Key-7476
Everybody, even the OP’s own son, supported the bride and told the OP that they crossed the line
Now it was the OP’s turn to get angry – they called their sister and complained about her daughter’s rudeness. True, even here everything did not turn out the way the OP expected as the sister fully backed her daughter. Moreover, the OP’s son also said that they crossed the line and acted like a real jerk.
Image credits: Tony Alter ( not the actual image)
Commenters unanimously noted that it’s not the OP’s business so they just need to get over themselves
Of course, the OP was not supported by the people in the comments either. They almost unanimously noted that this is their niece’s wedding, and she just sets her own rules. If the OP has already refused to attend the ceremony, then this will not affect their life in any way. So they just need to get over themselves and be better.
One of the commenters said that they also had their wedding on Sunday. First, it’s cheaper, and second, as they’re Jews, they couldn’t get married on Saturday. So basically it’s none of the OP’s business anyway, and all they can do in this situation is to send their regrets and just move along instead of being completely entitled and manipulative.
We’re pretty sure you already have an opinion on this tale, so please let us know in the comments as soon as possible. And if you also had to deal with entitled relatives – just tell us how it was and how it all ended.
I have never heard a wedding called a destination wedding just because it is outside of one's main city.
YTA. If you don't give enough of a f**k about the wedding to take a day off, why are you upset you can't go?
Oh no taking ONE day off work!? The HORROR! hell my fam n i take a week off for vacations. A day is NOTHING.
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Yep..She's definitely TA. I've gone to weddings on several different days of the week. My friend got married on a Sunday clear across the country from me, and I still made it and didn't complain even though I had to take Monday off to accommodate it. My workplace won't implode because I miss a day, lol.
You scared me! When you said “she” I thought you meant the bride! For some reason I imagined OP as a man, but I didn’t notice if it was mentioned. I either have a bias where I consider all ungendered individuals masculine or it’s because I have all uncles and few aunts.
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My best friend from high school got married on a Monday evening in a town 5 hours from where I live. My husband couldn't get two days off at that time, so we didn't go! But we didn't call her to complain about her choice of day either because it had NOTHING to do with us! Definitely YTA.
Imagine the audacity of becoming offended when being invited to a party. And then trying to get other people not to go to it!
My parents got married on a Thursday in 1951 on the island that my mom grew up on. It was close to the main city in the area but had to be accessed via a ferry. Some people missed that last ferry for the night and had to catch the morning one to get to work on Friday. My parents had the weekend as their honeymoon since my dad left to go to medical school in a different state in the middle of the country. They were married 59 years 363 days when my mom passed away.
Wow. So the bride and groom got scolded by OP for choosing a date special to them rather than thinking of the guests? Good on OP. I mean, who do they think they are? Do they really believe that the bride and groom are the most important people on their wedding day? Why can't they plan better to accommodate the needs of guests, and... Ooops, gotta stop that, the sarcasm alarm is blaring and giving me a headache. I mean seriously, they've chosen a date which is special to THEM. They've chosen the destination, invited guests knowing that perhaps some might not be able to make it, but hoping those who care for them will be able to celebrate with them. Sounds like they will be better off without OP there. Definitely YTA.
Red flag when the poster decided to try and influence ("pleading...waste of time and money.." son's and his girlfriend's decision. Almost wondering if one of the reasons the couple chose to get married on Sunday was to avoid having this ray of sunshine be present on their special day. I'm all for ensuring you are a good hostess, but this is ridiculous. The poster could have attended part of the ceremonies and left earlier. I doubt the wedding was planned at the last minute, so the poster had plenty of time to make arrangements about work: Swap shifts, make up hours during the week or work on the Saturday, etc.
You know what, I had the same thought 🤣. I'm pretty sure they chose a date that meant something to them but with the additionnal benefit "well, the ones that are going to be upset about it won't come and we won't miss them ."
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There's nothing wrong with Sunday weddings. mine was a huge hit and it was on a sunday.
There’s always one guest who calls you up and tries to get you to change a part of your wedding to suit *them* (In my case it was the ahole who wanted me to rescind my ‘no kids or babies’ rule. She got really offensive)
My father in law is very appearance conscious and was really, deeply unhappy that our otherwise totally traditional wedding, in a church no less, had gargoyles for the bride and groom on the cake topper. Lost his mind. But I'm the one who bought the ridiculously expensive cake, so the gargoyles stayed. And he got over it.
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These people think they're the main character in everyone's lives. In reality they're barely an extra in the background. Nobody gives a flip if you attend the wedding or if you think it should be on a different day.
Good grief, and the bride was being SO nice about it too! I'd have blown up as well if I'd told someone hey it's okay, I understand that you can't make it no hard feelings, only to have them throw it back in my face. This person sounds like a right nasty piece of work.
Well then, you also can't have a wedding on a Saturday, because some people work on Sundays. And it can't be Friday because some people work Saturdays. And it can't be Thursday...
and then you cant have it on that date because that is when *some person close to me* died. and you cant have that date becase that day I broke up with *my gilrfriend* and you cant have that day....
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Our Indian weddings are between 2-3 days and is a joyous occasion and our families eagerly look forward, plan for months in advance as if it is their own children wedding... And keep talking for many months... till the next.... While the dates and venue would get fixed convenient to majority or the those closest but there would always be someone important who cannot attend...may be age, job, sickness or another wedding etc, which is quite understandable ... One can't please or play for all
That sounds lovely. And I think the wedding clothes in India are nicer, too. I wore the traditional clothing for my wedding, and I'm not sorry because it mattered to my family and reminded me of other weddings I'd gone to, but a bit more color would have made it feel more like a celebration.
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I seriously hope this is satire or just a scenario thing. Otherwise, yep, big time YTA.
Wow. This entitled relative deserves to be cut off from the the family until they grow up and learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. The niece deserves a HUGE apology. My own niece just got married a little under two weeks ago (on a Saturday l, OKAY OP?!) and my mom and I went because we wanted to be supportive even though the wedding was 2000 miles away (because my niece lives about 2000 miles away) and the travel arrangements were anything but cheap for us. OP needs to stfu, for real.
I eloped because my family is full of people like the OP. My mother knew there was a possibility of it happening and gave her blessing. Her payback was to announce our marriage to everyone that she knew so we wouldn't get a chance to celebrate it with anyone ourselves. YTA 100%
>>Giggle<< Not only did I get married on a Sunday, I got Married on Halloween! lol..at least it wasn't a destination lol.. there were less than 15 people present. It was perfect for us. Y'all do you!
Oh, hey, us too! And yeah, turnout was low, but it wasn't a fancy wedding anyway since nobody's parents were paying and husband and I aren't exactly well off. We had great fun and only really regretted it early on when kids kept knocking on the door during our anniversary dinner.
Load More Replies... Destination wedding three hours away? I had relatives drive farther, because we got married in the city we lived in and they didn't live near us. That was not a destination wedding. And I got married on a Sunday afternoon. Yes, some people were unhappy and I'm sorry they were. But all of those people were ones I hadn't seen in literal years, and most of them didn't even send a sorry can't make it. And they didn't know we were trying to get a venue as soon as possible because at the time we were worried my father in law had cancer so we didn't want to wait around. As for this ah in the story, she's definitely way way way way out of line. The way she spoke to the bride was wrong, but what pushes it over the top is discouraging her son from going because she was personally annoyed. Even the most judgemental of my family, and they're a judgmental and unforgiving bunch, would not do that.
OMG! I read this post with absolute disbelief! Who the hell would say stuff like this to anyone especially their neice ? Have the past couple of years taught us nothing? Or has it changed us into judgemental entitled shrews? Furthermore unless the wedding is going to take place in a foreign land why can't you go, ease up on the drinking and leave after dinner and a dance and still drag your butt out of bed the next day and go to work? YTA BIGTIME !
Wonder how many of the OP's coworkers wish she had gone and take the day off? Lol OP sounds like a real gem!
Two thoughts. 1. If it's a "destination" wedding and it was on a Saturday, wouldn't she need to take Friday off to attend? 2. My daughter had a true destination wedding on a Sunday; 90% of the people she invited attended ~ and half of those came to America from Belgium. The couple paid for the wedding themselves and the price difference between Saturday and Sundays was in the thousandS. Like a 5 grand difference plus the savings for Sunday night hotel rooms. Sunday is becoming the new Saturday for weddings.
It's only 3 hrs away. You can't tough out one late night for your niece and still make it to work? If not and your nieces wedding is not worth you taking a day off then you definitely TA..
We did a Sunday wedding- it was our dating anniversary and cheaper. My husband's family from Maine would have had to take a day off work to travel whichever day we had it. Nobody gave us a hard time about it
If this weren't fake, I'd say wait until she hears about Orthodox Christian weddings. They're always on Sundays.
No bridzilla here. Auntzilla, yes. I simply cannot believe the entitlement of this woman. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make it" would have sufficed nicely. SHe obviously never stopped to think that perhaps the date is meaningful to her niece. Actually, she never thought....except about her own convenience.
OP, you are mistaken. If you don't want to go, don't. If others want to go, butt out of their choices. Instead of getting so bent out of shape just go to the ceremony then head 3 hours drive home. Stop criticizing everybody else, stay out of their business. Your son and gf should go if they want to. 3 hour drive isn't bad, you just allow driving time to get home to sleep for work on Monday. Their wedding, their choice. Go or stay is your choice. Time to let it go.
YTA I mean first assuming they are going on honeymoon it would be cheaper to fly out on Monday early so helps them. Plus it's her day, that's why you send out notice in advance. Can normally request a day off from work with PTO for this reason. She was polite and said she understood you sound entitled
Besides all the ramifications of the story, what strikes me is A) how this person (and many others) are so quick to take offense and seem to think they can be offended at anything. B) the mindset that because her niece chose a date OP doesn't like, OP is entitled to give said niece a scolding.
YTA: its NOT your call and "you shouldnt think of your twos selves. You should think of others on your special day"?!?!? Its THEIR DAY not YOURS. they have 0 reason to accommodate ONE person as it seems EVERYONE ELSE can manage to take ONE DAY off work! Sorry but you sound like a crotchety old lady with an attitude like that! If you rvsp'd no LEAVE IT AT THAT. dont scold them for THEIR not your THEIR wedding choices
As I started reading, I was wondering why you wouldn't just take the next stay off work. And then I saw your son and and his fiancée decided to go and they're just gonna take Monday off work. You are the a*****e. Believe it or not, sweetheart, the whole world does not revolve around your ignorant selfish a*s. They have a right to decide when they want to get married and you don't get to b***h because they chose A-day that was not convenient for you.
I got married on a Thursday due to cost. I only talk to about 5 members of my family due to my dad leaving when I was 2 and I don't have contact with him or anyone on that side (their choice) my mums family are very self involved and kicked up a fuss about our choice of day ( it was a bank holiday so no work Friday Saturday Sunday or Monday. At first they all refused to go but eventually they reluctantly did. My side lived 15mins away but husband's family live 3 hours away but we're happy to attend. I was hurt by my family's reaction at we I was the first person to be married on my side since my parents and I felt attacked when they were all so angry about the day. There were a few more issues that came up but I won't go into that. Me and my husband have now been together 27 years and married for 17. Was also have 3 amazing children 19F 15m 11m
By the title I originally thought there was some religious or cultural reason why Sunday was offensive for some reason but because of a 3 hr drive? Travel early Sunday ( or Saturday if you don't mind paying for a hotel) attend the ceremony and reception for a bit, leave by 7 or so and you will be home early enough to sleep and go to work Monday. Not an issue unless you are annoyed just because you can't get drunk and party all night. Either way so entitled.
1. YTA. I took 3 days of vacation this year in order to attend weddings of my friends and you cannot take a (half) day off for your own niece. it is once in a lifetime situation 2. not in our city is not a destination wedding. try having a wedding in a different country 🤷🤦 dont you want them to do it at your street just for your convenience? 3. how can you bother the busy bride with your complaining about such a thing as a time and place? they are not oblidged to consult YOU about their wedding choices. you either go or you dont go. and your reason not to go is silly. you can easily go and leave earlier if you need to be at work the next day. even if the wedding was in the middle of the week it is their choice
I want my guests to be able to join 'our big day' so I'll try to choose a day that's easy to attend. But it's me, i don't have special day with my fiance, if i had one, i'd probably do same thing as op's niece. It's her wedding, not guests'.
So - she RSVP'd that she wouldn't be able to attend. Don't you generally RSVP about 6 weeks BEFORE the wedding? Which means she would have had plenty of time to make arrangements with her employer. Lady - you are DEFINITELY TA & I'm sure it would be so much more pleasant without you there.
I would usually hesitate to say, "It's the bride's special day, so she can have what she wants. Because a lot of brides do take that to the extreme. But there's a HUGE difference between wanting your bridesmaids to spend $2500 on dresses and parties or throwing a crying tantrum because the napkins are the wrong shade of lilac, and simply choosing to have your ceremony on a certain day, because it's special to you and your partner. There's no bridezilla here. OP is being unreasonable. If she doesn't want to go, that's fine. And she's definitely entitled to her own opinion. But trying to impose that opinion on others, i.e. BEGGING her son not to go, and lecturing the bride that she should accommodate everyone else, on HER special day? That's going WAY too far. Again, we're not talking about something simple like offering a vegetarian option for the dinner (and even that isn't mandatory, if the couple doesn't want to do it). We're talking about moving EVERYTHING to a completely different day, to appease ONE person's wittle feewings. OP, you are absolutely out of line, self-centered, and, honestly you sound a bit narcissistic. YTA.
Everyone is the a*****e here. From the entitled bride who expects the world to stop and revolve around her wedding day to the OP who is going out of their way to boycott a wedding that she wasn't planning on going to in the first place. I couldn't make my best friends wedding because of work and the only thing I demanded was to see all of the pictures of her magical day since I couldn't make it. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Their wedding is not made to cater to her convenience or tastes. Oh noes, the absolute horror she must have felt to discover that the world does not, in fact, revolve around her. OP is a Karen. And seriously, why would she need to "stay up late?" She admitted that the venue wasn't "too far away." She acts like her niece is having a midnight wedding or something-though, if she was, she'd be complaining about that, too. World's tiniest violin to her.
This wedding stuff is just nuts. I sincerely hope ppl plan to put as much effort into the marriage as they do the party 🙄
So let me get this straight she has off that day and it's not that far from where she lives just minor city . And she called the bride to ask her change the date because it's a work night. Lol most people don't have more than day off or weekends off such a hardcore Karen move, like if you too old stay up later that on you. Plus if they choose a popular church they probably didn't have a lot choices on days. Some churches book 6 months to years out.
I love these "AITA" that are basically "How does someone do not think about my comfort? People only think about themselves and what special for them. Can't they just think about me, for instance? I am the one who needs be thinked of, not them. Why arent they considering my well being and just about theirs? People are so shellfish nowadays".
Nah this has to be fake, wasn't even worded in a way that makes themselves out to be the victim
Yeah - totally YTA. And trying to sabotage their niece's wedding by convincing others to not go? OP needs therapy. Big time.
We drove 6 hours away for our wedding to have it in my mom’s town because she couldn’t travel and I wanted her at my wedding. Most of my friends could not/would not come because of the distance and jobs. 2 friends drove there and one made my cake and got it there. Mom’s friends made the food and all my immediate family made it. It was perfect.
YTA - not your wedding not your call. If you don't want to go - send a no rsvp. We got married on a Wednesday - public holiday - and, until we moved countries, we never had to work on our anniversary. It's not about you - it's about them and what they want. Get over yourself !!
She's the AH, for sure. Hopefully she reads those comments and self-reflects, but I somehow doubt it. I can't fathom her way of thinking of all, she sounds totally self-absorbed. She can't understand that someone else's wedding doesn't revolve around her, and even thinks it's her business to complain to the bride about it. She wasn't even planning to go anyway. Surely, nobody there will miss her.
So.. according to OP, you can't get married any other day than a Saturday because "but I work during the week" OP is definitely an a*****e.... also, I got married on a Sunday, at a "destination wedding" (I got married in Scotland, I live in Yorkshire, most of my immediate family are within the UK though, but my wife's family came over from Finland. It was a small wedding though, just immediate family, and we were going to cover the cost of flights from Finland, but my now father in law refused to let us lmao)
The wedding is for her niece and her fiancé, they don't care people can't show up, which probably brings their bills down by a lot as well and again, the day is for them, not any of the guests, I doubt she didn't know the wedding date long beforehand to plan a day off, literally everything she brought up is a specific -her- problem...
This must be fake. Suddenly the curse words. Who would admit they behaved this way. A nuts person.
I have two sisters exactly like this. I haven’t spoken to either of them in over a decade.
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The aunt is awful. I would take the day off for one of my niece's weddings. Destination, LOL. It's just out of town. And to try to get them to change it is selfish.
Finally one of these where YTA. Not everyone can have a wedding on a Friday or Saturday because it’s typically more expensive. If it is truly a “destination wedding“ then everyone is probably expected to take time off work to travel anyway. Also, YTA For trying to stage a boycott to your nieces wedding
My husband and I got married on a wednesday. No one we invited had any problems in coming to it, even though it was also four days before Christmas.
I agree and this is the first time I've been able to say YTA. Just say no and don't go. Simple as that. Why does she need to also get a lecture? You aren't her mother and I'm sure there was a reason she wanted it on that date (maybe they could only get the time off work for Sunday to Sunday so they have to work Saturday). It doesn't really matter the reason. She's not asking you to pay for it or to still send gifts or money. Just don't go. Now there's this whole drama that makes you both look not so good and there's going to be all this bad blood forever. Good job, bad Aunt!
I have never heard a wedding called a destination wedding just because it is outside of one's main city.
YTA. If you don't give enough of a f**k about the wedding to take a day off, why are you upset you can't go?
Oh no taking ONE day off work!? The HORROR! hell my fam n i take a week off for vacations. A day is NOTHING.
Load More Replies... Yep..She's definitely TA. I've gone to weddings on several different days of the week. My friend got married on a Sunday clear across the country from me, and I still made it and didn't complain even though I had to take Monday off to accommodate it. My workplace won't implode because I miss a day, lol.
You scared me! When you said “she” I thought you meant the bride! For some reason I imagined OP as a man, but I didn’t notice if it was mentioned. I either have a bias where I consider all ungendered individuals masculine or it’s because I have all uncles and few aunts.
Load More Replies... My best friend from high school got married on a Monday evening in a town 5 hours from where I live. My husband couldn't get two days off at that time, so we didn't go! But we didn't call her to complain about her choice of day either because it had NOTHING to do with us! Definitely YTA.
Imagine the audacity of becoming offended when being invited to a party. And then trying to get other people not to go to it!
My parents got married on a Thursday in 1951 on the island that my mom grew up on. It was close to the main city in the area but had to be accessed via a ferry. Some people missed that last ferry for the night and had to catch the morning one to get to work on Friday. My parents had the weekend as their honeymoon since my dad left to go to medical school in a different state in the middle of the country. They were married 59 years 363 days when my mom passed away.
Wow. So the bride and groom got scolded by OP for choosing a date special to them rather than thinking of the guests? Good on OP. I mean, who do they think they are? Do they really believe that the bride and groom are the most important people on their wedding day? Why can't they plan better to accommodate the needs of guests, and... Ooops, gotta stop that, the sarcasm alarm is blaring and giving me a headache. I mean seriously, they've chosen a date which is special to THEM. They've chosen the destination, invited guests knowing that perhaps some might not be able to make it, but hoping those who care for them will be able to celebrate with them. Sounds like they will be better off without OP there. Definitely YTA.
Red flag when the poster decided to try and influence ("pleading...waste of time and money.." son's and his girlfriend's decision. Almost wondering if one of the reasons the couple chose to get married on Sunday was to avoid having this ray of sunshine be present on their special day. I'm all for ensuring you are a good hostess, but this is ridiculous. The poster could have attended part of the ceremonies and left earlier. I doubt the wedding was planned at the last minute, so the poster had plenty of time to make arrangements about work: Swap shifts, make up hours during the week or work on the Saturday, etc.
You know what, I had the same thought 🤣. I'm pretty sure they chose a date that meant something to them but with the additionnal benefit "well, the ones that are going to be upset about it won't come and we won't miss them ."
Load More Replies... There's nothing wrong with Sunday weddings. mine was a huge hit and it was on a sunday.
There’s always one guest who calls you up and tries to get you to change a part of your wedding to suit *them* (In my case it was the ahole who wanted me to rescind my ‘no kids or babies’ rule. She got really offensive)
My father in law is very appearance conscious and was really, deeply unhappy that our otherwise totally traditional wedding, in a church no less, had gargoyles for the bride and groom on the cake topper. Lost his mind. But I'm the one who bought the ridiculously expensive cake, so the gargoyles stayed. And he got over it.
Load More Replies... These people think they're the main character in everyone's lives. In reality they're barely an extra in the background. Nobody gives a flip if you attend the wedding or if you think it should be on a different day.
Good grief, and the bride was being SO nice about it too! I'd have blown up as well if I'd told someone hey it's okay, I understand that you can't make it no hard feelings, only to have them throw it back in my face. This person sounds like a right nasty piece of work.
Well then, you also can't have a wedding on a Saturday, because some people work on Sundays. And it can't be Friday because some people work Saturdays. And it can't be Thursday...
and then you cant have it on that date because that is when *some person close to me* died. and you cant have that date becase that day I broke up with *my gilrfriend* and you cant have that day....
Load More Replies... Our Indian weddings are between 2-3 days and is a joyous occasion and our families eagerly look forward, plan for months in advance as if it is their own children wedding... And keep talking for many months... till the next.... While the dates and venue would get fixed convenient to majority or the those closest but there would always be someone important who cannot attend...may be age, job, sickness or another wedding etc, which is quite understandable ... One can't please or play for all
That sounds lovely. And I think the wedding clothes in India are nicer, too. I wore the traditional clothing for my wedding, and I'm not sorry because it mattered to my family and reminded me of other weddings I'd gone to, but a bit more color would have made it feel more like a celebration.
Load More Replies... I seriously hope this is satire or just a scenario thing. Otherwise, yep, big time YTA.
Wow. This entitled relative deserves to be cut off from the the family until they grow up and learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. The niece deserves a HUGE apology. My own niece just got married a little under two weeks ago (on a Saturday l, OKAY OP?!) and my mom and I went because we wanted to be supportive even though the wedding was 2000 miles away (because my niece lives about 2000 miles away) and the travel arrangements were anything but cheap for us. OP needs to stfu, for real.
I eloped because my family is full of people like the OP. My mother knew there was a possibility of it happening and gave her blessing. Her payback was to announce our marriage to everyone that she knew so we wouldn't get a chance to celebrate it with anyone ourselves. YTA 100%
>>Giggle<< Not only did I get married on a Sunday, I got Married on Halloween! lol..at least it wasn't a destination lol.. there were less than 15 people present. It was perfect for us. Y'all do you!
Oh, hey, us too! And yeah, turnout was low, but it wasn't a fancy wedding anyway since nobody's parents were paying and husband and I aren't exactly well off. We had great fun and only really regretted it early on when kids kept knocking on the door during our anniversary dinner.
Load More Replies... Destination wedding three hours away? I had relatives drive farther, because we got married in the city we lived in and they didn't live near us. That was not a destination wedding. And I got married on a Sunday afternoon. Yes, some people were unhappy and I'm sorry they were. But all of those people were ones I hadn't seen in literal years, and most of them didn't even send a sorry can't make it. And they didn't know we were trying to get a venue as soon as possible because at the time we were worried my father in law had cancer so we didn't want to wait around. As for this ah in the story, she's definitely way way way way out of line. The way she spoke to the bride was wrong, but what pushes it over the top is discouraging her son from going because she was personally annoyed. Even the most judgemental of my family, and they're a judgmental and unforgiving bunch, would not do that.
OMG! I read this post with absolute disbelief! Who the hell would say stuff like this to anyone especially their neice ? Have the past couple of years taught us nothing? Or has it changed us into judgemental entitled shrews? Furthermore unless the wedding is going to take place in a foreign land why can't you go, ease up on the drinking and leave after dinner and a dance and still drag your butt out of bed the next day and go to work? YTA BIGTIME !
Wonder how many of the OP's coworkers wish she had gone and take the day off? Lol OP sounds like a real gem!
Two thoughts. 1. If it's a "destination" wedding and it was on a Saturday, wouldn't she need to take Friday off to attend? 2. My daughter had a true destination wedding on a Sunday; 90% of the people she invited attended ~ and half of those came to America from Belgium. The couple paid for the wedding themselves and the price difference between Saturday and Sundays was in the thousandS. Like a 5 grand difference plus the savings for Sunday night hotel rooms. Sunday is becoming the new Saturday for weddings.
It's only 3 hrs away. You can't tough out one late night for your niece and still make it to work? If not and your nieces wedding is not worth you taking a day off then you definitely TA..
We did a Sunday wedding- it was our dating anniversary and cheaper. My husband's family from Maine would have had to take a day off work to travel whichever day we had it. Nobody gave us a hard time about it
If this weren't fake, I'd say wait until she hears about Orthodox Christian weddings. They're always on Sundays.
No bridzilla here. Auntzilla, yes. I simply cannot believe the entitlement of this woman. "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make it" would have sufficed nicely. SHe obviously never stopped to think that perhaps the date is meaningful to her niece. Actually, she never thought....except about her own convenience.
OP, you are mistaken. If you don't want to go, don't. If others want to go, butt out of their choices. Instead of getting so bent out of shape just go to the ceremony then head 3 hours drive home. Stop criticizing everybody else, stay out of their business. Your son and gf should go if they want to. 3 hour drive isn't bad, you just allow driving time to get home to sleep for work on Monday. Their wedding, their choice. Go or stay is your choice. Time to let it go.
YTA I mean first assuming they are going on honeymoon it would be cheaper to fly out on Monday early so helps them. Plus it's her day, that's why you send out notice in advance. Can normally request a day off from work with PTO for this reason. She was polite and said she understood you sound entitled
Besides all the ramifications of the story, what strikes me is A) how this person (and many others) are so quick to take offense and seem to think they can be offended at anything. B) the mindset that because her niece chose a date OP doesn't like, OP is entitled to give said niece a scolding.
YTA: its NOT your call and "you shouldnt think of your twos selves. You should think of others on your special day"?!?!? Its THEIR DAY not YOURS. they have 0 reason to accommodate ONE person as it seems EVERYONE ELSE can manage to take ONE DAY off work! Sorry but you sound like a crotchety old lady with an attitude like that! If you rvsp'd no LEAVE IT AT THAT. dont scold them for THEIR not your THEIR wedding choices
As I started reading, I was wondering why you wouldn't just take the next stay off work. And then I saw your son and and his fiancée decided to go and they're just gonna take Monday off work. You are the a*****e. Believe it or not, sweetheart, the whole world does not revolve around your ignorant selfish a*s. They have a right to decide when they want to get married and you don't get to b***h because they chose A-day that was not convenient for you.
I got married on a Thursday due to cost. I only talk to about 5 members of my family due to my dad leaving when I was 2 and I don't have contact with him or anyone on that side (their choice) my mums family are very self involved and kicked up a fuss about our choice of day ( it was a bank holiday so no work Friday Saturday Sunday or Monday. At first they all refused to go but eventually they reluctantly did. My side lived 15mins away but husband's family live 3 hours away but we're happy to attend. I was hurt by my family's reaction at we I was the first person to be married on my side since my parents and I felt attacked when they were all so angry about the day. There were a few more issues that came up but I won't go into that. Me and my husband have now been together 27 years and married for 17. Was also have 3 amazing children 19F 15m 11m
By the title I originally thought there was some religious or cultural reason why Sunday was offensive for some reason but because of a 3 hr drive? Travel early Sunday ( or Saturday if you don't mind paying for a hotel) attend the ceremony and reception for a bit, leave by 7 or so and you will be home early enough to sleep and go to work Monday. Not an issue unless you are annoyed just because you can't get drunk and party all night. Either way so entitled.
1. YTA. I took 3 days of vacation this year in order to attend weddings of my friends and you cannot take a (half) day off for your own niece. it is once in a lifetime situation 2. not in our city is not a destination wedding. try having a wedding in a different country 🤷🤦 dont you want them to do it at your street just for your convenience? 3. how can you bother the busy bride with your complaining about such a thing as a time and place? they are not oblidged to consult YOU about their wedding choices. you either go or you dont go. and your reason not to go is silly. you can easily go and leave earlier if you need to be at work the next day. even if the wedding was in the middle of the week it is their choice
I want my guests to be able to join 'our big day' so I'll try to choose a day that's easy to attend. But it's me, i don't have special day with my fiance, if i had one, i'd probably do same thing as op's niece. It's her wedding, not guests'.
So - she RSVP'd that she wouldn't be able to attend. Don't you generally RSVP about 6 weeks BEFORE the wedding? Which means she would have had plenty of time to make arrangements with her employer. Lady - you are DEFINITELY TA & I'm sure it would be so much more pleasant without you there.
I would usually hesitate to say, "It's the bride's special day, so she can have what she wants. Because a lot of brides do take that to the extreme. But there's a HUGE difference between wanting your bridesmaids to spend $2500 on dresses and parties or throwing a crying tantrum because the napkins are the wrong shade of lilac, and simply choosing to have your ceremony on a certain day, because it's special to you and your partner. There's no bridezilla here. OP is being unreasonable. If she doesn't want to go, that's fine. And she's definitely entitled to her own opinion. But trying to impose that opinion on others, i.e. BEGGING her son not to go, and lecturing the bride that she should accommodate everyone else, on HER special day? That's going WAY too far. Again, we're not talking about something simple like offering a vegetarian option for the dinner (and even that isn't mandatory, if the couple doesn't want to do it). We're talking about moving EVERYTHING to a completely different day, to appease ONE person's wittle feewings. OP, you are absolutely out of line, self-centered, and, honestly you sound a bit narcissistic. YTA.
Everyone is the a*****e here. From the entitled bride who expects the world to stop and revolve around her wedding day to the OP who is going out of their way to boycott a wedding that she wasn't planning on going to in the first place. I couldn't make my best friends wedding because of work and the only thing I demanded was to see all of the pictures of her magical day since I couldn't make it. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Their wedding is not made to cater to her convenience or tastes. Oh noes, the absolute horror she must have felt to discover that the world does not, in fact, revolve around her. OP is a Karen. And seriously, why would she need to "stay up late?" She admitted that the venue wasn't "too far away." She acts like her niece is having a midnight wedding or something-though, if she was, she'd be complaining about that, too. World's tiniest violin to her.
This wedding stuff is just nuts. I sincerely hope ppl plan to put as much effort into the marriage as they do the party 🙄
So let me get this straight she has off that day and it's not that far from where she lives just minor city . And she called the bride to ask her change the date because it's a work night. Lol most people don't have more than day off or weekends off such a hardcore Karen move, like if you too old stay up later that on you. Plus if they choose a popular church they probably didn't have a lot choices on days. Some churches book 6 months to years out.
I love these "AITA" that are basically "How does someone do not think about my comfort? People only think about themselves and what special for them. Can't they just think about me, for instance? I am the one who needs be thinked of, not them. Why arent they considering my well being and just about theirs? People are so shellfish nowadays".
Nah this has to be fake, wasn't even worded in a way that makes themselves out to be the victim
Yeah - totally YTA. And trying to sabotage their niece's wedding by convincing others to not go? OP needs therapy. Big time.
We drove 6 hours away for our wedding to have it in my mom’s town because she couldn’t travel and I wanted her at my wedding. Most of my friends could not/would not come because of the distance and jobs. 2 friends drove there and one made my cake and got it there. Mom’s friends made the food and all my immediate family made it. It was perfect.
YTA - not your wedding not your call. If you don't want to go - send a no rsvp. We got married on a Wednesday - public holiday - and, until we moved countries, we never had to work on our anniversary. It's not about you - it's about them and what they want. Get over yourself !!
She's the AH, for sure. Hopefully she reads those comments and self-reflects, but I somehow doubt it. I can't fathom her way of thinking of all, she sounds totally self-absorbed. She can't understand that someone else's wedding doesn't revolve around her, and even thinks it's her business to complain to the bride about it. She wasn't even planning to go anyway. Surely, nobody there will miss her.
So.. according to OP, you can't get married any other day than a Saturday because "but I work during the week" OP is definitely an a*****e.... also, I got married on a Sunday, at a "destination wedding" (I got married in Scotland, I live in Yorkshire, most of my immediate family are within the UK though, but my wife's family came over from Finland. It was a small wedding though, just immediate family, and we were going to cover the cost of flights from Finland, but my now father in law refused to let us lmao)
The wedding is for her niece and her fiancé, they don't care people can't show up, which probably brings their bills down by a lot as well and again, the day is for them, not any of the guests, I doubt she didn't know the wedding date long beforehand to plan a day off, literally everything she brought up is a specific -her- problem...
This must be fake. Suddenly the curse words. Who would admit they behaved this way. A nuts person.
I have two sisters exactly like this. I haven’t spoken to either of them in over a decade.
Load More Replies... The aunt is awful. I would take the day off for one of my niece's weddings. Destination, LOL. It's just out of town. And to try to get them to change it is selfish.
Finally one of these where YTA. Not everyone can have a wedding on a Friday or Saturday because it’s typically more expensive. If it is truly a “destination wedding“ then everyone is probably expected to take time off work to travel anyway. Also, YTA For trying to stage a boycott to your nieces wedding
My husband and I got married on a wednesday. No one we invited had any problems in coming to it, even though it was also four days before Christmas.
I agree and this is the first time I've been able to say YTA. Just say no and don't go. Simple as that. Why does she need to also get a lecture? You aren't her mother and I'm sure there was a reason she wanted it on that date (maybe they could only get the time off work for Sunday to Sunday so they have to work Saturday). It doesn't really matter the reason. She's not asking you to pay for it or to still send gifts or money. Just don't go. Now there's this whole drama that makes you both look not so good and there's going to be all this bad blood forever. Good job, bad Aunt!
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