“Am I A Jerk For Letting My Roommate Go Hungry Because They Cannot Understand How Food Works?”
When someone brings you a home-cooked meal, it should be enjoyed and appreciated, not thrown away in one swift motion. If the latter happens, food waste might not be the only problem.
Redditor u/ZealousidealFan8906 told the AITA community about falling out with their roommate because of such a situation. The roomie repeatedly asked for leftovers only to dispose of them soon after. The OP eventually refused to give any more food, but started to wonder if they’re a jerk for doing so, as the roommate said they were letting them starve.
Home-cooked meals take time and energy to prepare, which makes throwing them away—wasting more than just food
Image credits: vladans (not the actual photo)
This person repeatedly shared leftovers with their roommate, but refused to do so after seeing what they did with them
Image credits: borodai (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ZealousidealFan8906
People waste billions of tons of food every year in countries all over the world
The OP was understandably upset about Tammy throwing away the leftovers. They spent time, money, and effort cooking the meal, and the roommate sent it all down the drain. (Well, into the trash can, in this case.) By doing that, she disrespected the cook and definitely didn’t make the situation with food waste any better.
As a matter of fact, as much as one third of the food in the world is wasted. An astonishing 1.3 billion tons of it would have been suitable for human consumption. To put matters into perspective, it is the equivalent of nearly 1,500 Golden Gate Bridges (887,000 tons each) combined. The situation in the US is no better than the global one—40% of food in the country ends up not being used.
To make matters worse, 14% of it is wasted after harvesting before even reaching the shelves. Another 17% is disposed of in homes, stores, and restaurants. Solving this global problem could help alleviate the issue of world hunger, which currently affects nearly 10% of our population.
Image credits: stayhereforu (not the actual photo)
Such waste negatively affects the humankind as well as the planet, therefore, certain management strategies are created
More saddening statistics reveal that food waste has a strong negative impact not only on the human race, but on the planet as well. The quantity of CO2 it emits would be enough to make it the third largest emitter of greenhouse gasses, right after the US and China, if it was a country. In addition to that, it leads to wasting large amounts of water each year as well.
In order to tackle this problem, organizations are taking action to scale down the amounts they misuse or discard. Some of the ways to do that include reducing the surplus of generated food, donating it, and diverting scraps to animal feed or composting it.
Each person can contribute to minimizing such waste on their end. Steps as simple as planning your meals, storing the produce wisely, and paying attention to the food labeling can be enough to make a difference in the household. Trying to reduce it can also help to save money, which was one of the reasons the OP was so sensible about their food.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
People in the comments were unanimous about whether the OP is a jerk in the situation
Believe it or not, there's actually at least one "YTA" vote because OP gets money from their parents that they don't really "need". Sometimes it's fun to sort the AITA comments by "controversial" and see the trolls at work. (I'd vote NTA, for the record, it doesn't matter if OP has money to spare, wasting food, especially in the current climate - this was posted 3 days ago to Reddit - is criminal)
Who gets to decide if she "needs" the money and even if the doesn't, she is in no way obligated to provide for a roommate.
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Absolutely NTA. I *hate* seeing food wasted, particularly after I've spent a good amount of time preparing it.
I agree. We were raised to finish what was on our plates. I had a nephew come over and went to throw out 3/4 of an expensive ribeye steak. I stopped him before it hit the garbage, telling him that could make another meal, like a steak sandwich. Besides, that’s part of an animal that gave its life for us to eat well. We must respect that. Not sure if he learned anything until there’s a day when he has to earn the money to feed himself and the time comes when funds are short…
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Tell everyone she complains to that she's bitching that you won't let her take your lunch for tomorrow and pitch the whole meal into the garbage, which is what she did the last 2 times you agreed to let her have your lunch. Their opinion of her will change in an instant.
I think OP will find that anyone who buys her BS won't change their opinion so easily.
Load More Replies... Any critics coming to you after she has complained to them tell them the truth. Then tell them they can $pend and provide her the groceries. Or maybe they would like her to be their roommate. Or, she can eat all her meals at their place. She has abused you. She should grow up and cook for herself. You may need to get a lockable fridge for your room to put your leftovers in. If she says anything just tell her that food is your next meal so she can see what's in the cupboard and fix it.
NTA. But can I suggest that instead of her serving herself from your food, you serve her and give her a smaller serving. Then if she wants more you can give her another smaller serving so she never has enough to throw away. That said, it's not your responsibility to feed her at all.
That's what I do with our children. My stepdaughters, especially the oldest who's nearly 13, never learned not to be wasteful. I've spent almost 5 years trying to break bad habits, but there's not much hope in retraining the oldest. She learns from her mother to act like an entitled princess.
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Nta but It might go a long way to spell it out for her. I'm not giving you food because you keep throwing away and wasting my food. Op may have done that, but they didn't say they did with them communications they gave the roommate. All the communications sounded implied. You'd be surprised how many people can't read between the lines.
Keep it that way as long as you can. There’s nothing better than freedom.
Load More Replies... Wow - I can’t imagine being so rude and thoughtless. Not being appreciative of the effort that went into making the meals, and not finishing what’s on your plate. She obviously wasn’t that hungry. Nor was she raised with manners. Her roommate is under no obligation to provide for her - she’s a grown woman.
My husband is like this. To protect myself, I've kept finances separate, especially since he's bad with money. His behavior towards food has always been a problem, he hates most things I make so he's on his own for meals. There's a few things we enjoy together and I'll make them upon request. But lately I've stopped that too. I don't mind if something isn't eaten in one sitting if it can become leftovers, the problem is I make things for him and he doesn't eat leftovers. I've stopped with the requests. Food is expensive and making meals takes time and effort, something some people don't appreciate. So ignore what she and others are saying, stand by your convictions. Don't let someone else sink the ship.
I grew up poor, but have more than enough money for food. I feed everyone who comes over... but if you throw my food out once, I don't feed you my food anymore. You throw out food in my house after that, I don't feed you any food anymore. I don't mind if people take a small try and don't like something - I believe in trying something and deciding whether you want more, but you will not take a whole plate of food and just throw it away in my house.
People don't appreciate things like they should! And waste is one thing I cannot stand. You see a child at or below poverty level grateful for hot soup or even Raman noodles. And more fortunate children take 2 bites and throw the rest away. Or grab a soda and not even drink half and throw the rest down. Less than an hour later they do the same thing. Then you have half a dozen half full soda cans or water bottles in the garbage. Not to mention the space the wasted resources take up in mountains of garbage in our landfills and in our water ways! It is wrong to support foolishness!
Assuming this is true, she'll need to secure her leftovers - people like her roommate tend to do nasty things when they don't get their way. I'd lock up my toothbrush too...
I really don't understand why these people just don't say hey numbnuts why are you taking so much food to throw it in the garbage I take a lot of time cooking this food and I appreciate it if you didn't throw it in the garbage and if you keep doing that I'm not going to feed you anymore so smart in the f****** end of problem
Some people can't handle being confrontational or "disrupting the peace". They think it's kinder to express their intent in subtle ways, even though it almost always ends in them expressing resentment through passive aggressive behaviour, and only speaking honestly with people that have no actual stake in their life.
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Here's the thing about hungry people, they don't throw food away. This person obviously has no concept of what real hunger is.
It's the OPs money, food and time. She has every right to say no. NTA
UM.... Your roommate may have an eating disorder. So stop sharing food, yes, but watch to see if they buy or eat any, please.
Oh no, she does not have an eating disorder, other than she is a spoiled, entitled brat. When you have an eating disorder, you make it look like you’ve eaten more than you have and don’t make a show of ostentatiously throwing food out. You don’t draw attention to what you have or have not consumed. I know. I was anorexic and bulimic as a teenager. It’s about control. You lack control in your life but you sure as hell can control what goes in your mouth.
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NTA. Perhaps spell out how her past behavior affected you. Tell her how you felt when she threw away your leftovers. I could also see not bothering. Tammy sounds toxic AF.
If roommate wants food, then plate her a child sized portion. Then, roommate would have to ask for seconds. Reduce waste and maybe the roommate will understand that being given free food is a privilege, not a right.
Had a roommate who had bulimia (I've been through it myself but I'd NEVER in my life do this to someone), she didn't work, didn't go to school, and her parents payed her rent every month and helped with groceries. We always split groceries down the middle even though I was working hard every day and struggling with student loans. Came home almost every day to her having eaten about 90% of the food we bought because she would eat and then puke it up on repeat. She was also crazy in a lot of other ways, invited strangers over who went through my stuff when I wasn't home, they all ate my food too. If she had come to me and actually apologized I might have tried to work it out with her more but she felt entitled to the food because of her eating disorder, even though it was still stealing from me and ending up down the toilet.
A while ago I decided to stop expressing any sympathy or giving any leeway to people who aren't working on their issues, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. If you are working on your issue (ex. going to therapy) then I have a lot of patience and understanding while you work through it. If you aren't working on it, then you're communicating that you don't think it's actually a problem and that everyone in your life just needs to deal with the consequences you cause. If you aren't taking your issue seriously and giving it the time and consideration it deserves, then why should anyone else in your life? If you don't think it needs special consideration, then neither do I, and you get exactly zero get-out-of-jail free cards for it.
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NTA. First, it always amazes me that the first person to complain and whine to others about a situation, is the one who's in the wrong. Never fails. In this case, it's OP's roommate. It's like a kid who tattles to his parents about a sibling "look what Jimmy did..." when they were actually the guilty party. That being said, the roommate is manipulative, selfish and wasteful. An entitled brat. She likely takes great pride in getting what she wants and then dumping it. It's a power trip with her. OP should just stop giving her food, period. Nothing in the roommate code says you have to provide her meals, dude. If I was "supposed" to be an adult, I would be so embarrassed to tell people that my roommate is letting me "starve." Boo hoo hoo. She's a piece of work. Grow up girl, and stop putting this on OP. Make your own meals from now on, immature dumba*s.
Gotta clarify something. When I said the first person to complain and whine about the situation, I was meaning the roommate, who had the nerve to go to others and complain about OP.
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Give her a (small) portion of the meal. Keep the rest. You own the food, you decide! I would have gotten pissed the first time already. No way people in my house throw away food unless it's gone bad.
If I work hard and buy my own food then so should my roommate period! I'm not sharing nothing because food is super expensive and if I gave someone something I cooked and they took a full portion but only ate a quarter then threw the rest in the trash oh yeah they could run and tell the entire world that I won't feed them. It's not my responsibility plus if you take it you better eat it all don't waste my food because there's people out here in the world that would love to eat the food she threw away. Your roommate is wasteful and if she wants food she can go buy some period.
NTA! next time tell your room mate no, that food is for my lunch/dinner/snack. I deliberately make extra to get two or more meals out of one cooking session, it costs less that way, and I don't appreciate you binning my cooking and wasting my food. Since you obviously don't like my cooking, don't eat it, go get your own food.
Can she not cook her own flipping food? OP is not the ahole in this situation? She is wasting food that OP paid for and took the time to cook and the roommate decided she did not like it and throw it away time and time again. After the first time she threw the food away I would be telling her to make her own food from now on That's just rude and disrespectful to OP.
Probably would have been just as effective to require her to let the OP dish out the portion. That way the roommate doesn't "starve" and the OP's food isn't wasted. But whatever, sometimes it seems like making a point is more important to people than actually solving a problem.
They have similar means, OP just had slightly more from their parents. If her first reaction when starving is to throw away food that's perfectly fine, she isn't starving.
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Hell is other people. Roommates care ONLY about themselves. OP is quite generous to the Roommate who cares not for the money and effort OP put into preparation. I am almost positive that OP probably does things that pıss off roommate as well. I do not condone wasting food, but the only way to avoid annoyances from roommates is to avoid having roommates. (I know, easier said than done with sky high rent)
When I was in university, there was a food bank at the school (some of us went around at Halloween for a few years collecting non-perishables for it, the houses we went to had received something in the mail prior to then so most knew we’d be coming, and if was a different neighbourhood each year.) I think students were allowed to access it once or twice a semester. Also, the city has food banks as well.
You're dealing with a perpetuent child there. She's a grown a*s woman. How is she gonna go crying wine to everybody? That you, who is just a roommate, . letting her starve? I would keep cooking food. The way you are and put a small dorm. Fridge in your room to store your leftovers and then lock your room
I would introduce the wasteful, broke roommate to the wonderful world of "instant ramen"
One year I went to a chinese (cheap) rstaurant once a week. It was a buffet, and I took a little of whatever I thought I might like each time. I saw lots of people piling their plates full and eating only the half of it. I hated seing that, but so did the restaurant owner it seems. One evening she brought me a glas of white wine, that I had ordered before, but hadn't ordered that night. I said so, but she answered "complimentary".
One of the main reasons I have had exactly ONE roommate (not romantically involved) in my life. She would eat anything leftover in the fridge. Um, okay - that was going to be my dinner. And yes, more than once I found a good portion of it in the trash. I was going out one night and went to put on a new outfit, including a new bra - just washed and not in my drawer. I was about a 38D at the time and I notice L's shirt looks weird. "Are you wearing my new f*cking bra?" Oh, I didn't think you'd mind. THAT YOU'RE WEARING MY NEW UNDERGARMENTS??? Yeah, I f*cking mind. Whipped her shirt up (she was a 32 b at most) and she's got the straps all wedged tight, to the point where there are like "pleats" in the cups. ""Take it the f*ck off." I immediately threw it in a cold wash and told her she had until rent was due to be out. She was shocked. Over a bra? No - over thievery & disrespect, you entitled little b*tch.
Just what part of NO doesn't this dumbass understand? Fact is she is a wasteful, entitled moron. Her attempts to portray you as the bad guy are pathetic 🙄. If, in the future, you decide to share anymore food with this twit, do not let her help herself. Give her a sample to taste and then proceed.
My roommate is a version of this and so much more! I tried being polite because she's from India so I thought maybe I was being insensitive, but this girl takes an entire platter, eats hardly a fourth of it and then leaves it to rot in the fridge to "eat later". Unless she's seasoning her week old bolognese with her own mushrooms, I'm calling her bluff. There's so much more that I can go off about but good lord, it would only cause me more misery
Roommate is an entitled brat. If it were me, I'd play the game back and tell people "she's on a tight budget and I've tried to help her out, but she just doesn't like my cooking! I've been giving her Mac n cheese boxes and ramen so she doesn't starve, but I don't know what else I can do! I'm on a tight budget too :( "
There are food pantries she can go to to get food she will eat. Give her a list of local ones and tell her she can get food at them and then she’s not wasting your time or money on food she obviously doesn’t appreciate.
Omg, what?? Throwing away all that food when it could’ve been used for later, that’s just rude! If she’s not prepared to be respectful with your generous offerings of food; she doesn’t deserve it at all (especially since she was never entitled to any of your food in the first place)! Judging by her actions & the fact that you’ve explained to her why you’re managing food the way you are, she obviously doesn’t care that it’s your money being thrown away … & that is so disrespectful. If she’s out there telling bald-faced lies about you, share the link to this BP post with them, so they’ll see for themselves what the story is & know who the real liar is. As far as I’m concerned, she deserves to go hungry for a while. Then maybe she’ll learn to respect the value of food, especially with more & more people falling on hard times. 🫢🤷♀️
Yeah, she's an adult and a roommate so I can't see how anyone can say she's "letting her starve" bc it's not her job to provide sustenance for anyone but herself. What an entitled jerk.🙄
I agree with the comment that "shes never been really hungry if she's willing to throw away food". throwing away perfectly good, edible food is one of my biggest pet peeves.
I would move out, asap. Plus, you can't trust ANYONE named "Tammy." They're usually snakes.
My mom would always tell me and my 2 brothers: take what you can eat but you will eat what you take.
I mean where do you live, most places in the United States have food pantries, and they will let you take a cart and fill it up. They are there to utilize for people like Tammy, if she was really that tight on money. It is a nice resource, they are extremely nice there, everyone I have heard about aren't going to turn you away. Just a thought.
Agree on th NTA but it also sounds like OP had low communication skills. Why not just talk to Tammy about the actual issue instead of going round about to teach her a lesson like some sort of mysterious wizard mentor? "Hey, I don't mind sharing, but I notice that you usually toss most of what you take, and I feel upset knowing it's going to waste when it could be saved and eaten by either of us later. I also honestly can't afford to have my food tossed. If I share, would you be willing to take smaller portions and just get more of you want more after you finish what you've taken?"
Believe it or not, there's actually at least one "YTA" vote because OP gets money from their parents that they don't really "need". Sometimes it's fun to sort the AITA comments by "controversial" and see the trolls at work. (I'd vote NTA, for the record, it doesn't matter if OP has money to spare, wasting food, especially in the current climate - this was posted 3 days ago to Reddit - is criminal)
Who gets to decide if she "needs" the money and even if the doesn't, she is in no way obligated to provide for a roommate.
Load More Replies... Absolutely NTA. I *hate* seeing food wasted, particularly after I've spent a good amount of time preparing it.
I agree. We were raised to finish what was on our plates. I had a nephew come over and went to throw out 3/4 of an expensive ribeye steak. I stopped him before it hit the garbage, telling him that could make another meal, like a steak sandwich. Besides, that’s part of an animal that gave its life for us to eat well. We must respect that. Not sure if he learned anything until there’s a day when he has to earn the money to feed himself and the time comes when funds are short…
Load More Replies... Tell everyone she complains to that she's bitching that you won't let her take your lunch for tomorrow and pitch the whole meal into the garbage, which is what she did the last 2 times you agreed to let her have your lunch. Their opinion of her will change in an instant.
I think OP will find that anyone who buys her BS won't change their opinion so easily.
Load More Replies... Any critics coming to you after she has complained to them tell them the truth. Then tell them they can $pend and provide her the groceries. Or maybe they would like her to be their roommate. Or, she can eat all her meals at their place. She has abused you. She should grow up and cook for herself. You may need to get a lockable fridge for your room to put your leftovers in. If she says anything just tell her that food is your next meal so she can see what's in the cupboard and fix it.
NTA. But can I suggest that instead of her serving herself from your food, you serve her and give her a smaller serving. Then if she wants more you can give her another smaller serving so she never has enough to throw away. That said, it's not your responsibility to feed her at all.
That's what I do with our children. My stepdaughters, especially the oldest who's nearly 13, never learned not to be wasteful. I've spent almost 5 years trying to break bad habits, but there's not much hope in retraining the oldest. She learns from her mother to act like an entitled princess.
Load More Replies... Nta but It might go a long way to spell it out for her. I'm not giving you food because you keep throwing away and wasting my food. Op may have done that, but they didn't say they did with them communications they gave the roommate. All the communications sounded implied. You'd be surprised how many people can't read between the lines.
Keep it that way as long as you can. There’s nothing better than freedom.
Load More Replies... Wow - I can’t imagine being so rude and thoughtless. Not being appreciative of the effort that went into making the meals, and not finishing what’s on your plate. She obviously wasn’t that hungry. Nor was she raised with manners. Her roommate is under no obligation to provide for her - she’s a grown woman.
My husband is like this. To protect myself, I've kept finances separate, especially since he's bad with money. His behavior towards food has always been a problem, he hates most things I make so he's on his own for meals. There's a few things we enjoy together and I'll make them upon request. But lately I've stopped that too. I don't mind if something isn't eaten in one sitting if it can become leftovers, the problem is I make things for him and he doesn't eat leftovers. I've stopped with the requests. Food is expensive and making meals takes time and effort, something some people don't appreciate. So ignore what she and others are saying, stand by your convictions. Don't let someone else sink the ship.
I grew up poor, but have more than enough money for food. I feed everyone who comes over... but if you throw my food out once, I don't feed you my food anymore. You throw out food in my house after that, I don't feed you any food anymore. I don't mind if people take a small try and don't like something - I believe in trying something and deciding whether you want more, but you will not take a whole plate of food and just throw it away in my house.
People don't appreciate things like they should! And waste is one thing I cannot stand. You see a child at or below poverty level grateful for hot soup or even Raman noodles. And more fortunate children take 2 bites and throw the rest away. Or grab a soda and not even drink half and throw the rest down. Less than an hour later they do the same thing. Then you have half a dozen half full soda cans or water bottles in the garbage. Not to mention the space the wasted resources take up in mountains of garbage in our landfills and in our water ways! It is wrong to support foolishness!
Assuming this is true, she'll need to secure her leftovers - people like her roommate tend to do nasty things when they don't get their way. I'd lock up my toothbrush too...
I really don't understand why these people just don't say hey numbnuts why are you taking so much food to throw it in the garbage I take a lot of time cooking this food and I appreciate it if you didn't throw it in the garbage and if you keep doing that I'm not going to feed you anymore so smart in the f****** end of problem
Some people can't handle being confrontational or "disrupting the peace". They think it's kinder to express their intent in subtle ways, even though it almost always ends in them expressing resentment through passive aggressive behaviour, and only speaking honestly with people that have no actual stake in their life.
Load More Replies... Here's the thing about hungry people, they don't throw food away. This person obviously has no concept of what real hunger is.
It's the OPs money, food and time. She has every right to say no. NTA
UM.... Your roommate may have an eating disorder. So stop sharing food, yes, but watch to see if they buy or eat any, please.
Oh no, she does not have an eating disorder, other than she is a spoiled, entitled brat. When you have an eating disorder, you make it look like you’ve eaten more than you have and don’t make a show of ostentatiously throwing food out. You don’t draw attention to what you have or have not consumed. I know. I was anorexic and bulimic as a teenager. It’s about control. You lack control in your life but you sure as hell can control what goes in your mouth.
Load More Replies... NTA. Perhaps spell out how her past behavior affected you. Tell her how you felt when she threw away your leftovers. I could also see not bothering. Tammy sounds toxic AF.
If roommate wants food, then plate her a child sized portion. Then, roommate would have to ask for seconds. Reduce waste and maybe the roommate will understand that being given free food is a privilege, not a right.
Had a roommate who had bulimia (I've been through it myself but I'd NEVER in my life do this to someone), she didn't work, didn't go to school, and her parents payed her rent every month and helped with groceries. We always split groceries down the middle even though I was working hard every day and struggling with student loans. Came home almost every day to her having eaten about 90% of the food we bought because she would eat and then puke it up on repeat. She was also crazy in a lot of other ways, invited strangers over who went through my stuff when I wasn't home, they all ate my food too. If she had come to me and actually apologized I might have tried to work it out with her more but she felt entitled to the food because of her eating disorder, even though it was still stealing from me and ending up down the toilet.
A while ago I decided to stop expressing any sympathy or giving any leeway to people who aren't working on their issues, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. If you are working on your issue (ex. going to therapy) then I have a lot of patience and understanding while you work through it. If you aren't working on it, then you're communicating that you don't think it's actually a problem and that everyone in your life just needs to deal with the consequences you cause. If you aren't taking your issue seriously and giving it the time and consideration it deserves, then why should anyone else in your life? If you don't think it needs special consideration, then neither do I, and you get exactly zero get-out-of-jail free cards for it.
Load More Replies... NTA. First, it always amazes me that the first person to complain and whine to others about a situation, is the one who's in the wrong. Never fails. In this case, it's OP's roommate. It's like a kid who tattles to his parents about a sibling "look what Jimmy did..." when they were actually the guilty party. That being said, the roommate is manipulative, selfish and wasteful. An entitled brat. She likely takes great pride in getting what she wants and then dumping it. It's a power trip with her. OP should just stop giving her food, period. Nothing in the roommate code says you have to provide her meals, dude. If I was "supposed" to be an adult, I would be so embarrassed to tell people that my roommate is letting me "starve." Boo hoo hoo. She's a piece of work. Grow up girl, and stop putting this on OP. Make your own meals from now on, immature dumba*s.
Gotta clarify something. When I said the first person to complain and whine about the situation, I was meaning the roommate, who had the nerve to go to others and complain about OP.
Load More Replies... Give her a (small) portion of the meal. Keep the rest. You own the food, you decide! I would have gotten pissed the first time already. No way people in my house throw away food unless it's gone bad.
If I work hard and buy my own food then so should my roommate period! I'm not sharing nothing because food is super expensive and if I gave someone something I cooked and they took a full portion but only ate a quarter then threw the rest in the trash oh yeah they could run and tell the entire world that I won't feed them. It's not my responsibility plus if you take it you better eat it all don't waste my food because there's people out here in the world that would love to eat the food she threw away. Your roommate is wasteful and if she wants food she can go buy some period.
NTA! next time tell your room mate no, that food is for my lunch/dinner/snack. I deliberately make extra to get two or more meals out of one cooking session, it costs less that way, and I don't appreciate you binning my cooking and wasting my food. Since you obviously don't like my cooking, don't eat it, go get your own food.
Can she not cook her own flipping food? OP is not the ahole in this situation? She is wasting food that OP paid for and took the time to cook and the roommate decided she did not like it and throw it away time and time again. After the first time she threw the food away I would be telling her to make her own food from now on That's just rude and disrespectful to OP.
Probably would have been just as effective to require her to let the OP dish out the portion. That way the roommate doesn't "starve" and the OP's food isn't wasted. But whatever, sometimes it seems like making a point is more important to people than actually solving a problem.
They have similar means, OP just had slightly more from their parents. If her first reaction when starving is to throw away food that's perfectly fine, she isn't starving.
Load More Replies... Hell is other people. Roommates care ONLY about themselves. OP is quite generous to the Roommate who cares not for the money and effort OP put into preparation. I am almost positive that OP probably does things that pıss off roommate as well. I do not condone wasting food, but the only way to avoid annoyances from roommates is to avoid having roommates. (I know, easier said than done with sky high rent)
When I was in university, there was a food bank at the school (some of us went around at Halloween for a few years collecting non-perishables for it, the houses we went to had received something in the mail prior to then so most knew we’d be coming, and if was a different neighbourhood each year.) I think students were allowed to access it once or twice a semester. Also, the city has food banks as well.
You're dealing with a perpetuent child there. She's a grown a*s woman. How is she gonna go crying wine to everybody? That you, who is just a roommate, . letting her starve? I would keep cooking food. The way you are and put a small dorm. Fridge in your room to store your leftovers and then lock your room
I would introduce the wasteful, broke roommate to the wonderful world of "instant ramen"
One year I went to a chinese (cheap) rstaurant once a week. It was a buffet, and I took a little of whatever I thought I might like each time. I saw lots of people piling their plates full and eating only the half of it. I hated seing that, but so did the restaurant owner it seems. One evening she brought me a glas of white wine, that I had ordered before, but hadn't ordered that night. I said so, but she answered "complimentary".
One of the main reasons I have had exactly ONE roommate (not romantically involved) in my life. She would eat anything leftover in the fridge. Um, okay - that was going to be my dinner. And yes, more than once I found a good portion of it in the trash. I was going out one night and went to put on a new outfit, including a new bra - just washed and not in my drawer. I was about a 38D at the time and I notice L's shirt looks weird. "Are you wearing my new f*cking bra?" Oh, I didn't think you'd mind. THAT YOU'RE WEARING MY NEW UNDERGARMENTS??? Yeah, I f*cking mind. Whipped her shirt up (she was a 32 b at most) and she's got the straps all wedged tight, to the point where there are like "pleats" in the cups. ""Take it the f*ck off." I immediately threw it in a cold wash and told her she had until rent was due to be out. She was shocked. Over a bra? No - over thievery & disrespect, you entitled little b*tch.
Just what part of NO doesn't this dumbass understand? Fact is she is a wasteful, entitled moron. Her attempts to portray you as the bad guy are pathetic 🙄. If, in the future, you decide to share anymore food with this twit, do not let her help herself. Give her a sample to taste and then proceed.
My roommate is a version of this and so much more! I tried being polite because she's from India so I thought maybe I was being insensitive, but this girl takes an entire platter, eats hardly a fourth of it and then leaves it to rot in the fridge to "eat later". Unless she's seasoning her week old bolognese with her own mushrooms, I'm calling her bluff. There's so much more that I can go off about but good lord, it would only cause me more misery
Roommate is an entitled brat. If it were me, I'd play the game back and tell people "she's on a tight budget and I've tried to help her out, but she just doesn't like my cooking! I've been giving her Mac n cheese boxes and ramen so she doesn't starve, but I don't know what else I can do! I'm on a tight budget too :( "
There are food pantries she can go to to get food she will eat. Give her a list of local ones and tell her she can get food at them and then she’s not wasting your time or money on food she obviously doesn’t appreciate.
Omg, what?? Throwing away all that food when it could’ve been used for later, that’s just rude! If she’s not prepared to be respectful with your generous offerings of food; she doesn’t deserve it at all (especially since she was never entitled to any of your food in the first place)! Judging by her actions & the fact that you’ve explained to her why you’re managing food the way you are, she obviously doesn’t care that it’s your money being thrown away … & that is so disrespectful. If she’s out there telling bald-faced lies about you, share the link to this BP post with them, so they’ll see for themselves what the story is & know who the real liar is. As far as I’m concerned, she deserves to go hungry for a while. Then maybe she’ll learn to respect the value of food, especially with more & more people falling on hard times. 🫢🤷♀️
Yeah, she's an adult and a roommate so I can't see how anyone can say she's "letting her starve" bc it's not her job to provide sustenance for anyone but herself. What an entitled jerk.🙄
I agree with the comment that "shes never been really hungry if she's willing to throw away food". throwing away perfectly good, edible food is one of my biggest pet peeves.
I would move out, asap. Plus, you can't trust ANYONE named "Tammy." They're usually snakes.
My mom would always tell me and my 2 brothers: take what you can eat but you will eat what you take.
I mean where do you live, most places in the United States have food pantries, and they will let you take a cart and fill it up. They are there to utilize for people like Tammy, if she was really that tight on money. It is a nice resource, they are extremely nice there, everyone I have heard about aren't going to turn you away. Just a thought.
Agree on th NTA but it also sounds like OP had low communication skills. Why not just talk to Tammy about the actual issue instead of going round about to teach her a lesson like some sort of mysterious wizard mentor? "Hey, I don't mind sharing, but I notice that you usually toss most of what you take, and I feel upset knowing it's going to waste when it could be saved and eaten by either of us later. I also honestly can't afford to have my food tossed. If I share, would you be willing to take smaller portions and just get more of you want more after you finish what you've taken?"
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