79 Funny And Chaotic Marriage Memes To Send Your Partner Instead Of Paying For Couple’s Therapy

Clever.

I hope you laughed and appreciated the effort.

old joke - heard it in the 80s

... You left out 'the Horse'.

You can also buy more milk yourself...

Dad, that you?

Ahh yes, gaslighting the cornerstone of any successful marriage.

Yep, can confirm.

Not true,10 years together, cuddling is still my favorite

Are we gonna tell her this is actually a tactic? Pick the question you like, deliberately ignore the other.

Brutal!

Equal parts 'delight' and 'smug'.

Cat tax paid :)

My wife in a desperate attempt to fix this bug: Do you know how your jeans look? Me: Yes, they're blue. She: so, go ahead and find them. Me (2 min later): Checked the dryer again. No jeans.

Sounds like a Henny Youngman or Rodney Dangerfield joke

My dog is smarter than this ... she leaves the room before the cursing begins as he *attempts* to fix things.

I dread the thought of breaking someone new in to the "farting" stage of the relationship

My husband often asks " hey, where's that thing?" and im just supposed to know which thing he seeks

Write it down!

If my husband asks me If I want anything, my answer is always 'Surprise me!'. If he does not bring something for me, I am okay with that. It is just a different kind of surprise.

If you married a manchild, that's on you

She still made it which to me shows even more love

Hahahaha this sounds like an exact conversation that happens between me and my husband every friday!!!

Narrator "i repeat do Not do that thing"

Neither is asleep, therefore; both need feeding. Now, if not sooner.

It was the other way round for me and my ex. I'd tell it in three sentences and he'd tell it in fifty, then forget what story he was even telling in the first place.

Ah yes, a child clearly wrote that. Great handwriting btw, small child 😂

'Twere ever thus.

No one needs me until they want cash

That's why we have a rule that if someone offers to make a meal, you pretend you're not there and only offer to help if you really want to 😅

So now you're outnumbered -- even more than usual.

Ghostchaplain16

Ghostchaplain16

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We specialize: She packs the suitcases; I pack the car.

I prefer that than pretending

Feed her

Her parents' place is a graveyard in Virginia...

"You ATE them????"

Similar to the "Check Engine" light. Something expensive is coming...

Sometimes silence says a lot more than a bunch of words ever can

Oh, an outside towel? Yeah those are nice.

This is how I lost trust to my parents

My husband will roll over and start asking me questions about our plans for the day like he's had a pot of coffee while I'm still trying to figure out who I am and how I got there. Sir, I'm am not yet verbal. Give me a minute.

I'm sorry to hear about your marriage being bad.

Priorities!!!

I've never forgotten when my husband's friend came over and the two of them were talking. Friend said of his lady "I don't know what happened! I saw she was upset so I asked if I could do something, and she started screaming! I've never seen her like that, it was like she just. . . snapped!" I was eavesdropping and asked, "Has she ever behaved this way before?" He thought for a moment, then admitted, "Yeah, she has! It's been a while, though." "Awhile like a few weeks?" "Well, yeah." "Like roughly four weeks?" His eyes got wide and he blurted out "Yes! How did you know?" I just smiled and said, "Think about it." A few seconds later I could see realization dawn on his face. That's when he asked, "What should I do next time this happens?" I said "There's a few things you need to remember. 1. Do NOT touch her unless she specifically asks you to -- more than once. 2. No matter what she says, repeat "I'm sorry, darling. You are absolutely right." 3. Keep chocolate handy at all times."

Ghostchaplain16

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...and the sooner we learn it, the better.

Is that Matthew Broderick!

This is why my husband and I installed a synchronising shopping list app on our phones. Whatever one of us is adding to this list, it adds itself to both of our lists. So when one of us goes to a grocery store, the list is always up to date.

It's nice, now you can complain togegher

You sound amazingly smart at problem solving. I'm amazed at your skills 😅

But I like Crock Pots...

Separate ones save you from struggle

People, please, communicate, what are you trying to achieve with this attitude?

Hottest (not looks but temperature wise) in the house gets to control the temp. I'm going through perimenopause, I get control right now and he can put on a sweater. He's actually been a real sweetheart about it though and doesn't complain. <3

But of course thru the family game of telephone they say something complete differant

W*F?!

Why does this picture just sing to me? (Must fight off urge to get this!!)

Opposite - when my hubs and I were still working in office instead of from home, he’d always make my travel coffee so I’d have 10 more minutes to get ready. If he took a day off, he usually still made it for me but when he didn’t - “You don't love me anymore!? 🥺” (totally joking, and he knew it)

My husband does this every f’ing time I go to back out of the driveway. I have to back to the end to see around a neighbor’s car, and he acts like I’m going to just back straight in to oncoming traffic. My bumper has not cleared the edge of the driveway, chill. Oncoming traffic could be a block away and he still acts like we’re going to die. B***h, I have a better driving record.

How did you tell him? When did you tell him? What was he doing at the time? So many assumptions

AM or PM?

Answer: I don’t know. Are you still being an a*****e?

That is nacho cheese. It's my cheese.

Fix your insecurities before projecting them on others...

You can also just ask for a minute of attention...

I clean before, while and after I cook. Husband makes himself something to eat, I clean the stove and sink. Do you know that some people are strong enough to gather plates and glasses, walk through the whole kitchen with that pile and suddenly they loose their strength and aren't able to put those things into the dishwasher? No, they have to be left on the counter above said dishwasher and are forgotten forever.

I wish.