Couple Accuses Guest Of Making Political Statement At Their Wedding For Attention, She Asks If She’s Wrong

Many weddings have a dress code. Usually, it’s black tie or formal attire, and many people agree that violating that etiquette would be bad. In fact, 79% of Americans say that showing up in casual attire would almost always be inappropriate. When it’s a destination wedding, the dress code might be even more important.

For this couple, it was certainly so, as they reprimanded one of their friends about her body hair. Since the event would take place at the beach, the woman was asked to shave her armpit hair, as it would distract other guests. When she stood her ground, the couple got mad, calling her out for doing this as some feminist protest, even though she said she kept her armpit hair for other reasons.

Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who shared this story online, u/Adventurous-Pea-337, and she kindly agreed to give us an update. Read on to find out whether she plans to give in to her friends’ demands and how she views body hair in general!

A woman’s armpit hair became a point of debate over her attending her friends’ wedding

Woman showing hairy armpits in a white tank top, highlighting bridal guests feeling uncomfortable with body hair.

Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)

The couple asked her to remove it, since it would distract other guests, but she just didn’t feel comfortable

Woman explains why she stopped shaving armpits, causing discomfort for bride and groom at the wedding.

Text discussing sensitive skin, personal choice to not shave armpits, and its societal and political implications.

Text discussing discomfort over a bride and groom viewing a woman's hairy armpits as a personal insult at their wedding.

Text discussing bride and groom's dress code expectations, emphasizing guests be well groomed to avoid discomfort.

Text excerpt discussing bride and groom viewing woman's hairy armpits as a personal insult at wedding event.

Woman responds to bride and groom’s criticism about her hairy armpits causing guests to feel uncomfortable.

Two women having a serious conversation indoors, illustrating discomfort related to bride and groom and hairy armpits conflict.

Image credits: Liza Summer/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Text about a woman facing discomfort as bride and groom take her hairy armpits as a personal insult.

Woman refuses to shave hairy armpits despite bride and groom's discomfort at personal insult over grooming choice

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Text excerpt discussing bride and groom considering woman's hairy armpits as a personal insult at event.

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Image credits: Adventurous-Pea-337

The Redditor tells Bored Panda that she decided to keep her armpit hair for the friends’ wedding

“Nothing more has come of this conversation with my friends,” u/Adventurous-Pea-337 told Bored Panda. “I’m planning to attend their wedding as is. I’m not in the wedding party, so I really don’t think the hair will be a distraction.”

The Redditor has decided that, ultimately, worrying about her body hair is her friends’ problem, not hers. “I guess if the couple wants to make a fuss, then that’s them. I’m also blonde, so realistically my body hair is not that visible from a distance.”

“I was honestly shocked my friends brought it up in the first place because most people don’t notice or at least don’t feel a need to bring it up.”

u/Adventurous-Pea-337 tells us she generally doesn’t pay much attention to body hair – hers or other people’s. The only part of her body she shaves is her legs, and she only does it when she feels like it.

“I figure it’s natural, it grows for a reason, so there’s no need to fuss about removing it. If other people choose to shave or not shave their armpits, men or women, I don’t hold it against them. Everyone should be able to do what’s best for their body within reason.”

She doesn’t see keeping body hair as unhygienic. Not showering for a week would be gross, but just the sight of some hair isn’t such a big deal, the Redditor believes.

She understands that women keeping their body hair is almost always seen as political. “Pretty much anything we do that goes against social norms will be politicized, but I don’t think it’s fair that my friends assumed I was trying to make a statement at their wedding.”

However, even if she would have refused to shave to make a political statement, the friends don’t have the right to demand it, u/Adventurous-Pea-337 believes.

“You don’t get to dictate other people’s bodies. I also disagree when men are asked to shave their faces for weddings or [when] women are told to dye/cut their hair. Weddings are not an excuse to be a control freak, and your wedding party/guests have the right to say no without [the] risk of being uninvited.”

Posting this story online made another thing clear for the Redditor: rethinking her friendship with the couple. “My real friends accept all of me, and apparently this couple isn’t willing to do that. I will simply use their wedding as a fun vacation, wish them well, and then quietly take my leave from their lives. It’s really no skin off my back,” u/Adventurous-Pea-337 says.

Removing body hair is still deemed the norm for women to appear feminine

Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Women’s body hair is quite a contentious topic. Some people believe that it’s unfeminine and unwomanly to walk around with their pit hair out. Others, however, believe that women, just like men, have body hair and should be allowed to choose whether to keep it or remove it.

The public opinion on this matter tends to steer away from favoring women. A 2016 YouGov poll showed that 70% of Americans believe that a “hairy woman” is a bad thing. A “hairy man,” on the other hand, is actually perceived as a good thing; only 24% of the poll respondents said it’s bad for men to be hairy, 29% said it was a good thing, and 47% weren’t sure.

Interestingly, people’s attitudes also greatly differ depending on how old they are. Young people are more inclined to think that both men and women should remove their body hair. However, there is a discrepancy when it comes to actually following through.

Although 46% of American men aged 18 to 29 believe they should remove their body hair, only 37% actually do it. For women, it’s the opposite: 72% of young American women do remove their body hair, but only 56% believe that they should.

Hairy armpits can trigger body odor more easily

Image credits: Karola G/Pexels (not the actual photo)

The author explained her reasoning for keeping her armpit hair by saying that it helps her avoid sweating off deodorant and antiperspirant. It’s all personal preference, of course, but most experts say that antiperspirant works better when applied to clean-shaven skin, especially before going to bed.

For people who struggle with body odor, experts advise using antiperspirants. Unlike deodorants, antiperspirants reduce sweating by pulling it back into our sweat glands. When our bodies receive a signal that our sweat glands are full, they decrease sweat production.

When there’s hair, armpit sweat is more likely to give off a bad smell. Generally, sweat smells when it comes into contact with the bacteria on our skin or hair and is basically odorless by itself. One study even found that removing armpit hair is the most effective way of reducing body odor. That’s why experts also advise using antibacterial soap and wearing clothes that are loose and made from natural fibers.

However, contrary to popular belief, not shaving your armpit hair is not unhygienic. If a person showers regularly and applies deodorant, they’re just as clean as a person with no armpit hair. As Shani Francis, MD, a clinical assistant professor at the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine, explains, “cutting the hair only removes, let’s say, the ‘house’ for the bacteria. If you have no armpit hair but don’t wash your armpits, you’re still going to have odor.”

Some antiperspirants that include deodorants can mask the smell, but only antiperspirants can reduce the amount of sweat that our bodies produce. When armpit hair is trimmed, shaved, waxed, or otherwise removed, antiperspirant reaches our sweat glands more easily. So, when applied to hairless armpits, antiperspirant is more likely to be effective.

Sometimes, it might have no effect on how much or why we sweat. Some people might have hyperhidrosis, a.k.a. excessive sweating. That’s a condition for people to figure out with their doctors. Still, ultimately, removing body hair is a personal preference, and no one should feel pressured to do it.

Commenters offered the woman mixed reactions: some praised her for standing her ground

Comment on bride and groom offended by woman's hairy armpits, causing guests to feel uncomfortable at wedding.

Comment expressing discomfort with women's hairy armpits, relating to guests feeling uncomfortable and personal insults at weddings.

Reddit comment discussing discomfort caused by guests over a woman’s hairy armpits at a wedding.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing discomfort caused by visible hairy armpits at a wedding event.

Woman explains stopping shaving armpits amid discomfort from bride and groom viewing hairy armpits as personal insult.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing discomfort over bride and groom taking a woman’s hairy armpits as an insult.

Text discussing personal hair grooming choices and opinions on guests uncomfortable with hairy armpits at events.

Text image discussing how women having body hair is natural and that discomfort over a woman's hairy armpits can reflect deeper marital issues.

Bride and groom view woman's hairy armpits as personal insult, causing discomfort among wedding guests.

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Reddit user comments on guests feeling uncomfortable over bride and groom taking woman's hairy armpits as insult.

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Others, however, told her she was being unreasonable and thought that visible armpit hair would be a sign of poor grooming

Comment discussing hairy armpits as a personal insult causing discomfort for guests at a bride and groom's event.

Reddit comment discussing guests’ discomfort over a woman’s hairy armpits viewed as a personal insult by bride and groom.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing guests' comfort and wedding dress codes regarding hairy armpits.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing discomfort caused by a woman's hairy armpits at a wedding event.

Comment criticizing a woman's hairy armpits described as a personal insult by bride and groom, causing guest discomfort.

Comment discussing guest discomfort over bride and groom taking woman's hairy armpits as a personal insult.

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