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215
Teen Ignores Sister’s Warning About Babysitting, Makes A Mistake That Lands Her And Toddler In ER
Paying for your own college tuition can be hard. A 2022 report shows that 64% of students pay for their own college tuition, but not everyone can afford it. This young woman had help from her sister, who agreed to fund her education. But that stopped after one unfortunate accident.
The mother recently asked netizens whether she was overreacting by withdrawing college funds and kicking her sister out after she caused her toddler’s concussion. She sparked a heated debate among commenters: was it just an accident or was the sister being too irresponsible and deserved her punishment?
RELATED:
A mother went livid after her younger sister injured her toddler while babysitting him
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
She decided to withdraw her financial support for her sister, prompting heated reactions from family members
Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Meg Aghamyan (not the actual photo)
The mother clarified what kind of arrangement she had with her sister and that she and her husband do discipline their son
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: anon
The most common cause of a concussion in toddlers is falls
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
It’s scary for parents to see their toddler injured. Even though children fall down and get bumps and bruises more often than adults do, something as significant as a concussion can really scare a parent.
Concussions aren’t at all common in toddlers. According to the CDC, only 3.9% of children have received a diagnosis of a concussion at least once in their lives. Only 1.0% of those children are ages 0-5 years.
However, children aged 0-4 and 15-19 are the two age groups at the greatest risk of a brain injury. If we were to put the percentages in numbers, an average of 62,000 children from 0 to 19 years old sustain brain injuries requiring hospitalization. And a whopping 564,000 visit the hospital emergency department and, luckily, get released.
The most common reasons why children sustain traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) are motor vehicle crashes, falls, sports injuries, physical abuse, and others. For toddlers aged 0-4, the most common reason for a brain injury is a fall. As the Brain Injury Association of America reports, every year around 1,300 children in America experience severe or fatal brain trauma from child abuse.
A toddler’s head is still large compared to their body, so, they’re top-heavy. That’s why, if they lose their balance, they most often fall headfirst. However, any activity where a toddler hits their body or head hard enough can cause a concussion.
Concussions are mild brain injuries, but parents should still seek medical attention just in case
Image credits: Thgusstavo Santana (not the actual photo)
Doctors consider concussions to be mild brain injuries. They disrupt the way the brain functions but don’t do any structural damage to the brain. According to the Children’s Hospital Colorado, any child under two years old (and the OP’s son, at 22 months, falls into this category) should have their scalp checked after any kind of bump on the head since their skulls are still soft.
If the toddler gets a bump on other parts of their head, there might be no need to seek medical attention. Like the forehead, for example, as Julie Wilson, MD, pediatric sports medicine physician and co-director of the Concussion Program at Children’s Hospital Colorado explains. “Generally, the forehead is pretty resilient for children ages 2 and older. But other parts — our temples, behind our ears, the nose, cheekbones — are a bit more fragile.”
Some less noticeable signs that a toddler or a baby has a concussion might be inconsolable crying, not eating, drowsiness, unusual behavior, or a brief loss of consciousness. More serious symptoms include vomiting or nausea, slurred speech, if one pupil is bigger than the other, and convulsions or seizures.
Dr. Wilson says that parents should always trust their instincts: if they think the child needs medical attention, they should seek it. “Often parents know if there’s something really wrong with their child,” she believes. It’s better to be safe than sorry, especially where a toddler’s health is concerned.
The woman sparked quite a debate; some believed that all of this was the younger sister’s fault
Others saw more nuance in the story: the sister was irresponsible, but it still was an accident
But some netizens blamed the mother: “Please get your kid under control”
And, finally, others saw no point in blaming anyone: “Accidents happen. You don’t bail on family”
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What do you think ?
Brazen 11 months ago
I don't believe she "threw" the child. I think what a lot of these people are saying is correct, she might have pushed him away or even dropped him if she was holding him, but that would have been a reflexive thing to do after getting stabbed/jabbed in the ear.
Binky Melnik 11 months ago (edited)
Exactly and moreover, it doesn’t take a lot to hurt a toddler’s head. I don’t believe she flung him, but rather pushed him and his top-heaviness from his big ol’ toddler head caused him to tump over. I absolutely believe she contributed to his concussion, but also don’t Blame her as a punctured eardrum HURTS and she likely reflexively pushed him. I think her sister is overreacting. I also don’t blame her for forgetting to remove her headband as she doesn’t have a toddler and so her thoughts don’t revolve around how she can keep him safe. SHE’S A COLLEGE KID, so her mind is on her exams, grades, and one or more cute classmates. Sister likely forgot what being a child-free student is like!
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Kristen Woehlke 11 months ago
I hate to go with the YTA trolls, but upon the child waking up, the girl could have just forgotten to take the headband off and then disaster struck. Yeah, she should have immediately taken it off when it was initially recommended and now we are brought to this outcome. I don't believe she "threw" the child, because after that shock of pain, I'd have launched him!
Uncle Schmickle 11 months ago
From what I've read here, there are 2 separate issues which are not related. One is looking after your sister and paying for everything, for which I trust she's grateful. The other is the accident. This seems to have been quite a shock for your sister, who reflexly reacted to the pain in her ear. Sounds like the toddler accidentally fell to the floor when your sister jerked away from him. I'm sure she's terribly remorseful for what happened. Had it been me, I would have felt terrible, but at the same time, worried as hell that I may have lost hearing permanently in that ear.
Laura Wyatt 11 months ago
She said in her original post that her parents helped pay for her husband's college. Can you imagine a world where you have 2 kids and pay for the older kid's significant other's college with NO plans to pay for your younger kid's tuition? So mom pays for hubbys school. Kid one and hubby are doing great financially (because of that help). And now there's no college funds for kid 2? Most people wouldn't put up a sibling free and pay for school no strings attached. Seems to me that there is much more to that part of the story. Like "give us Sally's college fund and we will pay for Sally's school later." Or something. And if the younger sister has no $$$ from her parents for school but they paid for HIS school-seems to me that that maybe there is at least a moral obligation to pay it forward. I agree with many that the kiddo getting dropped was likely an unconscious knee-jerk reaction and not done out of anger or intentionally. Mom
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Melissa Harris 11 months ago (edited)
This was a freak accident. Could have happened to anyone. The OP is going to blow up her entire family over a simple mistake and a instinctual reaction. The OPs parents can't pay for her sister's tuition because they paid for her husband's. If she won't "pay it forward" to her sister they might ask her and her husband repay them so they can pay her sister's tuition. Her sister is only going to remember she was kicked out after being injured by a toddler that hasn't been taught not to grab (or cling). Honestly, she's setting herself up to have someone in the family rub it in her face at some point in the future when she or her husband enevitablly make a small mistake and there's another mishap or accident. She's setting herself up to have to be a perfect 'supermom'; which, doesn't exist. Also, if your toddler laughs when you're trying to discipline them you're not doing it right. You don't need to resort to physical assult (spanking) to discipline a child. It's about making the child understand that you're upset and what they've done has upset you. The OP sounds like she should read some parenting books on how to communicate with toddlers in an emotionally intelligent way.
Julia H 10 months ago
They both had different knee jerk reactions. I'm hoping cooler heads prevail
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Roberta Surprenant 11 months ago
Can't believe all the people calling the baby a sociopath, he isn't even two yet! That said, they need to give him consequences or hw will be impossible.
Sally Horrocks 11 months ago
I find it hard to believe that the paramedics told her she could press charges.
The Starsong Princess 11 months ago
Because they didn’t. Pushing a child away while they are piercing your eardrum won’t get you charged. OP is lucky they didn’t get sued and they might yet. Her home insurance will cover it and I guess it will pay for the schooling. The teenager was foolish to wear the headband but I suspect the kid would have found something else to poke her with because no house is 100% child proofed. I’m also willing to bet OP said nothing about the headband.
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Nils Skirnir 11 months ago
A punctured eardrum is painful and doubly so if stabbed. The kid needs some parenting. It’s probably time for the student to get a part time job and live elsewhere to finish school. Even if the commute is longer.
Say No to Downvoting 11 months ago
Some of these details sound a bit embellished. I’ve been a first time mum - I get how OP feels that she can’t do a lot of things with her toddler around and asks for help from the sister, but I do wonder how she’ll cope without her? OP also doesn’t sound particularly confident in guiding the toddlers behaviour, either, but, again what first time parent (or any parent ) is? They do sound just a bit pedantic, though. I have had 3 quite feral toddlers, all close in age, and while I didn’t wear delicate necklaces or dangley earrings for about a decade due to the potential for them being grabbed, I never felt compelled to never wear a plastic headband on the freakish off-chance that it might be grabbed from my head and jabbed in my ear while I was doing something on my phone for a quick minute (which, by the way, is a normal and necessary thing parents often have to do, anyway). The story sounds a bit contrived and OP sounds a bit painful.
V 11 months ago
My nephew was one of those toddlers who you could not wear anything with any embellishments or any jewellery, nothing shiny or sparkly, or it was getting grabbed violently. He's a well behaved (for a five year old) kid now.
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meeeeeeeeeeee 11 months ago
I've never had my eardrum pierced...can you imagine the pain? She likely dropped the baby as a reflex. Not great but it's not an actual abuse situation and no one in their right mind would have thought hmm, if my headband is in reach of the baby I might have my eardrum pierced. lol
Yu Pan 11 months ago (edited)
I'm just confused: what plastic headband thing and how did it rupture ear drum? It on her head and somehow she didn't feel he grabbed it? And a toddler has the motor skill, precision and strength to shove it into her ear without her noticing him grabbing it from her head and moving so close to her enough to stab her? If it's a toddler grabbing necklace or pulling earrings, sure, or even taking the headband and maybe poking her eyes or her nostrils, but a toddler stabbing an adult with a plastic headband like Chucky sounds unbelievable to me.
Melissa Harris 11 months ago
It was clearly not an intentional act by the child. He grabbed it and it likely twisted or he waved it in just such a way that it went into to the sister's ear. Freak accident. Things happen.
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LonelyLittleLeafSheep 11 months ago
Wonder how mom's going to juggle her toddler and a hot pot when there's no one else there?
Kitty Cat 11 months ago
I think YTA actually. She was physically injured and did not "throw" your toddler. She probably let go or pushed him away because it's a PAIN RESPONSE. Does that mean she shouldn't be remorseful? Of course not. But accidents do happen, and this was not done out of some violent impulse where she's going to hurt him on purpose. YOU would have had the same physical impulse if YOUR eardrum was ruptured. Do you have any idea how painful that is? You're exaggerating in your title for views no doubt, making it seem as if she chucked him for the fun of it. Whether you owe her a college education is another matter entirely, but it's NOT related to this incident. If you promised her 2 years funding, you should follow through with that. Sinking her life plan bc of an accident is not an equal return for this incident.
Audrey Malone 11 months ago
The title made it sound like she picked up the kid and HURLED him at the wall or something. She knocked him off the couch and he got hurt.
kath morgan 11 months ago
People are very confident that they would behave perfectly while receiving sudden intense pain.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 11 months ago
I dont believe this one.. fhe writing style is off and the story is ridiculous. And the overall "facts" are suspicious at best. Just seems like ridiculous click bait.
Midoribird Aoi 11 months ago
I have suffered eardrum damage. There is no way she did it on purpose.
J. Maxx 11 months ago
As a man, I have cared for children since I was in my teens. I could cook, clean and do laundry with at least three to four little ones under my care—ages from infant to pre-teen. I do not understand parents who cannot do anything without a babysitter. You can't cook or clean because your child wants a hug or is grabbing on to you or is near you?!? What? My mom used to have me on her hip while she vacuumed and mopped floors, and she'd sit me in the laundry basket while she did laundry or have me on my blanket with some toys while she did dishes. Parents nowadays are just weak, whiny, and willfully lazy. Most make babies to have them but are clueless about how to raise them. As to the sister...she screwed up; tossing her a*s out like she purposely abused her nephew was s****y.
Mari 11 months ago
I can't understand it either. Cooking, cleaning, washing you can do with your kids next to you. Let them play on a blanket with their favorite toys and you can do your work. Maybe the first 5 times they will cry or ask for attention but after a few times they will learn that mom is busy. And while doing your work you can talk to them, sing, dance, give them something to eat...
Load More Replies... Helena 11 months ago
Like bumping into anything sharp or hot, your instinct is to get away. And why would you leave someone with so little toddler experience to watch a toddler? That's like having someone with no pet experience to watch your cane corso. It is likely going to end badly
FreeTheUnicorn 11 months ago
She lives with a toddler, that's a pretty decent amount of experience. This was just a freak accident that she didn't handle well. It doesn't really have anything to do with being around kids or not. No necklaces or headbands is pretty extreme, I'm regularly around a 2 yo and a 1 yo and I don't wear earrings when I'm with them, but haven't had an issue that requires anything more than redirecting attention. Had nieces who were toddlers when I was in high school, and spent a lot of time with them, pulled hair and biting was common but death by headband wasn't. OP is over bearing and sister can't handle herself in an emergency.
Load More Replies... Lola July 11 months ago (edited)
I think the mother should have the father shove a pencil in her ear. Then see how excruciatingly painful it is and she will automatically react to get away from the cause of said pain. Her sister forgot to remove her headband. Yes, most likely she was negligently ignoring nephew while being on the phone. A horrible accident, my issue is how ugly this mother's attitude is. Viscous to the point of no Christmas dinners as a big family. Fine remove her from your home, but she's going to be the one who slips up or hubby will & son will get hurt. Kids, accidents.
Petra brown 11 months ago
This was clearly an accident. The kid is 2 years old ...plenty of time for mom and dad to make mistakes that might end with concussions, bruises or broken bones. What then? Mom abandons the kid? Divorces husband? A w4 month old is very much able to learn what is ok and what is not totally without corporal punishment. Clear communication, consistency and consequences that make sense to a 24 month old will do the trick. It seems neither mom nor dad have the tools needed to reign their kid in and safe him from himself. Parenting classes are in order ... until then a few episodes of super nanny might help as well
Petra brown 11 months ago
This was clearly an accident. What will mom do if she or her husband hurt the little one by accident as will happen most certainly ... he is only 2 years old ... plenty of time for mom or dad to make a mistake. Will mom abandon the child or divorce her husband? What clearly is in order and asap are parenting classes for mom and dad. They use the young age of the child as an excuse why he can not be reigned in. That is nonsense. There is no need for corporal punishment only consistency in helping the child understand what is ok and what is not ok. 24 month is old enough to have learned that it is not ok to rip aunties hair out or play with the jewelry she wears. A few episodes of super nanny can be of help too until the parenting classes kick in.
Verena 11 months ago
Has this person ever heard of a play pen? Kids can very easily stay an hour in there, if they get interesting stuff to entertain themselves. The US are the country in which toddlers are put on a leash, so a play pen shouldn't be thst big of a problem.
iseefractals 11 months ago
Ever had a punctured eardrum? It's painful.....add to that pain the threat of having your hearing permanently damaged and i don't think she "threw" the little brat, but reflexively tried to get away from the thing STABBING HER IN THE EAR. I think that deserves repeating. The child was stabbing her in the ear with enough force to puncture her ear drum. Been around a lot of kids in my life, never encountered a single one that did anything like that. Perhaps this "gentle" / youtube parenting method, isn't having a positive influence.....especially when YOU admit that whatever action you're taking is ineffective in changing behavior. Might be time to....ya know, actually be a parent. Raise your voice, show a bit of anger when it's merited....because if all you're getting is laughter in response to your "consequences" you're not doing it right. I sincerely hope the next ear drum the kid punctures is yours, be sure to let everyone know how calm and collected you were.
Crystal Spencer 11 months ago
Like the paramedics know the law. As someone who does know the law, the young sister would not be charged by a fair DA. And if it did slip through, a judge would shut it down so fast. It was an accident. It's called reflex. Toddler stabs eardrum, victim jumps, toddler falls as a result. That equals an accident. Furthermore, I know moms like this because I used to be one. I couldn't physically punish my kids because of my own childhood b.s. but I learned by the time 3rd kid arrived that you have to find a form of discipline or they will just get worse as time goes on. The mom isn't a total a hole because she's a first time mom working off of emotions but she is the a hole in this situation. 19 year old girl forgot her headband was on so she loses everything?! With zero notice?! That's mean.
Pheline 11 months ago
Maybe the child had awakened moments before, and she didn't have time to take the headband off safely. Maybe the sister glanced at her phone because she got a notification. I don't imagine she was casually scrolling—it just doesn't seem likely. I don't believe the paramedics told the OP to press charges. I imagine it was more likely the OP asked if she should and received a non-committal answer more like, “Well… you could press charges … “
Annika Kremer 11 months ago
NAH, but everyone made mistakes and should calm down and talk to each other. The sister was being careless wearing her headband (definitely a mistake, but an easy one to make, similar to forgetting about a workplace safety rule and having an accident). I don't really blame her for the way she reacted to being hurt, that was very probably a reflex and not meant to hurt the poor kid, but it could have been avoided by not being forgetful/negligent in the first place. OP has so far been very kind towards her family, especially her sister, and I hugely appreciate that. It would be a shame to lose that kind of relationship over what was essentially a stupid accident. Hopefully, everyone will be physically fine in a couple of months. Please talk to each other and don't keep fighting over this. Having a good relationship with your siblings is so precious.
Kabuki Kitsune 11 months ago
I remember looking through this post, and I seem to recall that the OP claimed only reluctantly that she disciplines her child, but at the same time took to the comments to defend what he was doing because "how else would he learn".
Christina Rudovitz Deprimo 7 months ago
I have both children and grandchildren. I have never had to remove everything from my body when they are around. Oh he’s a toddler and doesn’t listen. That’s not an excuse.,what happens when he touches the hot stove or pulls a hot pot of water on himself. Get some control before someone serious happens. Definitely YTA.
Aelin Wildfire 11 months ago
I agree that it's natural to push away something that's hurting you, but the sister could have completely avoided ALL unpleasant consequences by being more attentive... Childcare is not something that should ever be half-assed, and this is exactly why. That's why I think the anger is justified, and why I think having her move out would be the best option. The college fund....honestly, depending on how much the medical bills were, I could definitely understand if OP couldn't afford to pay for both of their medical bills (sister's and son's) -and- the tuition. Especially all at the same time. If they -can- afford it, then -maybe- I could see it as going a -little- too far, but they have their own family to think about and provide for....
jaime b 11 months ago
i remember chatting with my sister and the nurse who came to check on her then 1yo son it was a follow up that was recommended because he was a premmie. he was usually a great little toddler but that day he got mad that we were talking to the nurse (i was his babysitter so i was needed encase i noticed something that sister didnt) he smack me right in the face i didnt even realize i hit back til i heard him crying..... then i cried more than him because i smack a baby across the face. the nurse marked down the accident as it happened in front of her then told my sister i doubt he'll ever smack anyone ever again. hes almost 25 now &i still feel theguilt i doubt the sister meant to hurt the child anymore than i did but idk if id trust her again with my child. she was warned against wearing items like this around the child fora reason- i got the same warns from my sister &i warned my SIL when i had kids. all toddlers like shiny things. this child isnt going to grow up evil hes a toddler
Justme Again 11 months ago
The child is undisciplined and her sister is immature. Bad combination. I had a toddler once and never had to tell a caregiver to remove their jewelry and any headband.
Mad McQueen 11 months ago
A paid baby sitter got injured because rule one don't wear s**t he can grab was broken. He grabbed it an stuffed in into her ear. Out of shock she pushed a toddler away. Ok he fell. They bounce. Both were in the wrong. Your paid the bills. She can't hear for half a year. He got a bump an small concussion. Kids are accidents waiting to happen. Get a f*****g nanny to watch him. Leave her alone with the babysitting job. Let her do her school. She should be lucky this family is paying her way an do more around the house. Like clean so you would not have to ask for her help. Or cook. Or go into a diff room to study or play on her phone and ignore the kiddo. Just suck it up as an accident an get a nanny.
Lindsay A 11 months ago (edited)
I would be inclined to go with 'it's a reflex' because of the pain. However, it's not that easy to concuss a toddler (mine fell from 3 feet head first with nary a scratch! Bump was even gone before we got to hospital). There has to be quite a bit of force for it to be an actual concussion... makes me wonder how hard she threw him really
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Sorry but if you get on your phone instead of watching the kid you have been warned will grab at the thing you were told to remove and didn't, and then get harmed, that's 100% on you.
AR 11 months ago
You throw my kid, I’m pressing charges. I know women who have had earrings ripped out by their babies and didn’t throw them. My son almost broke my nose once and I never threw him. I know rupturing an eardrum f*****g hurts, but you NEVER throw a baby. And she did it with force to cause a concussion. My husband slipped on stairs while carrying our baby and dropped him, and our son didn’t have a concussion.
Angela C 11 months ago
Well aren't you just perfect. How's the view from your high horse?
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Birb 11 months ago (edited)
Not true. When i was 2 years old i felt on my head, only a scar on my forehead as result, but no brain damages or permanent effects
Load More Replies... Brazen 11 months ago
I don't believe she "threw" the child. I think what a lot of these people are saying is correct, she might have pushed him away or even dropped him if she was holding him, but that would have been a reflexive thing to do after getting stabbed/jabbed in the ear.
Binky Melnik 11 months ago (edited)
Exactly and moreover, it doesn’t take a lot to hurt a toddler’s head. I don’t believe she flung him, but rather pushed him and his top-heaviness from his big ol’ toddler head caused him to tump over. I absolutely believe she contributed to his concussion, but also don’t Blame her as a punctured eardrum HURTS and she likely reflexively pushed him. I think her sister is overreacting. I also don’t blame her for forgetting to remove her headband as she doesn’t have a toddler and so her thoughts don’t revolve around how she can keep him safe. SHE’S A COLLEGE KID, so her mind is on her exams, grades, and one or more cute classmates. Sister likely forgot what being a child-free student is like!
Load More Replies... Kristen Woehlke 11 months ago
I hate to go with the YTA trolls, but upon the child waking up, the girl could have just forgotten to take the headband off and then disaster struck. Yeah, she should have immediately taken it off when it was initially recommended and now we are brought to this outcome. I don't believe she "threw" the child, because after that shock of pain, I'd have launched him!
Uncle Schmickle 11 months ago
From what I've read here, there are 2 separate issues which are not related. One is looking after your sister and paying for everything, for which I trust she's grateful. The other is the accident. This seems to have been quite a shock for your sister, who reflexly reacted to the pain in her ear. Sounds like the toddler accidentally fell to the floor when your sister jerked away from him. I'm sure she's terribly remorseful for what happened. Had it been me, I would have felt terrible, but at the same time, worried as hell that I may have lost hearing permanently in that ear.
Laura Wyatt 11 months ago
She said in her original post that her parents helped pay for her husband's college. Can you imagine a world where you have 2 kids and pay for the older kid's significant other's college with NO plans to pay for your younger kid's tuition? So mom pays for hubbys school. Kid one and hubby are doing great financially (because of that help). And now there's no college funds for kid 2? Most people wouldn't put up a sibling free and pay for school no strings attached. Seems to me that there is much more to that part of the story. Like "give us Sally's college fund and we will pay for Sally's school later." Or something. And if the younger sister has no $$$ from her parents for school but they paid for HIS school-seems to me that that maybe there is at least a moral obligation to pay it forward. I agree with many that the kiddo getting dropped was likely an unconscious knee-jerk reaction and not done out of anger or intentionally. Mom
Load More Replies... Melissa Harris 11 months ago (edited)
This was a freak accident. Could have happened to anyone. The OP is going to blow up her entire family over a simple mistake and a instinctual reaction. The OPs parents can't pay for her sister's tuition because they paid for her husband's. If she won't "pay it forward" to her sister they might ask her and her husband repay them so they can pay her sister's tuition. Her sister is only going to remember she was kicked out after being injured by a toddler that hasn't been taught not to grab (or cling). Honestly, she's setting herself up to have someone in the family rub it in her face at some point in the future when she or her husband enevitablly make a small mistake and there's another mishap or accident. She's setting herself up to have to be a perfect 'supermom'; which, doesn't exist. Also, if your toddler laughs when you're trying to discipline them you're not doing it right. You don't need to resort to physical assult (spanking) to discipline a child. It's about making the child understand that you're upset and what they've done has upset you. The OP sounds like she should read some parenting books on how to communicate with toddlers in an emotionally intelligent way.
Julia H 10 months ago
They both had different knee jerk reactions. I'm hoping cooler heads prevail
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 11 months ago
Can't believe all the people calling the baby a sociopath, he isn't even two yet! That said, they need to give him consequences or hw will be impossible.
Sally Horrocks 11 months ago
I find it hard to believe that the paramedics told her she could press charges.
The Starsong Princess 11 months ago
Because they didn’t. Pushing a child away while they are piercing your eardrum won’t get you charged. OP is lucky they didn’t get sued and they might yet. Her home insurance will cover it and I guess it will pay for the schooling. The teenager was foolish to wear the headband but I suspect the kid would have found something else to poke her with because no house is 100% child proofed. I’m also willing to bet OP said nothing about the headband.
Load More Replies... Nils Skirnir 11 months ago
A punctured eardrum is painful and doubly so if stabbed. The kid needs some parenting. It’s probably time for the student to get a part time job and live elsewhere to finish school. Even if the commute is longer.
Say No to Downvoting 11 months ago
Some of these details sound a bit embellished. I’ve been a first time mum - I get how OP feels that she can’t do a lot of things with her toddler around and asks for help from the sister, but I do wonder how she’ll cope without her? OP also doesn’t sound particularly confident in guiding the toddlers behaviour, either, but, again what first time parent (or any parent ) is? They do sound just a bit pedantic, though. I have had 3 quite feral toddlers, all close in age, and while I didn’t wear delicate necklaces or dangley earrings for about a decade due to the potential for them being grabbed, I never felt compelled to never wear a plastic headband on the freakish off-chance that it might be grabbed from my head and jabbed in my ear while I was doing something on my phone for a quick minute (which, by the way, is a normal and necessary thing parents often have to do, anyway). The story sounds a bit contrived and OP sounds a bit painful.
V 11 months ago
My nephew was one of those toddlers who you could not wear anything with any embellishments or any jewellery, nothing shiny or sparkly, or it was getting grabbed violently. He's a well behaved (for a five year old) kid now.
Load More Replies... meeeeeeeeeeee 11 months ago
I've never had my eardrum pierced...can you imagine the pain? She likely dropped the baby as a reflex. Not great but it's not an actual abuse situation and no one in their right mind would have thought hmm, if my headband is in reach of the baby I might have my eardrum pierced. lol
Yu Pan 11 months ago (edited)
I'm just confused: what plastic headband thing and how did it rupture ear drum? It on her head and somehow she didn't feel he grabbed it? And a toddler has the motor skill, precision and strength to shove it into her ear without her noticing him grabbing it from her head and moving so close to her enough to stab her? If it's a toddler grabbing necklace or pulling earrings, sure, or even taking the headband and maybe poking her eyes or her nostrils, but a toddler stabbing an adult with a plastic headband like Chucky sounds unbelievable to me.
Melissa Harris 11 months ago
It was clearly not an intentional act by the child. He grabbed it and it likely twisted or he waved it in just such a way that it went into to the sister's ear. Freak accident. Things happen.
Load More Replies... LonelyLittleLeafSheep 11 months ago
Wonder how mom's going to juggle her toddler and a hot pot when there's no one else there?
Kitty Cat 11 months ago
I think YTA actually. She was physically injured and did not "throw" your toddler. She probably let go or pushed him away because it's a PAIN RESPONSE. Does that mean she shouldn't be remorseful? Of course not. But accidents do happen, and this was not done out of some violent impulse where she's going to hurt him on purpose. YOU would have had the same physical impulse if YOUR eardrum was ruptured. Do you have any idea how painful that is? You're exaggerating in your title for views no doubt, making it seem as if she chucked him for the fun of it. Whether you owe her a college education is another matter entirely, but it's NOT related to this incident. If you promised her 2 years funding, you should follow through with that. Sinking her life plan bc of an accident is not an equal return for this incident.
Audrey Malone 11 months ago
The title made it sound like she picked up the kid and HURLED him at the wall or something. She knocked him off the couch and he got hurt.
kath morgan 11 months ago
People are very confident that they would behave perfectly while receiving sudden intense pain.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 11 months ago
I dont believe this one.. fhe writing style is off and the story is ridiculous. And the overall "facts" are suspicious at best. Just seems like ridiculous click bait.
Midoribird Aoi 11 months ago
I have suffered eardrum damage. There is no way she did it on purpose.
J. Maxx 11 months ago
As a man, I have cared for children since I was in my teens. I could cook, clean and do laundry with at least three to four little ones under my care—ages from infant to pre-teen. I do not understand parents who cannot do anything without a babysitter. You can't cook or clean because your child wants a hug or is grabbing on to you or is near you?!? What? My mom used to have me on her hip while she vacuumed and mopped floors, and she'd sit me in the laundry basket while she did laundry or have me on my blanket with some toys while she did dishes. Parents nowadays are just weak, whiny, and willfully lazy. Most make babies to have them but are clueless about how to raise them. As to the sister...she screwed up; tossing her a*s out like she purposely abused her nephew was s****y.
Mari 11 months ago
I can't understand it either. Cooking, cleaning, washing you can do with your kids next to you. Let them play on a blanket with their favorite toys and you can do your work. Maybe the first 5 times they will cry or ask for attention but after a few times they will learn that mom is busy. And while doing your work you can talk to them, sing, dance, give them something to eat...
Load More Replies... Helena 11 months ago
Like bumping into anything sharp or hot, your instinct is to get away. And why would you leave someone with so little toddler experience to watch a toddler? That's like having someone with no pet experience to watch your cane corso. It is likely going to end badly
FreeTheUnicorn 11 months ago
She lives with a toddler, that's a pretty decent amount of experience. This was just a freak accident that she didn't handle well. It doesn't really have anything to do with being around kids or not. No necklaces or headbands is pretty extreme, I'm regularly around a 2 yo and a 1 yo and I don't wear earrings when I'm with them, but haven't had an issue that requires anything more than redirecting attention. Had nieces who were toddlers when I was in high school, and spent a lot of time with them, pulled hair and biting was common but death by headband wasn't. OP is over bearing and sister can't handle herself in an emergency.
Load More Replies... Lola July 11 months ago (edited)
I think the mother should have the father shove a pencil in her ear. Then see how excruciatingly painful it is and she will automatically react to get away from the cause of said pain. Her sister forgot to remove her headband. Yes, most likely she was negligently ignoring nephew while being on the phone. A horrible accident, my issue is how ugly this mother's attitude is. Viscous to the point of no Christmas dinners as a big family. Fine remove her from your home, but she's going to be the one who slips up or hubby will & son will get hurt. Kids, accidents.
Petra brown 11 months ago
This was clearly an accident. The kid is 2 years old ...plenty of time for mom and dad to make mistakes that might end with concussions, bruises or broken bones. What then? Mom abandons the kid? Divorces husband? A w4 month old is very much able to learn what is ok and what is not totally without corporal punishment. Clear communication, consistency and consequences that make sense to a 24 month old will do the trick. It seems neither mom nor dad have the tools needed to reign their kid in and safe him from himself. Parenting classes are in order ... until then a few episodes of super nanny might help as well
Petra brown 11 months ago
This was clearly an accident. What will mom do if she or her husband hurt the little one by accident as will happen most certainly ... he is only 2 years old ... plenty of time for mom or dad to make a mistake. Will mom abandon the child or divorce her husband? What clearly is in order and asap are parenting classes for mom and dad. They use the young age of the child as an excuse why he can not be reigned in. That is nonsense. There is no need for corporal punishment only consistency in helping the child understand what is ok and what is not ok. 24 month is old enough to have learned that it is not ok to rip aunties hair out or play with the jewelry she wears. A few episodes of super nanny can be of help too until the parenting classes kick in.
Verena 11 months ago
Has this person ever heard of a play pen? Kids can very easily stay an hour in there, if they get interesting stuff to entertain themselves. The US are the country in which toddlers are put on a leash, so a play pen shouldn't be thst big of a problem.
iseefractals 11 months ago
Ever had a punctured eardrum? It's painful.....add to that pain the threat of having your hearing permanently damaged and i don't think she "threw" the little brat, but reflexively tried to get away from the thing STABBING HER IN THE EAR. I think that deserves repeating. The child was stabbing her in the ear with enough force to puncture her ear drum. Been around a lot of kids in my life, never encountered a single one that did anything like that. Perhaps this "gentle" / youtube parenting method, isn't having a positive influence.....especially when YOU admit that whatever action you're taking is ineffective in changing behavior. Might be time to....ya know, actually be a parent. Raise your voice, show a bit of anger when it's merited....because if all you're getting is laughter in response to your "consequences" you're not doing it right. I sincerely hope the next ear drum the kid punctures is yours, be sure to let everyone know how calm and collected you were.
Crystal Spencer 11 months ago
Like the paramedics know the law. As someone who does know the law, the young sister would not be charged by a fair DA. And if it did slip through, a judge would shut it down so fast. It was an accident. It's called reflex. Toddler stabs eardrum, victim jumps, toddler falls as a result. That equals an accident. Furthermore, I know moms like this because I used to be one. I couldn't physically punish my kids because of my own childhood b.s. but I learned by the time 3rd kid arrived that you have to find a form of discipline or they will just get worse as time goes on. The mom isn't a total a hole because she's a first time mom working off of emotions but she is the a hole in this situation. 19 year old girl forgot her headband was on so she loses everything?! With zero notice?! That's mean.
Pheline 11 months ago
Maybe the child had awakened moments before, and she didn't have time to take the headband off safely. Maybe the sister glanced at her phone because she got a notification. I don't imagine she was casually scrolling—it just doesn't seem likely. I don't believe the paramedics told the OP to press charges. I imagine it was more likely the OP asked if she should and received a non-committal answer more like, “Well… you could press charges … “
Annika Kremer 11 months ago
NAH, but everyone made mistakes and should calm down and talk to each other. The sister was being careless wearing her headband (definitely a mistake, but an easy one to make, similar to forgetting about a workplace safety rule and having an accident). I don't really blame her for the way she reacted to being hurt, that was very probably a reflex and not meant to hurt the poor kid, but it could have been avoided by not being forgetful/negligent in the first place. OP has so far been very kind towards her family, especially her sister, and I hugely appreciate that. It would be a shame to lose that kind of relationship over what was essentially a stupid accident. Hopefully, everyone will be physically fine in a couple of months. Please talk to each other and don't keep fighting over this. Having a good relationship with your siblings is so precious.
Kabuki Kitsune 11 months ago
I remember looking through this post, and I seem to recall that the OP claimed only reluctantly that she disciplines her child, but at the same time took to the comments to defend what he was doing because "how else would he learn".
Christina Rudovitz Deprimo 7 months ago
I have both children and grandchildren. I have never had to remove everything from my body when they are around. Oh he’s a toddler and doesn’t listen. That’s not an excuse.,what happens when he touches the hot stove or pulls a hot pot of water on himself. Get some control before someone serious happens. Definitely YTA.
Aelin Wildfire 11 months ago
I agree that it's natural to push away something that's hurting you, but the sister could have completely avoided ALL unpleasant consequences by being more attentive... Childcare is not something that should ever be half-assed, and this is exactly why. That's why I think the anger is justified, and why I think having her move out would be the best option. The college fund....honestly, depending on how much the medical bills were, I could definitely understand if OP couldn't afford to pay for both of their medical bills (sister's and son's) -and- the tuition. Especially all at the same time. If they -can- afford it, then -maybe- I could see it as going a -little- too far, but they have their own family to think about and provide for....
jaime b 11 months ago
i remember chatting with my sister and the nurse who came to check on her then 1yo son it was a follow up that was recommended because he was a premmie. he was usually a great little toddler but that day he got mad that we were talking to the nurse (i was his babysitter so i was needed encase i noticed something that sister didnt) he smack me right in the face i didnt even realize i hit back til i heard him crying..... then i cried more than him because i smack a baby across the face. the nurse marked down the accident as it happened in front of her then told my sister i doubt he'll ever smack anyone ever again. hes almost 25 now &i still feel theguilt i doubt the sister meant to hurt the child anymore than i did but idk if id trust her again with my child. she was warned against wearing items like this around the child fora reason- i got the same warns from my sister &i warned my SIL when i had kids. all toddlers like shiny things. this child isnt going to grow up evil hes a toddler
Justme Again 11 months ago
The child is undisciplined and her sister is immature. Bad combination. I had a toddler once and never had to tell a caregiver to remove their jewelry and any headband.
Mad McQueen 11 months ago
A paid baby sitter got injured because rule one don't wear s**t he can grab was broken. He grabbed it an stuffed in into her ear. Out of shock she pushed a toddler away. Ok he fell. They bounce. Both were in the wrong. Your paid the bills. She can't hear for half a year. He got a bump an small concussion. Kids are accidents waiting to happen. Get a f*****g nanny to watch him. Leave her alone with the babysitting job. Let her do her school. She should be lucky this family is paying her way an do more around the house. Like clean so you would not have to ask for her help. Or cook. Or go into a diff room to study or play on her phone and ignore the kiddo. Just suck it up as an accident an get a nanny.
Lindsay A 11 months ago (edited)
I would be inclined to go with 'it's a reflex' because of the pain. However, it's not that easy to concuss a toddler (mine fell from 3 feet head first with nary a scratch! Bump was even gone before we got to hospital). There has to be quite a bit of force for it to be an actual concussion... makes me wonder how hard she threw him really
KatSaidWhat 11 months ago
Sorry but if you get on your phone instead of watching the kid you have been warned will grab at the thing you were told to remove and didn't, and then get harmed, that's 100% on you.
AR 11 months ago
You throw my kid, I’m pressing charges. I know women who have had earrings ripped out by their babies and didn’t throw them. My son almost broke my nose once and I never threw him. I know rupturing an eardrum f*****g hurts, but you NEVER throw a baby. And she did it with force to cause a concussion. My husband slipped on stairs while carrying our baby and dropped him, and our son didn’t have a concussion.
Angela C 11 months ago
Well aren't you just perfect. How's the view from your high horse?
Load More Replies... Birb 11 months ago (edited)
Not true. When i was 2 years old i felt on my head, only a scar on my forehead as result, but no brain damages or permanent effects
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