Woman Refuses To Cover Her Scar After It Triggers Her Friend At The Beach, Drama Ensues

Ho boy. Dana would flip out if she saw me with my various scars as a terminal cancer patient. I live by the sea and am going to enjoy what time I have left. I may be wrong, but Dana appears to want attention. My son NEVER discusses my illness.

Dana is a Freaking drama queen grow up

Main character syndrome on display, me, me, me. What if people commenting on your Scar is a trigger to your self esteem that you are working really hard to repair? It's not all about her, the world is full of people dealing with harsh issues and realities, she can sod off.

The evening my dad passed away in the hospital, my sister and I went to the McDonalds next door while we waited for them to give us a death certificate. It was closing time and one of the coffee makers was making a beeping sound that made me think of my dad in the hospital, hooked up to machines. I looked at my sister and I saw she was distressed as well. So I asked her to come outside for a walk while our friends picked up our order. Never in my state of almost panic did I even think to ask the employees there to turn off their machines so that I could continue sitting there. It seemed like the most unreasonable request to make and it was just easier for us to get ourselves out of there.

I have scars and if someone asked me to cover them up (not that I flash them around, either), I would find it extremely offensive. This girl took a long time to come to terms with her scar, and now she feels confident enough to reveal it, the last thing she needs is someone asking her to hide it. Yes, she could sympathise with Dana, but she's under no obligation to hide the scar because it makes her uncomfortable. For the OP it's a reminder that she survived, and Dana should respect that too - and sit on the other side of her if it bothers her.

OP was finally comfortable with her scar.Dana nobody is asking you to stare at it.

Her circus, her monkeys. Each of us has to deal with his/her demons as we can. Other people have their problems, too, and are not obliged to cater for our whims. If you feel "triggered", go home.

I have a massive scar on my left arm, running from under my thumb to 3/4 up my forearm from a hand operation 6 years ago. I won’t cover it up because it reminds me how damn lucky I am to still have a working hand. My daughter calls it my battle scar and it was a battle to get through the healing and rehab. Scars are scars, so if you don’t like it, don’t look!

Hell, the scar could be the result of a cleaned up dog bite, shark attack, knife fight, etc. Move on trigger-girl, move on!

So, if Dana was "triggered" by crutches, would it be ok if she declared that disabled people can't use them?

This is very much a Dana problem. Asking someone to cover a scar is a huge overstep in boundaries and I would be very firm with my response.

A scar is a scar and can not be recognised as a biopsy, it's just a scar.

My mom found my 48-year-old brother deceased in his bed in the house right beside mine. We didn't demolish it, and I haven't moved because it's a painful reminder. We still have it because it's also a source of many happy memories. The "friend" sounds like one of those people who is "triggered" by any and everything and wants to stir something up for her own benefit. Pure attention-seeking behavior.

While my heart goes out to Dana, considering her situation, asking someone who has survived cancer to cover up the evidence of that survival, as though covering up, that evidence will benefit both of them in any way seems insensitive. This young lady has every right to acknowledge her survival as much as her friend has the right to navigate the uncertainty of her mother’s pain. On the off chance that either of them read this, I hope they see I am praying for both of them.

i have so many scars that some of my body looks like a road map. and, i wear them proudly. some are from surgeries of a serious nature while others are souvenirs of mishaps during adventures. my arms in particular are crisscrossed with scars from working with animals, mostly rescue dogs, teaching them that hands don't always hurt. each one has a story and they are out for all to see. also have metal from the hips down as well in my jaw. i'm a lot of fun going through the airport.

Dana is completely bonkers.

my cousin passed away in a car crash. i dont ask people to stop driving cars because its too "triggering" for me to see cars. Dana may be going through it but thats on her to deal with.

I liked the comment someone said about asking a bald person to hide it. I'm bald. However, I didn't wake up one day and decide I'll shave my head and be cool. (no offense intended to anyone who did) I *earned* my bald head through chemo and a bone-marrow transplant. I'm healthy now; going on 19 years after my fun times (I highly don't recommend it - I joked with the nurses during chemo "if I'd known how much work it would be I never would've gotten cancer" :) Even made up t-shirts printed with that. Cancer sucks, and we're fortunately making progress; far too slowly, but at least bit by bit. Best of luck to anyone dealing with it - my advice is *drink lots*! It's really hard to drink enough - I passed out walking to the bathroom because I ended up dehydrated and constipated. Woke up and met the nice EMTs and got a wonderful (not!) ride to the hospital. Drink, drink, drink and drink more (popsicles, Jell-O, and things like that count, too).

Know what triggers me, folks with f*****g triggers.

Dana's snowflake trigger reaction was totally in the wrong, and OP is NTA. She needn't apologize. BUT Dana looks like she needs a friend. Her father just died, and her mother may too. She's only in her early 20's. OP had her own cancer scare; she should maybe talk to her. My fellow BP readers seem a little too callous about this one.

I'm so sick and tired of all these self-entitled people nowadays. It's getting so ridiculous

I hope she didn't apologize because she did nothing wrong,. The person who demanded she cover it was way outta line

I'm a guy with two really bad, large scars from abdominal surgeries. One of them is really bad but I'm not covering up for anyone. If you don't like the way they look, just don't look at me or move. FOH trying to tell anyone to cover up, especially because they're triggering for you.

I'd go with NAH, which seems to be a minority opinion. I agree that if something bothers you then it's your responsibility to deal with it. But - AS A GENERAL RULE - I don't think it's villainous to ask politely if someone can accommodate as long as you 100% accept a "no" answer - which Dana did. She asked, the answer was no, she carried on. She handled it herself (as everyone is saying she should do) by avoiding OP's scar from that point on. And there's no indication that she complained about it later, only that she mentioned it. This hardly makes her a bad person. Now, the fact that the thing in question was a scar which could affect OP's self-confidence makes Dana a bit of an AH, but I'd give her the pass on that since this is a very new issue for her, looming large in her head. So again, no AH here, in my opinion.

People need to stop making their personal issues into the issues of everyone else. If you have a problem with scars then you need to remove yourself, not make then cover up. It's got to the stage of being a standing joke of snowflake personality. It's neither attractive or necessary and makes you look completely unreasonable

If you had a cancer scare, maybe laying out in ionizing, cancer-causing solar radiation to "get a tan" isn't the best idea. Granted, I diagnose skin cancer for a living, so I might be biased against tanning. Don't do it.

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if she was just some rando, i would tell her to f**k off. If she was just somewhat of a friend that demanded this, id tell her to f**k off. But as she's about to lose her mom of cancer, and as i dont see her that often anyway, id cover up that ONE time. I thought that people who went through cancer (scares) were WAY more compassionate to others in the same situation. :-(