Woman Quits Baking For Colleagues After They Give Her A Nickname She Dislikes

Plenty of people go by nicknames in their personal lives, but should the same apply to work settings? While some may feel closer to their colleagues when referring to them by a moniker, this can be tricky in professional environments, causing others to abstain from them. 

In this workplace, it seems that employees were comfortable using nicknames with each other. But it all turned awkward when they gave a woman one she didn’t like, and she was forced to shut it down.

Using nicknames in professional settings is tricky

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This woman didn’t like hers, which made everything awkward with her colleagues after she shut it down

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9 out of 10 US adults have been called by a nickname at work

Woman in office making things awkward at work, talking with colleagues after stopping baking over a nickname issue.

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Per Harvard Business Review, nearly 9 out of 10 US adults have been called by a nickname at work or witnessed someone else being called by a moniker. This might seem like a trivial thing, but it can have a big impact on an employee’s experience at work, for better or worse. 

“The existing literature suggests that nicknames serve as an emotional bond, which can facilitate and improve interpersonal relationships,” says Ivey assistant professor of marketing, Zhe Zhang. Employee nicknames can also help foster belonging in the workplace, but at the same time they can also have negative consequences if they’re not used appropriately. 

“Friendly and well-intentioned nicknames at work do not always lead to better relationships,” Zhang told Fast Company.

Nicknaming colleagues is tricky because of the power disparities involved that we don’t find in our everyday relationships. But their nicknames can be used in professional settings while keeping a few important things in mind. 

According to Zhang’s study, the first rule to nicknaming colleagues is that managers shouldn’t give their employees monikers. “Because there is a power disparity between the supervisor and the subordinate, nicknaming a subordinate may make the manager seem like they are abusing their power,” Zhang explains.

Another thing to consider when thinking about whether to give your colleague a nickname is the organization as a whole. Monikers are usually associated with flexible, horizontal and egalitarian companies but are typically deemed inappropriate in pyramid-shaped organizations where power disparities are very present. 

“It’s always best to seek one’s consent before using a nickname”

Two male colleagues smiling and chatting in a modern office discussing work and making things awkward at work.

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Overall the best approach to colleague nicknames, according to Zhang, is simply asking. “When in doubt, it’s always best to seek one’s consent before using a nickname.” This ensures that they feel respected and comfortable with how they are called in the workplace. 

“Nicknames in the workplace aren’t for everyone, and leaders should exercise caution when using them with subordinates,” additionally notes Zhang.

Never assume that an employee is comfortable with a moniker, as it can lead to discomfort, strained work relationships and even HR or legal concerns. A simple check-in is all it takes to ensure that a colleague feels good with the way they’re addressed by co-workers. 

In case a person is nicknamed without being asked their preference at work, they politely say something along the lines of, “Actually, I prefer to be called Alexandra rather than Alex.”

This should be done as early as possible so the nickname doesn’t catch on. “If you don’t like being called by a nickname, you really need to nip it in the bud. You don’t need to go into the reasons why; it should be sufficient simply to ask politely for it not to be used,” Liz Wyse, an etiquette adviser, recommended. “All attempts to stop people calling you by a nickname should be made in the first couple of months.”

Most readers believed the woman wasn’t overreacting

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While some thought she might be overacting a little bit

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