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Woman Goes With Her Plans Of The Day Despite Sister Bringing Her Kids To Babysit, Causes Drama
For parents, finding childcare is one of the most difficult tasks of having kids. Some parents can’t even work full time because of it. In a 2023 poll, a quarter of American parents said either they or a family member had to miss work because of childcare issues.
Family members can sometimes help, but it should never be done against their own wishes. That’s why after this woman repeatedly told her sister she wouldn’t babysit and left when the kids were still brought to her house, many people cheered. “Call CPS next time,” one netizen commented, highlighting how some parents falsely assume family members will look after their kids.
RELATED:
A woman told her sister she would not babysit her kids, yet she still brought them to her house just as she was leaving
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Standing her ground, she went out with her friends just as planned, leaving a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old home alone
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
Family members might need to hear a firm “No” if they are to respect boundaries
The most common advice for parents who can’t find childcare is to ask family members for a favor. Grandparents are a big source of help for many busy parents, as 52% of American grandparents say they look after their grandkids at least a few hours per week.
Parents trust family members with childcare because they trust them. Family is an important concept in our culture, and it dictates that supporting family members should be a given. However, not all families are equal, and each family comes with their own, sometimes toxic, dynamics.
Some family members might expect that favors and acts of kindness are a given between families. When a sibling asks to babysit their kids, we might agree without thinking because we feel obligated. But mental health experts say that it’s okay to say ‘No’ sometimes.
Mabel Yiu, MFT, explained to ThriveWorks that doing favors for family members shouldn’t come with resentment. “If you have a friend or family member who is always expecting you to run errands or always wants to borrow money from you, let them know that ends now.”
“Tell them nicely yet firmly that you are not comfortable helping in this way anymore. They may get mad for a little while, but eventually, they will learn to respect your time and energy,” Yiu recommended.
There’s nothing wrong with asking family members for help, but taking them for granted can be hurtful and build resentment easily. Respecting boundaries is just as important a personality trait as lending loved ones a hand.
Image credits: 🐣 Luca Iaconelli 🦊/ Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Guilt often prevents us from saying ‘No,’ but here’s how we can get rid of it
Have you ever had that one friend or family member that asks for favors too often? That one person to whom it’s always hard to say “No” to? The truth is that we’re socially conditioned to want to belong and feel like we’re good people.
An associate professor of organizational behavior at Cornell, Vanessa Bohns says that these two things prevent us from saying “No” when we’re asked for help. “And saying no to someone, rejecting someone who needs our help, goes against both of those things,” she explained to The New York Times.
Guilt often drives people to agree to favors they’re not particularly excited about. Licensed psychologist Helene Brenner, PhD, explained to Well And Good that to ease the guilt after saying “No,” we can ask ourselves: “Will disaster strike if I say ‘No’?”
“More likely, the person who asked you may be temporarily at a loss as to what to do, but will then find some other way to meet whatever need you were fulfilling.”
There’s also nuance to rejecting someone’s request for a favor. When it’s family members, feelings can get hurt really fast, so it’s best to be straightforward but kind. “Try to say no in the most caring way possible: ‘I’m so sorry. I would love to help you with that. But I am so ridiculously busy right now, I just can’t,'” Brenner says, suggesting a possible script.
Many people blamed the mother for not listening to her sister: “She abandoned her children”
Others, however, pointed out that leaving the kids alone was very irresponsible
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What do you think ?
Gwyn 8 months ago
It's not clear whether OP lives alone or with her parents, and whether parents were in house when she left the kids.
StumblingThroughLife 8 months ago
I never thought of that 👍. If that was the case - her parents being at home, then I'm 100% on the side of the OP.
Load More Replies...
StumblingThroughLife 8 months ago (edited)
Leaving after the kids were left was a bad move, regardless - as safety issues were very high, when you consider the ages of the kids. She should have left prior to the arrival of her sister - or not answered the door if it was locked and the sister didn't have a key, so NTA not wanting to babysit, and YTA for leaving very young kids alone in the house... Nothing was mentioned how far the parents were from the house (as far as I can see), and it could have been a fair while.
Catlady6000 8 months ago
Don't understand why you were downvoted. That was my only problem as well. You don't ever leave a 5yr old and a 3yr old alone. It's just too dangerous. I would called the police. Hopefully the dad or grandpa6got there quickly
Load More Replies...
Hope Tirendi 8 months ago
Wrong for leaving two small kids alone and you should have walked out AS SOON as she got there. Even if you had your friends pick you up down the street. Then she had no choice but to keep her own kids. I'm also curious what the hubby thought about the whole thing. He has to know the sisters hate each other yet her and her mom thought it was a good idea to force OP to babysit???
Maureen Dance 7 months ago
Could just as easily have been a mani-pedi appointment.
Load More Replies...
Bina Wei 8 months ago (edited)
Personally, I would have called the non emergency police line whilst the sister was still there and told them everything, that she's threatening to leave the kids here against my will and they're about to be abandoned without an adult. Harsh but.. kids that young need guardianship and if the sister isn't gonna do it, it's not safe to leave them alone. Nor legal at that age. (Most places it is 12 for a few hours.) My concern would be safety but most of the time, if I'm going out, it's not for fun but medical or legally required for my pay appointments. Regardless of the reason, OP didn't agree. Edit: Dang typos :p
Patrick H 8 months ago (edited)
OP should have left before the sister arrived or before the sister could leave the kids behind. Once OP allowed the sister to leave without the children, they became OP's responsibility, even if the sister was a àsshole to do that. OP could try calling the police or CPS, but the chances are that they would still leave them with her since she is an actual family member. Leaving those innocent kids by themselves was criminal, so OP is quite the àsshole, too. It's even worse that she made her friends complicit in her crime, as well.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
She should NOT have left those little kids alone. Her sister sounds like she turned into a jealous b***h when this girl was born because she didn't get all of the attn anymore. You don't dump your kids on somebody especially after they said no. Grandma also never should have volunteered her to babysit.
silverfish imperitrix 8 months ago
I wouldn't have let them through the door. Leave sis and her kids standing on the porch.
Melissa anderson 8 months ago
Sister should not have kids unless she’s willing to take care of them. She’s to arrogant and entitled to understand a simple two letter word like NO!
ADDchallengedINFP-T 7 months ago (edited)
Next time, as soon as you have been told to babysit. lock the doors, don't answer the phone, as if you were not at home. Or, as soon as you hear of the babysitting, leave your home, go for a walk, coffee, whatever. don't answer the phone. I hope the sister doesn't have a key to your home. If you have a car, drive off to oblivion. No explanation needed "I have other plans". Nada, zip, no, and no.
JP 7 months ago
I have problems with this one. Good on the OP for putting her foot down and keeping her boundaries intact. But, OP abandoned those kids, too! At that point, she's just as guilty as her sister. Call the police. Call CPS. Leave before her sister shows up. There were so many ways to handle this situation that didn't involve leaving a 5 & 3 yo alone. And, the OPs mom is guilty too, though to a slightly lesser degree. All involved in this tale fall under YTAs. Poor kids.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
I'm kind of curious if sister was out of options because she had pulled this on other people and that was why sis HAD to do it.
Kate Johnson 8 months ago
Call CPS. She's clearly an incompetent parent if she's pulling something like this, who knows what else she's doing?
Carey Truitt 8 months ago
Definitely should have called cps how much clearer could you have made it when you said no multiple times
Iris Collins 8 months ago
If I'm being told I'm babysitting for a sister I don't talk to, I'd be asking what's wrong with them, that I of all people just HAVE to babysit all of a sudden.
dewittjoy 8 months ago
NTA but she should have either not been home when her sister arrived with the kids, or locked her doors and refused to answer when she got there. She also could have walked out when she got there & called her friends to pick her up down the street. I can’t imagine anyone so brazen & non caring as to try to force her sister to keep her kids, when she was clearly telling her no. I would never have left my children with someone who didn’t want to keep them. The grandmother is also a piece of work for ignoring her daughter’s very clear refusal.
Gwyn 8 months ago
It's not clear whether OP lives alone or with her parents, and whether parents were in house when she left the kids.
StumblingThroughLife 8 months ago
I never thought of that 👍. If that was the case - her parents being at home, then I'm 100% on the side of the OP.
Load More Replies... StumblingThroughLife 8 months ago (edited)
Leaving after the kids were left was a bad move, regardless - as safety issues were very high, when you consider the ages of the kids. She should have left prior to the arrival of her sister - or not answered the door if it was locked and the sister didn't have a key, so NTA not wanting to babysit, and YTA for leaving very young kids alone in the house... Nothing was mentioned how far the parents were from the house (as far as I can see), and it could have been a fair while.
Catlady6000 8 months ago
Don't understand why you were downvoted. That was my only problem as well. You don't ever leave a 5yr old and a 3yr old alone. It's just too dangerous. I would called the police. Hopefully the dad or grandpa6got there quickly
Load More Replies... Hope Tirendi 8 months ago
Wrong for leaving two small kids alone and you should have walked out AS SOON as she got there. Even if you had your friends pick you up down the street. Then she had no choice but to keep her own kids. I'm also curious what the hubby thought about the whole thing. He has to know the sisters hate each other yet her and her mom thought it was a good idea to force OP to babysit???
Maureen Dance 7 months ago
Could just as easily have been a mani-pedi appointment.
Load More Replies... Bina Wei 8 months ago (edited)
Personally, I would have called the non emergency police line whilst the sister was still there and told them everything, that she's threatening to leave the kids here against my will and they're about to be abandoned without an adult. Harsh but.. kids that young need guardianship and if the sister isn't gonna do it, it's not safe to leave them alone. Nor legal at that age. (Most places it is 12 for a few hours.) My concern would be safety but most of the time, if I'm going out, it's not for fun but medical or legally required for my pay appointments. Regardless of the reason, OP didn't agree. Edit: Dang typos :p
Patrick H 8 months ago (edited)
OP should have left before the sister arrived or before the sister could leave the kids behind. Once OP allowed the sister to leave without the children, they became OP's responsibility, even if the sister was a àsshole to do that. OP could try calling the police or CPS, but the chances are that they would still leave them with her since she is an actual family member. Leaving those innocent kids by themselves was criminal, so OP is quite the àsshole, too. It's even worse that she made her friends complicit in her crime, as well.
Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
She should NOT have left those little kids alone. Her sister sounds like she turned into a jealous b***h when this girl was born because she didn't get all of the attn anymore. You don't dump your kids on somebody especially after they said no. Grandma also never should have volunteered her to babysit.
silverfish imperitrix 8 months ago
I wouldn't have let them through the door. Leave sis and her kids standing on the porch.
Melissa anderson 8 months ago
Sister should not have kids unless she’s willing to take care of them. She’s to arrogant and entitled to understand a simple two letter word like NO!
ADDchallengedINFP-T 7 months ago (edited)
Next time, as soon as you have been told to babysit. lock the doors, don't answer the phone, as if you were not at home. Or, as soon as you hear of the babysitting, leave your home, go for a walk, coffee, whatever. don't answer the phone. I hope the sister doesn't have a key to your home. If you have a car, drive off to oblivion. No explanation needed "I have other plans". Nada, zip, no, and no.
JP 7 months ago
I have problems with this one. Good on the OP for putting her foot down and keeping her boundaries intact. But, OP abandoned those kids, too! At that point, she's just as guilty as her sister. Call the police. Call CPS. Leave before her sister shows up. There were so many ways to handle this situation that didn't involve leaving a 5 & 3 yo alone. And, the OPs mom is guilty too, though to a slightly lesser degree. All involved in this tale fall under YTAs. Poor kids.
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago
I'm kind of curious if sister was out of options because she had pulled this on other people and that was why sis HAD to do it.
Kate Johnson 8 months ago
Call CPS. She's clearly an incompetent parent if she's pulling something like this, who knows what else she's doing?
Carey Truitt 8 months ago
Definitely should have called cps how much clearer could you have made it when you said no multiple times
Iris Collins 8 months ago
If I'm being told I'm babysitting for a sister I don't talk to, I'd be asking what's wrong with them, that I of all people just HAVE to babysit all of a sudden.
dewittjoy 8 months ago
NTA but she should have either not been home when her sister arrived with the kids, or locked her doors and refused to answer when she got there. She also could have walked out when she got there & called her friends to pick her up down the street. I can’t imagine anyone so brazen & non caring as to try to force her sister to keep her kids, when she was clearly telling her no. I would never have left my children with someone who didn’t want to keep them. The grandmother is also a piece of work for ignoring her daughter’s very clear refusal.
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