Reflecting On A World, Not All Too Long Ago, Where Shaming Women In Crisis Was The Norm
I’m a huge Amy Winehouse fan, and have been since I was lucky enough to actually see her perform Rehab in person in 2007 at the MTV Movie Awards from the front row. Sitting only maybe 20 feet away her, I got to experience her spectacular, larger than life voice first-hand, in the the most phenomenal performances I’ve ever seen by an artist. Despite the fact that in June 2007, Amy was newly married, and seemed over the Moon on the red carpet, it was still very clear that Amy was fighting some real demons in her personal life, as she was the thinnest person I’d ever seen in real life, so much so that it was a bit shocking and worrisome to witness. But she still managed to give a performance that moved that entire theater, you could really feel the electricity in the air, especially as she neared the end of the her now, so tragically and ironically named, breakout smash-hit, Rehab.
Watch “Amy Winehouse – Rehab (Live MTV Movie Awards 2007)” on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/46472106?ref=em-share
https://share.icloud.com/photos/0AtaIsl1sHBNpRlCKspyqJrwg
As I watched the unforgettable performance for the first time in over a decade, It made me really rethink the way so many women, especially one’s who were “lucky” enough to be in the spotlight at that time, had been treated by, well, everyone.
This awards show was also where Host Sarah Silverman made some pretty scathing jokes at Paris Hilton’s expense, who would later that night start serving her less than month long jail sentence. The awards show was meant to be her last hurrah before turning herself in, but it unfortunately didn’t really go as she’d hoped. I can still hear the crowd roaring after she reached the punchline of her joke, a pretty nasty one suggesting the bars be painted like penises, but that she feared Paris would chip her teeth on the bars. It definitely didn’t age well, that’s for sure, it now sounds exactly like the mean-girl bullying that it was… but in that moment, people ate it up.
https://youtu.be/G_v3dN7TOk4
Paris was seated only about 3 rows, directly behind me, and I remember looking over my shoulder right at that moment, with a packed theater full of celebrities and spectators, all wildly laughing at her expense, and looking directly at her for a reaction. She looked a bit paralyzed in the moment, and you could tell that she was in the fight of her life to hold back tears from the undeserved humiliation of having an entire audience of people so blatantly laughing at her misfortune and the mistakes she, I’m sure, wasn’t proud of. I will always remember the look on her face at that moment.
https://share.icloud.com/photos/06Ot1uEW6IBpFoXMoDKgYywig#Universal_Studios_Hollywood
Thankfully, in March of this year, Sarah Silverman actually apologized to Paris, in a heartfelt statement on her podcast, and Paris finally did accept her apology.
This got me thinking about how Amy was also treated by the media, as well as fans. Like, she too, was not even a person. Like she didn’t have real feelings, devastating struggles and insurmountable challenges every day in her life as an addict. When I searched her name on Facebook hoping to see what the reactions of my friends had been to her death, it was almost shocking to see what people had said about her in the wake of her death, which was tragic no matter what the circumstances that led up to it. I only saw one comment from a friend on Facebook that wasn’t shaming to outright mocking her in the week following her loss against her personal battle with addiction… a loss that certainly didn’t deserve that level of flippant and judgmental shame.
https://www.marieclaire.com.au/toxic-truth-deep-dive-into-female-treatment-in-the-90s
Thankfully, we’re moving in the right direction, but not quickly enough, and without the level of remorse and responsibility that we all need to have for the way we all contributed to the sexist, innately damaging, but widely accepted, way women in the spotlight were treated in those not so evolved years following the turn of the century.
I laughed at those jokes, wholeheartedly, and I’m ashamed now that I ever thought it was ok to laugh about another human being’s struggles. Because it never, EVER was.
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Willing to be shown that i'm wrong, but i don't see how the amy winehouse jokes were any different than the Robert Downey Jr, Gary Busey, David Hasselhoff, or Charlie Sheen jokes. When anyone in the public eye is an obvious and absolute wreck, people make jokes. Not saying it should be that way, just questioning if there is evidence for it being sexist other than that she was a woman.
Willing to be shown that i'm wrong, but i don't see how the amy winehouse jokes were any different than the Robert Downey Jr, Gary Busey, David Hasselhoff, or Charlie Sheen jokes. When anyone in the public eye is an obvious and absolute wreck, people make jokes. Not saying it should be that way, just questioning if there is evidence for it being sexist other than that she was a woman.
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