Guy Rates Benches All Around The UK And The Reviews Are Spot-On

As benches go, this is as near to perfect as you’ll find. Beautifully crafted, perfectly placed and lovingly donated by a man’s family. My bio is this quote from Samuel Beckett: “we spend our life, it’s ours, trying to bring together in the same instant a day of sunshine and a free bench”. I fully believe this to be true. I waited patiently to sit on this bench as a courting couple spoke of life’s wonders and love. But it was worth the wait. A break in the rain and finally some sunshine offered the perfect chance to take in the view, and what a view it was. If you ever wondered why this page exists, it’s for moments like this. A solid bench, comfortable seating, firm arm rests, a touching plaque and a slabbed base. I have no recommendations for this bench other than to the people smoking dank in a graveyard at midday, have a little common decency for the dead and those around you. I’d love to have a bench such as this dedicated to me one day. Quality, 9/10. The reason this is not a 10 is because I don’t know what the perfect bench will be until I have rated my final bench and reflect on the best ones. But there’s every chance with hindsight this will be it. This is my favourite bench to date.

The view was almost beautiful enough to forget about the shoddy bench, almost. I recognise there are geographical issues to overcome here to allow for a bigger and better bench to be built on a hill, but it’s doable. Mind over matter. The bench was rotten, covered in lichen and lacked support of any kind. It allowed for a momentary pause to gather your composure prior to overcoming the steps to the top but functionality shouldn’t compromise quality with benches. My biggest peeve wasn’t even about this bench, it’s the absence of a bench at the top of the Golden Cap that really irked me. The place was crying out for a bench to allow for breathless and panting couples to enjoy the surrounding vistas. But no, this was the best the area could conjure. An unfortunate, 3/10.

“For Doris, A lady with style”. And style this bench has.
I never knew Doris, but what a lovely memorial. It’s well made, the only bench here that’s painted and sits in a great park. Doris, if I could have a bench anywhere near this standard I’d be a happy man. 8/10.

As we move further into Autumn and the rain sets in be sure to carry something with you for wiping benches over before sitting, on this occasion I used a glove left in the pocket of my coat from last winter. As always, I try not to let the weather shroud my judgement of the bench, but it must be said it can put a dampener on things - literally. The bench is made from anti-vandal material, hence the plastic coating I often comment on, and I recognise needs must at times. Nonetheless, I still prefer a solid wooden seat. I do appreciate the colour of the seat mimics that of genuine wood/timber but it is just that, a mimic. For me the bench offers too many straight lines and angles, I’m a fan of curvature and something that flows with the body. Pros: a solid base along the promenade, decent height back support and a plaque. Cons: no arms, no curvature and was soaking wet. 5/10.

This will be political. I make no apologies. We are admist turbulent and volatile times but burying your head in the sand or denying accountability for excessive deaths through ill managed pandemic plans or through racially driven police brutality does nothing but indirectly support racist and incompetent governance. Things are stressful and overwhelming of late, so take your time in nature, sit on benches, be thankful but don’t avoid the hard questions for too long. Ask yourself where you stand on these matters, the very fact you have a social media account gives you a platform to give a voice to those that are no longer with us or have been subjected to discrimination for their race or religion. Now for the metaphor, as humans we’ve gone full circle like this bench. We are stuck in a repeating cycle of exploitation and racism fed by Governments and the Media. Fuck Boris Johnson and Donald Trump. The bench was uncomfortable, as is the questions and arguments we need to have to make progress at times like these. 3/10.

It’s my granny’s birthday today and we had afternoon tea on the lawn. It was all very civilised. My granny said “I like the view, it’s a solid bench.” Short and sweet. That’s how reviews should be. Happy 77th Birthday Granny, welcome to the world of rate this bench. Bench is a 6/10, the company is 10/10. Much love.

For those of you who had the misfortune to listen to me speak on @bbcradio2 with Vanessa Feltz, this was the bench I was on. It’s a bench in Little Sodbury and offered a nice place to talk, especially with the Chestnut tree offering shelter from the rain! The photo doesn’t quite show how the branches had been cut in a way to offer an unspoiled view. The bench has been well kept, the base solid, the seat curved and comfortable, and the back rest is a good height. There’s no plaque but the bench is engraved with the word “Millennium”. It sits a little near to a road, that may not be all that busy but the sound of the cars definitely cuts through the peace. The overhead shot doesn’t quite give do the location justice. It’s a good bench, 7/10.

These benches, like sprouting trees in rainforests, were all vying for the same fresh air and spot of sunshine. I’ve never come across 4 benches so tightly packed in together outside of a major city; which in any year prior to 2020 was ideal, now 2 of 4 shouldn’t be occupied for social distancing reasons. I’d like to draw reference to the bench being so small, but actually the bench is perfectly average in size I’m just wider than most. There’s space for 3 people, more slender than I, to sit comfortably and revel in the views across the Jurassic Coast. Interesting fact, the 96 miles of coastline making up the Jurassic Coast was the first wholly natural world heritage site in the UK. The seat was comfortable, offering a slight curvature and plenty of support in the back and arm rests. The bench offered a lovely dedication to a Japanese woman who loved Charmouth. The concrete base was purpose built for 3 of the 4 benches hear, the 4th was clearly a late addition. But of the 3 “ogs” they were crying out for some varnish ahead of another savage winter on the coast British coast. All in all, an above satisfactory bench. 6/10.

Sometimes the company and the cause is worth far more than the view and the back support. The people at the @samaritanscharity are the most selfless people around, they’re there for you night and day, 24/7. At @ynotfestival I requested they bring back their beer crate bench specifically for this photo and they did? I couldn’t leave without a photo on their bench. Mental health is one of the most important charitable causes around, and I’m thankful for their existence. This backdrop is worth more than any plaque, there’s contact information there for anybody who needs somebody to speak to and share with. Check on your friends and make sure they’re okay. Festivals don’t always get things right, the weather, the queues, the price of beer, but at least they invite the right charities along to help those who feel vulnerable and isolated. This review is not up for debate, thank you to the Samaritans, their bench is an 8/10.

“Keep rocking in the free world.” This is a very heartfelt and warm dedication to Gaz, Kaz and Phil, 3 musicians from Kingswood. The sun came out to add to the warmth of this bench. It’s deserving of an extra photo too. It’s a great piece of craftsmanship, with attention paid to detail in the carving. The seat itself is very comfortable, the optimum recline of the back rest is between 95-105 degrees, I’d put this around 95. The seat was at a good height, and the back support was well above my shoulders which goes down well. It sits on a little green known as “The Chipping” and it’s home to a glorious red phonebox too as seen in the view. To step behind the bench and read “Don’t look back in anger” was something very powerful. This was a pleasure to rate, 7/10.

On the 12th September 1685 twelve men were hung in Lyme Regis following the failed Monmouth Rebellion. The judge who sentenced the men to hang was a distant relative of mine, the infamous George Jeffreys. This story bears no real relevance to the bench other than its location. The bench continued on either side of where I sat as a memorial to the fisherman and boatman who had passed. The location over looking the harbour and stench of fish was quite fitting. The “Cobb” was originally constructed to create an artificial harbour here, and provided great shelter from the wind. The bench itself was 2 beams of painted wood locked between rock arms/supports. Like the Cobb, undoubtedly built to last, just not for comfort or for beauty. 4/10.

I spent longer than anticipated sat on this bench, it was regrettable and displeasing. The Starbucks was whack, the view was grim, and the seat was terrible. To have a seat with such prominent curvature but to finish only halfway up your back is very uncomfortable. It’s left me with an aching back. The arm rests are little more than dividers in the seat and dig into your sides and hips. I’m not keen on back to back benches, they aren’t houses in Birmingham in the 1840s. This bench is an abomination. 2/10.

Boats and hoes. Took a trip to Almondsbury garden centre this morning for a mooch around and came across this wee boaty. It’s good to see things being up-cycled. I’m not convinced I’d spend £514 on it though. It was quirky, and the seat had plenty of depth but there wasn’t a great deal of strength in the back - my guess is it’s more decorative than supportive. I was however fond of the view. It was like peering into my future, I’m looking forward to the day where I get to buy a shed and put it on an allotment with a radio, kettle and comfy chair. A nice idea as place to put your plant pots but as a bench it was less than shipshape. 4/10.

So @walesonline quoted somebody calling this the “stupidest bench in Wales”. They weren’t wrong. To me a bench requires a level of comfort to be considered a bench, this had none at all. The metal was digging into my back. Concrete and metal are a terrible combination for providing comfort. As views go, it’s quite something, felt like I was on the set of Bugs Life. The noise of traffic and smell of stale urine from the nearby toilets offer a displeasing roller coaster for the senses. For humour alone, the fact it exists is worthy of a solitary mark. 1/10.

Let’s answer the age old question amongst the fans of Ratethisbench: what comes first, the zero or the 10? Low and behold it’s the zero. It’s a real stinker. I hate anti-homeless benches and regularly save my lowest marks for them, but this takes the prize as being the worst bench so far hence receiving my lowest mark ever. I’m lost for words really. Who decides to do this to a bench? It’s upsetting. 0/10.

As view points go in Bristol this is right up there. As inaccurate place names go, this again is right up there. The so called “Lovers’ Leap” is not the spot where star-crossed lovers leapt to their death. It was given the name by Thomas Farr, who was well versed in story telling and creating false myths to do with his estate. The bench offered no plaque but there was plenty of inscriptions and names carved into the wood. The lack of concrete base begot a very dirty jacket when it fell to the ground. For a place offering such spectacular views over the Avon Gorge, Stoke Bishop and Sneyd Park one can only assume the uncomfortable bench is to discourage people sitting for too long and hogging the view. For the view alone, this was a 3/10. Plus, benches that let my feet dangle give me a complex about my height.

Surround yourself with people that motivate and encourage you, whether that’s during your degree or rating benches. @girlsoncam_ you’re of the highest order. Today we graduated as Master’s of Modern History. This bench and the rain were in a close contest for being the worst part about the day. I was glad to have the robe to sit on. One would have thought on a campus full of engineers and design students they could have conjured up something nicer than this, it’s little more than sheet metal welded together. There’s next to no comfort, there was surface water, no plaque, no arm rests and ultimately its fairly unpleasant on the eye. Modern benches can be practical, comfortable and stylish. This was not. The company was the biggest redeeming feature of this bench. 3/10.

Today I came across the daddy of all benches. This is a poignant tribute to Conor Hall and the @clipupforconor.info campaign. It is one of the sturdiest benches I’ve sat on, it’s practically made of railway sleepers. The back support is a great height and offers well treated and smooth timber. I’ve added in a 3rd picture so you can see the enormity of this bench, it was truly remarkable and clearly resemblance of people’s love for Conor. I sat in the middle for photograph purposes, but the seat with the arm rests looked good enough to spend hours comfortably seated in the sunshine. It’s well positioned in a super park too, I’m a little lost for words to describe the magnificence of this bench. This deserves my highest rating so far. 9/10. Superb.

The Gloucester and Sharpness canal in its original construction was 16 miles long, 16ft deep (one of the deepest in the world) and had 16 bridges over the canal, the math of the industrial revolution was mad. This bench was highly sought-after and it didn’t take long for the seat to be filled once again shortly after vacating. The bench was dedicated to Peter Crouch, not the 2 meter Peter we know and love from his premier league days and podcasts, but a local man who was the chairman of the Saul Junction Boatowners Club. The seat was comfortable with a subtle curvature, the arms were solid and purpose built to rest a drink, the back was a good height, and the base ample. It offered a lovely bit of shade beneath a large tree for those looking to bide awhile during a walk along the towpath. A solid 7/10.

It’s my grandad’s 80th birthday today, he granted my wish of being a guest for ratethisbench. In his 80 years on this earth he’s seen a world war and now he must put up with his grandson rating benches for the internet. His view is “it’s a nice place to cogitate being that the building behind has history, it’s in a quiet corner of Yate and there is a bit of greenery nearby.” On this occasion, he is the authority on benches. I’d add that the loose plank could do with bolting back down, and a touch up on the paint would keep this bench looking tidy, but I’ll leave that for @yatetowncouncil to organise. It’s crying out for a plaque. Also the seat is 4 inches too low. The arm rests are decent and the back comes up a suitable height. A bench in the shade on a hot summers day is always refreshing. I’d give it a 6/10.

First off, thank you to everybody who read, shared and interacted with the Bristol post’s write up. Maybe the BBC will come knocking for some coverage next 👀 Back to the serious stuff, this bench isn’t pretty, nor is it comfortable but let me tell you it was very much needed. It’s not the most accessible bench/beach but for those of you who can survive the journey it is very rewarding. The bench is ideal for brushing off sandy feet or offering a moment’s shelter from the elements. There’s plenty of depth to the seat, boarding on too much given that my feet didn’t touch the ground if I sat back. But it’s built to last. There’s not a great deal of marks in the comfort value here but scores well in its sturdiness, it’s view and it’s functionality. 4/10.

The Downs in Bristol are hailed as the ‘lungs of Bristol’ and have been a protected piece of land for the people of the city to enjoy it as a leisure resort since 1861. The description of the Downs as the lungs of the City is a fascinating and accurate description of the area. It’s a place to breathe, enjoy and appreciate the beauty here whether running, playing Quidditch, football, dog-walking or taking a seat on one of the many benches. There was a very loving and touching memorial on the bench that read “We sit with you to heal our hurt”. A lot can be said for allowing yourself time to sit a while and heal for so many different things in life. The bench offered a great place to sit and admire the changing leaves and passers by enjoying the park. It was a nice bench, the seat was a little uneven in place and the arm rests not to my preference. But the back rest was at a suitable recline and it had been well maintained. Overall, a nice place to sit, 5/10.

Nothing quite beats the peace of mind given by the middle support on a bench. If in doubt about its structural stability, aim for there and the bench will hold. The curvature of the seat was subtle but substantial enough to provide comfort and even pressure. It’s in a nice community garden and the chestnut offered a nice area out of the sun. My favourite thing of the garden was seeing a gathering of older men and women enjoying the chat and company of others, even at a distance. A community garden being used by the community is wonderful. Back to the nitty gritty parts. The biggest drawback of this bench is the back rest, it provides no real support or comfort. The bench as a whole is a little low, the arms drop away too quickly, and it’s too near to the road. It was pleasantly average nonetheless, 5/10.

They say never work with kids or animals and I can see why. This New Forest Pony decided to get a little closer to the review (swipe right for a surprise). For a place with “Bench” in its title I was expecting to be met with something large or grandeur but it was neither. The hill upon which these benches sit was supposedly the remains of a dragon slain by a Knight called Berkeley, and the Yew trees behind me grew from the Yew bow of the Knight. There were no survivors. And there are no prisoners, the bench was lack lustre and uncomfortable, I didn’t find a plaque nor an arm rest in sight. No curvature and no solid base. Displeasing, 3/10.

Recently in Yate vandalism of benches and play equipment has increased by 100% during August, so to find a group committed to improving and tidying up the community is refreshing and admirable. Today’s bench was a request from my location Action Group to review a bench during today’s “Abbotswood Autumn Clean Up”. The 4 photos attached are a comparison of today and 1 year ago, the efforts of the Action Group to transform this area are commendable. I grew up in this area and it was forever under an ASBO (Anti-Social Behaviour Order) but the dedication to the area over the past few years have transformed Abbotswood. The play area, newly laid pavement and planters have really given this place a new lease of life. The benches were receiving some TLC too. As a bench the back is upright and supportive, a good height, a solid new base and a sound seat. The previous mark was a 5/10, today’s score is 6/10. Community is everything.

A wonder around the quaint village of Malmesbury was rewarded with a bench in the grounds of the Abbey. Here’s an interesting fact, Hannah Twynnoy is buried here, she is believed to be the first person in the UK to be killed by a Tiger in 1703. The irony is that she was working in a pub named the White Lion at the time. The bench itself structurally is very solid and could have scored very well had it been maintained and given a concrete base. I also didn’t appreciate having to walk across the grass (and potentially graves) to get to the bench. It scores moderately well despite its drawbacks, 6/10.

Let me start off by saying we did pick up the San Pellegrino before leaving this bench. When I first sat down I did so carefully to be sure the bench was structurally sound, once I was satisfied in that I sat here with my better half for 3 hours watching the sunset and enjoying a picnic. The bench itself was nothing compared to the company but it provided a lovely setting nonetheless. I could sit here and moan about the bench but what’s to be admired here is the age and the weathering it has faced. The bricked ring of trees were originally planted in 1815 to celebrate the victory at Waterloo and replaced in 1952. I’d guess the bench was installed around a similar time. At the foot of the bench was the remnants of a stone base, so I’ll hold judgment on the dusty shoes. Arguably more could be done in the upkeep of the bench, but the view was stunning and it was hella old. Worth the climb up the hill, 5/10.

The authority on benches has just finished his Masters Degree. I cannot judge the thesis because I’m not the authority there.
As benches go it was reasonable, a nice curve to the seat, the back is adequate, the arms are comfortable and the base is decent. The view of the meadow makes for a pleasant change on campus. Ideally it could do with a paint job and a dedication. It’s a glorious day. 6/10.

A couple of early notes: what a glorious start to autumn and remember to social distance even when in public spaces. In my time refereeing I’ve come across this bench many times but never reviewed it because it was always wet and I never made too many friends during the games to ask for a photo after! This bench was so sheltered from the sun it was cold to the touch and I’m pretty sure the darkened colour is to do with the damp deep set in the wood caused by a lack of sunshine. It made for a brief, cold seat. It was very upright and bore no plaque. To me it looks clumsy in its design and offers an obstructed view of the football being played. 4/10.

Talk about unpredictable weather! 10 minutes prior to this we were in warm sunshine and then a sudden downpour typical of British summertime! Windbreakers aren’t waterproof either kids. Don’t let my expression fool you, this bench was a surprising gem and it had the best lumbar support possible. In my case it was more like lumber. The side profile picture showed this along with the quirky design. The seat had a quite the recline to it which done wonders for taking the weight off. It’s nearly brand new and in great condition. Somebody had also drawn a love heart in the concrete base which was a nice touch. The usual grumbles about a wet bench still ring true but it was comfortable and supportive. The walk around Sand Point was also a great Sunday activity. 7/10.

Sunday’s are for spontaneity and putting thoughts of work on Monday as far from the mind as possible. As concrete bases go this was quite simply fantastic, look at all the space, not a single muddy patch in sight. This bench was well weathered and dedicated to a trio I can only assume to be French given that the plaque was in French. “The bench was poor, but the view was not, hence why we sat here a lot.” I can’t speak nor read French, but that’s what I’d have put. As benches go it’s a very standard bench, the charm here is entirely to do with the view and one cannot begrudge that. 5/10 for the base, plaque and views. Swipe to the end for a surprise. It’s me smiling after the first swim in the sea of the year.

The big January sad has kicked in and I’m struggling to find time to rate benches. Here’s one I’ve had on the ice for a little while. I don’t always coordinate with benches, but when I do. The bench was nearly new and the seat itself was deep set and comfortable. The back rest lacked height, as did the arms, this was a low rider. The best part about this bench was the 2nd plaque, it offered a helpline and place to sit for the homeless and I’m all for it. @streetlink number 0300 500 0914. This is the opposite end of the benches spectrum to what we see in so many towns and cities and it’s good to see people are dedicating memorial benches to offer a helping hand to those in needs. Bravo. The bench won’t receive the highest marks but it’s noble and admirable nonetheless. 5/10. The humanity mark is a 10.

Go to Museums kids, history is important. I have to say that otherwise my degree was pointless. This was a cracking bench, it’s grande, seating for 6 normal sized folk, a high back rest, thick arm rests and a beautifully carved seat. The bench is well maintained, as you’d expect, and is situated in a beautiful entrance hall with an early side sample of an aeroplane hanging overhead. It’s rather impressive. It’s a 7/10.

First off let me apologise for the lack of content recently, the weather and dark evenings are unrelenting and unfavourable for bench reviews. Today was not a great day for sitting on a bench. This was a flying review given that it was raining and I wanted to be indoors. The bench was a pretty design, which was not out of place in Chipping Sodbury. It bragged plenty of curves and comfort, with the back support following the shape of your body. Given that I was sat forward I fancy sitting all the way back would result in my feet dangling in the air. There was a plaque and a concrete base. The arm rests were very narrow and the drawback for metal benches is always the unyielding firmness of the iron slats. The bench sat quietly along the river and watching the torrent was entertaining. The backdrop is very powerful too. It’s a 5/10.

If you ever go to @ynotfestival be sure to pack a decent poncho, it’s wetter than an Otter’s pocket. The boat in the view maybe useful if the rain keeps up. This was the bench version of Stonehenge, with 8 benches all facing one another of different shapes and styles. The sacrificial pit in the middle is concerning. The bench was a great piece of craftsmanship, beautifully designed and put together. It was stylish and a decent place to perch. However, it’s very low - sitting is more like squatting, and the back support doesn’t come up above the small of your back which is problematic. The arm rests are more like armpit props. At least it was a bench, unlike yesterday’s. It’s a 5/10.

This post is to remind people to register to vote by the 25th November. As many as 9.5 million people eligible to vote in the UK are unregistered, which includes 1 in 3 teenagers. There are few more important benches in the UK than those in the House of Commons, regardless of your political allegiance make the most of our democratic society and vote. People fought for your right to vote. I’m humbled by the number of people who take a great interest in my bench reviews but it’s the benches in Parliament where people should direct their interest every once in a while. The conversations on benches in parks and fields hold a great significance to those present, but it’s the benches in the Commons where discussions and debates between 650 elected MPs have an affect on the lives of millions of people across Britain. Be sure to register to vote and vote for whoever you believe best represents you and your ideals. Do your own research before making a decision; history remembers those who shout the loudest, but, that’s not always a good thing. Back to the review: this bench was good, strong and stable, but those benches could be better. 7/10. The sky news advert is worth a watch.

In the times between rating benches and refereeing football matches I can be found attending @ofandc gigs in South Wales. They’re playing tonight in Porters in Cardiff and the Exchange in Bristol on Tuesday. This is little more than a church pew, it’s small, the seat is narrow, it’s just one big dog wide and has a very stiff back. It’s uncomfortable but close enough to the speakers to really appreciate the groovy riffs and disgruntled yelling. It’s one of the few indoor benches I’ve rated so it’s a nice change up and the lighting was extra. The bench is poor, but it’s not anti homeless so it gets a reasonably rated 2/10. OFAC receive a modest 8 for the music. But they’re 3 of my best friends and a collective 10/10.

Working from home this Saturday. This is a pleasant reminder to stay at home and make the most of your gardens and technology. Stay close to others but keep your distance. My mum and dad dropped off a newspaper and a beer to keep me sane. I have no option but to review this chair: it’s too tight on the thicc boi hips, but it’s pleasantly sheltered from the outside world and offers a chance to make the most of my good fortune with people around me and sunshine. 2/10, as it’s not a bench but it’s still better than the anti-homeless ones spotted in major cities. Stay safe everybody.

Don’t let the face mislead you, this was a joyous little spot. It provided comfort, a chance to rest and a chance to soak in the dramatic scenery. If you’ve never walked through the Valley of the Rocks you are missing out, and if you have done the walk I hope you treated yourself to a pasty in Lynmouth. Or if you were really brave took one for the road as a reward for a swim at Lee Abbey. Shoutout to @happy_baggie for the nifty bag, ideal for carrying swimming costumes and towels for your beach endeavours! For those of you unaware I reserve 3 marks per bench to judge the scenery, this is a rare occasion where all 3 marks are given. The drawback for this bench was primarily with the base, it had come loose and was on the verge of collapsing. But hey, we all have a wobble from time to time! I will be returning for sure, 7/10.

Rating benches can be hungry work, so always keep a Reece’s piece in your pocket. Swansea sea front’s poor bench selection continues with this shambles. There’s a whole lot of grey tones in this photo, the bench, the bricks and the the sky. It offers individual seating with is different. But the seat beside me is missing a plank and the back support is positively awful. Some of the stones have been removed leaving a jagged edge. The arm rests are questionable. In fact I’m the authority on benches, they’re not arm rests. It gets marks for creativity but it’s really poor. Minimal comfort here. 3/10.

Is it a bench or is it a bed? Due to the poor selection of benches at @ynotfestival I’m clutching at straws to bring you acceptable content and for that I can only apologise. Judging it against my infamous criteria: my feet don’t touch the floor, there’s no plaque, concrete base, curvature or support. It’s solidly put together and only the 2nd bamboo bench this page has seen. At least it provides some shelter. It’s a 2/10.

Over the Christmas period be sure to buy a @bigissueuk for £3 and speak to the HUMAN selling the magazine. It’s Christmas time for them too and a few quid in their pocket will go a long way to giving them a bed on Christmas Eve. For a City with all the glitz and glam of Bath, the benches are somewhat underwhelming and rather run down. This bench was the best of the bunch and was one of the few which had a plaque. There’s a gentle curve to the seat and the back support, although stopping a little low, arches slightly with your back. The arm rests are decent enough, there was a paved base and it was wooden. The bench feels a little small and a little low, I don’t really like the layout of the square with so many benches facing one another. It’s of a decent standard, it could be better though. 6/10.

The willingness of strangers to take photos of me on a bench with no questions asked is refreshing. This is a memorial bench for Bev whom worked in Tesco in Yate. Recognising that it sits at the top of the escalators in Tesco, I’m pleased to give credit for the solid base and plaque. The back could be a little higher, but that’s all I have to say on it’s draw backs. It’s a good bench for any older gentlemen or women who are happy to sit and allow their other half’s to do the shopping. Being that it’s inside it’s a place to sit in all weathers. It’s a nice bench, a little on the small side for myself but I think it’s a sensitive touch from @tescofood. It’s a 6/10.

Still here, still rating from home. I decided to give myself the “Alien Ant Farm” cut for isolation. Again, there’s not a huge review to be had here, it’s one of the better camping chairs to be had, it’s roomy, comes with a bottle holder, a pleasant seat in the sun and the safe knowledge that I’m doing my bit to help the NHS. This chair was found abandoned in the car park of a music festival and it’s been part of the family since. Honestly as camping chairs go, it’s an 8/10, I don’t think they come much better unless they’re in the sun at a festival. As a bench goes, again it’s probably just a 2/10.

I’m lucky in that where I live wonderful places and benches are only a few minutes up the road. This bench was dedicated to a couple who loved Tormarton and as a place to sit and unwind after a stroll around Dyson’s estate it was very much enjoyed. The bench was comfortable and roomy, the seat was spacious and offered a gentle curve, the back rest was supportive and the arms were stable. There was a concrete base and it was set by a pond that was wild and overgrown, much like my Dad’s hair and beard since lockdown began. I enjoyed my moments rest here. 7/10

Time for a switch up. The side on photo not only shows off the serpent tail iron work but also the sloping angle of the seat. My assumption is the slope of the seat planks is done to offer a curvature but also for drainage of rain water. Either way, it wasn’t overly comfortable, but 3 plank benches never are. They are too rigid, there needs to be more planks to offer better comfort and support. There’s no arm rests, nor is there a plaque. But I like the colour green, I’m sure you’re all fully aware of this by now. It’s a 5/10.

It’s early in December so this has just the slightest dash of festivity. For a bench that sits at the top of a cul-de-sac it was surprisingly good. If you want to see tacky Christmas lights, this is the place to go. The bench was clearly dated but that’s probably a good sign, at least things were built to last years ago. It’s very solid, the seat was comfortable, the back support was suitably high and the arm rests had a gentle slope and were adequately wide. The Ivy snaking over the legs and arm added to the vintage feel. There were paving stones providing a solid area to prevent dirtying your shoes which is always a good thing. I couldn’t see a plaque which is a shame. Some treatment on the wood could rejuvenate this bench a little. It’s a 6/10.

Let’s not pretend that a covered bench in a rose garden within the grounds of a mansion isn’t a dream. There was potential to have an absolute show stopper of a bench here. The area itself is wonderful and the shelter is a nice touch. Ideally I’d have come while the roses were in bloom. But the bench is uncomfortable, the back “support” is a single thin plank, there’s no curvature to the seat, no plaque, the wood hasn’t been treated in a decade and it’s too low to the floor. It is little more than a place to sit momentarily. I want comfort and a spectacular construction. The bench should be as impressive as the garden in full bloom, if not better because the bench is a constant. It’s a shame. 3/10.

It’s an early one today! Ignore those Gucci bags under my eyes, got up at 4.50am to watch the sunrise. Only for it to be cloudy and didn’t see shiiiit. My biggest grumble about this bench was the rubbish left by people from the day before, barbecues, disposable face masks, empty bottles and cans. Litter was scattered across the park. Putting your bags full of rubbish beside a bin because it’s full isn’t enough - do better, take that shit home and recycle it. Big shout out to the chap doing the litter picking and emptying the bins from @bristolcouncil in the park at 6.30am. Can’t knock that. The bench is in need of a fresh coat but it provides a nice place to sit and look out over Bristol. The middle reinforcement is a always a reassuring site for a big fella. 5/10.

Ratethisbench has finally reached foreign shores. Out here in the UAE 🇦🇪 the benches aren’t great, but the backdrops are quite something. The bench itself was nothing more than folded metal. It was baking hot so sitting for more than a photo opportunity was not possible and Dubai is very traffic heavy and loud. The building in the background is the Burj Khalifa, once the tallest building in the world. My photographer and driver has joined me for the trip too. This place is quite something. It’s a 2/10.